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cold-arrow · 1 year

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Doctor's Notes, Book 5 part 12

| assault and pursuit |

Summary, things of note since last entry:

The fire giant attack, rushing to the gates, escape with Maegera rest and recuperate, resupply. leave sooner rather then later. But a meeting with the king shall be had. sending a champion

from horse back, to skyship, towards mirrorbar. Klauth Sir Angelo. a substantial invitation. the cloud giant castle accomadation, revalation and information, or lack there off. Sansuri, the library. ( defenestration ) descent, and the journey to mirrorbar. with our arrival at the airship.

| 1 / 8 | They got way. They assaulted the city. infiltrated it. And just took Maegera and left before anybody could really do anything about it. By the time we arrived at the city gates, the last fire giant had just left. (one that was covered from head to toe in black armour, carrying two ginormous spiked shields.) He’d been blocking the entrance, allowing the other giants to safely retreat and escape, while massacring any of other dwarves and guards there were in his way. Omrick still seems to be alive though, along with his friend. The both of them bruised and beaten, a bit scorched as well. But alive. Not every dwarf was so lucky though. but we weren’t even really in time to provide care, and healing to those who needed it. Lym and I tried to assist the best we could, but most of them were already taken care of by the time we arrived. I’m… not sure what we do now. I feel like we should give chase. But that seems both equally stupid, as possibly the best option we have. Even if we did manage to catchup with them though, Stealing from a whole army of fire giants, doesn’t seem / sound like the easiest task I have ever heard of.// more like the most lethal one. Possible, perhaps. But a lot more dangerous and difficult, than it might be worth the gamble, im afraid. ( terrified of the prospect actually) … best thing we could think of to do, was the rest up, recuperate and make preparations to set out. Omrick really needs to rest up, and regain his energy a bit, before we can head out. And we could very much use some more rations. Espiaclly me. Im kind of done with the place as well. Perhaps I was nagging a bit too much about leaving, but I didn’t see much reason to stay here. Especially with the fire giants now holding the key, to finishing the Vonindod. And the longer they have it, in their possession. The worse. the others were willing to be patient though. See if we could maybe be recruited or enlisted by the king to retrieve their primordial titan. And Omrick was very much keen on gaining an audience, to try and convince the king and his court that we could help. Though I do not fully understand why. I’d willing to tolerate another meeting though. despite it probably leading to just more strain on my mental. If there’s something good that can come out of it, than Ill trust the others. Omrick… has been refused to even enter throne room, like twice already though. which isn’t a good sign. I guess we’ll see if we actually have another meeting, before we finally decide to head out. Lym and I did some shopping. Separately I mean. She went out to explore the city a bit. And I had -- a bit of inspiration to perhaps make her something, to repay her. So I headed out into city as well a bit later that day. I managed to find and precure all the things I needed. And paid my two tourmaline gemstones in return for it. But… it’s a lot harder to shop and purchase things, if you cant actually speak The language. Atleast I could understand them, which definitely made things easier, thanks to the helmet. but in hindsight, they might have overcharged me, and taken advantage of my “situation”. And being an outsider, and the only human in this place, didn’t help either. At least I found the stuff I was looking for.

| 2 / 8 | After being denied an audience / entrance to the king and his court Again. Omrick was pretty much ready to give up, and leave. His final idea was for either Baras or Lym to maybe directly Send the king a message. And to my surprise, it actually worked. Once Lym, mentioned to the king, that we might be able to retrieve Maegera. He was more then willing to immediately schedule an appointment, and arrange a meeting with us. Also I’m surprised that Lym was even willing to Send the king a message in the first place. Or that the king was willing to listen to her. – Or actually let her Enter the throne room for that matter. Going so far as to even compliment her, on her magical capabilities. Though… assuming that she was a mage, instead of cleric. Even though she literally mentioned it the first time , when we arrived. the king and his advisors seemed a lot more amicable this time though, “for some reason”. Actually acknowledging Lym and the rest of us for once. Seems like ue offering to retrieve Maegera, made them have a change of heart. Hah... But, we got some more info atleast. A bit more context on what had happened during the assault, and where Maegera actually came from in the first place. it seems like the assault by the front gates, was jus a distraction. Which shouldn’t really be a surprise now that I think a bout it. What was surprising however, was that they Somehow managed to gain entrance To Maegera’s fiery pit. Without anybody noticing. And not even their seers were able to figure out how exactly they managed to accomplish such an unimaginable feat. Unable to see who, or how… or from where they even entered from. The theory is that they used the caverns from the Underdark ( even further below the city,) while the guards where either distracted, or redirected to the front gates. Leaving those tunnels and caves more vulnerable. What also was revealed to us, was that the dwarves had originally been the ones that had stolen Maegera from the Fire giants. She hadn’t always been down there below Gauntilgrymm. But taken from the giants, when they first began their construction of the Vonindod centuries ago… No wonder they wanted her back. Also, the tool they used then, and the same tool that the fire giants had probably used now to capture and bind her, was an iron flask. “ The Iron Flask ”, to be specific. An artifact rumoured to be able to capture and contain, Any creature in existence. And is both incredibly rare and or difficult to find. Let alone make. we asked if they still had one. And upon inquiring they informed us, or asked us, if we could actually take some of their men along. To let them join us on our assault or infiltration or whatever… At the very least, among those man would be Omrick’s good friend and opponent, The champion. And He would be taking the Ironflask along with him. -- I really hope none of the kings men fuck up our infiltration. I… don’t trust them to be capable enough to not get in our way. Well… considering their resources and impressive craftmanship. If they were to be equipped with mithril armour, they might not actually be that useless. Or, could at the very least serve as a distraction. so things could be worse I suppose.

| 3 / 8 | it appears that only One of the king’s men will be joining us on our journey, towards The Forge of the fire giants. Omrick’s opponent, and possibly self-proclaimed Champion of Gauntylgrimm. Has… introduced himself as Sir Angelo.

Actually talking to him is a… rollercoaster a mix of emotions. From overbearing to bemusing. He is a naïve, and simple man. Seemingly kind and loyal to those he values. I think Himbo, is the correct term? Which should be self-explanatory as to his nature. it’s certainly going to be interesting having him around. But at least he seems like a capable fighter. Not sure whether find his optimism irritating, or inspiring though. it appears that Sir Angelo, or any of his people have ever heard of horses… I guess they don’t really have need for them down there. But it might make travel a bit more difficult. Despite his claims of easily being able to keep up, and us not having to worry. I don’t think he fully grasps how fast a horse is. *I… was proven wrong. The bastard is surprisingly fast, and able to keep up with us without even breaking a sweat. The fuck is this guy made of !? … it was a bit of a discussion as to what the best way would be, to reach the Ironslag forge, near the Icespires. northwest of Sundabar. we considered teleporting there as close as possible. Or just simply going there by horse back. But the fastest route would most likely still be by skyship. And maybe we can bring the horses along? But im not really sure as to how good of an idea that would be. To notify the ship or our approach, Lym had just Send a message to her brother. But she didn’t really get the kind of answer or response she was hoping for. Even though there wouldn’t be any issues with preparing the ship, we could immediately tell from her that something wasn’t right… It seems that her brother, and the rest of the crew as well, are in a bit of trouble. The whole “revolution and rebellion” thing, against Klauth, ( the draconic entity that rules over them,) seems to have finally had repercussions, that caught up with them. All of them are now wearing the strange, personality suppressing damned scarfs again. And they might no longer be able to take them off. Whether literally or figuratively, I don’t really know. Lym isn’t happy about it though, to say the least... I think she was hoping that all of that was finally done with, and it would hopefully no longer be an issue. -- I guess we’ll just have to see what the situation is, once we arrive at Mirrorbar. For that’s where we’ll be meeting them.

| 4 / 8 | if I remember correctly, the instructions or prophecy we got at the temple of the Allfather, were something along the lines of: "Travel east, o'er mountains and snow, to distant spires. There, on a cold mountainside, you'll find a village of yak folk and below that, Ironslag-the forge of the fire giant duke. The conch you seek is in his quarters." which should hopefully at least give us a general idea, of what to look for once we reach the Icespires. …. speaking of giants … I did not expect. To be invited. Onto the cloud top fortress, of Sansuri, Lord of the Cloud Gaints herself… When a massive floating castle, on top of the largest and densest cluster of clouds id even seen, send down the longest and highest staircase id ever seen, ( once again, made of clouds,) I wasn’t real sure whether to be honoured, or Absolutely terrified. Unsure as to whether I should even entertain the idea of going up there. Or the possible consequences, should I we refuse this invitation. The others seemed a little less hesitant. With Baras and lym already walking towards the staircase. (and Lym also trying to bring her horse along -- without much success ( It being a magical staircase or something.) But Sir Angelo, had already stormed ahead and gone up. Hoping to challenge the cloud giants to a “honourable fight”. With Omrick desperately trying to stop and keep up with him. After we tied up the horses, I hesitantly followed suit behind the others. Being the last one to ascend and start climbing the staircase. Constantly / nervously glancing back towards the ground below. Which didn’t really help with my fear or nervousness. … of everything that I expected Gauntelgrymm to be, the cloud giant fortress and castle, was so much more. the amount of detailing. The precious-metal filigrees, and these beautifully cut giant gemstones, set in pretty much all of the walls and surfaces. Its wasnt even a display of ostentatiousness or something. Just a sheer demonstration of power and wealth. The architecture of this castle was like on a whole nother level as well. its… breathtaking. I don’t think gauntelgrymm even compares. (I might have said that out loud though, and should maybe apologize to sir Angelo, for slandering his city.) But even he seemed impressed. As well as vigilant, … keeping an eye out for any giants to challenge. Which we were desperately trying to convince him otherwise of. That it would be a very bad idea, especially considering the invitation that was extened to us. And the vastly powerful and intelligent nature, that they are rumoured to possess.

| 5 / 8 | we entered the court yard, and were greeted by four Aarakocra. Or four twins or quadruplets? Judy, silently standing there as they kept watch over the space. And this giant ornate seat. We didn’t think much of them and mostly kept our distance, until both me and Baras realized they were – Exact – copies of each other. Four… Simulacrum. The artificer’s and all wizards wet dream. Imagine the possibilities if I had four exact copies of myself. Or four copies of Baras. (maybe not Lym or Omrick though) But the possibilities would be endless. And if that alone wasn’t already an indication of their power and might, than I don’t know what else. ( Up to that point at least.) * ( they seemed to be guarding something, a circle of sorts. But I was a bit too afraid to approach or inspect. I am curious however ) after looking around a bit in awe of the castle. We were eventually greeted by a Cloud giant. None of the Aarakocra had really talked or said much. So it was a bit of surprise when a voice suddenly spoke up, on the other side of the courtyard.Thankfully, the giant seemed friendly. Well… more that then actually. Polite. Considerate and accommodating. Inviting us to join him, while we were to wait for the Giant Lord, Sansuri, to come and greet us. Showing us to a room where we could wait, and eat and recover from our climb-up and journey thusfar. ( which was a bit strange, the last part.) But he was kind enough to provide us with the food and drink as we waited, in a giant guest room. with a even a humanoid sized table, setup on top of a giant one. the food and menu, were extraordinary. And he even gave me a giant cup of exquisite wine. Which I was more than happy to partake in to try and calm my nervous a bit. Sir Angelo still seemed set on challenging one of the giants, and when our host asked us if we needed anything else. He inquired as to whether he could request to challenge their most formidable warrior. They “unfortunately “ to seemed to be not present at the moment, but they might return later. which he thankfully settled for. After returning with a exotic array of food that Lym had requested, which… I don’t really want to go into to much detail with. the… discussion of eating a sentient creature was a bit unsettling to say the least. I mean… mushrooms or myconoids area already a grey area. But still… perhaps its just inferal customs, or culture?? But they even had a variety of arcane stones, infused with the schools of magic, for Baras. While wating, until we were to have our audience with the Duchess Sansuri. (or Lord as he apparently prefers. ) Baras mentioned to he’d found and used stones like these before. Which piqued the curiosity of our giant host. And after further inquiry, he revealed that the lords of Noanor’s Hold, were in possession of some as well. He seemed a bit too interested though, which I found a bit concerning. And said that he might pay a visit sometime soon, to perhaps collect them. I swallowed nerves and requested if he could perhaps leave the Transmutation stone for me though. If the did actually went to collect the arcane stones there. For I was still very much interested in that one myself. And have been meaning to go back there for it. But… I didn’t really get a clear answer or response that… heh…

| 6 / 8 | after a bit of small talk, our host left take care of some stuff. So we simply waited, until we received notice that Lord Sansuri would be ready to receive us. Which took a while, but we were able to entertain ourselves without too much trouble. And our host eventually returned to retrieve us, and guide us to her throne. Which… was in fact the one we’d spotted in the courtyard earilier, when we first entered. ( she had probably came from the magical circle or elevator that the simulacrum guarding earlier, I think? ) but the tales, and myths, and legends about her… do not do her justice. For the large imposing figure, that stared down at down us, with these sharp and calculating eyes. – It most definitely set me on edge. Her gaze sending shivers down my spine, with the way she regarded us. Polite, and well-mannered and regal. But with a cold calculation, that was most apparent when she talked and addressed us. -- She ( or someone,) had apparently mistaken us for another group however. Having gotten us confused with another party, (?) preoccupied and dedicated to restoring the shattered Ordering… Which was… a bit rude? And disappointing / disheartening. However, after the misunderstanding was cleared up, they did reveal that they were nevertheless aware of who we were. Of EXACTLY who we were…. knowing details about us, and our group as a whole, that even we were unaware of… like that the cult of Bane, and The Kraken that were chasing us, in fact actually one and the same, or something? Serving either same entity. Or atleast thinking that they do. ? About my haunted and possessed nature. Even more so then me. About lym’s brother, and family. Omrick;s family. And a lot more about Baras, then they initially revealed as well. It… definitely put some things into perspective though. Especially as to perceptiveness and pretty much all knowing nature of the Cloud giants, and Sansuri herself… Knowing pretty everything, about every group and people of note. Their all knowing nature, and honestly arrogance in that regard, surprised me as well, when they revealed that they did in fact, want to be ones on top, and the ones in charge, as the new rules of The Ordening. Even despite their passive and distant nature. Simply observing and documenting everything they see and find. But they intent on using that knowledge, to rule over everything. Over the giants, with calculation. And with judgment and prediction. Which honestly… sounds kind of terrifying. For I don’t know whether that would be better or worse. probably worse. I imagine --

Eitherway, we tried to ask some questions about some of the details about our quest. About our problems and the possible obstacles on the path ahead. But she was unwilling to share or spoil any answers, or of the info and knowledge, for it would “mess with our Destiny and Fate,” It would interfere with things or something, which they wouldn’t or couldn’t allow. Unsurprisingly, when we inquired if we could have The Conch that she possessed. She ofcourse said no. That “If we were meant to have, and be in possession of it. We would. And that we could perhaps try in the future, once we have the others. But even then we wouldn’t really have need for it, so she didn’t see that point. And was unwilling to simply hand it to us and part with it. I should also mention, that in return for what little information she did share, We ( or Baras specifically ) was “asked” to share our story with her. Tell us about ourselves. And to tell her Everything. like… all of it. Our story, how we met, what things have happened and what our plans our. Everything. Probably, so they could document things, and have some more context. And to better record our part in the story, as whole. Thankfully he left out some of the more personal details. But that also included who it is, that he serves. Which they were pretty incessant, and relentless about. with their questions. After all that, once she was satisfied, we were to continue on our journey, and go deal with the Fire Giants. Though before that, we were allowed a tour of her castle however. and have a peak at their incredible library. the tour itself, revealed a bit more of the gruesome part of their nature. Their cold and uncaring stance, when it come to collecting and gathering knowledge and information. All kinds of strange beasts, slain and mounted on their walls. Treasures and artifacts stolen. Ones that were either simple or unassuming. Or valuable in either sense. And important. The Aarakocra that we saw below, being among those wall-mounted trophies. And somewhere in the distance, in another part of the fortress, the agonizing roars of a dragon could be heard. Unsettling and horrifying as if in pain. When… we inquired about the nature of those roars, and if they had managed to capture a dragon or something. Wo which uur host simply replied that, “They were extracting important and valuable information from the dragon. Who wasn’t willing, to willingly part with it. So they had to resort to other… methods… And that it would probably be for the best if we didn’t inquire any further. for our own sake. a bit worried about Zyra, we atleast asked what kind of dragon it was, that they had captive here. And… it was in fact a bronze one/ Like our friend. It… was an older one then Zyra, much to Lym’s relieve. (I hope But just to be sure, she did Send her a message I think. Also I learned a new word today. It seems that the previous individual that visited the castle, A bard I think, was “defenestrated” which apparently means… “to be thrown out of a window.” At great hight. I uuuh, I doubt he survived. But the instrument he carried, is on display in one of the halls…

| 7 / 8 | The libaray was rather impressive. However we weren’t really able to look at many of the books. For they were of course giant sized. I tried to look for a book of ghosts and exorcisms, to perhaps help with my… issue. Because they mention knowing a lot about the nature of my situation and all then I did. But, I wasn’t really able to find anything, at all, in the time that we were given. And its not like I could even read any the languages that most of them were written in. including giant. which didn’t make things easier. I think Baras found a book he was looking for though. And even thought about a borrowing it. or purchasing one. It was a bit on the expensive side however. Very much ornate and… large. So he decided against it. But I spend most of time just processing things. Oh! It also seems that Bara’s master, and Sansuri or acquaintances, apparently. Which kind makes sense I suppose. Considering the both of them are powerful entities in pursuit of knowledge. So after he’d Send Dave a message to update him on things, he was to inform Sunsari the she’d be welcome to visit the mansion sometime soon. to catch up a bit, hopefully before the end of the month. ( That sure seems like one hell of meeting. I … nvm ) I was also somewhat tempted, to maybe try and attempt to steal the conch. Once we’d finally been left alone. If I recall correctly, it lies within the highest tower of the castle. And earlier, I inquired with our guide when he led us to the library, that if we Were to successfully steal the conch from the towers above, wouldn’t that mean it was destiny for us to have it anyway. He confirmed as much. And said that IF we were successful, then that indeed would be correct. Even if Sansuri said, that simply giving it to us, would interfere with our path or destiny or whatever. But i was seriously contemplating it. Preoccupied by my thoughts, and the possibility. And figuring out the best plan of approach, should I attempt it… That our time flew by before I realized. And we were led, and send back to the earth below. I …. It might have been for the better to be honest. I didnt really want to take the risk, if we were currently in good, or atleast neutral standing, with the cloud giants. But I wonder, as to what other secrets and treasures might have been held there in the highest tower, along with the conch. * found the riddle, or prophecy again atleast. Maybe if we ever return to the cloud top castle, we could perhaps? attempt to take it. "Travel southeast to the untamed moors, and look to the sky for Lyn Armaal-the castle of the cloud giant countess. The conch you seek is in a secret chest. Search the highest spire!" Where there is a will, there is a way. I suppose

| 8 / 8 | we took our horses, and continued our journey towards Mirrorbar without much further trouble. Once we arrived, Sir Angelo was amazed, and rather excited by the prospect of an above ground, dwarven city. And he seems in awe of the culture and people that live here without the shelter of the earth. And im kind of curious to see his reaction once he lays his eyes upon the underground section of Mirrorbar. Nevertheless, he is already impressed by the fortifications and defences of the city. And looks forward to seeing more of it. we didn’t stop to look around much however. quickly heading towards where the skyship had landed… eager to get on board. Well… Anxious might be more accurate. Lym seems quite tense. And I’m a bit worried about the state that her brother, and the rest of the crew might reside in. I just hope that, it isn’t too bad. Or that we can still help. if not, we might have to put the Keepers of the Secret Horde, higher on our priority list.

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jjkyaoi · 3 years

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*SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE* FOUND FAMILY

• it’d been a couple days after dream had been imprisoned that puffy & tommy spoke? tommy had been walking to the prison w/ sam to visit dream for the second time, when puffy had ran up & decided she’d want to tag along. it was half because she wanted to see her son again—was he even her son anymore?—but it was mostly because she didn’t want tommy to go alone; she didn’t know tommys history w/ dream, but she didn’t trust dream alone w/ him, even if he used to be her duckling.

TOMMY, walking by sam’s side: so, how’s dream been holding up in prison?

SAM; he’s been doing fine —

PUFFY, running at them at full speed; I WOULD LIKE TO COME WITH—

• and ever since then, it’s been a routine for them to both visit dream in the prison. it’d been sort of awkward at first, but eventually the two of them just got into the habit of goofing around whenever they entered the prison; they wouldn’t take anything seriously & most of the time they’d spend in there would just be tormenting sam and seeing how loud they could yell in the prison so their voice would echo.

PUFFY: hey, tommy. hey—hey tommy, look

TOMMY: what?

PUFFY, copying sam’s stance & scowling: i’m sam and i’m a big angry prison warden look at me snarl grrrr

SAM; that Isn’t funny—

• eventually puffy just got into the habit of following sam & tommy around wherever they went. wherever they’d go or whatever they’d do she’d always be trailing behind.

• tommy doesn’t know this, but whenever he’s talking w/ anybody else he’s always got puffy & sam standing behind him threateningly. he could be conversing w/ literally anyone, & regardless if they’re a threat puffy & sam would just be behind him holding a giant sledgehammer.

TOMMY, talking to anyone: yeah, and then i said—

PUFFY & SAM, directly behind him: :]

• whenever tommy doesn’t feel like walking anymore, he’d always hop onto sam’s back. at first when he tried to do it they both crumbled to the ground, but eventually it’s just something they both knew how to do by days of practice, & it’s eventually something they both did randomly. if tommy didn’t want to be in a situation, sam would appear and he’d pick tommy up & he’d carry him away; if tommy was tired, he’d pick him up and carry him away, if tommy was angry, he’d pick him up & he’d carry him away.

• puffy got into the habit of training him, as well. he’d always been awed at the way she could fight, & she eventually decided that she’d just go ahead and train the kid if he was so curious. so, in the days where he wasn’t busy w/ hotelinnit, she’d just be training him. he wasn’t very good at most things, & he’d constantly be falling over his ass, but whenever he got frustrated she’d always let him win just to boost his ego.

TOMMY: i cant understand why i’m not winning, it’s not—it shouldn’t be that hard???

PUFFY, immediately collapsing on the ground; ah, you’ve defeated me.

TOMMY: wh..

TOMMY: i didn’t even hit you??

PUFFY: i’m dead. pray for me.

• eret also joins their little squad, even if it’s later on. they immediately take up the role of the elder sibling in tommys life, when they aren’t busy w/ their own things. tommy’s favorite thing to do w/ them is make little paper crowns & put them on his head, exclaiming that ‘they match!’ eret’s heart always melts whenever he sees that.

TOMMY, with a paper crown on his head; look, eret, now we’re both kings!

ERET, on the verge of tears: mhm :]

• sam & puffy both don’t like phil. they dont know much about tommy’s relationship w/ him, but they’ve noticed the way tommy’s face always seems to dim whenever he’s talking about him, and the way he doesn’t really speak to him as if he’s his dad? so they’ve both got into this silent agreement that they don’t want phil & tommy to interact, for the betterment of tommy. aka they’re both c!phil anti’s

TOMMY: puffy?

PUFFY: yeah?

TOMMY: do you think—,,... do you think ranboo’s better than me? i mean, do you think he’s nicer than me?

PUFFY: ...

SAM: where’s this coming from?

TOMMY: i don’t—i don’t know. i mean, phil & techno seem to like him a lot, and he’s living with them now, so i assume that he’s— i assume that he’s better than me?

TOMMY: i mean it isn’t like i care, because i don’t. and like i’m fine that he’s happy— i’m fine that they’re happy, it’s just that... they replaced me so fast, and i don’t—

TOMMY: did i ever really matter to them?

SAM; tommy...

PUFFY: well.

PUFFY: it doesn’t matter if you don’t matter to them, because you matter to us.

• after a couple weeks of hanging out w/ puffy and sam, he’d gotten into the habit of referring to them as “mom” and “dad” when they aren’t around. most of the time it’s towards tubbo, and it’s mostly just something he says w/o thinking about it? when he’d first done it he’d shut down for like a solid couple minutes.

TOMMY; anyway, so mom sent me—

TUBBO: mom?

TOMMY: ?

TUBBO: you just referred to puffy as your mom.

TOMMY:

• whenever tommy doubts visiting him in the prison, or gets nervous about talking to him again, puffy & sam always have him sit down for a little bit so they can encourage him. they’re always really gentle w/ him, and they always say he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to, but they try their best to encourage him when he’s like that.

• whenever tommy’s feeling down about logstedshire, as well, puffy & sam always have this routine;

PUFFY, pointing to this; what’s this?

TOMMY; my— that’s my arm?

PUFFY: mhm. and what’s this? *pointing to his leg*

TOMMY: my. ... leg?

SAM, putting his hand on tommy’s chest; and what’s this?

TOMMY: my heartbeat — i’m sorry, what’s the point of this?

SAM; it’s to prove that you lived through it.

PUFFY; logstedshire? it isn’t so scary, when you think about it. the person who made it scary is gone; and you’re here.

SAM: you’re still here, that’s all that matters.

• they’re both so extremely petty whenever they talk to phil. they both always loudly exclaim “MY SON” or “MY TOMMY” whenever they’re talking about tommy, just to rub it in phil’s face that tommy likes them better then he likes him. tommy’s always confused whenever he’s talking to phil & sam and puffy come running at them at full yelling things like ‘MY SON’

TOMMY: anyway, so i was saying, phil—

PUFFY, coming up behind TOMMY and giving him a backhug: hello my son :]

TOMMY: um— hi?

PHIL: ...?

SAM, also appearing and giving tommy a flower crown; i hope you like this, MY SON, i picked this out for you. it’s red. your favorite color

TOMMY: um.

PUFFY, glaring daggers at phil over tommys shoulder; have a good day MY SON.

• tommy doesn’t like anyone talking badly about sam or puffy, ever. even if it’s a joke, it doesn’t matter to him; if the slightest negative sentence is uttered about either of them he’s immediately got full armor on & rapidly flying towards them w/ his trident while violently screaming “WHAT’D YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOM AND DAD”

QUACKITY, jokingly: sam’s so weird—

TOMMY, immediately pointing an axe towards his throat; say that again and you die.

• also, tommy isn’t used to be handled w/ such,,,.. care? so, whenever sam or puffy are nice to him he’s always like “thank?? you??” he doesn’t understand why they’re being so kind—why they constantly give him random gifts just because they want to, and not because it’s out of pity. he’s constantly confused on why they’re nice to him w/o an alterior motive, and they have to tell him that it’s because they like him, not because they want something out of him.

TOMMY: puffy, why’re you— why’re you hugging me?

PUFFY, burying her face in his chest; it’s a sign of affection, dingus. it’s a hug.

TOMMY: yeah, okay, but... why?

PUFFY; because i care about you.

TOMMY: why—

SAM, ruffling tommy’s hair; just shut up & accept the hug.

#long post #when wilbur is revived tommy just introduces puffy & sam as ‘mom and dad’ and he’s like ‘okay i guess this is a thing now’#sam & puffy immediately adopt wilbur as well.#they drag along tommy & his mentally ill older brother Everywhere #puffy affectionately calls tommy ‘dingus’ & her favorite thing to do is flick him on the nose #sam likes to call tommy sunflower & pinch his cheeks #they’re both frequently very cuddly with tommy & they’ll take whatever opportunity they can to cuddle him #they’re both also very clingy & very worried about him. they dont want him going anywhere unless he’s sure he’ll be safe #like one time he visited logstedshire with like heaps of armor & multiple shields and weapons #TUBBO: oh #TUBBO: you’re here! you’ve finally come to logstedshire — why are sam and puffy here #TOMMY *puffy and sam clinging to his legs*: they didn’t want me to go #mcyt #mcytblr #dream smp #tommyinnit #minecraft youtubers #mcyters #dream smp spoilers #/roleplay #captainpuffy #awesamdude #the eret #tubbo #ranboo #philza minecraft #philza

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kung-fu-headcanons · 3 years

Note

any hc about po with dementia

or if crane finds that po is depressed/suicidal (prane is cool too)

This is yet another ask I stalled on cuz I wanted to write a short skit for the dementia part I hate laziness (but tbh it's probably cuz I'm not a part of this fandom anymore still tho) either way am sorry for the really long wait anon 😣 *cutely ignores the "or" and does both prompts*

Dementia!Po

Typically develops due to old age/failing health, but in this case, it would make a little bit more sense for it to be a result of a bad head injury.

Fights can get rough, especially when you're dealing with a more powerful enemy, so, the enemy was fighting dirty, and did not show any mercy to Po.

The fight that is happening, would resemble the one that happened in s2ep7-8 of legends of awesomeness (if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're gonna have to look it up, I would rather not spoil in case someone who hasn't seen it is reading this)

I guess, because of his chi, he recovers a bit faster than a regular kung fu master, but he's still in bad shape

He's quite confused and disoriented, in which Shifu and the Five dismiss as a result of having engaged in a hard battle, not yet knowing the severity of the situation yet

They do recognize that he hit his head really hard, and take him back, and have a medical professional come over to check on him

As time passes, Po first starts to forget what he's talking about, and often stutters trying to remember what he was saying

Then he starts to forget how to do kung fu, and all the valuable things he has learned as Dragon Warrior

Then he starts to forget everything that's led up to him being in the Jade Palace.. is that the name? He's losing his memories.

The hardest part, is not forgetting about himself (last stage), but forgetting the people around him. His friends and family, he can't place a name to them, and it's like, he knows, but doesn't have the knowledge of them.

The gang tries to help him remember, by reminding him of his signature moves, giving him his favorite foods, even having him let the day off and have him do the things he likes, but it's not working

Even when they remind him of who they are, and what he'd call them if he was, well, himself, Po doesn't know who the people talking to him are.

For example, Monkey would tell him, "Hey.. remember me? Monkey? Your best pal? We'd pull pranks on the others a lot..." and his heart sinks when Po just looks back at him, with confused and dull eyes, he doesn't remember.

This is even worse than if he had died during the fight. At least they don't have to watch him lose somebody they knew so we'll, become someone they don't know at all.

It's frustrating for Po himself too, because, in the early stages, he knew that he recognizes, but he just.. he just cant.

Depressed/Suicidal!Po

Po isn't too good at hiding his feelings, especially if he's really feeling it hard, so it's kind of a stick out to the others something is up with him.

If I ever said anything otherwise about that uhmm no I didn't (I'm glad I'm watching Legends of Awesomeness and eventually paws of destiny because I had seriously forgotten people's character...)

A lot of the signs that Po is showing of depression, Crane notices easily, since he's struggling a little with some mental problems as well

He isn't sure if he wants to confront him about it or not, because he's nervous Po might get mad at him for getting involved in his business, after some thought, he decides, it doesn't hurt to ask...

It's night time, and Crane goes to Po's room to ask what is up with him.

Po gives him a look, and he's like, ".......what are you talking about?" He's not unhappy that Crane asked, he's scared that somebody knows about it, like, uhm, what, he'd been hiding it quite well but it got through?

Crane freaks, dang it, should have known this would happen, he rapidly starts to apologize he's like "aaah I'm sorry I'll leave, I didn't mean to bother you, I won't tell anybody I promise I wont-"

Po sighs, shakes his head, he can trust Crane.. he lets him in his room, and takes a deep breath, and says to him, "Okay, I'll tell you, but promise you won't tell Shifu or the others...?" And Crane promises, he will keep it a secret.

So Po tells Crane how he's been feeling lately, and some of the stuff he says, hits Crane directly in the heart, because he knows exactly how he feels. This is not about him, however, this is about Po.

Crane tries his best to comfort Po, and give him advice, worried that he might have accidentally said something that would make Po feel even worse

Well, Po is just happy to have somebody listen to him, and he's glad that Crane is here to talk to him about it, and didn't ridicule him about it (which is why he was scared at first, he thought he would get made fun of)

He thanks Crane for his time, Crane lets him know, he's not alone in this, there's always someone to help.

If Po is feeling suicidal, he probably had cut himself a little, and it'll take more than some talk for Crane to help Po feel better, and some extra steps to let him know, he's not alone, and people care.

I don't ship Prane (tbh I'm not really that huge of a shipper anymore, ships are cool and all but I prefer individual character content) but for the people that do here's some stuff for you guys

Crane immediately notices something is wrong, and wants to talk to him, worried.

Po's thoughts mainly include, what if Crane doesn't actually love me, and he only dates me cuz he feels sorry for me, he's feeling rather insecure as well as depressed and suicidal.

He thinks that he's being a waste of Crane's time, he should go date somebody else that's actually worth it.

Crane emphasizes the fact, he loves him, and him only, pulls him into an embrace, maybe a kiss as well, he has nothing to worry about.

He loves him for the way he is, and there's nothing he needs to change about himself.

#kung fu panda #kung fu panda headcanons #kung fu panda hcs #kung fu panda hdcs #kung fu panda po #kung fu panda crane #kung fu panda po x crane #kung fu panda crane x po #kung fu panda prane #kfp #kfp headcanons #kfp hcs #kfp hdcs #kfp po #kfp crane #kfp po x crane #kfp crane x po #kfp prane

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vampryn · 3 years

Text

i was already upset and having a bad day because i ran out of medication and work sucked yadda yadda but it somehow got worse and i had a conversation that inadvertently gave me a ptsd episode and now im jus trying to calm down so im writing here bc sometimes it makes me feel better. as hard as today has felt, im really happy that my life isnt how it was a year ago. if i were having a day like this i would have completely fallen apart and needed psychiatric help, but ive managed to just have a cry and an anxiety attack and bring myself back to a relatively even state again. im not even sure how i did it, but ive learned not to question good things too much sometimes my brain gets occupied with 1 thing and i cant stop thinking about it, and for some reason right now its every Halloween movie thats ever been made. i just want to sit and watch them over and over and over again. i want to watch the one i just saw again as well, but sadly its still in theatres.. i wish i had sharper artistry skills and id draw a picture of michael myers because i think hes really cool, and sometimes a drawing makes my brain feel like we’ve given an appropriate accolade to the appreciated party. assess my alliteration, assholes. absolutely astounding~ i wonder what original thought sparked the idea for the character of michael myers. im sure john carpenter would say this or that, but im sure he wouldnt be able to remember the actual true thought that lead him to the first inkling of this character coming to fruition. i wish i could go back in time and be the ghost of christmas past during that moment. except i want to hear his thoughts too. you see.. YOU SEE?! this is why i dont go off my medication very often. i have a hard time processing anything and my thoughts are even more confusing to sort through than they normally are.. i shant be trusted. also it is a terrible time for anybody to try to have a coherent conversation with me because i am fucky. i also also whined for the last 4 hours of my shift, so sorry to everybody including me

also both of my ankles hurt like piss and idk what i did but please stop thank you i hope posting it on tumblr will be the healing magic they need to get better. omg also i bought a beetlejuice pillow and its so cool. ok thats it thats the tweet.

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harrysgoldenline · 4 years

Note

this is super soft but can i request something where the reader doesn’t have a lot of experience and her and harry agree to take things slowly? there’s so much pressure nowadays and physical stuff makes me anxious haha🤍🤍 totally okay if u cant/don’t want to! ly :)

love this idea bc I also don’t have much experience so i may be projecting here lolololol. ANYWAYS! Kinda made me my mini series called “Cant Help But Love Him”! I really hope this is kinda what you were thinking and you like it! Thank you so much for requesting 💕

Inexperienced

Harry and Y/N have been together now for just over two months, having known each other for a year and a half before that they both completely loved and trusted each other. They meet through a mutual friend, Y/N was a bit younger and instantly intimated by Harry while he was entranced by her instantly.

When he asked her out the first time (and even still to this day), she cutely blushed and anxiously agrees, finding it hard to believe that he even wanted to spend time with her.

That leads to where they are now, an uncountable amount of dates later, sitting on the floor in Harry’s living room as they sat eating pizza after their night out at a much too fancy work cocktail party, the pair leaving early and ordering the pizza on their way home.

Y/N changed out of her gown, borrowing a pair of Harry’s big t-shirts and leaving on the spandex she had underneath as he sat across from her in a pair of sweats and his white tank undershirt.

“You like the shake? That bloody machine is always broken when we go there.” He chuckled, nodding toward the homemade chocolate milkshake she gripped with both hands.

She let out a soft giggle, eyes wide as she nodded with the straw between her lips. He smirked, staring at her as the girl happily dipped in the shake, eyes closing as she lets out a soft ‘mmmm’.

He slowly scooted closer to her, licking his lips as he stared at hers, his thumb raising to the girls lips and wiping away some of the leftover residue, staring down deep into her eyes. He could see the girls chest rise and falls shakily, licking her own lips as she watched him put his thumb into his mouth quickly.

“Need a better taste.” He barley spoke, smashing his lips onto hers in an instant, cupping her face with both hands.

Y/N was surprised by his sudden move, shakily setting down the milkshake before her arms go around him, tangling in his hair, letting out a soft whimper as she feels his tongue slip into her mouth and she instantly grants him access.

He suddenly grips her thighs, lifting her up and having her legs wrap around his waist as he also stands, knocking over her milkshake in the process.

“Harry!” She exclaimed, throwing her head back laughing before lifting her head back up to look at him, “put me down we need to get that cleaned up.”

“I need you.”

He leaned forward, his perfect, pink lips attaching to her neck and sponging soft kiss on the bare skin, arms right around her waist as he continued walking to his bedroom, Y/N’s heart starting to beat out of her chest.

Tell him. She was screaming in her head, tell him it’s okay. Harry won’t be mad. He’d understand.

He kicked the door open and close in an instant, connect their lips before separating them lay her down on the bed, a sly smirk on his face as he stared down at her, slipping his shirt over his head before starting to hover over her.

He gripped her face in one hand, pressing their lips together and Y/N tried to focus on his lips, his warm skin. Everything is okay. She was telling herself, it’s Harry! Just do it! Tell him the trut-

“Wait.” She chokes out, eyes already welling up with tears as embarrassment and fear filled her, “I-I’m sorry, Harry- I can’t-“

“No, fuck I shouldn’t have moved so fast I’m sorry-“ he rambled, quickly moving and sitting next to her, “I’m sorry... why are you crying, baby I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you- fuck... I really am-“

“I’m a Virgin.” She admits, ripping the bandaid off completely, “like, completely. I haven’t, umm. I haven’t really done anything...not really, I mean really...nothing.”

“Nothing?”

She nods, confirming his thoughts and his blank stare of surprise remained glued on his face, making Y/N rub her eyes to try to calm down before standing, planning to head to the living room to clean up the mess and go home.

Harry quickly grabs her hand, pulling her back to him, surprised to have run into his hard chest rather than falling back on the bed. She slowly looked up at him, a loose curly strand falling in her face that Harry quickly tuck behind her ear, a sympathetic smile slowly covering his face.

“You leaving?” He softly asked, wiping a stray tear on her cheek, “I truly am so sorry if I made you uncomfortable or pressured you, that was never my intention. You are so important to me. Whenever your ready, no matter how long it takes.”

“You never have, Ive just been so happy I didn’t know what you were going to say... or if you would even have wanted me stay.” She admitted, cuddling herself into his warm skin, “it just makes me feel so silly. You’re like the sexiest man alive and I’m just some inexperienced girl who somehow got you...”

“Ya think I’m sexy?” He smirked, digging his fingers into her sides.

“Shut up!”

Harry heart flutter as he heard her laugh, grabbing her wrists as he went to push his chest, gripping them and pulling her close and quickly throwing her over his shoulder, spinning around a few times before having them both fall on his bed, the pairs laughing loudly and leaning into one another.

She softly leaned in and quickly pecked his lips before burying her face in the crook of his neck, snuggling into him as his arms go tight around her.

“Lets take things slow, okay?” He whispered softly in her ear, “I really, really like you and I don’t wanna rush into anything, we’re gonna do whatever you feel comfortable with. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost ya.”

“But, Id hate to... deprive you.” She blushed, shyly looking back up at him with a red face, “don’t want you to grow to hate me for making you wait o-or go to somebody else... just because I’m not ready yet.”

“I’m not gonna hate you. Never could.” He whispered, kissing her forehead, “and absolutely could never even think about being with anybody else. If you knew how much I liked you I think I’d scare you away.”

She shook her head in disbelief, wondering how she got to be the luckiest human being in the world to be able to have him. She quickly pressed her lips onto his, fingers tangling in his hair.

“I do like kissing you.” She whispered, innocently looking up into his eyes, “Really, really love kissing you... that doesn’t scare me. Can we just do that?”

“Fuck yeah.” He chuckled, smashing his lips quickly onto hers, gripping at her sides as his tongue slides into her mouth.

“Wait!” She squeaked, pulling back and giggling as she saw his eyes still closed with puckered lips for a moment before opening them back up, cheeks pink after realizing, “the milkshake! It’s gonna destroy your rug!”

“It’s a stupid rug.” He muttered, pecking her lips rapidly making her laugh, “I’ll get a new one.”

#harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry styles imagines #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles drabble #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles headcannon

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casmybelovedass · 4 years

Text

The Destiel Folder: Season 7

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6]

This season is mostly Dean being a depressed bi who can't cope with his crush's death.

This is, in my opinion, the season where Dean actually starts realizing he might for real think of Cas as something more.

Episode 1:

Cas is basically gone, both Bobby and Sam (almost) are ready to compel to whatever he says, but Dean still tries to get him to come back. "You can turn this around. Please!" (3:13) Denial

Dean has no idea how to deal with God!Castiel, but desperate to find him, and getting emotional "I don't even know what book to hit for this." "Then figure it out!" (5:47) Anger

As we have said many times already, angels don't have a sex, Castiel is not a man, and as he states, he is "utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" (8:03), and so is Chuck, God himself, who has admitted having had both girlfriends and boyfriends.

Dean turns off the news the moment he hears a woman describe Cas as "young and sexy", while doing that jaw clentch thing of his (10:14) ... huh... [and this doesn't really matter, but after this we immediately see Dean in a purple flannel. PURPLE! Go Bi!Dean]

"He's not a guy, he's a God [...] Cas is never coming back. He's lied to us, he's used us, he's cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk. We've spent enough on him." (11:09) Dean trying to jump to the 5th stage of grief. Yeah, no baby that's not how it works

Dean tries so hard to convince himself that Cas's gone so he can kill him, but can't really. "Just kill him now!" and struggles hard to hold Castiel's glare. And as soon as Death offers a second option to killing him, Dean takes it. Bargening

"Dean, look, I know you think Cas is gone." "That's because he is." (31:22) Again with trying to jump to acceptance. Not doing great, Dean. In fact, "Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my pie hole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some asian cartoon porn. And act like the world's about to explode, because it is." (32:17) There it is. Depression.

[Remember this: Dean has no shame in watching porn in front of his brother. Wait a few seasons and see]

Just moments earlier, Dean was all "That's not Cas, Cas is dead" and shit, and now he goes "What? You need something else?" worried-husband-mode the moment Cas asks for help (34:50). Also#MARRIED (35:16)

Bobby: "Where's Sam? It's go time." Dean: *looks back at Cas worried* (37:12)

MUST HELP HUSBAND (38:06) look at Dean's eyes!!! They're like 'It's okay, it's okay. You've got this.' "I'm sorry, Dean." Cas chose these words to be his last, thinking he was going to die. LOOK AT DEAN (38:21) ICWAW this would MEAN SOMETHING ELSE

"CAS! [...] Is he breathing? ... Maybe angels don't need to breathe." says the one who was going around saying Cas was gone for good. "He's gone, Dean." "... damn it... *tears up* Cas, you child... Why didn't you listen to me." #MARRIED (39:15) Then he goes "CAS?!" as soon as he starts breathing again. ICWAW, we would SCREAM "LOVE" in this scene

"Imma find some way to redeem myself to you *looks at Dean straight in the eyes*" "*looks at Cas up and down*... Alright, well, one thing at the time, come on. Let's get you out of here." "I mean it, Dean." *eye love-making* "... Okay." (40:30) ICWAW, oooohhh, the meanings this scene would have...

Dean's face when the Leviathans tell him Cas is dead. Again. (41:18)

Episode 2:

Dean looking at the Leviathans occupying Cas' body. The HATE (1:44)

"... okay... so he's gone. *shakes while tearing up* [...] Dumb son of a bitch..." (5:14) Here we go again... I'm fine, shut up

Dean picks up, washes, folds and keeps Cas' coat (5:23) SWEET

"You just lost one of the best friends you've ever had." this hurts me. "... I'm fine, really." (12:11)

"You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good." (38:54)

Episode 5:

Dean progressively drinks more as his nightmares get worse and he misses Cas more and more. 3 times we see him drink, only in the first 12 minutes.

Sam can tell Dean feels like shit, and bet one of those reasons is Cas "Like it or not, the stuff you don't talk about, it doesn't just go away. It builds up." (39:33) Yeah, and not only problems or grief... even love

Episode 7:

Not a destiel moment, but Dean totally got hit on by the waiter. LOL (7:30)

And again. What is it with men in this town and Dean. "We're looking for a necklace." "Romantic. *looks at Dean*" (12:17). Is it an energy reading thing or something? Can they feel the bi energy?

"The Campbell brothers. [...] They weren't actually brothers. That was a cover for their, uhm... alternative life style." (22:40) Huh... I guess calling your lover "brother" runs in the family

"Ever since Cas... I'm having a hard time trusting anybody." (40:44) ouch

Episode 9:

Dean is drunk/high on Leviathan juice, and the first thing he thinks and blabbers about, is Cas (19:48) "I don't even care anymore." Oooohh ICWAW... the possibilities for this scene

Episode 12:

Dean totally checked out that man in uniform. FIGHT ME (16:27)

Episode 13:

"You're head's not in it, man. When Cas died, you were wobbly, but now-" "Now what!!" (39:35) as soon as Sam mentions Cas' death, Dean gets snappy

Episode 17:

Dean keeps getting snappy whenever Sam mentions Cas

"OH my God the love of my life is alive!" (13:02-13:06)

Dean's face when Daphne touches Cas (13:25), and when he calls her his wife (13:41)

AND HIS FUCKING FACE TRYING NOT TO TEAR UP BECAUSE CAS DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT HIM (14:16)

You mean to tell me that ICWAW this wouldn't be seen as a mini desperation moment from a man seeing his lover in this situation? Yeah, I don't think so

"What if you were some sort of... I don't know, bad guy." "I... I don't feel like a bad person." Dean's face is like "Damn right you aren't" (16:50)

"He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?" Dean looking at him... can't even answer the question (19:59)

Dean says Cas' betrayal is something he cant get over like everything else. And that he doesn't know why. "It doesn't matter why." "Of course it matters!" (20:25)

Dean gets visibly uneasy about Meg being so close to Cas (25:34) jealous boyfriend is jealous

Dean doesn't want Cas to remember, afraid he'll leave again (32:18)

"I've known you for years!" (32:34) poor baby. Also "You're an angel." "Uhm, I'm sorry? Is that a flirtation?" DEAN'S FACE (32:42)

Dean doesn't want Cas to be hurt by his own memories and past actions (33:00)

"You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually." Yeah, look at that reaction. Let's see how he reacts to being called his boyfriend later on (33:09)

#MARRIED!!! I'll just leave this. No comment (33:41)

As Cas regains his memories, only 2 of the ones we see are not of Dean. And the only one we hear is the "I'm sorry, Dean." . That is what matters to Cas (and this looks like a slash video. Kudos to the editors) "I remember you... I remember everything." Yeah, no-homo save (34:35)

Not even an hour earlier, Dean was ranting about Cas betraying him, how he couldn't forget and forgive him, and now he is saying Cas did "the best you could at the time", but Cas actually feels guilt and doesn't want Dean to defend him, but Dean does anyway (36:53)

"We didn't part as friends, Dean." "*looks at Cas up and down*... So what?" "I deserved to die." the look on Dean's face (37:18)

Dean gives Cas his trench coat back. The trench coat he kept, folded and all the the truck, for weeks. And that's not even Baby. So he moved the coat, to always have it with him (37:26). I'm not crying, shut up

Also, here, have a deleted scene that breaks my heart

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Episode 20:

Let us all appreciate that one time Dean helped a lesbian flirt with a dude (24:27-25:03)

Episode 21:

Dean is devastated about Cas' mental state, that he did that to himself to save Sam. Look at his eyes in this scene (16:08). Also, Dean still resents Cas for the whole 'New God' crap, but it feels like the real reason is the fact that he left (19:18)

"Cas! Don't make me pull this car over!" "Are you angry? Why are you angry? *puppy eyes*" "... No I-I'm..." #MARRIED (27:28)

Cas says he won't fight anymore, but as soon as Dean's in trouble, he FLIPS

"The angels... they don't care... I think maybe they don't have the equipment to care." (31:49) Touchy much, Dean?, are you trying to convince yourself about that? It feels like he's making excuses to not let himself feel anything for Cas. "It seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart." ... OK, fuck everything, ICWAW this would totally be seen as romantic angsty reference to Cas

Cas is so lost in his guilt for what he has caused. He looks like a baby, and it gets worse when it comes to Dean

"Why should we give you anything? After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you curropts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!" (36:50) okay damn, ICWAW all of this would seem as if they were talking about a love relationship between the two and you can't tell me otherwise

'HURT HUSBAND-MUST PROTECT MODE' (37:17)

"The bone of a righteous mortal and the blood of a fallen angel" ... shut up, I'm dying over these clues (39:11)

"What are you gonna do, Cas?" Dean's eyes are begging him to stay. ICWAW, we would point that out without a shadow of a doubt (39:40)

Episode 23:

"Dude... on my car. He showed up naked... covered in bees!" ... come on, ICWAW this would be a HUGE deal (5:10)

"Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first." (8:51) LISTEN HERE. I study psychology, and one of the first things they teach you is that jokes are based on the truth. HOW MANY OF THESE JOKES WERE MADE?! HUH??!! (plus all the "Dick" jokes Sam made) Also Dean's reaction with the jaw clentch... just saying

Cas keeps stating he doesn't want to fight, but again, Dean's in trouble? FIGHT MODE

"*soft shoulder touch, puppy eyes, serves Dean a sandwich*" ... SOFT #MARRIED COUPLE (18:27)

"You got anything to say on the topic of dicks?" you'd like that, wouldn't you, Dean? (26:42)

Cas is afraid he will do something to cause Dean more trouble. Let's remember he chose what he believed were his last words to be "I'm sorry, Dean.", but as we know, Dean deals with feelings by showing anger... Cas gets upset and copes by playing twister... pathetic. "I can't help. [...] I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again!" for a moment, Cas is lucid, and expresses his fear, but as soon as Dean gets angry with him, Cas gows back to hide in his world of crazy (26:47)

"I'm not good luck, Dean." "... You know what? [...] I'd rather have you. Cursed or not." Look at Cas' soft little smile as it grows. ICWAW, this would be read as another confession (32:38)

"I'll go with you." SOFT

SEE??! The MOMENT Dick threatens Dean, Cas goes full Angel of the Lord on his ass. MUST PROTECT HUSBAND (36:52) and the utter shock on Dean's face is priceless

And here comes PurGAYtory

[Season 8>>]

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strawnarrries · 4 years

Note

omg do one about morning after the first time 🥰

imma assume you want this with niall bc 97% of my followers are niall girls but if youd like it with another boy just lemme know and id be happy to write another version :) //

you woke up to the rustling of niall laying on his belly next to you, soon followed by his arm draping around your waist. your sleepy body mindlessly snuggled up next to him, legs tangling with his, running your cold feet against his. as you gave yourself time to wake up, you slowly became more aware of your surroundings. you realized both you and niall were completely naked and memories of last night filled your mind, causing a small smile to rise on your lips.

last night you had decided to finally give your all to niall. you have been together for quite some time now and were terrified to lose your virginity to someone you would regret. sex was a big thing to you and you didnt wanna just give it to anybody, so you waited until you knew for a fact that you loved niall and truly wanted him to have it. and last night was the big night and you couldn’t have been more happy with your decision. you loved niall to pieces and truly saw a future with him. you trusted him and knew that he was going to take care of you and not do anything that would make you uncomfortable. and thats exactly how last night went.

“gmornin’ love” he smiled lazily at you, his voice raspy and filled with sleep

“gmorning” you grinned, stretching your limbs.

“sleep well?” he asked as he turned onto his side to face you. you turned onto your side as well, pulling the covers up to your shoulders, facing each other completely.

“yes, did you?”

he nodded, pushing a piece of hair from out of your face. you snuggled into his chest, entangling your legs with his again while he wrapped his big arms around you, pulling you as close as possible to him. the warmth of his body radiated to you, warming your skin that was filled with goosebumps from the morning chill of your room.

and to your surprise, his little friend decided to make an appearance this fine, crisp morning. when you snuggled up to him, you could feel his hard on against your inner thigh. you smiled softly, lifting your head to look up at him. his cheeks were a light shade of pink and he chuckled softly, “’m sorry. cant really hide it when ya got no pants on”

“no ‘s okay” you chuckled back, “‘s not the first time its happened”

“okay but times are different now. ‘m waking up t’ me girl completely naked next t’ me for the first time ever”

you felt your face heat up and butterflies erupt in your tummy at his words, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. you snuggled closer to him, hiding your face in his freckled neck.

“i had fun last night” he smirked

you smiled, humming slightly, “me too”

“ya did so well”

“stooooooppp” you whined, feeling slightly embarrassed and digging your face deeper into his skin

he giggled at you, “whatt?? ya did! you were incredible”

you whined against him before he said, “look at me”

“no”

“ah cmon, dont hide from me now” he giggled at you, reaching up and guiding your head to look up at him

you face was bright red and there was a cute pout on your lips when you made eye contact with him. he giggled at you, “yer so fuckin’ cute” and you whimpered again, hiding your face in the curve of his neck again.

“any regrets?” he asked

“zero”

a smile rose to his pink lips, “good”

“i love you” you mumbled, looking up at him through your lashes

“i love you too”

you puckered your lips and he leaned down and pressed his soft lips to yours, molding them together for a couple sweet pecks.

“what’dya wanna do t’day?”

“nothing,” you chuckled, “imma little sore”

he giggled deeply back, “that’s okay. we’ll stay in today. do whatever ya want” and ugh i want this with niall sooooooo bad

#anon #answered #blurbs #niall horan #niall #one direction #blurb #niall horan blurb #niall blurb #niall blurbs #niall horan blurbs #one direction blurb #one direction blurbs #boyfriend niall

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mageicalwishes · 3 years

Text

Read on AO3: Here

Rating: Teen And Up

Summary: My interpretation of "I was a 15-year-old closet case whose parents pretended they didn’t notice when the family dog disappeared".

"A shallow grave. So much less than she deserves. But … I can’t breathe. I can’t even think. I’m running on autopilot and adrenaline alone. Everything is just - I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how I got here. I'm losing control. I can't - I can't even look at her. She's still wrapped in my sheets. I can see her bleeding. I still want it. I still want more.

Carry On Countdown, Day 7 - Animal @carryon-countdown

Key Info: Inspired by this artwork by one of my fave artists on here @cynopoe

TW: Slight Emetophobia Warning!! (Non Graphic. Final line of first paragraph, feel free to skip if you're concerned!) & Hemophobia Warning!! (This is a very Vampire-heavy fic, so unfortunately there is frequent mention of blood). I have both these phobias (Lol RIP me) and faint when I see them IRL, but this was fine for me to write so I don't think it should be anything too major. However, everyone's phobias are different so I wanted to give a heads up. Please be aware of these warnings before reading, and feel free to skip over this if it's not for you!

Tags: Heavy Angst, Angst, Biting, Blood Drinking, Mild Blood, Pain, Mordelia Trying To Be A Nice Sister, Baz’s Dog, BASICALLY I’M REALLY SORRY FOR THIS IDK WHAT DEMON MADE ME WRITE THIS, Big Sad, Carry On Countdown 2020 Day 7

Words: 1,116

Baz

A shallow grave. So much less than she deserves. But … I can’t breathe. I can’t even think. I’m running on autopilot and adrenaline alone. Everything is just - I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how I got here. I'm losing control. I can't - I can't even look at her. She's still wrapped in my sheets. I can see her bleeding. I still want it. I still want more. My hands - I’m trying to dig but they won’t stop shaking. My stomach is churning, sick with the guilt, I have to - I stop and heave once more, the remnants of my crime splattering grimly on the dampened soil. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to hurt her.

The Change had started a week or so after I returned home from Watford. At first, it was nothing more than a minor irritant - A stinging in the sun, a bone-deep chill. But … it worsened.

First, came the dryness of my throat. That unceasing thirst no amount of water could quench. And then, came the mind-clouding obsession. My every thought consumed by blood. The steady slog of it through my family’s vessels so distracting that I couldn’t so much as look at them - The people that I loved - without that incessant need to take. Their blood. Their life. Their everything.

It wasn’t me, not really, but I couldn’t stop it - Couldn’t fight it. Frozen, weak and powerless, my humanity withering away before me as the monster took it’s hold. I didn’t know what to do - Didn’t know who to go to - and so … I hid.

I thought that if I locked myself away and waited for the initial thirst to subside, that everyone would be safe. That I’d make it through without hurting anybody - Without losing myself.

I didn’t know much about Vampirism, but I’d been assured that the effects were at their worst on initial onset. If I endured, it would become more manageable. If I bared it, I could live with it. I’d pinned all of my hopes on that promise, but it had let me down.

Father had a key to my door - An emergency plan. If I needed it, he could lock me in. But I didn’t, I had it under control. I thought that I was alright. That I could make it. No matter how hazy or desperate I became, how thirsty I was, they were safe. Everyone was safe. And then … Mordelia tried to be kind.

She couldn’t have realised what she was doing. She didn’t know (None of the children did). She just didn’t want me to be lonely anymore. And so … she let Dotty in.

I tried to get her away from me, tried to get her out of my room. But she thought I was playing, so she just kept running and jumping up at me, tennis ball held happily in her mouth. She was so warm, and I was so weak. All I could see, and think, and feel, and hear was her - Every breath she took, every maddening thump of her heart. I couldn’t escape it. I’d craved it for so long, and here it was, trapped in a room with me. I didn’t - I didn’t mean to do it. I don’t know what happened. One second I was shoving her away from me, and the next, I’d done it. I’d bitten her.

I’ll never be able to escape the echo of her cries. How she whimpered beneath me, high pitched and betrayed. The fragment of me that remained, screaming, begging it to stop, to just let her go, overpowered by the darkness. By the need.

I couldn’t let go. I just kept biting and biting and biting, pushing my jaw harder against her flesh. Blood suffocating me with every move, tacky under my nails and dripping from the lengths of my hair. I didn’t even care. I couldn’t care. Finally … I was satiated.

And so … Here I am. Slathered in mud and crimson, desperately trying to bury my beloved dog in the shallow pit I’ve scraped out of the ground. Trying to forget it. Trying to pretend that this is some sick, perverted nightmare - That I’ll wake up and be me again. Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, not whoever did this. Not whatever did this. I cant - I won’t - I don’t …

------------------------------

When I make it back to the house, the sun is hanging fire in the sky.

I don’t know how long it has been since I took her - 4 hours? 5? How many moments have I had to bear it so far? My mind is clearer now, but I’m still lost. It wasn’t me, it was … I don’t know.

Daphne screams when she sees me, and Father comes racing down the stairs in a panic. I didn’t think about them being awake. I should’ve just waited. I should’ve just stayed hidden. I should’ve just stayed gone. But it’s too late now. He’s pushing her behind his body, shielding her with his presence. Protecting her from me. I can see the realisation dawn on his face as he takes me in - My unmistakably bloodied figure, her yellow-spotted collar still clutched in my muddied hands. Disgust. That’s what I see. Pure, unrelenting disgust at what I’ve done - What I’ve become.

“Mother, Father, I didn’t - I didn’t mean to. Please, you have to believe me," I’m sobbing, chest rattling as I try to explain - Try to somehow absolve myself of their justified hatred. It’s sick. A truly disturbed little performance. But, they have to know. They mustn't think … “I wouldn’t hurt you - I wouldn’t hurt anybody - Anything. It was an accident. I tried to undo it. I tried to heal her, but my magic wouldn’t come, I was too … I didn’t have enough in me. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t-”

With a lift of his hand, he silences me. “Go and clean yourself up, Basilton,” he says, voice flat and hollow. “We’ll deal with this later.”

We won’t talk about it, I know. We’ll act like it never happened. But it did. And I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on pretending anymore.

Later, as I was scrubbing the shame from my body - Watching the whole diabolic night swirl down the plug, as I scoured my tainted skin raw. The reek of Copper and Dirt, poorly masked with lashings of Cedar and Bergamot - I heard the unmistakable locking of my door. A vicious creature finally confined to it’s cell. That final, damning confirmation. My own family - Scared of me. They can’t even trust me not to hurt them anymore (And neither can I). Not like this. Not with what I’ve become. One of them. Crowley, Mother would be so disappointed in me.

#carry on #carry on countdown #coc 2020 #my writing #my fic #co/ws #baz pitch #IM SORRYYYYYYYY

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honey-bird-04 · 3 years

Text

this is my first post

Hullo. This is my 3rd time rewriting this, because sumthin’ kept fucking up every time I tried to write it. But let’s hope this time goes smoothly cause I got a lot to say. I don’t have anywhere else to put this, so I decided, why not come to Tumblr and see what everyone else thinks. So, let’s get started. I have been a Gleek since I was in 6th grade. And as much as I know that the show is cringey and hard to watch, my sister and I genuinely enjoyed it (although now we mostly watch it ironically). And we always had a favoritism system going, our favorite characters were blatantly obvious, and we were fishing for least favorite characters when we could. So, our lists of favorite characters/ships looked a little something like this: Favorites: -Kurt Hummel -Finn Hudson -Rachel Berry -Santana Lopez -Brittany S Pierce -Blaine Anderson Least favorites: -Quinn Fabray -Noah Puckerman -Terry Schue -Sue Sylvester -Jessie St James -Sebastian Smythe Favorite ships: -Finchel -Klaine -Brittana -Wemma And even though that doesn’t seem like there’s anything wrong with that set up in particular, I’m going to explain to you why my views have changed. Especially on my least favorite characters. And disclaimer!! Any and all of these characters that I list on my least favorites have nothing to do with race, gender, disability, sexuality etc. They are solely based on personality and how their actions affected others. That’s it. That’s what I’m basing it off of. Same goes for my favorite characters as well. And believe me I will give a lengthy explanation for each and every one of them I promise. So I’m going to be listing the least favorites from LEAST bad/toxic to MOST bad/toxic. And don’t be upset if one of your favorites are on here. Just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean you can’t like them. Just make that clear. These are only things that I’ve picked up and I’ve noticed throughout the show and watching back important clips and such from the show. Coming in at #7: Mercedes Jones: I know what’s coming already. And I’m going to have to tell y’all this loud and clear. Mercedes is not a diva. She’s just a bitch. I’ve never liked Mercedes, and not because she was black, but just because she had an awful personality and she was awful to the people around her. I think the only time I really saw her being nice to someone was when she was dating Sam, or when she was dating that football player. And a few times when she was with Kurt. The main problem I have with her is in S1E3: Bust Your Windows, she busted Kurt’s front windshield all because he had a crush on someone else. And I can guarantee you guys this. If a guy did that to a girl, like if Kurt had done that to Mercedes instead, y’all would’ve been outraged. She had no reason to bust his window like that and then get all sassy to him when he got upset about it. Coming in at #6: Santana Lopez: And this is another character that y’all are so set on saying that she’s a diva. But no. Santana is a straight up bitch. And before you guys say “she was closeted/insecure/outed!” etc, Kurt was also insecure and closeted in the first season and he was never rude to anybody in the way Santana was. And secondly, Finn didn’t out her until S3E6: Mash Off, and I can tell you she had been acting like a huge bitch way before then. All I have to do is pull up all of the times she’s been anti-semetic to Rachel, fatphobic to Finn and Lauren, attacked people’s insecurities and was just being god awful. One of my least favorite scenes from her is when she went on that entire rant about why Blaine and Kurt didn’t work out, and she attacked Kurt’s teeth, his sexuality, his dancing, his s3xual appeal, and just about everything Kurt was insecure about. All because he said that he thought Santana and Brittany were too young to get married. And I honestly agreed with him, Britt and San were 19. Definitely too young to get married, and Kurt was just trying to relate his failure with Blaine to warn them that getting married this young wasn’t something that they wanted to do. But no. Santana didn’t listen to him trying to reason with her, she just told him basically “you suck, Blaine really hates you, get your crap together.” And I have always had a problem with it. Not to mention she called Quinn a slut. And no matter what situation you are in, I don’t believe it’s okay to call any girl a slut. Actually, I don’t think it’s okay to call anybody a slut. Because I’m bringing this back. If Finn had called Quinn a slut, you guys would be all over him and cancelling that character so fast, but as soon as Santana says it, it’s okay? That never sat right with me either. And again, the way she relentlessly bullies Rachel for everything she’s insecure about, especially her height and nose is not okay. It doesn’t matter how much you dislike someone. Making fun of her nose to the point where as soon as she breaks it, she’s immediately thinking of getting a nose job. That is not okay. And there’s a speculation that Santana was the one who pushed Rachel over the edge to try and fall into bulimia. And I don’t doubt it. Santana is not a nice person. And her internalised homophobia does not excuse anything that she’s said or done. Not to mention she has Britt wrapped around her finger and she knows that she’ll do anything she asks. Like when Santana was fantasizing about forcing Britt to break up with Artie if she became Prom Queen because it would be “the law of the land” that is absolutely inexcusable. Because we all know Britt is naive and has some sort of DD or autism, and the characters in the show take that and use it to their advantage. Especially Santana. Coming in at #5: Artie Abrams: Now before you come for my ass, let me tell you. I actually used to really like Artie. He was pretty high up on my ranking Glee characters lists that I used to make all the time. But now that I’ve rewatched and I’ve noticed more things, I just cant like him with a good conscience. Remember in season 1 when Tina told him that she doesn’t really have a stutter? Well, if you remember, he broke up with her after that. But if you were closely watching the show, you should’ve realised that Tina has some sort of social anxiety, (not that I’m excusing her faking a disability), but she has a reason for doing it. She (presumably) took up the stutter because she needed a way to avoid having to speak so much in public. Which is totally understandable! Artie didn’t have to break up with her. She confided in him to finally tell him what she had been hiding for so long and he just breaks up with her??? Are you kidding? That just goes to show that one of the only reasons he was dating her was because of her disability. If he broke up with her so fast for not actually having one. Even though she had an actual reason that she did it. Another thing about Artie that I hate is that he called Britt stupid. And that is a huge deal. Everyone in the school calls Britt stupid or something along those lines (even Santana) and as soon as she finds the one guy who doesn’t think that way of her, he breaks her trust. She technically did cheat on him, but as I said earlier, she bends to Santana’s every order and she has some sort of DD or autism and didn’t understand that it was cheating. She even told Artie she didn’t understand it. And instead of sitting her down and explaining to her and giving her a second chance to prove her new knowledge to good use, he just calls her stupid and makes her cry. And then this one is obvious. Artie didn’t fucking wear c0ndoms while he was having s3x with those two girls in New York and didn’t actually tell them he had chlamydia. Which just pissed me off so much it makes me angry just talking about it. Coming in at #4: Finn Hudson: Oh ho ho. Finn Hudson makes me so angry. Let me just start off with everything he did (and didn’t do) to/for Kurt. Starting with the infamous “faggy scene” after Kurt tried to make amends with Finn for all the arguing they had been doing by redecorating their room. As ugly as it looked (lmao), he did his best to try and appeal to what a straight guy would like without making it too masculine so he would feel comfortable sleeping in there too. He tried to appeal to Finn’s interests as well as his own and had to do it all on short notice. But as soon as Finn saw it, the first thing he said was “are you freaking insane?” and Kurt just deflated. If you watch the scene, you can see it. You can physically see Kurt’s hard work all go to waste because of that comment. But then Finn follows it up with saying “I can’t live here, I’m a dude.” That line for me is the one that really made me dislike Finn very very strongly, because he not only said Kurt wasn’t a man to his face, he also views Kurt as nothing but his sexuality. That is further proven when he describes how uncomfortable he is around Kurt just because Kurt has a crush on him. And yes, Kurt was creepy, but after then, when they started living together, he just tried his best to make Finn feel as welcome and as comfortable as he can make him feel. But then sees that everything has been pointless, because Finn makes it a point to tell him that he puts his underwear on in the shower before he comes out when Kurt’s around. And that’s just fucked up. And a lot of people say that Finn “didn’t mean it” when he said the f-slur, but let me tell you something. You don’t just accidentally say something twice out of anger. If you really didn’t mean it, you would apologise right when it left your mouth. But Finn’s lack of an apology only proves that he meant every word of what he said. Next is when Finn refused to help Kurt out with Karofsky. I can only talk briefly about this because it actually makes me so fucking mad I can’t explain it. So, Rachel asks him to help Kurt out and confront Karofsky, right? And Finn refuses. Because, and I quote: “We both know I can help him more if I stay on top.” And I think he even says “Kurt will be fine” too, completely ignoring the fact that Kurt is so terrified to go to school, he’s losing weight (there are speculations that he cuts), but Finn doesn’t care about that. He only cares about the fact that he needs to stay popular. Oh and the fact that Karofsky plays right guard and wont guard him during the football game is he’s pissed and they’ll lose. He picks FOOTBALL and POPULARITY over his soon-to-be stepbrother’s MENTAL/EMOTIONAL/PYSICAL H E A L T H. I cannot explain how angry that makes me. Not to mention, the amounts of times he’s played victim. Especially with Rachel. One time that really pisses me off is when he goes “have you ever thought about what I’m going to do in New York?” and Rachel starts stammering over herself and assuring him that she’ll find something that he fits into since he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with his future. And then he asks her about California and Puck’s pool business. Even though he knows Rachel has been set on New York and NYADA since she was a little girl. He knows that she has all of those ambitions and she has an entire plan in her life and she’s already trying to shift those plans to fit Finn in with her. And for him to tell her that he wants her to give all of that up to come with him and Puck to California is actually more selfish than Rachel is. Oh! And not to mention he outed Santana too. Let’s not forget that. In front of basically the whole damn school too. He also kissed Emma. And he also cheated on Rachel with Quinn. And then actually broke up with Rachel when she made out with Puck a bit because she wanted to get him back for cheating on her and sleeping with Santana (even though it doesn’t excuse what she did at all, I just think Finn was being a hypocrite.) And he also cheated on Quinn with Rachel in the first season, and he led Rachel on for the entire first season, Or most of it at least. Coming in at #3: Mr. Schue: I’m just gonna speed through this: -He was a creep/pedo with both the girls and the boys -He had a savior complex and tried to force Emma’s OCD away and fix it instead of help her -He encouraged Emma’s crush on him even while he was married -He twerked with a bunch of minors -Suspended a minor for not wearing a bra she was uncomfortable in -He dealt really badly with Rachel’s crush on him -Never listened to his students’ input -hallucinated children while he was sick -Was very awkwardly touchy with his students -His best friend was 19 -refused to stop twerking even when offered the exchange for a trans student to use a staff bathroom to avoid getting bullied -overreacted after finding out Terry wasn’t pregnant Now the moments you’ve all been waiting for. Coming in at #2: Noah Puckerman: Now I was stuck on Puck for a while, I didn’t think he really was that bad of a guy for a long time. But just one thing Quinn says was enough to sway me and put him this high on my list. In one of the earlier episodes, Puck starts teasing her and being a dick after finding out she’s pregnant. And so she says: “You got me drunk off of wine coolers and I was feeling fat that day...” Now if you break that sentence down, she literally says “you got me drunk.” implying that Puck himself wasn’t drunk when this all took place. Meaning, Noah Puckerman r@ped Quinn Fabray. She never cheated on Finn. Puck purposely got her drunk just so he could get what he wanted. Especially considering she never put out and she was president of the Celibacy Club. Now must I say anything else? No. I didn’t think so. And finally, coming in at #1: Blaine Anderson: I know Blaine is everyone’s smol bean gay bb boy. (*gag) but I have to tell you that he is not a good person whatsoever. I’ll give him credit though. In the 2nd season he was really sweet and I actually really liked him. But as the seasons progressed, he got worse. In S3E5, Blaine and Kurt go to a gay bar together, and Kurt helps Blaine out after he gets too drunk. Then as soon as he tries to get Blaine in the car, Blaine starts coming onto him and kissing his neck and trying to convince him to have s3x with him, even though Kurt keeps repetitively saying no. And then he plays the victim after Kurt blows up at him and says “well I’m sorry for trying to be spontaneous and fun!” and then proceeds to walk home, getting mad at Kurt for nothing. Then in another episode. I think it was later in season 3, Kurt meets Chandler. And Blaine had been ignoring him for a while before that, so Kurt starts talking to Chandler only because he makes him feel good about himself. And he obviously thought it was okay because Blaine did the same thing with Sebastian but called him all the time and flirted with him and dirty danced with him etc. So when Blaine goes through Kurt’s phone, he finds the messages and makes a huge deal out of it and accuses Kurt of cheating on him. Then publicly humiliates him in front of the Glee club with a song about cheating. And then proceeds to go and cheat on him anyway. And then as soon as they were going to NYADA together, Blaine didn’t like all the attention Kurt was getting after he started to get more fit and more attractive and he was extremely jealous of him and over protective, not letting Kurt have any other male attention. At all. And Blaine is just super stingy with Kurt and doesn’t let him live his life and then pays victim whenever he gets confronted by him. Oh and not to mention he dated the one person that made Kurt’s life a living hell for the longest time and decided to rub it in his face. So there we have it folks. My new least favorite Glee characters and all the reasons why. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#glee #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #finn hudson #artie abrams #brittany s pierce #santana lopez #rachel berry #quinn fabray

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tiffgeorgina · 4 years

Note

What are your headcanons and/or feelings about Blair and Harris?

Ahhh first of all thank you for your patience anon! I’ve had a wild (and unfortunately pretty uninspired) couple of weeks but now i have a ton of ideas so here they are. btw these are super unorganized and non-time-centric and pretty much plotless and random lmao anyways let’s get into it:

-harris is a by-default, die-hard back sleeper. sure, he’ll spoon and cuddle, but he won’t fall asleep like that. he’ll just lie awake all night if he’s anywhere but on his back. blair’s also kinda weirded out by being the little spoon just bc he isn’t used to it. he’s been sleeping next to a woman half a foot shorter than him all his life so it’s basically weird all around. harris will roll over like thirty minutes into the night (when he thinks blair is asleep) and they’ll both get comfortable from there.

-blair’s a really tactile person though and he likes knowing that the person next to him in bed is still there if that makes sense? plus hes always waking up freezing so he likes to be close to harris. one night kinda early in their monogamous-ish relationship he wakes up at like 3 in the morning and decides to just. crawl on top of harris. harris is obvs on his back, and blair just hitches his outside leg over harris’s hips, rests his head on his chest, and sort of lies mostly on his stomach and practically on top of harris. he sleeps like the dead for the rest of the night.

-harris wakes up and he’s like “well fuck i cant move now” not that he wants to and it’s a saturday morning anyways so he just cards his fingers through blair’s hair and harris thinks he could get used to this

-they both tend to leave their wedding rings on when they’re together because once they both lost them and they only had 15 mins until harris needed to meet corky and it was a huge disaster. blair loves to spin harris’s around his finger since he’s almost always holding his hand in some capacity anyways, and harris loves to just stare at blair’s bc godDAMN if that isn’t the most beautiful piece of jewelry he’s ever seen. first, it symbolizes a pretty excellent arrangement between blair and tiff that makes it possible for harris to even be with him. second, it’s set with the biggest stone he’s ever seen. it’s a 12 carat emerald cut emerald and it’s gorgeous in the light ok im done talking about blair’s wedding ring lmao

-once corky walks in on them in the harris house and they’re obv shaken as hell, but she doesn’t even care. she’s like “oh hey guys” and just walks to the kitchen. obviously they’re like “uh what the hell” so they go ask her what her nonchalance is all about and she’s just like “i know. ive known for months. kissing at the country club? subtle” but she’s obviously just teasing and harris is just like “you aren’t pissed?” and she’s like “should i be?” and blair comes out of his shock for a minute to be like “uh yeah kinda?” and harris just elbows him like “why are you looking a gift horse in the mouth” and she’s like “yeah, i don’t think i really care. huh. i don’t really care” and no offense but it’s kind of the best day of harris’s life

-harris has a lot of traumatic memories from conversion therapy (showtime you’re wild asf for writing this in fuk u) and blair’s really good at calming him down if harris is panicking. blair’s been through his fair share of traumatic shit as we all know and tiff made him start going to a therapist, so he knows a bunch of techniques to prevent/stop panic attacks. harris is actually shocked at how quickly blair can calm him down. he’s curious too as to how he knew how to do that, but he figures it’s a question for another day

-that day comes a couple weeks later when they’re lying in bed, blair in what is now his standard sleeping position: outside leg over harris’s waist and his head on harris’s chest, practically draped over harris. harris can’t sleep, so he’s just staring at blair and running his hands over his back when he notices how rough his skin feels. he can’t really see, but he remembers to check in the morning before blair wakes up, and he notices--really notices for the first time--that his back and arms are littered with scars. he asks him the next day at breakfast, and he’s never seen blair freeze up like that. he explains his whole past with his dad (slowly and not without crying) and above all harris is just really glad that he could help blair and that blair trusts him enough to tell him

-MOMENTARY NSFW: this is kind of already canon from 2x02 but blair likes having his hair pulled ok goodbye

-they seem like the type of couple that would be together for years? like YEARS. they come out in like 2010 and get married in 2011 after having divorced tiff and corky in like the mid-90s no i do not take constructive criticism

-again, they’re in bed, standard sleeping position. harris can generally tell when blair’s fallen asleep; he can feel and see when his breathing evens out. he’s running his hands over blair’s back, just watching him, and he just looks so serene and peaceful that he can’t help but whisper “i love you” for the first time. of course this has to be the ONE time harris misjudges blair’s sleep and blair looks up. thankfully blair smiles, kisses him, and says “i love you too”

-harris’s gay and out friends hear that harris is going steady with this guy he met, and they’re nothing short of shocked. roger harris? monogamous? that’s absurd. so they meet this guy (blair duh dkjfhglkfdjh), and they’re surprised to actually recognize him from all those tabloids and TV spots and shit. (secretly, they had always had the suspicion that blair was gay, but the confirmation is nice). he’s actually pretty likable, and they’re about to feel bad for him (because they know harris is the human manifestation of the word “infidelity”) until they see how they act together. like, harris seems really genuinely into him. his friends have never seen him like this, all lovestruck and shit. his friends are somehow even more shocked and genuinely cannot believe their eyes. they talk to him about his relationship with blair later and he’s like “what can i say? i genuinely like him. i really, really like him” and they’re shocked speechless

-blair is a TOTAL baby gay and harris thinks it’s equal parts adorable and hilarious. harris didn’t realize blair hadn’t been with other men before he blurted it out at the country club, but it makes so much sense that harris is almost embarrassed he didn’t realize it sooner. harris will use any sort of gay slang and blair will just be utterly lost. blair is always super eager to learn though and harris ofc thinks it's adorable how excited he gets to learn and fit in so he’s happy to indulge him. blair’s kinda like a boomer trying to use gen z slang for a while but he eventually gets the hang of it, and sooner than later blair can take off his wedding ring and pass for an out-and-proud gay man to anybody who looks in his direction

whew i think that’s all ive got in me for rn. these ended up being super harris-centric but irdc dfjhgdfk. again thank you for your patience and thank you for sending this in anon!! def feel free to ask me anything/demand i write anything about anything black monday lol i hope yall liked these!

#black monday #congressman harris #blair pfaff #headcanons #blair pfaff/roger harris #andrew rannells #tuc watkins #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #otp: wait. i'm not gay. // neither am i.#anonymous #slander #open mic night

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bunnyriviere · 3 years

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my god i cant get my head out of this mess so imma rant, then MAYBE i can focus on my assignment like damn babe i thought your passion is stats, why are you obsessing over a guy that doesnt care enough. huh? care about stats instead babe!!!!!! i just want to only have to care about maths but i know my life is ruined if i dont have relationships, so i try. but i must suck at it so bad if everything just ends in flame like this, im so tired im teary eyes.

im on my phone and honestly dont know how to do the uh line to cut short the post so if anybody unfortunately see this im sr :(

this is not even about a romantic relationship, i dont even know why i just couldnt like a person like that but damn fine. this is about a male friend i made in grade 11 i guess. i have never liked men. im afraid of them and dont want to have to interact with them ever. i know its bad and i should change but i just really want them away from me im sorry..... so i wasnt even friendly with him, but i was polite, i know how to be a decent person. he was friendly and nice and friends to all which only made me think aw geez just stop being friendly i know this is not because you like me. but i was eating the snack he brought to class anytime he brought it without much thought cause he offered i aint gonna say no. all the while still not consider him a friend. not until a friend said im not being nice if im eating his food while still not seeing him as a friend. and i have always feel bad about not being friendlier towards men in general and he made the 1st move which made it easier for me to just go along. so i did and thats how we became friends.

hes really nice and i mean it. i think really highly of him. maybe its just me having bad luck so i havent met many that are nice?? i really believe they are just myth tbh, im about to settle for that thought. and this guy is really how i wish is the standard for all men. hes just that good, i have no complain. i truly like him and glad that my friend said something cause otherwise we probably wouldnt be friends.

again no romantic feeling. i just have to, remind the invisible audiences of this post i guess.

now we all know covid. and because of it, i couldnt come home and wanted to lay in bed even more than normal. so i didnt push for it when he said he couldnt meet anybody in the summer because he didnt want to accidently give somebody it. just saying that cause this is a 2 ways road right, nothing is ever only his fault, its also mine. i want to rant about my feelings but i dont want to dismiss any mistakes i made yk. so we didnt meet up then.

christmas came and before then we were talking about christmas gift and i didnt wanna any so i didnt prepare anything also. this person is too nice and i dont want him to feel bad. but anw i just thought maybe we can still meet up even if its not for gift exchanging. but i didnt ask or anything at all cause well, hes from here, he has family and friends that are definitely closer to him, and he had work. i know hes busy and if he wanna hang out he know where to find me. i just dont want to accidentally add something more onto his list of to do. he would be too nice to say no. and we are not that close i dont want to add more work for him. i dont have relatives or friends here other than him so im free anytime if he wanted to meet up. but that didnt happen, i dont think we talked at all. which fine i hate to admit but i was hurt. ugh hate showing how vulnerable i am. yuck. yikes. -100/10.

i just didnt think about it? i didnt try to reach out either so that was my fault too but just, if he didnt care then i wont either. so i really didnt think about him anymore.

came reading week! it really was 1 year from the last time i saw him honestly. he asked to meet up and if i want to go somewhere and tbh no im in the countryside rn is that the corect word so there are no place to go. but i remembered this 2ndhand place i like to go sometimes and i hadnt gone in a while so why not. so we agreed on that. and i know he was probably just tired, and there are people who sigh a lot, its not uncommon. but not seeing him for a long while and knowing this is a place i suggested, him doing that really made me feel bad. i probably shouldnt, but couldnt get the thought that he was probably doing this just because hes friendly not because hes friend with me. it fucking sucked. when we got out and he dropped me back at my home i still felt so bad he didnt get to enjoy himself so i asked if we could watch jojo together. yeah he loves jojo. i dont really care for anime im so sr i prefer realing manga lmao sr.

now ok maybe im still being dumb, probably. but tldr i truly believe people can be friends and affectionate even when they are from opposite sex. it didnt work out so well cause i got molested lmao cause some other guy thought that was cool to do. so that honestly worsen my uh wariness of men. but like i said, i think ive said it, i trust this person. honestly i do, we hug a lot and i had never felt afraid of it. i believe he wont do anything. im just really comfortable around him. so we cuddled while watching anime, that had happened before im really sr if you think thats wrong, i still believe that could happen.

but maybe its because i was tense from thinking he really didnt enjoy hanging out with me that much. i kept connecting remembering what the molester did and while i just knew i swear i knew he wouldnt do anything like that, i couldnt get it out of my head. i felt bad for that but there were just 2 things that happened so similar to what happened with the molester. haizz he kinda laced our fingers together but it wasnt handholding, same thing happened once before with m-dude and it felt weird but i didnt want to question that friendship so i didnt. and at some point of jojo i kinda jumped and he held me back, not pulled me back or anything but was holding me in place, and it was probably to make me feel safe but honestly if anybody even use a little bit of force i will just think of when i finally got the courage to turn around to confront the other dude for touching me, he held me back and i couldnt move at all. i think i froze a bit.

argh back to the main story. see how i totally suck? hahaha just blaming this friend for something somebody else did. im so sorry, i suck.

well after that we picked up talking again but idk! was it me overthinking? was it? because it felt like he didnt want to talk to me at all. it was, how to say it. he was friendly yes he talked hmm. damn how-- it felt like he didnt care for what i said. its a feeling idk how to put into words. and that sucks. he didnt seem interested in me before, felt happy enough when we cuddled, then back to being uninterested. i knew i know he doesnt want me romantically. damnit am i only good now for hugs. are we friends? what i meant is not sex but am i only good for physical stuff? i dont fucking know, the m-dude obviously just want a fwb and i was to trusting to notice. is this my gut feeling or my anxiety idk!

another side story. another guy suddenly expressed interested in me right when covid hit but it was because he couldnt get over his ex so i stopped talking to him for a while and picked it back up when i thought he was no longer idk being annoying about it. i thought he had to at least like me as a person to even express he liked me romantically. but apparently not. he looked so uniterested suddenly and denied when i asked, then stopped reading my texts.

so you see. i just cant if haiz ok do- do anybody like me? just as a person? idk.

god i knew i fucking suck for being so sensitive and anxious and im sr for wanting stuff but maybe i want you to look like you care a bit when i said you are reminding me of the m-dude, instead of saying ok we can talk less then. i already felt like you dont want to talk to me, you dont have to say that...

officially crying heyho.

just saying no you dont dont like talking to me when your actions were saying the opposite is not cutting it either... i also thought highly of the covid confession guy too but what happened now. im sorry for comparing you to others! but i learn from experiences... and this was sus... (yah its a joke i cant help it.)

and if i just agreed and stopped talking to him right it just, felt like a confirmation that yeah its true hes just letting me hug him not because im his friend and he knows i like hugs so he lets me. but its more like its convenient that a girl is hugging him so he wont say no. something like that. that sucks. thats all im good for. if i were his friend, it would include the talking too.

ah!! i know we are not close, we are both casual friend. he is definitely not on my top list to tell stuff to but damn i still like him enough to hurt. and to not asking for too much.

so anw i kept talking with the anxiety that never got solved and that made me frustrated and i picked at his insecurity to made him hate me enough to stop talking to me cause i couldnt bring myself to stop, id feel so bad. this is really toxic and i admit this is not the first time ive done it, to a different person but its the same thing.

hahaha act like i hate him while just want him to see how i feel so bad. yeah im a tsundere.

it worked so i stopped talking to him for a week and focused on talking to my other friends. friends i know without a doubt love me and want me because i really didnt feel that with him at all. sorry i know you were tired with covid.

that made me felt better and i was not in panic mode anymore, i can calmly assess things now. and before, i felt bad because i truly believed i was just seeing things, i couldnt see pass my anxiety and was blaming him for what, nothing. he did want to talk to me. but my mind was clearer after that one week and yeah i cant really make more excuses? yes i was sensitive and made things worse, but there must be something for me to pick up first. it didnt just come out of thin air.

so i sent him some texts saying that, because just leaving without a word is bad communication. i have to tell him and at least give him a chance to change i guess? did he need change? im doubting myself.

i- hm he just said yeah his look and way of talking really make him look like hes tired and uninterested, and laughed at my marie kondo joke. you know the one. idk! all i saw in that was yeah thats how it is, accept it. and i-- i, cant? i dont want to... i dont want to :(

but my mindset for just about anything is value the process, not the result, like as long as you put work in! thats great! and he- he was, talking... he put work in..... i would feel so bad to deny it. but at the same time, it was not enough... i hate! to say you need to do at least this and that! but it didnt feel like enough..... im sorry :(((( i am.

ive talked about my tendency to lash out. last time i didnt want it but i had to get away quick so i didnt mean it but i still did it. but this time i was truly angry. because i just wished there was more care for me but i know that was all there was, and i couldnt do anything about it. couldnt even ignore him. he was even drier then, and i got it, i lashed out at him, ofc he wasnt going to be friendly. but just why were you trying so hard... no, no it was not trying hard, you were answering texts at the speed of once every 2 days. why were you answering at all? you clearly didnt want to. but again so was i. did i really have a say.

so i sent angry texts at him. about how fake his friendliness was, did he really consider me friend, why did he keep saying no it was not that he was uninterested while it was obvious that he was. also that i want to fight him. i really do want to. hopefully he will beat me up hard enough that i can be in a coma and die in 9 months idk. (listen 9 months is enough time to make a new human, if im not awake by then, you need to let me go, thats my wish.)

he said that no he doesnt like to fight and thats the last text i got from him.

because ofc i dont hate him him, the whole him idk what im saying. just angry and hate that hes not matching me on how we value this relationship i guess. not besties like how he likes to joke, but eh, was hoping more than what i was sensing. i still sent a text being like ok fine do you still want to talk and if so how do you want me to do. but he didnt answer it in time so i decided for him that nah we wont talk anymore.

heyho i was sad, i am sad. and ok hear me out, HEAR ME, i dont use tarot for future but just for my feelings and how to deal with them, and my deck said ok babe this is the end, you will have to move on now. so i will.

tbh lmao for every relationships that i emotionally invested in. i always make an essay on my feelings because thats how i conclude things, and so i wont forget that my feelings are legit. so the moment i started this post, hes dead to me i guess.

wow this post is long. but i did really like him so.

im moving to uni city next month but i know he will leave in the summer so i wont have to worry about seeing him then. and probably not further in the future either, we go to different uni and are quite far away and our common are not gonna question things i dont think. dont think they would even notice, we are not in a group or anything. and even if i do end up meeting him. my feelings while was anger, but it stemmed from sadness and disappointment so it wouldnt be too bad. on the other hand... m-dude..... i am afraid of meeting you, lets please please please not meet damnit.

#xxxpauline

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alexisdrems · 3 years

Text

Ice I want to talk to you

I do not hate you you're not a horrible person but enough is enough

But I need to come foward

Say I'm an asshole all you want but this is the truth...

I never meant to hurt you

I jsut wanted yo try my hardest to reassure you but I was kinda off my game of comforting others that day

And I'm so sorry you misunderstood it as me trying to attack you for your depression and anxiety problems

I wouldn't ever try to purposely do that ever to you or anyone because I know it's not ok and I should know more than anybody how it feels to feel like everyone gates you and will abandon you.. So please please understand I just wanted to help but couldn't do my best that day

But the way you're responding to this isn't ok this isn't me saying " omg you're a bad person!! " this is me saying you've kinda fucked up yourself it's not bad to acknowledge you did something wrong

Yes I kinda sent you a message and made a post that doesn't solve anything but at least I'm not trying to witch hunt you like you're trying to witch hunt me from my perspective, you need to know something extremely important. Witch hunting doesn't make you better or righteous, kinda makes you an ass. And I know you felt hurt but please know I'm sorry I came off differently than intended but you also gotta known that going after someone and never leaving them be.

Doesn't make anything better

Only makes it worse

That's why people tell people not to go after and attack people even if they did something awful on purpose

Because 1. It solves literally nothing to attack ppl 2. It doesn't make you better than them at all or right depending on the situation it kinda makes you jsut as much as an asshole as they seem or you think they are.

Another thing the memes I may be realizing I feel I wasn't really reacting to them but to this whole situation

I get confrontation anxiety which is why I've been hiding from you

Because even if I'm a 16 year old I am scared of you finding and trying to attack and mock me

I can't handle confrontation I become numb and shaky and it's hard for me to face you...

You're actions have had a little impact on my trust in people.. And I'm saying this as an explanation why I keep hiding on alts

Because I am SCARED I am not a fan of confrontation but I know hiding will not solve anything either so I'm trying my hardest to solve this

I just want us to come to a civil discussion

And then finally move on from this

I wanna move on

And I want you to move on too

It's the only way foward

Ik it's hard to take me seriously because you hate me... But it was a few mistakes I made... And I'm apologizing gor the misunderstanding and my irrational decisions made from extreme stress.

I'm coming forward now because I gotta do it eventually

I have to face you and it's scary

It really is

Doing this gets you no where

It makes you seem kinda like a dick

Yes even if you feel revenge is sweet but

How would you feel

If you made mistakes and were being attacked for it? For me it's upsetting and stressful

I cant get all this off my mind... And I learned that we both need closure on this we need to move on ice we can't keep doing this

We have to put aside everything and talk it out

Because that's the mature way of doing it

Not attacking me and not me hiding

We have to talk and move on

I want to finally put it behind us

And we can move on from one another

I'm scared all you'll respond with is mocking me but I'm gonna hope you understand what I want

I want to just talk

And afterwards agree that we dont well with eachother and go our seperate ways

I just wanna see you improve I have huge hope you can change and improve yourself from someone who thinks trying to witch hunt someone is the best way to respond I know you can, we're not perfect and ik I'm way better than who I was when I was your age when faked depression and hurt innocent kind people

So I have great hope you can improve yourself too

And learn moving on is the only way to a brighter path and life in general

We have to apologize to eachother

And move on

That's the only way out

And if you ignore this.. And mock me instead... Then that were your actions not mine... I can't be held accountable for what you no liek you're not for what I do or did.

I'm sorry for a long message but I'm tired of hiding and being in fear of you

I want to try and solve this

So please if you're willing...

Come talk to me... Because that's the only way we're gonna move on

cryptics

the person who never meant to hurt you and just wants this to end and for everyone to move on

Ik you'll either continue trying to mock me...

Or maybe like I hope will come to me putting aside everything that happened and just talking civilly because that's the mature way of solving this

I am tempted to hide from confronting you and running away

But I should know...

Running away... Doesn't make the problem go away

I'm only away from it

And I think I'm ready to stand up and talk

That's all

For you to leave me alone

For us to move on from it and eachother

We don't mix ice we don't at all

So I think it's better if we go our separate ways after this if you do decide to talk to me

This is the better way to solve this

I'll be anxiously waiting to see if you see this

I truly only want to stop all this

I'm tired of this I'm done hiding its time

To Charlie btw

I don't hate you either

But you did fuck up too

Don't take this as ne saying you're horrible ppl

I'm scared you'll assume that without another word

You must acknowledge you're mistakes like I'm acknowledging my own please...

I should end it herr now this post has gotten too lengthy

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makiema · 4 years

Text

I was just reading Snk 123 again and somehow I’m just so sad that Isayama literally flipped Levi out of Eren’s life just like that. I mean this has been hard to accept for a long time now but with all the miscommunication between AM and Eren in this chapter, it is even harder to take in. Levi has played such a big role in Eren’s development and has always understood Eren better than anybody. His pov is extremely important at this point. And I’m just a lot frustrated at how Isayama keeps pushing him out of the whole conundrum. So basically I wanted to write a meta but I was just too sad to write a meta so below the cut is just a whole rant about Levi and Eren and why we need Levi back in Eren’s life. Eh, it’s like really long but I just had to get this off my chest.

I just want Levi to talk with Eren once more before the manga concludes. His POV is extremely important rn, more than ever, given that he was the only one who acknowledged Eren for his whole self ( yes both his darker side and the baby side). Additionally he was the only one who talked to Eren in his language (like freedom and choice) something that would later influence Eren’s outlook and consequently his speeches too. I don’t have anything against AM (in fact I love both of them a lot) but really the fact that they CHOSE to see only one side of Eren is something that’s undesirable and unfortunate. I mean, every living person has a darker twist associated with them. Nobody is flawless and it’s important for us as well as people around us to acknowledge the flaws, to accept a person for who he is. Choosing to ignore the darker aspects and accepting only the idealised version of someone is rather naive and immature behaviour.

And here I just wanna point out how Levi was always aware about the darkness that Eren possesses inside him. He has always spoken in terms of duality when it came to Eren like to him, Eren was both a “tameless monster�� that might be dangerous and also his “source of all miracles” ,i.e., his hope. Levi is someone who never had a Romantic perception of Eren. But for AM, it was just the opposite. Could it be because AM were somewhat afraid that if they chose to see Eren’s darkness it might make them love him less and also shatter the idealism they associate with him? And am I blaming AM for having this outlook? Hell no. It’s a personal take but tbh as teenagers that’s not uncommon. I mean we do like to think that the people closest to us are absolutely perfect. We like to believe that they can never be in the wrong, specially when it comes to family and childhood friends who’ve been there for us since forever. It’s hard to accept that they might have a darker side to them. AM love Eren so much that it makes them turn a blind eye to reality and they “did not want to see” the slow transformation in Eren because that could lead them to confront Eren’s demons.

However, coming back to Levi, he really foreshadowed Eren’s whole character arc in his understanding of Eren’s nature. Yes, Eren does have a darker psychological side: he is essentially a monster that cannot be hold in check by anybody. Mikasa and Armin tried in 112, but sadly they couldn’t get through to him. And also, let’s talk about the difference in approaching Eren when it comes to AM and Levi. Armin, in all the instances he managed to talk Eren out of his delirious state, has always made references to the outside world and elaborated on the beauty and variety that lies there. It was kind of like projecting his own dreams onto Eren and not realizing that Eren doesn’t care about oceans or mountains or deserts or anything. For Eren, it is not about the beauty of the world or the variety in it, it is the FREEDOM and the FREEDOM OF CHOICE that a person who’s not oppressed has when it comes to seeing and experiencing the world. In contrast to Armin’s way, we have Levi’s way of approaching Eren where he talks about the different taste in air outside the walls because the outside has what BOTH OF THEM value: FREEDOM. Levi also talked about how hellish the outside is, in contrast to Armin always associating beauty with it. And when Eren later talks to Falco he tells that what awaits him might just be another hell, but it could be hope too- the hope of finally being free. Levi has a superior understanding of Eren, of what he needs to hear, etc.- something that can’t be just thrown out of the window. (Isayama did just that by denying any involvement from Levi when it comes to Eren’s recent actions/attitude. He denied us the talk that was much needed)

Now the VN isn’t exactly canon given that it wasn’t written by Isayama but we can consider it semi-canon as it required Isayama’s approval. So, the whole thing highlighted the message that “Humanity’s strongest understands Eren Jaeger very well” and yeah, even going by the manga we know Levi is integral in Eren’s development and is the only one who saw through the duality in Eren, understood his drive and his will. So why all the focus on Levi’s understanding of Eren if it is supposed to amount to nothing in the end? I get that Isayama wanted to set it up like Levi’s role in Eren’s life is over but it is just so abrupt?? I mean, okay I accept that when Levi said “He’s fifteen. Everyone has a phase like that”, it was an indirect reference to the fact that Eren is in the teenage phase™️ where he wants to be left alone with only his friends and therefore, Hange shouldn’t be so inquisitive (and maybe Levi too should not concern himself with Eren as much as he used to before??) Like, if we look at this way, it justifies Levi’s distance from Eren post the basement revelation. Since then, we got no other moment of conversation between them while before that, there’d be plenty. I get Isayama’s motif of taking Levi out of Eren’s life to add fuel to Eren’s gradual isolation from everybody but then why did he bother to put so much emphasis on Levi’s understanding of Eren in the beginning? It should have some ulterior purpose right? If the Rumbling does happen and the world is really destroyed (i’m not ruling out the possibility of the world destruction not happening im just considering the situation if it really does comes to the worst), there has to be someone who reproaches Eren, someone who berates him in a way that he understands and reflects on what he has done; someone who brings up the topic of if this is really what freedom demands and actually gives us the answer to the pertinent question: if this was the only way? And I cant think about anyone else really suited for this other than Levi- someone who realized the potential for danger that Eren holds? someone who always realized his desire for freedom? (Also, Levi and Hange are the only senior officers left right now so it ideally should be either of them but because Levi played a greater role in Eren’s life compared to Hange, I side more for him being the one to deal with Eren.)

Also, Armin pointed out how he always thought he understood Eren even more than Mikasa but it turned out that he actually didn’t; the same went for Mikasa in 123 when she accepted that she’s been seeing only one side of Eren. Both of them could never accept the plausibility of Eren doing something so monstrous. But, Levi could. From the very beginning. Not that it made him love Eren any less I mean, he did say that he’d willingly go to war again to protect Eren. Besides the vow he made to Erwin, the fact that Zeke could be controlling Eren and it’s Zeke’s fault that the higher-ups don’t trust Eren, also became a crucial factor for Levi to decide going against authority and killing Zeke. That’s how much Levi still loves Eren, even after Liberio. So all I am saying is that Levi should be let in Eren’s life once this all is over and the manga concludes because imo there is no one better qualified to address Eren and talk to him as he is now. Only someone who had a vague idea about Eren’s darkness can and also should talk him down. If the Rumbling really happens, and all hell is really let loose, then is this really the freedom that Eren wanted? Is this a price worth paying? Given that Levi is the only one who has spoken explicitly about freedom to Eren, his take on this becomes extremely important and that’s why we need a Levi-Eren talk or at least Levi’s pov on Eren and the Rumbling.

The manga has established that Levi understands Eren’s drive for freedom and his monstrous essence better than anybody else. In fact, it is an undeniably important aspect of his character arc and unless he gets to have a final conversation with Eren then his arc will never really get a proper closure. At least, this is how I feel and I’m also sad that Isa made him so non-inclusive in Eren’s life just like that and in his place, AM couldn’t understand Eren at all. I mean let’s face it he is Eren’s mentor and his influence on Eren is so visible that this cutting away of Levi from Eren’s life just doesn’t sit well with me. Maybe it’s because I’m biased idk but I strongly feel like Levi should get a final say on Eren and his behaviour, because right now, as it stands, he is the only one who got the closest to understanding Eren, all of him.

#idk im just rambling #and im sad #it just hurts that Levi would become so unimportant #like idk why all the focus if it means nothing in the end #im bleh #snk #ereri #sorry for the rant #levi ackerman #eren jaeger #levieren #snk 123

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faunusrights · 4 years

Text

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

She chose not to dwell on it.

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in.

[...]

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are.

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke.

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.”

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

#liveblog #rwby #offal hunt

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