#and i kinda do wanna tag it for my blog organization sake.....

[ap-sadistics]

under the cut is what i nicknamed my ninjago oni arc retrospective. which is an obscene amount of rambling, ALMOST ENTIRELY CRITICISM ABOUT NINJAGOS WRITING, spurred on by the said trilogy. i had so many thoughts about the oni arc i literally could not tweet it. its literally so much. and by so much i mean about 5000 words of complaining, yelling, a lot of thoughts. coming from a place of genuine care for the characters that are in this godforsaken show. this is the first time im talking about ninjago on tumblr. and considering how twitter is going down im might just like. start liveblogging the rest of ninjago on tumblr lol...... its been years since ive liveblogged on tumblr, man. i wont be fucklong posts like this tho probably

anyways when i say 5k words. i am not exaggerating. this is That Long. youve been warned. i never shut the fuck up. yeehaw lets go

⬇️

garmadon. this is all about garmadon. i realized something while watching s10. like clearly ive been discontent with his narrative or more accurately the way the narrative has been using him (note the word using. its a talking point that i will return to later.). but what ive realized is interesting. garmadon in s10 is actually the garmadon i wish i got in s1/s2. but im discontent with this garmadon anyways why? 

its because. it was given to me. in such a. dissatisfying. way.. and its dissatisfying because..... the best opportunity to make him like this has been squandered in the first place. and theres not enough justification/proper justification to make garmadon the way he was in s10. THE FUCKING...... SEQUENCING OF HIS CHARACTER ARC... CAN IT REALLY BE CALLED A CHARACTER ARC WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE SERIES OVERALL....... 

its like... garmadon is a different character every season. in the pilots he was introduced as a sincerely menacing and evil threat and the only reason hes not is because he was trapped in the underworld or whatever but even then he was a threat threatening to be unleashed. someone dangerous. but then when you see him again in s1 hes like..... not.. that. the second impression of him that you get is that oh. hes not that evil actually. hes not so evil that he still loves his son. guess hes not that bad. and its like. okay so my personal opinion is that 1) a truly evil dad wouldnt even give a shit about his son and 2) okay so a villain being a caring parent CAN be an interesting and nuanced concept with depth (thinks about that one prozd vine) BUT the writers didnt actually make it that way and in fact they did it in a way that undermines the effectiveness of garmadons characters. the way they did it... just makes it feel..... inconsistent. 

and on top of that, the writers loved making incompetent villains for comedic purposes and so like. they also decided to make garmadon that incompetent type in s1+2. THE VIBES GARMADON HAS IN THE PILOTS VS THE FIRST SEASONS ARE SO DIFFERENT..... and so... on seeing the type of character garmadon is in s9/s10... this guy who lost his love for his son... it just reminds me of the kind of guy i wish i gotten in s1 and 2. in s10 garmadon is an ally but its like. weird. because they turned him into a character whos entirely rational and practical because hes apathetic towards everyone. and thats not what s1/2 used to be. s1 garmadon was a fucking cartoony asshole lol..... so like... even if garmadon was stripped of all this goodness i cant see him being the guy he was in s10? like personality changes/amnesia doesnt work like that i feel. theres that. and then there the transition from s9->s10. s9 garmadon is like. oddly blank. suggestible. hes cold and cruel. hes a tower. hes menacing. i get how a freshly resurrected garmadon whos entirely evil maybe could result in this a little bit. but i cant see how garmadon in s9 suddenly changed to be the guy in s10. he straight up became a different villain. he became calculative and cunning. competent. also like. rational. like he understands that theres greater priorities to protect ninjago from a greater force. LIKE. DID S9 GARMADON EVEN HAVE A HIGHER LEVEL OF THOUGHT THAN "hm....... son....... brother........ take over ninjago....... true potential.... power..... destroy..... be evil........" LIKE. HES PRETTY GODDAMN SIMPLE AINT HE. IN S9. AND THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO TRANSITION TO MAKE HIM LIKE THE WAY HE IS IN S10 OTHER THAN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT. AND THAT WOULDNT PRODUCE A CHANGE IN CHARACTER LIKE THAT. GARMADONS CHARACTER IS ALL OVER THE PLACE OVER THE COURSE OF NINJAGO and this doesnt even address sensei garmadon. miss that dilf. anyways. 

they brought garmadon back but its in such a way thats not compelling at all...... because they decide to forget about past established relationship dynamics. (ninjago can and will throw out past established narrative arcs bc they are inconvenient to them. because to the writers, past seasons have very little value in moving the present plot forward because they are completed. BECAUSE THE WRITERS ARENT CLEVER ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT WAY TO HAVE CONSISTENCY AND CONTINUITY IN THEIR NARRATIVE AND ALSO INVENT NEW PLOT.) 

like entirely its like lloyd past relationship dynamic with his dad never happened bc lloyd never feels in a way that would make sense for a guy who had a positive and yet EXTREMELY COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP with his father. like come on s4 finale???? the last time lloyd talked to his dad (when he fucking sacrificed himself LIKE HE GOT YEETED THROUGH A PORTAL AND “DIED”)...... they dont bring any of that back. none of the anticipated feelings. theres no emotional logic to the way lloyd feels about his dad coming back. either that or they dont show it nearly enough. like clearly lloyd eventually feels some sorta way about his dad being pure evil and an amnesiac. but I WANT EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE MAN. THEY DONT EVER SHOW IT IN A WAY THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE..... LIKE. SHOULDNT LLOYD WANT.... TO FIX HIS DAD? WHY DOESNT HE TRY. WHY DOESNT HE MISS THE GOOD FATHER-SON MENTOR-MENTEE RELATIONSHIP HE LAST HAD WITH HIS DAD? ALSO MAYBE A LITTLE BIT OF GUILT???? BC HE HAD HELPED SACRIFICE HIS DAD AND HE DAD WAS CANONICALLY DEAD? OR MISPLACED SELFBLAME FOR FAILING TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING TO BOTH HIS DAD AND FREAKING NINJAGO. FOR ANGST REASONS. IDK MAYBE THAT BIT IS A BIT CONTRIVED BUT IT WAS AN OPPORTUNITY THAT WAS THERE. I WANTED TO SEE LLOYD ACTUALLY TRY TO LIKE..... REACH OUT TO THE OLD GARMADON IN THIS HUSK OF HIS OLD MAN. I WANTED TO SEE AN ATTEMPT, A FRUITLESS ATTEMPT OF LLOYD TRYING TO GET HIS FATHER BACK. AND THEN DEVASTATION WHEN HE REALIZES HE FUCKING CANT!!!!!!!! THEY COULDVE MADE THIS SO MUCH MORE EMOTIONALLY COMPELLING. BY MAKING LLOYD THE ONE WHO NARRATIVELY CONNECTS THE OLD AND NEW GARMADON. LLOYD COULDVE BEEN A POINT OF COMPARISON TO GREATER EMPHASIZE HOW THE REVIVED GARMADON IS A DIFFERENT MAN. ill stop yelling now.

sighs. s9/10 is like...... considerably less compelling than s8 for this issue..... like not only are they bringing back lloyd+dad drama but also they dont put the right emotions in place for it to Be compelling. its missing so much for it to be... emotionally engaging..... it doesnt help that lloyd isnt my blorbo like they lose me so fucking hard after s8. s8 smacked. s8 smacked so hard and the follow up is disappointing. i was invested in lloyds character arc for once. harumis effect. im biased but im also right. 

anyways this whole thing has been about garmadon but....... also i gotta say. its not a garmadon exclusive problem. this is def a clear symptom of a larger problem of ninjago. how ninjago approaches characters. which is that there is no show/character bible. not a single character has a character bible for the writers to follow. at most they have a single line. a single consistent characteristic. oh god are ninjas inconsistent.

you see its because the writers use characters as they see fit. theres so many times when they definitely decided on traits the characters should have that would be most convenient them to have in the moment. they see characters as tools to drive the plot forward, rather than having characters drive the narratives on their own. and thats BAD. because this way, characters dont have rules in how they behave. they dont have patterns. resulting in conflicting moments! have you ever heard of the phrase "characters write themselves?" well that happens when you have a solidly rounded character. you dont make the characters do what you want them to do. you write characters how you THINK they would behave. you write the situation. and they react accordingly to their characterization. its like a roleplay almost 

anyways ninjago doesnt do that. ninjago is not character driven. so you end up with so much character inconsistency. 

well im not saying the ninjas are like entirely inconsistent. theres is a general pattern they return to. the few basic traits the writers remember they have

like here. heres what *I* think are the only things that the **WRITERS**  have truly set in stone for all the characters. this is not my personal observations and understanding of the characters but the way i think the writers see each character. im a guy who thinks characters are deeper than they are for the record. 

jay: talks a lot/the jokester->annoying 

nya: competent girl. 

kai: arrogant/hot head (the latter is however inconsistent)

lloyd: leader (-_-💢)

zane: robot with that very specific speech style that indicates hes very smart and/or not human (robot.)

cole: CAKE. 

and its evident that these characters are unequally fleshed out compared to one another. and im sorry this might be my bias goggles i have on which makes me automatically analyze the character im most invested in the sort out what their characteristics are but i think jay is arguable one of the most consistent characters. WELL. AT LEAST UP UNTIL I HAVE WATCHED. ive heard things about the studio change.... nya is also def arguably the most consistent. kai is a blorbo too but i know hes one of the less consistent ones and i have proof for this. lemme share a post by a showrunner. makes me so fucking mad. 

FLUCTUATES?!?!? SURE PPL BEHAVIORS DEPEND ON THE SITUATION BUT LIKE COME ON. THERES SOME CONSISTENCY BENEATH IT SOMEWHERE ALWAYS. okay here. people arent Always consistent. but like. these are characters you know. there should be a reasoning why they behave differently from one situation to another you know? this answer is way too flippant of an answer, it infuriates me. LIKE. UGH IF THIS KINDA OF FLEXIBILITY WAS WRITTEN WITH INTENT AND PURPOSE THEN ITS GREAT!!! IT MEANS KAI IS A COMPLEX CHARACTER!!!! BUT YOU KNOW!!!!! IT ISNT LIKE THAT. KAI IS A FLEXIBLE CHARACTER BECAUSE THAT IS CONVENIENT FOR THE WRITERS BECAUSE IT MEANS THEYLL WRITE HIM IN ANY MEANS THE SITUATION CALLS FOR. THEY NEED HIM TO BE VOICE OF REASON THEYLL MAKE HIM THE VOICE OF REASON. THEY NEED HIM TO BE THE PARANOID GUY THEYLL MAKE HIM THE PARANOID GUY. THEY NEED HIM TO BE AN IDIOT THEYLL MAKE HIM AN IDIOT. they do the latter a lot and i really do enjoy it to be honest its like an incredible charm point to me how fucking stupid he is, i aDore him. ANYWAYS MY POINT IS KAI DOESNT HAVE CONSISTENCY...... if i rewatch ninjago i could fucking cite them better i like Remember the examples that have happened but not accurately when they happened. but i know im right about this.

also with the power of fan interpretation i can take his actions that he has done and rework them in a way that makes an actually cohesively rounded character. WORKING WITH WHAT I GOT. PUTTING THOUGHT INTO HIM MORE THAN THE WRITERS EVER HAVE. AND ILL DO THIS WITH ALL OF THEM. OR AT LEAST THE ONES I CARE ABOUT.

kai is rational and sometimes hes so fucking stupid and sometimes hes like both so like he burns rubber while staying in one place. that part of my interpretation of him thats important to me. s7 kai you think so damn much and yet you make absolutely no fucking progress in your thoughts its so fucking funny and iconic i LOVE YOU YOU FUCKING DUMBASS. i love your fucking arrogance and ego and how thats youre downfall most of the time i love this as youre character flaw. its good. and yet you can be sensible sometimes which makes me think there could be a leader in you if it wasnt for your massive shortcomings. and also i love when you go older brother mode....... if anyone in the team is an elder sibling its definitely kai. literally and also in terms of vibes. its comes with being an older brother. 

anyways i dunno how that spiel happened kais isnt even my most favorite character, jay is. but he is second fav tho and also one of the guys who has a lot of inconsistencies. its late when im writing this section its truly a RAMBLE here

oh speaking of jay heres another evidence of ninjago writing for convenience and honestly its real character writing sin. the fact that they completely removed an entire character trait from him.  they wrote out how hes an inventor. its literally confirmed by the showrunner THAT IT WAS A DECISION THAT THEY MADE. TO GET RID OF AN ENTIRE ESTABLISHED CHARACTER TRAIT. YOU CANT JUST DO THAT. THATS LITERALLY BAD WRITING. YOU CANT JUST DO THAT ITS BAD WRITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT SHOWS A BLATANT DISREGARD FOR HIS CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS NOT LIKE HE WAS BEING DEVELOPED PRE SHOW AND BEING WORKED OUT. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE WAS A MECHANIC FOR LITERALLY SEASONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND JUST BECAUSE THERES WERE “TOO MANY TECH PEOPLE” THEY WERE LIKE OH THATS TOO MANY WE DONT NEED THAT MANY WE GOTTA GET RID OR SOME WE HAVE TOO MANY! WHAT KIND OF?!?!?!? WHAT KIND OF FUCKING REASON IS THAT!??!?!????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE SCIFI GENRES GONNA DO THEN. GOD. YOU CANT JUST DELETE TRAITS. ITS LITERALLY CARELESS WRITING. I HATE IT. AND ALSO TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. 

theres a lot of things i could probably reference as evidence of how incredibly irresponsibly ninjago writes characters. they do it a lot. as a guy who love characters, this is hell. and yet i am still here. invested. because putting work into characters is a different kind of joy i guess. LOVE ANALYZING AND INTERPRETING CHARACTERS WHO ARENT THAT DEEP BUT THEY COULD BE. THEY COULD BE. man.

this was mostly a talk about garmadon and character writing huh. oni arc spurred all theses thoughts but it wasnt all necessarily about that hbdgsdk. hm.... i do have more thoughts though..... ive stated before s8 slapped and both s9 and 10 are weaker right? increasingly so like 10 is much weaker than 9. they drop the ball. its one part because of everything i stated above regarding garmadon and characters. its another part because s8 wasnt about dad drama for the fourth time. sure garmadon was part of the plot indirectly. but the conflict wasnt Between them. the plot in s8 was honestly partly a mystery due to the investigative nature for a part of it. and the whole not knowing who the leader was thing. the conflict was against the sons of garmadon. and then when the reveal happened it was between harumi and lloyd built on the lies harumi made. the conflict lloyd had was one that was a personal betrayal. lloyd had to confront that harumi wasnt the girl he liked. that everything he knew and experienced with harumi was a part of a facade. i love this conflict lloyd has because it turned internal AND IT WASNT ABOUT HIS DAD. S8 WAS REFRESHING FOR THIS REASON. LLOYDS CONFLICT DIDNT ENTIRELY HINGE ON HIS DAD OR BEING THE CHOSEN ONE. CONFLICT THAT WAS NEW INTERPERSONAL DRAMA WOW!!!! I LOVE IT. well of course its more complicated than that his dad is definitely a factor in that he is harumis motive.... but heres a thing.... garmadon wasnt involved to make this happen. hes dead. he didnt spur harumi to become a fucked up little girl herself. its all on her. her problem turned into lloyds problem. harumi being cause of conflict is a different kind of conflict that lloyd hasnt experienced before you know? well i guess its sorta similar to morros deal in the sense that lloyds identity made him a target for pain BUT WHATS DIFFERENT IS THAT HE LIKE HAS AGENCY THIS TIME. AM I MAKING SENSE? DO YOU GET ME? DESPITE GARMADON IS A PASSIVE PART OF THE CONFLICT ITS NOT ABOUT HIM. ITS DIFFERENT FROM S9 AND S10 YOU KNOW? 

i feel like the last paragraph was really circuitous. like i think i made it 4 times longer than it needed to be. anyways thats that. but also i think s9 and 10 is weaker than s8 is because.... the villains are boring. the sons of garmadon was a fun antagonistic force. it was basically a motorcycle gang and cult. it was a pretty colorful gang! i love ultra violet especially!!! shes fucking unhinged. harumi is fucking nuts too. these villain had a fun thing going for them. now...... i get really weird... vibes from the dragon hunters..... like its kinda 😬 the way another worlds culture is presented? because the villains of this season is like..... basically an entire population of people. its not a minor group of humans. its basically all the humanoid residents of the realm. and theyre presented as vicious savages. am i alone in thinking this is bit kinda.... hm.... like eventually the show redeems itself and the group by having faith be the one wiser to what is going on (to show that Not Everyone Is Like This) and also eventually making the hunters realize they were living under a fascist regime (its highkey fascism right??). am i taking this too seriously for getting vague xenophobic vibes from this. im not saying that another worlds people all have to be pleasant and nice thats kinda unrealistic and also i do think that the first realm group needed to have an antagonistic force to light a fire under their ass. with the seasons theme i do think both groups of ninjas being “hunted” is fun concept and offers opportunity for parallels between them? its just. the presentation of the hostile group. leaves much to be desired. IVE SAID IT BEFORE A FEW WEEKS AGO AND I AM RIGHT ABOUT THAT ACTUALLY. THE DRAGON HUNTERS SHOULDVE BEEN COWBOY BOUNTY HUNTERS....... MAN. A WESTERN THEME COULDVE REALLY WORKED IN DUSTY ASS SETTING OF THE FIRST REALM. THE HARSHNESS OF THE DESOLATE LANDSCAPE. like instead of the villains being presented as savages i think it wouldve been better if they were more lawless and cutthroat. but like a different vibe of it. the western vibes. in my vision of it the reason why the boy would be hunted is because they did something stupid to get a hit on them lol. either that or a series misfortunate events and misunderstandings. tbh finding a way to make the conflict involve the golden dragon armor is hard so i havent thought about it. it doesnt help that it super doesnt fit into the setting/theme. highkey would be easier and like...... makes wus whole thing about something else. but idk what. fixing ninjago is hard work.

anyways desperado faith would be so sexy. cowboy versions of the dragon hunters would fucking smack. theres that

now the oni tho......... i sincerely think. the oni are the MOST BORING VILLAINOUS FACTION NINJAGO HAS EVER HAD. THEY ARE SO BORING THEYRE SO BORING!! NOT THAT MOST OF THE NINJAGO VILLAINS HAVE EVER BEEN VERY COMPLEX BUT GOD. THEY ARE. THE MOST SIMPLEST FORCE OF EVIL. EVER. THATS LITERALLY ALL THAT THEY ARE! THEYRE JUST LITERALLY A REPRESENTATION OF THE DARK EVIL~EVIL~ THATLL BRING ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD. AND THATS IT. THATS IT! WHY DO THEY WANT TO EVEN. THEY ARE JUST DOING IT BC THEY WANNA. NO DEEPER EXPLANATION FOR WHAT THEY ARE AND WHAT THEY DO. WHERE THE HELL WERE THEY BEFORE THEY SUDDENLY APPEARED. WHY DID THEY DISAPPEAR FROM THE FIRST REALM AND WHY WERE THEY ABLE TO COME BACK WHEN THEY DID THROUGH THE CRYSTAL?  theres almost no point in them being sentient even. they could literally be just monstrous beasts and That would be more interesting that what they are. bc at least if they are just monsters then their behaviors can be just easily handwaved. bc they would be animals. NOT SO FOR THE ONI AS ARE THO. NOT WHEN YOU HAVE?? MYSTAKE???? WHO IS AN ONI AND IS A CLEAR EXAMPLE THAT ONIS ARE A COMPLEX BEING. ninjago has Always been very reductive for their villains in that the ninja are Good and villains are Evil but GOD. THIS IS THE MOST REDUCTIVE THEYVE EVER BEEN. NO DEPTH! ABSOLUTELY NONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INFURIATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even the skeleton in the pilots had more depth bc they had character traits at least. the trait was that they were stupid BUT IT WAS SOMETHING AT LEAST. also theyre allowed to be simple for comedy reasons. s10 was all serious plot. they dont have that excuse. they are so mind numbing dull i hate the fucking oni. i know ninjago has always seen good and evil as things that can be clearly cut which has always been like. *sighs*. BUT THIS TIME IT REALLY MAKES ME. WANNA. *CHOKES NINJAGO SHOW WRITERS* DO MORE THINKING, FUCKOS.

this is largely my skybound bias talking but the sky pirates was one of the most interesting villains to me. like nadakhan is a good villain. he sucks but also hes like. developed. hes also very threatening. hes an effectively written villain in regards to his villainy. he has all the motives and the personality and like the *gestures* the way he acts. im lacking the words for it. i bet if skybound wasnt written so abjectly misogynistic i would probably call him the best ninjago villain. unfortunately i have to take points off of him for that. i think undeliberate sexism is cheating for villains. the sexism in skybound is definitely 90% because its baked into the writers biases rather than the writers going “hey you know whats really evil? misogyny.” no they def didnt think that. also more than nadakhan i do think flintlocke is the more interesting guy tho. AT LEAST HE IS IN MY HEAD. WHERE ALL THE SKYBOUND THOUGHTS ARE BOUNCING AROUND. 

beyond skybound i think pythor is ABSOLUTELY impeccable as a villain. I LOVE THAT GUY. HES GREAT. AND OF COURSE HARUMI. now i think truly harumi deserves the crown for this. morro is. wait. hang on i think im thinking about the potential morro had as a character rather than the character morro actually is. morro is woefully underdeveloped in reality but! HES STILL SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING THAN THE FUCKING ONI!!!!!! tho gotta be honest. i remember jack shit about the s2 villains. they were extremely unimpressionable. i still do think the oni are the most boring tho. also. what the fuck is that one dudes deal. the... overlord? *checks the wiki* (SPOILERS) WHAT THE FUCK HE COMES BACK IN CRYSTALIZED? also i entirely forgot he was in s3. all my homies hate s3 you cannot fault me for this. bitch got put into a box. he means nothing to me but the oni are still less interesting. nothing can change my mind about this. ALSO THE ONI NEVER EVEN SHAPESHIFTED. THAT MAKES ME SO MAD. AN ABILITY ALL THE ONIS HAVE BUT LICHERALLY ONLY MYSTAKE DOES IT. NINJAGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

is there anything else i want to complain about. probably but also i think that about covers it. s8>s9>>>>>s10. however s10>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>s3 still. like dont get me wrong. despite all my bashing s3 is still that bad. its just that as i wrote this i actually started feeling stronger about the way i did for the oni arc dfskhflsdhgiuth. its just like. its undeniable that the quality of the trilogy goes down each season no...? it started out So strong..... but it just gets weaker. its more apparent bc s8 was just that good. bring that quality baaaaaaack

WAIT. NO I DO STILL HAVE ANOTHER THING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT. I HATE THE WAY NINJAGO TREATS DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like along with characters the writers absolutely use death as a tool. they use is as either plot convenience or for cheap drama. like remember dr julian? they fucking killed him BETWEEN SEASONS BC THEY FELT LIKE DIDNT NEED HIM ANYMORE. JUST LIKE THAT! and i bet thats why they killed mystake off screen too. they looooove making shit happen off screen. i cant believe thats how they decided to write off mystake. the writers dont treat death with any respect. its such a disservice to mystakes character to just get rid of her character like that. like she did a lot. and i feel like. she couldve easily not died if the writers wanted her to. like. she was a fucking oni. they couldve writing her escaping. or at least shown us a nobler death rather than the implied shit that they did. god i was so confused whether or not they killed mystake in that first scene “confirmation” scene with skylor BECAUSE IT WAS SO VAGUE. bc honestly it could be easily interpreted that she was just subdued or captured. but no, turns out shes dead :/ damn ://// hate fucking writing like this

theres that. then theres the fake out deaths. that they did twice in s10. and like. it was so clearly a fake out............ bc you know ninjago is a that wont kill their main characters for good. they simply cant! but they try this shit anyways bc maybe theyll upset some naive kid thatll believe it!! that want their audience to FEEL THINGS so they gonna make it SEEM like they killed cole/lloyd. but the attempt is transparent as fuck. sure didnt get me thats for sure. you see death is indeed a thing that happens in ninjago. but its been shown multiple times that it doesnt stick. thats its either fake or the character will simply be brought back with a handwave (if they are important enough). exhibit: garmadon himself, zane, nya, cole (the fucking ghost thing like. hes a ghost but clearly hes not a true ghost. im not going deeper into this like the ghost thing IS A WHOLE NOTHER THING AND THIS RAMBLE IS OVER 4K WORDS LONG). ninjago is a show that has stripped death of all its meaningfulness. theres that one scene where they killed mr e onscreen too and literally they only did because mr e is a robot so they could get extra violent with him in order to show off this current garmadons brutality ://////. also its so fucking wack that they for reals sent lloyd to fucking ninjago heaven for a hot second. like lloyd was def going to survive that and they made him die for drama but its still wild to me you know? anyways death has no emotional impact value in this show. makes me wish that they just wont use it. not unless if its a death that actually matters and is a genuine threat that can happen to the characters that matter. man.

oh another thing i just remembered. you know how garmadon was on their ship in s10. i wish the writers had remember that literally happened before. or maybe they did but like the way the ninjas talk about it its like never happened and im like. aw man i wish we had a funny call back to that. too bad this show forgets to have continuity sometimes. 

and SPEAKING OF WHICH, okay one last thing that been on my mind for fucking weeks, THE MURAL IN S10 SHOWING EVERY CONFLICT INCLUDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SKYBOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BIG FUCKING GLARING CONTIUITY ERROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS SHOW HAS PLENTY OF THOSE BUT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE MOST FLAGRANT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JAY AND NYA DIDNT PAINT THAT. AND THOSE TWO ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY ONES WHO KNOW ABOUT NADAKHAN. NADAKHAN WAS NEVER RELEASED FROM THE TEAPOT SO NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT HIM!!!!! EVENTS OF SKYBOUND DIDNT FUCKING HAPPEN IN THIS TIMELINE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. anyways in GOES into the fanfic wishlist, a scene in which they didnt! paint skybound on that fucking wall and jay has some fucking Thoughts! and a !feeling! or two about that~!!!!!!! FIX IT FIC EXCEPT ITS FIXING A PLOTHOLE AND IS NOT THE TRADITIONAL FIXIT FIC IN WHICH EVENTS A WRITTEN TO BE BETTER :) but rather its a character study about jay. with optional trauma. maybe emotional turmoil may be not, the way the fic would depend entirely if theres a plot or not. at minimum jay needs to Feel A Way about it...... how nobody remembers the worst days of his life..... you know? i may brainstorm about this fanfic. i really want it. i may never get it. but i want it so bad. if anything should be written it should be this scene..................... SIGHS........

okay i think im finally out of thoughts for this oni arc retrospective that def extends beyond the oni arc. this ramble hit over 4.8k words by the point of this sentence. this took me literally over a month to write bc im busy with school work sdkjfhieurtghkdhflk. WHICH IM FUCKING MYSELF OVER WITH RIGHT NOW BC INSTEAD OF WORKING I DID THIS. but like. i need to accomplish something. even if the thing is entirely useless I NEED IT OUT OF MYSELF AND OFF! MY! PLATE!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!! HUZZAH TO AIRING OUT ALL MY GRIEVANCES WOO!!!!!! a total of two ppl will read this. and thats great. literally if theres more than two pp who make it to the end of this ill be fucking shocked because this is lterally almost 5000 words of complaining. lightly put it. criticism. anyways i have so much to say about ninjago, its fucking obscene. i feel like i wrote an essay even though it is very much not that, but the feeling make me feel like i need to write a conclusion for this all. conclusion? wish ninjago was a more tightly written show. and final final note? please fucking excuse any typing errors that have been made theres a very high chance i forgot words or wrote the wrong words and i am incapable of catching all of them i certain of this. i tried to read thru but this is like 5k now man. typing more increases the wordcount isnt that fucking crazy. anyways, thank you understanding,

and youre so epic for reading this beast of a review. i am very right and i will not hear otherwise thanks ;p

#the first paragraph use to be literally just over 1000 words long but i broke it up for dan #tho tbh. shit might have to be broken up more..... lol................ #but i cant look at this anymore. ive been at it for too long. i need it OUT #maybe ill read for typos like a few days later #jem's miscellany #itll be really funny if i put this into the tag #and i kinda do wanna tag it for my blog organization sake..... #ill compromise with this #ninjago talk #idk if ill make a different tag later but for now. augh. hitting post. if theres errors then theres errors. #anyways im insane

[galwaygremlin]

so like i actually do have an organization system on here if anyone wants to Know What It Is and/or find things in my tags

#happy tag- things that made me happy! there’s 200 posts here, i have retired it for the sake of my sanity but it’s Very Good Content

#goofy tag- like happy tag but SILLY TIMES

#tips and #resources- these have a lot of overlap. lots of good adulting things and self-help kinda stuff. #resources has a lot of links to useful sites, whereas #tips is more for text posts

#personal reminders- these are things i... tend to forget, and need to remember. i go back through this tag sometimes when i feel lost or i don’t know what to do.

#apecon- this stands for AP Economics, which is a class i’m taking rn, but it’s not exactly study materials XD. it’s social justice and political arguments that i can and will quote in class. they’re also just. good food for thought

#actuallyautistic- hi, one whole autistic person at your service. these are posts that talk about it

#book recs- this has music and film recommendations as well, but it’s mostly queer-focused literature. YA, history, what-have-you.

#helping hands and #community support- i forget to use these half the time but they’re posts with links/resources to help people who need it. again, my blog for reblogging donation posts specifically is @i-wanna-help

#xd or #XD- things that made me go XD. i will stand by my use of that emoticon always

#kind of a funny story- the tag i use for #goofy tag and #happy tag stuff so i didn’t flood those tags

#autistic headcanons- i do autistic headcanon posts! most of the stuff in here is mine, but i’ll reblog others i see and tag them here

#quote of the day and #preeetttttyyy- quotes i like! don’t ask me why i put so many letters in the second tag, i don’t know. that one also has just. pretty things

#how to use the internet, #career help, and #how to people- pretty self-explanatory. useful tips

#diy food and #diy clothing- tips and resources for how to make food and find clothes when i move out

#tag games- things i’ve been tagged in! feel free to go through there and find one if you need something to do

#lifesaving tips- first aid

#anxiety tips and #self care check- mental health help if you’re having a rough go or if you want a reassurance

That’s the filing system on this blog! Have a nice day y’all.

#galwaygremlin #galwaygremlin does an organize #i'll link this post in my pinned post

[aeliem]

My AUs and shit

Since I can’t find neither the time or motivation to draw characters from my AUs, I will describe them right now so I don’t forget. Of course I will draw references and post more detailed descriptions of what is gonna happen in those AUs but not right now because I’m tired as fuck.

When I started this blog, I wanted to make some Undertale content and it’s still what I wanna do but in the end I did one thing Undertale related and that’s not really how I whant things to go. In this post, I will describes my AUs and the timeline/stories that I’ve made with already existing AUs. If you don’t get what I’m saying don’t worry it doesn’t really matter bc I’m probably gonna make something more detailed later. Also if I speak in broken english it’s normal because I’m french and I started writing this at 1 in the morning or somethin. Also the stories aren’t in a specific order at least for most of them I just write them as I remember them. There’s some plot twist that I don’t really wanna talk about here so it’s why some things will be resumed or voluntarely ovelooked. Also, the stuff in brackets is the tag that I use for stuff about timelines with super long names (like for example you write fnaf not Five Nights At Freddy’s). More under the cut because oh boy it’s gonna be long.

Killertale After The Fall (KtATF) Linked to the multiverse Killertale (by @rahafwabas) Timeline This timeline covers what happens in between the moment when Chara leave Sans and Nightmare comes to recruit him. This will be one of my first comics since it is simple (or at least I hope it will be) and it will also train myself to draw the Undertale characters. Don’t expect anything rendered correctly in this one. It will also help me seeing how much time I take to draw pages of a comic.

Killertale For Creator’s Sake (KtFCS) Linked to the multiverse Killertale (by @rahafwabas ) Timeline This timeline is pretty much the same than the one up but it ends up differently and leads to more multiverse shit.

Watchertale Happening in the multiverse Group of characters This is a groupe of 4 characters in charge of protecting the multiverse. They’re named after shapes that are related to their powers. Circ (Circle), Sans, he/him, has a heavy sense of duty and is frienemies with Arr (friends until she screws up really badly or do some stupid pranks that end up in catastrophy), is at least as arrogant as Crow exept that he’s stonger than him thanks to his Sans powers. Arr (Arrow), Undyne, genderfluid (currently she/her), doesn’t take anything seriously and never gets angry about anything, likes to tease Circ even though sometimes he takes it too seriously, doesn’t really take the time to fix her mistakes because it doesn’t matter anyway. Crow (Crown), Asgore, he/him, arrogant and eager for knowlege, takes his position very seriously, thinks he’s better than the others because he’s the king of monsters, calls everyone by their shape instead of their names (but still insist that people call him Crow), too curious for his own good, hates Circ because he’s always saying that he’s better than him because he’s a Sans. Flow (Flower), Papyrus, they/them, are calm and often seem emotionless, realise that their job is inportant to the multiverse and the consequences that an interferance might have, do what their boss tells them to do without asking questions (most of the time).

Sentrytale Linked to the multiverse Undertale Timeline that happens to know the multiverse exists Because of Flow (see above), this timeline is aware that the multiverse exist and that it is highly dangerous because people like Nightmare can just come in a timeline and kill everyone so they are protecting the universe with the help of the group from Watchertale. They are managing the MultiNet and made it better for asking questions and detecting potentially dangerous Sanses. They also raised awareness in a lot of other timelines thanks to a show hosted by Mettaton presenting several Alternative Universes to other AUs through the MultiNet. Toriel is still in the Ruins and has no clue what is happening Frisk doesn’t exist Flowey works with Alphys and everyone knows he’s Asriel Sans also works with Alphys and everyone knows that he used to be Alphys’ lab assistant Undyne is the captain of the Royal Guard Papyrus is the sub-captain of the Royal Guard and is less innocent than classic Papyrus Alphys is moderating the MultiNet and categorizes AUs and timelines Mettaton is hosting a show presenting different AUs and timelines and got even more popular, also no one can control what he’s showing Asgore is still the king and organizes expeditions to other timelines when they detect a problem in one.

Dusttale Redemption (DtR) Linked to the multiverse Dusttale (by @ask-dusttale) Timeline I’ve always been a fan of Dusttale so it was only a matter of time before I made my own story. I want to make a comic with this story but I don’t know when I’ll start it so I will just do it when I want (I still want it to be one of the first comics I draw because I tend to lose interest in doing stuff if it’s alrady fleshed out). This timeline was originally supposed to be about Dust finding some sort of redemption (hence the title) but it’s more how Sans came to the idea of killing everyone and what happens once he succeded in doing this.

Undertale Void (UtV) Linked to the multiverse Undertale Timeline Tell the story of Undertale characters from different timelines who all fell into the Core, some instead of Gaster, and some after him. In order of fall into the Core: Gaster, Sans, Alphys, Papyrus, Undyne, then another Sans. They all have specific powers thanks to the Void that they all live in. They can travel to other timelines but Gaster forbids it because it can have major consequences on said timeline. I have no idea how I want this to end and it’s kinda old compared to the other stuff so I have no idea if I will post the story here.

Undertale Horror (UtH) Cut from the multiverse Undertale and Horrortale (by @sour-apple-studios) Timeline The only Undertale story of mine (or at least I think) that has OCs in it (not alternate Frisks or other Undertale characters, original characters). It tells the story of Frisk who left the underground after a neutral run, which, as everyone knows, is the beginning of Horrortale. Liliana (first OC), falls into the underground and, with the help of Gwen (second OC), manages to make a Reset and convinces Frisk to do a pacifist run. So everyone starts to live happily at the surface, but things gets worse when some people start to remember what happened before the Reset. This is one of the stories that I like the most and that I’m the most enthusiastic about even though I have no idea how this is gonna end. I know that I will make it into a comic but I want to do KtATF and DtR before and I hope I will make it before I lose that enthusiasm because that would kinda suck.

Undertale timeline 2737 (Utt2737) Cut from the multiverse Undertale Timeline This is my take on the characters origin and their evolution (especially Sans’ (in case you didn’t know or haven’t noticed most of my AUs are Sans centric even though I often try to balance it out with other characters) but the evolution is for pretty much every characters). I think it will also cover what happens after Frisk leaves the underground (neutral timeline with random actions). I think I will stop with Frisk’s arrival but I’m not sure so I’ll keep writing shit.

Cardtale Background AU Already existing concept (aka Cardtale) remaster The concept of “taking Undertale characters and turning them into cards” already exist, same for the name. I just thought that it would be fun to make my own version of it. I wrote this AU like a game, which means that there is no special story about it, but I might use it in my multiverse story as a random AU getting attacked (hence the name background AU). Each character of the game is linked to a specific card, and I might draw some of those cards if I don’t know what else to do.

Starvingtale Cut from the multiverse/Background AU AU inspired by Horrortale (by @sour-apple-studios) and partially by Monstertale (by @shnowbilicat) (also this is the name I originally wanted to take) In this AU, monsters don’t have magic but instead have more... monstrous traits. They need more food than humans and, as they were trapped in the underground, food started to run out. A lot of monsters have died and, since they don’t turn to dust, the weakest would be eaten by the strongests. Sans and Papyrus’ designs were heavily inspired by True Xans from Undervirus (by @jeyawue), so they have cat-like skeleton legs and tails. Toriel and Asgore have more goat characteristics and are massive (they litterally look like big squares when I draw them). Undyne also has more shark-like features. I haven’t choose a design for Alphys yet. This AU might be used as a background AU just like Cardtale but I might also tell a story with it once I’m done with the others.

Spirittale Cut from the multiverse I forgot if I was inspired by something when I made this one It’s mostly a concept and I have no real story to go with it. Monsters are called spirits (monster is an insult). Every spirit has one or several elements that influences their powers and sometimes personnality. Those elements are fire, water, ice, plants, poison, darkness, light, space, earth, metal and electricity. It is possible for humans, animals and objects to become a spirit under the exposure of one or several elements. Spirits can also gain elements that way. It is common for a spirit to have an appearance that isn’t directly linked to their element(s). Spirits of metal, darkness, light and poison are the rarest elements since they were consised the most dangerous of spirits and were almost eradicated. It is also more difficult to gain those elements. Spirits with only one element, also called pure spirits, are extremely rare, same for free spirits. Free spirits are spirits who often have only one element and can possess pretty much any item. The main cast’s elements (if most of them are missing it’s because I forgot they existed): Toriel: fire and earth Napstablook: darkness, free spirit Sans: ice, poison and space Papyrus: earth, light and space Undyne: water, metal and light Alphys: electricity and fire Mettaton: electricity, free spirit Riverperson: darkness and space For now, this AU’s just a concept (just like Underfell or Underswap), and I have no idea if I will tell something with it.

Infectiontale Cut from the multiverse Inspired by every zombie story ever In this AU, there’s a sickness that decomposes the body of people who are infected by it. Since people thought more monsters had it compared to humans, they locked down every monster and every few infected humans they found. There is no actual cure for this but the king of monster is determined to find one. Sides effects include general hunger at first stages, hunger for meat in middle stages and for humans and monsters at advanced stages. It also slowly decomposes body pieces, separates the skin from the bones and makes infected people bleeding almost constantly. From middle to advanced stages, the infected person may have a hard time remembering who they are and keeping control of their body and instincs. It is also at that time that the sickness can be transmitted through any corporal fluid, most common being blood and saliva. I don’t know if I will make a story out of it but I have some ideas that I might developp later.

Underfantasy Cut from the multiverse Inspired by diverse mythologies Monsters are replaced by different fantastic creatures. Unlike Undertale, there was two wars inter-species: the war in between angels and demons wich made angels lose their powers and dissapear and almost killed all the demons, and the war in between humans and monster wich ended with monsters trapped under a giant dome and humans trapped underground. Both monsters and humans suffered heavy losses during the war, in consequence there is about 5000 humans and 7500 monsters left (those numbers are random and will certainly change for plot convenience). The Dreemurr family are centaurs, the skeletons are demons, Undyne is a mermaid, Alphys is a small dragon and Flowey is a blood flower. Those are the characters that I currently chose a specie for. I’m as enthusiastic for this AU than for UtH and I think there is more story for this AU than any other AU I’ve made (at least for now).

Bloodlusttale Linked to the multiverse Inspired by Lusttale (by @nsfwshamecave) The story is pretty much like Lusttale’s exept monster didn’t have a problem with reproduction, but with combativity. The first human to fell in the underground had a soul with the bloodlust trait that was later injected in every monster to increase their strength. This AU shows similarities with Underfell exept monsters don’t fight to kill but rather to prove their strenght or humiliate their opponent (also for sadistic pleasure). Only adult monsters are injected with Bloodlust but most parents already had Bloodlust in their veins before their made kids, so this trait got transmitted to most children as well. Having scars is considered as a weakness because it shows that you lost a fight, so the more scars someone has, the weaker they’re seen by the other even though it might not be true. Mettaton is hosting a show in wich monsters fight each other, sometimes almost to death, and so monsters can satisfy their thirst for blood by watching TV instead of by constantly engaging fights with their neighbours. Even though most monsters come to fight on this show for fame, bloodlust or the prizes (mostly Gold), some are kidnapped by Mettaton’s employees when they refuse to come fight in the arena (it happens with strong monsters or those who are said to be strong so that it brings more spectators and participants on the show).

Underlight Background AU/Linked to the multiverse Inspired by nothing I guess In this AU monsters are very similars to robot (exept they have emotions and need food just like humans) and cannot die with age. They also need Light to live, wich is produced by “living beings” such as humans, animals and plants. Since monsters don’t produces Light, they aren’t considered as living beings by most people. Golden flowers are the main source of Light and light and are used in lanterns. They are also one of the only plants in the underground since some expeditions have been made to the surface to bring living beings who produces light. This AU is very medieval-like, by that I mean that they don’t have access to a lot of technology and most monsters grow their own food. This is a background AU for a multiverse timeline about my own version of Empireverse in wich an Undyne and a Sans go out of their timeline to fight with the Sun and Moon empires.

Underfeel Cut from the multiverse Inspired by... Ink and his emotion vials? (honestly idk for this one) Underfeel is an AU that is extremely similar to Undertale exept that soul traits are replaced by emotions and that the colors of what I plan to be a comic matches those emotions. Also, emotions can give you powers if you’re in a magic environment or have magic at your disposition. Frisk’s main emotion, or at least the one that they always use, is hope, and grant them wings. Each feeling is associated with a color, and color schemes follow those (or at least that’s what I want to do). For now, this AU’s just a concept, just like most of my AUs.

Underrain Cut from the multiverse Inspired by the song Can’t stand the rain by The Rescues In this AU, monsters are entirely made of water and live in an area surrounded in high freezing mountains and were it’s always raining. Not a lot of people believe that there are monsters there because no one bothers to go and try to explore this area, since it’s highly dangerous and would take way too long. Also, you can’t see anything from the sky because of the clouds. Every monster wears a mask which is like their family name. For example, monsters from the same family will wear the same type of masks, and married couples can choose to take the same mask as their partner or to take a new mask type. The most expensive masks are those who can perfectly replicate the wearer’s facial expressions and change their appearance to fit perfectly their look. For example, Asriel’s mask allows him to look almost like the one from Undertale and almost doesn’t show any watery part. One of the worst things that can happen to a monster is degeneration, wich means that monsters can have too much or not enough water, and that can lead to their death. They can also start to fuse with other monsters, soak everything around them, evaporate when there isn’t enough rain or simply “melt” when in contact with water. For now, it’s only a concept AU, and I don’t have any satisfying idea of a story I want to go with.

Underelements Background AU Inspired by Spirittale and Underrain (yes I got inspired by my own AUs WAT YOU GONNA DO BITCH) In this AU, monsters are spirits, just like in Spirittale. There’s three kinds of spirits: water, fire and wind spirits. There’s also earth spirits, but they call themselves humans. Earth spirits are also the only one who call other spirits “monsters”. The differences in between the different kinds of spirits are their colors (skin, eyes, hair, etc.), their mindset and culture, even thought those are generalities and don’t apply to every single spirit of said type. When two spirits from different types have a child, this child might be one type or a combination of their parents’, same for their powers. They will still be labelled as one type according to their personnality even though their appearance might be a mix of their parents’. Frisk is an earth spirit, Toriel is a fire spirit, Napstablook is a water spirit, Sans a wind spirit, Papyrus a fire spirit, Undyne a water spirit, Alphys a fire spirit, Mettaton a wind spirit, Muffet a wind spirit, Asgoreis a fire spirit, Chara an earth spirit and Asriel a fire spirit. Fire spirits’ colors tend to be red, sometimes purple or cyan, wind spirits’ are light cyan and blue, sometimes pink, water spirits’ are blue and dark cyan, sometimes green or turquoise, earth spirits’ are yellow and brown, sometimes red. Of course, it’s more detailed than that, but I’m not sure about precise colors so here’s an overview. I have no story to tell with this AU so it’s just a cool concept I like and the opportunity to create new species.

Admintale Cut from the multiverse Inspired by Sans’ capacities to use debug commands in the original Undertale game Monsters are humans that have developped powers that allows them to hack reality and laws of physics, and they call themselves “admins”. Most of them change their appearance to go to places frequented by other admins, and change tyhemselves into the original Undertale characters, hence the name “monsters”. At first, they were tolerated by everyone because no one knew they existed, but then people started to be aware of their existence and to distrust them. Slowly, the government started to vote laws against them, until being an admin became a crime punishable by the death penalty, or at least that’s how I want the story to go (if I ever write it). Every character’s real appearance is pretty much their Humantale/Overtale form, and their “monster” form is the one from Undertale. Every admin has different powers that they can train to gain new ones.

I have other AUs on my computer but or I don’t like them or they’re too old for me to remember the details or they’re too small to do something about it or they’re just old and cringy.

#my art #my shit #masterpost #my aus #KtATF #KtFCS #DtR #UtV #UtH #Utt2737 #dusttale #killertale #horrortale #lusttale #watchertale #sentrytale #cardtale #starvingtale #spirittale #infectiontale #underfantasy #undertale #bloodlusttale #underlight #underfeel #underrain #underelements #admintale #monstertale #au

[thepatchworkcrow]

Witchcraft Asks #1-105

So, just for @dearpenumbra and because I’m wide awake and bored and want to answer them: Here is the list of the 105 witchcraft questions I just finished answering. I answered one each day but feel free to answer them all at once or however you want to do it. Tag your it!

1. Are you solitary or in a coven? I am technically a solitary, though I have friends with whom I occasionally celebrate the sabbats and do other witchy things with.

2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other? I use ‘Pagan’, ‘witch’, and ‘Druid’ to describe myself. My path of Druidry is inherently pagan because of its reverence of the earth and all life, and it contains practices that are part of witchcraft.

3. What is your zodiac sign? I am a Cancer!

4. Do you have a Patron God/dess? I do, for sake of Tumblr, I call them The Hunter and The Lady of the Lantern. They’re deities I’ve not found in any mythology- sort of my own unique perspective / interaction with the divine forces of the universe, and so I keep the names I call to them in ritual private.

5. Do you work with a Pantheon? I do work with other deities beyond my patron god and goddess. A lot of them are from the various Celtic pantheons and include: Brighid, Gofannon the Smith, Cerridwen, Mannanan Mac Lir, and Gwyn ap Nudd.

6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or any other kind of divination? I read tarot, runes, and ogham. I own an agate scrying mirror, but it’s very finnicky and I’d love to learn palmistry some day.

7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any) I use sage for cleansing, mugwort for a couple of blends of incense for divination, and lavender to cleansing, peace, intuition, etc.

8. How would you define your craft? It’s a path of Druidry dedicated to the Wylde Hunt.

9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do? I have cursed- only in extreme situations, and the curse I used was aimed more at making the target realize how negative and toxic the bullshit they’ve been spewing/causing is. Sort of a “You’re going to realize the full horror of your actions” kind of a thing.

10. How long have you been practicing? The summer solstice will mark my 13th year.

11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars? I have familiar spirits: a black dog that goes by the name Yew, and a raven with a gold stripe on its beak named Gildenbeck. I’ve never had a familiar in the sense of a pet who does witchy stuff with me though.

12. Do you believe in Karma or Reincarnation? I believe in reincarnation and that our cations in one life affect the next. I’ve done  a past life regression before, but that’s a story for a post that isn’t QUITE this long.

13. Do you have a magical name? I used to. I’ve got through a number of them over the years, changing them out as I see fit. My most recent one was actually the name I started this blog under: Brenna Adaira, but I’ve since outgrown it, and don’t really feel the need for one.

14. Are you “out of the broom closet”? Yes. I have been from the very beginning.

15. What was the last spell you performed? Shit. I don’t even remember. I’m not super big on spells. Anything more complex than carving a candle and charging it with intention to leave burn on my altar is usually not something I bother with.

16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable? This is a silly question. As I’ve been practicing 13 years, and as someone with a bachelor’s degree, I’d say yes. I am knowledgeable about a number of things. However, I recognize there are many things I’m not knowledgeable about and there is always room for growth and learning.

17. Do you write your own spells? Since they’re very slapdash? Yes. They get written as I’m throwing spell components together to just DO THE THING.

18. Do you have a book of shadows? If so, how is it written and/or set up? I have recently started compiling a more formal grimoire of my path and all of its integral components. My working book of shadows however is always a sketchbook that gets carried around with me literally everywhere. It’s got drawings, scribbled poetry, journal entries, cut and pasted pictures, ritual outlines, musings, research notes, etc. and it’s all pretty out of order and chaotic. But I love the freedom of not having to be too careful with how I structure things and just let everything happen organically.

19. Do you worship nature? I do not worship nature. I honor the forces of nature; I treat them with respect and work to do my best to live in harmony with them. We are part of nature, not separate beings.

20. What is your favorite gemstone? Oof. This is a tough one. Moss Agate or Moonstone... but also Citrine and Opal. xD

21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work? I have a pheasant wing fan I use for smoke cleansing. I also have a small set of antlers that I’m still meaning to make into a proper headdress for ritual wear. Right now, they sit with my statute of The Hunter and the rest of my Wylde Hunt stuff.

22. Do you have an altar? Usually, yes. At the moment I don’t because I’ve been sort of in-transit for months. I’m moving back home at the end of the week though, and setting up an altar is the FIRST thing I intend to do.

23. What is your preferred element? Air. I love wind, stars, storms, gentle breezes through the forest, music, singing, the power of words.

24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist? Not even in the slightest. XD

25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch? Already answered above, but I’m a Druid! ^_^

26. What got you interested in witchcraft? I answered this in my previous post.

27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch? Yes! We used to frequently invite non-pagan friends to celebrate sabbats with us. One year, we actually erected a Maypole in my backyard and did a maypole dance.

28. Have you ever used ouija? Nope, and I would never. I don’t need it to speak with my guides, I don’t wanna poke at the dead, and I don’t trust them as reliable tools.

29. Do you consider yourself a psychic? I have strong intuition, but I wouldn’t call myself a psychic.

30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it? I have a couple, but the main one appears to me as a sort of elven / druidic entity (kinda Tolkien elf-ish with the blonde hair and all that). He goes by the name of Brannan and has been sort of my Druid guide both before and during my OBOD studies.

31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started? I wish someone had taught me really basic grounding and centering exercises and energy work first. Instead, I jumped right into gods and spells and rituals and all sorts of silliness early on in my path.

32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite? I haven’t this past year or so because I’ve been trying to get my bearings post-college again. But my favorite is Midsummer. It’s closest to my birthday, marks the anniversary of my dedication to studying witchcraft, and is just always a super heightened time for me spiritually speaking.

33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children? Yes. There’s another, longer blog post coming about my thoughts on this, but the short version of it is that I would rather give them some manner of religious context and collection of traditions and heritage than leave them completely on their own to consider the big universal questions religion is supposed to answer.

34. Do you meditate? Not nearly as often as I would like, but at least a couple of times a month.

35. What is your favorite season? Autumn. I love the gloom and the smell of the leaves, and the rain and how windy it gets, and the colors, and of course all of the things like pumpkin spice and Halloween. It’s another time of deep spiritual work for me. This is when the Wylde Hunt rides, and I mark my progress on my path in devotion to them.

36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform? I don’t actually like doing magick other than charging and burning candles. I’m sort of a lazy witch and usually find it more necessary to do inner work to get through a problem than to try and effect change in the world around me.

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life? I take actions that align with my spiritual goals: living in harmony with the natural world, creating beautiful things, never stopping my own growth and learning, and compassion for others. I recycle where I can, try to reduce waste and reuse things. I take walks in nature and spend time in the woods. I stay informed so I can vote in ways that put people in power who care about our world. I take time to notice beauty in small places: a bird flying over head, stars in the winter sky, the way the sun is coming in through a window. When all of life is sacred, the spiritual path is not separate from the rest of your life. It becomes the lens through which you frame your life.

38. What is your favorite witchy movie? If I had to choose.... damn. I really can’t. The triad of Hocus Pocus, The Craft, and Practical Magic kinda take that place. I love them all in different ways.

39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why? My favorite witchy books... Non-fiction: Living Druidry by Emma Restall-Orr, because it’s a look at Druidry through a Druid’s eyes. It introduces Druid concepts without the formal textbook layout, and I love reading about her experiences. Fiction: The Tree Shepherd’s Daughter and the associated series by Gillian Summers because who wouldn’t love a book about an elf who talks to trees whose day job to hide among humans is to make furniture to sell at Renaissance Festivals? Like... It’s just good, okay?

40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not. This got answered in my last post. 

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you? And so did this one!

42. What is your favourite type of candle to use? I typically use those cheap chime candles or tealights. They burn down quickly and are easy to get ahold of.

43. What is your favorite witchy tool? I would have to say my drum. I love love love love raising energy with it or doing trance work while drumming.

44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools? All of my wands have been handmade and my altar statues are all sculpted by hand. My ogham staves are handmade, and I’ve made a set of runes in the past, but they weren’t fond of me. XD

45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits? Ohhhh yes. Lots! The Wylde Hunt is one such example, but I’ve also worked with goblins and other various fae.

46. Do you practice color magic? I use color associations loosely, but don’t adhere to them too much.

47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind? I did, sort of. My mom’s best friend was the one who bought me my first tarot deck, taught me how to read, etc. She gave me witchy homework now and then, but it wasn’t really a formal mentorship. She’s like another mother to me though, and I love her lots. <3

48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies? Unfortunately, my preferred way is no longer possible. My local shop closed down in Feb of 2017 and I have been super sad ever since. I’m still trying to find a suitable alternative.

49. Do you believe in predestination or fate? I believe that we have free will and that the Universe sort of fills in the gaps. I think somethings are sort of “meant” to happen, but I don’t think everything is set in stone.

50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice? I light candles at my altar and just open myself to the energies, or I go on a walk with my friend, Mark. We always get into super deep conversations that get me back in the vibe.

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences? I could fill an ENTIRE post just on this alone, but yes. Plenty.

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve? Answered!

53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent? I love incense! I tend to burn a lot of Dragon’s Blood, though I’ve recently discovered one called Mountain Heather that I am ALSO in love with.

54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind? I keep weirdly vivid dreams in the notepad function on my phone. It’s usually right near my pillow and I just tap what I remember in there and try to go back to sleep.

55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster? Man, I can’t really think of a time things went horribly wrong to be honest.

56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success? Maintaining my practice and developing it into something uniquely my own.

57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about? I know some people would say having spirit guides and such is silly. There are others who would say that energy work and psychic vampirism and the like are kinda woo-y and weird too.

58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too? Anyone from any religion can be a witch. Witchcraft is a practice, not a religious path. Anyone can learn to raise and manipulate energy regardless of which deity they do/n’t worship.

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work? I just don’t usually feel a need for it. It’s usually able to be solved by mundane means or by doing inner personal work.

60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain? Don’t we all have perfectly aesthetic rituals that leave us feeling profound as a standard which we don’t ever quite meet? Aren’t we all secretly pining for Tumblr/Instagram worthy altars?

61. What is something witch related that you want right now? I actually really want to get a Tarokka deck, which is a tarot-esque oracle used in the D&D Curse of Strahd campaign. I want them for the campaign, but also to use for actual divination because it sounds like fun to try.

62. What is your rune of choice? I’m very partial to Kenaz (light, illumination, guidance), and Laguz (movement, water travel, magic, intuition).

63. What is your tarot card of choice? The 8 of Cups, The Star, and the 3 of Swords are all sort of cards I look at to determine if I’ll love or hate a deck.

64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite? I do use some, albeit sparingly. I’m rather fond of patchouli, sage, and a heather one I found.

65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses? I’m currently wrapping up the Order of Bards Ovates and Druids’ Bardic Grade Course.

66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public? Right now, my everyday necklace is a nine-pointed star which is supposed to represent the 9 sisters of Avalon, of whom Morgan le Fay was one.

67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch? Yes. Once, in early high school by a teacher. And once in college by some preppy sorority girl who wandered over to the LGBT clubs’ table at a Campus Life event looking to cause an argument.

68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines? Not magazines, but I follow a number of blogs both on Tumblr, Patheos, and Wordpress.

69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft? Yes. Absolutely. The Burning Times weren’t about real witches. Modern paganism is not ancient paganism, and the context of myth, traditional practices, etc. are important.

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch? The language and tools I have with which to describe my experiences and think about and interact with the rest of the universe.

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch? Being a conscious being and co-creator with spirit is freaking hard, yo.

72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band? My absolute fave is Damh the Bard, but also give S.J. Tucker and OMNIA a listen. <3

73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how? I used to do Dark Moon tea and meditation time with the Dark Goddess. Usually if I do something for any of the moon phases it’s sort of spur of the moment these days.

74. Do you ever work skyclad? I don’t, because I currently lack private space to do so.

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how? Well, I am an empowered being with knowledge and love of the Universe and the divine connections between us all. I’m also equipped with various techniques for performing inner transformative work as well as affecting change in the world around me. What’s not to love?

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice? My practice is a lot of “Solitary Wicca” meets OBOD druidry, meets a sort of Dragonheart ‘knights of the Old Code’ sort of feel. It’s about nature, creativity, and living honorably.

77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc) I do. I don’t believe they exist corporeally in this plane of existence though.

78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol? I’m not sure I could pick one... but if I had to, I’d say the symbol for Awen.

79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not? I’ve used blood in magic exactly twice. Once was in a dedication rite to The Hunter, and the other was to the Wylde Hunt. Both times it was blood from something like a paper cut or popped blister, whatever that was already available. I used it as a potent source of energy but also as a sympathetic tie to myself. Since I was dedicating myself to said entity, using it as a taglock made sense.

80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice? Absolutely not. Thank you, next.

81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow? I’m looking to pursue the OBOD’s further courses. I want to become a celebrant for the order and perform marriage, death, etc. rites for others within the order as well as those in the pagan community.

82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice? I love candles that smell like mulled spices or coffee or pumpkin. I don’t use them for magic, just for ambiance.

83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it? I ground and center before every ritual. Beyond that, I’m usually doing magic on the fly.

84. What real life witch most inspires your practice? Emma Restall-Orr, whom I’m not sure would identify as a witch. She’s technically a druid and author of various books and I love how gritty and honest and earthy what she shares is.

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity? I like to get somewhere quiet, and channel them through sort of automatic writing. I also frequently use visualization / meditation techniques to go to my sacred grove and speak with them there.

86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients? What is this... organize you speak of? All spell components are in wee jars in a drawer. xD

87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of? My mom was a practicing Wiccan when I was little, and my sister has interest in witchcraft.

88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it? Answered in my last post. 

89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they? I have a strange knack for vibing with plants/crystals/etc. and just knowing what they can be used for. I’ve also always had the ability to sort of see/hear things not there: spirits, fae, etc.

90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven? To be initiated implies you are entering into a group. The OBOD gives you the opportunity to initiate yourself if you aren’t close enough to a grove, but the point stands that it’s a ritual given to you by someone else. You can dedicate yourself to a specific path, but initiation implies you’re being included in something you once were not included in.

91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought? I’m pretty sure it was a new tarot deck, tbh. It’s been too long. I don’t remember.

92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been? Answered in the last post: but Avebury, England.

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities? They aren’t necessary for a balanced and successful path. I know it can be weird not having a specific god/ddess but it’s really really really not necessary to find one right away  to be able to have a successful practice.

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation? I dim the lights, drink some coffee or wine, get somewhere comfy, and put on some quiet music.

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it? It used to come a lot more easily to me. I realized I was using it as sort of escapism and stopped, and have been building it back again.

96. Do you prefer day or night? Why? I prefer night. Everyone else is asleep and it gives me time and space to think and work on things without being disturbed.

97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work? The best time and place is when and where you need it most.

98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly? We forgot to include a means of opening the circle in our first ritual’s notes. So... sort of a stumble.

99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice? Yes... and no. Because with time and practice, you come to find deeper things, and bigger truths. It builds upon itself.

100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces? In my belief system, all gods are separate beings, but all a part of the Great Song of Creation that gives life to the universe.

101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy? I do! No restrictive diets here.

102. What is your favorite color and why? I can’t truthfully pick one. I’m fond of burgundy lately.

103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond? “I really like your necklace; what does that symbol mean?” To which I say “I got it at a renaissance festival; it’s supposed to represent the nine sisters of Morgen LeFay.” which seems to be an acceptable response.

104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest? Probably my sight.

105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice? “Always cast a circle.” I recommend it for new folks, but I rarely ever actually cast one myself.

#about me #asks #questions #witchy questions

[lachalaine]

HOW I RUN MY BLOG

SPEED: my god i am slow. i am the slowest of the slow - the slowest slow to ever BE slow. i have threads in here from two months ago and asks from three months ago and it’s not that i don’t have the will nor the muse to answer any of it tbh. it’s more so that i just don’t have time. between juggling work, friends, family and the additional need of trying to make up my overtime hours for the dates i’ll be overseas in august and october, it’s been more than a little difficult to try to keep everything afloat. that’s one of my issues. 

my second issue is that i... tend to try to write in depth threads and responses, as much as possible; and i’m a perfectionist of my work to the worst degree. to the point that if i don’t have the right idea or the right flow of words at the time - my work is not getting posted. at all. in fact, i’d likely rather delete something i spent two hours working on rather than take the risk of posting it only to hate it for the rest of my life. it feels like shame for some reason i don’t ??? get it ???

like i want to try to create variety, but also i want to try to build an actual story. something that will be fun for both me and my partner, that will be a thread that will have some possible semblance of weight to future interactions. and sometimes the ideas don’t come as quickly as i would like. or they do, and then my brain runs out of vocabulary. and throttles a pillow i hate it, i hate that my standards for myself are like this, but my god - it’s the only way i can be confident about my work and know that i’m not wasting mine or anyone else’s time and it just has to be my own standard of perfect or i run myself into the ground with my anxiety and have a minor breakdown and that’s the worst thing i can do to myself, honestly asdbhsabdha !!!

REPLIES: i write long replies, unfortunately. though i never expect people to match ( and honestly it fluctuates; sometimes it’ll be long, sometimes short, so there’s no pressure or requirement at all really ) , and all i care about at this point is i’m given something to work with and it’s not the kind of thing where it’s a reply for the sake of a reply. i also would prefer to have threads where people add stuff to the threads, and like... i don’t really have to run the show by myself to keep things interesting? that would be nice tbh. in terms of length however, i will likely do at least two or three paragraphs, because one paragraph threads don’t quite encompass everything my muse tends to feel, and sometimes it can get longer - meaning like... two word document pages long. though that type of novella is usually reserved for people i know can match it, otherwise, i try my best to keep it as succinct as possible. 

my brain sorta has this.... organization thing going tbh? where its like i can only do ask replies today, or i can only do threads today, or i can only do headcannon or ooc stuff today. sometimes it even goes by verse, where it decides if it can manage pokemon threads, or main threads, or fate threads, etc. which i understand isn’t quite the... best way to go about things, and it’s weird. very, very weird. but that’s also really the only way i’m able to sort of figure out where to put my attention nowadays. so everything gets replied to in truth, it just. it takes a while. :c :c :c please be patient with me, i’m trying my best!! 

STARTERS: i hold starter calls a lot. sometimes it can be every two months or it can be ( most likely ) when i get a new influx of followers and i want to interact with them. though it can tend to take a while for me to get them out, even if i have them on a list. usually its because i want to try to create starters that will be interesting enough to keep going ( which is sorta my overall theme with everything on here, if you’ll notice ) and sometimes the ideas don’t quite click. or, like with the organization thing, my brain needs to be able to conjure up starters in particular for anything to work. 

more often, i will do inbox calls instead, and those i do personalize according to the muse i’m sending it to. that way if the other mun replies with a response i like, i can continue it into a thread, so that’s sorta like a reverse starter call in that way, i guess. i always clear out my starters owed though, i promise. it just takes me a good while. 

INBOX: sucks in sharp breath 

i’m gonna be way honest here - once upon a time, i didn’t get that many asks at all, so i thought like, if i got like 20 of them, that already was a heck ton and i had to get the number lower. and then somehow i got an influx in asks a few weeks ago and that number jumped to thirty. and then it kept going until forty. and then i thought ‘okay you know what, so long as its not 50, you can still get it down, you’re good!!’  

let me tell you - i am at 76 right now and i am confused as all fuck as to how it got to this point. BUT I HONESTLY DON’T MIND. i love getting asks !! even if i take a while to answer them, because like the starters, i try to give it an actual moment and not a quick snip of an interaction that doesn’t matter in the long run. so asks? same length - two or three paragraphs and more, nothing less. and i tend to do anons first because i know whoever sent it might check back and i don’t want them scrolling through the whole blog thinking they missed it, but tbh, i try to do my older asks first overall. and sometimes there are some asks that require a lot of emotion on jackie’s part, so those get long and take a wee bit longer than most, but i always try to make the wait worth it. luckily, things appear to be going kinda well on that end tbh. i have a good pace set up so i don’t feel like i’m drowning in stuff, and if i could just have ONE DAY WHERE I CAN WORK, I CAN CUT BACK THAT NUMBER EASY, I SWEAR TO GOD. 

i just. i need that day dashdhabdha

but on that note, please. feel free to send me anything you like at any time, i’ll get to it asap, even if i have six asks for you in my inbox still from past memes. and tbh, i’d rather i always have the option available to answer that particular interaction rather than leave it so it never happens no matter what. so always remember, as always - 

FEEL FREE. 

SELECTIVITY: severely selective. to the nth degree. i follow about less than 180 rp blogs because the rest are aesthetics at the moment, though i’m always looking for more. i try to find blogs with muns that i feel really care about their muse as a whole, and blogs that have a pretty good grasp on writing. i decide whether or not i can make jackie work with them somehow, and then i sorta check the writing itself to make sure i can jive with it, and then that’s when i decide to follow. 

i have. a very particular standards with other blogs that need to be checked off tbh? because i want these interactions to actually matter. so besides the writing, honestly the thing that rings out the most for me would be their passion and their ideas. like, i want to make sure i can create something new with this mun so i just try to see if they will match what i give them with their own ideas, because coming up with a majority of the plots on my own is the most exhausting thing, and i can’t do that consistently. if i can get that sense from them that they’re willing to try to push their own ideas forth, that’s really what makes me follow them back asap !! on the other hand, i also check the mun - make sure they’re not the type i’ll likely have trouble with down the line. i check tags, i check ooc posts, i check everything. i am a self proclaimed blog stalker and tbh, its the only way i keep my dash in check. and so far its worked out very well so it’s all good on my end, even if that means less people to interact with.

quality over quantity, always. 

WISHLIST: FIGHT THREADS. POTENTIAL ROMANCE THREADS. FWB THREADS??? though i am selective on that one. SMUT THREADS FOR ROMANCE PEEPS. PLATONIC THREADS. ADVENTURE THREADS. HARD TO GET THREADS. CRIME THREADS. JACKIE FUCKING UP YOUR MUSES LIFE THREADS. ANGST. MURDER. HEARTBREAK. INJURY. ROAD TRIPS. NAPS. LATE NIGHTS IN THE CITY. JAIL. HAUNTED HOUSES. MUSIC FESTIVALS. MUSIC COLLABORATIONS. FATE VERSE THREADS. POKEMON THREADS. PERSONA THREADS. I DON’T CARE, I LOVE IT ALL, JUST GIVE IT TO ME, AND IF YOU HAVE A PARTICULAR THING YOU WANNA TRY, LEMME KNOW AND I’LL MAKE A VERSE FOR IT NO PROBLEM !!! 

but also i have a wishlist here :”> and i will love you if you boop me for it, thank you !!

HONEST NOTE: i love all my mutuals. i love all my non mutuals. i love people that like my posts. i love people that reblog my posts. i love when people feel comfortable enough to plot with me. when they’re comfortable enough to send me stuff randomly. when they’re patient with my sloth like tendencies and still they find the muse to respond to my threads even if a whole month has passed. i love people that are understanding and don’t mind the wait, because i do promise that i don’t delete anything. it’s there, and its waiting, and its only taking a while because i want to provide you with something good. something that will make you smile, and make you want to pursue the interactions with my muse. i want all this to mean something, and its never because i’m bored of you or your muse or our thread.

my brain just has a filing cabinet i never asked for. 

but honestly, come plot with me, just boop me randomly, send me all the things no matter what it is. i promise you i will LOVE IT and in truth, NOTHING at all makes me HAPPIER than that. and though fair warning i am exhausted a lot which impacts my response speed ooc - it’s honestly never because i don’t want to reply. my timezone as a whole is shitty and my energy levels doubly so, and i want to be sure that once we start talking or plotting, i can give you as much energy as i can spare, as much energy as you deserve. not five minutes of conversation and then i pass out. so if that means taking some time to respond, please understand that i’m trying my best. 

please be patient with me, that’s all i ask. and i promise you, i will make it up to you. as best as i can. as fast as i can. no matter what. 

thank you, i love you, have a amazing day xx 

TAGGED BY: S T O L E N

TAGGING: anyone who actually went through and read this as a whole heckie !! I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OUT IN CASE ANYONE WAS CONCERNED BECAUSE I SLOW, PLEASE UNDERSTAND. I’M TRYING MY BEST I LOVE EVERYONE WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL AND ENERGY I PROMISE T.T

#&& did you think i wasn't real (about j) #/ look i did this today #/ its important to me i guess ?? in case anyone thinks im ignoring them ?? #/ im not im just #/ very slow #/ always slow #/ i will wave a slow flag for years #/ i swear to god #/ i will catch up soon but for your information !!!

[dartlekey]

A Tale of Things Lost

Chapter 4: Sleep

Summary: Mistakes are made. So is breakfast. Inukawa's bed is surprisingly wide, but his siblings are a pain.

Notes: I wish I had a best friend like Takenaka. By the end of this chapter, so will you, I hope.

Previous chapter | First chapter

*

Takenaka hated Football games with a passion.

You'd think the destruction of half of Spices City would at least deter the organizers from scheduling another game, but no. According to the dude on TV, it was actually “in defiance of this tragedy” that the game was held. Takenaka wished they could save their defiance for another time - perhaps when he wasn't trying to sleep.

Sighing, he rolled over on his bed and grabbed his phone. Once he'd stopped squinting from the harsh glare of the screen, he opened his tumblr blog, hoping that looking through his aesthetic tag would make him drowsy enough to block the voices - only that he was almost immediately interrupted by the message icon popping up.

What's Inukawa doing up at 12:30 am, he thought tiredly, and checked the message.

You still awake? ʕ•ﻌ•ʔ, Inukawa had written. The cutesy emoji were normal for him; Takenaka often had fun imagining Inukawa's actual expression as he typed those - he suspected it was the same he wore when they were alone, which was somewhere between ‘ugh’ and ‘dead inside’.

Yeah, why? Takenaka texted back. The “...” symbol came up almost immediately, but stayed there for quite a while, occasionally disappearing only to come back up seconds later. Takenaka frowned at his screen. This did not bode well.

He was staring at the screen so hard it took him a few seconds to realize that Inukawa had finally sent his response.

 …because I think I kinda had a panic attack just now (￣□￣;;) Thought you should know, since you’re my mental health rep or whatevs ﾍ(￣▽￣*)ﾉ  

Takenaka dropped his phone on his face in shock. For a few seconds he just lay there, dazed - then he sat up and grabbed his jacket from his desk chair. Be there in ten. Stay put. He didn't wait for the response, instead hurrying out of his room and down the stairs, trusting in the fact that his mother was a heavy sleeper.

He arrived at Inukawa’s house seven minutes later huffing from exhaustion. One week of body improvement club hadn't exactly increased his endurance much; or actually at all, it felt like - at least he hadn't had that far to go.

Inukawa's head was already sticking out of his window, glaring at Takenaka in disbelief. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Providing emotional support,” Takenaka said, “Now let me in, it's freezing out here.”

“Wha- you can't just come in! My parents are watching TV in the living room, they'll see you walk down the hallway - and they won't be happy, seeing as it's one in the morning, and I'm still grounded for disappearing for two weeks.”

Takenaka frowned. “Why would they watch TV at quarter to one in the first place?”

“How should I kn- what are you doing.”

“Climbing through your window. Good thing you're on the ground floor, I don't think I'd be able to scale your house's drain.”

“Takenaka, I swear-”

“Shush. I'm concentrating.”

So he said, then slipped and fell through the window, faceplanting onto Inukawa's bedroom floor. “Ouch.”

“You sure you were concentrating?” Inukawa quipped, looking down at him with no move to help him up. Takenaka shot him a glare, carefully touching his nose to check for bleeding. “A little gratitude would be nice, you know.”

“Gratitude for what? I didn't ask you to come here.”

“Yes you did,” Takenaka snapped, harsher than he'd meant to. “I know you, Inukawa; you wouldn't have texted me unless you were desperate for help - so a few concerned words on the screen would hardly have sufficed as comfort. Your hands are still shaking, for fucks sake.”

Inukawa looked down in surprise, and quickly shoved his trembling hands into his pockets. “Oh. Ah.“

Takenaka sighed, and sat down on the bed, brushing off an empty bag of chips. “So. Wanna talk about it? “

Inukawa hesitated. “I don’t really - uh… Could we just look at the stars for now?”  God, this is embarrassing. But it does help me calm down...

Takenaka nodded, a bit taken aback by Inukawa's odd request - but he had no reason not to comply. “The stars? Uh, sure.”

Inukawa sat down next to him on the bed, which was, conveniently, directly opposite the window. Takenaka looked out, and was surprised by the amount of stars they could see despite being in a city. I guess Inukawa lives in a place with little light pollution. Lucky him.

Takenaka glanced back at Inukawa and was suddenly struck by how young he looked, with his fearful eyes set on the stars outside, shaking hands crumpling the blanket beneath him. Inukawa was fourteen, he had to remind himself, just like himself; a second year in middle school. Going on age alone, his eyes shouldn't yet hold as much bitterness as they did, and the happy smiles that danced over his face so often shouldn't be fake. Neither should his own, for that matter; neither of them deserved the curses they'd been afflicted with, and Takenaka felt an irrational surge of anger at the world for being so uncaring.

But he kept his silence, and watched the stars, and soon enough his anger had dissipated. No wonder that people have been stargazing for millennia, he thought curiously; it makes you feel oddly peaceful.  

Well, unless you really disliked space for some reason. “Is this okay for you? I mean, doesn't looking at the stars remind you of… uh…”

“Of Moetyl?”, Inukawa finished, his attempt at nonchalance lost to the tremble of his voice. “No. Actually, rather the opposite - since I never saw the stars from there…”

At seeing Takenaka's confused expression, he explained, ”You see, Moetyl has no day or night because of their planet's rotation. It's like earth and the moon - you know, like people all around the world only ever see one side of the moon because its rotation around itself correlates in a certain way to its rotation around earth? So, the N’Eivackh have the same thing going on, if you equate their sun to earth and their planet to the moon - so basically, half the planet is always dark, and the other half always light. And I was slap-bang in the middle of the central sunny continent. The only way I could keep track of time was my wristwatch... “

Takenaka nodded, wondering how Inukawa knew so much about the other planet's strange rotation patterns but knowing better than to ask. After all, he probably doesn’t know either, how he got that information. “Permanent sun, huh? Good thing they don't have vampires. Or do they?”

 Inukawa laughed, his voice cracking in a way that sounded suspiciously like a sob. “No, at least not that. But it was shit as a human as well, you know - it was so draining. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to get proper rest without nighttime; I was permanently exhausted... anyway, looking at the night sky here reminds me that I'm definitely back on earth.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, for once a tangled mess instead of the neat bob Takenaka had grown used to. “That's actually what set me off, more or less. I turned the main lights off to go to sleep but I’d forgotten that my desk lamp was on - and, well, the desk being right next to the window, I only processed myself turning off the lights but bright light coming from outside after midnight and I…”

He took a deep breath and exhaled shakily, revealing how high-strung he still was. “I just lost it completely. I thought I was back on Moetyl, and that I’d… that I’d die there alone, and never see another human soul again. That I’d either go mad or kill myself, and didn’t know which sounded worse. Or that I’d never die and be stuck there for eternity…”

He managed another sob-chuckle. “Now that I say it out loud, it sounds ridiculous, but it seemed so incredibly real at the time. I - God, I was so afraid…”

Takenaka didn’t know what to say to that - but he knew what to do. So he shifted closer to his best friend and shared something he usually hated to talk about simply from the shame of it… Strangely enough, in front of Inukawa, he didn’t feel ashamed at all.

“When I was younger, I used to cry every time there was a big game in Spices City. Didn’t matter what sport, I didn’t know the difference back then anyway, nor did I care. I hadn’t discovered earplugs yet, and the whole city converging in a mass of sound and emotion was an absolutely terrifying experience. My parents couldn’t even begin to understand what I was suffering through - to them, I was sobbing and screaming for no reason, and my dad gave up trying to help when I flinched away from his touch. But my mom was stubborn, and eventually found something that worked to calm me down... She’d have me lie on my stomach like so,” he pushed the other boy sideways, and Inukawa obediently flopped onto his stomach, eyes glinting curiously in the moonlight. “And then she’d draw circles on my back, like so…” He began the pattern, three little circles, then three big ones, then the little ones again - and repeat.

“The SOS pattern?” Inukawa realized, after a few rounds. “Yeah,” Takenaka said quietly. “I loved morse code as a kid, since it’s the one language with no ugly subtext - plus it has a kind of puzzle feeling to it. A mind game, you know? And Mom knew I loved it, so she built it into her pats for me to figure out... Oh, and she sang to me, those cheesy songs that always came on the American radio. Her English was terrible, but I still loved it…”

He paused, and made a face. “I’m not singing for you though, just so you know.”

Inukawa laughed, and it sounded a bit more real this time. “I should hope not. I heard you at last years’ school festival, you can’t hold a tune for shit.”

“Hey!”, Takenaka protested, but he did it with a smile; Inukawa having his nasty sense of humor back seemed like a good sign. And since he never told Takenaka to stop, he continued drawing circles on Inukawa's back,  switching symbols after a while - stars, smiley faces, fishes; whatever came to mind.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed when he realized that Inukawa had fallen asleep. Sighing, Takenaka stretched, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed. He should head home, really; there was no point in staying…

 But the bed was super comfortable. And it really was cold outside…

Okay, five minutes, Takenaka told himself as he stretched out next to Inukawa. Close your eyes for five minutes, then head home.  

 *

Definitely more than five minutes later, Takenaka woke to a shrill ringing, his limbs entangled with someone else's.

“Ugh, Tetsu,” Inukawa grumbled even before his eyes were open, “I told you not to just climb into my bed uninvi-” He immediately fell silent as soon as his eyes opened. “You're… not my little brother.”

“Uh, no,” Takenaka said awkwardly, extricating himself from the tangle of legs and blankets. “Sorry, I really didn't mean to fall asleep here, it just kinda happened - Ohgodmymomisgonnakillme.”

In his haste, he fell out of the bed, slamming into Inukawa's floor for the second time that day. “What is it with me and floors,” he muttered as he searched for the alarm clock, which was still ringing loudly. “Ah there it - is…”

He looked up at Inukawa with surprise. “Why's your alarm set for so early?”

Inukawa chuckled. “Breakfast and bentos for everyone don't make themselves, you know.”

Takenaka opened his mouth only to close it again, feeling like a spoiled only child not for the last time. “Right. Then I'll leave you to that. Uh, see you at school?” Well, that would have been a good plan - but it seemed his stomach had awoken at the mention of breakfast, as it was now growling loudly. Takenaka flushed scarlet, wishing the floor would swallow him. This was not his morning.

Surprisingly, instead of a sharp-tongued witticism he received a sleepy smile from Inukawa. “Wanna have breakfast here?”

Takenaka frowned. “Uh, what about your parents?”

Inukawa waved a hand dismissively as he lazily swung his feet out of bed. “Don't worry. My dad's already left for work, and Mom doesn't roll out of bed until Tetsu needs to be taken to preschool.”

Takenaka hesitated, but breakfast did sound a lot more enticing than walking home in the early morning chill with an empty stomach. “...Alright then. Lead the way.”

 *

The first thing Inukawa did after entering the kitchen was put on the water boiler.

“Coffee?”, he asked. Takenaka nodded enthusiastically. “God, yes. I don’t think I’ll survive today otherwise.” Inukawa chuckled, and nodded towards the big round table dominating the centre of the room. “Sit down, if you want. I’m starting on the food.”

Takenaka sat down, curiously watching Inukawa juggle ingredients, pots and pans with practised ease. Apart from the occasional night when his mom was out on a date trying to find another step-dad for him, Takenaka had never cooked for himself before; he was sure that if he’d attempted to prepare so many things simultaneously, he would’ve lost track and burned something…

“Milk? Sugar?”

Takenaka blinked, then shook his head at Inukawa, who’d just placed a steaming mug in front of him. “Ah, no thanks. I drink it black.”

Inukawa stared at him, disbelief mingling with disgust. “You barbarian.”

Takenaka grinned and took a long slurp. Inukawa squeezed his eyes shut and turned back around to the kitchen isle. “Are you serious? Right in front of my salad?”

Takenaka choked on the coffee, cough-laughing as Inukawa returned to his cooking. “Serves you right,” Inukawa said smugly, then yawned. “Ugh. I need some caffeine too.” He stepped over to the water boiler, then back to Takenaka, then quickly shuffled to the stove again, where something had started to bubble. Takenaka looked down at the item Inukawa had placed off to the side - a small mug with the hiragana for “Mameta” clumsily scrawled across its surface, probably by a young Inukawa. Steaming away inside cup was a teabag; the label told Takenaka it was white tea.

Takenaka grinned. His dad called white tea “sissy tea”, because it was delicate and sweet instead of strong and bitter like green or black tea - of course Inukawa, with his sweet tooth and intense dislike for bitter things, would drink that for breakfast. He was extra that way.

Takenaka took another deep gulp of coffee, then paused curiously as he began to hear music drifting from a small speaker system above the stove. “Is that… the Breath Of The Wild OST?”

Inukawa glanced over, continuing to whisk eggs in a small bowl. “You’ve played the game? Didn’t think you were the type.”

Takenaka shook his head, embarrassed. “Ah, no. I just like listening to gaming soundtracks when I’m out and around people. No vocals, so I still get a break from the voices, but not dry like classical stuff. It’s just… relaxing, I guess.”

“Hmm,” hummed Inukawa thoughtfully, tossing the eggs into a pan. “I see.”

They spent the next few minutes in silence, just listening to the soundtrack drifting across the kitchen, but as the coffee woke him up properly, Takenaka grew restless. “Hey, is there anything I can help you with?”

“Eh,” Inukawa deadpanned, not even turning this time, “I'd rather you don't, you'll get in my way.”

“Oh.”

Takenaka awkwardly took another sip of coffee. Well, that sucked, even though he knew Inukawa was right. Still didn't help him feel less dumb -

He looked up in surprise as Inukawa placed down an array of bowls in front of him, as well as five lunchboxes of varying sizes. “You can arrange the bentos - wash your hands first, though.”

Takenaka nodded, jogging over to the sink already as he tried to hide his smile. Now that was a part of cooking he could manage. I guess Inukawa can be thoughtful, if he wants to be.  

“If I may ask,” he said as he started scooping the food into the boxes, “what was the food on Moetyl like?”

Even with his earplugs still in and Inukawa's back turned, Takenaka could feel the dislike radiating from the other boy.

“Let's just say some of it was still moving.”

“Ew!”, Takenaka responded incredulously. “Really?”

Inukawa laughed. “Really. Oh, they had this pink jelly stuff though, it tasted like marshmallows with cinnamon. Nina would have loved it.”

“Did you say my name, Mame-chan?”, a sleepy voice from the doorway said - then gasped, now clearly awake, “Holy shit. Haru-chan, come quick, you gotta see this."

A taller girl (maybe twelve?) appeared in the doorway next to the twin-tailed monster, looking curiously inside the kitchen - then her eyes caught on Takenaka, sitting as he was at the kitchen table in yesterday's crumpled clothes and his messy morning hair. “Wow. I… was not expecting that.”

“I told you he was Mametas boyfriend! You owe me 500 yen.”

Inukawa choked, then spluttered, “Wha- he's not my boyfriend! We're just-”

“Just friends?”, Nina quipped dubiously as her older sister gave Takenaka a disbelieving stare. “Really, Mame-chan? You’re telling me that as he sits at our table with his sex hair?”

Takenaka's jaw dropped. “My what?” How does she even know what that is at her age? She barely looks nine! ...No wonder Inukawa has trouble with his family.  

“Now, don't jump to conclusions, Nina,” Haru said calmly as she walked to the table and sat down across from Takenaka. “Maybe they're just friends with benefits.” Nina frowned as Takenaka made a strangled wheezing noise. “What's that?”

Inukawa interrupted before Haru could respond. “Not something you should know until you're older. Actually, not something Haru should know either; I think I need to tell Mom to stop letting you buy those BL manga…” He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Let's just agree that this conversation never happened and have breakfast.”

Nina frowned. “What? No! I want compensation for my bet - give me my 500 yen, then we'll have breakfast.”

Inukawa raised an eyebrow. “You really think I'm going to spend money on your dumbass bets about my love life?”

She smirked. “Actually, yes. Because mom doesn't know about your boyfriend… ah, I mean, special friend staying over - and I bet you don't want her to know.” She paused, her eyes widening. “Wait, is that what benefits means?”

Takenaka stared at the unfolding fight, quite stunned at his first encounter of ‘love amongst siblings’. Inukawa on the other hand seemed quite used to it, as he just scowled, eyes narrowing at the little devil. “Fine. But stop calling him my boyfriend, that feels gross and I don't want to lose my appetite.”

While Takenaka probably should have felt insulted, he didn't; rather he felt the same way. He was well aware that usually people who were just friends didn't randomly visit each other at 1am, even if the other was in trouble... and they certainly didn't sleep in the same bed, cuddling. (Not that that bit had been on purpose.) But even so, with Inukawa it had felt so natural, so easy - no attraction, no butterflies or whatever was supposed to float around your stomach and turn your brain into mush; just a connection of two weary minds, enjoying each others company. Calling it dating somehow felt insulting to the understanding they had.

Not that Nina seemed to get it. “Maybe~”, she just intoned in a sing-song voice, sauntering over.

Takenaka frowned. Now this was unnecessary, although perhaps… Ah, bingo. “Actually,” he said, immediately gaining everyone's attention, ”Inukawa doesn't owe you anything. Well, not unless you want him to tell your mother that you only scored 23 points on that last maths test.”

Takenaka's gaze was met by three wide open pairs of eyes. He smiled innocently. “I finished the bentos, by the way. Can we eat now? I'm starving.”

Haruka was the first to respond, grinning widely for the first time that morning. “You know what? I don't care what he is to you, nii-san - but you definitely gotta keep him.”

Inukawa didn't even respond verbally this time, he just grabbed his tea and took a big gulp.

 Ugh, I'm not old enough for this.

#atotl #chapter 4 #mob psycho 100 #inukawa mameta #takenaka momozou #inunaka #my fic

[sirnica]

20 question tag

I was tagged by sweet and awesome   @my-son-taehyung

rules : answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better (did anyone ever tag 20 blogs on this?).

nickname: people call me Nejra. mom calls me Nera. Surgery department calls me Hi 

starsign: Aquarius 

height: 1,65cm (i think)

time right now: 00:21

last thing googled: marriage (i’m making a presentation and i kinda wanna put a picture of a same sex couple to represent the marriage between organic and non organic food production but i’m a woos)

favourite music artists: Troye Sivan, BTS (seriously, they are amazing),  Caravan Palace (i did not know electro swing was a genre but i love it); anime openings (i’m not even sorry)

song stuck in your head: black betty

last movie watched: Rogue One

last TV show watched: Ore monogatari. for goodness sake, how can anything be that pure. it’s soo cute (and it’s a straight romance, so you know it has to be cute if i’m praising it so much)

what are you wearing right now: pijama

when did you create your blog?: sometimes in may-ish of 2012, after binging sherlock. i needed people to help me cope with the reichenbach fall (i still do, tbh)

what kind of stuff do you post: welcome to my twisted mind. we have fandoms, memes and suffering. 

do you have any other blogs: nope. this one is too much. 

do you get asks regularly: i have a few buddies online, if that counts. 

why did you choose your (fave?): they blasted music on a boombox outside my window. 

edit: url: well, it was the summer of 2014; the fault in our stars was at the top of the world and this weird new thing called “welcome to night vale” came into our lives so it was only logical to combine the two. ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD 

 gender: Female

hogwarts house: Slytherin (i thought i might be ravenclaw or even a puff, but it’s always slytherin.)

pokemon team: team mystics(level 24, a proud parent of a 2364 cp gyarados called magikarp, just putting that out there). 

favourite colour: green, blue. 

average hours of sleep: 6-9, it depends on tumblr. 

lucky number:  don’t have that (i am a jaded old ahole, who doesn’t believe in shit, including oneself)

favourite character(s): cast of yuri on ice, sherlock, luna lovegood, Shigeo Kageyama  from mob psycho 100 (seriously, goals), 

how many blankets do you sleep with: just one.

dream job: do you want to make me cry? (but seriously, writer or a goat herder. not a veterinarian. just not a vet)

following: 118

I tag  @letsrevitup  @froggyphevoli  @meda-is-not-a-virus 

#personal #long post #i kinda love these