#and i am still mad we never got real good content for him and splinter | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

feathered-serpents · 4 years

Text

Heartseller (aka the Story I Got Published)

So! This is a totally original work about a spooky fae-like spirit that was published in my university lit magazine earlier this year. I’ve been working up the nerve to post it here for awhile, and I expect like 8 people max to read it, but whatever. I’m still proud of it. Hope you like it!

Note: This is not the exact version that was published, so there might be some grammar errors and such

CW: Death of a child, grief, spousal and implied parental abuse

---

Three-hundred men died tonight.

Hurry now, you know how it goes. Douse your fires, snuff your candles, dim your lanterns.

Three-hundred men have died, the Heartseller will be over the hill.

The Heartseller will be over the hill.

---

Róisín Ó Ceallaigh’s brother had died first. The only son of her bloodline and younger than her by ten years. He was a boy too brave to live long. Róisín had never believed in the stories, so she went and bought the brightest lantern she could find and hung it high above her door.

Shannon Mac Gabhann’s husband was next. Men who batter their wives are always terrible with swords. Cowards they all are, and I have long seen my share of cowards. Her candles remained lit as a wish.

Eithne de Paor’s son had lived for hours. His brothers took him to their mother who held his hand and stroked his hair and sang to him until he slept. Of her twelve other sons, none would put out the lantern for her. She sat before her fire, tending to it, dozing in her chair. Waiting.

---

I went to Róisín first.

She was sleeping when I found her. I remember thinking how peaceful she looked, for a woman who just lost her only brother, and how peaceful she looked for Róisín Ó Ceallaigh.

Róisín was a large woman, her skin tanned and freckled from work in the woods, hands calloused from lumber. She wore wild sturdy curls that formed a mane around her face. A face you look at not because it is beautiful, but because it demands it.

I waited, it would not take long.

Róisín Ó Ceallaigh woke, when she saw me, she sat up in bed. She crossed her lumberwoman’s arms over her chest and said, “You’re real then?”

“Yes, Róisín Ó Ceallaigh.”

She raised one red eyebrow. “You know me?”

“I know you. I wouldn’t come if I didn’t know you.”

She smiled with one corner of her mouth, looking out her bedroom window into the glow of the lantern outside. “So, I should have put out the lantern.”

“Perhaps,” I said.

Róisín said nothing.

“Heartseller,” she said. Testing my title. “Heartseller. How do you go about it? The stories never make it that far.”

“You give it to me.”

“Give it?”

“Not for nothing,” I said. “You sell it.”

“But you’re the Heartseller.”

“It is not a title I chose,” I said. “We never choose our titles.”

She furrowed her brows as I said it. She ran a hand up her shirt, pressing down on the skin in the center of her chest. Feeling her heart beat below her fingertips.

“What will you give me?”

“Anything.”

She glared at me. Her eyes were green as emeralds and sharp as knives. “I know your kind,” she said. “It is not anything.”

“It is.”

I did know Róisín Ó Ceallaigh. I knew she was the oldest of eight children. I knew she had six sisters that were all cast aside by their father in favor of their brother. The youngest of them, who had killed their mother on her birthing bed.

I knew Róisín Ó Ceallaigh had built the very house I entered. I knew there were still splinters lodged in her calloused palms, that she felt nothing in her fingertips and had a nail on her left thumb that had gone black and fallen off. I knew somewhere in this house two of her sisters slept, and they had fled with her instead of living under her hellish father’s thumb. Who slept now, sonless, in the castle on the hill that looms above the village.

“Then you know,” she said. “You know me.”

“Róisín Ó Ceallaigh,” I said. “When the sun rises, you will have everything your brother had. Your father’s castle will be yours, everyone in this village will be your people. Your sisters will live lives in silk, and your birthright will be yours. Firstborn.”

Róisín removed her hand from her shirt. She let her hands fall onto the bedding beside her and gripped the blankets. She held her head high.

“So be it, Heartseller.”

Róisín Ó Ceallaigh’s heart was red. It glowed and pulsed like an ember, so full of life. It would stand proud amongst the others, it would be one that never faded. It would outlive the sun.

---

Shannon Mac Gabhann was awake.

She sat by the window and watched the night pass. Beside her sat a little red candle, dripping wax onto the windowsill. In the light, Shannon looked as if she was fading. Shannon was already a ghost.

She saw me coming up her entryway path, she took her little candle, and opened the door. The wax from the candle melted and pooled on the flesh of her hands. She did not flinch.

“Shannon Mac Gabhann,” I said.

She moved from the doorway, standing to the side, and gesturing for me to come in.

Shannon did not build her house, and neither did her husband. Her house was one of the oldest and largest in the village, her husband’s grandfather had built it. It was full of trophies. The house was her husband’s grandfather’s, the animal skins covering the floors and the horns adorning the walls her husband’s fathers, and Shannon, her husband’s.

“I know your kind,” she said. The red candlewax now streamed down the back of her hand. Oozing through her fingers. Bright against her white skin. “Give me what I ask and nothing less.”

I bowed my head to her. She raised her chin and ran her free hand over her belly. “Of course,” I said. “I deal not in tricks.”

Shannon Mac Gabhann. I knew she used to be beautiful. The most beautiful woman for miles. Beautiful enough to attract others of my kind, and I knew then she was careful. Then she didn’t step into the circles of toadstools, then she left gifts by the window, and then she sprinkled salt by the door.

Now Shannon Mac Gabhann was small, despite her belly being round and full. Her hair was grown past her waist and was as yellow and firm as straw. Her eyes were clouded, and her arms pale as the moon, streaked with formless marks of blue.

“I want a husband,” Shannon said. Her voice was shaking, the words I want were foreign to her. “A good husband, you hear? A strong husband. A kind husband.” Her clouded eyes were now a deep blue, and they caught the light of the flame in a way that mimicked courage. “I want a husband who will love me.”

“Hush,” I said. I reached for her. I ran a strand of her ruined hair through my hand, where it became fine and soft once again. “I only ever give what you want.”

She looked up at me, and she smiled.

Shannon Mac Gabhann’s heart was white, with ribbons of blue moving on the surface, like worms, trying to dig in deeper. It likes to be held, so I hold it. I hold it as close to me as I can.

---

Eithne de Paor sat in her chair.

The fire was lit, and her children were not with her. Eithne de Paor could not walk, her chair had wheels to get around. She sat in it, crumpled, every joint in her body as hard as a knot on a tree branch.

She swung her head over to look at me, her neck permanently crooked, she moved each part of her body separately and with great effort. I believe she could see me, even through her milk-white eyes, for when those eyes fell on me. She sighed and nodded her head.

“I told them,” she said. “Put out the lantern before midnight.”

“They didn’t believe you?”

She shook her head. “They think I’m a mad old woman with mad old stories, Heartseller.”

“I don’t come to the mad.”

“Oh, that isn’t true.”

With a trembling, jointed hand, Eithne picked up a long iron fire-poker that had been leaning against her chair and jabbed at the logs with it. Her blind eyes reflecting the flames like a mirror, she prodded until the largest log fell, and the flames burst forth, swallowing the new air. She looked content, closing her eyes to allow the fire to warm her face.

“Go on then,” she said. “Do your bidding.”

“What is it you want?”

She opened one eye. Against the fire, it glowed orange. “You’re supposed to know, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” I said. “I know, but I do not understand.”

“What’s so hard, Heartseller?” she said, closing her eyes again, leaning her head against the back of her chair. “I want you to take my heart.”

“I…I can’t take it.”

“Why not? There’s nothing else I want.”

“You could want wealth,” I offered. “Gold. I could fill your walls with gold.”

She shook her head. “What am I to do with gold?” she said. “I’m too old to buy those silk dresses or heavy jewels. It’d be wasted on me.”

“If not for you, then for your children.”

To this she scoffed. “Of all the things my children need, it is not gold.”

“Power then,” I said. “Come the morning, you will rule this land. Every inch of it yours, to command as you please, all the people your people. To love you, like you deserve.”

She crossed her arms over her lap, knitting her fingers together. “I don’t want power,” she said. “And I am loved.”

“Maybe not a queen’s power,” I said. “I could give you power over the sun, and the moon, you could take them down and hold them in your home. The stars even. Weave them into your hair.”

“My hair is thin,” she said. “What would I do with the sun and moon?”

Here I paused. I thought of what brought me here, of the hearts that drove me over the hills. Yes, there was one last gift I could offer.

“Your son,” I said. “Your son, back from the dead, just as he was.”

“My son is at peace,” Eithne said. “I do not want him back.” She took a long breath. “Take my heart”

“I can’t.”

“I give it to you.”

“You can’t give it,” I said. “You have to sell it.”

Eithne de Paor smiled.

“I know your kind,” she said.

“You all do.”

She sat up in her chair, as tall and proud as her crooked spine would allow.

“Give me your heart.”

“What?”

She placed one hand on the wooden wheel of her chair, with a great creak of the floor the chair turned to face me. Eithne de Paor smiled through me.

“Your heart, Seller,” she said. “I want your heart.”

I have heard the stories the people tell of me. The songs.

They are different each time, some say I am cloaked in black, while others say I am as naked as a newborn. Some say I ride on an ashen horse, and others say I have a wagon that simply pulls itself. I have been told I have blinding red eyes, and I have been told I have no eyes at all. I have even been told I am the brother of Death, and I have been told there is nothing like me in the world.

Of all the stories, there is one thing that never changes. Two undisputed rules among the people.

The Heartseller has no name.

The Heartseller has no heart.

“You know me,” I said to Eithne de Paor.

She smiled. “I know you, Heartseller.”

My heart was red.

My heart glowed and pulsed like an ember, so full of life. My heart stood proud amongst the others, it was one that never faded. My heart outlived the sun.

My heart was white.

My heart had ribbons of blue moving on the surface, like worms, trying to dig in deeper. My heart liked to be held, so hold it. Hold it as close as you can.

But my heart is black.

It is black and dotted with stars. It is a little piece of the night, carved from the sky. My heart is old, and it has seen more than I ever have, or ever will.

My name was Róisín Ó Ceallaigh, the firstborn of my family, and the rightful heir to everything my brother had.

My name was Shannon Mac Gabhann, I was the most beautiful woman in my village, and I will be loved.

But my name is Eithne de Paor, and I am free of my children. I am free of my home.

Three hundred men have died across the hill. Hurry now, put out your candles, dim your lanterns.

Three hundred men have died.

The Heartseller is coming over the hill.

#writing #my writing #original writing #i am sooooo nervous okay here we go

24 notes · View notes

nexstrik · 5 years

Text

mirror true the sight i see (ahri/eve/kai’sa/akali)

Summary: In a universe where the arrival of your soul-mate is heralded by a magical animal, Ahri and Evelynn think they have it all figured out. They found each other easily, and that should have been the end of that.

But then one day a weird deer appears in their apartment and refuses to leave them alone.

TW: (Some sexual content but I don’t think this is clear-cut porn, proceed with caution anyway though)

Also can be read on AO3!

‘We know our soulmates by the trials we face on the path to find them.’ That was what her mother always said. Evelynn found the saccharine martyrdom of it, the elevation of the self-sacrificial, to be incredibly boring. But she was too kind to say so out loud. If she realized there was truth to the phrase, in how so many of her friends awoke with painful markings on their skin or blind to all the colors of the world... well, Evelynn kept that to herself too. Love shouldn’t be a crucible. She firmly believed that soul mates arrived when you were ready for them, and not a moment sooner. When you opened your heart and mind to the idea, your body would respond. It was as simple as that. Her own life experience proved it. Clear cut. When she was thirteen, a fox cub appeared in her bedroom. It clung to her like a shadow, never needing food or rest.

A few frantic phone calls and research trips showed that the manifestation of an animal for your soul mate wasn’t unheard of, just incredibly rare. Soul marks often presented as symbols or words on skin, rarely as something external and realized as an animal. Despite her claims otherwise, Evelynn always did have a flair for the dramatic. Maybe she learned it from her mother. It took years for anything to come of it. Years of living with the shadow of her soul mate, wondering what they might be like. Knowing that somewhere out there, another person held a part of her soul, too. She wondered what animal she was. She wondered what it said about her character. She hoped that she was a good person, that her soul mate didn’t see that splinter of her soul and dread meeting its owner. She tried so fucking hard to be a good person. It ate at her more than she wanted to admit, not knowing what her soul was saying at any given moment. She could read the fox so well, saw so much of his owner in him. Evelynn saw capriciousness in the fox, vanity, and a sharp, wicked sense of humor. He even bit her sometimes, never breaking skin but always when she least expected, like he was testing her. Her first instinct was to lash out, but always, she hesitated. If she responded with violence to this, this little creature that depended almost entirely on her love, then what would she do when she met his owner? A human being with all their imperfections and flaws?

She learned patience from the fox.

Meeting Ahri was a bone-deep relief. She saw the pink snake wrapped around the other girl’s wrist, recognized her own soul in the animal’s eyes, and everything else fell into place. She never second-guessed any of it. How could she, when Ahri so perfectly complemented her? Except sometimes, she did. Staring at the ceiling, awake at night. She questioned the concept of soul mates. She doubted the merit of something so utterly random and out of her control. But then she would turn in her bed and see her wife with a fox sprawled over her lower back and a serpent coiled on top of her head, all three of them fast asleep. And she remembered that the earth was nothing but a massive spinning ball of dirt and fire and gas, that literally every aspect of her existence was happenstance and out of her control. Being existential and overly melancholy didn’t suit her. So she rolled with it and marched on.

Until one morning, Ahri stepped outside to get the mail and everything changed forever. She hovered there in the entrance to their apartment, stock still. Very slowly, she closed the door, ran over to Evelynn and scream-whispered, "Honey! Eve! Come quick, you've got to see this!"

Curled up on their doorstep was a baby deer small enough to fit in both of her palms, white-speckled and wide-eyed. In the middle of Seoul. Miles from any zoo or sanctuary or anywhere you might rationally find a deer.

"Hello, beautiful!" Ahri sang, her phone camera working at a frenzied pace. "Where did you come from? Are you lost? It's so small, Eve, what should we do...?"

The fawn's ears flicked forward when Evelynn peeked out the doorway, and their eyes met, and Evelynn knew.

"Isn't it cute?" Ahri whispered, as if the deer might bolt. In that moment, Evelynn realized Ahri didn't see what she saw.

"No," Evelynn said, opening the door wider.

Getting up on wobbly legs, the sign of her second soul mate scampered through the threshold.

Evelynn paced in front of their couch. At her heels, Ahri's fennec fox followed close as a shadow. They'd named him Kuho, because he always trotted with the confidence and air of a little runway model. Today was no different, though his fur was fluffed up at the tense atmosphere in the room.

"What does this mean?" Evelynn said, pacing, pacing, pacing. Kuho struggled to follow, and even stumbled once or twice until she bent down and scooped him into her arms. "What does this mean? What the fuck does this mean?"

Distressed, she held him on his back like a baby, played with his long ears, squishing them the way she knew he liked. Kuho closed his eyes, little toes flexing in delight at the attention. He was as real as ever, and she felt Ahri's energy pulsing inside of him as sure as a heart beat. Unquestionably, this fox was the mark of her soul mate.

So what was that deer doing on Ahri's lap?

When she dared to glance at the fawn, she saw the animal was tracking her every move, tilting her head to make sure she kept Evelynn in her sight at all times.

Ahri noticed, too. "She really seems to like you."

"She's a deer," Evelynn snapped.

"Aw, babe. Don't be like that." Ahri held the deer to her face, snuggling against the coarse fur. "How can you be mad at a face like this?"

"Very easily!"

Evelynn set Kuho down and plucked the fawn from Ahri's arms. The thing was only the size of a small cat, and a quick internet search confirmed that she was a Chinese water deer. And she was adorable.

Infuriating.

"I do have one theory," Ahri finally said, pulling on her hair and twisting it into nervous braids. "But you're not going to like it."

"I already don't like any of this," Evelynn said, trying to ignore how the deer insisted on resting her chin on Evelynn's shoulder.

Ahri bit her lower lip. "It is a baby deer. So maybe in means...we're about to have a baby?"

Oh.

Evelynn wasn't sure what she should say, if she should say anything. Ahri was resolutely not making any eye contact, twisting her hair tighter and tighter. They talked about this of course, they took precautions, but it had been years since either of them needed to worry about an accident happening. "That's my responsibility, not yours. I didn't get my tubes tied for shits and giggles, you know." Still, she mentally added buy a pregnancy test to her to-do list, just to reassure Ahri.

"I know, but I'd be remiss if I didn't at least mention it. Those surgeries don't always take, HRT doesn't count as birth control, and even forgetting all that, there's other ways a child might land in our life." Getting up, Ahri moved closer so that she could stroke the deer's head again. "...She fell asleep."

Evelynn glanced down, hating how her heart twisted at the sight of it— the deer with her neck stretched out, chin on Evelynn's shoulder, breathing slowly. "Kuho was a baby when he came to me, too."

Ahri's mouth opened in surprise, eyes flooded with relief. "Oh? Eopsin was all grown up when I found her, so I assumed it was the same for you."

"Eopsin—" A sudden bolt of anxiety stabbed right through her. "Where is she right now?"

"Probably in her..." Evelynn didn't wait for Ahri to finish, sweeping further into the apartment. She found Eopsin in a fat pile on the windowsill, soaking up the morning sunlight. Her pink tongue flickered out, beady eyes as pretty as peppermint candy.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

"...favorite spot," Ahri finished, a few paces behind Evelynn. "See? She's still there."

Two warm hands encircled her waist. Ahri held Evelynn tight, her forehead pressed between Evelynn's shoulders.

"I am too. I'm not going anywhere, not if I can help it." Ahri promised, her palms resting flat on Evelynn's stomach. "And if it's something out of my control— well, I'll be at ease knowing you won't be lonely."

Without any warning, tears shot to her eyes. She wanted to wipe them away but she couldn't, not without jostling the baby deer and waking her. Don't say that, she wanted to beg Ahri, but she couldn't, not without betraying the fact that she was crying. Please don't ever say that again.

In the days that followed, she didn't want anything to do with the deer. Not even with how she followed Evelynn from room to room, clinging to her the way Kuho still did. It made her sick to see them cuddled up together at night, asleep at the foot of their bed.

She didn't know who she could talk to about this. Not only because of the unprecedented occurrence of having two soul marks, but because pure shame pinned her tongue down. Evelynn saw the mere presence of the soul mark as a sign of infidelity. She felt like she'd ruined their marriage without even meaning to, and she didn't know how she could fix it.

Shame was an alien emotion for her; she didn't wear it well. And worse than shame— fear. Terror at the unknown.

Once again, Evelynn was forced to confront the unknowable nature of their souls, of the forces that pulled and pushed them together regardless of how they felt.

"Fucker," she said to the fawn, who of course could not talk. Despite the soul mark in her eyes, she was still just a deer. "Homewrecker."

Ahri frowned. "Honey, I'm gonna to need you to get a grip. Okay? It's a deer."

"It's taunting me."

So Ahri just threw her hands up in defeat, letting the subject matter drop for now.

But eventually the days turned into weeks, and months into years. The deer stuck around, growing into an adult. Ahri thankfully took it all in stride. She only lamented that the fawn's spotted 'powdered sugar frosting' faded away, and her fangs grew in. Evelynn suggested that maybe the sugar had just caramelized, so they named her Ppopgi.

As time went on it grew harder and harder to stay angry. Especially as it became clear that Ppopgi adored them both. They couldn't reject her any more than they could reject the blood pounding through their veins. Not when Ppopgi only ever wanted to be loved, only ever wanted to be near them. She was sprightly and mischievous and so unerringly sweet that there was no way Evelynn couldn't love her back in turn.

"Don't you look cozy." Ahri hung from their bedroom door, peeking in at the two of them.

Over the cover of her book, Evelynn glanced down at the deer on her lap. Fully grown now, there was no mistaking her for a normal animal. Though Ahri didn't feel the pull of fate's strings, didn't see her soul mark in Ppopgi's eyes, anyone could tell at a glance that she was tied somehow to Evelynn's fate.

"She hogs up half the bed," Evelynn complained, even as she scratched behind her flickering ears, swapping to baby talk. "Don't you? You needy little dumbass? Huh? You little shit?"

"I'm just glad she isn't like a big deer." Ahri retreated around the corner, shaking her head and chuckling. "It's going to get cramped as hell in here when we find our soul mate."

Our soul mate.

Perhaps it should have been more obvious from the start. Both of them were so much readier to accept the idea that they would lose something, rather than the idea that something would be gained.

Ahri displayed absolutely no jealousy. She stayed true to her word: nothing would take her away. So the evenings often found all five of them sprawled out on the couch, one big weird family.

And one night she heard Ahri shout in surprise. A clatter in the kitchen roused her from her desk and Evelynn went to check on her. "Babe?"

Ahri sat on the kitchen floor, both hands covering her mouth.

"What's wrong?" She tried to see what was amiss, noticing nothing different except Ahri seemed to have dropped the rice cooker. Draped over Ahri's shoulders, Eopsin stuck her head up and turned to Evelynn when she entered the room. Her pink tongue flickered, tasting the air. Ppopgi was licking the flat top of the snake's head.

"I saw her," Ahri said, eyes wide, voice still muffled by her own hands as Ppopgi started to groom her, too. "Evelynn, I saw my mark in her eyes. Whoever her owner is, they're my soul mate, too."

Ppopgi gave them both a little nuzzle, and after that there was no doubt. What took Evelynn years to come to terms with, Ahri accepted right away.

Maybe that's why both of her soul marks had come to her so underdeveloped.

From the deer, Evelynn learned she had plenty of room to change and grow.

Meeting Kai'sa was a complete accident. But given their track record with 'accidents', Evelynn wondered if it hadn't occurred precisely when it needed to.

She should have known something was up when Eopsin insisted on coming along for their jog. Evelynn was positive she'd left the snake inside when she locked their front door. However, when they reached the park, her bag suddenly felt much heavier.

Sure enough, the snake was inside. Eopsin wasn't a natural animal, and no amount of distance could keep her away from Evelynn or Ahri if she really wanted to be with them. Likewise with Kuho and Ppopgi, but it wasn't so unusual to see them trotting at Evelynn's heels. They enjoyed their daily runs.

Ahri, however, did not.

"I hate thiiiiis," she moaned, lagging behind. The animals crowded around her when she stopped, Ppopgi nosing her in concern.

Evelynn took the opportunity to catch her breath as well, though she hated having her momentum paused. "Don't be a baby. This is good for you, you sit too much at your job."

"I have a standing desk!" Ahri protested, gasping in offense. "And I have to be on my feet chasing models all day!"

"It's still good for you!" Evelynn crossed her arms. "If I could trust you to keep up any kind of workout routine I wouldn't insist on this. And didn't you make me promise not to let you slack off?"

"Noo," Ahri moaned again, squatting down with her hands over her head.

"And didn't you tell me that I couldn't let you squirm out of your New Year's Resolutions no matter how much you whined?"

"Noooooo!" Ahri shouted louder.

Evelynn caved. Or she was about to cave, until a black fox the size of a doberman launched out of nowhere and snatched Kuho right by the scruff. He bounded off, stopping a short distance away with his tail swishing in excitement.

"Skaduwee! Geen!"

A tall woman jogged down the path, hot on the fox's tail. She reached for him, shouting in a language none of them understood.

Kuho let out a yelp before the two foxes vanished into thin air. Evelynn and Ahri could only stand there, stunned, as the stranger kept searching frantically for their animals. She swapped to English in frustration, swearing up and down. "When I find you I'm going to turn you into a fur coat, you...!"

Eopsin slithered out of Evelynn's bag. A pink streak of lightning, he wound up the stranger's leg, up around her chest, and under her shirt. Then he squeezed out of the collar to wind around her neck, accompanied by a piebald, black-and-white snake.

The two of them encircled her head like a crown, and in that instant it almost felt like they worked as a set of hands, turning her head towards Ahri and Eve.

"...Oh," the stranger said, standing a little off balance. The snakes dropped from her, but never landed onto the earth. Instead they vanished, too.

So only Ppopgi was left. Her hooves clopped lightly on the pavement, nose outstretched and ears pricked forward.

"Oh," the stranger said again, her knees giving way. She plopped down onto the ground while Ppopgi squirmed onto her lap, snuggling her furiously. The stranger pretty much had no choice but to hold her, arms loosely entwined around the wiggling, soul marked deer. "Oh. Oh my god."

None of them could say anything for a solid minute. Evelynn was the first to recover, cautiously speaking in English, since that was a language they seemed to have in common.

"Hi. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," the stranger said, sounding dazed.

She met Evelynn's eyes.

And she turned bright red, burying her face into Ppopgi's shoulder.

"No, I'm not fine!" she shouted. "This isn't how this is supposed to happen! You caught me on a really bad day, I'm so sorry. I'm all sweaty from running, and, and I just started my new job and it's stressing me out, my soul marks have been acting crazy, and it's laundry day so I'm wearing something really dorky, and—!"

Tilting her head to the side, Evelynn could barely make out the design on the stranger's shirt. "It's not dorky. I like Pentakill, too."

Not able to follow along, Ahri made a noise when she heard one familiar word out of all the English.

"Why are you talking about Pentakill?" she said in Korean, pulling Evelynn down to whisper into her ear. "Get it together and ask her for her name!"

"She's freaking out right now, I'm trying to be gentle," Evelynn explained. "Shit. I never thought I'd have to play translator for my own soul mate."

"Um, I can understand you," the stranger said, also in Korean. Finally, she got up to her feet and started dusting herself off. Ppopgi forced her head under the stranger's hand, demanding to be pet even now.

She took a deep breath.

"My name is Kai'sa. And I guess...I'm..." her eyes flickered from one woman to the other, cheeks still pink with embarrassment. "Your soul mate?"

"Just be cool, Ahri, be cool."

Ahri kept repeating it to herself. She repeated it all morning as they got ready for work. She muttered it on the train, low enough that only Evelynn could hear. She sang it as she got dressed in the evening, a growing pile of discarded dresses on the bed as she tried to decide on one.

"Just be cool, Ahri," she said to her reflection, holding up a pair of earrings to see if it matched her outfit. "Be cool."

"Be cool Ahri," she muttered until Evelynn told her to stop, because she was applying Ahri's lipstick and didn't want to mess it up.

"Be cool!" she squeaked as they got off the train that evening and walked to Kai'sa's apartment. "Be cool!"

"Ahri," Evelynn finally said, her patience shredded paper-thin.

Ahri whirled on her. "What?!"

"...I need to double check the directions," Evelynn answered. "Are we headed the right way?"

Ahri took a moment, letting the words register. "Oh. U-uh, I think so." With shaking hands, she pulled her cell phone out of her purse and checked. "Yes, we'll be there in five minutes."

All the blood drained from her face, once the words sunk in.

"Ahri," Evelynn said warningly, but it was too late.

"I can't do this." Ahri turned around and tried to run back to the train station, but Evelynn grabbed her by the elbow and started dragging her along. "Agh! Evelynn, no! I can't do this!"

"You made me promise to not let you wriggle out of this," Evelynn reminded her. "Relax. We're just meeting our soul mate for dinner, not marrying her. It'll be totally painless."

Ahri's hands flailed. "But what if she doesn't like me? What if she thinks I'm boring? What if she, what if she's decided that my animal is a predator so that means I'm a serial killer?"

"Mine is a predator, too?" Evelynn's forehead wrinkled.

"Okay, but— "

Evelynn dragged her the rest of the way, no matter how hard she dug her heels in. Once they stood in front of Kai'sa's apartment, Ahri stared at the door and vibrated in place. But eventually, she was the one who reached out and knocked first.

"Coming!" Kai'sa called from inside. "Just a second!"

"Do I look okay?" Ahri whispered as they waited.

Evelynn took her hand, squeezing it. "You look beautiful."

"You always say that. You're my wife, you're biased."

She couldn't fight down the flicker of irritation that bloomed in her. "Then why bother asking me?"

"Because— oh!"

The door opened, and Kai'sa welcomed them inside.

"Hello! It's so nice to see you again." Kai'sa beamed.

"And with all of us wearing real clothes," Evelynn agreed, intending to tease, but not expecting Kai'sa to turn bright red. Interesting. Taking off her shoes, Evelynn peeked further inside to see a minimalist apartment, the walls covered with black and white photography.

Stiff and robotic, Ahri held up a bouquet of lilies. "These... these.... theseareforyou."

Those were the first and last words Ahri said for a solid hour. After finding a vase for the flowers, they got to know each other better. Kai'sa and Evelynn slowly felt each other out, sharing the stories of how they found their soul marks. Dinner was a blend of South African and Korean cuisine, and Kai'sa cracked open a few bottles of local beer to go along with it. She served them both, and Ahri finally managed to squeak out thank you.

Evelynn didn't know what had gotten into her wife. Shy was the last word she'd ever use to describe Ahri, and it wasn't as though she dreaded meeting their soul mate. She'd been so excited she couldn't sleep. Now however, faced with the reality of it, Ahri looked like she was going through years of panic in the space of a single evening.

Evelynn was suddenly glad she's taken her time coming to terms with the idea, because Ahri clearly still had some hangups.

"Let me take that," Ahri offered, gathering up the dishes and taking them to the sink before Kai'sa could even say anything.

Their soul mate— that was still a fun phrase to think about— looked after her with concern. With a polite smile to Evelynn, she got up as well and went to help her. Rubbing her forehead with the back of one hand, Evelynn just finished her drink in peace, listening to the two of them awkwardly try to talk.

"You really don't need to," Kai'sa said from the kitchen, faint over the sound of running water.

"Well, you cooked." She hated hearing Ahri sound so small. "Usually when Eve cooks, I'll clean. And vice versa."

"But I wanted to take care of you."

The water hissed, small clinking sounds of bowls and spoons and chopsticks drowning out anything else. If they said anything else at all, that is. Evelynn had a feeling they didn't until her wife curiously ventured out, "Where did you get that photo?"

Evelynn paused in the middle of pouring herself another drink, listening closer now.

"This one?" She head a faint thump, a tap of something hitting the wall. "My dad took it. He was into cinema, too."

"It's really good. Do you know what kind of camera he used?" The sink turned off, and their voices rang out much clearer. Something shredded between them, finally something in common that they were comfortable talking about, something not too personal but still opened the door.

"I don't, unfortunately." Kai'sa sounded genuinely disappointed. "Do you like photography?"

"I love it!" Even if she couldn't see her, Evelynn could hear the smile in Ahri's voice. "It's kind of how I got my job, though I don't actually take as many photos as I used to. Right now it's a lot of managing other people's photos for the magazine."

Kai'sa hummed with interest. "Which magazine? Maybe I read it!"

She finally laughed, her relief tangible. "Maybe!"

Ahri started talking about her job as a photo editor and art director, how her job pulled her twelve different ways at once. Fashion and beauty were her life, ephemeral and constantly changing, always challenging her, but also bringing a lot of joy.

"I'm a gremlin," Kai'sa was lamenting. "I work freelance from home. So I lock myself up in a dark cave twelve hours a day and don't have any time to make friends."

Gathering up the beer cans, Evelynn finally dared go in there to interrupt them. She needed to know where the recycling bin was, and now that the ice had melted a bit, maybe all three of them could enjoy a normal conversation. It figured Ahri just needed some time alone to be comfortable with Kai'sa. Ahri worked best when talking one-on-one with a new client. Getting to know her soul mate must have operated on basically the same level.

So Evelynn walked into the kitchen, catching another snippet of conversation—

"That doesn't have to be true anymore," Ahri said. Evelynn's eyes dropped down to see her wife taking Kai'sa's hand in both of hers. "I know this is all happening really fast, but I'm so excited to finally meet you. I can't wait to spend more time with you."

She squeezed Kai'sa's hand, her expression earnest and open.

And Kai'sa looked like the words broke her, leaving her in absolute agony.

"I can't wait anymore, either."

So Kai'sa leaned down, and kissed her so hard she nearly bent Ahri over the kitchen counter.

A shocked moan left Ahri's lips. The sound sent a frisson of electricity down the back of Evelynn's neck, and again when she saw Kai'sa's tongue work into Ahri's open mouth, flashing red and wet. They clung to each other, airtight. Ahri responded eagerly; her hands vanished underneath Kai'sa's dress to pull her onto her thigh.

Their chemistry was red-hot, undeniable even just as an observer. Evelynn could feel it like a bonfire, blazing wide enough to make her squint, the flames licking her face. They were already moving together, Kai'sa's hips rolling as she rocked onto Ahri's thigh, gasping into her mouth.

Evelynn's grip tightened, aluminium crumpling in her hands. Loud as a gunshot compared to the sounds of the two women quietly, frantically trying to fuck each other.

They both froze, heads twitching towards the intrusion. Ahri was glassy-eyed, lips wet and face flushed. But Kai'sa just studied Evelynn, unreadable and waiting.

"Don't mind me," Evelynn said. Or she tried to say it, it felt more like a hum, a purr. Right then there was nothing she wanted more than to knead her nails into something like a pleased cat.

Catching her breath, Ahri kept Kai'sa at arm's length. "Wait, wait. Maybe we should stop."

She didn't sound like she wanted to stop, or act like it. Her hands were willfully disobedient, moving up to frame Kai'sa's collarbone, to cup her face in both hands. Kai'sa flinched at the contact before melting into the touch. She squirmed, instinct driving her to arch her hips closer until she was pressed against Ahri right where she needed her.

"I don't want to rush you." Ahri was panting now, eyes blown wide with lust. "I thought— I thought maybe you might want to take it slow."

Kai'sa tangled her hands into Ahri's long hair, holding her by the scalp. Her grip slowly tightened until she had Ahri moaning and twisting for more friction, whimpering her name.

"Ahri." Gentle, but with a longing so deep it cut Evelynn right to the bone. "I've been waiting years for you."

Trembling, Evelynn dropped everything to move closer. She kissed the base of Kai'sa's neck, sliding down the zipper on her dress. Kai'sa stepped out of it, quickly overwhelmed by Evelynn and Ahri working her between them. Any lingering hesitation melted instantly when Ahri demanded to be taken to the bedroom, her nails digging crescent moons into Evelynn's skin.

No words then, at least none that really mattered. Not until Evelynn kissed her once more and tasted tears, hot and wet.

"Don't stop," Kai'sa begged her, breath hitching on another sob. With her head between Kai'sa's thighs, Ahri's hands caged her hips, keeping her pressed flat against the mattress. Evelynn took a softer approach, kissing her gently as Ahri vented out years of longing onto Kai'sa's skin. "Oh g- god, Evelynn, please don't stop, I was so alone— so lonely—"

"Shh." Evelynn kissed her cheek, stretched out next to her. "It's okay."

Kai'sa just nodded, eyes screwed shut. Shuddering until it was all over, and there was nothing left but bliss. Left limp, bent, wrung out, their bodies seemed heavier, still as dense fog. When Kai'sa spoke, the words had to carve their way into the darkness to be heard, stroking fingers over the life lines of their palms, exhaustion bringing its own strange clarity.

"I always knew one day you'd find me."

Evelynn kept her hand on the back of Kai'sa's head, kissed her sweaty brow before tucking it against her chest. Reaching over her, she brushed Ahri's soft shoulder to reassure herself that her wife was still there, coiled around Kai'sa like she never wanted to let go.

The next morning, Evelynn woke up with the dawn. Sensing they weren't alone, she rubbed her eyes and sat up a little, not wanting to wake her soul mates. But of course the movement stirred them. Ahri always woke up early, and it seemed Kai'sa was a light sleeper.

"We have an audience," Evelynn said quietly, huffing with amusement.

Peeking over the edge of the mattress were two foxes, two snakes, and a Chinese water deer.

"Out," Kai'sa groaned, head muffled under the pillow. "Shoo!"

They all vanished, scooting off or slipping back into wherever souls went when they were at rest.

Just as Evelynn was beginning to think she needed to invest in a barn house, the soul marks stopped coming back. One by one, they sunk into the energy of the world around them. One would walk through an open doorway and not emerge on the other side. The other would sink into the shadows, yellow eyes gleaming until she blinked, and there was nothing but a vague comforting presence. She felt scales slink around her wrist, but when she looked down, nothing was there.

There were days when she missed them, when she needed the reassurance of their physical presence. The proof of her soul marks in their eyes. On those days she'd awaken covered in a pile of fur and scales and Ppopgi licking her chin. She'd stare at the ceiling and try to be annoyed, even if she was inwardly delighted.

They weren't really animals, she kept reminding herself. They weren't pets. They were a part of her, so they were never really gone. Now that Kai'sa, Evelynn, and Ahri were finally together, their souls were whole.

Their job was done. If they were needed, they'd come back.

And that should have been the end of it.

Until one morning she walked into the kitchen and there was an African bullfrog on the kitchen table.

"What," Evelynn said, stopping dead in her tracks. "Is that?!"

Kai'sa blinked, pulling her breakfast away and swallowing. "An avocado smoothie?"

"Not that." She pointed at the creature lounging on top of their table. It was a frog— but maybe that word was too generous. It was a monster. It was loathsome. It was the fattest, soggiest, roundest, ugliest little gremlin she'd ever laid her eyes on. Her temperature spiked, head pounding like it might shatter like untempered glass. "That! That thing on the table where we eat!"

"Oh, that," Kai'sa said, shrugging. "Another soul marked animal. I was waiting for you two to wake up before we talked about it."

Kai'sa reached out, grinning as she poked the frog on top of his head.

In response, the frog opened his mouth, and squealed .

In that instant, Evelynn was pretty sure her sanity cracked right in half.

"Nope," she said, snatching him up.

"Eve—" Kai'sa started, but she had already left the kitchen.

"Nope," Evelynn said, opening the front door.

She heard Ahri's voice behind her. "Ew! What is that?!"

"He's a bullfrog," Kai'sa supplied, unhelpfully.

"Nope," Evelynn said, and she deposited the animal on the ground outside her apartment, and she began to scold it. "Nope. No. Nuh-uh. Not happening. You turn your ass around right the fuck now and you hop away. I'm all full up on girlfriends, I don't need any more! Go back to the celestial bureaucracy or whoever it is that makes these decisions and you tell them to shove it—"

"Eve!" Ahri gasped behind her, absolutely scandalized once she put two and two together. "You can't talk to it that way!"

"It's my soul mark," Evelynn snapped. "I can talk to it however I like."

"Actually," Kai'sa said, poking her head out the doorway. "I think it's mine."

Moving around her wife, Ahri crouched down in front of the frog. "Hey buddy," she said, carefully picking him up. He allowed it, throat bobbing rapidly. "Aw, hey, you really are my buddy. He's definitely got my soul mark on him, Kai'sa."

"That can't be true. I saw my— " Evelynn started, then stopped. She covered her mouth with one hand, like she could prevent the truth from slipping out.

There was a fourth soul mate.

Holding the frog aloft, Evelynn tried to reason with her partners. "Look at this thing. It's repulsive. Do we even want whoever this soul belongs to?!"

"What's wrong with him?" Ahri asked. "At first glance he's a little weird, but..."

Rattling off her points, Evelynn dropped the frog onto the table and counted them off on her fingers. "He's slimy. He's ugly. He's got a smug little grin on his face. He's a frog!"

Primly, Ahri crossed her arms. "And yours was a snake, Evelynn. Don't be so quick to judge."

"Snakes are cute! And they're good luck!"

"I think frogs are cute." Kai'sa sounded defensive.

Ahri carefully bent down so that she could be on eye level with him. He squatted on the kitchen table, that big shit eating grin on his face, and Evelynn thought she might blow a gasket. When Ahri carefully picked him up, he looked even fatter and more bulbous, a big wet blister sack in her hands.

Evelynn shuddered. "We're not doing this. I don't need another soul mate!"

Concerned, Ahri and Kai'sa shared a glance. A flicker of communication shot across that short distance, both of them weighing what they wanted to say. A slight tilt of her head; Ahri bowed out to let Kai'sa take the lead.

"I know," Kai'sa said. "You're strong. Out of all of us, you've always been the one who had her head screwed on the tightest."

Suspicious of the praise, Evelynn eyed her warily. "I don't need another soul mate," she said again, firmer now, thinking she couldn't make this more clear.

"I know," she repeated her answer, softer. But then Kai'sa rested her fingertips on Evelynn's forearm, following it up with the clincher. "But Eve...what if she needs you?"

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Everything short-circuited in her brain, no doubt helped by the fact that Kai'sa was the one telling her this. Kai'sa, who had been so lonely and sad by herself while Ahri and Evelynn at least had each other. Now she was reminded that somewhere out there, a person was waiting for them.

"Fuck," Evelynn said, and she hated the blaze of triumph and delight in Kai'sa's eyes. "Okay. Fine. You win."

They set aside a portion of their savings to pay for a private investigator. After explaining the situation, they sat back and waited, getting to know their new partner by the animal fate had sent.

He was a chunky little guy, goofy-looking and strong and foul-tempered and always ready to fight. While he never openly sought affection, he was always patient when they decided to pick him up or stroke his head. He had an independent streak a mile wide, and when they couldn't find him in the apartment, he could often be spied swimming in the community pool. He was a nuisance, at best. There was no way they could give him a serious name. Not ever.

So they called him Burger.

"You're god's prank on me," Evelynn said, crouched down to be at eye level with him. "Yeah, you're a big sick joke of the universe."

Burger's throat filled up, wet eyes blinking a few times.

She had no idea what a fucking frog was supposed to teach her.

The investigator turned up empty-handed at first. Just when Evelynn resigned herself to the fact that she might have to wait years for this one, too, they got a call.

"Found her," Evelynn said, clenching her fist and shaking it in the air. "The mystery is solved! We're finding this little shit, here and now!"

"You don't know she's a little shit," Ahri protested.

Burger squealed, and Evelynn just gave her a look.

They set up a meeting via an internet chat, on a day when all three of them could be home.

The webcam opened up to a tiny apartment, the walls plastered with posters, pictures, albums, two guitars, and a cheesecake swimsuit calendar. A baseball cap filled most of her range of vision, and for a split second Evelynn wondered in horror if their soul mate was actually a thirteen year old boy.

Then Akali pulled back to frown into the lens of the camera, her chin jutted out like she was ready to start an argument already, and Evelynn knew. She recognized that glower.

"Hey," Akali said, and a bright red vixen hopped onto her lap. She was almost as beautiful as Ahri, a classic red fox with an ink-dipped, fluffy tail. She snuffled the camera curiously until Akali held her back, cuddled in her arms. As soon as she did that, though, a spiky, sinister-looking snake popped out of the hood on her jacket. He was striking in his own way, dangerous and sharp, then silly as he also tried to bump his nose against the camera. "Um, it's nice to meet you. Pickle, please get down, I only have so many hands."

The snake coiled up Akali's neck, his tongue flickering in her ear instead. She twitched, biting her lip. Almost a smile. She seemed to be fighting it.

"Oh no," Ahri murmured beside her. "She's cute."

It was awkward, in no small part due to how reluctant Akali was to speak. She didn't seem pleased by any of this, guarded and withdrawn in the face of her soul mates.

So much for needing me, Evelynn thought, a little bitterly.

"Do you, um, do you have a deer as well?" Kai'sa asked at one point, sounding shy.

That was the first time they saw Akali smile. "Yeah. One second, you'll love him."

Bending down, Akali emerged from under her desk with the smallest deer Evelynn had ever seen. She removed her keyboard to let him stand on the desk, tail fluttering as he curiously started licking the camera. He had a wriggly nose, twitching at every scent, two tiny horns, big eyes, and a little mouth that always looked like he was smiling.

"A fawn?" Evelynn asked, suddenly wondering if they had done this too fast after all. If maybe Akali needed more time to grow into this, just like she had.

But Akali shook her head. "Fully grown. He's a dik-dik antelope, this is as big as they ever get."

"That's so cute I might literally cry," Ahri said, looking ready to bite down on her own fist to keep from doing just that. "I really dig his eyeliner."

"Huh?" Akali turned the animal around to get a better look at him. "Oh! Heh, yeah, I guess he does look like he's wearing eyeliner." She stroked a finger over his face, tracing the dark marking around his eyes. "Weird question, Kai'sa, but do you like strawberries?"

Kai'sa nodded, so Akali told them to wait again and returned with a strawberry sliced up on a napkin. "He goes nuts over them," she explained, letting the dik-dik nibble on the treat. "The other two get frozen rats every now and then, when I have extra cash."

"Hold on." Evelynn leaned closer, frowning. "You feed them? You know they don't need food, right?"

That guarded expression returned, Akali's good mood hunkering down like a crouching animal. "And?"

Evelynn realized she didn't really have a point. "Nothing. Just wanted to make sure you weren't wasting any money on me."

A familiar stubborn set entered Akali's jaw. "Who gives a shit if they need it? It makes them happy, and it makes me happy to spoil them. They belong to my soul mates, and whether or not I asked for them, they came to me, so they're my responsibility. If I don't treat them right as often as I can, what does that say about me?"

Muscling past her knee-jerk assumptions, Evelynn studied Akali carefully. Slowly, it all unwound in her mind. "...It says a lot."

Piece by piece, she started to understand.

Like a flower unfurling in her, like a lock dropping to the floor, she felt the last guarded segment of her heart open up.

"Say, Akali."

Evelynn relaxed, her gentle tone making Akali lean forward to listen carefully, some of her guard dropping as well.

"...Would you like to come over for dinner next weekend?"

Look not in my eyes, for fear Thy mirror true the sight I see, And there you find your face too clear And love it and be lost like me.

—Alfred Edward Housman

#fanfiction #league of legends #KDA

138 notes · View notes

waddlesdpig · 5 years

Text

TOP COMICBOOK WRITERS OF 2018

The following is a quick write up about my personal favorite writers for 2018, spoilers and bad jokes ahead.

Wow, will you, wow, just look at, wow all that time wow. 2018 came and went like my dad after McDonald’s McRib was back in season! Tragic loss of delicious parents aside, we can’t look ahead to the new year without reviewing what the things that came before!

In this case the Top Comicbook Writers of 2018. I mean you knew this was coming, you read the title. Y-You can read the title right? Oh god all those people with Can’t-Readitis are going to be so lost!

2018 was crazy, but for comic books it was like a good crazy. Kinda like when you eat at a Chinese restaurant and find out they sell pizza, but like actual pizza. And not just in the movies, with Marvel and DC digging deep to revitalize and strengthen their IP’s, we got some of the best comics from the big two in a long while. At the center of this movement has been fresh and exciting writers taking these titles in new directions. So now being the leading authority in basement dwelling blogging hogs, i felt the need to highlight some of my favorite Comic book writers of 2018. First examining those wonderful folks at Marvel Comics.

(Side note, not only am i the world’s greatest blogging hog, i am also a huge flithy casual of the highest order and as such any of my lists for 2018 will not include any indie titles even though there be a great many fantastic non-big two comics.)

MARVEL

DONNY CATES

Whoo boy, i don’t think it’d be a exaggeration to say that Hank Hill’s next door neighbor has had a stellar year comics-wise. Coming out early in the year with the stellar “ Thanos wins” story arc that pushed the big man Grimace himself into new territory in fantastic fashion. Something that would only carry forward with his brand new OC introduced in the run, that being “ Cosmic Ghost Rider.” Which is like the regular Ghost Rider but in SPAAAAAACEEE! Suffice to say he’s a very cool character, with his spin-off title living up to the hype.

These two runs in themselves would be deserved feathers in anyones cap, however with the Marvel Fresh Start initiative, Cates provided what is the crowning achievement of his work this year. This being Venom. Without a doubt since he and superstar artist Ryan Stegman have taken over, the title has become one of the most entertaining books Marvel has been pushing out.

Cates has done a wonderful job of balancing the tone, knowing when to lean into the edge associated with the character and but also not depraving the title of brevity or more light hearted moments. This coupled with the epic reimagining of key aspects of Venom’s backstory and building to climatic moments that i hate are going to be sullied in the next Venom movie ( Dem Chinese audiences enjoying something that mildly annoys me ;-;).

In Venom however we find more than big action, grand stakes, and epic concepts, as Cates has made it a point to consider introspectively Venom and it’s host relationship with each other. At some points wholesome, at others disturbing, but always engaging and because of that it has propelled Venom to a title worthy of standing alone from it’s Spider-Man origins.

CHIP ZDARSKY

I love Spider-Man, you probably love the fashion model dating luckless webhead yourself in one way or another. Whether it’s the original Lee/Ditko comics, the 1980’s animated show, MCU movies, or this guy, one way or another Spidey has found a way to web himself into the hearts of generations of people all over the world. So i can almost guarantee you love Chip Zdarsky and you didn’t even know it. (Think about all those valentines you missed out on sending to the man!)

Chip’s run on Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man didn’t start in 2018, but it ended this year so i’m still counting it. While the first few issues were enjoyable in their own right, for me it wasn’t until Spectacular Spider-Man 6 ( #296 legacy number because Marvel never learned counting in pre-school) that things really started kicking into gear. As readers we are well aquatinted with the quipping more ridiculous side of the menace, but from issue 6 onward Chip makes it his focus to remind us that the Man matters just as much as the Spider.

He portrays Spider-Man as he should be, the everyman hero that anyone can look up too. You still got your jokes and your villains and your good times, but more than ever Chip’s Peter is willing to lift the mask and show that he just that, a man. So many times throughout the title we find Peter allowing himself to be vulnerable, not just to friends and comrades but to those who have sought his end so many times. Giving us a Peter who is a hero, not just through his heroics, but also because he is willing to look for the good in others and not afraid to empathize with those around him. And in that way Chip has given us, in many respects, the Spider-Man we’ve always known and love. And for that he has my thanks.

In addition to what will probably become a fan favorite take on Spider-Man which already warrants use of the “ Spectacular” adjective, Chip also helped bring the Fantastic Four ( or at least The Terrific Two) back into the spotlight with Marvel’s Two-in-One. ( A title name which might excite and immediately disappoint fans of Chip’s earlier work at Image.)

Marvel Two-in-One focuses on the two remaining members of the splintered Fantastic Four, primarily how the main duo deal with assumably losing the rest of their family and just how far both are willing to go to regain them. In this book particularly i feel Chip did a magnificent job exploring the character drama, you can really feel the longing and grief that these two are experiencing, but at the same time manages to balance this with fun reality jumping shenanigans that never overstay they’re welcome. All in all another incredible title that made 2018 an absolutely amazing year for Chip, with 2019 looking to be a another stellar year for him. ( Can’t wait for his run on Red Batman!)

Side note it should be no surprise that my top two Marvel writers for the year had a part in this hot spider on spider strip here.

AL EWING

BOO! Scared you? Probably not ( scary amount of cringe if anything ). Now if you want some real spookums Al Ewing is just the guy for you as 2018 saw the release of The Immortal Hulk, one of if not arguably the best comic of the last year.

The Hulk has always been a mixed bag for me, i love the premise of the character: Quiet on the streets, radioactive green giant in the sheets. There’s an inherit struggle that can make for some compelling story opportunities in the right hands. But that’s just the thin, for me personally i hadn’t read anything that spoke to that idea i have for the character. Don’t get me wrong in the 57 years of the characters existence there have been some pretty good Hulk stories. ( Some of which i’m still getting around to reading)

But none have appealed to me quite like Al Ewing and Joe Benett’s run on the title. The two masterfully has given this tale a fresh start by ironically taking the character back to his roots in the horror genre. The creative duo manage to achieve this through turning Hulk from misunderstood hero to essentially a wandering monster bent on exacting his own sense of justice on the scum of the world. This change in the status quo is excellently executed effectively through the artwork. No longer standing proud in defiance of those who would doubt him for the hero he is, Joe Benett pencils depict the hulking giant now as a grotesque monster lurking in the shadows ready for his next victim.

This would all be for nothing if not for the strong voice Al Ewing has for this title. The Immortal green bean is not scary only because he can snap you in half like a brittle wishbone, but because he instills fear with the scariest thing known to man.. emotional insecurities. (That’s right folks we got a bitter beefed up Dr.Phil serving justice up like it’s a buffet.) Not content to beat you dead, Hulk now tortures those unlucky enough to be his targets by holding up a mirror to the horrors that haunt them. This applies to more than those Hulk seeks to punish, the real genius of The Immortal Hulk isn’t that he is the thing keeping scum up at night, no it’s that he is the never ending nightmare of Bruce Banner. Throughout the run Hulk haunts Banner in showing that they’re only two half’s of the same coin. Leaving Banner and the reader with eerie thoughts that linger on whether the mad beast is right all along.

This is all too say that The Immortal Hulk is pretty dang good, your probably reading it already, if not you should probably read it. ( You know as long as you don’t have can’t-readitis) And if issue 11 is anything to go by 2019 is looking horribly wonderful for Al Ewing and the jolly green giant.

And that’s it, my top three Marvel writers for 2018. In all honesty last year was crazy for Marvel, i’m leaving out so many amazing people making their mark in the comics industry and all things considering here’s hoping we’re in store for even greater things in 2019.

#marvel #comic books #spiderman #venom #immortal hulk #shill_ler's list #McRibs are McMurder

0 notes

darkhymns-fic · 7 years

Text

Murder with a Side of Lies (Ch. 4)

Another new pocky-eating witness takes the stand, providing both Papyrus and Undyne a real challenge... As well as a chance for the great detective to show off his T.V. show trivia!

Fandom: Undertale Characters: Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Mettaton, Sans Rating: PG Chapters: 4/8 Mirror Links: AO3, FF.net Notes: The sequel to Kidnappings in the Early Evening by Sky. A fusion of detective noir fiction and courtroom drama! All stories, art, etc., related to this main story will be under the tag #undertale noir. (chrono)

Suggested courtroom music!

First Chapter Previous Chapter Next Chapter

A Dame a Dozen

After another round of honorable flexing, Aaron appeared to be quite content. The audience settled, the judge snoozed, and the prosecutor posed. Of course, this is the norm for court cases, so I don’t really need to be telling you this, do I, notepad?

Sans yawned. “court’s in session.”

Despite an unhappy reunion with some old pals, Undyne refused to let it get her down. Arms crossed, lips splayed in a fang-filled grin, confidence swelled in her chest and burst into mine.

Well… that was how we felt at the time at least. I wish I could say we never lost that feeling.

“You dorky detectives proud of yourselves, hm?” Mettaton mused.

Undyne let out a hearty laugh. “Of course! We can take on anything you throw at us!”

A noise which could only be described as pure pleasure passed through the prosecutor’s pipes. “Oh my, I do so hope that’s true, but alas, I fear otherwise!”

At the time, we had simply waved him off. While I always respected and looked up to Mettaton as a great performer, Undyne and I had an unbreakable bond of friendship! Just what could he possibly do to slow us down?

“Darling, darling, don’t be shy, you can come out now!” Mettaton murmured, motioning mildly.

“I-I-I’m coming, s-s-sorry.”

Undyne recognized that stutter instantly. Her confidence shattered.

“H-h-hi Undyne…” Alphys mumbled, attempting to make eye contact but only managing to stare at her yellow feet. “S-sorry.”

I certainly wasn’t ready for that either! Alphys wore her usual purple and black overalls filled to the brim with Mettaton flair. Although, something was off since I had last seen her. Her scales were paler than I remembered, like something had drained the color right out. Even when no one spoke, she winced in pain, rubbing her temples.

“Now now, don’t apologize, darling!” Mettaton cooed. “Please, do tell the court your name and occupation!”

The scientist appeared as if she had to think on this one. “I-I-I’m Dr. Alphys,” she stuttered. Much like Undyne, Alphys had a vice of her own. Unable to handle the pressure, she dug out a small box of candy sticks labeled ‘Pocky’ from her pockets, placing one of the chocolate sticks in her mouth. “I-I’m a scientist, obviously. I c-c-created Mettaton and he was k-k-kind enough to give me a job when he became a s-s-star.”

“Yes! And it’s a fabulous job, isn’t it? Could you ever ask for more?” Mettaton added, bathing in Alphys’ praise. “Tell the people how much you love it!”

Another wince. She held her eyes closed tight for a moment, shaking her head as if she were dizzy. “I-I do love it, y-yes…”

“Objection!” Undyne roared, slamming a fist into our desk. The outburst startled Alphys, causing her to sporadically eat her candy even faster. “Don’t force Alphys to praise you!”

“I-i-it’s all right, Undyne, really,” she tried to say, but no one was listening.

“Forcing praise? Me?” With a dignified twirl the rascally robot faced his audience. “How can I force anyone to love me when they already do?” He held out his arms and basked in their uproarious applause. I had to try my darndest not to join in! It looked like so much fun! But Undyne would probably get mad if I did.

A vein pulsed across my fishy friend’s forehead, threatening to burst! Scary! Splinters of wood exploded in every direction as she pounded her fist harder and harder into the desk. “You worthless trash bin! You’re completely blinded by that fat ego of yours! You don’t care how she feels at all!”

I frowned. Ironically, it seems I was the only one paying attention to Alphys at this point. The poor girl wanted to be anywhere else but in the middle of this. “G-g-guys…”

Another wagging finger as Mettaton reflected the insults away effortlessly. “Hmm? Some nerve calling me a trash bin when you still have spaghetti stuck to your hair.” He laughed. “Or is that just your natural hair color? Week-old spaghetti?”

Her eyelid twitched, and her lip oozed frightening dark stuff from grinding her fangs too hard. I tried my best to soothe her rage. “UNDYNE, THAT’S NOT SO BAD! I LOVE SPAGHETTI!” That only seemed to enrage her further.

She turned her head to face me and that lone eye of hers burned brighter than a gasoline fire. For once, I found myself speechless.

Fart fart fart. PPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAART!

The room went completely silent. Mettaton’s lights went out, Undyne’s rage was replaced with an inexplicable confusion, and the audience was absolutely dazed.

“heh, good ol’ whoopee cushion,” Sans laughed contently, holding his gavel above the rubber toy. “i don’t want this trial turning into a big ‘ol stinker, (heh) ok, fellas? how about we let alphys speak instead of fighting over her.”

Normally, I’d be incredibly angry at my brother for being so childish! But, that was incredibly effective! Even I couldn’t get control over Undyne! Her fiery hatred was doused once she saw her girlfriend gnawing down those candy sticks faster than a beaver hyped up on coffee.

Of course, this didn’t mean Undyne was going to apologize any time soon! “Yeah. You’re right,” she said solemnly, crossing her arms.

“GREAT JOB, YOUR MAJESTY!” I gave a thumbs-up to my bro, who in turn got me a wink back.

“Your Honor,” Undyne corrected.

“HONORABLE, YOU MEAN. I AM HONORABLE, YES I AGREE!”

“No, I mean – ngah, forget it.” She sighed. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Agreed.” The boxy bot bowed brilliantly. “Alphys, darling, if you could tell us what you know?”

Alphys let out a startled ‘meep’ once the attention was finally back on her, scattering her precious candy sticks across the floor. “O-oh, yes. Of c-c-course!” She pulled out a piece of paper with a big-headed big-eyed human on the top corner. “I-I did an analysis on the d-d-dust once the dogi brought it to me last night. According to my t-t-tests, Burgerpants’ estimated time of death should be very close to 8:30 PM.”

“HOLD IT!” I shouted, causing Alphys to jump in shock and scramble for her paper. “WOULD YOU MIND TELLING US HOW YOUR TESTS CAME TO THIS CONCLUSION MS. ALPHYS?”

Gasps and wheezes blew out of her lungs as she attempted to correct her breathing. “Y-y-yes. R-r-right.”

Undyne was concerned. “Hey, Pap, mind trying not to yell so much? She looks a bit more nervous than usual.”

I nodded. I’d try my best at least?!

Deep breaths. Alphys nodded to herself and continued, “T-t-to put it simply, I test the dust’s t-t-t-temperature. Based on how warm or cold it is; I can p-p-pretty much accurately find out the monster’s time of death. When I received B-B-Burgerpants’ dust later that night, I noticed straight away how w-w-warm it still was. He c-c-clearly had fallen down quite recently.”

“INTERESTING!” I mused. Undyne glared. I coughed and tried to clear my non-existent throat. (It’s very therapeutic even if I don’t have one!) “Interesting. What about the rain? Wouldn’t that have messed up your calculations?” Boy, I had to really really strain my voice just to keep it this low!

She shook her head. “I a-a-accounted for the rain, don’t worry. Even with all that, it was still quite w-w-warm.”

“To add on to that,” Mettaton interrupted, tossing a handful of glamorous glitter our way. “Catty was found with the burgers and the dust of our dearly deceased at almost exactly 8:30 PM as well.”

The judge was laying his skull on his arms, looking drowsy. “that’s some pretty hot evidence against the defendant.” Gah! Puns aside, he was right!

Another wag of the finger. “Oh, but that’s not all, darlings! My sweet Alphys also witnessed the deceased’s final hours!”

My eyes bulged out of their sockets at what felt like a terrible blow to our defense. Nyeh! Not that I was afraid or anything!

Alphys was positively shoveling that pocky down her throat, sweat dripping from every angle I could imagine. “Y-y-y-yes, it’s t-t-t-true. I w-w-w-was at w-w-work at the time and I s-s-saw Burgerpants l-l-l-leave at 8:00 PM. H-h-he even said he was g-g-g-g-going to meet Catty.”

“I can corroborate that,” Mettaton chimed in. “As his wonderful boss, he gladly told me that he was going to see a friend that night! I didn’t see him leave, however, but luckily I can always count on my darling Alphys!”

“HANG ON!” I yelled again, before remembering to use my quiet voice. “What’s your relationship with the victim? What was his job?”

Mettaton’s lights animated into a bright red exclamation mark. “Oh my, how silly of me! I should have mentioned this before! Burgerpants was a dear dear employee of mine. He worked in the fast food department of MTT studios. He absolutely loved his job and loved me with all his heart!” He placed a hand against his ‘forehead’ and made like he was going to faint. “Oh, my dear sweet Burgerpants! How I miss thee!”

Call me crazy, but I don’t think he missed thee at all!

This was quite the evidence they had against Catty! I must admit, I was floundering a bit behind the desk. Undyne was lost in thought, however, moving her cigarette carelessly between her lips.

“Ms. Alphys,” I said through strained tones. “You’re sure you saw Burgerpants that night?”

Her glasses fogged up and her breathing intensified again. I wasn’t even loud! That shouldn’t have startled her! “Y-y-yep! 8:00 PM! For s-s-sure!” She tried to give me a confident smile, but it kind of just unnerved me.

Mettaton motioned with what appeared to be a nod. “Alphys was scheduled to work till 8:00 PM that night as well, so you can be sure she’s telling the truth.”

This didn’t seem right! Alphys was extra nervous, even for her! Could she be lying about when she last saw Burgerpants? Why would she lie? Even if she was, how could I possibly prove it?

I looked over to Undyne for assistance. Who would know more about Alphys than her girlfriend, of course! But she remained strangely quiet, staring ahead, deep in thought again. “UNDYNE!” I whisper-yelled, breaking her out of the trance. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS?”

She frowned, unable to keep eye contact with me. “I might. But…”

“BUT WHAT? THE UNDYNE I KNOW WOULD NEVER HESITATE!”

A few blinks. Undyne kept her voice low. “I don’t know. Alphys is already so stressed, you know? She looks sick with it even. I don’t want to embarrass her or anything,” she sighed. “Like I did with Dogamy and Dogaressa.”

Ah, of course. Undyne was a fierce warrior, but she’d never hurt her friends! On purpose, that is. Well, maybe a little on purpose, but usually only with physical violence.

“CATTY IS DEPENDING ON US, THOUGH!” I argued. “WE PROMISED WE’D HELP HER! YOU DON’T WANT SOMEONE TO GET FALSELY ACCUSED IF YOU KNOW SOMETHING, RIGHT? IMAGINE IF I GAVE SOMEONE A PLATE OF SPAGHETTI AND I KNEW IT WASN’T ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS! THAT WOULD BE WRONG!”

She thought on that for a moment. “I’m not so sure about that analogy, but I guess you’re right.” Undyne clenched her fist. “Justice needs to be delivered.” Just like my delicious spaghetti! Justghetti! Oh! I’m keeping that one!

“Tick, tock, darlings!” Mettaton mimed a watch on his hand. “Or have you finally given up?”

“We’ll never give up,” Undyne grinned, eye flaring with a magical light. “Alphys.”

The mousy lizard flinched at that. “Y-y-yes, Undyne?”

My fishy friend calmly placed her palm down on the battered desk. “You say you saw Burgerpants leave work at 8:00 PM last night. Sunday, wasn’t it?”

Pant. Wheeze. Alphys was sweating more bullets than a machine gun. “Y-y-yep! Sunday at 8:00 PM!”

“I have a hard time believing that.” Undyne’s eye was sharper than her spears.

Alphys laughed, but it was a high-pitched laughter. “W-w-why would you think that?”

Her words were slow. Deliberate. “Game of Bones. I know you’ve heard of it. It airs new episodes every Sunday at 8:00 PM.”

Oh! Game of Bones! I loved that show! It was about skeletons living in medieval times, fighting for a chance to sit on the Bone Throne! The show is filled with betrayal, twists, and steamy romances! I never miss it myself.

Judging by Alphys’ reaction, she appeared to be quite the fan, too! Her eyes lit up for but a moment at the mention of the name, ready to gush. “S-s-sure! I l-like Game of Bones! S-so what?”

Undyne frowned and pointed an accusing spear her way. “I watch it with you every week! You’d never miss even a second of it, no matter what!”

Wowie! What a twisting attack! But, this didn’t have the effect on Alphys that I thought it would! She didn’t get nervous at all! In fact, her face crinkled up in what looked to be anger.

A pocky stick in her grip crumbled to dust in her claws. “Y-yeah?! W-w-what do you know! You weren’t with me t-t-this week!”

I don’t think Undyne was ready for that either. The counter attack nearly knocked her off her feet, leaving her stunned. Now that I think about it, Sunday night was the time Undyne was sad and missing from work. I guess she was avoiding Alphys during that time as well.

A fit of loud clapping brought all our attentions back to Mettaton who’s lights blinked with distraught. “There’s a problem with your little theory, darling. First of all,” he held up one finger. “Alphys would never ditch work like that!” He held up two fingers. “Second of all, why wouldn’t she just record the show to watch later?”

Alphys was nodded angrily, chomping into her pocky with an aggression that could only be matched by her girlfriend. “Y-y-yeah!”

A flick of the wrist, so lax and so simple, and their attacks were deflected. Undyne’s grin was wild, untamed, as if she were in the heat of real battle. “If I’m understanding correctly, you should have had no time to watch Game of Bones yet, right Alphys? You must have been working with Mettaton on those tests non-stop.”

Metal screeched and hissed inside his chassis. “Of course she was working with me, darling,” the words were spit out like battery acid. “Alphys is a hard worker and would do anything for me. The only shows that could possibly make her slack off would be my own!”

Alphys nodded, but her anger had tensed. Her armor cracked. Clear to all, especially Undyne. “I-I-I was planning to watch it after the trial was over!”

Mettaton’s lights blinked way too brightly. His glitter-filled gloves gripped and grappled his desk with such a grievous force. “Exactly, darling, and there’s no way you could prove she watched it!” He cheered and posed for the audience, but it was stiff and angry. Undyne had gotten under his plated skin.

Undyne’s words were as smooth as water, as still as a light brook in the forest. “You’re gonna have to try a little harder than THAT.”

A short circuit. A skull and cross bones animated itself over Mettaton’s body, blinking blood red. No one was supposed to outdo him! No one could steal the show from him! “You! You’re just bluffing! A cheap bluff, too! No one should be falling for this amateur act!” Wowie! I think steam was literally whistling out of his body?

His words were nothing but a cool breeze to her. In fact, Undyne appeared to enjoy it. “Oh, Papyrus!” she called out politely.

Oh yeah! I’m here! Wowie, I was so enthralled in their battle, I completely forgot! “YES, UNDYNE?”

She faced me, but her eye was locked on Alphys. “Can you tell me what your favorite part of Game of Bones was last night?”

Before I could even think to speak, a shrill “S-S-stop! Spoilers!” rang out. If I had any ears, I’m sure they would be ringing after that.

Alphys fell right into Undyne’s trap, and both knew it all too well. Still, neither planned to give up. Mettaton, however, was left out, and furious about that fact.

“But, I need to prove a point here, Alphys,” Undyne cooed almost sarcastically. “A few spoilers to prove you’re not lying in a court of law shouldn’t be so bad, right?”

“yeah, considering this is a murder case and all, i’d say a few show details wouldn’t spoil the case,” Sans added. “i’ll allow it.”

Mettaton’s fingers twitched and clenched at the edge of his desk, ready to throw the entire thing in a fit of anger. “Alphys, darling,” his voice was spiking and crackling. “It’s just some stupid show. I’m not even in it! It can’t be that important!”

The pocky must have been consumed by the pound at this point. In her haste, she bit her finger on accident and screeched. “F-f-fine! I-it’s just a d-d-dumb show! I-I don’t care!”

I could swear that Undyne had a heroic wind blowing through her hair somehow. “Go, ahead, Papyrus! Tell us about some of your favorite scenes last night!” The wind stopped howling for a moment. “But, uh, a bit quietly please. For Alphys.”

Oh boy! Well, there was so much! Where to even start? Game of Bones was one of my favorite shows!

“It was all so perfect!” I started, really trying to contain my voice. Even just those words caused Alphys to cringe, but I haven’t the foggiest idea what was so wrong with that. “Tybia Boneister was great! Sure, he was small, but using his intellect and cunning, he was able to escape out of all sorts of sticky situations!”

“yeah, that guy’s my favorite.” Sans winked.

“Oh, and then there was Jon Bone!” I went on, remembering. “He got into some antics with a girl skeleton and she kept saying ‘You know something, Jon Bone? I really like you!’ Boy, was that funny!”

Alphys was breathing heavily. Her glasses were completely fogged up now, keeping her eyes hidden from all of us.

“I know it’s hard to believe, that I, The Great Papyrus, might weep, but when Bonesis sacrificed his favorite toy so that he could win the baseball game…” I sniffled. Just thinking about it gets me feeling like jelly! “I cried! The writing was so beautiful! To think he still lost that game… I was so sad!”

Alphys held up a finger like she was about to halt me. She mumbled something to herself and shook her head. Mumbled a few more words. Shook her head more. She nodded. Was she having an argument with herself? I hoped she was okay. Undyne urged me to keep going, but I was starting to fear for Alphys’ safety.

“Then there was this part with Sir Bony Stan! Oh! We finally got to see him use his mythical karate chop slams!” I mimicked the fight to the best of my ability, and it was amazing, of course. Everyone was impressed. “The end of it though…” I know I was given the okay to spoil it, but I didn’t want to. “Well, let’s just say it was a great fight and ended perfectly!”

Something cracked. Eh? Glass crunching? Or the sawing of wood? What was-

“NO! NO! NO, NO NO! IT WAS SO STUPID!” the voice screamed. Alphys?! “It was completely different in the manga! Sir Bony Stan was the best karate fighter in the entire Game of Bones universe! How did he get beaten by a bunch of fat untrained rich guys like that?”

I faltered. “W-WELL HE WAS SURROUNDED--”

Alphys slammed a claw down on the podium, breaking it in half. “Surrounded?! So what!? The greatest karate master shouldn’t have gotten into a situation where he was surrounded!” Her words exploded out of her lungs clearly and passionately. “In the manga, he was able to get SIX homeruns in a row, without even using a bat! Just by using his karate alone!”

“O-OH. W-WELL I DIDN’T READ THE MANGA SO--”

Alphys huffed. “Of course you didn’t read the manga! I could crush my glasses on the floor and I’d still be able to see you didn’t read the manga!”

“I-I DIDN’T--”

The scientist didn’t stop there. “Ugh! Bonesis would never sacrifice his favorite toy either! That’s not canon at all! It was so dumb! He loved that toy! In the manga at least, but clearly the show doesn’t care about its plot anymore if last night’s episode is anything to go on!”

The rants went on for about five or ten minutes. I chose to leave that part out because Alphys started using some language that I refuse to repeat! Even Undyne looked a little scared, but also proud?

Once she had gone through the entire episode in extraordinary detail and told us why parts of it were terrible, the little lizard finally returned to her original form. The silence was so thick and uncomfortable I could taste it. Tasted like instant noodles?

Mettaton had shut down during the rant. His lights slowly flickered back to life once he realized the torture was over. “Alphys,” Mettaton mumbled meagerly. He reached out towards the heavens as if the gods themselves unfairly tortured his soul. “Alphys, darling, you’ve killed me.”

Well, that was a bit overdramatic, even for Mettaton! But, was he really acting anymore?

“S-s-sorry…” Alphys stuttered out through heaving breaths, rubbing her temples. The poor girl drifted back and forth in a woozy rhythm, leaning against the splintered and battered podium. “I-I… I shouldn’t have lied to you, Undyne.” The fishy girl frowned. “Or to you, Mettaton.” The confident computer blinked silently. “I s-s-shouldn’t have lied to anyone.”

The room was still. Neither side could find what to say. Only Alphys could continue. “I-I’ve been so stressed lately.” She kept her eyes to the ground. “I-I’ve had more work on the side than just for you, Mettaton.” He didn’t pose, he didn’t reply in a sassy tone, he simply listened. “And I knew Undyne was going through a t-t-tough time too. I-I didn’t want to be selfish. I wanted to be s-strong for everyone.”

“Alphys,” Undyne said reflexively.

“No, no,” Alphys shook her head. “I-I won’t pretend it was a good excuse to lie. My testimony should be inadmissible.” She sighed heavily. “If I’m going to be c-c-completely honest here, I don’t even know if the time of death is correct. I haven’t b-been able to rest enough, and my temperature readings just weren’t making sense.” She finally looked over to Mettaton. “I’m s-sorry. I really m-messed this up.”

A strange thing happened then.

“No, darling, I’m sorry.” Mettaton apologizing? I’ve never even seen him do that in a TV show! “I’ve overworked you and I’ve taken you for granted, haven’t I?” His voice was soothing, sweet. Real, even. “Without you, I wouldn’t even exist. I should have listened to you, I should have noticed you were struggling, but I have a hard time focusing on anything but myself, I suppose. I know it won’t mean much now, but I’m going to give you a few days off.”

Alphys must have been expecting backlash. She was surprised, but relieved to hear those words. “T-that would be really nice. Thank you, Mettaton.”

Such a touching moment! My bony heart wanted to burst! “Awwww!” the audience and I murmured in unison. Rose in hand, spotlight sparkling, Mettaton’s chassis blinked with a bright red heart over his screen. He basked in their praise a little too much.

“while i’m really glad we finally learned what’s up with the doc,” Sans chuckled. I don’t get it! “with the testimony being inadmissible and all, we’re gonna need some more evidence to prove catty meowled the victim.”

Yes! Things were going in our favor again! I just hope something doesn’t pop up at the last second and –

“Hold it! (Yeah, hold it!)” barked a couple of voices. Aw, geez. “We’ve found some new evidence at the crime scene! (Yeah, see! We’re good dogs!!)”

Tongues lolling and muzzles panting, the dogi couple scampered up onto the court stage, overshadowing Alphys’ meager form quite easily. They were running in circles, their tails wagging every which way.

Sans called them over. “what’d ya find?” he asked.

The dogi were too excitable and couldn’t stand still.

“sit,” Sans ordered casually, but with a hint of sternness.

Dogamy sat almost instantly. Dogaressa was a bit shocked but then realized she’d probably be out of a treat if she didn’t follow suit, so she sat too.

“drop it.”

They handed it over to Aaron the bailiff who handed it over to Sans.

“good dogs.”

At the sound of praise, the dogi immediately lost control of their enthusiasm again, hopping around and doing circles with each other all while still nuzzling and licking.

Mettaton was quite interested. “Well? Don’t keep us in suspense! What is it?”

Sans held the evidence in his phalanges casually, flipping the tiny pink thing through his bony fingers. The light of his eyes focused and stared. “ain’t got a clue,” he shrugged.

“It’s a nail! (A nail from that cat!)” the dogi barked. “We found it at the crime scene! (It’s pink! We had someone else check!)” Dogaressa growled her last words out, clearly not wanting to admit or remind anyone about their color-blindness.

Aww, it really was pink this time. Catty certainly seems the type to have pink nails, too. This couldn’t be good.

Sans looked over the evidence one last time. It was incredibly shiny, gaudy even. “yeah, does appear to be a nail, doesn’t it…” his words vanished as he became lost in thought.

Mettaton managed to clap his hands together quite loudly. “Y-your Honor!” A stutter? “If I might make a suggestion! I think we should take a thirty-minute break to analyze this new evidence and see where to go from here!”

Sans nodded, and suddenly the new evidence couldn’t be less important to him. With a flick of a wrist, he tossed it aside. “sure, why not? i could use another nap. any objections?” He looked our way.

As much as it pained me to not scream another loud ‘objection’ at the top of my magical lungs, I had to keep my cool! “NO OBJECTIONS, YOUR MAJESTY!”

“cool. meet back in a half-hour or whatever,” he yawned, placing his sleepy skull down into his arms.

Just what could this new evidence mean? Sure, the dogi claimed it was Catty’s but I had a strange feeling about it. Undyne agreed with me. Even Mettaton was particularly panicky!

Oh! Where did Alphys go?

She must have left when no one was looking.

#undertale #papyrus #undyne #alphys #mettaton #sans #fanfiction #multi chapter #undertale noir #sky's fics

1 note · View note