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onlyswan · 5 months

Text

summary: in which jungkook loves to see you smile and you are the god of mischief.

idol!jungkook x reader, est. relationship / fluff / word count: 2.6k

content/warnings: mention of childhood insecurity, mention of biting during s*x, jk is very touchy, they watch a movie and the guard thinks they’re doing sumn nasty bc they’re both a menace honestly 😭, jk accidentally bites his lower lip and bleeds

> in which masterlist!

note: hi !! this is a repost of a drabble i wrote two (?) years ago but accidentally deleted lololol so if you’ve read it before that’s why! but this is now an edited version with a new title <3

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“baby,”

jungkook calls your attention out of nowhere, pausing the movie playing on the tablet you’re holding. the frown painted on his face is difficult to miss.

“i have a question.”

“so randomly?” you raise an eyebrow. “ask me then.”

“why do you cover your face when you’re happy?”

the wide-eyed look of genuine curiosity on his face is identical to yesterday’s, when he asked you what the word ineffable meant after hearing it in a song.

the question prompts you to take a glance at the screen, where a sophisticated woman has a hand over her mouth as she giggles with her elite acquaintances about an old but classic rich husband joke.

“it’s not that it bothers me, i just- i’ve noticed it lately and i-i wish to see you smiling and laughing more freely, you know?” he tries his best to choose his words carefully, offering you a kind smile as he lovingly caresses your head. “it makes me happy when i see you happy.”

“oh,” you blink at him, mind going blank as you attempt to form an answer in your head. his touch isn’t exactly helping you either— you just want to melt into him and not think of anything at all, float on cloud-nine and stay there forever.

however, seeing as he asked you the question out of the blue, he must’ve been thinking about it a lot. you’ve only been dating for a few months, so it’s understandable for him to eagerly seek the answers to his curiosities and observations. if anything, it feels nice to learn he gives this much attention to you— possibly notices things you don’t even know about yourself. for a split second the thought crosses your mind, that beyond a consciousness, you are tangible and real.

“it’s a habit i guess? when my teeth were falling out for the first time as a kid, i became insecure, so i decided that i’d just smile without showing my teeth from then on. like this.”

you demonstrate by lifting up the corners of your lips.

“and yeah-”

as if he’s helplessly pulled by the magnet of attraction, he leans down to kiss you and interrupt your sentence.

“i’d cover my face when i couldn’t contain my smile or laugh. and even when they grew back, it felt weird. like my smile didn’t belong to my face? if that even makes sense.”

“yah, that’s not true! you’re very pretty whether you’re smiling, or crying and-” his warm hand cups your cheek, and he stupidly grins as he’s about to say something cheesy. “even when you’re just breathing.”

the corners of your lips rise again. this time, it’s genuine.

“oh? how romantic.” you scrunch your nose cutely, and his heart flutters.

you hold onto his wrist, revelling in the way his thumb softly traces shapes on your skin.

“i’m over that, though. it was so long ago. i don’t think about it obsessively anymore at least. it’s really just a habit i haven’t gotten rid of.” you reassure him, meaning every word that you say.

we all have our secrets and fears that we keep only to ourselves, that much is understood between the two of you. there are circumstances in which withholding information is necessary. however, the one big promise you made to each other is to never lie. honesty and trust. ease and consolation. every word, every syllable hanging from your lips an addition to the naked history of your love. passed down stories. confessions. blurry memories. shutter sounds. curses. laughter. song dedications. that much is true.

“why are you looking at me like that?” you bite the inside of your cheek to conceal a smile, beguiled by his love drunk eyes seemingly stunned by your mere presence beside him.

“like what, baby?”

you shy away from his gaze. “like you’re either thinking that i hang the stars on the sky every night… or that you want to eat me alive.”

to confirm your words true, he takes your hand and sinks his teeth on the flesh of your palm where your thumb is connected. his wide doe eyes peer at you innocently, sparkling like of a little kid eating the fluffy pancakes he’s been craving since last night.

the latter might sound like a joke to others, but jungkook does eat you alive. almost. basically. you’re not even shocked at the act anymore. soon enough, you’ll memorize the mark of his teeth carving their mark on your skin, both in sexual and non-sexual setting.

“babe,” you send him a bewildered stare. “i really don’t think i taste as good as you make me out to be.”

he parts away with his eyebrows knitted in disagreement. “not true. you’re yummy.”

“oh, shut up!” you burst into a fit of giggles. your hands automatically attempts to fly to your face, but he has your wrists bound with his secure grip. you don’t resist. you only laugh harder when your sight lands on your hands tangled together.

“there’s ____’s beautiful smile.” he coos, proceeding to pepper your face with appreciative kisses.

and you fold. your back lands on the soft mattress, and your belly starts aching from laughter when he purposely blows on the spot on your neck where you’re most ticklish. hot tears gather at the corner of your eyes, and jungkook watches them fall down your temples as his lips graze your skin and your body shakes underneath him.

tears of joy and pleasure are the only tears you’re going to shed, he promises himself. you’re going to smile and make flowers bloom everyday, he promises you and the earth.

—

your teeth chattering from the cold is a shy away from your awkward smile, he notices the endearing resemblance as you shiver beside him.

“hmm, what did i tell you about cinema one?” he teasingly asks as he draws back the armrest that serves as a divider between the two of you.

“that it’s fucking cold in there-” you surrender, tone sounding annoyed. “here. whatever!”

“and who still decided to wear their smallest pieces of clothing?” he continues to taunt you while he pulls you into his body’s natural warmth.

you sigh, whether it’s in relief or annoyance, you’re not quite sure.

“i just wanted to wear my new cute clothes.” you whisper-shout.

the giant screen is still playing trailers of the upcoming movies this year, and you’re already mentally updating your calendar to accommodate them despite your hectic schedule. a two-hour vacation, you would always describe films.

he chuckles, and more shivers run down your spine at the deep and raspy sound being so close to your ear. “you do look cute today, baby.”

he catches the cloth of your skirt between his fingers, and somehow, he ends up squeezing the soft flesh of your thigh. you swallow thickly, unconsciously closing your thighs together and trapping his hand in between them.

“thank you, handsome.” you grip his wrist to move it away. you tut. “no silly business, though. i really want to watch this movie.”

his shoulders drop dramatically in disappointment. “okay… want to sit on my lap so i can keep you warm then?”

you look behind you to see that there’s no people sitting on your side, so no one’s view would get blocked if you were to agree to his proposition. the room is practically empty, with a few scattered people sitting on the sides.

you spend the first fifteen minutes of the movie in comfort and bliss, with your boyfriend’s arms wrapped around you. he took off his jacket earlier, and he splayed it over your lap as to not neglect the goosebumps rising all over your freezing legs.

“so stubborn,” jungkook muttered under his breath while he was taking off the jacket, an amused smile etched on his lips. you would’ve felt bad, but you knew he likes doing these things for you, so you only playfully stuck your tongue out at him.

look, to be fair, it is your first time in this cinema. you’ve been on many dates at this theater with jungkook, but for some reason, you’ve never watched a movie in cinema one until tonight. it’s cold in the other three cinemas as well, the kind of cold you’ve gotten comfortable with, so when jungkook booked the tickets last night and told you ‘it’s really cold in there, wear something warmer,’ you thought he was just being ridiculous.

hah, how cold could it possibly be? right?

fine, jungkook is right. you are stubborn.

and you prove it once more when a flashlight shines over your face. the security guard holding it approaches your seat- wait, no, jungkook’s seat. jungkook is your seat. what?!

“i’m sorry, but only one person can sit on the chair. please comply.”

you trace the direction of her eyes to find jungkook’s hands tucked underneath the jacket on your lap, resting on your inner thighs to steal their warmth. you send him a sharp glare, but it doesn’t affect him one bit. he only shrugs, obviously hiding a smirk as he pretends to be the most innocent person in the room.

you pull up the armrest next to you with a pout, slipping back into your original seat against your wishes.

“he was just warming up his hands. i promise!” you whisper not so subtly to the guard.

she only clears her throat and awkwardly nods in response, walking up the stairs to observe the rest of the movie watchers.

you bury your face in your hands as your body vibrates with mirth mixed with humiliation, and jungkook’s jaw nearly falls on the floor.

“sometimes i can’t believe you’re real. how do you never get shy?”

“i was just clearing things up!” you whine, hitting his arm using the side of a closed fist, which he massages with a squeaked ‘ouch.’ “you’re the one who put me in a compromising situation!”

“well, nobody told me taking care of my girlfriend was a crime!”

you carry on with watching the movie after that embarrassing scene, and you’ve forgotten that you’re cold until you’re uncontrollably shivering again. you begin rubbing your arms in a pathetic attempt to get rid of the goosebumps, but you eventually abandon all hope.

you sadly look over at your boyfriend to plead for help once more, but he has gotten too engrossed with the film to feel a pair of shaking pupils beseech him intensely. he finally opened the box of popcorn he’s been saving for the climax.

and he was the one who wanted to do something other than watch the movie.

you grimace.

you are no stranger to his confusing attention span.

after carefully studying the room to ensure the guard is no longer in sight, you unceremoniously climb on jungkook’s lap again. your actions cause some pieces of popcorn to fall from the box, and he scrambles to stuff them all in his mouth before the powder stains any of your clothes. yours are new, after all.

his face displays a puzzled expression, screaming i thought this was supposed to be a compromising situation?! and his soft rosy cheeks on the other hand-

“you look like a chipmunk who got caught in the headlights stealing food with its mouth full.”

the screen flashes a frame of the clear, blue sky in the aftermath of a ferocious storm. it sends the fleeting sunlight to shine on your face— just long enough for him to capture the image of how pretty you are when you giggle, and most of all, how your hand moves to cover your face, but drops on his arm before it could reach its intended destination.

he recognizes it as a conscious effort, and he feels a tug in his heart. his sweet, precious lover. you will never do anything wrong in his eyes, he thinks to himself as he hugs you closer for a kiss. the feeling of your smile against his lips might just be one of his most favorite things in the world.

he pulls away with a toothy grin to match yours, offering you the box of popcorn. the beautiful smile you claimed to not belong on your face lingers as you turn it down and sip on the lemonade instead. and then it simmers down to your usual mellow smile, to a deep frown, until your lips quiver as the resolution of the film reduces you into a puddle of tears.

jungkook likes to keep mental notes about you.

an excerpt from today:

1. how to make ____ smile? act cute.!! :)

2. how to make ____ cry? watch a son and mother reunite after eighteen long years.

p.s. i think i cried harder, but quieter ????

3. how to make ____ angry mad furious? kill off the said mother unnecessarily at the end of the movie for the sake of shu shock value.

the lights turn on all at the same time as the credits start rolling down on the plain black screen. your body slumps back on your boyfriend, drained by the series of overwhelming events that transpired in the past two hours. he waves his hand infront of your face, but your eyes remain unfocused and unblinking.

“this is the worst movie i have ever seen in my life. four out of five stars.”

he snorts at your unseriousness. “that is the most stars you’ve given this month. and it’s the 29th.”

“see? it’s the worst! i’m going to have nightmares!” you cry out with an exaggerated shudder, grabbing his forearms to envelope yourself in his embrace.

“honestly, pushing her off the cliff was a bit too mu-” his sentence gets rudely cut off when your shoulder accidentally hits his chin. you scrambled to go back to your seat, and this escalated to him accidentally biting the inside of his lower lip. the unusual mix of the bitter and salty taste of metal permeates his tongue as an unexplainable expression spreads across his face.

on the other hand, you’re too preoccupied with mischievously smiling at the guard standing down on the floor. she measures you up with a displeased look worse than earlier’s, but much to your relief, she proceeds to walk out after scanning the room one last time.

“baby!” jungkook yells in pain to grab your attention, jutting out his bottom lip to show you the wound that you inflicted.

“oh my god- shit, shit, shit-” you curse, digging your hand in your bag in search of your handkerchief. “i’m so sorry!”

you press the cloth on the bleeding, profusely apologizing to him with a wince. “i panicked! i’m sorry, i’m sorry!”

he pushes your wrist away for a moment, doe eyes squinting at you accusingly. “you just wanted to play around with her, didn’t you?”

you chew on your bottom lip, the sight of blood that has stained the handkerchief sends a pang of guilt across your chest. “sorry… her face- she was just so funny.”

“fuck, why are you like this?!” he throws his head back with a bright laugher that echoes throughout the theater. “ah, you’re so adorable!”

“come back here!” you scold him, holding his face in your hands to crane it back down.

he juts out his bottom lip again, but his body continues to vibrate with lighthearted chortles.

“does it hurt?”

“it hurts…! i think i might seriously cry!” he answers despite his high tolerance for pain, distorting the truth so that he could drown himself in the gratifying feeling of being doted on by you.

he writes another mental note as you inspect his wound, repetitive bloopers playing in the background of the love bubble the two of you share.

4. ____ likes playing games with strangers. must protect with my life.

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taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

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#jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #jungkook one shot #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts fluff #bts reaction #jungkook angst #jungkook smut

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jinnie-ret · 7 months

Note

Hiii I was wondering if you could possibly do a skz reaction to their s/o having angel fangs (like the piercing) like maybe they get them done without telling them or just them dating who has them if you're okay with it ofc, thank you for taking your time to read my request. I understand if you don't want to do it :] have a good day/ night

skz reaction to s/o with angel fangs

genre: fluff, angst if you squint

content warnings: none

word count: 1.3k

This is my first ever time writing a reaction fic so I hope you enjoy it!! :)))

I really enjoyed doing this one! Hope you have a good day/night too my lovely <3

As always, like, reblog if you enjoyed, and my asks are open for any requests you may have. And let me know if you'd like to be tagged when I post :)

MAIN MASTERLIST

Bang Chan

Chan loved his sweet girlfriend so so much. He thought you were the kindest person in the world and all he could ever think when he saw you was how sweet you are. Next to your shy temperament, you stood out in a different way to him with your silver angel fangs piercing.

"How can you be so cool and cute at the same time?" he admired you from where you were both cuddled on the sofa in the recording studio.

"Channie..." you blushed, hiding your face. He thought you'd be used to his compliments by now after being together for two years but no.

"I'm serious! It's making my brain... malfunction," he said, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"That's a good thing, right?" you boldly asked him, smiling.

"I can't with you, you're going to be the death of me," he squeezed you tighter in his arms.

Lee Know

Your boyfriend has his own quirks, his own habits that you had noticed ever since you met him, and one of them was poking the tips of your angel fangs. He was always pressing the pads of his fingers into the spikes.

"My little vampire girlfriend," he cooed as he didn't even look you in the eyes but stared at your lips and the jewellery adorning it.

"I'm not little," you rolled your eyes.

"Okay, okay I get it, 'careful I bite' and all that stuff your normally say," he teased, ruffling your hair as you groaned.

"If anything you're the vampire, it's like you want your fingers to bleed or something you weirdo," you folded your arms and rolled your eyes at him jokingly.

"You're not scary," he simply smirked back at your attempt to pretend to be angry, and that caused you both to crack a smile, the admiration you had for each other clear to see.

Changbin

He hadn't said anything yet. It had been 2 hours since you got back from the piercing studio and he'd said nothing.

"Sooooo, have you noticed?" you suddenly turned to him, making him choke on his glass of water.

"Of course I have! just didn't know what to say straight away..." Changbin said, deep in thought after recovering from the water incident.

"You don't like them?" you twiddled your thumbs awkwardly, sensing he didn't like them and he had kept himself quiet to not say anything that might hurt your feelings. At least he had your best interests in mind.

"No I love them... there's just too many words to describe how perfect you are," he turned you to face him, hand gently stroking your chin.

Oh.

So he did like them.

"Well, we've got time," you shrugged confidently, causing his hand to drop from your face as he whined.

"Stoppp! I was being cute!"

Hyunjin

He has just come back from dance practice and you were chilling in his room waiting to see him. You had just gotten the angel fangs piercing done today, and were expecting Hyunjin back anytime and wanted to see his reaction.

"Are we having a hotness competition or what?" he dropped his duffle bag with spare clothes on the floor, watching you relaxed on his bed.

"There's no competition, baby," you winked at him in an over the top way, making him giggle as he laid down next to you and admired them, caressing your cheek slowly with his hand as he analysed your face, like he was trying to burn it into his memory.

"You're staring," you whispered.

"Can't help it," he placed a chaste kiss upon your lips and pulled back to keep staring.

"You're like a magpie," you giggled, and he playfully whacked you on the arm as he rolled away from you and covered his face with his hand.

"You're such an idiot, Y/N!" he cackled.

Han

You walked back into the dorms, ready to see your boyfriend and surprise him, yet he seemed to have spotted you before you could have seen him, his blanket bundled self on the sofa now flying towards you.

"Baby? What did you do?" he gasped, slowly walking up to after his dramatic rise from relaxation.

"Look! Aren't they so cool?" you bounced on your toes, grinning with your fangs peeking under your lip, yet he was still worried.

"Did it hurt?!?" he fussed over you, lightly touching his own lip and wondering how it felt.

"A little bit... but it's worth it," you shrugged, still smiling lightly at him, his concern over you only making you feel fuzzy and warm.

"Beauty is pain, I get it," he nodded, eyes fixated on the shining jewellery.

"We should be matching," you winked at him.

"Oh no, I'll let you keep your tiger status my love," he waved you off, now pulling you into a tight hug and appreciating you, though you couldn't fully rest your head against him as he just wanted to keep admiring you.

Felix

Before you could even breathe, you heard the squeals of your excited boyfriend.

"You finally got them done!" he embraces you and forced you to jump around with him.

"Yes! Don't you think it looks good!" you stood back and started doing random poses to show off.

"It's literally perfect, so you!" Felix gushed, rushing to grab his phone.

"I knowww, I love it!" you blushed, happy that Felix liked how it looked too.

"Let me take photos for you, sweetheart," Felix took lots of photos, ones that you definitely posted on Instagram later, your favourite ones being where his head peeked into frame and kissed the piercings upon your lips.

Seungmin

A lot of Stays were shocked that such a clean cut idol, got with a girl who presented more of a punk image in her aesthetic. You were truly opposites, but that's what made you two work so well together.

The two of you were currently walking the streets of Seoul on a Sunday evening, hands clasped together.

"I'm getting weird looks again... I wish I never got these," you muttered sadly under your breath, feeling people's eyes dart to you, and it wasn't just your paranoia, you.kmew that this time.

"Why would you say such a thing?" Seungmin asked, upset on your behalf and feeling the same way himself that you were hurting.

"I just feel..." you trailed off, not really wanting to continue your sentence.

"Tell me," Seungmin insisted, pulling you over to a bench from the both of you to sit down on.

"I think people don't like me being with you and think I'm ruining your image," you sighed, absentmindedly tracing your finger against your angel fangs piercing in particular.

"If anything you're improving it, darling," Seungmin hushed you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and cuddling you to him, a delicate kiss on your forehead following the affectionate action.

You blushed and his your face, mumbling nonsensical words as you couldn't get a response out.

"Hahaha, don't go shy on me now," he laughed with a big grin on his face.

"You're too sweet to me," you smiled back up at him, peacefully taking in the city lights and basking in the warmth of your boyfriend's arms.

Jeongin

Wow, was the word most people used to describe the pair of you when they saw you together. Probably apart too.

You were a power couple plain and simple. Hot, muscular Jeongin, paired with a hot, pierced reader? Match made in heaven.

"What are you going to get done next?" Jeongin asked as you were both out getting coffee.

"Jeongin, I've literally had these for a couple of hours..." you facepalmed at your boyfriend, who although eager to see your new ones wanted to know how many more you'd get, already imagining all the different places available on your body where there was room.

"You're right, I need more time to obsess over these," he smirked and cockily raised his eyebrows as you from across the table.

"What am I gonna do with you?" you shook your head and lightly laughed at his antics.

tagged: @kiraisastay @skz-streamer @hannahhbahng @backintomykpopphaseagain

#skz #stray kids #stray kids x reader #skz fluff #skz x reader #skz angst #straykids imagines #stray kids fluff #skz fic #stray kids imagines #skz reactions #stray kids reactions #stray kids reaction #reaction

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intoxicated-chan · 2 months

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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟓 ║ ❝𝐈 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐈𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐝, 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞❞

(A/n) ➳ Five chapters down, six more to go! Yep this series is meant to be eleven chapters. I think I made Daryl not Daryl. I don’t know if that made sense but I hope it does.

Word Count ➳ 840

Content Warnings ➳ Womanizer Shane, talks of marriage, unrequited love, rejection, light sexual content, swearing, OOC/Soft Daryl…

JUDAS Masterlist

YOU STARED AT THE RECENT TEXT FROM AMY.

You wanted to huff, but you sat across from Shane whose eyes remained on you. His gaze made you sit up unconsciously and uncomfortably, even when you looked out at the window beside you, his gaze never moved.

The two of you sat in silence, utensils clicking against plates and the gentle sounds of the neighboring tables. It wasn’t until Shane’s voice brought you out of your thoughts.

“I remember you sayin’ you wanted to travel. Do you still have those plans?”

You shrugged, tearing into the steak with your fork and knife. “Hard to say, money has been tight. I’m surprised you even remember that, I don’t.”

“It was the night we all went to the drive-in theater. You sounded so happy ‘bout it.” Shane reached into his wallet, pulling out a photo of said night.

You looked up at the sky, a wide smile on your face. You wore a thick jacket that you had a feeling that it was Shane’s. You could barely see Rick and Lori, both of them eating each other’s faces.

“You kept this? Why?”

“Memories, I like to keep ‘em close.” He replied, pulling the photo back into his wallet. “And I wanted to travel with you.”

“Ever tell that to the girls who cling to your arm?” You lifted an eyebrow, brought the piece of steak to your lips, eating it. “Who would’ve gotten angry? Susie? Jamie? Or Scarlet? She would’ve become a storm.”

Shane’s eyes flickered with regret. “Should’ve known you’d never let that go. I know I ain’t ever shown you that I do love you, but I’m ‘ere how. I ain’t got plans to go anywhere without you. Even if I’m second-”

“Stop. Jus’ stop.” You dropped your fork and knife, running your hands over your face. “I-I can’t, Shane. I won’t. I ain’t gonna put you through the pain of being with me. I ain’t gonna do it, you can’t convince me.”

You don’t see the way his eyes narrowed, how his jaw clenched. “I love you, (Y/n). I’m willin’ to make this work.”

“But I ain’t. I can’t love how a wife should love her husband.” Your heart raced but you tried to sound stern and remain firm in your decision. “You are my friend and that’s all.”

You reached into your purse and took out enough to cover your portion to cover your meal. You dropped it into the table and stood, eyes locking with Shane’s.

“I’m sorry Shane.” You slipped on your jacket. “I hope you can understand.”

Without another word, you walked out of the restaurant. You walked into the parking lot of the restaurant, leaning against a random car and fumbling with your phone.

You did it. You finally did it. You should’ve felt clear by now, like weight was taken off your back. But why was your heart still racing? Why were you worrying about the opinions of Lori and Rick? What would they say now?

You knew what they wanted for you. It was probably a dream they wanted. High school sweethearts friends with high school sweethearts. So the friend group would still be together.

You dialed Daryl’s number. After a few rings, Daryl answered, his voice rough and warm. “Hey-”

“Tell me this ain’t bullshit.” You cut him off. “Tell me that all of this isn’t for fun. That I’m not some other girl.”

“Y’know, the bar ain’t the first time I saw ya. I came into the diner late, saw ya.”

“Really? What was I wearing?”

“Ya was comin’ out of a room. White shirt, black skirt, boots, with hooped earrings that shined. Ya was standing next to a blonde.”

“Yeah, Annie. I was leavin’ my shift. You must’ve been lookin’ at her who’s better than me.”

“Ya seriously think that?”

“Yeah, so why ain’t you hookin’ up with her?”

“‘Cause she looked miserable. Didn’t matter how much that woman smiled, it was fake. And at the bar, it wasn’t fake. Ya were where you wanted to be, I swear to ya. I ne’er met anyone like ya and it makes me want to enjoy life again… (Y/n)?”

Daryl had brought you back to your place. His hands are carefully slipping off your shirt, dragging his hands over your exposed skin.

“Am I gonna be some other guy to you?” He whispered against the skin of your neck, his hot breath sending chills.

“Never. ‘Cause I know you.”

He hummed, planting kisses down your neck, chest, and down to your stomach. “Do ya now?”

“There’s more to you.” Daryl lifted his head, coming back up. You take it as a chance to wrap your arms around his neck. “I can see past the cold face you put on. Like at the bar. But everytime you were with me, you ain’t a hardass.”

Daryl chuckled in response. “Ya gettin’ yerself into deep shit, only a fool would.”

“Could a fool fall in love?”

“Yer a hopeless woman.”

Taglist ➳ @deansapplepie , @ladylincoln , @gamingfeline , @lady06reaper , @alanamarie , @daryldixmedown , @celtic-crossbow , @mrdixon , @itwasntaphasema , @duffmckagansbandana , @raspberryslxt , @itsrainingbisexualfrogs , @ingstadstarlight , @gamingfeline , @lor-geeked , @thegeorgiahuntsman , @snailss , @the-lonely-abyss , @number1bashbabe , @xmaeyonaise , @suniloli , @of-storms-and-sadness , @annhells , @sexyxdylanxobrien , @yoowhatthefuck ,

⊰ Chapter 4 ⊰ » » YOU’RE HERE « « ⊰ Chapter 6 ⊰

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yooniesim · 4 months

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So, I may be a day late, but I still want to make a little post for Simblr Gratitude Day 💜

To start off, my memory is pretty bad, so I just know I'm gonna miss tagging people... and honestly, there's way more people on here I'm grateful for than tumblr's limit of 50! So I'm starting out addressing everyone.

To everybody that likes or reblogs my posts, sends comments or asks, shares their sims with me, or uses my cc: I love you. Yes, you! I may be bad at answering back sometimes, but I cherish every interaction I get- a lot of the times they have me kicking my feet and giggling, or sometimes I'm barking and scaring my cat. Asks really make my day and even when I don't reply so fast, they warm my heart. Asks I've gotten on here have genuinely helped me in my dark times, and renewed my faith in this community as a whole, because some of you are just so freaking amazing and kind. Especially now with everything I've been going through, sims and being here has remained a comfort for me because of you all. Even if there's speed bumps from time to time, I truly believe there's more good here than bad, and y'all should be proud of yourselves and your capacity for endless kindness. Thank you!

Now, I'm going to address a few specific precious people I'm grateful for.

@wastelandwhisperer - Moon, my precious mom friend, I adore you. The joy, comfort, and hilarious memories you give me can't be understated. You deserve all the love and light in the world.

@neverheresims - God's eepiest soldier, what would I do without you? Thank you for always being genuine, reliable, and a true friend.

Vi - Thank you my sheriff, my paggro detector, my master of copypastas, my right hand catboy. Even though you're untraceable, I couldn't leave you out. I love you!

@divinedionym - Thanks for always being straight with me and taking NO shit. I truly admire you and your attitude, friend.

@dyoreos - We may not both be active at the same time anymore, but I still think of you, friend! You've always had my back and I'll always have yours.

@nucrests - I'm so grateful to be your friend, and every time you share your beautiful content and gorgeous sims with me, it really makes my day. I adore you.

@cinamun - You probably don't know this, but in certain times when I was feeling low, your comments and kindness really lifted my spirits and made me feel like I belong. You're a lovely person and deserve all the love you receive, friend.

@woosteru - You won't see this bc you're retired so I can be sappy as I want, so there!!! I adore you, your sweet personality, and your sense of humor that matches just right with mine. (Nobody tell them)

@superflare - Lulu, you're an incredibly creative and intelligent person. I can tell you're going to go far in life and do great for the world. Be proud of yourself, always!

@fiftymilehighclub - Thank you for always being yourself, Manda! You're such a hardworking person that's kind but firm with your opinions and what matters to you. You're amazing.

@nicatnite88 - Tay, you're someone that's always empathetic, understanding and kind, yet hilarious at the same time. I look up to you as a person and admire your skills as a parent.

@pluto-sims - What do I say about Eli? Despite being unfortunately bri*ish, you've exceeded expectations in all other areas as a friend. I genuinely appreciate your presence and kindness in my life.

@bloody-soda - As one of my longest and dearest mutuals, peachy, my love for you can't be understated! I think of you whenever I see cute meme pics lol and you're so lovely as a person.

@wubblesgonefishin - Beautiful wubs, you're such a wonderful person with so much love to give! My day brightens every time I speak with you and I'm so glad you're back.

@toastie-sim - Meg! One of my few brain cells, I don't know what I'd do without you! You're so helpful all the time and unbelievably patient. I appreciate you.

...Phewph. Now that that's o- wait. You thought I was done??? Nuh uh, the king of long ass texts posts is not done that fast. Here's some more beautiful people I'm grateful for and love seeing grace my dash 💜

@simandy @void-imp @therichantsim @adelarsims @marsosims @shysimblr @1-800-cuupid @xldkx @xiuminuwu @hexcodesims @cassymblr @lotusplum @rebelangelsims @denzellion @strawberrylattesims @anachrosims @cowplant-snacks @fierce-trait @simanin @ghostwoohoo @llama-head @aghilasims @janjumjam @jellyfish-tea @bbdoll @puppycheesecake @mwvwv-sims

#ceci speaks #nonsims #text #simblr gratitude day #im telling u i missed ppl and im sorry #but just know i love u all!!!

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athena-willowthorne · 7 days

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ok I know I'm going to be drowned out as one of many and I don't want to be the guy feeding the public frenzy right now but I want to offer my thoughts on the watchertv situation.

I've been a fan of ryan and shane for almost 6 years. I got into them when I was around 12-13, and now, at 18 years old, they've occupied a fairly significant part of the last third of my life. I feel reasonably confident in saying I've watched everything they've ever made, from buzzfeed and watcher, and when they went out to found watcher, I was abundantly happy to welcome steven into my parasocial love for them. I feel like I've grown up with them, and going off to college next year, it was never a question in my mind that they'd follow with me. I mean, I bought their unsolved book the second it was announced, and I even snagged a ghost files shirt and a professor plush when he was rereleased. I took the professor to the lizzie borden house for my 18th birthday overnight, and wow was that an expense, but I've wanted to go ever since middle school when I stumbled across buzzfeed unsolved for the first time. in short, losing them is like losing a constant presence in my life, a cherished presence, no matter how ridiculously parasocial that makes me sound.

when I heard about watchertv, I was crushed. in the past couple days, I've jumped from betrayal to desperation to grief to bitter anger. but I think I've landed now in a place where those make more sense to me. I agree wholeheartedly with so many commenters on every platform right now. they're just like me, feeling let down and disappointed by the people we've idealized, and gotten used to seeing for free. but I also understand exactly how this idea came about, I know what it's like to feel backed into a corner on something, forced to make a hard choice where it feels like only a radical shift will save you. we as fans were there for the three of them, their dynamic. but their dreams don't match up. they want freedom to make what they want, and they feel passionate about growth to tv quality. that's what they're aspiring to, I do genuinely think that.

I won't sit here and go on about the different takes people have made about steven's masterminding or shane's reluctance. the bitter stuff that's been said feels very harsh. but I can't condemn the people saying things out of anger that aren't targeted. it's ok for them to feel upset. sure, maybe it sucks that it has to come out on a public forum like the internet but it's valid nonetheless. but on their end, that's got to hurt. I hope so dearly that watchertv succeeds, even if it has to change a lot to do that. a subscription service isn't what we want, but it's what they believe will let them make the quality content they want to. that's worth pursuing, and I care about them so much that I want them to go for it.

I hate that I can't follow them into this next chapter. and I'm sure a lot of other people are too, and however they choose to feel that is perfectly ok. but their creative satisfaction and happiness does not depend on me, and it shouldn't be limited by what I can or am willing to do.

anyway my heart goes out to them truly. I'll miss them in college, and probably forever, and hopefully our paths cross again. but even if we don't, I'm happy for the memories I was able to make, I hope every other upset fan feels the same way eventually too :))

#btw I will be spending my 6 dollars on palestine. I feel that that's a better use of my money lol #to every fan on both sides of the audience: stop infighting please everyone is feeling different things and we're all processing differentl #I will be a lifelong fan by the way nothing could make me hate them #I love steven lim !!! in case he hasn't been getting enough of that !! I don't care if he proposed the idea or not I love him !!!!!#I hope they're not stressing rn over damage control :((#anyway watch me post this and they address the whole thing tomorrow lol #watcher entertainment #watcher #ryan bergara #shane madej #ryan and shane #steven lim

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valleyfthdolls · 2 months

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Quick FNAF analysis: Why and how I think Cassie's dad died

Content warning: This is very long (TLDR at the end) Trigger warning: Death

Why I think Cassie's dad died

I'll be the first to admit that a small part of me mostly hopes that Cassie's dad is dead because Cassie is only one of two female protagonists we've ever gotten and I'd hate to see the progression of the story from here be that Cassie was fridged and overshadowed for her dad's development. However, I also think that it's likely that he is in fact dead.

Everyone who's brought this up- and I do mean everyone- has talked about the item descriptions and Cassie referring to her dad in the past tense, and the common rebuttal for this is that he could simply be absent from her life.

However, this is unlikely for one main reason: look at the other missing character who was absent in her life. Gregory.

We know Gregory probably wasn't present in her life for long before disappearing. Less than a year, most likely, since they met at her birthday party and she went looking for him before the next birthday. I'm willing to bet based on his total lack of legal records and Vanessa not recognizing him as a missing child that he's been gone long enough for the case to have gone cold, more or less. That would at least be a couple of months. If you consider GGY canon, Cassie is not present at school and is never mentioned, which could take off another few months. (Funnily enough, at one point, the Spanish version of the FNAF wiki asserted that the two were likely school friends.) Likely, Gregory was missing for just as long as if not longer than Cassie was friends with him, and yet:

"Freddy is Gregory's favorite."

Not was, is.

This could be because she thinks she's talking to Gregory, so she has reason to believe he's alive, but to me, it feels intentional. It's the exact same quote as "Bonnie was my dad's favorite", but in the present tense. It makes me think that at the very least, Cassie has no reason to believe her father is alive.

Also, this note that I can't believe no one talks about.

This note appears in the AR world, as found by me and my friend Kani. If my memory serves me correctly (might not), it was found in the raceway. It's akin, to me, to the cutouts of Gregory. It represents something she's lost. But unlike with Gregory, where it's easy for her to believe he's been alive this whole time, Cassie makes no indication she believes or even hopes that her dad is alive. I think she's likely accepted that he died, but subconsciously, it may still weigh on her. See:

Monty very obviously destroyed Bonnie. Associating Bonnie with her father as she seems to, it's hard for her to look at Monty. Maybe in her eyes, he destroyed her dad, in a sense, and also:

Speaking of associating him with Bonnie.

I think Cassie is likely projecting all of these unanswered questions onto the mystery of Gregory under the building, because there's an answer coming to that, and she isn't going to be getting an answer for what happened to her dad. If this is true- and this part is mere speculation- the case of her father's death could be closed, ruled an inexplicable freak accident. If it was still a mystery, or if he was still missing, there would still be a case and a reason to search for him, but there's not. There's no hope of closure and reunion to hold onto. So all hope is funneled into seeing Gregory again.

But if her father's death is confirmed, if the case has been closed without the truth coming out, then what actually happened?

How I think Cassie's dad died (and it was not the staff meeting)

I think, simple as all things, that the ending of Help Wanted 2 represents the death of Cassie's father. He could be the protagonist, but that raises some questions about the Princess Quest ending- in all honesty, HW2 is a game I don't really understand the significance of, and given all the wildly varying and painfully unfounded theories, I have a hard time believing anyone really does. Regardless, I do think that HW2 showed us his fate. And I don't think it's what fans think.

A lot of people chalk Cassie's dad's death up to the staff meeting referenced in Security Breach. The leading theory goes that with the heavy emphasis put on going, it was definitely something sinister.

Attendance is mandatory, despite how late it is. There's a risk of being laid off if you don't go. And then, not too far away, a message saying that they no longer need a lot of their staff due to the success of the STAFF Bot project. What most fans believe is that staff meeting was a way for Vanny to congregate staff members and use the endoskeletons (who she had trained not to not react violently to the presence of cake, and one of whom has a model in the files where it is covered in cake)-

I don't know who the guy in the top right is-

-And that the fifteen victims' deaths were covered up with a "staff retreat" mentioned in Special Delivery, but the kitchen it happened in was left in a state of total disarray.

However, I doubt this. First of all, Karen Soto is on there twice, which isn't relevant to this but I needed to point it out. Second of all, I doubt that the massacre actually even happened, third, Special Delivery took place in the early days of the Pizzaplex's creation, before they would've been able to replace people with STAFF Bots (which we know was done around the same time), and fourth, if Cassie's dad died at the end of HW2- which I have no idea why else they'd show us that if it wasn't relevant to Cassie and I'll explain that in a second- it doesn't align with the details of the supposed staff meeting massacre.

Let me explain.

I doubt that the massacre actually even happened: The evidence is few and far between, and flimsy at that. A mandatory meeting, the endoskeletons being violent in response to quite literally everything, not just cake, a staff retreat that might not have even happened at the right time to be related, and a single endoskeleton with cake on it that isn't actually in the game. Also, if that was the cause of the mess in the kitchen, A) why was the meeting in the kitchen? B) wouldn't the company want to cover it up by cleaning up the kitchen before going with faking a company retreat from which apparently no one questioned that fifteen people never returned?

Cassie's dad's potential death doesn't align with the details: If we put my skepticism about the massacre ever happening at all aside and assume it did, if Cassie's dad died at the end of HW2- and again, I don't think that they would show this to us if it wasn't relevant to her- it couldn't have possibly been in the massacre.

First and foremost, that scene is immediately followed by watching Cassie take the VANNI mask, meaning that what we just saw not only predates Ruin, but is also important to it. Therefore it has to be relevant to Cassie, to Ruin as a whole. I think it makes the most sense, then, that we're not just following any random ass technician but rather Cassie's own father.

Beyond that, though, looking at the scene, Cassie's dad is not in the kitchen. He's underground in the old pizzeria. And there, Cassie's dad is attacked by Vanny's weird nightmare STAFF Bots. These weren't the tools she used in the massacre- that was the endoskeletons. No other people appear where Cassie's dad died. There is no cake. This is not the staff meeting.

Plus, if I'm right about Cassie knowing that her dad is dead, then that negates the cover-up part of the massacre.

But why would he individually have been targeted?

Look back at the note.

"Gone for a while" is ominous. You'd think if it was the staff meeting, it'd be "gone for the night", but it's "gone for a while." That suggests something odd. He didn't think that it was something innocuous. He was expecting to be gone for a while.

Cassie's dad was a technician. The technicians were the ones who caught onto P46 hacking into the system and were trying to keep [her] out and fix things. As described later, the glitch was "broadcasting a very dangerous message."

Attempts to remove the glitch did nothing. It was certainly obvious to these techs that whatever was happening was sinister in nature. So maybe Cassie's dad was trying to put a stop to it. To keep P46 out of the system and fix the damage [she] had caused in a way that would cause meaningful change. And in this way, he ended up in [her] line of fire.

As the fourth therapist points out, the previous therapist's body was "mangled by machinery". Knowing of The Mimic and what it does in Tales from the Pizzaplex- decapitating and dismembering its victims- that sounds like it could be described as them being "mangled by machinery." And it happens when they become suspicious of Patient 46's behaviors.

The STAFF Bots are trained on the same program as the Mimic. They're taught by watching. Showing them what actions to replicate. That's at least what HW2 suggests. So if the Mimic program is corrupted, then Vanny or P46 could use the STAFF Bots trained on it to do the kind of damage described to the therapists, and the kind of damage done to Vanny herself in the disassembled ending. (Now, that ending might not have happened, but I imagine it must have been within the realm of possibility at least in Gregory's mind, and they could dismember Freddy, who is much larger than a human.)

Cassie's dad was a technician, the group that became suspicious of Patient 46's behaviors. Others who became suspicious were brutally murdered, potentially dismembered, "by machinery". The STAFF Bots in particular would be easy to get to do such a thing because they're programmed just like the already-prone-to-dismembering-people Mimic, and we know that it is absolutely in their power to dismember people.

And what was he attacked by?

STAFF Bots.

TLDR; Cassie refers to her dad consistently in the past tense even though she refers to Gregory (also missing) in the present tense, and doesn't seem to think or hope that she can see her dad again. She seems to have accepted that her dad is dead even though she doesn't know how. As for how, he wasn't at the staff meeting where people were supposedly attacked and killed in the kitchen by endoskeletons; he was a technician who got suspicious of Patient 46, or Vanny, or The Mimic, or whoever, and the STAFF Bots, trained by the same program as the Mimic and corrupted by it, physically tore him apart just like the Mimic does to its victims.

#fnaf #story interpretation #<- my fnaf lore tag #fnaf ruin #fnaf theory #five nights at freddy's #fnaf cassie #security breach ruin #fnaf sb dlc

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mycptsdrecovery · 1 year

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To the person who sent this ask:

https://at.tumblr.com/mycptsdrecovery/hi-im-sorry-to-ask-this-really-because-it-feels/fepccd6vfm9e

So first off I want to apologize because this message is probably gonna fuck your shit up a little bit. But for me at least, clarity brought peace. I hope this helps you put the pieces together and can bring you some comfort to know that you are not alone, what happened to you was very real and incredibly traumatic, and that you are incredibly strong for living through that. You’re obviously very smart and you’re asking the right questions- keep it up.

I read your post and I know exactly what happened to you. You had a VCUG. I had it done too, multiple times when I was 3. It took me literally 20 fucking years to figure out what that was and what happened to me. When I read the Wikipedia page, it was like I got hit in the head with a brick so brace yourself before you look it up. The procedure has literally every characteristic of a sexual assault, and I have lifelong sexual trauma from it. It’s used as a tool in research for studying memory related to CSA, because ofc you can’t abuse children to get data- but the VCUG is “medically necessary.” I think it’s almost worse in a way because it’s more like a gang rape WHILE YOUR PARENT IS WATCHING, and you’re not even seen has an object of attraction- it’s dehumanizing, and the denial of autonomy over your own body has serious, long term effects. It set me up for a lifetime of other sexual trauma- by the time I was 6 I was already showing hypersexual behavior. I never learned how to set any boundaries. Period. If you learn as a child that you don’t even have privacy *in the bathroom by yourself*, layered with the confusion and embarrassment of the experience (I was being potty trained, and then all of a sudden I’m in a radiology room and my mom is telling me I have to pee on this table in front of all these people??) seriously fucked me up, at least.

I spent literally my entire life not knowing why I was so fucked up, not knowing why I was so deeply traumatized when nothing (that I knew of) happened to me. It’s agony, and I blamed myself and lost myself in addiction and anorexia. Funnily enough, Ive always gravitated towards people who had serious childhood trauma. I’d hear their stories, and understand the feelings, but I never had a “story” of my own. It made me feel like an imposter, because it wasn’t like I got raped by a family member or something more “textbook”. Nobody talks about VCUG trauma even though thousands of kids go through this every year. It’s a faceless trauma, there’s nobody to blame (which makes it even more difficult to cope with imo)

There’s like one (1) support group on Reddit with 70 members, which is the largest to my knowledge. I was thinking of maybe starting a blog because there’s a lot of older people on reddit (like 5-10 yrs older than me at least) and I think that growing up Online with that trauma and 24/7 access to violent adult content is a totally different experience. But all of the emotions they talk about are the same, I’ve always kinda felt like nobody could understand what it’s like to be in my head, but reading that subreddit made me realize that I’m not The Most Fucked Up Person Who Has Ever Lived. And I learned how the trauma has formed every facet of my personality. Like I’m an anxious control freak who feels no sense of ownership over my body- surely that has nothing to do with this foundational traumatic memory of being denied control over my most basic bodily functions, right? Much to think about lol

You’re not crazy, and what you went through is unfortunately very real. I’m assuming that you’re still a teenager or a very young adult so you may not have gotten a yeast infection since you were a kid, but I think that the white stuff/medicine you were describing was monistat for a yeast infection. It’s a suppository, so there’s a like plastic plunger you put this white egg on, and then you put it in your vagina and push it up to your cervix, and the medicine leaks out over the course of a couple days. So it doesn’t surprise me at all that you would remember that, someone put a foreign object inside of you that was itchy and gross.

And for the record, your parents are *Very* Bad At Boundaries!!! If they can’t be the adults and set healthy boundaries, you have to. Its perfectly okay to say “I don’t want to talk about that” or “you’re making me uncomfortable, please stop touching me”. You didn’t have a voice when you were a kid, but you have one now. Trust me, I know it’s fucking scary and feels impossible- but do it once, and you’ll be hooked on the feeling forever.

I figured everything out last year (I’m about to turn 24), and I’ve been in therapy which has been super helpful. For me at least, EMDR has really been great for reprocessing those memories, and so has hypnotherapy exercises for being able to get into my subconscious. If you’re gonna look for one, you need a trauma specialist. Don’t fuck around with like a school counselor who mainly does “I’m depressed sometimes” therapy. If you’re anything like me, you need Serious Help.

I love you internet stranger- everything’s gonna be okay. You’re not alone, and it is possible to heal ❤️ I hope this brings you some peace

#thank you anon

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sea-salt-child · 6 months

Text

In the Room (Pokepasta)

Everything that happens to me is a metaphor.

…

I live in a house with many rooms. These rooms comfortably hold me and the others, although I’ve never met any of them. I am, in a way, the final resting place for many games.

I’m talking about Pokémon this time around.

I really like those games- they fill me with a sense of wonder, companionship, freedom… truly, they are the best and I feel a little sad to see them change.

They take easily and grow around, able to handle heavy gashes without completely tearing at the seams.

They call that property being “highly compatible”.

On the first day, I woke up with a strong impression about the room and its contents. That is how I knew something had to have changed. Do you ever get that sensation?

You see, the game is a consequence rather than a cause and I eventually spotted it on my laptop’s contents.

It would be silly to give me real hardware, you know? So I work with emulators. This is just as well, for me, because I’m more used to this anyhow and changing would be a pain.

I opened the game up.

Music started, but stopped jarringly once the Gamefreak logo was supposed to show up. Rather, a text box opened:

“What? Where did he go? I swear I saw him enter this room!”

I need you to trust me. I need you to believe that I’ve committed every detail to memory, stuffing it down my throat, into my brain. If that trust is broken, then nothing else has any significance from here on out.

“...Oh. Again?”

The press of a button and it was all wiped to black, then blue as the regular menu opened up.

There was already a game there. Player “Retry”. One of the others must have gotten this before me, then, and made a mess. I’m used to that kind of situation and, out of respect for their privacy, I started a new game.

The game skipped directly to the opening sequence, in the truck- but the boxes in stacks extended beyond the usual confines in every direction, giving the impression of a huge room rather than a jostling vehicle.

Motion stopped and it all went silent as my character walked to where the exit should be and disappeared. The room resumed moving and I was left looking at nothing.

It’s not a big deal, really- the game just needs to think a little and recover from the last bout of changes. I don’t mind it- if anything, these imperfections left behind let me connect with the others in a way I usually can’t.

Words slowly appeared, black and one after another, making it hard for me to understand the phrase. They went by and I wrote each one to a text document:

“I can’t see the sky from here”

No, I can’t. Even if I look outside the window, I can only see the laundry room. Sometimes, I see people wash things, do their jobs, but they don’t look my way.

I pressed buttons, trying to get something to happen, only for the character to appear at the top of the screen, slowly falling back into place and like so, I finally was given control to roam around the box-filled room, able to walk over anything in my way.

These experiences are the core of the game, exposed and reflecting. I make this, change everything to the core and then they take the game back to spread among the normal people of the normal world.

I checked the menu, eventually, to see my character. My name was a single animating water tile.

She was splattered with petals of unknown flowers.

Spreading everywhere, obscuring stats, scattering, only letting me see part of her face with vibrantly yellow eyes.

Already, the game was giving under my touch.

Next, my pokémon-

Three eggs and nothing more, all said to be hatching soon.

When I closed the menu, leaves now fell, carried by breeze around my rose wracked avatar. My mirror, my mouthpiece…

They are interested in “out there” reflections much more than they care about what they mean. I’m a last ditch attempt to get something usable once the others have left their marks.

I can’t run blood through, can’t leave eerie warnings, can’t weave fog and inject hatred. I can’t and I can’t and I can’t, and by repeating that I became the end of the road, unable to even express myself properly.

My world is too small. It is smaller than the world in the box.

All of a sudden, the clock screen showed up, asking me to set the time. Thin golden cracks ran across the clock in harsh patterns. I informed it that it was one hour earlier than reality.

It must not have liked that- it made choked little sounds and gurgles for a few moments before the screen closed on its own and left me in the middle of Littleroot.

No one would let me in- every door I tried prompted the same message:

“This is not for you”

Followed by a short jingle I could not recognize from anywhere in the game.

Now I’m in the dark again, fluttering. It’s going down because it cannot go up and I’m caught in the flow.

I opened my pokémon menu again.

Torchic simply looked from side to side, simply named “Arrival”. It was named that because it was named that, and so, it had to imply it.

The two eggs below changed- spots on the shell now flower shaped and small. I wondered if I would get all starters, then, and set out to play properly.

These are best envisioned as interludes rather than anything else. Between waves of change, there are stillnesses.

This house contains a number of rooms dedicated to each of us. It is a pipeline, although there are exceptions. Games and objects are passed down long enough to become of interest and are then taken for, presumably, distribution.

I’m a haunting in a box.

Although I could progress, NPCs were missing in several locations- ones that would normally impede my progress. Others would turn away from me whenever I approached and when forcefully talked to, would say strange things:

“Oh you poor thing…”

“I don’t believe it, end of story.”

“Found by candlelight.”

“She did that?”

“Why do we need to be involved?”

“It reverses”

Bits and pieces of abstract nonsense, repeated lines from dreams, former game journeys, dejà vu.

And then there was Wally.

I found him on a thin route placed strangely, not a normal part of the game. A long road going up, with strange streetlights- things not matching the game’s artstyle, but rather, scribbled in, animation between two shaky frames.

He met me midway through.

“This is… wrong. I don’t get it. Why did it end up like this?”

And a name input screen showed up. I thought- I thought. Poor Wally. He’s a good guy. He wouldn’t understand my situation. All I could respond with is:

“IS OK”

“Everyone else is freaking out about it. You don’t have to go all the way through on your own”

But I have to.

Because I wound up here.

A battle began, just like that. My Torchic against his Ralts. An easy victory for me- though he did surprise me by bringing out something I was unfamiliar with after his pokémon went down: A round thing with question marks in it, appropriately named “??????????”. It proceeded to just struggle itself to death.

When the game put me back into the overworld, I was in a town with an unknown name. Houses of every style- some on trees, some on lakes. Another sprawling location going forever as far as the eye can see.

I call this a “Reticence”.

A moment the game needs in order to think, to realign its pieces in the presence of my story, of my outpouring of feelings and memories.

I walked and I walked, occasionally running into pokemon out in the streets. This took me a while, and I split up the time between the game and sleeping. A familiar routine.

Arrival managed to grow up nicely into a Combusken. I was happy and I said so aloud, to which the game responded with nothing but advances on its mangled RNG.

I checked on the eggs too, and they now bore identical messages:

“Whatever was inside, it has already died.”

A graveyard in my brain. When these things die, there is nowhere to bury them except for in memories. In that sense, these are living beings unlike me. I’ll be buried, but never loved in my descent. Their data allocation will be freed, their binaries returning to the primordial soup of ones and zeroes that breathe life into their world and likewise, my flesh will spread like grand wings and finally get me out of here.

I’ll return as a passing breeze back home and they will, in turn, become the data of pokémon to come.

A box opened up when I exited:

“ARRIVAL doesn’t understand!”

But he doesn’t need to.

We continued our walk in the city and I wondered if the houses were organized like the boxes in the truck. An empty world that I explored until…

The clock screen again.

Around 2:30 AM.

It was the crashing point in the situation, the last straw. The screen turned darker and darker and I could hear Arrival’s cry.

I don’t like it. Even if it is just to a game, I don’t like to admit it. I don’t want it seen and rehashed over and over and over. My safest fantasies are upside down and unpleasant. I followed the creed that I was happy until I missed the train.

The day it happens is the day I’m forgiven but it cannot happen in the safety of this room. I can only be just as evil.

Are the others the same? I don’t know. By the time the games get to me, there is such a big lump of things that it all just unravels back to nothing.

She was screaming her heart out because I couldn’t be trusted. Because I was failing my sole objective as a person. It stung and I curled up like a bug, with the heat of the old laptop against my belly.

And she made the decision.

An alarm played all of a sudden and I blinked, having been dragged back to reality.

A bedroom- the protagonist’s bedroom, as if the game had just started.

I checked the clock again and it was as it should be- and then, my pokémon.

Two Bad EGGs. New messages:

“Looks like it wants to live anyway.”

A mercy.

I went downstairs, to an empty room and another pop up- this time strange, placed on the very center of the screen rather than on the bottom:

“...?! ARRIVAL isn’t here! Let’s find him before ? blooms!”

You know, flowers are pretty common when I am given a game. They grow between the cracks and I can’t help it. I reckon is because of the garden. I took care of it myself and it got me out of the way of others. I watched them grow into their colors.

I don’t know if it still exists today. Maybe it has been overtaken by wilder plants… or maybe she uprooted it all, finishing the removal of myself from her life.

I treated it as a game of hide and seek rather than strictly an emergency.

Outside, the people had all turned to strange groupings of black lines, changing shape with their movements. I talked to them, and they would all comment on “these strange eggs”.

Its okay. They are odd. Let them try their best, clawing for the surface. Give them a chance, don’t give up on them yet.

And so I went, into houses, suspicious corners, up routes, into grass, tracking down my poor friend.

That is when I met Wally for the second time.

He stood there, in front of the Normal-type gym. The lights dimmed as I approached, and the scribbled streetlights returned to my sight.

“Oh, it’s you. I found your ARRIVAL running here. Are you two okay?”

A yes or no prompt, to which I responded affirmatively.

“...”

“It’s really awful. Everyone was scared, you know? Every time someone new arrives, we learn more horrible things we can do nothing about.”

A new choice menu- but this time, all responses were flower tiles of every shape and size. Beautiful things opening up holes in the white, for me to choose.

“...Huh? Hey, those EGGs…?”

He stepped back and I pressed start.

More flowers for text.

And then, an egg hatching screen.

Both eggs, sprites overlapping but desynced. Shaking, moving. The camera zoomed in, little sparkles like snow on top, falling around as the shell gave way to petals and leaves and thorns and all these undiluted emotions rushing into the mix, afraid to disappear.

The blooming remained on screen as everything returned.

Snow. Snow on the ground, on the ceilings, coming down in heavy layers as if trying to suffocate my darlings.

Trying to say no, no, it didn’t happen how you think it happened.

Trying to remind me I’m a liar.

Swelling up to the point where rather than tears I have excuses lined up.

Hey, I can’t feel pain. You know that? So what does it mean if I scream my heart out?

“Hey! What’s going on?”

He should have just left, but he didn’t. The keyboard was cold under my fingers. An alarm started to play, the same alarm I had up every day.

The seams made out of code started to burst.

They went down to the bottom and then…

The game reset on its own.

My meal arrived just then.

I can’t go back. I messed up one too many times. Sorry, I didn’t say anything before but it happens that I’m evil. This is nothing but a safe place to store evil people. Even if I could leave, I would have no place to return to. No one to be happy to see me. These are little sounds I make with my mouth and that’s all. My brain isn’t right. I wake up and pace, going in circles and coiling back to that day.

I went back to the game that night.

Rather than where I left off, I was in the middle of an unknown route. Snow still fell, but gently. The manifestation of game incompatible things, a sign of the later stages of infection.

My character was a mess of pixels in black and white, dragging flowers behind, as if cut from their usual animations in the world.

Opening the pokémon menu, the pokémon displayed as small things with shapes I did not recognize, but who were named the same thing: “Festival”.

Their summary revealed their shapes. A pair of Mew in a strange pose, almost translucent, looking oh so fragile. In that way, they were things. Things dragged by the current, making me colder by the second.

Music, somber and quiet, like a funeral march.

And then, Arrival. Standing at the edge of the screen and running off when I began to chase.

The road gave way to tall grass, cut like a maze where he was hard to spot. I pursued, thinking to myself- it’s too cold! He’ll freeze!

Someone, please care about that.

No one is coming here to claim us back.

Someone, just follow. Just care, a little bit! Corners of the screen ripping, glitchy textures showing up, all towards my house. My real house in all its drab colors, with all the gardens, with homework and chores and sunrises and frozen food and mom.

The loud sound of Arrival’s cry snapped me out of it and I noticed him taking a fork in the road. I stopped there and its sprite span close to the warp, crying out for me.

I know it is all my heart hurting and beating in place, seeping into the fissures. I know, but it was still hard to agree to take that turn.

A beach. Sounds of waves, a gentle sky, sand mixing with unnatural snow.

Arrival scrambled over to Wally.

“Your time here… it is limited, isn’t it?”

I selected YES.

“I figured. That’s how it was with RETRY too.”

A pair of cries- Combusken and Kirlia.

“It would have been fun to just play with you… I’m sorry. I don’t think you are a bad person at all!”

But it’s too late.

It’s like I don’t even exist. No one is looking back on me.

I’m a fetal thing.

“Say… in this time we have left… Instead of wandering around on your own… Why don’t you store your story with me? Something to let the future owners of this file know about you. So that you aren’t invisible anymore. So that someone knows.”

It took me a while to decide, but I did press yes.

So now, after writing this on paper, I’ll painstakingly write it in countless screens provided by the game. Wally interjects at times, and at one point, promises that he’ll be giving future players a way to read all this, that I don’t have to worry about that at all anymore. Just trust him. Trust everyone in this game because they do care about you.

Sometimes I stop, listening for steps outside. They’ll take this in my next meal.

I’ll miss this project.

I’ll miss Wally, whatever he was.

And I’m hoping that whoever you are, you will understand the rest of this ROM as a message in a bottle, rather than a curse.

#pokepasta #pokemon creepypasta #pokemon

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nalyra-dreaming · 1 year

Note

Sorry to be party pooper when you were theorising and having fun, but I think I need to vent.

Anyway, we all can agree that this fandom has recently gotten a very toxic discours/discussion environment which just sucks. I mostly blame the writers for this, mostly because of ep 5. Not only did this add to obvious power imbalance between loustat, but also did make POC and especially black audiences understandable very uncomfortable. Not only possibly by the relationship (that is supposed to be endgame!) but also of Lestat (a future “hero” of the story).

As a white person I obviously cannot comprehend what it must have felt to see that from a racial standpoint, but it was very upsetting to see from my point of view alone.

Now, there are of course debates on if that scene were “out of character” for Lesta or not…I am still debating over that. (I mean, show!Lestat is a bit different from book!Lestat after all?)

What I find most frustrating about ep 5 is just “did they not think?!”. No but really, what did they think that was going to look like? How people would react and feel? Like??? How??? They didn’t at least have to make the DV so severe and brutal, especially when they have such powerful dynamics to portray. Right?

Idk. Maybe I am just salty because I really just recently joins this fandom (for real) that I thought would be chill and a safe place for many people and meanings discussions…and then there is this black cloud that didn’t have to be here in the first place. I feel frustrated for everyone😕

... I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated by all of it. *hugs*

Still - welcome to the fandom?! 💕

*sighs* So this is difficult. I can understand the frustration, I knew when I watched this would hit the fan, so to speak.

BUT. I have talked about it, too, several times, how this episode served other purposes (imho). In this post there's two articles linked by Linda Codega, which I recommend reading. I can link more posts by @showmey0urfangs and others on this, too, if you're interested.

The show... puts its finger into wounds, and worries them. Lestat does abuse. Lestat does rape. Lestat does force-feed. Lestat chops off digits. Canonically. He doesn't do that to Louis, canonically. Which is, imho, exactly the point.

By making it happen to Louis, and in this way, it forces us to look. By using certain imagery it gets waaaaaay beyond our comfort zone. On purpose.

However, in the context of the story(!) and here's the catch to it all - we do not know if it happened. It's a tale, and one deliberately torn apart in the end. Throwaway lines of episode 1 come back, to suddenly make sense and hint at the truth. Continuity errors and the very way people are held build parallels. I'm saying it again, this show does details, and it does not serve to conflate the issues imho.

And one thing re the writers and what they say: Imagine you're doing those big arcs, with full knowledge of the Chronicles, and the way you want to shake the narrative up... and then the season gets split. And you get asked why you did episode 5 the way you did. And you cannot say anything re the reveal in episode 7. You cannot say anything re what's to come in season 2, what you've been planning for (now) episode 12. You cannot say anything in regards to the parallels you've set up, or what Armand did (or not). Your viewership is mostly unaware of what's in the books (there was a poll the other day, like only 20%? have read a few books?!), as the reactions to Louis / Armand have plainly shown imho.

So what do you say?

This is not to defend them btw. I do think some of the answers especially by Rolin were... well. (And the missing content warning is its own fuck up.) But I also think that this is something that has to be factored in as well. Because of course they do not wish to give their game away.

Imagine if people (I am included here) are correct with episode 5, that the latter half of that "fight" was a modified memory, because something like this happened between Armand and Lestat, but not Lestat and Louis. As a writer, getting asked re the cloud gift... what could you say? You couldn't say "well, we're building a parallel for the big showdown in season 2, when Armand throws Lestat off a tower and later Armand is thrown off a roof by Lestat". And you cannot say "well, there's this scene in TVL, which will be in season 3, where Armand force-feeds on Lestat, and Lestat then beats him to a pulp and drags him by the throat". You just cannot say that, because it would the give the game away, at least to those who do not know the books?

And yes, I am aware that this is (book-canon based) speculation, and that we'll see.

But given the setup of the interview in Dubai you cannot even trust that part of the tale :)) Much less what is narrated. Which makes the OOC discussion void imho. We haven't seen the real Lestat, the real Louis, or the real Armand yet.

We haven't seen anything objectively true yet. Except maybe Daniel's apartment in the beginning^^.

So.

Feel free to come in and rant at anytime :)) But... personally... I think there is much, much more to it than the DV discussion alone, or the OOC discussion alone. And if that is actually true... then we're watching the show of the decade unfold. A true piece of art. And art... can be challenging.

Still. Said that before, too - I could do with less toxicity in the fandom, too. Especially on these so important and difficult subjects. I would prefer we could discuss them in a productive manner. But maybe that will only need ... time and perspective, (right, Louis)^^.

#asks #iwtv #interview with the vampire #fandom #I guess #future season speculation #ask nalyra

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

Note

[TW: sex discussion, consensual underage sex mention, CSA as a concept]

I don't get my deal with sexuality and I'm starting to realize I behave like a survivor except I have no memory of anything of that nature, and I was wondering if anyone could shed light on why I'm like this or how I could find out the truth?

As a child I masturbated constantly and had an intense curiosity about anything sexual, but I also had a major fear of pedophiles and didn't want to be left alone with an adult even my own family - I read a lot including newspapers so I can't tell if something happened that I repressed or just being so aware of sex crimes as a concept gave me that paranoia.

The older I've gotten (I'm 27) the more confusing sexuality has become - as an autistic person the stigma around disabled folk and sex has been a constant weight, but I genuinely was a 'late bloomer' irt attraction to others and I'm still pretty lukewarm. I had sex once at 15 with my then-gf and I just went numb and dissociated even though I wanted to do it, since then I've only had LDRs and it scares me if I meet my current bf irl the same thing will happen as it's already wildly variable when I enjoy sexting and when it just makes me anxious. I once had a sobbing panic attack when he wanted to do stuff on skype (which I'd done before just fine) and that doesn't happen to a healthy adult, right? He's not overly pushy, just has a more normal drive than me, but when he initiates I never know how I'll react and I hate he has to deal with that.

I'm a trans man, and frankly if I got to go on T the change I'd be most excited for is my sex drive increasing so I won't feel so freaky as I'm always skating a line between sexual and repulsed, feeling uneasy hearing people I follow discuss their sex lives and seeing most NSFW content besides stuff that doesn't involve another real person like written fantasies or 'character x reader' content. I have a decent amount of fictional/famous crushes and self-contained fantasies to an extent that occasionally verges on hypersexual and I still masturbate a lot, so asexuality doesn't seem like the answer, besides every asexual I know loves who they are when I detest being this way.

If nothing happened I should be more normal, but I can't remember anything of that nature and it hurts to not have an explanation. I just don't wanna be broken and weird and afraid when I'm not sure I even have an excuse to act like this and if I do I don't know how I could ever find out.

Hi anon,

It's important to remember that everyone's experiences with sexuality are unique, and it's okay if you don't fully understand your own feelings and behaviors around it. You may not have experienced sexual trauma, but if you have, it could be repressed.

I want to preface by saying that when it comes to exploring possible trauma, it's essential to have the guidance and mediation of a mental health professional such as a therapist. Someone with expertise in this area could get a better sense of who you are, what you've been through, and help you explore some possible trauma. It can be very dangerous to your mental health to dig around for potentially repressed memories, because memories that are repressed are repressed for a reason. If you find something you aren't psychologically and emotionally prepared to handle, that could have a great impact on your mental health and safety (from yourself). But also, if you for whatever reason don't have trauma, it would be similarly dangerous to implant the notion that you do. And so, a therapist would be able to assist you further in finding out whether or not you have trauma, and how to process that in a healthy way.

A question that I find helpful to ask for individuals who are trying to understand sexual behavior they displayed as a child is, where did you learn what you were doing? Because while it may be expected for a pubescent child to masturbate, it's less expected for a prepubescent child to masturbate. Respectively, while "Stranger Danger" is often shoved down children's throats, it doesn't necessarily explain your major fear of pedophiles, which makes me wonder, how did you know what they were? These may be questions you don't have the answer to, and that's okay, but these could be things to explore with the help of a professional.

I also just want to say that it's okay to identify as asexual if you feel the term is fitting for you, even if you feel hypersexual at times (I'm also ace). Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, meaning to someone in particular, which means that you can still enjoy sexual acts sometimes, they just aren't necessarily centered around a specific person. You may also already know, but asexuality is a spectrum ranging from sex-repulsed to sex-positive, and it's okay to fluctuate between these. If you feel that trauma has a role in your sexuality, you may resonate with the term caedosexual.

Please know that you are not broken or weird for having these feelings and experiences. It's okay to take the time to explore and understand your own sexuality, and seeking support from a professional can be a helpful step in that process.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw sa #tw csa

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emmaofnormandy · 2 years

Photo

~Protecting the damsel: Obi-Wan Kenobi is lady Mary Tudor’s guardian.. (part III)~

Mary was dinning with her half younger sister, making sure her well fare was in check. They had a pleasant conversation about mundane matters as well as that of their father. It did not escape the oldest of the two that Elizabeth, whilst eager to be restaured properly in royal favor, resented the absence of their father, who always took a long time to summon them at court.

“I’m sure he’s occupied with matters that go sometimes beyond our understanding”, said Mary. “Do not fret, he has both of us and our brother in his heart.”

Yet, she understood well that sentiment that crossed her heart and could not help but feel it too every once in a while. She remembered once how she told his councilors that she was no bastard. If he believed she was one, why wouldn’t he say it in her face?

The dinner went well and lady Elizabeth asked her sister to stay a little longer, but Mary had no plans to spend more than one night in Hatfield as she had business to attend in her lands located at East Anglia.

“But you are always in my prayers, Elizabeth. On that I assure you.”

As she gazed upon her younger sister’s eyes, so dark like her mother’s, Mary felt as if she was inevitably brought upon to Anne Boleyn’s inheritance. However, to cast the shadow of a long distant past to an innocent was not part of Mary’s nature. We are both motherless and, to a certain extent, fatherless.

The price we pay for carrying the Tudor blood is always too high.

A thought that never made out to her lips.

***

Obi-Wan found out there were Sith agents in betwist the noblemen at the royal household of his princess’s father, which might complicate the things more than he’d like.

He could not abandon lady Mary and leave her exposed to the attack of his enemies, but could he sit and wait for the right moment to defeat these darkling creatures?

Anxious as he was to solve the matter quickly, he decided to employ a man of his trust who was part of Lady Mary’s entourage and request him to move London right away in order to prevent conspirators to cause the downfall of Queen Katheryn and, by extent, remove lady Mary of her birth rights.

There were more to it than he’d let it show but until his princess was summoned to court, he could not leave his station abandoned. Therefore, in spite of himself, he stayed overnight. Eventually, though, lady Mary had him inside, once she provided him chambers and food. In respect to the memory of Chapuys, she was treating the Jedi Knight with the respect he earned in so little time. But there was also something alluring in regards to his person that she could not tell what was that exactly.

“It has been a long day, Master Kenobi”, said she. “I pray you have not gotten yourself bored that quickly.”

He chuckled softly . There was a moment where their eyes lingered in an exchange of glances, but Obi-Wan distracted himself with wine. He could not get lost in those eyes. He cleared his throat.

“Not at all, Your Highness”, said he at last. “I got myself acquainted with the surroundings . Must I say that the landscape here is very lovely to one’s eyes.”

“The countryside has such a beautiful scenario, out of the chaotic world we are in”, said Mary, in her own contemplations. Then she turned her eyes to Obi-Wan with a melancholic air that the Jedi Master could sense through the Force. “If I could switch positions, I dare say I’d live contently being a peasant.”

Obi-Wan sometimes had difficulties to remember that things operated in a different manner in this Earth planet. For a start, people there seemed to know very little the concept of Republic.

“Would you, my lady?”

He knew it was bold of him to express his thoughts, but in that moment he saw no harm and neither did Mary, who laughed quietly.

“A good observer, aren ‘t you, Master Kenobi?”

Obi-Wan smiled. But in many ways, there was something about her that reminded him of his old flame, the Duchess. The mere reminder Mary may unintentionally evoked without knowing it was enough to ache the older man’s heart. Nonetheless, he concealed well.

“I would like to know more of you, my lord. You seem very quiet and introspective. Dutiful, but also not as ambitious as many men of your position would be”, said Mary, intrigued.

The Jedi had to be careful with what he’d tell her, but he knew how to play that game he often played in a far, far away galaxy.

“My lady, I am bound to the vows of knight. Nurturing ambition is not part of these vows even though I had the unfortunate path crossed by such men.” He smiled. “All I genuinely care is for your safety. I am a peacemaker by nature and will always be so.”

They were now walking slowly, passing by a long and empty corridor. The moonlight was perceivable through a stained glass of the household, but they both paid little attention to it.

“You seem to have been well trained to this task”, observed Mary. “But how did it start? When did you think about becoming the knight you’ve now become?”

That was a difficult question, to which only an embellished answer could please his princess. The truth itself would not be possible to be told: in fact, humankind of that planet was completely unaware there were other civilizations far ahead in morals and with problems of their own. Very carefully, Obi-Wan, who was not in Earth for the first time, knew how to tell the story of his background without raising suspicious.

So that was when he told lady Mary about his childhood, the moment he felt the Force (which he translated to a Catholic language that his mistress would comprehend and which he saw how much it pleased her to be told) and how Qin-Gon Jinn was the responsible for knighthood. All of this required a good change of names and backgrounds, but he already told this to many men before his lady so that proved not being difficulty. Yet, he felt a fang of guilty dig right into his conscience.

Why does it feel so wrong?

“I hope your lordship knows how much your presence is appreciated”, said lady Mary once they were close to her bedchambers. Obi-Wan could feel a sort of attachment forming, but he did not wish to think about it. He bowed, praying to be wrong in his assumption.

“I appreciate, Your Highness. I am here to serve.”

She extanded her hand and Obi-Wan took it to her lips, where he pressed a kiss. This time, her soft porcelain skin left an unimagined effect on him. Mary seemed to notice it, for a slight smirk curled upon her lips as their eyes meet.

But Obi-Wan was too aware of his vows to let them slip... He stood regally and did not take more of her time to say goodbye. As Mary went indoors, she felt her heart ache. Why every time happiness was close to a grasp she felt it slip away from her fingers?

That night, Mary was haunted by old scars, so she wept. Even though he was in a distant bedchamber, Obi-Wan felt her pain. He closed his eyes and meditated, but to his consternation, that feeling would not leave him so soon...

***

Mary and Obi-Wan would not see each other properly until her return to East Anglia as he decided to occupy himself with overseeing the carriage and horses whilst the princess said goodbye from her sister and was accompanied from her trusted ladies and servants, joined by other men as they made their way back home.

Once there, each had their tasks to occupy themselves when news of a conspiracy reached their ears. Obi-Wan was once more requested to be at the princess’s side, though he wished to be in field in order to check the threat. Lady Mary told him he was not permitted to leave her side.

“I cannot risk be exposed to danger, Master Kenobi”, said she.”I understand my position is questionable right now. I must be preserved at all custs...”

He knew it was also a matter of pride. Her rights to legate the crown were in perilous game and so far Obi-Wan could tell she was a great player. There were more than saw the eyes, but he aquiesced to what he knew...and what he perceived.

“I will not question Your Highness’s decisions. I am not here to judge them, but I could be useful in defeating those conspiracists”, argued Obi-Wan.

But Mary could be very stubborn in letting go people that grew dear to her.

“Please, Master Kenobi. Your service will be more useful by staying here.”

“Of course, my lady. I am merely your servant.” He bowed.

Mary wished she could tell him otherwise, but instead she took hold of her scapulate and kept herself in silence. These weeks would test not only her patience but also her good will and faith.

Obi-Wan eventually figured it out how the conservative party led by the Catholics who sought to remove Queen Katheryn out of her post as consort to King Henry were defeated. But it all seemed the result of something far deeper and dangerous than one might assume as confirmed by Master WIndu who later contacted him to tell about the whereabouts of Sith agents who were nearly successful in taking control of the realm of England.

“Short story cut, as you understand we have good loyalists here”, said Windu. “Even though they don’t agree with the monarchy system, they are here to defendi it.”

“Oh the irony”, mumbled Obi-Wan.

But the other male did not smile. “One more thing, Kenobi. I expect you to return soon. The princess is safe and sound, her position has been restaured and there are so far no threats to her life anymore.”

He understood it, of course, but somehow he felt his duties would break his heart again.

“When should I leave?”

“Before winter begins”, said Windu.

***

Mary was at the gardens reading Arthurian stories to her ladies when Obi-Wan showed up. The princess was quick to dismiss them, though her cousin Margaret Douglas was allowed to stay... which she did, though in secretive giggles, as she was well aware of the feelings the princess harboured to the handsome knight.

“Master Kenobi”, said she more cheerfully than intended. Obi-Wan could not help a smile. “I thought I’d not see you today.”

“Unfortunately I had been busier than I thought, my lady. Hence my abscence”, explained he. “I pray to find you well this day?”, he inquired.

Obi-Wan offered his arm for her to take and as she did, he noticed she was not wearing the frenchhood that day, taking notice how her locks were as red as his.

“You do, my lord, and I appreciate it for you to ask it. And yourself?”

He nodded his head slightly. Her presence was so alluring and mesmeraizing, though his pride would forbid him to acknowledge it even to himself.

“I am in good spirits today, yes. I notice you are reading a different novel today. What is it if I may ask?”

As she spoke fondly of this King Arthur and his noble knights, earning so far a comparison to Lancelot, Obi-Wan knew that, however he wanted to spend as much as time as he could with her, he had to deliver the news soon. Noticing he was not joining her in the brightest of moods, lady Mary inquired her friend if there was something wrong.

Once they deepened the pace in the gardens, Obi-Wan took her hands in his and finally told him he was expected to leave so soon. Mary reacted with shock as he expected. But it did not surprise him to see the attachment between them, however subtle, was suddenly exposed to his own heart to deny it now.

“I... I was not expecting it your mission to end so soon, Master Kenobi”, said lady Mary in an astonished whisper.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness. It is what it is.”

She smiled, but sadness in it broke his heart. “My ancestor, king Edward III, had one of his mottoes with the same inscription. It is what it is. But I pray to receive news from you, my lord.”

He could not give her any promises, not when he knew the truth. “I will try”, was all he said.

Lady Mary understood well what this was meant, but being reasonable, could she expect otherwise?

“I got used to your presence”, was all she ever said.

Obi-Wan took her hand and allowed to slip his fingers in hers, giving a small squeeze.

“As I got used to yours, my lady.” He then took of his rings and placed in her right finger. “Please, wear this and remember of these moments spent together.”

She swallowed the tears, prompting a smile to grace her full lips.

“Of course.” With no one to see it, she inclined forward and pressed her lips against his. “And may this be the gift you carry to yourself when you depart, Master Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, enjoying the taste of her lips for the moments they sealed a secret promise in a chastise kiss. As he opened, his heart sank.

“Duty is the death of love.”

Words that lady Mary would carry to her... And from that moment on, they followed different paths to never be seen again..

***

Epilogue.

Earth was once again involved in the catastrophic war between the Jedis and the Sith. Once more, Obi-Wan Kenobi’s mission led him there, to Tudor England. To his despair, England was broken than years before, when he left his protegée safe and sound.

As he moved to Palace St James in order to pursuit Darth Maul, Obi-Wan came to find a place close to mourning. Whispers reached him and he sensed a disturb in the Force.

Disguised as a priest, Obi-Wan did not take so long to find out his lady Mary became queen and that was she the one to lay dying, abandoned by all those she cherished in life, though she was surrounded by her usual loyal ladies-in-waiting.

Usually, he’d not meddle. Usually, Obi-Wan would stay away. Matters as these were out of his reach, but the queen once possessed his heart, and her grasp he could never let go. Seeing in such pain brought him out of himself.

“Mary!” he stepped in between the dames, not minding how he would be perceived. Not even the Siths and their chaos could distract him right now. He never thought... She was so young! And healthy! How on earth...? “Mary, please awake! Tell me you breathe!”

Mary had been in constant pain and grief with little moments in her life where she did not know misery. Yet, the Lord seemed to give her His mercy for when she was this close to lose conscience and dwell in what was long gone and could not be recovered, she heard his voice.

The voice of her beloved.

“Master Kenobi?” her voice came out almost as if his name choked out. “Am I in Heaven?”

But his hold to her was real. She grasped onto him as much as he did to her, both weeping. The scene moved all others who watched that strange reunion.

“No. I’m real. I’m here. I did not know I left you in such state... Please forgive me, Mary”, he let out a sob.

Hearing him speak to her granted the peace she always sought.

“I’m sorry for disappointing you, Obi-Wan”, she said in a painful voice. “I was a terrible queen. I was not made for happiness.”

His sobs grew louder, though sounded distant for her.

“Do not say these things, Mary. I love you.”

Mary felt tears rolling out of her eyes. As they stared into each other’s eyes, they realized a little too late they belonged to each other. Much like Mary’s great-great grandmother Katherine de Valois belonged to her Welsh Knight, Owain Tudor.

“I love you”, he said it again, holding her against him.

“I love you too, Master Kenobi.” She smiled softly. “I will always love...”

And her breathing became too heavy to bear, suddenly overcame by the desire of rest, which soothed her pain. The remaining words were stolen by her last breath and Obi-Wan would never recover himself after losing his beloved princess.

Duty was the death of love, after all...

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partyinthemysterymachine · 1 year

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Bro tell me more abt Snow on Mt. Silver it sounds cool and yes ik I can go read it myself and all but I think it'd be more fun coming from you

TURNS HEAD AROUND LIKE OWL

oh. oh u sure. u sure wanna open That Box then LEMME JUST

TAKES A DEEP BREATH

OK SO

the way the creepypasta goes (from my memory) is generally how it always do: Haunted Cartridge, sorta. Hacked.

a girl and her little brother love pokemon games, they also dig the hacked shit. brother was playing a hacked version (or smth, gameshark’d) of Gold when he suddenly flipped out, had to be admitted to the hospital For Sudden Onset Of Crazies, and was blaming the game. girl’s like Huh and boots up the alleged Crazy-Baker 9000 Simulator (Pokemon Edition) and finds what’s now known as Easter Egg Snow On Mt Silver

oh yeah that’s like. the official title. its full title is Easter Egg - Snow on Mt. Silver.

protag character trainer Gold - named Blake in this save file - is on Mt Silver, a snowy mountaintop where Trainer Red (the same from Pokemon Red) absconded to to train his pokemon in isolation after becoming champion.

Red’s been AFK for years at this point, talking to exactly no one, just fucked right off. i haven’t played Gold so idk if this is post-game content (i think it is) but you can go to Mt Silver and battle Red normally.

however, with this hacked game, you open up to being on Mt Silver and the screen is just swathed in static snow. (haha get it?) it’s hard to see anything in there, but you have a full team of pokemon, starting with a Typhlosion (fire). if you try to turn back into the cave entrance behind you, Blake will make comments like “it’s too late now” “i can’t go back” “it’s too late to go back”, and so you can’t leave.

you have a Pidgeot and try to use Fly, but you can’t fly out of that weather. only one way to go, and it’s up. so you guide Blake up the mountain but damn it’s slow moving; and i mean, you’re in snow, so.. it makes sense, right? and it gets slower and slower to move him, but as you’re climbing, Blake stops, and you get a notification that: “I’m cold.”

then you keep walking. then a notification that Meganium has died. what the fuck??? open up the party, and sure enough�� him ded. it’s got a red X on it even the sprite’s all fucked up ten ways to sunday, even the cry’s all distorted!! well shit. might as well check on Blake's sprite too huh in his trainer ID?? .. hm well. looks kinda pale but. sorta ok i guess. normal.

as you advance, you get another notification. Pidgeot has died. Lucia has died. all one after the other until it’s just Typhlosion left and you’ve gone into the next cave at the top. it’s a long hallway, no snow, but it leads you to a platform. now from what I understand, that’s where you generally meet Red to battle him in the normal game, but here, there’s a pokeball. go and touch it :)

oh no it’s Celebi! —fucked up Celebi!! mfer’s gotten George Foreman grilled on one side, man it looks rough. but it doesn’t even let you battle, it doles out Perish Song (a Move that faints both the user and opposing pokemon in 3 turns) and there’s a horrific AOL dial-up bastard child noise singing the perish eardrums song of her people. Blake faints but doesn’t get a lfit off the mountain, instead he reappears in a dark dark room in a dark dark hall (haha see what i did there) and checking his trainer ID card..

.. dude lookin fukt the fukt UUUUPPPPP. he’s missing one leg, missing an arm (on the other side), missing an eye, black tears, the whole of him either ghost white or tinted blue. our mans Jack Dawson back in pokeblack (wrong this is gold. pokemon black is a different pokepasta before actual pokemon black. long story) (but also depending on the fan version of the game your lil sprite on screen will also be missing a leg and arm so u can just watch his cute little fat self hobble up the hall it’s great)

as you guide him up he’ll pause and say “It’s so cold” “Mother…..” “It feels so cold” “I can’t go on” every now and then and get slower and slower and slower, the hall darker and darker, then there’s an exit at the top (again, depending on fan game, it’s either pure white or flashing)

DAYUM IT’S WHITE AF OUT HEERREEE you’re in the Void. just walk it’s fine. oh look it’s Red. as per usual Red greets you with an exuberant monologue (“…”) and a battle starts.

every single one of Red’s party is one of the same sort of fucked up looking dead sprites you see in YOUR party. you only have Typhlosion left and he’s got 6 health. every single one of Red’s pokemon uses struggle, which does 1 damage to you, and murderized the user (“Venusaur has died!”) all Red has to say about it is “………..” like a true fuckin salt-lickin’ champ, vagueing Blake to the very end here i salute you big guy, and basically you just go through his entire team until….

FREAKACHUUUU BABBAAEEEYYYYY

so freakachu uses Pain Split which well. evenly splits the damage dealt, which ultimately kills Typhlosion as well as Freakachu and ends the battle. when Red comes back onto the screen, he too has lost an arm, leg, his whole-ass jaw, and got some gut removal surgery going as well.

it goes back to your two sprites. Red finally pipes up and says, “It’s over.” and then the screen says “ USED DESTINY BOND!” and once again we are treated to aaaaaAAAÁAEEUUAAÄAGZZZĖEEEEEAAAEAEEEEAZZAAEEEEEæaAÃEEEEGGeeeęeeeeEEÉÈË to take home wiht us and the screen goes black.

c’est fini. the girl takes the game and the gameshark and just pitches the mfer. checks the gameboy to make sure it’s not all just fucked up, relieved when pikachu is still a lil preppy mfer in a different game she has, happy-trauma-cries about it.

that winter, however, the snow fell thick.

aannndd THAT’S the gist of Easter Egg - Snow on Mt. Silver!! you can ofc read the entire thing and there are fan games out there (links n stuff at end) but now about fnf lullaby. FNF = Friday Night Funkin’, which is a rhythm game; a lullaby comes from the pokepasta Hypno’s Lullaby, a rhyme based off the official pokedex entry for Hypno that’s uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

well the pokemon company had fun with it at least and released an actual shirt about it

now i’m not going to get into fnf lullaby (and fnf lullaby v2) other than say that fnf lullaby is a whole mod for fnf based off of pokepastas. there was a song in the first version of the mod called Monochrome (that people just LOVE playing because the mechanics are SO fun and easy :) ) that was based off ANOTHER pokepasta for Gold (trainer name Ethan), that got a Snow on Mt Silver mod for a minute there.

but then lullaby v2 had a full ass song for mt silver called Frostbite.

but. god i’m so good at staying on track lmao. idk. there’s something special about snow on mt silver. i have my own ideas about it, but this has gotten wildly long as it is, so perhaps later LOL but until then, here are some links <3

ORIGINAL POKEPASTA

fangame 1 (ORIGINAL) (SEIZURE + VOLUME WARNING)

fangame 2 (recent) (SEIZURE + VOLUME WARNING)

fnf lullaby Frostbite

fnf lullaby Frostbite fanmade animation + song (SEIZURE WARNING)

fnf lullaby Monochrome, Mt Silver Edition

THX FOR UR INTEREST AND QUESTION AND I HOPE U ENJOYED THAT AND ALL THIS CHEERS ILUUUU XOXOXOXO

#ches writes #pokepasta #snow on mt silver #easter egg snow on mt silver #fnf lullaby #mt silver #creepypasta #KISSING U

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scuopsie · 9 months

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HI!!! it’s been too long. i’ve missed chatting with you! i’m doing alright. i moved into a new apartment (i’m not liking it as much now that i live in it sadly) and started grad school. my head is spinning a bit, but i’m staying positive (mostly lol)

how are you??

i’ve never watched an idol survival show. i’ve definitely heard lots of positives and negatives about them, mostly negatives though when it comes to comments about the experiences of groups i’m a fan of now.

i can understand that. i got into monsta x in 2020, and i remember feeling less of a connection when i really dug back into their discography. fatal love is what solidified me being a monbebe along with tracks like destroyer.

that’s so valid omg. i’m definitely curious about how that time was when wonho was still part of mx. reading your tags was so enlightening for me because suddenly things started making sense. i remember watching so many funny moment compilation videos three summers ago and being a bit confused because i couldn’t find similar content that was recent. i’m glad i was able to enjoy vlive content before its end, but what i did see was totally different from what you described from years ago… so formal. i’m not surprised that shifts happened in the fandom too, and it sucks that we lost the ability to enjoy the authenticity older lives provided. (i remember melting over the kihyun cooking moments ☹️ the man he is. i could talk about him all day) no doubt that enhances the fan experience

also, who is mira? i may follow them, but not sure >.< i want to follow all the monbebes

-🚇

It has🥺 ive missed chatting with you too!!! Ahhh moving is always hard even if ur new place is perfect ;;;; congrats!!! Looks like we're both doing kinda similarly jdjfkf i dont think ive mentioned this on my blog before but i also got into grad school and am currently anxiously waiting for my student visa so i can move my ass across the globe...

Yeah 0/10 dont recommend kdkfkd like i totally get the appeal of being with a group from the beginning and seeing their struggles and watching them grow can make the bond stronger but in my case ive always gotten to groups who are already well established and the members are older. Freshly debuting idols are pretty young (especially nowadays) and that is just not for me...

I got a small glimpse of ot7 in 2018🥺 I watched a bunch of mx ray and a lot of interviews and stuff from their promotion era (another thing ive noticed nowadays is the lack of interviews... like weekly idol and similar shows where promoting idols would go to and do a bunch of fun activities and occasionally get mistreated by asshole MCs🤡) and i cherish those memories very dearly. And shoot out was such a good era to experience...

#its so sad that we're never gonna experience those type of vlives again...#but the old ones arent completely lost!!!#a few ppl have created complete archives of them!!!#u can find them if u ask around!!!#i still watch some of their older varieties religiously...#like ILOGU mx in jeju... puppy day... mx daycare...#their appearances on kbob star are so entertaining to watch... seeing them inhale food like hungry soldiers who haven't eaten in months 🤣#easily 90% of our memes were from their unsupervised vlives and mxray #oh also before i forget!!!#mira is @ nuhoney1hunnit !!!#one of my favourite ppl on the hellsite and also in general <3 #speaking of kihyun cooking moment kdjfkdjdj #remember that time he stirred the food with a pen shaped like a tennis racket? kdjfkfj #tbh i rarely watched their vlives in the end... the were just sitting in an empty office talking and there werent subs #i got the good moments from twt with translations anyway #and i wouldnt have to see trolls in the comments either #it was just not the same...#ask #🚇anon

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bpdslut4 · 1 year

Text

Monday 4/17/23

My graduation ceremony is on Friday. I talked to the career services lady at the school and asked if she has anything part time. I don't think I could do full time right now. I don't want to become burnt once I graduate my secondary program and start working full time. But besides that I have noticed a few things about myself when I was catching up with my friend. I have different "masks" I put on when I'm with certain groups of people; of course they're all me but, different versions of me. And a lot of those "masks" can consist of me mimicking certain personality traits or interests of the groups as well. I don't know if it's to make people like me or just to blend in and seem normal? I don't consider myself normal. I have an odd sense of humor that people would dirty or offensive, I have different interests in shows and hobbies, I don't like the same music as them, I don't dress the same, etc. I know I'm not for everyone. It used to be worse where my personality used to just be a bunch of things I picked out from the people I was with most. That happens from time to time but not as much anymore. The only people I can't mask in front of are B and J (best friends) . I have a theory for this as well. B and J both mask when in certain groups as well. So when we're all together, there's no "correct" behavior or major interest to mask. All of us have been diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar or former bipolar at some point. And we're also all weirdos at heart.

These past few months I have been talking to and meeting a lot of people through dating apps, not to necessarily start dating but more to make friends and have more friends during the summer. I only have a few friends and if they aren't available then I don't have anyone to hangout with. And I have already made a few good platonic friendships already. But anyways back to what I was saying, I have been to talking to a lot more new people and have been putting a big effort into staying true to myself. And of course that means getting some no responses, but I have also gotten a lot of responses that give back the same energy. So you can understand my humor a little bit better, I will put some screenshots in the photo gallery.

I have been finding myself starting to go into a depressive episode and then stop and reel myself back in. In the moment I could recognize what it was triggered by. It was all triggered by nostalgic stuff, a certain song or smell. I don't know why but I find it silly to be triggered by such a silly song. It was "Bella's Lullaby" from Twilight. I used to be obsessed with Twilight when I was younger and everything seemed more simple, or I was just too naïve to understand what was going on. I had flashbacks of my childhood that I had seem to repress down but was brought back to the surface by the song. I only remember things in 3rd person from my childhood, all of my Twilight merchandise; like my bedspread, dolls, necklaces, etc. The memories were happy but also depressing. I crave to earn to be content but I haven't known that feeling since I was what? Maybe 12? I am so used to shitty thing happening to me, that when things are good and I should be content, I'm not. I'm almost searching for something else to be my problem and to solve. I was able to stop myself from spiraling though. I recognized that the song triggered and brought up a memory that made me feel an emotion I truly have not felt in a long time. And then I sat down and wrote this and came up with the previous reasons as to maybe why it causes such an intense reaction.

#cw vent #diary #bpd #bpd vent #bpd things #bpd thoughts

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iamchamarafdo · 1 year

Text

I am not looking for anything but to understand why!

I would appreciate it if you could read this whenever it is convenient for you; in it, I will explain the reasons why I am working so hard to connect with you.

I am going to be really honest..

We have random glimpses of the future, we are natural powerful manifestors, we understand the whole world better than the rest, we see the deception from mainstream and traditional Schools where we don't fit in, and we also cannot communicated within normal crowds of people because of our neurodiversity. I didn't know I was an indigo child until very recently. Indigo children are gifted children with heightened senses, empaths, starseeds, and ADHD. We seek to unite the world in 5D Consciousness

When I was a kid, I had this vivid dream about a person. The dream itself seemed extremely familiar, but the person in the dream was unidentifiable. Whenever I woke up, I wished I could return to that dream. Throughout the years, I have only come into contact with that individual twice or three times, but each time was extremely vivid and unforgettable; the experience was always enchanted, and I did not want to emerge from it.

Look, I usually remember who I follow on social media, and I have a very good memory; however, while I was browsing TikTok, I encountered your live streaming, and I even chatted with you; however, I know never had followed CreativeSociety; therefore, I was curious as to how and when I followed that account. During your live sessions, I chatted with you; therefore, I went solely out of curiosity into the site and watched content; your content vibes with me.

After that, I never bothered to watch your live streaming again. (You are really attractive, but I think every human being is beautiful.) That is a principle that I picked up from a friend, and it has been with me all these years. I wasn't the least bit interested, and I just didn't have the time to watch your channel. mostly because I was working on my own project, alongside only a few other indigo children.

I am a member of CS purely due to the fact that its vision is parralel to that of MyCity. If it does not contribute to making the world a better place, money has no value in my eyes. To this day, I am guided by faith, and because of my troubled history, I have absolutely detested money ever since 2007. I had the idea to help everyone around me become financially independent, that another interesting story to tell in the future.

I went to a couple of the Friday zoom sessions for new entrants, which is how I learned that there is a partnership and why I took the email from Jana.

To tell you the truth, I was quite impatient there as well, and after sending an email to contact them, I was told to wait and that someone will get in touch with me.

I am aware that there are many persons collaborating to connect with active participants, and that this task is allocated at random; hence, Olga, Polly, and you (Holy) were chosen at random to participate in this task. There was the possibility that someone else could have gotten in touch with me. I assume!!

I requested access to your Instagram account in order to connect with you and ensure that our XYZ family members are able to do the same. In addition, I followed both of you since I felt a stronger connection to you. I wanted to make sure the kids will connect with the right human beings because I am a bit skeptical with my own experiences. That is why I wanted to scan you and build the connection, as I recognize that the kids who are with me belong among a society that is mentioned in your project.

Getting to know you has made me feel as though I've known you for a long time. Just one simple message you send to me regarding the healing of your inner child was really beneficial to me because I was completely unaware of the topic. It wasn't until I saw a picture of you on Instagram that I realized why I was experiencing what I was till then.

I didn't want to mention it earlier because I don't know how you all perceive the world, and I didn't want to build our connection on that. I said to Polly that we are soul family because whatever you talked about made so much sense to me, and the person in my dream when I was a kid was you; she was fair and had the same color hair as you do wearing glasses, and I found that image on your Instagram. 2011 was the year of my most recent dream and visualization of it.

There are only a few children in our group, excluding myself, who have had recurring nightmares about a massive tsunami over the past few years; however, the frequency of these nightmares about natural disasters is increasing to the point where they occur on a weekly basis. I have had dreams about us providing medical care to a large number of people on our island. These are incredibly vivid dreams, full of vibrant color and sunshine, yet they also contain terrible things.

The kids will get in touch with CS directly.

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