#and i really just want a real hug

[ibrithir-was-here]

.

#i know part the reason im feeling unmoored is that my ADHD brain hates having to deal with my crummy management painting the apartment #and not responding to texts about how mu h longer it will take #and my room and schedules are all askew because of it #and also im on my period #but man i just feel really unsettled latley #like not spooked unsettled but like...unmoored yeah #im 30 and i really dont know what to do with my life #and its harder now to have hope for the future #im not despondent just...empty feeling #my religion i loved so much turned out to be untrue #the person i loved so much turned out to not care about me #as a romantic interest or even a friend #and both have really made me feel like i just cant trust anything or anybody in any real way #like in a deep You Are My Safe Place kind of way #im rambling sorry #will probably delete later #it really is probably just my period and my apartment being a mess thats screwing with me #and i really just want a real hug #and i dont have anyone nearby i can get one from and have it mean something #so im rambling at tumblr to make myself feel better

[gerryrigged]

okay but following up on this gorgeous art and potential Dick-infiltrates-a-harem fic

what if it's like a trafficking situation and once he infiltrates he's constantly trying to draw all attention to himself to protect the other people there until the rescue operation can kick off. Just the flashiest, most gorgeously seductive outfits and behavior.

And he's successful at it, too - it's less nauseating to him when he can treat it as a performance, distance himself from it, weaponize the looks and charisma that have drawn him attention (both wanted and really, really unwanted) his entire life. When he can use the helpless attraction that people react to him with in order to draw the master's gaze away from those less equipped to handle it, less able to protect themselves.

he's especially trying to shield this younger boy, who is dangerously, magnetically beautiful, and who was very obviously - very unfortunately - The Favorite until Dick arrived. He even looks a bit similar to Dick, superficially - soft black hair, and pale blue eyes that sharpen so keenly whenever his gaze catches on Dick. So unlike the hazy, half-lidded look he's always giving the master.

Watching that man put his filthy hands all over the kid makes Dick feel sick. He re-doubles his efforts to never let them be alone, barely even wearing clothes anymore to catch and keep the master's eye on him, instead.

only for Tim to be like. So I know you're new here, and this protectiveness is...really sweet and kind and everything, but. You're stealing my shtick. I'm the self-sacrificial lamb protecting everyone else around here by drawing away the worst of the attention. I can take care of myself, you don't have to...put on that act, put yourself in the line of fire - not for me.

And Dick is like yes I do - at least until I can get you all out of here. god, you shouldn't have to do any of that either, I want to break his hand every time he touches you--

And Tim is like I knew it, I knew you had to be either a cop or a vigilante, okay what's the plan, I'm fully on board, here's all the security information and blackmail I've been gathering, we're burning this place to the ground, right?

Dick: --Absolutely we are 🥺💘

.......Okay but what if it's Ra's' harem

#dicktim #gerryrigged #gerry words #dick: 🥺I will rescue this beautiful sad boy no matter wh-- #dick: oh wait he's a badass. #dick: and still beautiful. and sad. and sees himself as damaged even though he's so amazing and shit shit shit i'm doomed #meanwhile tim: this brain-meltingly gorgeous guy is putting himself in harm's way for me unnecessarily 8( he should stop #tim: also he looks really familiar. I want him to hug me for some reason unrelated to the miles of golden skin. #tim: he just looks like he hugs real good. #tim: .....wait. dick grayson????????

[marvelling-at-marvel-blog]

The thing about S1 Jamie that I think is interesting is I think on rewatch there is some insight as to why Jamie went so hard on the bullying of Sam. (Not gonna be defending Jamie's treatment of Sam just looking into maybe why). Because out of all of the things Jamie did is season one. The one that seems hardest to understand or really forgive is his treatment of Sam. The first time around, you couldn't understand it. Sam is legitimately the kindest man in existence. (I know as a stroyteller it was the easiest way to really get us to dislike Jamie and really make us more understanding of Roy's treatment of Jamie which to be frank is not great and understand Ted's fruatrations with him) and Sam just keeps trying with Jamie.

But know I think it far to say thay S1 Jamie was jealous of Sam and his easy going, happy, postive nature. I dont think he was aware of it though.

Season 1 Jamie is so interesting because on paper, he had everything he thought he wanted. But I dint think he was overally happy. But yeah it seemed to be all his way

1. He played for the team he grew up supporting and dreamed of playing for. I imagine his first time stepping on that fiels in that uniform would have been monumental. Sure, maybe he wasn't a starter, but he got some minutes and the unspken agreement that in a few years, he would be a star.

2. I imagine he was initially disappointed to be loaned out, but then he learns he is being loaned to Richmond. Yeah they suck, but he gets to play a full 90 minutes, is basically going to be the best player, kick most of thier goals and he gets to be team mates with Roy Kent (he dreamed of playing against him one day, with him is a dream come true, I really think pre show Jamie would have been so excited to play with Roy Kent and was so disappointed in how it turned out). Plus, it has the added advantage of getting him away from his dad. And once his done his loan, he can come back to Manchester. This is his chance to get away from it for a while and be the star

3. He meets and gets to date Keely Jones who his always had a crush on. Dhe is literally a dream girl for him

So he should be happy right. His got everything he wanted, but it's not going the way he expected because.....

1. Roy Kent hates him (in my mind Roy was standoffish from the start, heres come this whizkid who was everything he used to be and slowly losing. I think Jamie came in at 100% and immediatley put Roy on the back foot). Jamie tries with Roy but the more it doesnt work the more Jamie goes OK, if I cant make him like me I will show him I am better than him. Hence the beginning of that relationship.

2. Yeah his away from his dad and his killing it at Richmond, scoring their goals, winning them matches but it only seems to be winning over half the team (he can't see yet his attitude is what is stopping the other guys from liking him). And the team still isn't doing great even with him. Plus he may be away from his Dad but his relationship with his mum feels like it in a werid place which sucks cause she is his favourite person ever.

3. And Keeley seems to be where its going right but sometimes it feels like his a bit of a project for her. And I think he has heard people (like Roy) question why she is with him.

And let's face it, he is still likely hearing from his dad when he doesn't perform up to his standards.

And then heres Sam. Who (at this point in time) isn't playing well, isn't scoring goals, not massively contributing to thier wins and yet he seems so genuinely happy all the time and everyone loves him, Roy Kent seems to like him and is friendly with him, complimenting him (which he has never done to Jamie). Sam is so open and kind he has probably talked about his dad in the locker room, and his relationship with his family seems perfect and that must gnaw at Jamie because all he ever wanted is to make his dad proud and his pretty sure he will never achieve it because the man is a d***k who is impossoble to please, yet Jamie never stops trying and things are werid with his mum which he hates. But all he hears when its brought up from Sam is how great his family is.

Then along comes the new gaffer who Jamie can't even understand why he is coaching, but he also seems to love Sam and wants him to be the decoy so Sam can kick the goal. Even though Jamie knows if he kicks it, it will go in.

Now we all know the reason Sam is liked is because he is an amazing, kind hearted, dedicated person, but I think S1 Jamie is so jealous and does not even know it.

Because S1 Jamie is still living with the notion that being the best in the most important thing ( thank you James Tartt Sr) so to Jamie he is out here busting his ass at training to be the best, scoring all the goals yet Sam seems to be the one who is living what he thought his dream time at Richmond was going to be. And I know I mention it but I think it is a big thing for Jamie, the harder he tries the more Roy seems to despise him, and take enjoyment in his embarrassment.

And S1 Jamie in all maturity handles his jealously by trying to make Sam feel as bad as he is feeling. Which Jamie, baby. That's kindergarten mentality. And poor Sam actually thinks Jamie is a great player and would love to learn from him in the beginning and isnt having a great time either.

But yeah. I dont think Jamie ever disliked Sam. I think he was insanly jealous of him all the time and didn't know how to handle that or even admit it himself.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Apologies for my rambles.

#ted lasso #ted lasso meta #jamie tartt #jamie is such an interesting charchter #sam obisanya #roy kent #james tartt sr #is and absolute ahole #jamie was incredibly jealous of sam #you cannot convince me otherwise #Jamie dealt with his jealously with anger #i do think season 1 Jamie felt empty even though he thought everything was going his way #i want to hug him #but also scold him for his actions #he really just neede proper guidance #not thay he would let anyone help at that stage #i also think his disappointment at his relationship with his idol roy was real #boy dreamed of being like Roy Kent only to find Roy Kent hates him #ouch #royjaime #because this 100% ends there to me

[cerise-on-top]

Hii!! :3

First of all, LOVE YOUR BLOG!!Your writing is so good!! May I request Rodolfo Parra x reader who is touchy? Like, they won’t if he doesn’t like it, but it’s a safety thing, like him being taller than me (even not by much) makes me secure, feeling his arm muscles to know he can protect me, holding his hand until he pulls away.

thank you!! :3

I don't think you understand the extent to which my Rodolfo is touch starved, he really wants a hug, and the ones that Alejandro give him don't really cut it, at all! Mans wants to be hugged and cuddled, so this is sort of just ideal to him!

Rodolfo with a Touchy!Reader

In all honesty, he’s hit the jackpot with you if you’re a touchy person. While he may not initiate too much physical touch himself in fear of coming off as clingy and annoying, he’s actually so touch starved, it’s unreal. If there weren’t some mental barriers there, then he’d absolutely love to touch and cuddle you whenever he could. Would love to kiss you, would love to hold you. He’s one of the biggest cuddlebugs on the planet in theory, but in practice he’s holding himself back due to the aforementioned reasons. However, he has no qualms whatsoever if you’re the one touching him, in fact, he’ll revel in it for as long as he can, or until you pull away. He gets a bit sad when you do, but he knows you’ve got better things to do as well from time to time.

Please do hold onto his arm when you’re walking somewhere, it makes him feel like the stronger guy out of the two of you. He just wants to make sure you feel safe and sound with him, and if he can accomplish just that? Heaven on earth, literally. Hold his hand, he’ll squeeze it every once in a while to make sure you know he’s still with you. You can even give him a hug in public where everyone can see you, he’ll shield you with his entire body and make sure to catch every single bullet that could come flying at you. While he’s not too big of a fan of kissing in public, thinking such a thing should be reserved for when the two of you are alone, he loves feeling your lips on him just about anywhere. Wanna kiss his cheek? His forehead? His lips? He’ll give you twice as many kisses back.

From time to time he might get a bit overwhelmed with all the affection, that’s when you might want to tone it down a bit. When he’s just downright pissed at someone or something, he’s less prone to being cuddly, but he’ll calm down eventually. Distract him, help him, give him some loving words, and he’ll be back to his usual self. Once he’s calmed down he might be a bit tired from all those emotions, so he might want some cuddles. Likely won’t ask for them, but he knows you’re always eager to cuddle him anyway.

While he does love holding something, or someone, when relaxing, nothing, to him, feels better than being held. That’s his guilty pleasure, being the little spoon, but you won’t catch him dead admitting that. In fact, he won’t even hint at wanting to be such, but he would absolutely never turn you down when you offer. Feeling your warmth against his back is nice, doesn’t matter if you can wrap yourself around him entirely or if you’re a backpack, he just wants to feel protected for once too. However, if something ever were to happen, then he’s the first to jump into action and beat the living daylights out of anyone who dares to intrude on such a sacred moment.

Hell, you can even put your head in his lap. He’ll lovingly stroke your back or your head, looking completely lovestruck at you. It’s a major sign of trust for him, especially when you’re slowly dozing off. Won’t move an inch if you do and will just continue to pat your hair, staring at you instead of the tv monitor. If you want, you can also adjust him so his head is in your lap instead, he would never say no to that either. In fact, if he’s comfortable enough, he might nuzzle into your hand, realize what he’s doing and get a bit embarrassed. He usually feels the need to be the big, strong man in your relationship, that he really shouldn’t be showing so much weakness, but how could he resist your tender, gentle touch when it’s right there? Showing you a glimpse of how touch starved he is is just about one of the most mortifying things out there, but he can’t help it. It simply feels so good.

He absolutely adores the fact he can make you feel safe. Again, he won’t really initiate much physical contact himself, but he will stand fairly close to you so you may, if you feel like it, just grab his hand and swing it around a bit as you’re walking around. You can lean into him, there’s a chance he might wrap an arm around you to make sure you won’t fall over. He loves that he can be your support system in a way that makes him happy as well. You get to touch him, he gets to be touched, it’s the most perfect symbiotic relationship out there.

At the end of the day, you both get to feel safe and sound with one another, because of your presence and because of your love. You protect each other and make sure the other is thriving, what thing in this world could possibly be more pure than that?

#cod #cod x reader #rodolfo parra #rodolfo parra x reader #I think I need Rodolfo to be real right about now #He has the cutest name I've ever heard and I want to give him a hug despite not being a touchy person myself #I would make him a marble cake and give it to him while it's still warm mans has been through way more than he should #Alejandro already appreciates this man to hell and back but more love definitely wouldn't hurt #I just really love the idea of Alejandro and Rodolfo being very very close #supporting each other as well as they could #and Alejandro would be so happy to see Rodolfo have an s/o who takes good care of him and makes sure he's thriving #he'd strive to be among their best friends instantly because he cares this deeply about Rodolfo #they both just want to see him smile and it's one of the purest things since Rodolfo is usually so stressed out. he deserves a break #los vaqueros are good I think I can appreciate the more ever since I started writing. I did not care this deeply for them while watching mw #wish they were real so I could befriend them hm #oh well thank you for the request! I'm always down for cute and fluffy stuff like that so this is a real treat!

[throttlegainwell]

Have I mentioned how much it haunts me that that guy calls Will "Lonnie's boy" when Lonnie has been gone for four years, has a shitty reputation, and the town obviously has at least some awareness of what went on in that house (though zero compassion for it)? MEANWHILE Joyce has been there all along working her ass off and as involved in Will's life as she's able to be (which, granted, isn't as much as she'd like, but is obviously way more than Lonnie ever was). It's Joyce in Hawkins, distraught and losing her mind with worry and desperate to find him. They probably see Joyce reasonably frequently, when they pop into Melvald's or when she goes on an errand; they probably haven't seen Lonnie in years.

But that's Lonnie's boy.

#and i get why he's well-received at the funeral #even by characters who probably have more awareness of the damage he did to his family #like karen #what's she gonna do--not hug this guy who just lost a child? #she knows how terrible he was for his family even if she doesn't have details #(though i think she knew more than most) #but she has children and just saw one of her worst nightmares come to pass #of course she hugs him she's compassionate #i've snuck it into fics and i'll probably sneak it in again #because it really bugs me that much #tbh i didn't get the impression that hawkins thinks that badly of lonnie #like steve's parents probably talk shit but they're probably talking shit about everyone #like i get it that's just some dude and he probably doesn't really know joyce & maybe he's just got a very patriarchal way of looking at it #but lonnie didn't want will and joyce does #lonnie wasn't there and joyce IS #like let's be real even when lonnie was there will was never lonnie's boy #jonathan maybe but that's another distressing subject to ponder another time

[softpine]

we’re gamin

#i put them in softerhaze's bungalows for maximum nostalgia #and of course danny and mikaela's first kiss happens in the middle of the night outside her bedroom door <3333 #beth is currently useless right now because she's experiencing burnout and she also twisted her ankle. she's really going through it #baby asa is literally the stinkiest baby on earth !!! he has the gassy AND hiccupy quirks and he's constantly blowing up his diaper fjksdjs #then caroline gets stinky just holding him so the whole house is like one big green cloud of stink #so anyway that's why i gave him a permanent snot bubble lmao #casper is so slow at learning new skills honestly real 😭 he doesn't want to learn he just wants to hug his mama #i'm having so much fun !!!!!!! #growing together gameplay

[tigergendermoved]

Remembering the toxic hellscape that was 2015-2019ish SU fandom and just how much hate the show got is really insane when you rewatch the show after it's been a while. Like the show is good what the hell were any of these people talking about

#do NOT quote me on those numbers i pulled them straight out of my ass #like the ending was rushed and the diamonds didnt get to be fully developed but liek #the whole reason that was the case is there was an entire 6th season planned #and then the show got axed early because rebecca sugar and crew refused the back down on the rupphire wedding. #and even rushedness aside like the point of the show was never that you should hug fascists and forgive people no matter what #the diamond were rose's (and his) dysfunctional family whose personal suffering became the basis for the cruelty of gem society #bismuth in The Real World would have been right to want to kill the diamonds as a force of revolution #but the point of the show is that even the most complicated people are still people who can change. even if you dont forgive them #even steven quartz universe the most loving boy in the world very obviously does not like being around the diamonds. but that is how it is #it was a children's show that emphasized compassion and communication and family as themes. of course steven didnt kill the diamonds lol #i really fully believe the stevenbomb format (which was not the crew's choice or fault) cooked peoples' brains #you had months between major arcs so every wrongdoing by a character had months to be warped and misinterpreted and so no resolution could #ever satisfy fans who were festering with their own opinions for way too long #like these arcs looking back are not that long and they resolve in fairly reasonable manners but they took fuckin forever in real time to #wrap up #and ppl on the internet with no other hobbies than arguing made the fandom suck to be in and gave su a bad name #even if you dont like steven universe i think the amount of vitriol thrown at the show is/was fucking INSANE for what it is lmaooo #people were so so jolly to accuse rebecca sugar (a jewish lady) of being a fascist/fash sympathizer and paint every writing shortcoming or #morally dubious character action as a sign of pure fuckin evil #ok that was a long ass fuckin rant in the tags i am so sorry i'm just kind of opinionated on this matter as i am all matters #i've been rewatching su with my dad lately and this very normal and well paced and fun watchthrough experience has been illuminating #just how insane and uncalled for the hellish discourse sphere around su was/is #i say was/is i have no idea what su discourse is like nowadays. i'm too scareds to look in the su crit tag

[crownrots]

#oc txt. #c: hattie #c: mary ellen #hattie being able to make it back to her own vault just in time to be with her mom in her final moments is 🤕 #she’s not the overconfident self assured put together person she was when she left however long ago it was #and her mother isn’t the hyper independent stoic emotionally constipated woman that didn’t even hug her before she left #her mother really did believe that this colony that had supposedly been growing since she was a girl WAS her kids’ only hope at a future #they knew for years that the vault was running out of supplies and falling apart #she was getting older and really didn’t think a future above ground was for her or her husband or the other adults that had grown up there #it was for their kids. #bc the vault wasn’t going to be able to sustain them for much longer #it’s why she pushed her kids so hard and pushed them away even harder #bc it made sending them into that world ‘easier’ #she wouldn’t miss them as much and they wouldn’t miss her #sending her twins up there (her first borns) years prior was HELL #and she dreaded the day hattie was old enough to be thrust out there and even debated whether or not she’d even go through with it #so seeing her now … especially in the state hattie is in when she returns #she feels guilty but at the same time proud? because despite it she knows hattie had and HAS what it takes to survive up there #and seeing tj??? she doesn’t know if the twins made it to the colony or whether the colony was even real operating ect ect #so she’d never get to see them with her grandkids if they had any #she at least gets a slice of what could have been if things were different #it’s good that hattie gets to tell her truth of everything #it’s good that hattie gets to reconcile and be the last thing she sees before she passes #it’s all mary ellen ever wanted … to see her girls again #and in her mind if hattie made it … then she knows the other two did too #and i think for hattie she was just on the cusp of giving up and throwing in the towel #but she’s got people relying on her and she’s not a quitter … was never allowed to be #and i think by now she’d be searching for them less for herself and more for her parents #the least she can do is find out if their sacrifices (and the sacrifices of everyone else) were warranted

[pankomako]

i'd say "oh his channel is as old as my brother is" but that's just always gonna be true. but it IS now older than i was when i first started watching

#failboat #yknow i may not draw him the most realistically but i REALLY feel like i capture his energy so well. idk #like the expressions are just real. barely an exaggeration at all #anyway. personally? i wouldnt say he's fat. like yeah he may have a gut but so do i and ive NEVER been called fat so like #either way i like him with a gut. IN CASE YOU COULDNT TELL. just more to hug yk? makes him even more of a soft n friendly guy #yknow- yknow maybe he should ask MY MOM if he's so concerned. i mean she told me back in like 2020 he looked fat LOL #i still cant believe she said that about him. among other things #like 'is he married yet? he's getting old-' i- why do you care?? do you want ME to marry him?? because frankly- *gets hit by an 18-wheeler

[surrealsunset]

the sun always shines on TV

#hello charlotte #vent art #charlotte wiltshire #q84 #charlotte q84 #basically. this song is like. a microcosm of. what hello charlotte is to me #the music video especially gets the point across really well #it’s like i just don’t fucking know what’s real or not #i love so blindly with no direction but i do love and that’s what confuses and scares me #i have these…. masks. that’s all this is is masks. masking. performance #it is real. but it is also fake. and it’s so hard. it’s so fucking hard wearing a mask all the time #because i can’t take it off. i can’t. that’s why i love q84 so profoundly #the mask took over her fucking life. she has no idea who she is anymore #she was never someone who hurt people and now she is and she is FUUUCKED UP about it #but she’s too isolated and alone and unwilling to listen and proud to stop the hurt or the doomspiral or any of it #i feel like that. this gets at a profound generational scream of agony i feel from everyone around me #we’re just scared. we’re all scared. we are all mourning the loss of our sanity and begging for answers and nothing is working #something. idk #i’ve been thinking about this a lot clearly gkshf #it’s just… i just. i want a hug. i just want to hug a lot. that’s all. i think all we fucking want is a fucking hug. for god’s sKe

[redpanther23]

Seasonal depression is really whipping my ass right now. If I don' t get to see a tree with some fucking flowers on it or a baby bunny or something I swear to god I will fucking kill myself

#i keep having really nice dreams #and then i wake up in real life again #I just want a hug and to be able to take my psyche meds is that so much to ask

[wowifinallywatched]

Wow I Finally Watched Sunshine

What happens when you put Cillian Murphy and Chris Evans in close confinement on their way to send a bomb into the sun?

Did I mention the incredible Michelle Yeoh and Benedict Wong are apart of these space shenanigans?

Have I gotten your attention of this very underrated movie yet?

Sunshine came out in 2007 and I had never once heard or seen anything of this movie until a few days ago, While I was innocently scrolling through Disney+, This movie appeared.

Now, Being a huge fan of Chris Evans for many years and recently diving into the work of Cillian Murphy, I was already hooked.

But then you tell me this is a Sc-fi Psychological Thriller set in space?

NOW I REALLY AM HOOKED.

But this isn't just a 'For the scares and spooks' of space travel that film often portrays, This is a film ahead of it's time. A story that could be told in any year, Because this will always be relevant.

This movie makes you think.

What is beyond the stars? What would you do in these humanity-testing scenarios? What would you do when you've come face to face with not only the surface of the sun, but also your own heart?

A movie that questions your own humanity, A movie that has made you feel something so real that it makes your chest feel tight as if you're in that scenario, As if you're apart of a team with these people by your side day in and day out - That is a job well done.

While this movie did take a little bit to get into, it builds the suspence of what's really going on here. But everytime you think you'll look away, you reach for your phone - The movie does something that makes you need to rewind and go "Did they really just say that?"

And when you reach that moment.

There's no going back.

This movie was so incredibly different than anything I've experience for a while and As a thorough enjoyer of the Sci-fi genre in all different forms, This was a truly pleasant surprise.

***Please be cautious minor spoilers in the tags***

***Please read the content warnings of this movie before watching, it can depict scenes that may trigger some individuals***

#I felt like this movie was going to get rated poorly for some reason but it's actually pretty good and it makes me really happy??? #I JUST REALISED THIS MOVIE HAS CILLIAN MURPHY AS THE ONLY SCIENTIST WHO CAN PILOT THE NUCLEAR FISSION BOMB HAHAH #DID THEY CALL THAT OR WHAT #HOLY SHIT #HEY I'M HERE FOR IT YOU WON'T HEAR ME COMPLAINING #Chris you were an absolute hard ass but I love you for it #Cillian you are a baby boy and we love you #Benedict you precious bean I just wanted to give you a hug #Cliff you were kinda hot I will not lie NO WAIT ALSO LITERALLY HAHAH #Michelle you're perfect and I love you so much #Rose I just wanted to give you a lil kiss on the forehead and tell you everything's gonna be okay #Hiroyuki you're also extremely hot #I'm not sorry #No I am he was beautiful #HARVEY FUCK YOU #ALSO I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE FACT THAT THEY CALLED THEIR A.I ICARUS THIS WAS THE BEST THING EVER #Also I'm so sorry Capa but you tripping over in that crucial moment made me absolutely lose my shit with laughter #okay onto the real tags #sunshine #sunshine 2007 #robert capa #cillian murphy #michelle yeoh #corazon #rose byrne #cassie #chris evans #chris evans sunshine #cillian murphy sunshine #benedict wong

[felizusnavidad]

if you log out of this hellsite i do not blame you bc it does suck here but i will very much miss your presence 😢♥️

omg thank you so much! 🥺

yes, it really sucks to be here right now... i literally had to unfollow 100+ swifties to clear my dash cause i was sick of seeing people who are defending all her actions & shitting on joe alwyn for no reason. still, i don't even have the energy to scroll tumblr so all i do is check my messages from time to time. i definitely need a break, but seeing things like that in my inbox makes me want to think it through once again. ❤️

#it would be easier if this hellsite wasn't full of swifties #and i'm not saying all of them are like that but damn this is the worst fandom ever for real #i may consider staying here but i definitely need a couple more days #i wasn't really posting about taylor for a long time anyway #just some random posts once in a while but #it all sucks anyway cause she was the one who brought me here #and i don't even like her at the moment soooo #i also feel conflicted cause i am still excited to hear the new album but on the other hand #there will be no joe alwyn slander not on my watch #so i don't even know if i want to hear the new songs #it all sucks. #thank you for this message tho #it makes me so happy to see that i'm not the only person who feels this way these days #sending you the biggest hug 🫂 #i saved every letter you wrote me*

[quicklyandrogynousfox-blog]

(x)

#aww cute! #2023 #iac #sort of #i just rewatched the moment sam and pete met in the jungle and it struck me how tender it was #(tbh i was worse then usual at paying attention that evening) #i really want to know how ant and dec reacted when they first saw the vt #did they just glance at each other with tears in their eyes a smile on their lips wordless understanding between them? did they hug? #also they really had to go over the top intense in that link because #as challenge-ant has said before #it would have been too real if they'd done it tenderly #🥺🥺🥺

[muzzleroars]

I recently saw that Dreams end come true Artpiece you drew and considering the sorta father&son/Mentor and Student dynamic that Luci&Mike have very much fit into a scene from a Show called the midnight Gospel, especially the "You cry" scene

https://youtu.be/rLvUztp7Iog?si=2k0f4psIlkU9ILfQ

Heads up it's a very heavy Video and Shows the MC coping with the innevitable fact of a loved one who will die and has come to terms with it

oh this is very lovely anon....a little read more to explain some heavy feelings, with mentions of terminal illness and death

i'm glad to see that something like this can come through in the character-building that i do, because i base my ideas around working through a lot of what i have been through. illness is kind of a big through line for me, and while i normally don't talk a whole lot about my personal life/specifics of what i'm dealing with, i know what it's like to live through this scene. i lost my mom to cancer, and i now live with a chronic illness that's changed a lot about how i can live/what i'm able to do. i think it's part of the reason why i always want a happy ending (other than being a sap lol) - life doesn't often get to go that way, people who are sick often leave after going through months or years of suffering, and all that's left is emptiness where they used to be. i did consider having lucifer go in that direction, having him slowly lose his strength once he was disconnected from hell until he left only ash behind, but i'm a softie who wants those miracles, to let lucifer live and let his "kids" reconnect with him, even if he's not who he once was. it lets me explore much more, it gives the characters happiness myself and so many others don't get, but i also don't want people just cured or all better. living with trauma and chronic illness is important to me too, to show that there can be healing and people can love you so much as you are now, even if you've been changed or if you can't do everything you once did. mike and lucifer are probably the biggest examples of this, and their characters carry a lot of my own personal baggage though i tend not to think of it that way - they are themselves, shaped from characters of mythology in coming from a catholic background, pieces of myself and whatever the heck im working through, and just growing into themselves and how i see their voice.

for the dect piece, i thought of what would happen had lucifer died, what he could think and what mike would if they saw each other one last time. mike is so burdened, he has let this devour him and yet he couldn't grieve, but lucifer greets him with an extended hand. he is always there for him, no matter the mistakes or the regrets. he loves him unconditionally, and he doesn't believe mike should be alone in this moment. mike can't remember that love, a love that comes without strings attached or that can be withdrawn, yet it is so simply given that he remembers why he loved lucifer in return. and that's just the thing i guess. i want a world where the love doesn't have to end, where people can always find each other again and if they wish to reconnect, they always will. this isn't how everyone grieves and i absolutely find value in all the different ways people find solace through their work, but that's just my lil two cents.

#sorry this is so much more personal than usual!! #but i understand this scene is from real life pain #and i wanted to connect with it on that level. bc i really know what it feels like #i also just thought it would be good to explain why i do some of the things i do #beautiful scene...she was so right #reminder to cry if you need it. nothing wrong with it no matter who you are #but if you can't. that's ok and normal too #hugging u all.....wahh #cake answers

[cyb3rtron]

i miss nanami :(

#missing nanami hours #i miss him so much #i really do #he isn’t real but he’s real in my heart #i just want to hug him #nanami kento #the man that you are #he’s occupying my entire brain today #im supposed to be studying #but nanami’s more important