#and i guess its me? that it's kind of a me problem

[ode2rin]

new boyfriend rin would never ever, under any circumstance, admit that he likes the pet names you call him. well… unless you would stop doing it. (also me pushing the bffs to lovers pipeline)

You must be upset with him, Rin is convinced so. It’s the only logical and sensible explanation behind this unusual behavior. 

And he's going mad about it. Itoshi Rin is going mad any second now if he can't get to the bottom of this, he’s certainly convinced.

Every instinct screamed that your recent behavior was a reaction to something he'd done, but what? Was it the late replies to your text messages? No, you knew he was at practice and you told him you didn’t mind. Was it about the souvenir he brought back home to you from Paris? Sure, you teased him about its impracticality, but nothing that warranted this icy distance.

Or maybe it was something he said now? It must be, right? Everything boils down to his reckless poor choice of words, he supposes.

Slowly, Rin approached you by the couch you’re seated in. With your attention preoccupied by the selection of shows you’re browsing, you settled on looking at him briefly through your peripheral vision. Amused by how he’s slightly tiptoeing around, you let out a half-suppressed laugh to yourself. 

He looks like a cat sometimes, you thought from the sight. And acts like one too. Like a big black cat who would hiss at you if you looked at him funny, or one that would bite your hand if you stopped petting him to sleep. Funny how Rin could be like that too.

The moment Rin settles into the plush comfort of the couch, he gazes at you through lowered lashes, trying to read the play of emotions on your face, if there’s any. 

There’s nothing worth noting, and he doesn’t know if that should assure or bother him.

“Are we… alright?” he drawled.

What the fuck. He did not just sound like that. 

He did not just ask that and sounded like an anxious pathetic wet cat who just had a new home waiting for its owner’s permission over anything (highly specific because he’s a bit dramatic). Just what kind of loser have you reduced him into, really.

Oblivious of the internal turmoil in Rin’s mind, you turn to him, “Hmm? Yeah? Why’d you ask?”

“Nothing,” he grumbled. It’s enough that he already humiliated himself for the way he asked if the two of you were cool— doing it again by exposing himself that he thinks you’re mad plainly because he hadn’t heard you call him a pet name (like you always do) would be mortification in its final form.

“Okay, Rin.”

That’s it. This needs to end. Forget humiliation. He would rather choose to feel pathetic over any day than continue with this charade.

“Are you mad at me?” 

“Why would you think that?” you asked back instantly, shocked and extremely confused because of your boyfriend’s question. You’re literally just looking for a movie the two of you can watch— how is that any indication of being mad at him?

“Just answer the question,” he fumed, impatience settling on the furrow of his brows.

You said in the beginning of your relationship that you didn’t appreciate the silent treatment and guessing games, so don’t you think it’s hypocritical of you to do the same to him? (You’re not, but he just doesn’t know that.)

“I’m not mad at you, Rin.”

“You so are!” 

“I am not! But you, yelling and instigating it are making me right now!” you countered, voice hinted with irritation, “What is your problem, Rin?”

There it is again. Rin rose from the couch to face your sitting form, as if standing would better prove his point. “See? You’re calling me Rin!” he blurted.

“Well, maybe because it’s your name?!”

“Not to you, it’s not!”

A beat of surprised silence. Until your lips grew to such a wide smile that made Rin physically feel his heart melting. 

Yet, in Rin’s true fashion, he’ll never let you know how much air you knock out of him because of your beaming smile. Instead, he’ll say something along the snarky lines of, “Stop smiling like that.”

“Did my big bad grumpy Rinnie here thought we’re on a fight because I hadn’t call him baby?” you ask, purposely stressing out the words to disarm him more.

With a feigned exasperation, he comments, “I forgot how annoying you are.” 

“And I forgot how childish you can get sometimes,” you countered.

“I’m not childish.”

“You don’t mind me calling you Rin then?”

Rin rolled his eyes at you, but you know better than to put meaning to it. He lowered himself onto the couch beside you. With a swift tug, Rin pulled you closer, closing the distance between you effortlessly. His arm found its way around your waist, drawing you snugly against his chest.

“But I don’t see why you need to…” Maybe he could be a bit childish.

“I thought you didn’t like it,” you shyly muttered, drawing shapes in his arm. “The pet names, I mean,” you clarified, sensing the confused look he’s probably giving you behind.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He is baby. He is Rinnie. Fucking hell, that’s so loser of him to even voice it out in his own mind. 

“What? You call me by my name!” you defensively pointed out.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t like your nicknames of me,” he mumbled, the words barely audible.

The pet names— they were more than what they served. It was important to him more than what he would admit. 

They were a secret language, a way you marked him as yours. A reminder that he wasn't just Rin anymore— just your friend.

He was now something more, something special.

A ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Besides… I love your name,” he whispered, his voice velvet against your hair.

It’s tender— no, it makes him tender. Saying your name has been the softest, kindest, and most tender way he’s used his words for. 

Maybe it’s a little pathetic, feeling this undone by a name. But then it’s you. 

It was your name— a name he could whisper with adoration, a name that belonged only to him to claim. 

You melt to his words, leaning deeper into his chest. A contented sigh escaped your lips, the sound swallowed by the warmth of his embrace.

Looking up at him, your eyes held a softness he often found himself getting lost in, “I love your name too, but I also like calling you pet names. Is it okay?”

“Whatever you decide.” He’s yours, either way.

note. this is basically rin being "my nameeee is whatever you decideeeee and i'm just gonna call you mineeee i'm insane but i'm your baby!!!!" yeah that song basically.

#☁️ my ode to you #i have more drabbles like this i am fucking insane about him #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi rin x y/n #blue lock x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock fluff #bllk x reader #bllk imagines #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi

[pukanavis]

Fuyume Hanamura Idol Story 1

ーThe Yumenosaki Academy library, two years since the establishment of ES.

Fuyume: Excuse me?

Are there any fairy tales here…?

Oh, the shelf over there is the section for picture books and stuff?

Thank you for your help.

~...♪

(Ah, she was right. Yume recognises a bunch of the books over here.)

(They’ve got a good selection to choose from but the categorising is a mess. They’re just randomly thrown onto the shelf without any care for alphabetical order or release date.)

(Oh well…apparently no one has any love for fairy tales…)

(‘The Little Mermaid, ‘Momotaro’, ‘Tale of The Bamboo-Cutter’, ‘Snow White’, ‘Urashima Taro’, ‘Cinderella’—)

(Oh! It might not be the one Yume was looking for but he’s in the mood to read Cinderella today.)

(This story is another one that Yume adores.)

(It’s a tale about love being rewarded.)

…♪

Fuyume: …? Hm? Oh, uhm, you’re that nice person from earlier—did you need something?

You were so kind to Yume earlier, so he’d be happy to give you some company.

Huh? The Yumenosaki Academy library is off-limits to anyone that doesn’t work for or attend the school?

How could you tell that Yume isn’t a student here?

Ooh, cause Yume isn’t wearing the uniform…?

That makes sense…no biggie, Yume will be sure to wear the school uniform next time.

Yume is really good at sewing, so it won’t be a problem…fufu ♪

Huh? That’s not the issue?

Yume doesn't like anything you’re saying right now.

Here he was thinking you were a nice person.

Fuyume: Huh? Yume’s name is Fuyume Hanamura.

And you are? …Anzu-san? You’re a graduate of Yumenosaki?

You’re here at your old school to do some producer work, huh? It made you feel nostalgic so you’ve been walking around the grounds…? 

Oh, is that the case? Hmm…♪

Then, aren’t you and Yume in the same boat? Yume goes to a middle school separate from Yumenosaki and you’ve already graduated…right?

It sounds like neither of us are allowed to be here.

Let's work together then, okay? If you pretend you never saw Yume, he won’t go around yelling, ‘There’s a trespasser in here!’ …♪

What do they call it? A contract, business, bargaining? Let’s do something like that…♪

If you’re willing to comply, Yume will leave you be. He isn't particularly interested in you anyway.

Yume is just here to read some fairy tales.

…♪

Fuyume: Huh? Did you need something else? You want to know what Yume is reading?

Ehehe, you’re interested in fairy tales? Sounds like we can get along.

Ehehehehehe. Yume is just reading a picture book about the massively popular princess, Cinderella. Though, he actually wanted to read something else. 

Maybe you’ve heard of it? For some reason, no one in Japan knows about it—it’s a fairy tale about an amethyst. 

Even if you don’t know the story, maybe you’ve heard this quote before?

—”The amethyst broke into pieces.”

Fufu. I guess you haven’t heard of it. Oh well.

Basically, it’s a story about an ordinary girl that comes across an amethyst that can grant any wish that she desires.

In fact, she actually fuses with the amethyst and becomes a crystalised-human of sorts.

It’s a curse put on her by an evil witch…ehehehehe ♪

The plot is kinda similar to ‘The Happy Prince’. Actually, something like ‘Arabian Nights’ or ‘The Monkey’s Paw’ might be a better match.

After transforming into the wish-granting amethyst, the girl wishes for her crush to pay attention to her, or to become better friends with people—

With each little wish she makes, the amethyst uses its power and gradually begins to crack—

Aah…♪ Eventually, her body becomes so fractured that it crumbles away and she loses all of the love and friends that she had been granted.

Her loved ones view her like a monster and chase her away in fear.

After everything, the final wish she makes is—

Fuyume: —Ah, wait, Yume thinks you should read it for yourself to find out what happens next. Spoilers are a crime!

Ehehe. If there’s one thing Yume can say, it’s that he empathises with the amethyst girl and even admires her.

At the end of it all, the final remaining piece of her—

Becomes a ring that showers the wedding between her best friend and the one she loved in joy.

After everything, her final wish is—wait, oops, Yume just realised how much he’s spoiling. He’s really really sorry.

You don’t mind? Really? You’re super kind, you know?

Ehehe. You see, Yume shares the same wish as the girl who became a ring.

—-“I wish for your life to be full of joy.”

During her final moments, the girl whose selfish asks led her to break apart used her last wish to bring someone else happiness. 

Ehehe. Yume doesn’t have the power to grant wishes but he’ll do everything he can to achieve that too.

For example, Esu goes to Yumenosaki so Yume snuck in to watch over him in secret.

Huh? Does Yume love Esu?

It depends how you define ‘love’ but yep, Yume loves Esu.

But it's sad, isn't it? The reality we live in isn’t a fairytale.

—The amethyst already shattered long ago.

#Fuyume Hanamura #enstars translation #Ensemble Stars #4piece

[thecherrygod]

/

#my posts #you know how this usually goes #i make an amount of tags so that if you read this its bc you've clicked and its not bc i am just posting it like whatever lmao #... unsure if i should even post it tho but what else do i do just leave it in my brain? idk maybe its the same maybe its better #maybe its worse? .... why have i been feeling kind of like this and at this kind of intensity for like about 2 weeks or more #2 weeks is how long ive been properly aware so i think its more but like. man. #like maybe its been like a month and i just havent been keeping track of time bc january is way too long to even try lmao #. but. idk. i just wish i could be kinda.. stable. like i cant feel good lmao #like it truly doesn't matter nothing is good enough in general #what i do isnt good enough #what goes on around me doesnt help trying to ignore the constant.. dread? #and like all things considered i should be doing good currently #or at least not this bad #but here i am constantly trying to not let myself feel too bad until im alone bc man. #so... yeah it just doesnt feel like anything is truly worth it not me as a person nor the things i do nor the things i experience lmao #also lately ive been just feeling more..... disconnected to others... like i dont understand them and they dont understand me #but like.. more than usual #and i guess its me? that it's kind of a me problem #idk I'm just tired. i need to sleep. i want to let face down on some sort of big water body or do something that will make my life worse #or they i will regret lmao #i. wont do any of those #also when i mean face down in some sort of bldy of water or whatever i dont necessarily mean like die #not against it but its not the only option #just lay there and float..... also not against it #i just want something that i cant have i guess bc im not sure what it is #like i just know what i want is to not constantly feel like this but idk how lmao #... u would sleep if i can bc man also I'm so tired #.... adding tags its a bit worse than I assumed lmao im also thinking about wether i deserve stuff or not lmao #like it got windy and cooler and i was like 'a blanket by my legs would be nice' only to be like 'no you don't deserve that ' like ah yeah #its kinda worse than i thought lmao

[puppyeared]

adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes

#my meds stopped working and i didnt know thats something that can fucking happen apparently??? #like i knew eventually my body can get used to medicine that the effect kind of dulls but for some reason this time around i thought #that my body just decided to become lazier since the meds were already working anyway. cuz thats the thing as soon as smth is made #easier for me even if its the thing thats supposed to make the disability less disabling i get too relaxed and end up fucking up anyway #so i assumed my fucking cells worked the same way LMAO. they still technically work like i can feel my energy spike when it kicks in #but everything else like focus and memory went down and i thought oh so its just a me problem then. my habits are getting worse #even though ive been doing everything the same like setting reminders checking my schedule. hell ive been setting MORE reminders #to make up for the memory thing and i didnt even realize i just knew i had to compensate since it feels like my memory is getting #worse again. and i only figured this out bc my brother showed me an icecreamsandwich video with him talking about the EXACT FUCKING #THING IM GOING THRU WORD FOR WORD #i have to bring this up with my doctor next week so maybe i have to take different meds. i wonder if this will be a recurring thing #i guess one thing that hasnt changed is that im still slow as hell and stuff only comes to me 5 hours after the fact #its 6 in the morning and i only JUST realized that the word froyo is probably short for frozen yogurt #yapping #adhd

[rpfisfine]

also im so sorry guys but im gonna be honest i can't do the discord no matter how small and awesome it is and how much i had honestly thought i would be able to handle it and how much i genuinely like and enjoy you guys my ancient mind just wasn't able to withstand it i might check out what you guys are up to and maybe liveblog with you over there every once in a while but overall im just gonna be here on tumblr i think but i am really really happy all of you are having fun and i love you

#(filing my toenails) its not you guys its me.....theres some kind of problem in my mind i think #mp #i just always second guess everything i write and say and feel like a giant moron and overall im just used to expressing my dope mind #here

[literalfuckingfreak]

also while im on it i dont care how magic a character is not everyone needs to have colored eyes. its like. fine to give people dark brown/ black eyes even if theyre "magical" or some shit.

#like i get it but #idk this is a problem i have with magnus fans mostly #like outside of the fact that i dont like giving poc characters european features for no fucking reason #the whole point of it is that you CANT tell that hes Fucked Up just by looking at him #and mfs are out here like :) actually he has neon green eyes #FREE ME. sorry. #only character i accept as having weird eyss is elias #bc . look at him. or jonah i guess cuz its his eyes but #elias is supposed to have a creepy ass stare. #and anyway point is i feel like you can have that with jon but iirc he doesnt have the same powers as elias?its a different kind of eye shi #OH yeah. u can have that with jon too without needing to make him have colored eyes. idk i dont really care i dont actually interact #with magnus fandom outside of elias shit anymore generally #i think the point i was trying to make earlier was it makes sense for elias to have his creepy grey eyes because he SEES like actually sees #and jons (I AM LIKELY VERY WRONG. I DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT TMA) jons whole thing is knowing shit. yk. #feel free to correct me if you think im wrong or if i dont understand/ am misremembering canon here

[solarpunkani]

Out of queue and definitely rambly but MAN

Ok last reblog (I’m on mobile so too lazy to add links) mentioned Solarpunk being more about settling down in a location whereas Lunarpunk is more nomadic and traveling on the water and such and

I

Got

A

Image in my head

Of a romance story. Or coming of age. Or both?

Of someone living in a solarpunk community along the shore, and someone living in a lunarpunk ocean nomadic community that stops by that shore and stays for a few days/weeks every time they come around. There’s always gardens and extra seats kept in storage for when they come around, warm beds to stay in, etc.

And these two people over time become close friends and maybe even fall for each other? But on top of the song and dance of ‘do I tell them, how to tell them, etc’ they have to also grapple with the fact that one of them stays put and the other is nomadic and their group only swings by once or twice a year on average (for a few weeks each but still)

And they gotta decide (once they finally confess to each other) what they’re gonna do. One person would miss home if they left with the nomads and their family and friends, and one person would miss traveling the seas and THEIR friends and family if they stayed put.

Idk if the solution would be to stay some years and travel others or what but thats ‘not 3am Ani’ to consider

Idk if this makes sense idk if this’ll seem like a good story idea and I SUCK ASS At writing romances (or having them hahaha *crying sounds*) but like

Yeah thats my braincell rn

#ani rambles #out of queue #story ideas #see this is fun because like #i feel like when I write stories there needs to be conflict #and in my current ones its ‘superheroes and villains and govt’ or ‘evil gods’ or ‘rebellion vs govt’ #(which I haven’t even started writing that one because I am NOT the kind of person who could depict a rebellion well) #even my solarpunk zombie story is a uh. zombie apocalypse story. #but I also always feel a twinge of guilt having Big Problems in solarpunk stories since they feel like they’re supposed to be. utopian???? #or not utopian but not the kind of stuff i usually do #corrupt govt? in solarpunk society? thats a nono #but going the fantasy route feels like its no longer solarpunk. to me. when I do it speficically #but i guess a SMALLER scale but still major CHARACTER conflict would work in a solarpunk story #idk maybe I’ll host a discussion on the aesthetic week channel about conflict and scale in solarpunk stories but for now #thats an ani ramble bye

[bylertruther]

i don't like season three when viewing it as a continuation of seasons one and two, but i do very much like season three when viewing it as the prequel to seasons four and five... hmmmmm.

#rewatching it bc i wanted to make another foreshadowing compilation post for myself regarding what will's actions will #likely be in season five re: vecna and lmao. so many things are just... it's like. it makes me laugh how In Your Face it is now #that we know all that we know. so many direct parallels both with dialogue and actions. mike/will/lucas/el foreshadowing their s4 roles. #the flaying of the holloways and the creels. the dormancy / activation shit. the building shit. the natural progression of their arcs. #the different ways that their characters approach problem solving and how we see tht reinforced by s4. it's so fascinating #genuinely i think idk it was just such a big culture shock i guess u could say from 1 and 2 that it was hard to digest on its own for me #but now that 4 is in the same vein it's like Oh. Okay. Yeah no. I get it now. That's cool. I'm forever bitter but I get it and respect it. #3 4 and 5 are a package deal considering they also said 4 was like part 1 of 5. #it also makes sense bc the point of 3 was that everyone was changing and building themselves in a new way and that #includes vecna so. just so fascinating how they link everything and how their vision is so consistent with certain plots and characters #like. the lucas max mike n will + el involvement is right there. the idea that they have to kill vecna and not just his puppets is right #there. that 2nd point starts in season two but three is where it really turns into an ''the end justifies the means'' situation #(especially for will which i think is something a lot of people overlook but—) #s3 is painful when considering their personal character arcs but fucking delicious when considering the overarching supernatural vecna plot #bc thts also when he starts his ''there is no stopping this'' shtick and actually enters the story #and he's fucking slimy lol. which i Love #anyway. omg first i defended mike in the rain fight and now i'm saying i kind of like season three who the FUCK am i!!!!! #crazy what feeling the need to defend a white boy's honor will do to you ���

[taeyungie]

😺

#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet #i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean #he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today #and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this #its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back #but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason #he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much. #he would want that for all of us right #but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus #the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months. #thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time #and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol #my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most #when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most. #but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway #i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit #i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody #because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right #and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated. #i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do. #to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him #nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it #anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓 #please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓 #we have esch other and we will be okay 💓 #sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓

[orcelito]

Salty bitch in me sooooo satisfied by the fact that I probably make more money than the person who made my life hell last year lmfaooooo

#speculation nation #chatting with a coworker about how they ended up seeing her by chance #and she Asked about me. she seemed so preoccupied with me Specifically it seems! #and she apparently mentioned how shed consider coming back here and im just loke #lmfaoooooo girl im in charge of the hiring now and there is no WAY id hire her back #even without the personal grievances. she just caused some Real problems. like hell id accept her back. #but also she was a total BITCH to me. like really fucking nasty. and yeah maybe im still holding a grudge about it! #im a chill person but when someone makes me cry that hard for that long TWICE #yeah fuckin right id hire you back. keep dreaming. #anyways ive just been hanging out at work and chatting Whoops hfkshfj #my shift ended an hour and a half ago. i really should be going home soon. #the good news is i should be able to secure the lease renewal for only $40 more than the original renewal offer #the bad news is they havent replied since sending that which means its not in writing yet #WHICH MEANS the showing is still on for tomorrow. ugh. #which means i need to clean. blegh. #i guess having the pressure to clean isnt the worst but i really dont wanna lmaooo #at least i do have tomorrow off. i can make it work... #but yea my anxiety is a lot more manageable now. tempered by the satisfaction of being better paid than an old enemy #IT'S KIND OF FUNNY to call her that but she kind of is. it was mostly 1 sided bc she took issue with Me #i was fine being friendly work acquaintances but noooo she had to go and make my life fucking hell for several months #the social atmosphere has changed man. im not letting a snake back in. #im a nice person but i am a Resentful person. if youve wronged me i am never fucking forgetting. #but yeah i make more money than her ❤️ yay ❤️

[plulp]

hey guys sorry for the radio silence (4 days) :( Im Sick

but in other news: almost at 200 followers!!!! so if any of you want me to do the same thing i did last time (maybe not as much) or something different i can to celebrate :) since i should be free to draw however much after this week (have some things to take care of (while im sick))

#ill finish doing asks when i get back home (dont know when) #and then when i hit 200 ill do another thing i guess? maybe pcs again or maybe ill draw other peoples dol designs but problem with that is #i Dont Know Many People Here 😰 #i only follow legit like 5 people and i dont check this dashboard often so i miss a lot #since i usually use my main tumblr to yknow. scroll through tumblr #i wish i could reblog other peoples art more often too but for some reason i get nervous? its so weird. i get nervous writing tags #probably because i get too excited and then i get a headache #what was this about again #oh #if any of you have anything you want me to do for 200 you can send an ask or something and ill make a poll so you all can vote on it maybe #but hopefully i can do it like order as in: finish asks i have now > celebrate yay!! > draw more designs lmao #but before all of that. i have to finish this one thing. lemon honey green tea give me the strength i need to finish this. #i need to clear out ageless followers when i get home too :( so i might not be that close after that #right now im 8 away from 200 i think? #but thank you to whoevers followed me :) #if you dont have an age in your bio remember to put one okay? or ill get another headache #i think thats all i have to say right now? if you have any questions comments or concerns please dont be afraid of me. #germaphone #i promise i dont bite. i kind of gnaw like a toothless cat. its all gums and its slimy and feels weird. like that #200 follower special you all ask me about my teeth situation (nothing special really)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Various images from the past year or so... posting my evil little photo diary collections once again..

#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that -- #1. one of the billions of pastel sky photos I take and post constnaly because I'm obsessed with the sky lol 2. I got #a gardening mama (like cooking mama) game from a friend a few years ago and don't really play it that much since it's not #as interesting to me in some ways but.. I do like the graphics a lot. It'd be cool if in real life when you did something correclty a bunch #of little rainbows and sparkles appeared in front of you lol. 3. Everyone makes fun of me but this is how I like to have sandwiches #.. basically a salad in between two pieces of bread. barely any meat and cheese but then like 2 inches of lettuce and tomatoes and stuff.. #half an entire head of iceberg lettuce on one sandwich... the Cronch... 4. Weird little light colored spider doing a split on the netting #of this strawberry garden. 5. ice creambe... 6. tiny tiny babey strawberry son.. 7. Went to someone's house and they #had this weird channel (I guess for halloween?) where it was like 8 different channels playing at once and you could watch them all #simultaneously (I don't think this is the intended purpose of it I think it's more just to show what's currently airing) #but it's kind of surreal and interesting.. with how on tiktoc and stuff they have those weird sensory overhwleming #videos where its' like 3 videos playing at once with unrelated audio. I wonder if one day people will just watch 8 screens #of tv at once like this after everyone offically has only a 2 second attention span lol. To me its kind of hard to pay attention #to but is an interesting excercise I guess. Like it was a cool challenge to try to watch it all at the same time #8. THE temperature indoors at NIGHT during the late summer........... AUGH..... #9. a pleasant little breakfast of scrambled eggs with green onion. baked salmon. sauteed corn. and a few almonds pecans and pineapple #leftover from making smoothies with it the day before. I eat basically the same rotation of things for every single meal every single #day (like literally I have had the same exact breakfast for about 2 years with zero variation except for special occasion) so whenever I do #actually have the energy to make something different or I have some interesting food for some special occasion reason. I feel more #inclined to document it lol.. like.. oooooo...eggs.. Which are normal to some people. but to me it's like.. wow... revolutionary.. so #different from my usual Scheduled Bland Stomach Problems Safety Gruel lol. #photo diary #spiders tw

[puppyeared]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing #i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though #at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself #as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed #escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date #although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL #ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting #workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety #i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back #AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO #im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts #i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem #in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material #and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school #maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess #only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard #hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms #i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work #not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall #anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh #yapping

[kohakhearts]

well folks its been a good two months of denial but i am finally ready to admit that the reason everything sucks is because of major depression relapse. if i werent so depressed id make this everyone elses problem by projecting it on to blorbo but alas

#taylor.txt #incapable of making this not a joke but i do have to say it kinda sucks #like obviously ive never been 100% free of my depression probably on account of it developing when i was a Child and then not getting any #treatment or even really any sympathy for until i was in my late teens but. BUT. even my historic mental breakdown 2 years ago didnt really #feel like depression. like yeah i was sad and hopeless but this is very different. sad and lethargic more so. simply too tired to be lost i #despair. which is i guess a good thing because it means its easier for me to fix. its just that right now im kinda stuck in it #i dont know if id say ive experienced major depression since my first year of uni #thats why ive been denying it all this time despite it being pretty…glaringly obvious #anyway. good news is im meeting with the prof of one of the classes im currently failing this week #and now i guess i kind of have an idea of what to tell her because all this time ive been struggling and i havent understood why #the content makes sense. i understand whats going on. but my memory has gotten so bad recently and the energy required to do my assignments #has been way too much. and im past my limit on that at this point unfortunately. like yeah shes probably gonna tell me well that sucks but #theres nothing i can do to save your grade and thats fine but at least i know even if it was a Me Problem that i let myself get depressed #again in the first place being actively depressed is a major barrier that i at least know isnt 100% me being an idiot with a bad attitude #i will struggle to the finish line but i will make it there. even if i fail a class or two in the process #and regardless of if it gets better i will finally go see my therapist again in the new year </3 something obviously led to this so whos to #say it wouldnt happen again if i just let that fester. whatever it is #also writing has been tough for the same reason school has been tough but its still happening and i will do more of it when school is over #i PROMMY

[grimmjowjaegerjaquez]

thinking about changing uriel's resurreccion from the. pavo real/fenix idea i had and just makin him paloma instead.

#i still like the peacock/phoenix thing #and i will still keep his color theming to oranges and stuff #but i............. there is symbolism with the dove that i like for him #ive been wanting to redesign him for a while anyway now #his sword still has its pretty gradient ribbon. its crucial. #oh yeah i have. a drawing of my girls that i want to post soon. #i need to finish it though. #suheila got a bit of an update. shes just in her pjs constantly now. with slippers and everything. #vinetta the venus fly trap lady has a solidified name now #and marisol. has a more solidified design. both normal and resurreccion. #i will draw them all. ALL. #god same with nuada and lorcan. theyve got some updates #lorcan though its more like. when alice meets him hes different than he initially looked #hes missing an earring and has his hair down when she meets him #annnd i also solidified ideas/concepts for alice's antagonists i guess? #there is. xavier. her mentor figure. i accidentally made him look like fucking ilberd from ffxiv jghgjkhjdgf #and then the random mook guy that is just kind of an asshole but still a problem. idr his name i think its albrecht????? lmfao #AND THEN: horrible woman main antag: torn between her being named temperance or prudence. both are funny to me. #was also thinking about swapping vinetta and suheila's resurreccions bc i keep thinking about what suits their personalities more??? idk ma #hello i have been thinking about arrancar a lot. #you WILL get to see them soon. once i have the will to finish art.

[jacksprostate]

how did you like The Shining?

It was enjoyable, I liked the set design and I do like when a movie has a pretty fluid original soundtrack rather than prescripted beats. Hard not to remember that Kubrick abused the shit out of Duvall. I can see how people get very obsessive over interpreting this movie. I don't think it sparked that in me but it was like, worth the watch. Tbh I think if I didn't know about the immense hype around it I would be even more meh on it. I was sort of always a bit out of place watching it because, purposefully as far as I could tell, it felt as if everyone was acting around each other, without being an interacting whole, which was an effect that just didn't really play out well for me. If I even rewatch it maybe I'll like it more then but for now I'll put it in "It's always fun to watch a movie with my friends but this was solidly mid to me."

#asks #it files into the type of media where an overall simple story is made purposefully vague and more ambiguous and then lots of #specific details are peppered around #as to inspire people to think way harder about it even though #it kind of obviously seems purposefully lacking #which like. i guess some people enjoy that #but I personally prefer movies and books that just unilaterally commit to what they're doing #like it's not complexity that i shy away from at all #but nothing feels more limpdick to me than something that kneecaps its own message to provide a larger avenue for artiste interpretation #all the supposed interpretations of the shining are limited imo by the fact that none of them seem to be baked in as the dedicated thought #i'm all for niche interpretations #and i dont think author intent is The One True Interpretation #but I think a story should be consistent enough that interpretations can be very strong even if they werent the authors intent #or the inconsistencies should be part of the interpretation #which does seem to happen with the shining dgmw #idk #it feels like a very 'why are the curtains blue' movie. and i actually really love symbol interpretation and whatnot like that!! #i just like. when it is more cohesive. i hate when it feels like its being purposefully waylaid #im sure some shining fans may find this take highly degenerate but thats their problem #if youre going to do an abstract interprative piece #the main meat should still stand strongly on its own #and it just didnt feel like the shining's did for me