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tsukibraun · 3 years

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Pragma Love; Jean Kirschtein x reader

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

type: series, blurb

summary: you and jean slowly develop feelings for each other over time, but you both quickly learn that love isn’t as easy as you thought

warnings: feelings of worthlessness (you get better in the end tho cause you’re a legend, obviously)

listen to: Crush- Yuna, Usher

part 1/2

read part 2 here!

Self-worth is a tricky thing. You have to know when to be humble and when to humble others. You have to be able to determine what’s just a small flaw in someone’s personality and what’s them trying to walk all over you. You have to have enough love and respect for yourself without becoming a complete narcissist. You have to know what type love you deserve and how to reject the love you don’t like. And when someone tries to challenge your worth, you have to be ready to honestly defend yourself.

This is something you’d struggled with for a long time. It wasn’t easy being able to discern people’s intentions or to come up with a reason for why they treated you the way they did. Yeah, sure, this person could just be a total jerk, or you could’ve done something to deserve the harsh treatment. Maybe you really hurt them without realizing; maybe they’re just reacting that way to defend themselves. They could be a bad person, but what if it was the other way around? You never wanted to assume anything about anyone, but in recent years you’ve learned that sometimes that’s what you have to do.

That was the first thing you noticed about Jean. You witnessed the fight he’d had with Eren in the lunchroom one night. They both retaliated back at each other, but there was something different about the way he was doing it. Eren was clearly angry and wouldn’t let someone challenge his opinions, but Jean- Jean was beyond confident. He wasn’t threatened at all by Eren or his opinions; in fact, it seemed Jean knew he was right, at least in his head, and didn’t mind letting someone know that. He was confident in himself, like he knew he’d come out as the victor; but even if he didn’t, you had a feeling he wouldn’t be too bothered by it. He seemed like the type to just be proud of making his point.

At that time, you couldn’t imagine getting into an argument like that with someone. If they disagreed with you, even if you were clearly right, you would just let it go. ‘There’s no reason to put up a fight’, you’d say, ‘they have a valid reason to think what they think’. Even if they persisted after you clearly would not retaliate, you’d either end up agreeing with them to get them off your back or just sit and take it. Confrontation wasn’t an option and must be avoided at all costs, even if you weren’t the one that started it.

That was the first thing Jean noticed about you.

You were very quiet and laid-back; you often didn’t say much when you guys were in groups. You would just sit back and listen, quietly laughing at jokes from time to time. You weren’t quiet forever, though. After a couple of months you started to open up more; not too much, but it was progress. Little by little you would start to engage in group discussion, agreeing with someone, cracking a joke, or adding to the conversation in general. He thought it was so weird. You clearly had a lot more to say but you just...didn’t. You always bit your tongue and let someone else say it, or just let the idea disappear entirely. He didn’t pester you at first, though. He wanted to see how you would come out on your own.

There was one night, though, where he was really irked by your shyness.

It was late the night before an expedition. You guys were supposed to be asleep by then, but the night before a mission is always a restless one. While some scouts were responsible enough to get some shut eye, you, Jean, Berdolt, Reiner, Mikasa, Eren, Sasha, Krista, and Ymir had other plans. All of you sat in the lunchroom, making casual conversation. It was simple things, like games you would play as kids, things you hated, funny stories from before you became scouts. Eventually, though, you began to discuss your current reality. At first it began with the EDM gear, talking about improvements, how hard it was to use, what you liked about it, etc. Then you came to the topic of Titans. Many different things were talked about here, but there was one question that made everyone tense up: If you could only save your family or fellow cadet, who should you pick?

Ymir asked this question, of course, smirking at the change in atmosphere. This was a very sensitive question for many reasons, but you didn’t think too much of it. Everyone is different with their own experiences and reasons for why or why they wouldn’t do certain things. Eren was the first to answer. “What kind of question is that? You’d save your family, obviously.” No one answered for a while, each person contemplating their answer. “Do you guys seriously have to think about this?” Eren pestered. Finally, Jean answered. “As much as I can’t stand you, Eren, I’ll have to agree with you on this one.”

Everyone else began to give their answers and it started a small debate, but you were still thinking. Jean wondered if you were just gonna sit this one out again, and honestly the idea irritated him. But to his surprise (and everyone else’s) you gave an answer. “I’d save the cadet.” Everyone went quiet and stared at you, somewhat because they were shocked you answered, and somewhat shocked of your answer. Eren in particular didn’t like it. “Are you serious? You’d pick a soldier over your own family?” The tone in his voice made you anxious, but you still decided to explain yourself.

“Well, it’s not like I don’t love my family or anything but...in most cases, the cadet is more important...in practical ways at least. I’d obviously try to save my family afterwards but-“

“How heartless are you?” He interrupted. You felt a lump form in your throat as you predicted the confrontation that was about to ensue. “How could you say that? A soldier is more important than your mother, then? Sister? Father?” You gulped, trying your best not to freak out in front of everyone. You took a couple seconds to make sure he was done before speaking again. “Well...I don’t really view you all as just soldiers,” you trailed off looking at your feet, “I do care about all of you. I don’t hold the people I care about one against the other. I care for each of them all the same.”

“So, in this certain scenario, although I would never want my family to die, saving the soldier is more practical. They’re an extra set of hands, skill, thinking ability- we all know how devastating it is to lose a soldier. Everything becomes incessantly harder. What if they were really needed for future fights? What if they were an important asset? And, if I were able to save them, they could help me possibly save my family.” You finally looked up for a second, seeing everyone’s reaction to your words. You immediately looked somewhere else so you could finish your point.

“Saving a cadet isn’t just saving them, it’s also saving the rest of us. If I were to go after my family, what other things would I miss? More Titans coming? A retreat?A change of plan? And even if I did save them, it’s another liability.” You finally looked Eren in the eyes, seeing his clenched fist and strong glare. “Unfortunately, in this world, we can’t always go after what we want. Sometimes we have to go after what we need, even if that means losing something we want. Our decisions don’t just affect us- they affect everyone.”

A long silence followed the end of your tangent. This was the most you’d ever said in one go, and they didn’t quite know how to take it. They didn’t know you had such detailed thinking, either. They shared glances with each other before some began to speak again. “You know,” Berdolt said rubbing his chin, “when you put it like that, I can see your point.”

“Yeah,” Krista agreed, “I’m not sure I would do the same thing, but I can see where you’re coming from.” Eren scoffed. “You guys are delusional. The only reason you’re agreeing with her is because you pity her.” You straightened up, palms sweating. He could be right; you saw the looks on their faces when you were done. They could just be trying to keep you from feeling dumb. Before you could say anything else, Jean came to your defense. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, cocking his head to the side and leaning forward.

“You know exactly what I mean,” Eren continued, “the girl never says anything!”

“And so what if she doesn’t,” Jean asked, “she’s not bothering you. Why do you care so much?”

“I don’t-“

“Then leave her alone,” he interrupted, “She’s allowed to have her own opinion just like the rest of us. If you’re gonna get that pissed about it, maybe you should go to sleep.” Eren quickly stood up, ready to fight with Jean again, but Mikasa quickly stopped him. You looked between the two of them not quite sure of what to do; you decided not to say anything more to Eren since you had clearly made him upset. Instead, you quietly tapped Jean’s arm and gave a quiet “Thank you.” He gave you a small smile. “Don’t mention it. You know, though,” he said leaning closer to you, “you really need to learn to stick up for yourself. You can’t be so quiet all the time or else stuff like this is gonna keep happening.” He was so close you swore he could hear your unsteady heart rate; still, you returned his word with a small smile and nod.

Ever since then, you two were close.

It wasn’t necessarily a closeness that was outwardly established between you two, it was just there. If he saw you getting anxious, depending on the situation, he would invite you over to where he was. If not, he would give you a certain look, similarly to asking if you were okay or telling you everything was okay. You sat close to each other during meals; if one of you had a smaller portion than the other, you would give a piece of your meal without saying anything. You made sure you were in eyeshot of each other, whether that be on an expedition or simple training. It wasn’t an obsessive thing, just comforting.

Being around Jean made you open up more. Slowly, you began to be okay with showing others who you were. You began to talk louder, laugh more, speak your mind (with tact, of course), and stand your ground. It wasn’t to Jean’s level, but it was there. You noticed other small differences, too. If you needed help with something, you weren’t afraid to ask for it. You could come into a conversation without overthinking it. You began to speak to other people first instead of waiting for them to speak to you. You could walk up to a group of people without feeling like you were intruding. You were able to really live, now. And it was with his help.

The more you came out of your shell, the more Jean absolutely adored you. Sometimes he would be the one to sit back and observe; he would watch you talk and laugh with everyone and be completely infatuated with you. Your laugh, your smile, your humor, your kindness, your little mannerisms; the more and more he was with you, the more he realized he was in love with you. Completely in love with you. So much so it actually started to hurt.

Although he loved being around you, knowing that any of the cadets could have a chance of sweeping you off your feet frustrated him. Since you came out, everyone noticed your charm. The boys had complimented you a couple times, to which Jean told them all to shut up. He wanted to tell you how he felt, and he eventually would, but he had no idea when. He had to use tact like you did so you wouldn’t be too shocked and reject him, but he wasn’t quite sure how. Although you two were close, he had no idea what you wanted in a guy, especially not how you’d want to be confessed to. You didn’t seem to want much from anyone, but there was a part of you he didn’t know yet; the romantic part- that part of you with anyone was completely closed off. He didn’t want to ask you, either, because it was clearly something you weren’t too comfortable talking about.

He had no idea what to do, which was a pretty rare occurrence, at least when it came to women. Either way, he was going to tell you. He just had to figure out when.

Meanwhile, you were completely ignoring your feelings for Jean. Although you were a lot more open with everyone, there were certain parts you kept from them, even from yourself. You noticed the butterflies in your stomach, a different type of longing for his presence, him popping up in your head at random times. You knew how you felt about him, but you continued to lie to yourself. “It’s nothing,” you’d say, “I’m just overthinking it.”

You’d noticed him staring at you with a certain look in his eyes; the way he’d smile at you, the way he’d purposely brush your hands together when walking by, him being more protective and watchful of you- it was little stuff, but clearly different than what it’d been before.

And you absolutely loved it.

You didn’t notice, but you began to do the same thing. Smiling at him if you saw him sleep, fussing at him if he ever got hurt, making sure he had everything he needed at all times, fixing his collar or hair when it was a mess; everyone else saw it except you.

One day you’d have to come to terms with how you felt, but until then, you’d deny the feelings every change you got.

***

uh...hi!! this is something pretty different from what i normally do 😅 i’m not too comfortable writing stuff like this but i’m trying my best! hopefully this was a nice introduction to this series. anyways, if you read all of it, thank you sm!! i can’t tell you how much i appreciate it. take care and stay safe!<333

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king-paimon · 3 years

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HnK Chapter 95 Thoughts: The cruelest chapter of all times

AKA: The chapter everyone hated

AKA: No happy ending in sight

AKA: Haruko Ichikawa is a monster

AKA: I called it again (and I wish I was wrong)

AKA: Talk about kicking someone while they’re down

Ms. Haruko Ichikawa. You’ve truly done it. You truly are a cruel, sadistic, trolling monster. You leave us with this chapter? This chapter that truly shows us that despite every hardship they faced, Phos gets nothing. This chapter shows that Phos was destined to be in constant misery, and to rub that in with literally everyone else is free and happy? And to add more salt to the wound, you’re leaving us on an hiatus for who knows how long??

This is without a doubt the cruelest chapter to leave us on and this is probably one of the cruelest things a mangaka can ever do for a series as intense as this. I wish the previous chapter was the last one for the end of this year because at least with that one, it would have given us some sense of something.

Man. I’m both horrified and amazed by you, Ms. Ichikawa. I’m not even being sarcastic, I’m truly in awe.

Ugh.

As you can see, I have several things I have to say about this and... Just wow. This chapter. In these posts, I try my best to try and write my thoughts with the most rational mindset but... I don’t know how well I’ll be able to do that with this chapter. What a way to end this horrible year.

But with this chapter’s ending and the implication for what is yet to come... this marks as the story’s descend to it’s bitter end, and I now wish I didn’t make that prediction last month.

I know I said in another post that I was going to write this in a few days, but I changed my mind. I’m getting this out now while my thoughts are still fresh in my mind. Please don’t mind the writing errors, I’m very tired, I’m writing this at 3 in the morning and I need to sleep. I promise I will come back to this and tidy it up later.

Anyways, here we go:

Haruko Ichikawa: Manipulator of emotions

Ms. Ichikawa really toyed with us with this chapter. So many things happened in such a short amount of time and I’m trying to process it. Also, doesn’t feel like too much happened in this chapter? Especially in comparison to the previous chapters, where everything was stretched out, to then have this chapter have so many things happen all at once. This chapter, in many ways, feels very rushed... and this style of story telling has me very worried about what’ll happen from here on out. I’ll talk more about what I mean by this later, but for now, let’s focus on the story of this chapter:

So... Antarctictite is back now. Adamant is back, too. So are most of destroyed gems, both the ones we knew and the ones we never got meet. And they are all now Lunarians... Hm.

I don’t like this or anything in this chapter for many reasons. In fact, I’ll go as far to say that I don’t like where the whole story is headed for these same reasons:

The first reason: The emotional turmoil from the previous chapters

For the past 10 or so chapters, I’d been anticipating the destruction of the gems and Adamant. I was one of the people who didn’t like the idea of it happening, though I knew they kind of deserve it. And I remember how sad I was seeing Adamant turn to nothing but dust and seeing how everything was affecting Phos after the bloodlust ceased.

But it all led up to...this. In the very next chapter, after watching those heart wrenching scenes of the gems being broken down and Adamant’s last moments with Phos...we see him and the other gems being brought back like it was nothing. And on top of that, they are totally happy Lunarians now. Yeah. Okay.

So it feels like the emotional tole that I felt for these characters I didn’t want to see get destroyed...meant nothing. Not going to lie: I kind of wish you all stayed destroyed.

And you know what? It’s kind of funny. In my Chapter 94 post, I said I was sad that we didn’t get to see Adamant and Aechmea interact and I didn’t think there would be a way now that Adamant is dust. Well. I was wrong. It happened. I got the interaction that wanted. Wasn’t worth it.

So to sum up this first reason: The emotional turmoil that I personally experienced watching the characters I like get destroyed... meant nothing in the end.

Now I don’t know how to feel about these characters. It sucks. I even had a post that I was starting write about on a certain controversial character that I couldn’t bring myself to hate, despite everything, but I’m now debating whether or not I should still write it. I think I will, but there will be a lot of edits.

The second reason: Negation of personal growth

One of the things that has been brought up many times by fans is about how the gems dealt with problems. Instead of trying to address the problem and talk to try to fix it, they chose to ignore it and sweep it under the rug, no matter how upsetting it is to the characters involved. All of the gems, both Earth and Moon, constantly choose to not confront the issue and stay blissfully ignorant.

And now that they’re accepting to be Lunarians, it feels like they’re just running away again. Instead of confronting the Lunarians or having the gems properly talking with each other about how things got to the point where they had to once fight each other, they are like: Oh, we can be Lunarians so we don’t have to fight with them anymore? Awesome. Let’s do it.

Everyone is once again going with the flow, just sweeping the glaring issues that they all carried for so long, and are just accepting the new reality that they are in with no problems whatsoever. No addressing of anything means no character growth for all of them. No one grew from this experience. No one learned that ignoring the problems doesn’t solve them. They aren’t solving their previous issues, they are masking it under the belief that becoming Lunarian automatically solves all of their problems.

No talking between Diamond or Bort. No talking with Yellow about their traumas or any of the other gems in the same boat. And no talking about how everything that happened lead to Phos doing what they did. It’s even more disappointing how Antarcticite was the only one who showed any concern about Phos or even thought to bring them up in the first place.

Edit: Also to add, the other problem here is how the are conscious choosing to remove your identity. They are not only choosing to loose their identity as gems, but they are fine loosing their memories as well. Not to mention how Cairngorm is once again being given a new identity to go by, from Aechmea, and is totally fine with it. That scene was small but once again, the fact that they are fine pretty much erasing what made them who they are is...unnerving.

So pretty much to sum up this: Once again, everything meant nothing in the end.

Speaking of Phos...

The third reason: Phos’s miserable fate

Phos, once again, got the short end of the stick. After everything that they’ve done, from trying to save everyone but themselves, to doing what was once seen as cruel for the sake of everyone to finally do something for themselves to go back to wanting to save the others after the bloodlust was gone... to get this ending for themselves.

But wow, what a cruel twist: Phos’s old goal was fulfilled. Thanks to them, the gems don’t have to live in fear of being destroyed or taken or anything. Thanks to Phos, everyone is free. Everyone now is going to be happy for the rest of their existance...at the cost of Phos’s expense.

Phos lost everything.

Their body.

Their sanity.

Their identity.

Everything.

What do they get in return?

10,000 years of nothing but their own miserable existence and dark, depressing thoughts.

In the end, everything that Phos experienced not only sent them crashing down to rock bottom: it sent him to the chore of the earth, back out the other side, then back into the earth, in an endless cycle of just constant misery.

That’s a theme in buddhism, if that’s what I’m recalling right from @rinboz‘s posts: a cycle of continuous misery. That is clearly embodied here through Phos and Phos will continue to suffer the pain of existing while everyone else got what they wanted in the end, especially Aechmea.

Speaking of which, I also genuinely want to know if there’s still fans out there who view Aechmea as a good guy for ‘liberating’ Phos, because as far as I see, thanks to him, Phos is now stuck in an even more miserable form of existence. At least before everything, everyone was miserable together with Phos. Sort of. Still better than what we got with this chapter, in my opinion. (Please do share your thoughts, if you do. I promise, this is not an attack. I’m just interested to hear your thoughts, if you’re willing to share)

But now, there’s no there for Phos. And unlike those other instances where Phos was in a situation and someone somewhat saves them like Adamant and Padparadscha once did before, there’s no one there. So unless there’s some Admirabilis hiding around there or if the Gem/lunarians decide to come to them, which I doubt will happen, there’s no one for Phos. No one is coming to help/save them.

Phos will have to suffer all alone. For 10,000 years. Phos is the last existing gem being now...even though technically, they aren’t really a gem anymore.

Once again, to sum up why I don’t like this chapter nor how the story has progressed: Phos’s suffering meant nothing to them in the end. That’s the other theme I’m trying to hammer in in this post: Everything meant nothing in the end.

I’ve already seen a few fans react to the chapter and I saw one state that if the Lunarians, including the gems, were to come to Phos to pray for them, the poster hopes Phos tells them to “F* off” And you know what, I hope so too. But this revelation has me fearing for what’s going to happen the series, or more specifically, how and when it’ll officially end.

No true happy ending in sight and not exactly for the reasons you think

As always, it’s hard to predict how Ms. Ichikawa is going to end this series. Us fans made many predictions and a good number of them came true, but it’s the ending that eludes us. Some hope for a happy ending for Phos, while many, including myself, predict that it’ll be anything but happy. And now, with this chapter...I think it’s set in stone now.

Last month, in response to someone asking me how I think the series might end, I made a few small predictions. Some for a good ending, a bittersweet ending, and a bad ending....

...and it looks like that first sad ending is where the series is heading after all:

Everyone is gone/moved on and Phos stays behind as a lonely, immortal being.

Even though this small prediction was correct, how it’s all playing out was not exactly how I’d envisioned. It’s worse. And what’s making me even more worried is that based off of where the story is headed, my gut feelings are saying that the series ending is near. And it won’t be to anyone’s satisfaction.

Whenever I get invested in a series, other than worrying about how the creators will handle their characters and story, one of my biggest worries is about how the creators handle their ending. I’m truly afraid about what Ms. Ichikawa is planning for this series because I can’t help but fear it’s not going to end well. It’s not the worry that the series will have a sad/bittersweet ending, even though that concern is still there though I’ve accepted the likelihood, but rather I’m worried that the next chapter or so will be the abrupt end to this series. This concern is because of how rushed this chapter felt and I can’t help but worry that Ms. Ichikawa is now rushing to the end of the story. And to be honest, the addition fact that Ms. Ichikawa is going on hiatus is not helping these uneasy feelings.

I hate being the pessimistic one but what if this happens? What if Ms. Ichikawa decides to end the series here or in the next chapter? What if the next chapter is literally another time skip, with all of the characters that I once cared about just NOT progressing, and Phos continuously being stuck in this immortal and we’re expected to accept this as the ending. Because other than Phos, everyone’s story, from what it looks like, is at their end now. I really hope that doesn’t happen. I’ve seen great series end so terribly too often and I’ve loved this story for so long that I hope that doesn’t happen with this series too. I love this series a lot and it’s characters, even the ones who I don’t think I like as much as I did after this chapter. I hope the series will end nicely... but I don’t think it will.

Back to predictions on how the story will progress: I made a post a few days ago about how I hope the forgotten plot elements will come into play and the fact that Aechmea isn’t omnipresent. More than ever, part of me hopes those elements will come back and have a positive impact for Phos’s story, especially the omnipresent part. But again, I don’t think I’ll hope too much for it because looking at Ms. Ichikawa’s past works... I don’t think they will, at least not in the way I’m hoping for.

Maybe I’m too used to Western (American/European) stories, where the protagonist somehow beats the odds and wins in the end. This isn’t always the case for Eastern stories, especially stories from Japan. They usually end bittersweet and I don’t think Houseki no Kuni will be the exception. I know I’ve said this saying many times before and with each passing chapter, these words become more and more true:

Phos’s suffering is never going to end.

And unless someone does something to change the course of the story, which I don’t think will ever happen now, Phos is never going to have a happy ending.

If I could wish for anything, it’d be that this story ends on a satisfying note. I know, I know. It’s foolish to still hope for that it’ll happen, given everything I’ve seen from Ms. Ichikawa before...But still. I don’t want to lose all of the hope that I have left for this series. Even though that hope is nearly diminished, it’s still there.

So please, Ms. Ichikawa. Please give us a satisfying ending for Phos. Please let them go. If anyone deserves a dignifying conclusion to their story, it’s them. Let them rest. End their suffering. Please give them the ending they deserve after everything they went through.

You’ll likely won’t though.

Because this is Phos.

And to be Phos is to constantly suffer.

Well, regardless, I truly hope you’re hiatus goes well, Ms. Ichikawa. Even though you are a cruel troll, your work is still amazing and I applaud you for your story telling and your love to mess with us. I hope you enjoy your time away and when you return, I hope that you’ll continue to give us amazing content and eventually give Phos the ending they deserve. Please. That’s all I want.

I hope you all a nice holiday season, too, or at least try to.

Happy Holidays.

Can’t wait for 2020 to end.

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nonbinaryhatboxghost · 3 years

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So, I finished watching Star Trek: Voyager. (spoilers throughout)

I started watching the show a couple of years ago, and I remember being impressed at how solid its pilot was. Star Trek shows (in my experience) have a history of starting out a bit rough before figuring themselves out, and it felt like Voyager had a pretty solid identity figured out right from the get-go.

But while I have loved watching the show as a whole, it felt like it went through multiple identity crises along the way.

It’s frustrating because the show contains the best depiction of the weight of being in the captain’s chair out of any Star Trek story I have ever seen. Janeway herself is just a great character in general, but getting moments like the finale of “Tuvix” or literally any scene in “Year of Hell” go much further in depicting the effect of leadership on our lead character than one would expect in a Trek show.

Over the course of my viewing of Voyager, I noticed that I tended to respond more to darker episodes than others. “Meld”, in which Tuvok mind-melds with a serial killer Betazoid played by the great Brad Dourif, is one example. “Mortal Coil”, in which Neelix experiences a crisis of faith after a death experience, is another favorite. And while I am indeed a sucker for a quality dark Trek story, the main reason that I believe I favored these kinds of episodes was because they felt like they had an impact on the characters.

Most of the blockbuster two-parters over the course of the show didn’t really stick with me, despite some very fun premises. And it’s because, with the exception of “Scorpion”, most of these two-parters tended to resolve in a way that completely undid any semblance of consequence on future episodes.

The most egregious example of this is the ending of “Year of Hell”, a two-parter that began development as a premise for the entirety of Season 4, but was rejected by producer Rick Berman and downgraded to two-parter instead. While I had pacing issues with the episodes due to sensing the abbreviated nature of a lot of the subplots, I overall really liked the story and seeing the crew of Voyager having to endure so much. Not because I wanted to see them suffer, but because I wanted to see stories that conveyed their journey home would have an impact on them. So when “Year of Hell” ends with a timeline reset that completely eradicates all of the events of the two-parter, I felt cheated. Because it is a cheat.

When Voyager did a similar time travel reset for their 100th episode, “Timeless”, in which a future Chakotay and Harry pull some shenanigans to prevent Voyager from crashing into an ice planet, that story successfully had its cake and ate it by having our present-day crew be aware of the future Harry and Chakotay’s actions. The episode ends with a shocked present-day Harry watching a video message from his now-dead future self.

When I finally got around to the series finale, “Endgame”, all I knew to expect was another time travel story. I have no issues with time travel in Star Trek. It’s possibly overused, but I never get tired of it because more often than not, Trek knows how to find the fun in whichever story they use that device in. I enjoyed the first half of “Endgame” and its depiction of our crew’s future lives back on Earth. I liked seeing Admiral Janeway go rogue in order to time travel back to the Voyager crew that we’ve been following throughout most of the show. And as purposely-but-still-strangely jarring as it was to see Admiral Janeway try to prioritize Captain Janeway and the crew over defeating the Borg, I really liked their scenes together as well as Admiral Janeway’s confrontation, defeat, and death with the Borg Queen. (who is suddenly played by Alice Krige again in the finale after being played by Susanna Thompson in previous Voyager episodes. I was happy to see her but a bit confused after the show seemed to indicate that Thompson was meant to be Borg Queen 2.0, only to have our original Queen from First Contact return)

Then the last few minutes happen. The Borg are quickly dispatched, Voyager makes it back to the Alpha Quadrant, and the show ends with them blowing up a Borg Sphere and saying “hello” to the Starfleet ships waiting for them. There is barely any time devoted to the impact of arriving home on the crew because it happens so suddenly. And as much as Mulgrew does to sell “Set a course for home” as the final line... it falls flat.

I suspect that the reasoning for the abrupt ending is that the writers thought depicting the future older versions of the crew on Earth would serve as closure for our cast of characters. But it doesn’t work because the whole premise of the finale centers on Admiral Janeway undoing that future so she can save the lives of Seven of Nine and Chakotay, who are dead in this depicted future.

During one of Admiral and Captain Janeways’ scenes together, they are debating whether to use the Borg space tunnels to get home faster, or if they should destroy the tunnels to keep the Borg from being able to get around space. Then Captain Janeway proposes that there’s a way for them to “have our cake and eat it, too.”

Despite the convenience of this final plot, one that is explicitly identified as such by that line, the finale could still have stuck the landing if we saw or felt the impact of arriving home on the Voyager crew that we have been following for seven seasons. As messy as the show sometimes got, and as underserved as some characters became after the show introduced Seven of Nine (which confuses me because the writers did such a good initial job of utilizing that character to create new dynamics with the cast), this cast had earned and deserved a depiction of their arrival home. And we never got that.

Tom Paris is my least favorite character on the show. It has nothing to do with Robert Duncan McNeill’s performance, it’s just that the character never felt particularly developed beyond his initial characterization for me. His best material, in my opinion, was in “Lineage” when Tom comforts and assures B’Elanna that he will never leave her and that he wants their children to inherit their mother’s Klingon heritage. But one thread throughout the course of the show that seemed so straightforward of a payoff to save for the finale was Tom’s reunion with his father.

Tom talks frequently over the course of the show about his strained relationship with his Admiral dad. Then once Voyager is able to establish contact with the Alpha Quadrant (another development I had mixed feelings on because it diminishes the premise of the show by minimizing the ship’s isolation), we get introduced to Admiral Paris and he becomes a recurring character. We even get a moment where he expresses his love for Tom and how much he misses him. And while we do see Tom’s reaction to this, this huge character moment isn’t a direct interaction between these two characters. So naturally you would assume that their reunion, and likely reconciliation as father and son, would be shown once Voyager returns to Earth in the finale.

But that doesn’t happen.

Even though Admiral Paris is in the finale, that reunion setup is just not payed off in any way.

We also don’t get to see Tuvok reunited with his family.

Or Seven of Nine’s first impressions of Earth or her meeting any of her relatives.

Or any indication of what our former Maquis crewmembers’ reception by Starfleet would be.

Strangely, the only satisfying character sendoff of the show is Neelix, who in an earlier episode leaves to be with a colony of his own people and serve as Starfleet’s Delta Quadrant ambassador. His goodbye to the crew is a beautifully simple scene of him walking to his ship and passing by the entire crew, who are assembled along the hallway to see him off. And we even get a payoff to his friendship with Tuvok when Tuvok briefly taps his toes as a farewell gesture to Neelix.

Neelix started as the show’s most grating character, irritatingly cheerful and toxically possessive of Kes. By the time the show ended, he had become a well-rounded and essential presence. His traumas of losing his faith and family, as well as his insecurities around his role in the crew, were well developed over the course of the show.

In a way, the finale was a perfect example of the show. The premise was solid, and the cast was totally game and performed it to the best of their ability. But when it came down to conveying any impact that this episode, or the series in its entirety, would have on its characters... the finale just sidesteps that and ends abruptly.

Janeway, Seven of Nine, Chakotay, B’Elanna, Tuvok, Harry, Tom, Kes, and The Doctor all deserved better.

#kyle rants #star trek: voyager #star trek voyager #star trek

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todomitoukei · 3 years

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thank you @haleigh-sloth for the tag and the shoutout ♥♥!!!

1. How do you begin writing your analysis: do you start writing about the first thing that strikes you; or do you step back and look at the narrative structure first; or something else?

Hmm depends. I mean a lot of my metas are answers to asks about specific topics/scenes that I receive, so I already have the topic for the meta and then usually just start writing my response however it comes to my mind, only stopping if I have to look stuff up if I don't fully remember scenes/lines that I'm talking about. Once that's done I go over it a couple of times to edit/rearrange/format, etc. When I do my translation comparison posts I just write down the translation first and then do the analysis (I kinda go back and forth all the time when doing this because sometimes I don't feel like doing the translation part anymore and sometimes I don't know how to phrase my thoughts for the analysis part so it's just kinda chaotic and unstructured, but slowly turning into a continuous text)

2. What do you like to keep in mind while writing your analysis/meta?

I like to include sources so that people don't just read my takes and run with them, but are able to check out the references for themselves, too, and draw their own conclusions from them while also getting more details from the sources. That includes referencing the manga by either quoting it or including panels when it comes to what characters have said/done within the story, as well as including sources to back up the conclusions I draw/takes I share (i.e. when talking about anything mental health-related)

3. Do you try to keep your value judgments separate from your analysis?

Kind of? I mean, my main focus is usually the original Japanese text, which is just pretty factual, however, if there is an opportunity to shit on Endvr, well...... :-*

4. Do you prefer analyzing characters, or arcs, or both?

Characters! I always prefer to focus on the psychology/philosophy of things and prefer to treat the story as being part of the characters to further understand who they are as people, rather than the other way around. That being said, society shapes people so I find focusing on the setting of the story very enlightening, too, so if a story has an arc that focuses a bit more on the society/world in the story, then I guess that is also worth analyzing.

5. Do you think receiving feedbacks/responses on your analysis/meta help improve your critical skills?

Nah, most of the criticism/"feedback" on here is from people who lack any kind of reading comprehension so I'm good lol. Writing meta helps me sort my own thoughts so I don't care too much tbh, I kinda prefer reading people's own separate metas in that case because I feel like I usually try to say everything I've wanted to say before pressing post. I do like to see people adding actual valuable insights/correct me when I was genuinely wrong or providing more resources, though, so don't be afraid to add anything to my posts (unless you're just gonna be rude and misinterpret everything I said)

6. Do you consciously decide which media you want to write analysis on or does it naturally come to you?

I mean... this is my bnha side blog so I'm just writing about that, and only because Dabi/the lov/the Todofam live in my head rent-free anyway :) and I honestly wouldn't even know what else to write about? The only other thing that I am absolutely obsessed with is Life is Strange, but it's just my comfort game/series so I don't really care about writing or reading about it.

7. Do you prefer writing long or short metas? Which ones do you prefer to read?

Long metas, both for reading and writing. But good formatting and panels also help to make it easy to read and not get lost in the text, so if the format is shit then short ones. Overall, though, long ones usually mean there are more points brought up and more references made, which means more details to better support the point that is being made. Also, I am unable to keep myself short so I think my posts usually end up being kinda lengthy even when I try to make them short? I definitely always end up debating with myself whether or not I should add a read more somewhere or if it's short enough that it won't piss people off when it appears on their dash, so if I've ever pissed you off... sorry lol.

8. Which are your favourite analysis/criticism/meta blogs?

@transhawks @redphlox @haleigh-sloth @hamliet @thyandrawrites are all incredible blogs that really make being in the fandom fun and I love their insights!

9. Which shows/movies/media do you think deserve to have more analysis done on them?

Hmmm, to be honest, I don't really interact with other fandoms, I usually just consume media and form my own opinions without looking into the fandom's overall take, so I don't know which fandoms don't have a lot of metas. As for which ones I overall think deserve to be analyzed a lot, I think Psycho-Pass, similar to bnha, has a lot of potential for talking at length about the ethics behind their society and how governments often mask their crimes as being for the greater good etc etc. Also, stories like Tokyo Ghoul, Violet Evergarden, and Angels of Death might be really good for metas, too....

10. According to you, what are some prerequisites for good quality analysis?

Providing resources - no one wants to have to fact-check everything on their own, so provide at least some sources for what you talk about. Good formatting is also important. No one wants to read a 10k single paragraph or have to reread a sentence several times because it stretches across a whole paragraph (this is @ Kant and @ me). Additionally, it's really helpful to bold/italicize words/phrases to make reading easier and more accessible.

Tagging: @transhawks @redphlox (I know haleigh tagged you too, but I'm a rebel >:])

#thank youuu haleigh ♥#hope this was at least kinda interesting?? idk #tag thing

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pencilofawesomeness · 3 years

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I have Opinions on the Post-War Todoroki Drama/Endeavor Redemption Prospect (post #302)

Okay, so for a long time, I have seen these debates regarding Endeavor, and now that it is being officially Addressed, a lot of tea is getting spilt over the matter. I find it fascinating, on something of a social level. I have my two-cents on the matter, just as everyone does, and two-cents are two-cents, and everyone’s thoughts are valid. This community has come to blows over the topic before, so I just wanted to get that out of the way.

It simultaneously surprises me and doesn’t surprise me that a lot of people hate the idea of Endeavor getting redeemed. He was a terrible guy and a worse father, and YES, he was abusive. However, fandoms have rallied behind morally messed up characters before, MHA included, so I am intrigued by the difference. Likely, it is because he is a parent, and the victim of his debauchery is primarily our favorite Shoto. When kids are involved, it is a natural tendency to start labelling the adult as irredeemable. Parents are held to a higher standard, and they should be. But from a character aspect, why is Endeavor the butt of all the undying hatred? Especially considering that Endeavor is not the worst parent figure in the show.

That’s right. I said it.

Something I noticed about MHA, rather early on, is that Horikoshi absolutely killed it with the foils. So many characters foil one another, while maintaining enriching characterization on their own, and it’s fantastic. Mentorship and parenthood is also a key theme of this show, which I also really enjoyed. Early on, there was something of a three way foil established, between All Might, Endeavor, and All for One.

All Might and Midoriya, in contrast to AfO and Tomura, is an obvious foil, as both All Might and AfO are clearly trying to establish a legacy, with the inheritance of their power or dominion. However, Endeavor is doing the same, hoping to get a child that can take his legacy and make it better. He’s doing the exact same thing as All Might, except with harsh means and selfish reasons, and the same thing as AfO, except with good intentions and a lack of self-awareness.

It’s something of a ‘good, neutral, evil’ spectrum, except as Horikoshi does rather brilliant, all three examples are gray. All Might loves Midoriya and wants him to thrive, but he also pushes the burdening concept of being the one solely responsible for the order of society into his lap. All for One allows Tomura to think for himself and choose his path, however, it was all just a semblance of choice and All for One is not against body-napping his adopted ‘son’ (who he Definitely, Purposefully, emotionally manipulated to the upmost) and belittling him. Endeavor tried to make sure his kids were healthy and safe, but he was so focused on bringing up one of them as a hero in his stead, he forgot how to take their emotions and desires into account, having sired them with wrong intentions.

All Might has already been shown as learning his faults and doing better to foster teamwork in the Class 1-A students and Midoriya. All for One already showed his true colors as not really caring about Tomura’s progression, but rather just his own legacy. It’s Endeavor’s turn. He’s already better than AfO, morally speaking, because his abuse was out of neglect and denseness, not on purpose. And, he’s currently seeing his faults and dwelling on them, acknowledging his actions as wrong. This is big.

Yes, Endeavor was a terrible person, and no, his family is not obligated to love him, but he is allowed redemption. In fact, Endeavor has another foil, and—hot take incoming—

If Endeavor doesn’t ‘deserve’ a redemption arc, then neither did Bakugo.

Bakugo was a lot like early-Endeavor. He was obsessed with strength and heroes, and he thought that associating with ‘weakness’ would make him weak as well. He was a kid, yes, but he was abusive and a bully for no “good reason,” even telling Midoriya in no uncertain terms to kill himself. There was no cause other than Bakugo’s own insecurity. He was a horrible person for the sake of it, and rough though his mother was, he had no excuse. It originated in him and the people he associated himself with, though it was only allowed to thrive in his home, and in their society. He was, objectively speaking, a terrible person.

However, we see that Bakugo has been trying to improve. He’s still rough around the edges, but he’s learning. This is widely accepted as good, learning and self-improvement is. Midoriya is not obligated to help Bakugo in this journey, and he hasn’t always—Kirishima and other characters have contributed—but Midoriya, being Midoriya, has chosen to give Bakugo another chance, and it’s working. They actually work well together, and due to this second chance, they were able to save each others’ lives.

Endeavor has a similar record: terrible person but with good intentions. And, he’s now starting to learn. He could either follow the same path as Bakugo did, or he could shell up and dig in his heels. Which, it doesn’t look like he’s doing.

Now, Shoto has extended his (hesitant) hand to Endeavor, just as Midoriya did to Bakugo, and Midoriya did to him. This is Shoto’s choice, and he risks getting burned, but he knows firsthand the benefits. In fact, Shoto already helped Endeavor, without doing so explicitly—during the Remedial Training arc. This is the first time he makes a (clear) attempt to do so willingly. Redemption doesn’t have to be a group effort, but it always goes smoother when it is.

There’s so many other aspects I can talk about, like Dabi vs Endeavor, and Hawks and Dabi, and how the Todorokis all claimed some part of blame in 302, but the main thing I wanted to address was the prospect of whether Endeavor should or shouldn’t be redeemed. Obviously, this is a show, and this kind of discourse is to be expected—and encouraged—but it’s interesting that we even debate shoulds and shouldn’ts when every single character is human, and everyone has a chance at redemption. It’s only about whether or not they themselves accept it and work towards it. It doesn’t matter if the person is a child or adult. Everyone can change, for good or for better. It doesn’t wipe away the past, and it doesn’t guarantee the future, and it’s full of uncertainties. And I’m really hyped to see how that theme is addressed and plays out in MHA.

#mha #mha spoilers #mha manga #endeavor #todoroki family #todoroki family drama #post 302

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alexmitas · 3 years

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Why I’m Just Like Crime & Punishment’s Raskolnikov and so Are You: A Brief Analysis of Dostoevsky’s Most Famous Novel

Just last night I finished Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment. After mulling it over for a day (likely not nearly long enough to have substantiated a complete analysis, but with my memory I risk forgetting things if I move on to another book before writing about one that I’ve just finished), I’ve decided to get some of my thoughts down. Firstly, I will say that I am struck. While I’m clearly neither the first nor last person to be amazed by this novel, a work as significant as this one still deserves its praise where it’s due. People will often preface praise based on their interpretation of a creative endeavor by stating that its imperfection is obvious, even though that it’s also the best-est or their favorite, or one of the best-est or their favorite creative works that they have ever encountered, or something of the sort. I won’t be so bold to as to make that statement. That’s because, without a doubt, this was a perfect novel. After all, if something is so close to approaching a spade, by all reasonable measures, and only becomes better and better, and more and more like a spade, with age, then why not call it a spade?

Since the beginning I had a certain kind of resonance with Raskolnikov, the novel’s main character. But just as you can’t fully judge a story unless you consider it as a single, coherent piece (that is, until you have read from beginning to end), so too did I not understand the reason for my resonance with Raskolnikov until I finished reading his full tale. He’s young, he’s handsome, he’s intelligent: check, check, check; these things all apply to me, at least to some minor degree - that much was obvious from the very beginning - but while this superficial resonance was my first impression upon dining, it paled in comparison to the impression I had after the final bite of desert; to say nothing of the pleasant after dinner conversation among friends, the latter of which, of course, I use as a metaphor for the epilogue[1]. Every flaw I see in Raskolnikov, I also see in myself; for every action he takes, I can imagine a world in which I could be drawn down a path that would lead me to make the very same decisions, and to take the very same actions. I don’t know what could possibly be a better model than that for a main character.

Perhaps Raskolnikov’s biggest flaw is his overinflated ego, which is hardly out of the ordinary for someone his age, and isn’t entirely unjustified - as I said, he has three of the most promising traits one could hope for: intelligence, youth, and good-looks – but which does, in his case, lead him down an ideological rabbit hole of naivete, a hole which he creates for himself by dropping out of school, refusing work when it’s offered to him, and letting his resentment for the world grow as he lives off of a handful of meager sums sent to him by his mother and sister as a debt ridden fool in a poor Russian city during the eighteen-hundreds. This ideological thinking, which we shall not confuse with illogical thinking, for it is very much logical, brings Raskolnikov to the thought that, yes, it would in fact be a good idea to murder and rob the wealthy old pawnbroker whom is commonly considered amongst his peers as a mean-ol’ crone, holder of many a promissory note, rumored to have left her wealth to the building of a statue in her image through her will, rather than to her own children, whilst also being a generally unsightly and disagreeable woman, and, having done this, could aim to put her money to a more just cause, perhaps distributing it to others, or perhaps using it to further his own career which he would certainly payback in the form of greater value to society later on. And it isn’t such a crazy sounding idea, is it? After all, what is but one crime if the outcome provides a much greater net good? I’ve known many people, including myself, who’ve had thoughts not so unlike this one, and I suspect you are no different, dear reader. So having rationalized this to himself, Raskolnikov goes through with it, and thereby provides us a story of his Crime, which occupies only about one-fifth of the length of the novel, and his Punishment, which nearly occupies the novel’s entirety; with these proportions themselves giving us an idea of the many-fold burden of consequences for actions, as well as foreshadowing what is to come. And this rationalization runs deep. It isn’t until later, that we learn of truer reasons for Raskolnikov’s action, beginning with the discovery of an article he was able to have published while still enrolled in school, and ending with a true confession of his deepest motives to Sonya, to be discussed later.

This article that he wrote sometime before the crime, “On Crime,” reveals deeper rationale for his decision to commit the murder: and that is that he does it as a way to become something more than he is; to break down the cultural and religious structures around him, and more than that to supersede them; to rise above his fellow man as a type of “superman” or Napoleon, as he puts it, becoming someone who is able to “step over” the line which divides who is ordinary and who is great, a line that’s substance consists of rules for the hoi polloi only; ultimately inferring this idea – which, from what I understand was prevalent in Russia during the mid 1800’s – that the best way to view the world is through the lens of nihilism, which employs utilitarianism – the tenet which proposes that actions should be considered just insofar as they help the greatest number of people overall, and where acts of evil may be balanced properly, without the need for consequence, in the face of equal or greater acts of righteousness, especially if that person can prove themselves of some sort of higher value – as a central axiom. Pulling back to a macroscopic view of the novel, this sense that Dostoevsky had to instill within his characters arguments for what at the time was – and still in some sense very well are – contemporary issues, and eternal ideological and philosophical battlegrounds, rather than thrusting his own opinions through the narrator, is something I found to be brilliant and endearing, not only for the sake of keeping the author’s own bias more subdued than would otherwise be the case, but also just as a means to see what happens; to let the characters in the story have the fight, leaving both author and reader alike to extrapolate what hypotheses or conclusions they may as a consequence. In this regard, other characters – including Raskolnikov’s friend, Razumikhin, and state magistrate, Porfiry Petrovich – have the chance to debate with the nihilistic ideology of Raskolnikov after interacting with “On Crime.” This provides depth to contemporary discourse, without reeking of contrivance, and also allows us to see Raskolnikov argue for himself also, even though what he, ‘himself’, stands for is ultimately not clear; not for the reader but also seemingly not for Raskolnikov, as even after deciding to commit the crime, Raskolnikov’s opinion on whether or not it was a just event osculates frequently throughout the novel. It is this osculation, in fact, which constitutes most of Raskolnikov’s early punishment and suffering, as even though it appears as if Raskolnikov has managed to get away with the crime in the domain of the broader world[2], his conscious will not allow such an event to be swept under the rug, or even allow Raskolnikov to continue to live his life unhindered by spiritual corruption, mental destabilization, or physical trauma – all three of which plague him constantly both during his initial contemplations and later fulfillment of the crime. Ultimately, these ideological battles and inward rationalizations do not provide Raskolnikov with the accurate prognostication needed to foretell the outcome of his own state of being after committing such an act; and thereby lies Raskolnikov’s fatal flaw, derived from his arrogance and naivete, where he is left blinded by an ideology which never fulfills its promise of return. Oh, but if only he had a predilection for listening to the great prognosticator within him, his conscious, which, despite his waking thoughts, was calling out to him in the form of dreams.

In what is one of several dream sequences observed by characters in the novel, Raskolnikov dreams himself a young spectator, holding the hand of his father, as the two of them watch a group of misfit boys pile into a carriage. The carriage master, no more than a youthful fool, whips a single mare solely responsible for pulling the carriage. Overburdened and unable to do more than struggle forward at a pathetic pace, the mare whimpers and suffers visibly as the cruel and drunken carriage master orders it to trudge on, whipping it forcefully, all the while calling for any and everyone around the town to pile into the carriage. Laughing and screaming hysterically, the carriage master turns brutal task master when he begins to beat the mare repeatedly after with much effort the beast finally collapses to the ground in exhaustion. Horrifically, a handful of other people from the crowd and the carriage find their own whips and join in on the beating of the poor mare until it finally dies. Young Raskolnikov, having witnessed this event in its entirety, rushes to the mare after its brutal death, kisses it, then turns to the carriage master brandishing his fists before he is stopped by his father. This is the reader’s first warning of the brutality to come, and had Raskolnikov payed heed to what his conscious was trying to communicate to him in his dream, he may have noticed, as we as readers do, that the reaction the young Raskolnikov had to the barbaric murder of the mare very much predicted what Raskolnikov’s ultimate reaction to his then theoretical crime would be – regret; and, therefore, repentance. A second dream of Raskolnikov’s, which very much enforces this idea, pits Raskolnikov in the act of once again murdering Alyona, except this time, when he strikes her atop the head with the same axe, she simply brandishes a smile and laughs uncontrollably instead of falling over dead. This all but confirms Raskolnikov’s suspicions to himself, as his subconscious relays his foolish inadequacy, as a man who thought that he could elevate himself above others by “stepping over” the moral boundaries all of his societal peers abide by (and for good reason). Again, through this tendency that he has to stubbornly ignore his conscious, I find Raskolnikov eminently relatable, to some degree, and it is no wonder: it is a rare individual who finds obeying their conscious to be anything but onerous (then again, perhaps this is only most common in individuals who are still relatively young and naïve, a trait which I share with Raskolnikov, but one in which you may not, dear reader; but I digress). Of course, just because a task is onerous, does not mean that it is impossible. The characters which have been placed around Raskolnikov, and specifically the ones which serve as foils to his character, provide examples of contrast with individuals who at the very least are able to combat the compelling desire that we all have to ignore our consciouses. The three most blatant examples of foils for Raskolnikov are his sister, Dunya, his best friend, Razumikhin, and his eventual wife, Sonya Marmeladov.

The first example of this contrast apparent to the reader is in the character Razumikhin. Razumikhin is also a student living within the same city as Raskolnikov. Unlike Raskolnikov, however, he has not bailed out of university for financial necessity nor wanton of a grand ideological narrative. There is also no reason to believe he has more financial support than Raskolnikov, as he also appears to be poor with no hint of endowment, instead supporting himself through the meager-paying work of translating for a small publisher. And while Razumikhin is even more naïve than Raskolnikov – having never once suspected Raskolnikov of so much as a dash of malevolence – he lacks the same venomous arrogance, whilst showing no signs of lower intelligence. Dunya, Raskolnikov’s sister, provides another example of similar contrast. This is because, as his sister, and, again, with no reason to believe that she is any more or less intelligent or attractive than her brother, Dunya comes from the same upbringing, whilst holds no apparent resentment towards the world around her. Even when she is given the choice to harm someone else – when she finds herself on the side of a gun pointing at a man who has locked her inside of a room against her will (arguably giving her a modicum of a reason to kill another, depending on one’s own stance on morality) – she is unable to do it, instead casting her tool with which to do so aside and letting fate take care of the rest[3]. Lastly, and this may be the most apparent example, presenting what may be Raskolnikov’s true foil, we have dearest Sonya, stepdaughter of the Marmeladovs. Sonya, who in the face of two useless parents, takes it upon herself to prostitute herself so that her family, including three young siblings, may eat, makes Raskolnikov look privileged and morally woeful in comparison. Recognizing this himself, Raskolnikov does his best to look out for Sonya, in what is perhaps his most genuine form of empathy. Despite this – or perhaps, in fact, in spite of this; for early on Raskolnikov identifies Sonya as the sole individual whom may be able to help him redeem himself – Raskolnikov obsessively pushes Sonya to read a verse from the bible involving the story of Lazarus, as a redemption for himself, but also for Sonya, projecting as he does his misdeeds unto her and equating his murderous acts with her soiling of her sexuality for the sake of providing for her family. The story of Lazarus is a story which promises resurrection of the individual as Jesus Christ resurrected Lazarus from the dead. In this way, Raskolnikov probes, a part of him reaching out ever fervently for the means of the rebirth of his soul, despite his hitherto forthright determination to escape his guilt and conviction, looking for proof of Sonya’s moral purity, which he already suspects, despite his accusations, to which she responds by admitting herself a sinner, asking God for forgiveness, and later by bestowing upon Raskolnikov one of her two precious necklace and crosses. And it is in a kindred vein to these three examples of contrast in which the final contrast is made in small part by every character in the novel; for in some sense this novel represents the journey of one man as he isolates himself from a community he loathes to subordinate himself to; of a man who wishes to supersede his place in the world and become a “superman”; of a man who places his individual ideology above the morality of his peers; and it is in this way that the ordinary character, subservient to religion, provides contrast for the atheist who mocks them, not with critique, but with arrogance.

…

…And that ought to be enough for now.

TLDR: 10/10 would recommend.

Thanks for reading,

- Alex

[1] The epilogue, from what I’ve observed from others’ critiques, seems to be controversial in that some believe the novel stands alone better without it. It is not until the epilogue – well into the sentence of punishment by the state for his crimes – that Raskolnikov finally gives up his idea that, essentially, ‘the only thing he did wrong was improperly rob the old lady and to then fall emotionally and mentally apart afterwards’; where, too, he finally gives up his last bit of arrogance and outward loathing for the world and his circumstances, and accepts responsibility for his actions, likely brought on by the outwardly visible sacrifices made by his then wife, Sonya, who he looks to for repentance. However, critics argue that without the epilogue, we would simply be left to assume on our own that Raskolnikov finally gave in to repentance when the novel ended with his confession, and that that would be preferable to what is otherwise a heavy-handed ending, condensed as it is compared to the rest of the novel. This would make sense and likely be fitting enough of an ending. However, in defense of the epilogue, without it, a reader’s main takeaway from the story might be only, ‘do not underestimate how much opposing your conscious will degenerate your soul,’ while with the epilogue, the takeaway is more likely to also include something along the lines of, ‘beware denigrating religion and the multitude of cultures which it has produced, for without the ability to hold yourself accountable for your own deeds and also to be redeemed, there is nothing standing between you and self-destruction and misery, to say nothing of the destruction and misery of those around you,’ which of course is realized by the death of Raskolnikov’s mother as well as the sickening of himself and his wife, as a consequence of his refusal to actually accept his punishment and repent even after his confession (which without acceptance of responsibility is still only a selfish act), outlined in the two chapters proceeding the end of the novel. So if I’d had the genius necessary to write this story, I’d also have looked to include an epilogue to ensure that the totality of my characters’ lessons would also be realized by the reader, for whatever that’s worth.

[2] While Raskolnikov does seem to commit the crime of murder and robbery without getting caught, this does not mean that things go according to plan; in fact, far from it: while Raskolnikov manages to murder Alyona, he very poorly robs her – leaving behind a large bundle of cash she had under her bed, which he missed due to his state of unanticipated frenzy. He also ends up killing Alyona’s younger sister, Lizaveta, when she arrives immediately following the murder, in an act of pure self-perseverance, which just goes to show: when you take the fate of the world into your own hands, when you ‘step over’ the boundaries that your culture (or God; whichever) has deemed should not be crossed – when you arrogantly and naively take the fabric and truth of the universe into your own hands – you do not know what it is you are doing; you do not know what the consequences of your actions will be. It isn’t made clear the degree to which the killing of Lizaveta changed the outcome for Raskolnikov’s soul. Perhaps committing one crime constitutes the same moral weight as committing two crimes simultaneously, but also perhaps it was everything; the one factor unaccounted for which destroyed his evaluation of just outcomes and, having done so, his resolve.

[3] Here is a specific instance in which Dostoevsky’s propensity to pit ideas against each other in the form of characters playing out their practicalities in a real-world context comes to bear. This specific battle, represented by the juxtaposition of the aforementioned scene with Raskolnikov’s murdering of the two women, pits morality against ideology, while leaving a clear winner: for it is one which leads to the eradication of two lives and the degradation of more than one soul, and it is another which leads to the absolution of a dangerous conflict. These two specifically – morality and ideology – clash frequently during the novel’s entirety, with morality often taking its microcosmic form of religion.

#fyodor dostoevsky #crime&punishment #essays #novel analysis #classics

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marigoldwitch · 4 years

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Witchblr : Gatekeeper or Elitist

What’s the difference?

There’s really no gatekeepers in the broader witchblr community. No one on this hellsite can actually limit your access to witchcraft knowledge or information. They don’t have any authority to do so. I’ve mistakenly called certain people [in the witchblr community] gatekeepers myself, so don’t feel to bad if you’ve done this too. Gatekeeping only really applies if the person you’re referring to is able to actually limit access to the information you’re seeking. Which they can’t since they aren’t the only people who have that information. Most, if not all, the information that you find here on Tumblr (or that witches here on Tumblr claim to have) is available in books and on other websites that are easily accessible to the general public.

I think a better word to describe these people are “elitist” because they think they have (or deserve) some kind of authority or influence over others in the community because in their minds they’re right and everyone else is wrong. Since they can’t actually limit your access to the information that they have, because it’s not their information to limit, they do the next best thing... make you question yourself and whether you’re “worthy” enough to have this information / knowledge. Then they publicly and aggressively put down anyone who doesn’t see it their way.

“If you don’t do it my way then you’re not doing it the right way”

The thing about witchcraft is that you can’t prove it either way. Personal experience isn’t proof for anyone but yourself. And as much as I support UPG it doesn’t mean anything to anyone other than you. And even having a few people claiming to have similar experiences as you, doesn’t mean much of anything either, to those who haven’t had the experiences themselves.

Witchcraft, as stated so many times and repeated to a point where it’s a bit annoying now, is not a religion. It’s not a set of rules that everyone must follow or else they are wrong. There’s are universal ideas and beliefs BUT not following them doesn’t make you wrong. There are some systems in place but branching outside of those systems and not allowing those system to limit your practice doesn’t make you wrong.

How does someone become an elitist in the witchblr community?

Collective consciousness, echo chamber and false sense of importance. Those are some of the causes that I personally think are involved in creating an elitist witch.

A collective consciousness doesn’t automatically equate to - this is right and everyone else is wrong - It just means your community has a shared set of beliefs and ideas are that considered normal within your community. A satanic witch, a christian witch and an atheist witch will all have a different set of shared beliefs and ideas that they consider to be normal within their communities. They’ll also have a different system of rules to their practices as well. None of them are more right or wrong than the other.

I think an echo chamber can also result in witches thinking they’re the ones with the right answers and everyone else is wrong. It’s because when we only surround ourselves with people who amplify or reinforce our own beliefs without ever considering an alternative system or idea, it can create a space where anything alternative is seen as a threat. A place where people with alternative beliefs and ideas are falsely identified as “misguided” or “ill informed.” In these [those in the echo chamber] people’s minds you’re just not getting the right information or you’re just not intelligent enough or on the same level as them to receive this information.

False sense of importance is another cause, in my opinion, of an “I’m right and your wrong” attitude. And this false sense of importance can come from having a large following online or even a small but dedicating following. No one ever questions you. Everyone always agrees with you. And when someone does question you or disagree with you, you block them. You’re given this exaggerated sense of importance in a community because you’re never challenged or debated. And when you are challenged, you don’t actually absorb anything from the alternative side, you just react to it or antagonize or provoke the other side until they “give up,” causing you to believe you’ve won the argument. When there’s really no way to actually win and there was never an argument, it was just a discussion.

How do you deal with elitist?

There’s always the opinion to ignore them. Or when discussing something you’re both disagreeing on, say your peace and don’t be provoked to continue an argument that isn’t helpful. By this I mean if you can sense the conversation isn’t going anywhere and they’re just prolonging it til they find a “weak spot” in some belief, idea, theory or whatever you share with them.. it’s not worth your time or energy. This can include them:

repeatedly asking you to prove something that is unprovable

asking for multiple examples over and over again of the same theory

they aren’t adding anything of value to the discussion and just making you do all the explaining while they sit back and pick apart your beliefs

they purposely dodge the main point of a discussion and go off on side tangents to control the conversation and steer it away from your original point

when you ask them their ideas, beliefs and theories they dismiss your request and say something along the lines of “this isn’t about what I believe”

It’s sometimes difficult to know how to deal with someone who already thinks less of you because they already entered the chat thinking they’re the right one and anyone who disagrees is wrong. Sharing resources can backfire because if those resources even remotely challenge their beliefs they’ll discredit it and use it to further their argument that you’re wrong and they’re right.

What isn’t elitist?

+ Someone simply disagreeing with you, but agreeing to disagree, is not elitist. People don’t agree on everything, that’s life. You can disagree with someone without either of you being wrong.

+ Calling attention to someone using their influence to provoke and harass others is not elitist. Saying “hey you need to stop bullying X” is not elitist. Whether X is one person or a group of people. By doing this you are not claiming that one side is wrong or right, just that one side is disproportionately attacking the other side in someway.

+ Posting about your own beliefs, ideas, theories and systems without attacking or bullying an alternative set of beliefs, ideas, theories and systems is not elitist. You’re allow to have your beliefs and others are allowed to have there’s. Sharing them as your truth isn’t elitist.

That’s it

I never know how to end these posts. So yeah. You can support my blog by buying me a coffee or just simply liking and reblogging this post. I also have a YT channel, that I admittedly never use personally but I have a ton of useful videos from other’s that I’ve put into neat little playlists for you :) and I’m on Insta.

Thanks for reading 💖💖

coffee // YT // Insta

#witchblr #witchcraft #witch discord #witch discourse #witches #elitist witch #gatekeeping witch #witch community #witchblr community

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inkabelledesigns · 4 years

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My attitude towards people is pretty simple. You're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. You're not nice to me, I simply won't talk to you because I have better things to do. People are people, doesn't matter what you look like, who you do or don't sleep with, how you identify, what religion you practice, what culture you're raised in, what political party you associate with, etc. None of that is anywhere near as important as the content of your character. If you're a kind person with good intentions, and you're trying your best, I'm happy to spend time with you and enjoy your company.

That's it. It really is that simple. I don't have time for arguments or discourse, there's enough of that elsewhere. I want my contribution to the world to be more positive, so I'll conduct myself as such. I'm down for some friendly debating if we have different opinions on games or art, or theorizing on stories we love. I'm happy to create together, laugh at dad jokes and puns, and get crazy as a fan of things.

My corner of the world is just that, a corner, one that I get to decide how to run. And I choose to run my corner as a place for love and celebration, of art, of people, and of dreams. I am someone that chooses to use my time to lift people up and encourage them to explore, to be their best selves. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness and to love themselves. There's still more I can do, and I'm learning to get better at it. We're all still learning, and that's a sentiment that's stuck with me.

We're all still learning. How can we be angry with each other when we're all still learning, still growing, still testing the waters and figuring things out? I don't like this idea that's been around the web for the past few years, that the way you are now is the way you'll be forever. People change, we're supposed to grow and change. Gradually of course, not all change is revolutionary, sometimes it has to be evolutionary. Some things remain consistent, but not all things. I think it all comes down to what you really believe in, and whether or not you're looking to do something good or to be the one who's "right."

Of course, there is a point where you can be too forgiving, too understanding, to the point where you don't really understand anything. It's hard to draw the line, hard to balance. I'll admit, I don't have a lot of faith in people most of the time, there's too many stories about all the bad in the world, told by people who have their own ideas to push rather than all the real details of what happened. But I look to the little moments, and I realize that sometimes, you need to live for those. You look to the people you care about. You look to the people that are trying their best. And you see something worth believing in. There are good people out there in the world, there are beautiful things happening all around us.

Our world isn't perfect. But it's not hell either. The best thing we can do is try to put our best foot forward every day. Sometimes your best isn't always at the same level day to day, that's okay. You don't always have to have it in you to be a good person. The fact that you're trying at all, that you want to keep improving and act on it, even if it's just a little bit each day, means something.

I dunno who out there needs to hear this, but I certainly need it today. I'm not one to talk much unless asked, but I realize that if I say this, maybe someone who needs to hear it will see it too and feel at least a little bit better. Have hope honey, chin up. Things will get better, nothing stays bad forever. We will get to a better place, we're choosing to get there. Together. You're not alone.

#rambling #inspired to do better #inspiration

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pitviperofdoom · 5 years

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Fundraiser Commission #8

Thank you for donating $20!

Prompt: “For the commission, I would like PitViperOfDoom to write a followup to their one shot Helping Hands. After Bakugo is expelled some members of Class 1-A (probably the Bakusquad) decide to talk to the boy whose abuse led to his expulsion. Only, it doesn't turn out to be just them helping him. He seems to have incredible insights into how they can improve how they use their quirks.”

This one gave me some trouble, but I’m happy with how it came out!

---

Lunch Rush’s katsudon is the only katsudon that Izuku can honestly, though not without some guilt, describe as better than Mom’s. Of course, unlike Lunch Rush, Mom’s quirk doesn’t help her cook beyond bringing the ingredients within reach. In Izuku’s wholly unbiased opinion, that concession puts his mother’s cooking back up on top.

Fortune smiles on him when the school cook puts out a fresh lunch tray out just in time for him to claim it. It makes up for how his day has been going so far. No one’s been mean, of course, but the rumors about yesterday have already started spreading, and there’s only so much of his classmates’ whispering that he can stand before he starts screaming from the stress.

Izuku turns away, debating whether to sit with his classmates or hide in the classroom to eat, only to find himself flanked on both sides by hero students.

Very familiar hero students, at that.

“Come sit with us, Midoriya!” Ashido Mina chirps near his ear.

“Unless you got somewhere else to be.” Kirishima is on his other side, holding a tray loaded with pretty much every meat available in the cafeteria. “It’s cool if you’ve got somewhere else to be, but we’d love for you to join us.”

Izuku’s head swivels back and forth, gaping at both of them in turn. “Um…” On instinct he shoots a glance at the table where a lot of his 1-C classmates usually sit. Shinsou and Ichioka stare back at him incredulously. Mochizuku grins and gives him a thumbs-up.

“Okay,” he says. “If you’re sure… lead the way.”

Ashido whoops and takes the lead, while Kirishima and a boy whose name Izuku doesn’t know hang back to walk with him.

“Hi, Midoriya!” the unknown boy says. “I just realized neither of them said that yet.”

“Hi,” Izuku says nervously. “Um, sorry, I don’t think we’ve been introduced?” His memory supplies him with the image of the boy slapping a length of tape over Kacchan’s mouth.

“I’m Sero Hanta!” The three of them reach the table where Ashido is sitting, along with two other girls and a boy with bright yellow hair. They introduce themselves as Uraraka, Asui (“Call me Tsuyu-chan!”), and Kaminari, and Izuku mumbles something incoherent as he slides into the seat by Kirishima. They’re all friendly enough, but out of all of them, Kirishima makes him the least nervous.

For a moment, Izuku sits frozen and speechless among students he doesn’t know. What is he supposed to say? The last time any of them saw him, he was crying after getting beaten up in front of them; what do they expect out of him?

“Oh!” he blurts out, then winces when Kaminari drops his chopsticks. “Thank you.”

In an instant, everyone is staring at him. He’s made a terrible mistake.

“Sheesh, Midoriya, you scared me there,” Kaminari laughed.

“Sorry,” Izuku says sheepishly. “But I mean it. Thank you, for yesterday. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course we did!” Ashido says, shocked.

“You’re in hero school, buddy,” Sero adds. “If there was ever a place where we ‘have’ to do that kind of stuff, it’s here.”

Izuku blushes. “Not everybody would have.”

“Yeah, well, not everybody is in UA’s hero course,” Kirishima points out.

“Including Bakugou,” Asui says dryly. Uraraka snorts beside her, then sobers.

“I probably shouldn’t laugh,” she says, wrinkling her nose to keep from doing so. “But I mean… Aizawa-sensei told us on the first day that he’d have us kicked out if he didn’t think we could make the cut. He literally told us that, and booted Mineta on day one, and Bakugou still pulled that. I mean, what did he think was going to happen? He’s lucky he just got transferred to Gen Ed!”

In spite of himself, Izuku gives a snort of his own. “Kacchan’s used to the rules not applying to him,” he mutters.

Kaminari barks out a laugh. “Sorry, I just… Kacchan? Seriously? How’s a guy like that end up with a cutesy nickname like Kacchan?”

Izuku shrugs, suddenly self-conscious. It’s a weird feeling, seeing people laugh at Kacchan instead of him. “Our moms were in the same pregnant yoga class. Technically our first playdates happened before we were born. We were really close when we were four. I don’t remember us not being friends.” He hesitates, poking at the egg in his katsudon. “Then his quirk came in, and mine didn’t, and… everything was different after that.”

Worried that he’s brought down the mood, he glances around at the others to gauge their reactions. Kaminari’s face is scrunched up like he smells something bad. Uraraka and Sero look indignant, Asui looks grave, and Kirishima looks like he’s about to cry.

“Sounds like a lousy friend,” Ashido says blithely.

“Ashido!” Sero elbows her, which, considering his elbows, must pack a punch.

“What? He is!”

“No, you’re right,” Izuku says. It’s taken a while to admit it, but he’s had some help with it. Kacchan was a bad friend. He acted the way he did because he chose to, not because Izuku deserved it. “He’s always been… competitive. Even when we were in daycare together, he was obsessed with being better than everyone. Every time I talked about the things I liked or the things I was good at, he’d remind me that he was better at them than I was.”

“That’s gotta be exhausting,” Kirishima says.

Izuku shrugs. “He was my first friend. I didn’t know being friends wasn’t supposed to be like that. I know better now, of course!” he adds quickly. “But back then, I thought it was normal.”

“What kind of stuff do you like to do?” Uraraka asks. “I mean, you already know we’re all on the hero track, but what about you?”

Izuku fidgets, suddenly nervous. “Oh! Um… well, I still really like heroics. Learning about… about heroes, and their statistics and stuff.”

“Like… business course stuff?” Kaminari asks.

“No, not really.” Izuku shakes his head. “Not the, um, marketing. I’m no good at that. I mean more like… the mechanics of their quirks and equipment, and their battle strategies and combat techniques. That kind of thing. See—” He falters for a moment. “When I was little, I wanted to be a hero. And even after I found out I was quirkless, I still looked for ways that I could become one. So… I watched them, and studied how they work. I still do. I know it probably sounds strange, but…”

“Lots of people make hero analysis a career,” Asui says, tapping her lips. “I’ve heard the Public Safety Commission have people for that.”

“Hey, yeah,” Sero says. “Even if you can’t be a hero, you can still work in heroics.”

“Yeah, I know…” Izuku says. It’s a good consolation prize. He thinks he could even be happy doing it.

“Nah,” Kirishima says.

Izuku turns to him, startled. “What?”

“Nah,” Kirishima repeats. “I think you could still do it. Become a hero.”

Izuku gapes at him.

“Dude, you grew up with an ultra-competitive jerk who tried to make you feel bad about yourself, you found out you didn’t have a quirk, and you still didn’t give up! You kept looking for ways to make it happen! You got that… that determination, y’know? That manly spirit. I think as long as you have that, quirks don’t matter. You could totally be a hero.”

For a moment, Izuku can only stare. “Well…” he stammers out when he finds his voice again. “You’ll be the first kid my age who thinks that.”

Ashido’s hand shoots up. “Second!”

“Third!” Uraraka and Kaminari say in unison.

“It only makes sense,” Asui says serenely, smiling at Izuku’s shocked face. “Just look at Aizawa-sensei. His quirk levels the playing field, but other than that, he fights without any special power.”

Izuku blushes fiercely under all the encouragement. “There’s never been a quirkless hero before,” he mumbles. “It’s unheard of.”

“Well, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible!” Ashido says. “It just means nobody’s done it yet.”

It’s a wonderful moment, which Izuku swiftly ruins by bursting into tears.

---

“Well, Midoriya,” Shinsou says dryly, clapping him on the shoulder so hard it almost hurts. “Don’t forget about us now that you’re famous enough to hang with the hero kids.”

“It’s not like that!

Mochizuku slaps his other shoulder. “Don’t get too comfortable!” she chirps cheerfully. “That open spot in Class 1-A is mine.”

“There are two,” Izuku points out.

“And three of us,” she says cheerily. “Watch your backs, boys!”

---

Ashido Mina

Quirk: Acid. Allows user to secrete corrosive liquid through her skin. Acid can be generated in high quantities from any area of skin. Can be manipulated by user?

Kirishima Eijirou

Quirk: Hardening. Allows user to harden any part of his body. Protects from physical threats by absorbing blunt force and preventing cutting damage.

Asui Tsuyu

Quirk: Frog form. Gives user features and abilities of a frog, including leg strength, wall climbing, extending tongue (more? Ask her?)

“Whatcha doin’?” Kaminari asks, almost dropping his tray on Izuku’s lunch table. With a yelp, Izuku shuts his notebook and shoves it in his bag with practiced speed.

“Nothing! Just notes for class!”

“Okay, man, chill,” Kaminari says. Around them, the others are taking seats as well. “You do you. Good for you for getting in on brains and stuff.”

“Man, seriously!” Ashido agrees. “I’m no good at that stuff. I’ve had on-off tutoring since I started middle school. People who can just sit down and study and get A’s on their own are incredible.”

“There’s nothing wrong with needing help sometimes!” Kirishima points out.

“Oh yeah, I know!” Ashido grins and fist-pumps. “Besides, I got in with my awesome skills! I can figure out everything else as I go!”

Izuku tries not to stare as she swings between complimenting him and complimenting herself. Ashido Mina is one of the most incredible people that he has ever met. It’s not just her wild coloring, either; nonstandard skin and hair colors are fairly common in the world of quirks. Even Izuku’s colors would have been improbable at best, if not impossible before quirks came into being.

But no, what stands out in Midoriya’s eyes is how smoothly Ashido’s effortless confidence meshes with her kindness. She thinks highly of herself, for good reason. She’s pretty, she’s athletic, and she has a fantastic quirk and a magnetic personality. But unlike the other good-looking, athletic, charismatic people with fantastic quirks that Izuku has met before, she doesn’t seem to feel the need to prove it to anyone. She just is, and that’s enough for her.

Bashfully, Izuku tells her as much, stumbling over his words as he struggles to make himself understood without offending her by accident. She listens, frowning thoughtfully as he manages to articulate his thoughts.

“That’s a weird thing to think about,” she remarks when he finishes babbling.

“Sorry,” Izuku mumbles.

“No no, I don’t mean it like that!” Ashido assures him. “It’s just… if somebody’s really confident but feels like they have to prove how good they are all the time… then they can’t really be that confident, can they?”

Izuku stares, openmouthed, before his jaw slowly shuts again. He hadn’t thought of it that way.

“Maybe that was Bakugou’s problem,” Kaminari muses. “You know? ‘Cause I’ve never met anybody as desperate as he was to prove how great they were.”

“Kacchan’s the most confident person I know,” Izuku points out. “That was his whole problem. Everybody praised his quirk, and how strong and smart he is, and that’s…” That’s why he got away with everything.

“Yeah, but he has a garbage personality,” Kaminari says bluntly. Ashido barks out a laugh, Uraraka and Sero snicker, and Kirishima purses his lips like he’s trying not to follow suit. “What? He does! Maybe that’s why he’s so obsessed with being better than everybody, so he can make up for the fact that nobody’s gonna like him otherwise.”

Izuku shoves in a mouthful of rice so he won’t have to answer, reddening when he catches Asui’s attention.

Rather than calling him on it, she turns to Ashido. “Ashido-chan, you pulled some cool moves in class yesterday. You’re really good at aiming your acid.”

“Thanks! I work super hard on that!”

“How do you train with your quirk without destroying stuff?” Sero asks, latching on to the new topic.

“My quirk’s not that bad,” Ashido says, huffing a little. “I mean, it used to be, but that was just when I was a little kid. You know, before quirk counseling.”

Izuku listens carefully. He’s always been interested in quirk counseling; it was something he was left out of, obviously, and there was only so much that he could observe from afar before his teacher told him to go back to his word searches.

“It till melts through concrete,” Asui points out. “How do you practice with it?”

“I can change how strong the acid is,” Ashido explains. “If I’m really pulling punches I can get it to the same level as like, lemon juice. So it’d suck to get it in your eyes or in a paper cut, but I’m not gonna melt any walls. It’s good for target practice! Which is still really hard, because it’s liquid.”

“Can you change anything else about your acid?” Izuku asks, now leaning forward with interest.

“Yep! I can change the, uh, what’s the word.” Ashido gestures vaguely. “I can make it thicker instead of just liquid.”

“You can control the viscosity?”

“That’s the one!” Ashido points to him. “My favorite trick is to make it super weak and, uh, viscous, so I can slide around on it! I asked for a good boot design that would help me keep control, too.”

“Could you make it solid?” Izuku asks. “Like gelatin? That might make precision easier, with less of a risk of sending out droplets when you throw it.”

Ashido’s dark eyes widen. Her lips part in surprise, before a wide, delighted grin spreads over her face. “Jelly bombs,” she whispers. “Midoriya, you’re a genius!”

Izuku flushes deeply. For the first time, he thinks that maybe his new… friends? Are they friends? They’re certainly treating him like one, he thinks.

Well. Maybe, for once…

“Hey, uh, guys?” he says, voice cracking with leftover nervousness. Before he can chicken out, he reaches down to retrieve his notebook. “Want to see something I’ve been working on?”

It’s the most fun he’s ever had in the lunchroom before.

#my hero academia #commission #fanfiction #tales from the pit

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sternentinte · 5 years

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Emogust - 14.08.|In which character A. protects character B. from danger

He gets the box.

Heiji is in an appropriate state of panic—Kudou disappeared, was taken away by his mother that doesn’t exist (read: Edogawa Fumiyo) and Neechan doesn’t even know it yet. She’ll know soon though, as soon as she realizes that what she just perceives as a weeklong break in between her boyfriend’s more or less regular phone calls, is in fact a perhaps permanent stop.

Heiji dreads this happening, but he knows it’s coming. What he doesn’t know is what the hell is actually going on, and no matter what he tries he can’t figure out where Kudou is and for what reason he doesn’t know.

What he knows is that a) the little neechan from the professor’s house is missing, too, and b) said professor doesn’t know what happened either. It is strange because Heiji knows that the professor is Kudou’s number one confidant. More important than Heiji (even though that hurts a little) and more important than Neechan (but that’s because he insists on not telling her things to protect her. Ridiculous, in Heiji’s opinion. If there’s one girl that can defend herself it’s Neechan. Except for Kazuha, of course, he amends. Kazuha might be even better at it, if only because she’s not as nice.)

He still decides to go to Tokyo though, because there is no way he is going to give up on his friend, on his best friend, and that is where he gets the box.

“I was debating on whether I should show you this”, Professor Agasa says, his face tired and years older than the last time Heiji saw him. It’s scary in a way.

“What is it?”, he asks, eager for information, for any information on what happened. He wants to do something, dammit.

“This.”, Agasa says, and puts a box on the table. It’s made from cardboard and not exactly tiny, but also not huge. It seems like something that would contain old CDs or maybe letters. The more interesting part of it is how it’s covered all over in duct tape. And the little note on top of the cover.

Professor, give this to Hattori-kun ONLY if my or Haibara’s body is found.

“I probably shouldn’t be giving this to you”, he says, and the guilt is obvious in his every motion.

“But surely, this also counts?”, he mumbles, more to himself than to Heiji, “They disappeared, and the Black Organisation is after them… I can’t even track Shinichi-kun’s glasses.”

So maybe whoever took them knew about the glasses, Heiji’s brain suggests, making the deduction near automatically, or he left them behind purposefully.

“You don’t have to take it.”, the professor says, “maybe you shouldn’t open it until-” His voice almost breaks. “-until the conditions are met. It seems so serious, but-”

“I’ll take it.”, Heiji says. This is what he needs. He needs some way to make this right.

He opens the box as soon as he is home. Some of the contents he understands immediately, others not so much. But either way, he knows what this is. Evidence. Evidence, little signs and theories, names, and information. It’s a lot, but it also isn’t because surely there must be more information that Kudou could compile about this organisation in almost a year, but there isn’t. So maybe he didn’t. It’s a terrifying thought, because Kudou is brilliant, maybe the best detective Heiji knows—probably better than himself, even though he never would have said that out loud. Not before for sure.

This is a treasure, he decides, because he has a hunch that this might be more than anyone else knew about this organisation, ever, without being a part of it. This is a treasure and he will make sure he will use it to his best capacity. And if it’s the last thing he does.

“Heiji!”, Kazuha calls from the hall and Heiji hurries to hide the box and its contents before she enters the room.

“Did you just get home?”, she asks, looking at the jacket he’s still wearing. He didn’t even notice he forgot to take it off.

“Seriously, where were you?”, Kazuha asks, “I went looking for you.”

“I was just looking into a case.”, Heiji lies and that’s how it starts.

The more Heiji looks into the material, the more he realises he can’t do this the way Kudou did it. He can’t be a teen detective going over his head. He feels the deadliness of his secrets and it haunts him in his sleep. He can’t get himself killed, or disappeared, or whatever, because then he can’t find Kudou.

He needs to find Kudou.

(He feels guilty every time he has to tell Neechan he’s trying. She still looks so hopeful.)

He can’t do this on his own—but he can’t pull anyone else into this. He needs to be better.

Kazuha confesses to him a couple of weeks before they graduate high school. It’s almost been a year now and Heiji hasn’t made a lot of progress—not enough. It’s right after the Gosho Girl’s first concert—at Ran’s school—and it was a huge success. Heiji is so happy for them, not only because they have found something for themselves but because Neechan looks happier than he has seen her in a long time.

Then Kazuha says it. They are in the small room that constitutes backstage and somehow, they are the only ones there—Heiji doesn’t quite understand how, but it’s not what’s important there.

“Heiji”, she says, so carefully and quietly, as if they are the most important words in the world. Maybe they are.

“Heiji, I am in love with you.”

Heiji’s heart soars and he is so happy, so, so happy, but at the same time his heart breaks.

“I wish you didn’t say that.”, he says, because it’s honest and he can’t bring himself to say, “I don’t feel the same way.” Because that’s a lie and Heiji’s still terrible at lying, especially to Kazuha.

“Why?”, Kazuha says and he can see the tears forming in her eyes and he hates himself.

He finds himself being honest again. “Because I can’t be your boyfriend.”

“Why?”, Kazuha says, her voice raising, half-angry, half-upset.

He shrugs unhappily, because he doesn’t know what to tell her. He’s given up on the idea, he doesn’t quite know when, it was a gradual process. He finally understands why Kudou lied to Neechan like that, it’s for the same reason. And Heiji can’t do that to Kazuha, he can’t bring himself to. Even if he can’t tell her the secrets, for her own good, he can’t make himself lie. And if he has made it his goal to do this, no matter what it takes, he can’t be her boyfriend. Because if he was, he fears, he won’t be able to make himself do it the way it needs to.

And he has to learn from Kudou’s mistakes. (He can’t disappear on his girlfriend because they are getting to close. He can’t get himself killed either.)

Heiji starts training for the PSIA immediately after graduation. It’s not what he wanted, originally, he had always wanted his own agency somewhere, be a detective on his own terms, but this is the way he needs to go if he wants to solve the secrets in the box. He needs to be smart about it, and this is the best way.

Kazuha forgives him even before they graduate.

“Why?”, he asks, because he honestly can’t fathom any reason he’d deserves it.

“Because you’d kill yourself on accident if I wasn’t there to look out for you.” She shrugs like it is the most obvious thing in the world.

He isn’t sure if it’s the real reason, but he is glad either way.

They move to Tokyo together, Heiji for his training, Kazuha for the band, and naturally, they share their apartment. Heiji’s so glad she is there, because without her, this awful city might kill him, even sooner than any idiocy on his part that Kazuha might like to cite. So maybe she is right, after all.

They are good as roommates because they are good as friends, always were, but sometimes it hurts, because Heiji knows it’s not quite what he wants. Still, he’s glad he has a familiar face to come back to at the end of the day and he knows Kazuha is happy—the band is doing so well—even if in the back of his head he wonders if she would be happier.

Heiji’s training is awful, especially at first. They take him in easily, he has a good track record with all the work he’s done as a high schooler, but at heart, he’s not the right kind of person to be an agent. He’s a terrible liar and a worse actor and he doesn’t do well at hiding his emotions at all.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”, his educator asks him at the end of the first week.

“You are a smart kid, I can tell, but maybe you’d be better off somewhere else. This kind of work rips good people apart all the time. There are other ways you can do good.”

Heiji looks at him and he knows the guy is right. He’s trying to do him a favour and he’s right because this is not what Heiji was made for. But it is what he will make himself be made for, because he has no choice.

“I have to do this.”, he says, and the educator nods, sadly, tiredly, like he’s heard it too many times before.

The next day, he gets a phone call from the professor.

The new envelope has a computer stick in it; the data heavily encrypted. But that’s not important—well it is—but not as much as the handwriting on it.

Add it to the box.

Kudou is still somewhere out there. And Heiji can’t disappoint him.

More envelopes come, sporadically as much as irregularly, over the years as Heiji rises in the ranks. They rarely put him out to do field work; somehow, he has come to be better at gathering data, trying to make sense of it. Maybe that’s because it’s what he’s been doing all the time. Trying to make sense. No matter what the others say, he still doesn’t feel like he’s very good at it.

While he tries to make himself be the person who can do this, Kazuha and the girls take off.

One concert becomes many and then they release their first album. Heiji is so proud of them. By now, he can almost smile at Neechan again.

After their album comes a Japan-wide tour and Heiji misses Kazuha terribly while she’s gone. When she comes back, he wants to kiss her, but he doesn’t, and they watch a silly movie together instead, and she tells him about all the places she went and the people she’s met. It’s not quite what he wants, but it’s still pretty good.

He tries not to be jealous when she goes on dates, but he’s pretty sure she notices anyway.

It’s been three and a half years when the pieces finally start coming together. It’s not only Kudou’s information by now, but a mixture of that and his own investigation, gathered information, small hunches, his people’s observation, suspicious news stories. It all comes together, and he starts seeing the enormous web he’s caught.

It’s only a matter of time now.

(Oh, how he hopes it is—he is so tired. He works with his old educator sometimes, and the man looks at him too knowingly. It’s the same look Kazuha gives him when he comes home and feels like he’s dead inside—no matter what he does he’s still not made for this job. But he can do it and he’s so close.)

It’s two months later when he finds them. The FBI finds them first, but that doesn’t matter—not really, anyway, but they’re alive and Heiji wants to stand on Tokyo Tower and yell it into the world, but that wouldn’t be a very good strategy, so he doesn’t.

He pulls a few strings (more like a thousand and his gut slowly out of his mouth, at least that’s what it feels like—the FBI is crazy protective) to organise a meet up.

Kudou looks tired. He looks different and weak, like he’s sick maybe, like he has been for a long time.

But then he looks up and his eyes are the same.

Heiji throws himself at him with a hug. They never were friends that hug, but does it matter now?

“Hattori.”, Kudou says, when he’s finally let go, “How?”

“I am the PSIA contact that has info on your organisation.”, Heiji explains, like it’s the natural thing.

He pulls out his folder, then the box.

Kudou looks at it, like it invokes mixed feelings.

“You weren’t supposed to get that-“

“Not unless I found yours or that little neechan’s dead body, I know. I have it anyway and I think I did a pretty good job with it.”

Kudou sighs.

Then he looks up. “You don’t figure you might have seen our cat, have you?”

It takes them about a month to compare notes. Technically it’s Heiji taking Kudou’s witness report, but they both know that’s garbage. Even though the critical part is not quite done yet, Heiji feels as if a weight has been lifted off his chest.

Kazuha notices, too.

“You’re doing better.”, she says one night, when Heiji almost falls asleep watching the News the third time this week.

“Eh?”, he asks. Him being crazily tired from work usually doesn’t count as him doing better in her books.

“You’re smiling.”, she says, matter-of-factly, but she’s smiling, too.

“Oh.”, he says. “Work is going well.”

She nods and doesn’t ask further. Heiji tells himself he’s not lying to her, just omitting the truth. It’s been his policy this far, or maybe always—don’t lie to Kazuha, keep your secrets if you must. He’s sure she knows there’s more to it, but she won’t ask him about work. She’s not cruel enough to.

“You know”, Kazuha says, and snuggles into his side as they sit next to each other on the couch, “I feel like things are changing, for all of us.”

“What do you mean?”, he asks, even if he feels like he already knows, but those are things Kazuha can’t know, never could guess.

“’M not sure.”, she says, yawning, “For all of us though. You, me, Ran-chan, Aoko-chan, Sonoko-chan. Something’s changing.”

“Think it’ll be good?”

She looks at him, and she’s so close, and Heiji wants to kiss her, but he doesn’t.

“I hope so.”, she says.

“Me too.”

-------- @mintchocolateleaves, @sup-poki

#DCMKEmogust2019 #girl band au #heiji hattori #kazuha toyama #heikazu #shinichi kudou #dcmk #I can't believe I wrote two of these in a row #i should really go to bed #This just flew off my fingers #Wow #Only one day behind!

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deathchasing · 5 years

Text

romance headcanons

name: octavio silva.

nickname: octane! he’s been called oct and ‘tav for short, but in general he doesn’t appreciate these nicknames unless you know him super well (though that doesn’t stop people from using them).

gender: male. he/him.

romantic orientation: he’s never really given it much thought-- gender doesn’t really play a role in who he’s attracted to, but he does tend to lean more towards other men. personality, demeanor, and dynamic matter far more to him. in a word, he’s ... dangersexual? oof.

preferred pet names: none that he would admit to liking. whether they’re ‘pet’ names is debatable. they’re certainly not terms of endearment for the average person.

relationship status: he’s definitely got something significant though ill-defined going on with @corrodent, whatever that might be - otherwise a couple of unhealthy flings as per the usual.

favorite canon/fandom ship: fandom tends to put him in fluffy ships with mirage mainly, but I personally don’t see octane really fitting into that framework (sorry miroctane fans). He’s a disaster dedicated to chasing a high no matter the cost; he doesn’t have the leftover commitment to spare for a healthy, stable relationship, nevermind that in canon he clearly lacks the emotional maturity for one, friendship or otherwise. caustane is my fav ship for obvious reasons, the dynamic is a really interesting one from a storytelling standpoint, and there’s potential on both sides for various conflict and growth. i think the age gap bothers some people which is valid but octane doesn’t strike me as the kind of character who would care at all.

cryptane is also really growing on me! lots of potential there too, especially re: crypto having no choice but to be in the games and octane being there purely by choice. i’m excited to explore it.

favorite crossover ship: up until really recently the only ships I had aside from caustane were crossover ships! it’s too hard to choose! i of course love my crossover buddies @incnspcuous, @zweiherzen, @programregulator <3

opinion on true love: the concept of love confuses him. he’s not really sure what it is? he grew up learning that in order to be loved he had to be good enough to deserve it, whatever that might entail. old man silva didn’t much care for a son that had no interest in carrying on with his work, and so octavio went a long time believing it was his own fault he wasn’t loved. nowadays he’s fiercely defensive of his self-worth, always the first to step up and prove himself, but on the downside it means he doesn’t really accept love anymore - it would meaning opening himself to the potential of losing that love, too, and that’s something he can’t handle, not after what he went through when he was younger, constantly vying for love he knew deep down he would never receive.

people he cares enough about still can get under his skin without much trouble, unfortunately, and dredge up this younger self that’s so terrified of being alone. he’s easily taken advantage of in this manner.

opinion on love at first sight: perhaps not necessarily ‘love,’ despite what he may think, but he’s certainly looked at a certain someone before and been riveted on the spot.

how ‘romantic’ are they?: hardly, if at all. octane can barely sit still long enough to have a single quiet, intimate exchange (though he has his moments), and prefers fun and games and banter more than anything affectionate or soft.

ideal physical traits: not hugely important, but being bigger than him and/or capable of snapping him over a table like dry pasta is a bonus.

ideal personality traits: given his track record, octane primarily finds himself magnetized to dark, cold, intelligent individuals, often capable of doing him great mental and physical harm. the more terrifying, the more octane finds himself attracted. flirting with death is almost a point of pride for him; he likes to see how far he can get before he’s outsmarted, and it’s his pursuit of greater thrills through this outlet that feeds his desire for validation. of course, there’s also the misery that comes of these qualities, but it’s so normalized for him he doesn’t pay much mind to the stress it puts on his psyche.

unattractive physical traits: nothing of note, really.

unattractive personality traits: there’s not much he finds outstandingly unattractive. he definitely doesn’t like people who aren’t true to themselves, who lie about who they are for approval or because they fear rejection. he finds it doesn’t do anyone any favors to water down who you are for the sake of societal or cultural mores. be unabashedly yourself or forfeit the claim you have on your place in the universe. he wouldn’t say he’s a hypocrite in respect to this belief either, because while he does wear a mask, octane is more of a persona meant to celebrate the qualities about himself he cherishes - it’s freeing to him, not a prison like it might otherwise be to someone afraid of who they are.

ideal date: honestly he’s down for anything. he loves trying new things and going to new places. of course, he’s less inclined to go to fancier places-- it’s hard for him to behave, much less stick to using his inside voice-- but really he’ll always be excited and revved up to do whatever his partner wants to do, unless it’s exceedingly boring.

do they have a type?: haha. pretty obvious at this point that he does.

average relationship length: as mentioned, he doesn’t really do committed relationships. he doesn’t have the patience or willingness to dedicate himself to someone in that matter. he tends to spend a lot of his time around one or two primary people but prefers to keep these relationships open. he’s selfish, basically - and beneath the surface, feeling caged or limited is quite frightening to him.

preferred non-sexual intimacy: he’s not a big fan of non-sexual intimacy, actually, feels about it much the same way he feels about love. affection makes him intensely aware of himself and his feelings and all the squishy, vulnerable parts of himself he guards so staunchly. he would rather be beaten within an inch of his life than lovingly caressed. it hurts so much more to bear his heart.

commitment level: i think this is a good area to elaborate that while octane doesn’t exactly do committed relationships, he is extremely loyal and dedicated to those he cares deeply for. despite his selfishness, he is willing to make sacrifices if it means doing right by someone important in his life - he would love nothing more than to make them proud of him. occasionally this does become more important than whatever his needs may be. at the end of the day, he’s a sweet boy and does care about other people, it just pains him to do so, and it’s an inconvenience he doesn’t enjoy humoring.

opinion of public affection: he’s shameless. you could slap his ass in front of the entire syndicate and he probably wouldn’t blink an eye.

past relationships?: he’s had one-night stands in the past-- not as many as people might suspect with that attitude-- but nothing significant. caustic is really the first relationship he’s had that’s lasted longer than a month or two.

tagged by: @incnspcuous <3 tagging: @enccrypted, @corrodent, @programregulator, @driftyr, @zweiherzen, @ajayslullaby, @psycchout and whoever else wants to take a shot!

#; PUBLICITY STUNT #(fill meme.)

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sometimesrosy · 4 years

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Wow did you see all that drama with those Rey and Ben shippers and John Boyega who plays Finn? Now I have nothing against them all but some of them took it too far. So what John doesn't like a ship, there is no need to abuse him with vicious racist slurs on social media and he snapped back posting a video of their terrible tweets with everyone to see than they started playing the victim card even though they are the ones who tagged him in their racism publicly, no one to blame but themselves.

Oh rlly? I didn’t see the latest saga, but I saw the part about how they called him sexist for shipping rey and finn, and being vaguely smutty, which I think is hypocritical for a fandom that shipped r/ylo and made a mc heroine’s journey all about a man. And they were not nonsexual either. I saw those conversations. They were mocking him for portraying what they saw as the losing side in a love triangle (but it wasn’t really a love triangle and they didn’t win it if it was.)

I didn’t see his video but I SO believe it. And I believe they attacked him with racist slurs and then played the victim. I had a very similar experience in fandom on a much smaller level. I’m not famous, and I had nothing to do with the content created, but I also was attacked by a fandom of a “winning” ship in a shipwar whose fave then died. I have been called a lesbophobe... which is a very tricky thing because homophobia is wrong and the claim turns me into the bad guy, whether it’s true or not, the evil person, right? I’m the one who’s the bigot, according to that claim, and anything I do to defend myself is seen as evidence of of it being true, no matter my past history or present actions, and it was, in fact supported by straight up lies and misrepresentations. They did this by erasing my lived experience as a domestic abuse victim which I flat out told them from the very beginning of my critique. I was speaking as a abuse survivor on what I saw. They said no I was lying, that wasn’t real, i hated lesbians. And if it was real, I should be silent because lesbians were more important than abuse victims. And I also deserved my abuse and should die and couldn’t possibly understand the TRAUMA of seeing your fictional representation in fear for her life and having love be equated with pain (while being a DOMESTIC ABUSE VICTIM WHO HAD LITERALLY BEEN IN FEAR FOR HER LIFE WHERE LOVE=PAIN.)

1. not true.

2. invalidating the trauma and experience of domestic abuse.

3. Silencing and re-victimizing the victim, not just denying the abuse happened but then adding to the abuse.

So like they attacked JB for being sexist, and then go after him for what they perceive as his weakness/character flaw. being black. They try to silence him (to which he’s like, no i don’t think so) and destroy his character by making him the villain. Using his race as the weapon.

I mean. I mean. What could they be thinking?

Why would they say shit like that?

So, I don’t have a very good opinion of fandom. Some of fandom is fantastic. There’s no where else I can talk about my super geeky love of literary analysis and symbolism in freaking science fiction and fantasy (my literary nerds don’t get genre stuff and my sff nerds are not really interested in the literary analysis obsession.) It has been a delight and a privilege to be able to con y’all into doing academic literary analysis for fun, like I enjoy. I mean. It’s not a con. I tell you what I’m doing, let’s call it a “seduction.” lol. It’s also great to find people like you especially if you’re in a place where you dont’ have a supportive community. It’s amazing for creativity and fanworks.

BUT fandom can be like a pack of hyenas. People who want power flock to this world, the internet anonymity, the power to gatekeep, the lack of self freaking reflection, this misapprehension that they can create canon to fit their preferences and fancies and whatever they say is real, and the fandom that shouts the others down the loudest is the one who gets to say what canon means.

To that I say POPPYCOCK!

Canon is canon, bitch. You dont’ get to control it because you have the biggest girl gang with the fastest hot rod. This is not Grease.

Those people attacking JB, being racist? They may think their ad hominem attacks give them control over him (like they thought calling me demon gave them control over me [hint: it didn’t]) but what it really does is reveal their OWN lack of character.

First it makes it obvious that they can’t separate fantasy from reality.

Second it shows their obsessions are out of control. (take a break kids)

Third it shows that they cannot discuss canon or argue their point with logic or evidence so they resort to non-relevant personal attacks, which means that either their position HAS no evidence to support it or they are not good enough at debating to defend their argument.

Fourth it shows THAT THEY ARE RACIST!!!! You don’t use a person’s race to drag them unless you think that race is inferior. A person’s race is not a character trait, y’all. This attitude is RACIST. and if you didn’t mean to be racist but went along with the loudest voices who are racist... YOU ARE STILL RACIST. Maybe not in the lynching way. Maybe just in the Nice White Lady (NWL) way, which is STILL RACIST. Those are the kind of people who think black people should stay in their place and sit on the back of the bus and say please and thank you when people are being racist to them, and always consider their NWL feelings when criticizing them because no one should ever make them feel sad for being racist. Not that they want to STOP being racist, just that they don’t want to feel sad about it so please don’t mention their racism, and while we’re at it, don’t disagree with them. Please and thank you, oh aren’t you a nice POC. You’re one of the nice ones.*

Listen. Fandom may be fun and we may feel like we’ve found a home here, but do not EVER be uncritical of fandom. It IS NOT a safe place. Not only can you be the target of racism and harassment and abuse and targeting, but you can also be the victim of people who are intentionally trying to manipulate you into following them and their agenda. Maybe their agenda is just to have more followers who love them, but maybe their agenda is to spread their toxic ideas and destabilize the very communities that are supportive to people who are marginalized.

To be truthful, watching the Star Wars fandom become this toxic clusterfuck ever since TFA came out was what made me realized my experience in fandom wasn’t personal or isolated, but was in fact a FEATURE of fandom, not a bug.

Y’all life does not have to be like that. And neither does fandom.

*this is sarcasm. NWLs expecting niceness when people are racially oppressed IS STILL RACIST.

#ugh

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ambitionsource · 4 years

Note

001 for Maggie!! About Rucas!

werk werk werk lets go lets go lets gooooo!

Riley & Lucas James

When I started shipping it if I did: okay so like… technically I cannot answer this question because I… like… made the show so fkdsjhgkjdfgd BUT. interestingly enough i’ve actually said before that if I were a viewer of AAA and not the creator, i would be very cautious about RL. like i think it would take me a while to warm up to the possibility of them (as well as lucas, bc i think the “seemingly broody snarker with a heart of gold and is secretly soft” can be HORRIBLY done), but i think around 103 i would start to change my opinion about lucas (and then would be definitive about him after 105 from the way he is with isa), and then i think i’d really lock into RL at the end of 107 with their convo in the aud where she’s like “maybe you don’t have to do everything alone” and hes like “… no maybe not.” that’s my genuine honest feeling on how i’d approach it as a viewer

My thoughts: many thoughts… many thoughts head empty… i guess like the entire show are my thoughts FJDSKLGFDG but i will say i’m very excited for the rest of S2 for them, as well as going into the next season. it’s gonna be really fun to see y’alls reactions and hopefully we’ll come out on the other side together ✊🏻

What makes me happy about them: oh so much… how riley is so skilled at catching lucas off guard and seeing through his defenses from like day 1 (and evidenced early on i.e. the way she just plops down at their lunch table and he literally stops eating gkfdhgkjdsfh), how deeply they respect one another and see the other for what they are capable of rather than how they view themselves with all these imperfections and limitations, how lucas encourages riley to stand up for herself and be empowered and not downplay herself, and conversely how riley is slowly but surely changing lucas’s perspective on the world and what he deserves from it and that romance can be real, touch can be soft and non-threatening, love isn’t inherently a weakness to be taken advantage of but something delicate and lovely and a source of power (i.e., i think that lucas’s growth and interactions with riley also influence how he reevaluates his friendships with like dasher and stuff like that – something you’ll definitely see evidence of in 209)… could go on probably

What makes me sad about them: oh well like. how self-destructive lucas is at this point and how he literally cannot fathom that people care about him – let alone romantically that’s like a whole other ballpark. how their own insecurities allowed external opinions to detour their dynamic, although understandable. the trickiness that exists currently where riley, just being a generally forgiving and optimistic person, is constantly being told that she needs to give up on lucas and that there is a sort of question she and probably us as viewers start to wonder of like… is it even worth it? whether lucas deserves riley’s devotion is certainly up for debate, and it’ll be interesting to see if he addresses the mess of the last few months moving forward… but then it’s tricky too, because much like the position dylan was put in, i think in some ways riley does need to still have faith in lucas, because if she doesn’t then who will, and it’s kind of like… very complex. very messy, much to analyze and pick apart and perhaps account for at the end of the day… but that’s the kind of complexity i love in relationships (provided steps are taken to amend them to the best of their ability and respect always remains intact), so it’s no surprise they have all this fkdshkfjdhgkjdfshdh.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: well obvious fanfic doesn’t really exist, but i’ve been in fandom long enough to be able to say EXACTLY what would happen if ambition were a huge fandom like tw, glee, etc. the first thing that would annoy me the most would be an exaggeration of rl’s worst traits to make them like a pairing that they aren’t – key being making lucas more aggressive, dominant, and like genuinely disrespectful, and then making riley like an innocent wallflower pure goody two shoes or whatever. like that kind of characterization really strips down their complexity as characters (and is also like just wrong FDJSKFDSLG like one thing i’m excited for in S3 is the chance to really explore what they’re actually LIKE when like… depression isn’t warping their personalities FJDSKFLDSGJ and also how they bring out certain traits in one another). i also feel like any sort of like… overt tooth-rotting romanticism would feel really ooc for them; they are quite romantic in how they treat one another and see one another, but both of their personalities in a relationship together i think create a romance built more on realism and appreciation and a sort of grounded display of love than anything even remotely Cheesy. that’s one thing that really changes about riley from The Former Source Material to AAA is that she’s far more grounded given how her parents have… spun out let’s say

Things I look for in fanfic: i do think often about how nice it would be to just go on ao3 and scroll the ambition tags… find a good rl zc or da fic to peruse… oh there’d be garbage undoubtedly but the good fics… i would like to see it 😔anyway lmao i think if i were looking for rl fics in aaa i would look for ones that a) retain their core character traits and b) strike that perfect balance of grounded yet uniquely soft in the way rl are with each other that they aren’t with anyone else – i wouldn’t want to see their integrity thrown for the sake of being uber fluffy. but that’s like just a complete personal pref.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: hmm… obviously this is all conjecture, but in terms of CANON, i cannot see lucas ending up with anyone else. like i just do not think it’s on his radar at all – it wasn’t before riley showed up, and if she floated away, he’d go back to just forgoing it entirely (it’s not entirely a joke when we joke around that lucas is rileysexual fkjdhsgk). riley i think like, zay would treat her nicely if they were ever to go past best friends. fanon wise just going by dynamics and personalities, i have a really special place in my heart for lucas x charlie (oh, and how fun it will be to share that dynamic with y’all in the future bc reading that rn i’m sure y’all are like HUH JFGDKLJGFLKSJHKLDSJHLJFDHL valid!!). could also probably enjoy a riley x isa fic or two. i also love digging into the relationship between lucas and asher (especially given that asher was lucas’s first crush… he he he) but as for them actually being a relationship i couldn’t because i’m 10000% sure they’d kill each other. even dylucasher wouldn’t work romantically, because as nice as it all is if lucasher didn’t kill each other, dylan would end up killing them both after mentally Snapping from playing mediator one heckin time too many. so. yes. fDSJKGLDFKLHFKLDH

My happily ever after for them: i can’t really say specifically because spoilies!! but i just want them to feel… settled. they’re constantly in worlds of turbulence right now, and i can’t wait for the day that they can just be together and get away from the city (because i firmly believe lucas hates living in the city) and just. start a life on their terms. that will be so beautiful :’)

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: i’m inclined to say lucas is the big spoon, but i don’t think it’s set in stone at all. like you know, if there’s a particularly rough day and lucas really needs that Comfort, then riley will by all means be the big spoon and hug him real tight. it’s what they both deserve!!

What is their favorite non-sexual activity: i love that this question specifies non-sexual specifically FDJSKFDKLSGJFLDKH like are there couples who truly enjoy sex with one another above all else…………. but i will say i think one thing that is nice about RL is the most important thing to them is just being together. like i think they’ll happily spend hours in the booth together not like, actively doing anything and focused on their own things (homework, production work, what have you) but just the other person’s presence there with them is comforting. you kind of see this in 109 when riley takes refuge in the booth, and i think this is core to their relationship. they don’t need to be talking or actively doing much – just maybe like, riley is tapping her foot against his knee absentmindedly or has her feet up in his lap. if they’re sitting closer, lucas is rubbing her knee with his thumb. you know what i mean? presence and the knowledge that they’re together is more important than any sort of sense of Action if that makes sense. but some others to list would be getting out of the city and going exploring in the Fresh Air away from… everything and everyone else lmao, and going to the animal shelter!!

send some winter hiatus asks !! :)

#thank you for sending!!!!!!#i love them... i do dont ever think i dont #riley x lucas #winter hiatus 2019 #Anonymous #maggie #answered

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ectowaves · 5 years

Text

My Best friend’s Secret

Prompter: @ladylynse

Prompt: Jack was just trying to plan a surprise for his good ol’ friend Vladdy. He… did not expect to discover a secret lab in Vlad’s mansion-or a second portal or weaponry to rival theirs or-was that a hologram of his wife?

Words: 3734

Warnings: Mentions of Torture, Implications of Torture, Smoking

“Come on, we need to hurry up!” Jack Fenton told his family, “Vladdy will be home any minute and we need to make this party perfect!”

The family had been setting up for Vlad’s surprise birthday party since six-thirty in the morning. The party had to be the best, because Vlad deserved the best. He was the closest friend that Jack had ever had, besides Maddie. He felt guilty for missing so many of his best friend’s birthdays. Today would hopefully make it up to him.

Several friends of Vlad and Jack had come to help set up the mansion’s ballroom. Jack didn’t need to convince them to come- everyone loved Vladdy! They seemed like they were having fun, but Jack’s family seemed like they would rather be anywhere else.

Jack couldn’t understand why. Last time everyone was excited to visit Vlad, so why made this time different? Maybe they didn’t appreciate waking up early and were mad at him? Jack hoped that wasn’t the case. Maddie and Jazz were half heartedly putting up streamers. Danny looked like he thought the whole party was a joke and was busy fiddling around with his phone.

Jack frowned. His son had gotten moodier lately and Jack couldn’t understand why. The boy seemed to not want to be anywhere around his family. He was always angry or mopey. Fudge couldn’t even bring the boy out of his funk. What was even worse in Jack’s opinion was when he asked if Danny wanted to go stargazing. Danny, who used to want to take any chance to watch the stars, rejected his offer.

“Danny, those balloons aren’t going to blow themselves up!” Jack called, startling his son. The boy dropped his phone.

“We’ve run out,” Danny grimaced at the damage is phone had taken.

“I’ll go see if I can find anymore,” Jack said, loud enough for everyone else in the room to hear, “I think I left a pack in Vlad’s study.

The unasked question hung in the air. Maddie rolled her eyes and was about to offer to go with him when their mutual friend Harriet Chin interrupted.

“I’ll go with you.” Harriet Chin said putting the last chair in place around one of the food tables, “We don’t want you to get distracted and I think I am in need of a break.”

Maddie frowned but returned to putting up streamers with Jazz. Danny continued texting, much to Jack’s chagrin. Everyone else returned to the tasks that they were doing. Jack smiled at his old friend. The two walked out into the hallway in companionable hallway.

Vlad’s mansion was one of the biggest places that Jack Fenton had ever seen. By the look on Harriet’s face, the same was true to her. The royal blue carpet was almost way too expensive for either of the two to be walking on. Jack frowned at the multiple paintings in the hallway. They all looked so sad, what had happened to all of them?

One painting disturbed Jack the most. The picture was the only one of someone smiling. The boy looked to be at peace, but in a way that showed he was in despair. The most disturbing part of the painting? The boy looked creepily like his own son Danny. Jack shook away the goose bumps crawling up his skin.

The ballroom wasn’t too far away from Vlad’s study. Jack wondered what Vlad would do if a party was going on while he was in the study. But, if a party was happening at Vlad’s house, Vlad would probably be there and not in his study.

The two stopped in front of a large door. The door was engraved with strange letters. Jack made a mental note to ask Vlad about it’s meaning later. He pushed open the door.

“Nice study,” Harriet grinned and pulled out a note book, “I wonder what secrets are hidden in here.”

“Probably secrets of the Packers!” Jack laughed while noting the dozens of bookshelves in the room. He felt himself wandering over to a shelf and picking up a book. Flipping through, he found an article about some sort of ghost… Clockwork? Jack read the book’s spine Ghost Zone Myths. Where did Vlad find a book like that? Jack shoved the book into one of his deep pockets. Vlad wouldn’t miss one book.

“NICE.” Harriet sarcastically said. Jack turned to see what the reporter was looking at. Once he saw, the big man blushed.

The reporter was looking at a painting that Jack had commissioned for his best friend’s birthday. It was a picture of Jack Maddie and Vlad from their college days. Jack chose for the artist to paint a picture of the day they went out for a random picnic. The portrait was huge, nearly the size of the desk it was leaning against. He couldn’t wait for Vlad to see it. He knew Vlad would love it. The expensive painting would lighten up Vlad’s hallway.

Jack and Harriet continued looking through the study, all thoughts of balloons long gone. Jack glossed over the spines of books. It was strange how many books he had written in many different languages. Maybe it was a requirement for rich people to have exotic books. What was stranger still as all the books on astronomy Jack found. As far as he knew, his bestie wasn’t interested in outer space.

Out of the corner of his eye, jack saw a glimmer of gold. On a shelf against the wall, there was a golden trophy. Jack walked over to admire it. The trophy had nothing inscribed on it, which was weird in Jack’s opinion. He tried to pick it up for a closer look but found that it was stuck to the shelf. Unfortunately, Jack was as clumsy as his son, and managed to knock the trophy forward. Still, it didn’t fall off the off.

“What did you do?” cried Harriet, as the room began to shake.

Beside the bookshelf, part of the wall started rise. The two watched in awe as a dark corridor was revealed. Only the light from the room provided any visibility of the path.

“Jack look at this! We could be onto one of the biggest stories ever! Anyone would want to know what Vlad Masters secret lair.” Harriet exclaimed pulling a flashlight from somewhere. She started walking through the doorway.

“Wait for me,” Jack called, curiosity overcoming fear, “I can’t wait to see what kind of cool stuff Vladdy has down there! Maybe… He has a surprise of his own!”

The two college friends walked down the corridor and nearly tripped down the winding staircase. Both of them were surprised to see a laboratory at the end of the stairs.

“Whoa.” Harriet whispered as her eyes caught on a table covered with a red substance mixed with a green substance, “He’s secretly a mad scientist like you Fentons!”

“Hey!” Jack frowned. Harriet ignored him and went further into the room.

The laboratory was standard for a ghost hunter. A working host portal was up against the wall across from the stairs with an ecto-filtrator keeping it stable. On the right wall was a bunch of computers and monitors. Against the left wall was a shelf full of weapons that looked strangely like his own. In the middle of the lab was the substance covered table. Jack noticed that shackles were attached to the tables. On the table was a remote that Jack was surprised that Harriet missed. Jack picked up the remote and pressed the blue triangle button.

“Are you here dearest?” a voice sounding suspiciously like his wife asked. Jack glanced around the room searching for his wife, but he couldn’t see her.

“Look at all of these weapons! Is he preparing for World War III? Just imagine ‘Masters Secretly The Leader Of Weaponry’! If only I had a camera…” Harriet was talking so quickly, Jack could barely understand her anymore. He watched her pick up a gun that looked too close to one of his own guns, the Fenton Bazooka. Was Vlad stealing his designs? They said the greatest form of flattery was imitation. Jack didn’t know what to think.

Jack walked over to the portal. He noticed that the portal’s filtrator looked a little too close to his wife’s design. How did Vlad get those blue prints? Neither he nor Maddie had even shown Vlad those designs.

“How did he get the portal to work? It was nearly impossible for us to get ours to work.” Jack murmured, brushing the edge of the portal.

“Darling experiment 1A6 is awaking up. Shall I take you to him?” Jack swirled around see his wife smiling pleasantly at him. Her jumpsuit was immaculate, unlike the one his wife usually wore. Her hair was longer and curled like it was in their college days.

“Maddie?” Jack whispered, horrified. He reached out to touch her, but his hand passed right through. Maddie didn’t seem to notice the action and continued smiling blankly. She was a hologram, and that made Jack feel worse.

Swallowing all of his questions, Jack told her, “Take me to him.”

The impersonation of Maddie beamed and began to skip to the other side of the huge lab. Jack followed, an uneasy pit forming in his gut. He was afraid to see something worse than the Maddie hologram. Harriet noticed the fake Maddie and looked at Jack confused. He beckoned her to follow with him.

“Something tells me, this is going to be life changing.” Harriet told her friend.

They weren’t disappointed.

The fake Maddie stopped in front of an empty spot beside the monitor. She put her hand against it. Where her hand was, a key board popped up.

“Enter the code Darling!” Maddie encouraged. Harriet motioned for Jack to try and enter the password.

Nervously Jack typed his best friend’s password ‘3478’. To Harriet’s shock the password worked. The key pad glowed green and the wall started to raise. Jack wanted to laugh, despite the situation. Vlad hadn’t changed his password in twenty years.

The wall moved to reveal a containment chamber. The small screen was tinted so that they couldn’t see whatever was inside. Jack noticed a release button on the side of the tank. He debated within himself to whether or not to open it. The decision was made for him when Harriet pressed the red button. Surprisingly, neither he nor ‘Maddie’ protested her action.

A green substance came out first. Jack noted that it looked very similar to ectoplasm. Shackles clattered to the ground. Then a boy fell onto the ground. Jack’s eyes widened; the boy looked like his son.

“Danny?” Jack whispered to the boy.

The boy was covered in slime. His dark hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in days. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, but he was wearing pants. Jack could see cuts and bruises covering the teenager’s body. The boy was lying face to the ground. Jack picked him up and put him on the nearest table he could find. Unfortunately, that table happened to be covered in the strange substances.

“Dad?” The boy whispered as Jack gently placed him down. The boy even sounded like Danny! Who was he and why did Vlad have him? The boy sat up and started to cough. Harriet moved from her frozen state and rubbed the boy’s back.

“Who are you? Why are you here?” Jack asked. The boy met his eyes and pointed at the remote Jack dropped on the ground. Funny, he didn’t realize he dropped the thing. Jack picked it up and gave it to the boy. The boy pointed the remote towards the monitor and pressed the purple circle. The monitors came to life.

On one monitor was a video of Danny chatting with his friends and laughing about something. Another monitor showed Danny sleeping in his bedroom. Jack shivered at the implications. The monitor that really caught his attention was the one in the center. The monitor showed Danny posing heroically as a bright ring surrounded his waist. The ring separated into two, then one went up and the other down. Danny’s jeans and T-shirt became a black hazmat suit with a logo Jack knew all too well. Danny’s eyes turned from blue to green. His dark hair became s white as snow.

“No way.” Jack almost got whiplash from looking back and forth from the monitors to the boy.

He heard Harriet gasp in shock. “Play that tape!”

Jack looked to where she was pointing. The beginning showed his son cuffed to the table with Vlad smiling evilly at him. The boy shook his head, refusing to play it. Jack swiped the remote from the weak boy’s hands. He felt guilty, but they had to know. Jack pressed the purple button again and the video started to play.

“Daniel, why do you have to be so difficult?” Vlad asked while playing with the boy’s hair. Danny glared at the billionaire, obviously very uncomfortable.

“Why do you have to be so creepy? Why can’t you just leave me and my family alone?” Danny interrogated. He tried to move away from Vlad’s touch, but found he could not. He was completely at the mad man’s mercy, and Vlad knew it.

Vlad touched Danny’s cheek. Danny squirmed in panic. The man laughed and went to grab something off screen. Danny’s eyes widened in horror as Vlad cackled. The villain had brought with him a hammer.

“Now son, as your father I hate to punish you. Answer this question properly and I won’t have to do this. Who is Jack Fenton?” Vlad asked, fiddling with the hammer.

“My dad.” Danny told him bravely.

“Wrong answer.” Vlad rose the hammer into the air and brought it down on Danny’s arm. The boy screamed in pain.

“I’ll ask you again, who is your father?”

Danny met the billionaire’s eyes. “Jack Fenton.”

Vlad rose the hammer again, aiming for Danny’s stomach.

Jack shook with fury as the video ended. If that had occurred… then Vlad was a terrible person. The video looked too real for it to be anything but real. Behind him, he heard his friend vomiting on the ground. He turned to the boy he now knew as his son.

If there was any doubt in Jack’s mind it was squashed when he looked at the boy again. He saw his son’s Florida birthmark on the boy’s right shoulder. He also saw a very big bruise on Danny’s stomach. It looked fresh, and Jack didn’t like what that meant. The question that bothered Jack the most was how long had Danny been captured for? He doubted that Danny knew.

Jack had so many questions running through his brain. He wondered how Danny could be Phantom. He thought about why Vlad wanted Danny. One glance at his son’s eyes and all those questions were forgotten. His son needed comfort, not questions.

Jack hugged his son, and Danny hugged him back. The fake Danny had tried to get out of hugging his father. It was another nail in the coffin.

“What are we going to do?” asked the now subdued Harriet. She looked so pale; Jack felt bad that she was the one to accompany him.

“I’m too weak to fight.” Danny whispered, “We don’t stand a chance in a battle.”

Jack thought for a moment. They didn’t have much time. Vlad could be home any minute. They needed to get Danny to safety and keep themselves as safe as possible. Ghosts had been strangely absent from Amity park, so Danny wasn’t need there. Then Jack knew what need to be done. He gave a pleading look to Harriet. She smiled sadly and nodded. She would keep Danny safe.

“Son, can you make us invisible?” Jack asked. He didn’t want the fake to catch them. He would likely report back to Vlad. Invisibility would be a huge asset.

“I think so.” Danny nodded, “Before we go, we need to shut down the lab. Give me the remote and tell the hologram to forget all recent data. It will make it look like I escaped on my own. Then tell her to go to sleep.”

Jack gave back the remote to his son. The boy pressed a few buttons and each monitor turned off. Harriet ran to the weapon shelf and picked up one of Vlad’s pistols. Jack frowned at the image of his wife.

“Maddie, forget about today’s data and go to sleep.” Jack ordered. He sincerely hoped Danny was right, or they would be in a lot of trouble.

“Alright Darling! Data deleted. See you in the morning!” Maddie grinned, acting like she was lovestruck.

“I hate that thing!” Danny growled, “Why can’t he just get a cat?”

Jack raised an eyebrow at his son. Wasn’t he traumatized? Then again, if the boy was Phantom, he would be used to pain. Jack didn’t like that thought. Instead he focused on picking Danny back up, putting the boy over his shoulder and grabbing Harriet’s hand. The remote he left pack on the table.

The three companions walked up the stairs in silence. The weight of who Vlad really was hung heavy on the adult’s shoulders. Jack couldn’t see his son, but he knew that Danny was probably thinking about what had happened as well. When they reached the top, Danny turned the group invisible. Together they walked into Vlad’s study.

The room felt colder now, and less interesting to Jack. He looked at the painting he was gift his best friend. It now seemed so stupid to be give Vlad something like that. His ‘best friend’ didn’t deserve it, but he couldn’t take it back. Let it be a reminder to Vlad about what he would lose.

“Don’t forget about the trophy.” Danny informed him, “Stand it up again.”

Jack moved it back into place. As soon as he did so, the room shuddered once again. The wall that revealed the corridor went back into place. Then Danny pointed to Vlad’s desk.

“What’s with the balloons and picture?” He asked.

“Today is Vlad’s birthday. I wanted to surprise him, but got a surprise instead,” Jack’s voice wavered, “I’m sorry Danny.”

Danny patted Jack on the back, “You didn’t know.”

Jack didn’t try to refute Danny, though he really wanted to. Instead he grabbed the balloons then left the room. Harriet raced to try and keep up with the surprisingly fast man. They walked in silence once more. They held their breath as a green vulture in a fez floated by. Jack wanted to ask Danny about it, but that could wait for another time.

They continued to quickly walk down the hallway. They didn’t see any more ghosts on their way. Once they reached the front door, Jack pushed the door opened.

“Where are we going?” Danny asked quietly, breaking the silence.

“You and Harriet are leaving; I’m going back inside.” Jack replied as they reached Harriet’s blue car. This was going to be hard for Jack, but his son’s safety mattered first and foremost. Still, he was going to miss his son.

Danny didn’t protest. Perhaps he saw the futility of speaking against the idea. Maybe he was just too weak to argue. Harriet unlocked her car and opened the back-passenger door. Jack placed his son inside, and buckled Danny’s seat belt in. He was about to shut the car door when Danny grabbed his arm.

“How long?” Danny whispered. Jack’s heart almost broke at the question.

“I don’t know,” Jack sighed, “Until I can fix this without causing too much damage.”

“I love you Dad.” Danny sadly smiled.

“I love you too Danny” Jack frowned as he shut the car door. Harriet patted him on the shoulder. Then hopped into the front seat. She handed Jack a cigarette.

“I’ll take good care of him.” Harriet tried to reassure Jack, “I live in New York, It’ll be hard for Vlad to find him. We will be safe.”

Jack took the cigarette, “I don’t smoke anymore.”

Harriet nodded her head in understanding. Then she started up her car. Jack watched as she drove away, taking his only son with her. He prayed that they would be safe. Somehow, he knew that they would be.

Jack walked back to the front porch of the mansion. Pulling out a lighter he always carried with him, Jack lit up the cigarette. It was a bad habit he had started ever since he accidentally put Vlad into hospital. He knew that the habit wasn’t going away anytime soon.

He smoked as he watched the sun go down. Maddie was going to kill him because he had been gone so long. Jack couldn’t face the fake right now, not after everything he had seen. After the fourth cigarette, he watched a black limo drive up. He nearly glared when he saw Vlad step out. His ‘friend’ saw Jack and instantly tensed up. How did Jack never notice that before? Vlad walked up the steps.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Vlad plastered on a fake smile, “Does Maddie know?”

Jack laughed awkwardly while putting out the tobacco, “Just a bad habit. Let me get the door for you.”

Jack held the door open for Vlad, then followed the villain inside. Jack lured him to the ballroom where he was surprised by a birthday party. Vlad feigned enjoyment, but Jack could see through it. It was funny how a search for balloons could unravel everything Jack knew about Vlad, his son and himself.

Jacked walked over to the punch table. He felt a tap on his shoulder, He turned to see his wife glaring at him.

“Where were you?” She hissed, her foot tapping angrily.

If only he could tell. He had to play his cards correctly or Vlad would find Danny. He couldn’t allow that to happen ever again.

“Harriet got sick; I was helping her out.” Jack hated lying to his wife.

“Hope she gets better.” Maddie looked a lot more relaxed. She smiled, “Look Danny and Vlad are getting along.”

Jack watched as the clone interacted with Vlad. The two did seem to be acting like close friends. If Jack had seen this yesterday, he would have smiled. Instead he hid his displeasure.

“I guess life is full of surprises.” Maddie grinned at her husband.

#phic phight #phic phight 19 #Danny Phantom #Vlad Masters #jack fenton #Harriet Chin #danny fenton #team human

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