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#and i'd probably still enjoy how his content is structured and everything
fawkesthefox · 1 year
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the desire to watch dhmis theory videos vs the desire to Not watch Matpat videos
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amysubmits · 1 year
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Benefits of submission are obvious to me, esp as an anxious type it’s like “please take control so I can stop overthinking” but honestly I feel bad bc like the benefit seems one-sided. What does a dom get? “You have to think for 2 of us and be responsible for my anxiety and give me structure and etc etc” It’s like asking them to have a second job while I get to quit and go on vacation.
Hey :)
I think the benefits that the dom gets can vary depending on the dom and what they like, but also on the specifics of a D/s dynamic. But, I personally don't think any D/s dynamic should be one sided, and I don't think most are one sided. I sometimes feel like content about d/s can make it seem like everything is about the sub or everything is about the dom, which might contribute to that confusion.
But I think some of it is just natural, too. I think when you're wired as a sub, it's naturally a lot easier to understand the benefits of being a sub, and harder to understand the benefits of being a dom, because you just are geared to want something different than doms want.
It's probably minutiae, but I don't think subs hand responsibility for their anxiety over to their doms. They might help you with your anxiety, but it's always your responsibility still.
While I get what you mean about how being a sub feels like a relief from responsibility, but CD has expressed to me before that for him, the idea of "letting someone take control" sounds awful to him, not like relief. So in the same way that I can't fully understand why he likes being a dom, he also can't fully understand why I like being a sub...because he just isn't wired to enjoy letting go of control in the way that I am.
I really do think every relationship is different, but I'll try to give a bit more detail about my own relationship in case that helps.
I wouldn't say that being a sub is a vacation for me. While it does relieve me of responsibility in some areas, I still have plenty of responsibility of my own. For us, CD holds more responsibility than I do overall and that's because he has the final say in most things. However, I have lots of 'regular' responsibilities still. I have a job, I have responsibilities that are assigned to me related to caring for our house (I do a little more than half, I'd say), I have responsibilities related to my role in our dynamic like I have responsibility to share my emotions and struggles, toa advocate for my needs, etc.
There are some other areas where CD takes more responsibility than I do, like he manages our finances, taxes, insurance, etc. He also handles everything for our vehicles and household repairs. I don't want to minimize the fact that CD does take more responsibility than I do, and that is a big benefit to me...but when comparing myself to vanilla couples, I don't think there's a massive difference in how much responsibility I shoulder vs how much your 'average' vanilla person shoulders in their relationship.
And I also can give you an example of what CD gets out of D/s. It's basically his love language. When I trust him to take responsibility for me or for us, that feels amazing to him. He feels loved the best/deepest/most when he feels trusted by me and we use our D/s to help him feel that. So although taking responsibility/leading is a stress in some ways, it has this huge pay off for him and the weight of the responsibility is worth it to him. He also says that it's sort of about a sense of purpose? In the same way that subs who get to live D/s find themselves feeling like they've really "found themselves" in submission, doms have a version of the same thing. It's like...a form of authentic living that has a big emotional pay off for him.
He also gets to have things 'his way' in a lot of small ways. If he wants something specific for dinner, that's what we make. If he wants us to go to the grocery store at a certain time, that's when we go. If he wants us to watch a movie, we watch it. If he wants to read a book together, we read it. If he's in the mood for rough sex, that's what we do. Of course, all of this is within the limitations of his wants not being contradictory to my needs and my consent/safeword but generally speaking, he gets what he wants. So there's that benefit.
I'm probably forgetting bits...but I hope this still helped some. Again, I think it's super common for subs to feel the way you do. but I think that's largely just our instinct to see things through our own perspective. It's challenging to 'remember' how d-types often are just wired to want different things. :)
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jeanmoreaux · 7 months
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why did you dislike ses4? and was there anything you enjoyed recently?
oh boy. i think it would be easier to tell you what i DID like about the season. i can count it on one hand. (1) ruby. she's my queen. (2) adam making it explicitly clear that he identifies with the bi label. (3) gillian anderson. she's just soooooo ugh. i love her. (4) NONE OF THE BAD BITCHES CHOOSING OTIS. maeve and ruby both deserve better fr. (5) aimee reclaiming some agency. cannot even think of a sixth thing. that's how bad this season did not worked for me. i said i was not gonna rant but i guess now i am gonna rant a little (trying to keep it short for both of our sakes).
i think there is definitely some more technical and objective stuff that's wrong and with this season and then there is some stuff i personally didn't like but that may work for other people.
objectively, i think the writing was severely lacking in quality. it was SO LAZY. even uninspired. the plot was meandering and the arcs fell extremely flat as a consequence. they randomly introduced interesting internal and external conflicts, sometimes even towards the end of the season, that could have spanned the entire eight episodes, but then they often just drop those ideas like hot potatoes—sometimes by the next episode, sometimes by THE NEXT SCENE (e.g. otis basically taking over a surrogate parent role or feeling like losing his mom, basically everything ruby-centric that wasn't oatis-related, jackson questioning his sexuality, etc.)!! other storylines that didn't have to last for several epsiodes (like jackson's cancer scare) went on for way too long. and the storylines they kept up for several episodes were mostly half-assed. the vivian & beau thing was surface level at most (and rushed af), the ace thing was soooo buried and shoved aside for stupider plotlines (they did o so dirty istfg), same with their approach to adding to the discourse on disability/accessibility, the exploration of jean's sister dealing with her abuse was just almost non-existent, eric's storyline reconciling his sexual and religious identities relied an cheap gimmicks, maeve finding her voice as a writer, jean's postnatal depression (how half-assed that was truly hurt my psych major brain), etc..... and then they dragged these storylines out without giving them any *substance*. like. i SKIPPED two episodes and missed NOTHING (i even did go back to jump through it just now to verify and, yup, did not miss a piece of information i did not gain or infer from the episodes i watched). you know a story is aimlessly wandering around when people can skip 2h of content and not even miss a shrivel of character development. i'd claim almost all storylines and arcs were handled badly. the only one that was well-structured and well-executed (from a storytelling standpoint) was the groff family arc (mind you, not the individual arcs but their arc as a family). AND I DON'T EVEN AGREE WITH THAT STORYLINE FROM AN IDEOLOGICAL STANDPOINT BUT STILL I LIKED IT THE MOST BECAUSE WRITING WISE IT WAS AT LEAST COMPETENTLY HANDLED!!!! like, that's so unfortunate. for me. and don't even get me started on the tonal dissonance WHITIN scenes and BETWEEN scenes. it was so so jarring at times and made the humour NOT land AT ALL (especially the physical humour because holyyy shit what was that). idk if that's editing's fault or if the writers made these decisions or if the producers and executives are to blame, but the inconsistency of mood and tone just really made me feel disconnected from the emotional moment. felt absolutely nothing about what was happening to these characters.
on a more personal level, i took issues with the way they wrote some characters and the content of some arcs. they really reduced maeve's character to nothing (like. i am sorry but her dialogue is so flat and boring, the most meaningful thing she said all season was probably at her mom's funeral.) otis literally learned jackshit. he's still kind of a self-absorbed dick. o was so underutilised and disrespected (they didn't even try to make the ace thing an important plotline). aimee was turned into a grotesque parody of herself. eric's story focusing on religion was HELL to me personally. like, i grew up catholic (which is different to the christianity eric practices but still...), and ngl the way they handled his 'religious' awakening just sent me up the wall. as a queer person who was very involved in church life from a young age and had to reconcile her faith with her queer identity, i felt like his story made a mockery of that struggle and that inner conflict. the visions were ridiculous. it felt like the writers were making fun of the struggle queer people face when (1) wanting to meaningfully engage with faith and religion *OR* (2) wanting to distance themselves from organised religion. additionally it felt like they were making fun of religion & religious faith as a whole, depicting it as this almost psychotic thing to believe in god. and they completely decoupled eric's personal journey to faith from what religion primarily is about for many, many people: community and connection. like, sure, they briefly brushed it i theory, but neglected to real get into the emotional reality and complexity of it. they very much glossed over the fact that religious communities are a source for moral/ethical and social control and even when you disagree with some aspects of the doctrine you will still be affected by it if you grew up in those circles. and your personal reckoning with religion will probably be more tied to THAT (the fear of losing love/support/part of your social circle, ostracisation (because even when you're okay with who you are right from the start it's something that doesn't feel good even when you prepare for it....), feeling disconnected from your former self, struggling to build your own belief system that you feel lie it truly belongs to you etc.). his entire journey was lacking any nuance and complexity in my opinion. and maybe that's because i personally had a different experience reconciling my faith with my sexual identity. i wasn't a self-hating queer either, but breaking away from religion still was a change in my life that impacted me very real and convoluted ways!!! (also like let's be real him becoming a pastor is gonna solve what exactly??? go through the homophobic system to change the homophobic system??? HUH with what power??? you're better of starting a new church fr.) idk. another thing that bugged me was the lack of chemistry in intimate scenes. like. jo and i watched these scenes and. nothing. the lack of chemistry really made me so uncomfortable. it almost made me question if i really do like sex lol. ALSO WHYYYY did they force the aimee and isaac relationship for no reason???? that really didn't have to have to happen. not that i hate it, it's whatever, but i was just so BORING to me. same with the otis and maeve thing. THEY WERE SO BORING. their drama this season was so repetitive and reminiscent of earlier conflicts between them it made me want to rip my hair out. i think i stopped caring about them as a couple after season 2. they don't fit and they don't work yet still the writers were trying to make them a thing for no reason. i could go on but this is already longer than i wanted it to be (yikes). i just want you to know that this season did so many things so badly i ended up not caring about ANYTHING that happened or ANY of the characters (except ruby). they could have all just disappeared and i wouldn't have cared one bit because they were all giving NOTHING. so basically, the season felt like this meme to me, but with a heavy, all-permeating, very petty & derogatory undertone:
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okay so now for the things i did watch and enjoy recently (i assume you mean movies/tv shows because i my monthly wrap ups cover my reading). there are quite a few things, actually! ofc i watched barbie which was fun, and oppenheimer which was Very Good. oh, and i watched and liked set it up, and my brother sat me down and made me watch the two spider verse movies with him which i enjoyed a lot as well! my other brother made me watch the new puss in boots (liked that one, too). i also watched the first couple of episodes of the bear and i am very intrigued (gonna continue for sure)!! also finished glow a couple of month ago which was quite good but sadly prematurely cancelled. other than that i have been mostly rewatching stuff tbh (recently e.g. fleabag, schitt's creek, atla, succession, and the occasional movies like p&p 2005, emma 2020. also been in the mood for a rewatch of god's own country & the ghibli movies.). other than that, the movies/tv shows i reblog stuff from are generally things i enjoyed in the past (or at least partly enjoyed). idk there's a lot on my 'to watch list' but i am only making my way through it super slowly jhghjgjhjgjh
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jeongjaebae · 1 year
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fic summary 2k22
ayeee so it's that time of year again!! i know i haven't posted much in 2022 (like... just a handful of fics oops) but i still hit a decent word count and made significant progress on long fic wips!
so yeahhh here's my 2022 fic summary which is... basically a chance to introduce my wips LOL
Total word count written: 89,033
Total word count published: 33,243
Fandoms written: tbz and svt
1. Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or what you predicted?
a bit less!! it's about half as much as i wrote last year (which was a whooping 150k word count LMAO), but this range is already more than the average for me in any given year so it's not too bad. in terms of what i POSTED though... i have no excuse for that 😅 most of my word count is from wips/ideas so i didn't have any finished content to post
2. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
last january i definitely didn't know i would write for svt!! i kind of had a feeling that deobiblr was already dying at the time, and that's around when i started watching going seventeen to get into them... but yeah didn't know i'd slip so deep into the carat life (blaming you, kim mingyu 😒)
3. What’s your own favourite story of the year?
it's a time loop au wip that i've written about 19k so far!! where our mc is stuck in a loop trying to change their fate of unrequited love by meeting [boy group member] first before his current gf does. so mc tries to alter events and change the course of fate all while trying to figure out a way to leave the loop
4. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
uhHHhhH the time loop au i suppose is a risk in itself... bc like... plotting it has been a complete pain when you're trying to consider multiple reruns of the same timeline. every detail has to be in the right place so that when the mc's actions change, we can directly see how that affects the events in the timeline
also writing domestic fluff like i did in best boy... can't say i enjoyed it but it was a good challenge!!
5. Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?
post the damn hyunjae e2l already 💀 (takes one to know one)
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From my past year of writing, what was…
My best story of this year:
the time loop au ahahaha but if we're talking posted fic then the whole truth!! it has a bit of everything: decent flow and sentence structures, some important themes, tiny bit of humour, and gotta love f2l ju
My most popular story of this year:
the whole truth!! i reread this kind of recently and think it really is my best in terms of flow and sentence structure. also i really haven't posted anything else so.... yeah 😶
Most fun story to write:
hmm besides my two biggest wips i'd say it's this jogging au i wrote back in april!! where mc gets roped into a jogging date with [cute dating app boy] despite hating all kinds of exercise. it's definitely the typical jeongjaebae style of humour, secondhand embarrassment, and fluff. very fun to write and has me laughing every time i reread it LMAO
Story with the single sexiest moment:
probably the whole truth, the scene where they're making out in juyeon's room LMAO. srry i have no other contributions this year. BUT!!! my e2l wip has the full and extended scene from want so that's something to look forward to 👀
Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:
best boy. maybe it's not terrible but idk i haven't touched it since writing it bc i hate it 🤡 domestic fluff is... not my cup of tea. i suppose it was a good writing challenge tho. maaaaybe i'll write it one day but... needs a bit more practice
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:
hmm maybe 1 plus 1? writing it made me obsessed with the (og) guy in it and he shot way up my bias list. and like. i'm still in that phase rn LOL
Hardest story to write:
oh boy it's deffs the time loop au. still stuck on the plot tbh? there's just so much planning and then... the thought of it reaching 50k or something... makes me tired OTL. it's exciting to think about but at the same time, there are way too many details i still have to write. it's a bit of a struggle
Biggest surprise:
surprise surprise who knew i would be writing for svt?!? and the one piece of angst that i wrote: all that we are
Most unintentionally telling story:
let's go with the whole truth. i loved some of the concepts and moral lessons in there, like how we're not made to be someone else's object of desire. why should we exist to be beautiful to others? and the other part about how love is deeper than what an app can tell us.
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Favourite opening lines:
ehh nothing i particularly like but here we go
[better than the movies]
the most relatable sentence
If your life was a movie, at this moment, you’d be that introvert at a party.
[jogging date wip]
ahh.... relatable once again. the opening here sets the tone perfectly
"Yeah, of course. A jogging date sounds perfect." That was the moment you knew you fucked up.
Favourite closing lines:
nothing will beat this is how we fall but here are some that i like
[takes one to know one]
this actually isn't at the veryyy end of my wip rn but will probably change it and make it the actual ending later bc it's so fitting!! potential spoiler i guess but not really bc we all knew what was coming right?
When he pulls back and you see the fondness in his eyes, you realize that maybe the two of you aren't so different. He may have been an asshole, but you'd pretty much been one too. You were insanely competitive but only so that you could match up to his level. And even though it took a while for you to understand your feelings for him, now you know that he's felt the same way all along. Indeed, the two of you are more similar than you think. But then again, it takes one to know one.
[the whole truth]
they went through so much and this wrapped it up nicely. the silence especially is a powerful symbol here
When Juyeon takes the final step and crosses into your range this time, the silence is something you’ve never been happier to hear.
Favourite lines from anywhere:
[the whole truth]
important life lessons 101. if someone doesn't like you that's their problem not yours LOL. why should it be your job to be likeable?
"It’s not embarrassing to not be loved back. Painful, yes, but not something to be ashamed of. You weren’t put on this world just to become someone else’s object of desire, okay?"
[time loop au wip]
not quite closing lines but could kind of be similar to that
The two of you don't talk about, but it's all too evident anyway. It's evident when you lean into him as the night gets colder, head against the crook of his shoulder, and then in the way he shifts so that his lips meet yours. It's evident in the way he kisses you, with the sweetest of a first kiss, the bitterness of a last kiss, and the constancy of making the same choice in every loop, every timeline, every lifetime.
Scenes from anywhere you would have choose to have illustrated:
for the sake of referencing posted fics, i would say the ending of redo where they're on the bench under the mistletoe!
(in terms of wips: time loop au where y/n and [redacted] are watching fireworks from homecoming week!!)
New year’s resolutions:
finish and post that damn hyunjae e2l already OTL. and like... probably finish the time loop au if possible
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Word Count Totals
Total finished, posted fic: 33,243
Longest posted fic:  the whole truth ~14.2k
Longest wip: hyunjae e2l is sitting at 25k still... and time loop au at 19k... 🥲
Total number of words written: 89,033
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helloalycia · 3 years
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The Wrong Lifetime – Eight // Wanda Maximoff
chapter seven | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter nine
author’s note: Y/C/N = your cousin’s name, also this is later than I wanted today but i’ve been super busy so sorry for that! Also, I’ll be responding to comments from the last one as soon as I’m free. Enjoy 😊
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"...okay, so now use the water to dilute the colour."
I did as Wanda said, dipping my brush in the glass of water and diluting the watercolour I was using, but I must have used too much because it made the paint run and then the paper started to get too damp to hold together.
Wanda facepalmed, sighing as I smiled sheepishly.
"My bad...?"
She glared playfully before ripping a page from her sketchbook. "Try again, milaya (darling). And use less water this time."
I squinted in the sun as I glanced at her. "Can't you just accept I'm not very good at painting? Or art in general?"
She shook her head, taking the torn page from my grasp and replacing it with a new one. "No way. You're not getting out of it that easily. It's not hard, I promise!"
I groaned lightheartedly. "You said that about drawing. And about using acrylics. And about using chalk."
"And I'm saying it about this, now c'mon, try again," she encouraged with an amused smile before returning to her own painting.
We were sat in my garden, hanging out and making the most of the lovely day we were having. The Spring breeze was getting warmer as we transitioned into Summer and it was a nice change of pace from the usual bad weather we had. So nice that Wanda wanted to do some painting and also teach me how to. But art was never my strong suit and I'm sure she knew that but still proceeded to try anyway.
Sketching out the tree before us for the third time today, I attempted to provide an outline that I could eventually fill in with green watercolours. Unlike Wanda though, it wasn't fun. My eyes veered over to her and I smiled to myself as I admired the look of concentration on her face – her 'art' look, I dubbed it. It was this very specific expression she got whenever she worked on a painting or drawing, and it always reminded me of that first time I saw it, after we met in the stationary store and when she took me back to her room. Absolutely wonderful.
"I don't hear a pencil moving," she said, not looking up but beginning to smile.
"That's because I'm looking for... what did you call it?" I racked my brain, thinking back to the day in the store when she talked about inspiration. "Vdokhoventi?"
A sharp exhale escaped her lips as she finally lifted her gaze to meet mine. Attempting not to laugh, she tilted her head adorably. "Vdokhnoveniye."
I quirked a brow. "Is that not what I said?"
She giggled, shaking her head. "Definitely not."
I grinned, shrugging. "Well, that's what I meant."
She rolled her eyes playfully. "I'm not it, so eyes on your page."
"Oh, how dearly mistaken you are, love," I said quietly, leaning close and giving her a knowing smile.
She looked up, expression softening with a smile. Her eyes were heavenly, pupils dilated as she squinted in the sun, and they flickered to my lips before she settled on nudging me in the shoulder slightly. I snickered, leaning my head on her shoulder since everybody thought we were as close as best friends, so it wouldn't look suspicious. She sighed contently, letting me watch as she moved her paintbrush, painting a flower that was peeking through the grass we were sat on.
I could have stayed there forever, in that moment, sitting with Wanda and watching her paint under the sun. But of course, all good things come to an end when you don't want them to.
"Y/N, dear," I heard my father call, and when I looked up, I saw him approaching Wanda and I from the direction of our house.
Straightening up, I watched as he attempted to sit on the grass, but his legs were too long and he struggled to cross them. With a hearty chuckle, he stretched them out, slightly bent, and leaned on his hands.
"I'm getting too old for this, ladies," he said humorously, making Wanda and I smile.
"What d'you need, dad?" I asked, raising my brows.
"I just wanted to check in and see if you were ready for tonight," he said casually, making me furrow my brows. He seemed to notice my confusion, prompting, "Tonight? Your cousin's birthday party?"
"My cousin's what-now?"
He sighed, massaging the point between his brows. "Y/C/N? They organised this months ago. We're all expected to be there." His glanced to Wanda. "You, too, dear."
Wanda hummed, pulling her gaze from her painting and looking to my dad. "Yes, I'm aware. Got my dress ready and everything."
My eyes snapped to Wanda's with surprise. "You knew about this?!"
"You should be more like her," my dad muttered, as Wanda smiled with a hint of mischief in her eyes.
I looked back to my father. "I was planning on helping Y/B/N with his manuscript tonight."
My dad waved his hand. "I've already talked to him. He's agreed to work on it before the party starts so you're both on time."
I groaned, already tired at the sound of yet another party. Did it ever end?
"Don't be late," he ordered, though his voice was anything but stern. Cue another groan. He smiled before looking to Wanda's painting. "Wow, that's great, dear. Apparently you've got Y/N here attempting to do the same?"
Wanda chuckled as she handed him my several failed attempts. "Key word being 'attempting'."
He accepted the pages and stifled a smile of amusement. "Wow... maybe you should stick to writing, Y/N."
I ripped the pages from his grasp. "Cheers, dad, really."
He laughed before leaning forward and kissing my forehead. "It's all in good faith, dear. Now remember. Don't be late tonight, okay?"
I sighed, which he took as my response, before pushing himself off the grass with a grumble. Dusting his trousers, he nodded to Wanda and I before leaving us be.
"You could've told me I had yet another party to attend tonight," I told Wanda with narrowed eyes.
She shrugged, smiling helplessly. "I thought you knew."
I laid back on the grass with a dramatic sigh. "I just don't understand why our life revolves around extravagant parties, balls and dinners."
"That's just how it is, moya lyubov' (my love)," she said with a warm smile.
I looked up at the sky, raising my hand to shield the sun from my eyes, though my heart fluttered at one of the many nicknames she called me in Russian. "I'd rather live in the middle of nowhere. Where nobody expects anything of me and there's no stupid parties to attend."
She rested a hand on my leg before laying beside me, leaning her head on my shoulder. I relaxed my head on hers, appreciating how well we fit together.
"Same here," she agreed, making me gasp playfully.
"What? Don't you love the glitz and glamour?"
She laughed quietly. "I do, but I like the peace and quiet more."
I breathed out, fingertips brushing hers. "Maybe I can be a little late tonight... accidentally run over time so I don't have to stay as long."
Her fingers tugged on mine between us as a warning. "No. I'll be left alone and I'll be bored. And when I'm bored, I drink."
It was my turn to laugh. "You won't be alone, Wanda. You'll have Pietro."
She shifted so she was no longer leaning on my shoulder but instead tilting her head to look my way. "I want you."
I turned my head and gave her a small, promising smile. "I'll try to be on time."
She quirked a brow. "Try? You will."
My eyes flittered away, ready to argue otherwise, but she sat up and grabbed her paintbrush. I sat up, too, ready to tell her I would try, but I flinched when she flicked water towards me from the tip of it.
"Are you serious?" I asked, wiping the water from my eyelids with tongue-in-cheek.
She chuckled and I grabbed my paintbrush and did the same, watching her squirm when it flicked on her face.
Suppressed smile on her face, she wiped away the water and glared with dazzling eyes. "You shouldn't start what you can't finish, milaya (darling)."
Smiling from ear to ear, I quirked a brow devilishly. "Oh?"
"You're so lucky we're in front of people," she said lowly, leaning close enough to be platonic, but her hand slipped under my dress and creeped up my leg, making me involuntarily shiver. "Or you would be in serious trouble."
I stopped her hand from going any higher, the rings on her fingers cold enough for me to not melt under her touch. "I highly doubt that, love."
She held my gaze, intoxicating and mesmerising all at once. A sly smile tugged at her lips as she said, "Don't test me then. You heard your father. Don't be late."
I exhaled, licking my lips. "Fine. I won't be."
Later that afternoon, I found myself sat in my brother's study as the two of us worked on his latest manuscript together. It was a love story, his (my) specialty, and I was helping him to sort out his sentence structure when he decided to question me.
"Will you entertain me for a moment?" he asked randomly, making me look up from the pages.
"I'll probably regret it, but go on," I said jokingly, before looking back down and adding some notes to the paper.
His chair creaked as he leaned back, eyes watching me thoughtfully. "Are you in a secret relationship?"
I almost choked on my spit as he asked this, heart dropping to my stomach with panic. He couldn't know about Wanda, right? We'd been so careful.
Thankfully, I played it off well as I merely glanced his way before distracting myself with note-taking.
"Why would you think that, Y/B/N?" I asked like he was insane.
He shrugged in my peripheral. "I don't know... I've been wondering for a while. You've just loosened up so much more. And you're not as uptight as you usually are."
"Cheers," I said sarcastically.
He leaned forward, head resting in his palm. "This all happened right about the time I met Wanda..."
I swallowed hard, quirking a brow at him to play down my panic.
"I saw you with Pietro the other week," he continued, and I could finally breathe when I realised what he was insinuating. "I'm happy if you're happy, Y/N, but I'm not a fan of you sleeping with my publisher."
At that thought, I shuddered and proceeded to shove Y/B/N on the arm. "Don't say that. And I would never."
Just your fiancé, I thought guiltily.
"Good," he said with relief, straightening up. "Because you're not supposed to do that until you get married."
I rolled my eyes dismissively in response, but wondered if that still applied in a world where one was not allowed to marry the person they loved.
Y/B/N gave me a reassuring glance. "Look, I'm okay with it, I guess. But I'd appreciate the heads up so I can give him a stern talking to."
Realising there was a hint of mirth in his voice, I looked up and gave him a warning look. "Don't you dare."
He laughed, patting me on the back, to which I shrugged off with annoyance.
"It's the Maximoff charm," he commented knowingly. "The twins have that effect on people, don't they? Wanda sure has it on me."
A short silence fell after he said that and I chewed on my lip curiously, unable to stop myself from speaking until it was too late.
"Is her love reciprocated?"
He looked down to me from his daydream, no doubt of Wanda. "Pardon?"
Knowing there was no backing down from the conversation now, I avoided his eyes. "The engagement between you both was arranged... you're clearly in love with her, but is it returned?"
His lips twitched into a frown. "I'd hope so."
I hummed, diverting my attention away from him and to the pen in my hand.
"Why? Did she say something?" he asked, voice laden with worry.
"Of course not," I reassured him.
"But you'd tell me if she did?" he asked eagerly.
I looked his way and saw him peering down at me, hanging onto my response. I nodded lamely, which seemed to put him at ease as he sank into his chair with relief.
We spent the next few hours working on the manuscript without a hitch, but I noticed the time and realised the party was already in full swing. Wanda's words came to mind and I hoped she wouldn't be too annoyed at my lateness.
"We're wrapping it up now, don't worry," Y/B/N said, noticing me check the clock. "Thanks for the help. I'm gonna get this to my editor tomorrow. Your amendments should help make the process go a lot smoothly."
I hummed in response, feeling a heaviness settle on my shoulders as he mentioned his editor. It was always the same routine – I helped him with his manuscript, he got it edited, got his book published and got all the credit. And I was stuck in the same position, wishing I could do the same.
"What is it?" he asked with a sigh, sensing my mood.
Playing with the corner of the manuscript, I met his gaze. "I help you with your writing, but I never get anything from it."
"You get to help me," he pointed out, not seeing the issue. "Isn't that enough?"
Pietro's offer came to mind as I said, "What if I wrote my own book? And got published with my name on the cover?"
He squinted as he studied me, trying to find the humour in my words. Letting out a laugh, he shook his head.
"Y/N, that's absurd."
I raised my eyebrows hopefully. "I mean, is it? Would that be so bad?"
He pressed his lips together and breathed out through his nose. Resting a hand on my shoulder, he gave me a condescending look.
"I'm saying this because I care," he said, making me feel like crap. "But yes."
As if I didn't already know the answer, I asked, "Why?"
He motioned with his hand like it was obvious. "Because. People would look at you differently. You'd be undesirable. You know men don't like smart women. I'm just looking out for you as your brother."
I looked away, the bitterness at his words stinging more than usual. "Well, I like smart women."
Thinking I was joking, he chuckled. "Don't go saying things like that. One might misinterpret."
My teeth pressed into my lower lip hard, trying to contain my frustration.
"You can do this every now and then," he said, referring to the manuscript, "but any more isn't possible. Besides, two authors in one family? That's insane."
I forced a smile, but I wondered if his last comment was the real reason he wouldn't let me at least try to get published.
"Anyway, never mind that," he said indifferently. "We should probably head out. Dad is not going to be pleased. Especially since I promised we wouldn't be late."
I nodded, sliding my chair out and wanting to be anywhere but here right now. "Yeah, come on."
He gave me a sneaky smile. "Can't wait to see Pietro?"
I slapped him on the arm before standing up, ignoring his laughter. Nothing to make an already-depressing night worse than going to a party you didn't care for.
Wanda Maximoff was a very difficult drunk to be around, I'd learnt that the hard way.
As soon as Y/B/N and I rolled up to my cousin's house, a third of the guests were drunk and the rest were tipsy. A typical Y/L/N get-together. Y/B/N was instantly dragged away by some family whilst I was quick to make myself scarce, attempting to find Wanda. But the place was bustling with people and there were way too many rooms to check.
I found Pietro before I found his twin, as he was poking around party favours on a table in the corner, attempting to make out what were in the bags.
I found Pietro before I found his twin, as he was poking around party favours on a table in the corner, attempting to make out what were in the bags.
"If you're expecting a brand new fountain pen, you won't find it in there," I teased, making him jump.
He sighed when he looked my way, realising it was me. "I know that. But there's nothing better here to do, so I may as well know what freebies we'll be getting by the end of it."
I smirked. "Anything good?"
He shrugged, seeming disappointed. "Just some chocolate and perfume samples."
Holding back a smile, I said, "How tragic."
"If you're looking for my sister, she's over there," he said, nodding behind me. "You'll love this one."
"What do you mean?" I asked, brows knitted with confusion, before turning around and following his gaze.
Wanda was indeed stood on the other side of the dining room and I could just about make her out between idle guests. She was chatting to some woman, hands moving erratically and with expression, a grin on her lips.
"What is she doing?" I asked unsurely, tearing my eyes from her and looking to Pietro.
He was withholding laughter as he answered, "Sometimes, dear Y/N, my beloved twin sister gets drunk when she's–"
"Bored," I finished, remembering what she told me this morning. My face dropped as I mumbled, "Uh-oh."
"Uh-oh indeed," Pietro said, grinning at his sister's dismay. "Drunk Wanda is a very truthful Wanda. So, any secrets of hers will most definitely be revealed tonight."
Pietro was too caught up in his own amusement to notice my eyes widening.
"One of our servants made me a platter a few years ago," Pietro explained, oblivious to my panic. "It was a delicious cheese platter, the cheese having been imported from France. Then, Wanda proceeded to eat it without telling me. When I asked if she did, she lied. And I only discovered she lied because she got drunk a few weeks later and bragged about how good the cheese was."
Continuing to ramble, though this time in Russian, Pietro complained about said incident, though I wasn't listening as I watched Wanda talk to the woman enthusiastically. I could only imagine what secrets she was sharing.
"Pietro!" I cut him off, earning his attention. "Shouldn't you do something? To stop Wanda?"
The cheese platter story long forgotten, his grin reappeared on his lips. "Nah, it's funny watching her make a fool of herself."
I gave him a look of disbelief before looking back to Wanda, who was laughing at something by herself. The woman she was speaking to seemed partially confused, but smiled to be polite. I gulped, before shaking my head.
"I'm not that mean," I said to Pietro before making a move to stop her.
Pietro booed me playfully, but I ignored him and approached the drunk brunette, managing to catch her conversation.
"–and they're usually such catty bitch–"
"Wanda!" I immediately cut her off, bumping into her side slightly to get her attention. "There you are!"
Green eyes widened with excitement as they met mine. "Y/N! You're here!"
Ignoring her, I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and tugged her close before looking to the guest she was talking with.
"My apologies for her behaviour," I said with an awkward smile, hoping Wanda hadn't revealed anything suspicious.
"No need to apologise, dear," the woman said with an amused smile. "Wanda here was telling me all about how lovely of a sister-in-law you are. Or will be."
Wanda grinned, looking to me and leaning in so close that her nose brushed my cheek. "Yeah, she is," she continued to the woman, though her eyes were on mine. "She's sweet, not like other people make out their sister-in-laws to be."
My face was warm as I cleared my throat and smiled once more to the woman. "If you'll excuse Wanda and I."
The woman barely got out a nod before I dragged Wanda away, trying to keep her lips away from my neck (she was also an extremely clingy drunk). Tugging her into the bathroom down the hall, I closed the door behind us and released a breath of relief, grateful for the escape from guests.
"You look very sexy when you're worried," Wanda complimented, stepping forward and smiling dazedly.
"Wanda–"
She placed her hand on my jaw, moving closer so that her lips were grazing mine as she mumbled, "You came late, milaya (darling). But I still love you."
I'd like to say that I had the willpower to push her away and scold her for acting so obvious about us before, but my lips went numb as she captured them between hers. I could taste the alcohol on her lips as she moved them against mine, making me dizzy and forgetting what I was going to say. Her thumb caressed my jaw and I relaxed under her touch, hands resting on her chest. When she tried to part my lips with her tongue, I seemed to come to my senses.
"Wanda, you're drunk," I muttered, pushing her back gently.
She chased down my mouth again, sucking on my lip and tilting my head back so she could have better access. I tried not to let her win as I kissed her briefly before pulling away. Clouded hazel eyes met mine with a matching smirk.
"You're such a tease," she whispered, her accent thicker than usual and making my stomach flip uncontrollably. Her thumb traced my lips as she continued, "You shouldn't do that when I already know how you taste, moya lyubov' (my love)."
The way she was staring at me made me flustered in place, and she seemed to notice her effect on me as she winked my way.
Shaking my head and trying not to let her win, I said, "Look, Wanda. I'm sorry for being late. But did you really have to get drunk?"
She shrugged, leaning her weight on my shoulder with her hand. "If you hadn't kept me waiting, then I wouldn't have."
I sighed, looking to her apologetically. "I didn't realise the time."
A permanent troublesome smile was fixed on her lips as she watched me.
"Your brother told me how you can be when you get drunk," I said with mild concern, hoping she'd register my seriousness. "You need to be careful, Wanda. We can't have people finding out about us."
"It seems to me," she began agonisingly slowly, lacing her arms around my shoulders, "that you'll have to watch me all night to make sure I don't do anything out of line."
Determined not to play into her teasing, I maintained her gaze with a stern stare. "It seems I'll have to."
She bit her lip, eyes flickering between mine, before leaning further into my ear. In a whispered voice, she said, "That means you can't leave my side, printsessa (princess)."
I clenched my jaw, ready to agree, but a gasp escaped my lips as hers sucked on my earlobe, teeth nibbling on the sensitive skin. Stupid Wanda and her stupid flirting and stupid attractiveness.
"Wanda!" I scolded, though my cheeks were flushed as I pushed her away gently.
She laughed adorably, the sound making my heart skip a beat. "What?"
"You have to behave," I told her, swallowing hard and trying not to let her teasing smile get to me. "You can't do this out there. Okay?"
"Okay," she agreed in a way that wasn't reassuring in the slightest.
I rolled my eyes before grabbing her hand and leading her back outside the bathroom, returning to the party. I wasn't planning on leaving her side for the rest of the evening, even if Y/B/N wanted to be with her. The last thing I wanted was for her cute drunken self to reveal something she couldn't take back.
To my relief, she kind of behaved after that. There were times when she would get a little too touchy to be platonic, but a quick stare set her straight. Y/B/N wasn't around much, as when he did join us, he was immediately pulled away by some family friends who wanted to discuss his books. For once, I was glad he was an author, afraid of what would happen if Wanda got too comfortable in his presence.
At one point though, he was able to join Wanda, Pietro and I at a standing table, relief flooding his expression when nobody called after him. His arm wrapped around Wanda's waist and he kissed the top of her head, making me look the other way with distaste. She scrunched her nose up at the action before distracting herself with a drink. I gave her a knowing look, having told her earlier to stop with the alcohol. She pretended not to see me.
"Sorry I've not been able to spend time with you tonight," he said to Wanda, oblivious to her tipsy state.
"It's almost like it's your birthday and not your cousin's," Pietro joked, smiling at him.
My brother chuckled. "I guess. They just all wanna talk about my manuscript."
"Ah, yes, the reason you were late, right?" Wanda asked, eyes falling to mine.
"I'm sorry," my brother apologised, assuming it was him she was speaking to.
"You were helping him, too, right?" Pietro asked, looking to me curiously. "Maybe I'll finally get a glance at your work."
I narrowed my eyes at him, having figured he'd put the subject to rest after last time. He merely grinned in response, finding joy in messing with me, just like his sister. Before I could say anything, my brother beat me to it.
"Don't be getting any ideas. It's just a hobby." He smiled forcefully, before glancing at me. "Isn't it, Y/N?"
"Don't be getting any ideas. It's just a hobby." He smiled forcefully, before glancing at me. "Isn't it, Y/N?"
So he was jealous. Wow.
"You don't need to hide your relationship, y'know," he continued when I didn't respond, looking to Pietro.
The silver-haired publisher choked on his drink as he looked to my brother, clearly very amused.
"I know you're together," Y/B/N said with agitation. "Everybody does. And don't get me wrong, Pietro, I respect you as a publisher."
I groaned quietly, closing my eyes with embarrassment. When I opened them, Pietro was watching my brother with an entertained smile, meanwhile, Wanda was looking between them with a twitching frown.
"But if you're going to date my sister, you should do it the right way," my brother continued stupidly. "It's not appropriate to have whatever this is." He motioned between us with his hands. "It's wrong."
I jumped when Wanda's hand slipped to my arse, squeezing it gently. Thankfully, our backs were to a wall so nobody would have noticed behind us, but I instantly glared at her and removed her hand. She gave me a cunning smile, not bothered by the consequences.
"...and if you're sleeping together like I suspect," Y/B/N was saying, making me flush with humiliation, "know that our friendship is at breaking point. I can't have that blatant disrespect in my life."
Wanda continued to attempt to grab my arse, making me slap her hand away several times, all whilst trying to manage whatever conversation was happening right now.
"I can't believe you just said that," I finally spoke up, managing to keep Wanda at bay long enough. "You're such an idiot, Y/B/N! I told you I wasn't with Pietro!"
Pietro tried not to laugh as he met my brother's intimidating stare. "I value our friendship, too, Y/B/N. Which is why I can promise you I have no... relations... with your sister. I don't like her like that, I can assure you."
Wanda snorted with amusement, before hiding behind a glass of wine when everyone looked her way.
Y/B/N seemed embarrassed as he cleared his throat. "Oh."
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, oh!"
"I guess I should apologise," he said awkwardly, looking to Pietro. "I–"
"No apology necessary," Pietro cut him off, raising a hand. "I am thankful for the entertainment however."
"I'm gonna go literally anywhere else," I dismissed myself, unable to take the uncomfortable situation any longer.
Without waiting for a response, I turned on my heel and walked away. To my surprise, Wanda trailed after, falling into step with me.
I glanced at her unhappily, quirking a brow. "Can I help you?"
"Oh, don't be mad at me because your brother's an idiot," she said with a wag of her hand.
I gave her a suggestive look. "I told you to behave."
She pressed her lips together in a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry... Y/B/N was talking about you and Pietro and I– well, I don't like sharing, remember?"
The improper glint in her eye as she stopped before me, watching with amusement, made me feel warm all of a sudden. That day when she first told me that and we proceeded to make love flashed to mind, and she seemed to know as she had a mischievous look on her face.
Clearing my throat, I pointed a finger her way. "Behave."
I should have known by the devilish look in her eyes that she wouldn't.
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Note
Hey! The same anon that asked about the lockdown timeline yesterday here. Thank you so much for replying! I can heavily relate to wanting things to make sense and fit so i guess that's why I reached out with that question in the first place. Anyways I thought I'd tell you I thought about it some more and I think that Aziraphale talking about Crowley's job and Crowley saying he knows he should be making people's lives worse is just their usual double-layered way of talking with each other. 1/2
Kinda like "visiting me would be breaking the rules, isn't it What You Do?" "I mean I could but it's gonna take a clearer invitation for me to agree". And I guess Aziraphale's final "that would be breaking the rules" can be read as sincere, but I can imagine him just putting up his usual show. Only it seems Crowley wants something more genuine now... anyways thanks for putting up with me, sometimes my head won't let me rest until I've discussed something with someone else. So thank you so much!!
Hallo again Anon!
I feel I should preface this by reiterating that I know the video most likely wasn’t intended to be looked at this closely from a continuity perspective and it’s probably just a cute PSA about how you shouldn’t leave your house, but I’m sort of enjoying myself right now.
As a matter of fact, the notion you just laid out was my first interpretation of the video. Like it didn’t even occur to me that perhaps Aziraphale was not actively trying to get Crowley to come over until much later. He was so much more forward in this video than he usually is in the series that I just immediately went “YUP that’s what’s happening.” It wasn’t until Crowley said “Goodnight, angel” that I became unsure how to read the situation (more on that later).
Putting a read more because this got long.
After a lot of analyzing, I can see other perspectives too. The main one that made sense to me was the notion that Aziraphale would have realized, belatedly, he was not ready to be locked down together with Crowley and that’s why he sounded so panicky. Or that perhaps he thought Crowley was going to come visit but didn’t realize he was going to be angling for a sleepover.
I dunno, guys. I just really think that Aziraphale’s line of questioning in the beginning involved a desire to push Crowley toward Soho. That’s how they’ve been communicating for thousands of years. If I accept his call entirely at face value, then I sort of have to accept the idea that maybe all of Aziraphale’s apparent “hinting” behavior has been totally guileless with no ulterior motive, which in turn would mean his entire stint in the Arrangement has been just him being pushed along by Crowley rather than quietly reciprocating. And I don’t think that’s the point of their relationship. I much prefer the notion that this secret code is how they’ve always operated and it’s still in play, though they’re starting, slowly, to unlearn it, or at least relax it.
I can’t speak for anyone, but I suspect people don’t like the idea of Aziraphale being nudgy and indirect or Crowley being a bit unsatisfied with this approach because they interpret it as unhealthy or manipulative for one or both of them. But the thing is, double-speak has been a survival mechanism for them for so long that it’s fairly well ingrained, and it is also entirely consensual. And a bit of temporary discontentment is sort of part of the process, isn’t it, when you’re negotiating new boundaries in a relationship? I don’t necessarily hold them 100% to realistic human psychological standards, because they aren’t real and they aren’t human, but if their relationship is a story, then the occasional disagreement is a necessary challenge that will eventually bring them to the next exciting chapter.
Anyway, as far as my Aziraphale interpretation, I’m caught between “he was angling for Crowley to come visit the whole time all the way to the end and is going to call back in 3 minutes” and “he was opening up an invitation for Crowley to come over but got all freaked out when Crowley suggested effectively moving in together.” Of those, I lean toward the second because he does sound genuinely nervous. However, he obviously thought about it, if you listen to his vocal cues. 
Now, for Crowley. First of all, how *very dare* David Tennant come for my life with the tenderness of “Goodnight, angel.” This line is positively dripping with affection. Crowley’s not leaving in a huff, he’s not leaving off on an angry note. However, I don’t think he’s totally content, either. Note the sigh when Aziraphale says “it would be breaking all the rules” and the slightly weary tone when Crowley says “I’m setting my alarm for July.” He’s not trying to push Aziraphale into anything, but he does rather wish he’d gotten a different answer. Sleeping the lockdown away is likely the healthiest way he can think of to deal with this minor disappointment; he won’t go nuts being bored and lonely, and he won’t have the urge to wheedle Aziraphale.
Now if Crowley wasn’t happy with “no” for an answer, why wouldn’t he play the game they’ve always played? Find an excuse to go out and end up in Soho? There are three reasons and I think they’re all true:
This pattern of having to convince Aziraphale about everything has to relax now that it’s not part of the survival dance. Everyone knows this.
However, Aziraphale has always needed the structure of rules. Crowley doesn’t give a fuck about Heaven’s rules and he knows that Aziraphale often wants to get around them, too, but Aziraphale needs to be reminded over and over that Crowley can respect Aziraphale’s personal rules, however arbitrary they may seem, and not try to change his mind.
Finally, I think Crowley doesn’t want to play this game because...lockdown isn’t a rule that he particularly thinks needs breaking? Crowley takes great pleasure in breaking rules in ways that show how silly they are, and he takes great pleasure in pranks that challenge humans, and of course he does things to spite Heaven just because of who he is and what Heaven is. But, as we established early in the short, Crowley actually does not want to worsen this situation, or do anything that would represent worsening it in his own head. He wouldn’t have the gleeful thrill of a well-broken rule, he’d just...be either slinking around in secret or essentially gloating about being occult.
For Aziraphale, Crowley will sneak around and break the rules. But if Aziraphale is also uncomfortable with the idea, for literally any reason, Crowley will let the rules stand this time.
TL;DR In my interpretation, Aziraphale called Crowley hoping that they could meet up somehow, but panicked on realizing Crowley would totally do it, partly because Crowley suggested the massive change of practically moving in together and partly because Aziraphale does care about rules. Meanwhile, Crowley starts picking up what Aziraphale is putting down, but when Aziraphale gets nervous, Crowley doesn’t push largely out of respect for Aziraphale but also partly because he doesn’t feel like lockdown should actually be broken, either.
Thank you Anon!
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BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Summertime on Netflix
This is what I’m gonna do... I’ll be doing more structured reviews later and most likely liveblogging suggested stuff and tagging with “Nesha Watches (Insert Title) for all liveblog posts. For this first review, I won’t be as structured, because I didn’t really plan on reviewing, so this is basically all of my comments to friends @chenoahchantel and @daintyurbanprincess that were made whilst I was watching this show suggested to me by @rbaifzau 
It didn’t take me long to be annoyed with the white boy in this show. It doesn’t take much anyways, but one episode in and I’m over him already. This dude saw her at a party, she got pushed into the pool accidentally, he gave her a dry shirt, and two minutes later tried to kiss her… TF..  
Girl, this bout to be IGNANT...
Chile... She was like, "What are you doing?" And he looked surprised. Like whet. And in episode 2 after having seen her thrice and spoken to her once, he telling his best friend, "I'm pretty sure I like her a lot." I HATE stuff like this. Why did I tell old girl I'd watch this and discuss it with her? 😭
But she like him, so like??? 😭
And her daddy, who we haven't seen yet is presumably a rolling stone. Only one negro in this town and the nigga gotta be probably running around on his wife? 🙄 I'm like, OH, so the one Black man in the show gotta be a rolling stone? And even though his wife is also highly irresponsible as a parent, she's sort of made out to be the victim of his dreams. They never portray Black mothers doing things on their own as victims. That woman was messing up left and right and it's all on her husband not being there, when that's only part of the problem.
Also, if she IS the only present parent and made the decision to do that, she should be doing it instead of leaning on Summer all of the time. 
And she got a close friend that have an obvious crush on her but she seems oblivious. I hate dis
This dude reminds me of Max Theriot. He always looked musty to me. 🤣🤣🤣 He look like him breaf stank. Him and Jack Griffo were working on something where they play soldiers and I absolutely said, "He still look like he stank" when I saw him on Instagram…
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This is basically the same mold of dude and it looks moldy and should be tossed out. None for me, thanks.
But, there are moments in this show that's really cracking me up. 🤣🤣🤣 It's like, I feel like I should enjoy it for the messiness of it, but the main characters can be infuriating.
She called him an asshole and he said, "You don't even know me." No duh dipshit. She ain't know you when you tried to kiss her neither. NOR when you was talmbout you like her. 
This girl kissing her friend!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. She's gonna hurt this boy! My Gwad. He finna be discombobulated. 😭😭😭 He all happy today and she don't even see him like that. Lordt.
He walked up and she look uncomfortable AF. Her younger sister is like, "You're being weird." 🤣🤣🤣 Even SHE hip to something. He on the beach talmbout "It's hot today, don't you think?" And took his shirt off. 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I like Summer's friends and feel bad for them because she really didn't treat them kindly. She used Edo whenever she was upset by Ale and then she just completely ditched Sofie on her birthday and didn't even text her or anything. Just had her waiting on her and didn't even apologize. Like, I love that she gets a chance to be human, but being an asshole to the people who you're supposed to be friends with is such an upsetting trope to me.
And the connection between her and Ale is so weird. He comes across as super predatory in the beginning and I don't understand why she liked him in the first place, but also whenever he does something by mistake, she is so angry at him, even though she's been just as inconsiderate when it comes to her friends.
NOW... HE HARASSING HER AT HER JOB. 
WOTTICE DIS HUNNY??? 
Talmbout if she got a boyfriend he'll "take care of him" 😖 After she told him to leave and he said he'd wait for her outside, she asked her coworker, "What do you do to let a guy know you like him back?"
NOW, she went outside and he's there, but her friend showed up to surprise her after work. 🤣 Whoever made this HATES me
He stole a book out her locker and left a card with his phone number. How is this the start of a romance???
OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FRIEND IS TALKING ABOUT THE KISS...He said it was perfect........
Chile... And she don't even wanna tell their other best friend. Bruh. He said, "What we have doesn't need to be discussed." Summy PLEASE tell this young man...HE TRIED TO KISS HER AGAIN AND SHE SAID, "We just talked about last night's mistake" 😭😭😭
And she done hurt my friend this way, but she worried about Maxface because his mama can't reach him on the phone??? Girl.. go.. girl...
The gag is that she got mad at Ale because she saw him talking to his ex and she had to cover for him at work, but you've now ACTUALLY put your best friend in a bad space. And he ran into her mom and little sister and looked so uncomfortable but kept it short and sweet. These are people he loves. Idk. I feel bad for him and also like she kind of a hypocrite.
That was what REALLY bothered me. I don't expect her to be perfect, by all means. Black girls should be allowed their imperfections and their mistakes, but the fact that she knows what it's like to have the people you love be so absent and that she would treat her friends this way because of one guy who she's only known for a couple of months was disappointing for her character. She could have been written imperfectly without this glaring problem that I don't believe a real person in her position would actually have. 
I think in real life, the girl who raises her sister and basically has to lift her mother up all the time would overextend herself to her friends, but instead, she just leaves them in her dust as soon as she gets some dick. 😭
He is now hanging out with her little sister. 😭😭😭She goes to school with them but she looks tiny. I'm cringing at everything.
BRUH. Like... I can't tell if they're trying to or not, but I wouldn't be surprised because he's cool with the sister too, but they've been friends a while, so I didn't think much of it until Summer hurt him.I thought she liked him earlier, so idk if he is noticing her or I just EXPECT it. 
OAN, this man realized his son had a motorcycle accident on purpose and got mad instead of concerned
At one point, they say he's been riding bikes for 20 years, and whenever his father is mad that he had his accident on purpose (which I'll come back to) he says that he's never made a mistake like that, not even was he was 4, so Ale is AT LEAST 24 and she JUST turned 18. Which is WILD to me, even though at 18 I dated someone who was 23 (he was possessive and abusive, so I have a real suspicion of age gaps). 
But, aside from that - she gets mad at him any time she sees him with his ex when It is perfectly fine to speak with your ex and whenever she did see them together, it was always innocent and she didn't give him a chance to explain.
But then, when he does something questionable, like whenever he tried to kiss her the first day they met, or whenever he came to her job to ask her out and she told him to leave but he said he was going to wait outside (toxic AF and presumptuous) she is fine with those things.
Now, back to Ale's accident. I really felt so bad for him whenever we discover he did this on purpose, because his father is mad, when they should be concerned. His mother says, "You could have died" and he agrees...
How did they not notice that meant that this young man was so disappointed with his life as a biker that he was literally suicidal? They just grazed past it and whenever he vanished on them, there wasn't a huge call to find him,even though he'd just admitted to purposefully filling a possibly fatal mistake.
I'm prepared for nothing but disappointment. ALL these people outta there. Ale's best friend is in love with his ex. 😭 IT'S SUMMER'S 18TH BIRTHDAY. MYNIGGA She really stood her other best friend up to go get some dick on a little ass boat
The little sister shot her shot! 😭😭😭 He told her she's like his little sister and she burnt off mad denna muffugga
This child drunk, walking down the street in the middle of the night without her glasses...
OMG AS I WAS TYPING THAT SHE GOT HIT BY A DAMN CAR
I was really upset by these things coming to light, and also whenever Blue gets hit by a car, because all of the reviews that I've seen on this site have been that it's a cute love story with likable characters, but nobody mentions the problematic content, the dark portions of the story that can be triggering - like suicide and alcohol incidents and literally seeing a young Black girl be hit and run by a car??? 
I wasn't prepared for that shit in a "cute love story." I think that this story is less cute and more dark than people have made it out to be, and that's one of my problems with it. It isn't marketed as a dramatic coming of age story. It's marketed as a romantic comedy, when it is more serious than that and has a lot of issues that should be considered.
The lesbian best friend is in love with her too??????????????????? I. Hate. This.
My favorite person in this whole thing is the lesbian in the background, Irene. And also Dario.
I was entertained a lot of the times. Just heavily confused because I couldn't figure out what the tone was supposed to be. 😁
In conclusion - it's maybe a dark comedy, not a cute comedy, IS a coming of age about a young Black girl who is kind of an asshole, but Black girls should be free to be assholes too. White dudes do it all the time and are valued characters. The dude is weird AF for chasing around this 17 year old girl and he's in his 20s. Idk if that's normal in Italy. It's nasty to me. Their beginning is young people foolishness and there's not much that we see their relationship built upon, but that happens, yanno. You young, tired and silly and some pushy dude makes his move whenever he see you. Slap some discount sex in a dinghy on it and you have this show. I don't recommend it, but a lot of folk loved it, so I guess it did what it meant to do.
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wroef · 7 years
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how would you characterize the finches (as in who are they a person, what is their personality like, their aesthetics, etc). you don't have to write essays, i'd just like to know what you think of each of them. that would really interest me.
mod milton just went to go get food which has left me unattended so (peace sign emoji)
(EDIT MOD MILTON GOT BACK FROM GETTING FOOD AND IM ONLY ON WALTER, you can’t tell me to not write essays i will anyway im trying to be as brief as possible this is just how i AM)
milton is the aesthetic dude so he can either reblog or go back and edit this with what he thinks everyone’s aesthetics would be, i’ll just give descriptions of them and their personality. also im only gonna do the ones with portraits!!
odin - probably has an attitude a lot like dawn? i mean, he uprooted his whole house to sail to america to try to escape the curse. so like, paranoid family man that wants to keep his family safe. also probably likes boating/fishing or something. he’s probably sorta like my dad in that he cares deeply about his family, doesn’t like really anyone else, and can almost be sorta hotheaded when it comes to something getting in the way of him and his family. i sorta get that vibe? idk
edie - probably like how mod milton has described her before, like a kooky but weirdly lovable grandma? like the kind that would babysit the kids and then give them a bunch of chocolate and candy just before sending them back to their parents or something. probably a sweet old lady but also the kind that’s like ‘youre too nice wtf’ because she’d also be weirdly paranoid and such because of the family curse. definitely a person you could sit with and hear all of her stories though.
molly - i feel like she’d be the kinda kid who’d eat bugs and stuff as a kid and break her toys to figure out how they worked. she reminds me a lot of me as a kid, just more happy? and more interested in sea stuff. i feel like she’d be the kinda girl that you’d have to drag away from the beach whenever yall had to go home. just super bubbly and sweet but with sorta a weird fascination with dissecting things and figuring out how the innards of stuff work together. also probably spends more time eating than doing literally anything else
barbara - definitely the cute blonde that everyone said ‘she’s gonna be big one day’ and she did. she probably woulda loved watching child star stuff and when she had the opportunity to be in a movie she begged edie to let her audition. as she got older and america ‘grew out of her’, she probably was a theater kid type in high school, just waiting for another big break and auditioning anywhere she could. definitely the kind to roll her eyes whenever she had to babysit her little brothers, but she still cared a lot about them.
calvin - the kid to have probably gotten his head stuck in a fish bowl pretending to be an astronaut more than once. he was probably a big nerd growing up about space, begging for stuff like a telescope or astronomy books or anything he could get his hands on. he was the kid who said ‘im gonna be an astronaut when i grow up’ and was actually gearing to do just that. he was probably amazing as heck at school and sam might have even had him do his homework more than once. so smart kid, very hardheaded. think of like, how the majority of the fandom portrays clay terran from ace attorney (if anyone around here plays AA?)
sam - perfectly content staying on the ground, thanks. total one-with-nature type kid, probably wanted to be a nature photographer before calvin died. after the fact, he probably geared himself more toward military because he figured the thought of achieving your ‘true dream’ was all bs since he had then lost two siblings trying to achieve their dreams. so he dropped the photography except for recreational usage, and focused on gearing toward the military probably because this is vietnam war time and he didn’t really have a drive to go for anything else. he liked the structure that being in the military gave him and raised his kids with the same strict schedule, but it was probably a combination of his general stubborn pessimistic personality (which was never shown around the kids, of course) with his history and being away from the kids for a lot of their younger years because of the USMC that lead to his and Kay’s divorce. i feel like ive rambled a lot about sam for someone who doesn’t like him. tl;dr bad dad but also sad dad?
walter - my poor, sweet, paranoid delusional baby. he was probably the type to, like molly, enjoy the sea a lot. he probably wanted to be a marine biologist growing up, and when barbara died because of the supposed ‘monster’, being exposed to that kind of trauma of literally hearing your sister’s last words as she screams while being killed, that would kinda fuck you up. i could see him locking himself in his room for days on end, eventually forcing edie to have to drop him out of school and homeschool him. it probably took him months to even be able to step outside of his room. when calvin died he probably re-shut himself in, just terrified of everything. it said in game he had been down there for 30 years, and since he died at 53, that would mean he retreated to the basement at 23 years old. possibly, when no one else was living in the house aside from edie, she and him worked together to create the bunker that took a few years to make before it was livable.
dawn - she probably took after her dad a lot, not in the fact of the hunting or other activities he enjoyed but more in the pessimistic view of life. she’s seen in his story reading a lot and i feel like that’s because she’s the quiet type that would rather submerse herself in a fantasy world in a book than she would interact with the real world. sorta like how the whole “sam seemed to go out of his way to meet [death]”, conversely, dawn tried to stay away from it as much as possible. she probably grew up wanting to explore and ‘see the world’ before she died, which was why she started joining volunteer programs to help people in other countries. she probably became more religious after her dad passed but hid it more when she got close to sanjay because of religious differences, which was why she and sanjay would have decided to raise their kids without religion. she cared a lot, but she showed it in a weird way; she was angry and paranoid, sure, but she did care. sorta like how i wrote odin.
gus - rebel kid. probably grew up with a resentment for his dad and saw him as the source for ‘mom leaving’ and such. gregory died when he was around 8 years old, which is just around the time hormones are about to go wild and puberty sets in, so he probably launched himself into a punk rock lifestyle to sort of rebel against his parents and deal with his grief in his own way when he felt no one else really understood him. since dawn was pretty hardheaded and stern and pessimistic like their father, gus probably didn’t feel all that comfortable talking to her, so he just bottled a lot of stuff up. sad baby
gregory - i feel like his story sums him up personality wise pretty well, idk, hes a baby
lewis - stoner kid. he probably grew up in india learning both english and hindi from his parents, and was generally a normal happy kid until his dad died. when he did and they moved back to the states, he would have been about 14, with milton at 10 and edith at 3. milton and lewis probably got along a lot for the year they were together in the finch house and while they were being homeschooled, and when milton disappeared he probably fell into a depressive state as he had no one else to really talk to around his age about the losses he experienced. not to mention as another anon said, he was the only finch to not really show any artistic talents, which further ostracized him from his family and everyone else. he probably took to drugs as a means to cope, which became a habit. when he graduated and isolated himself in his room to smoke and occasionally talk to edith, that’s when dawn signed him up for a job at the cannery to try to help coax him out and into a more healthy life, which of course backfired. overall though, he would have been a really nice person, if not sort of standoffish emotionally. he loved spending time with his siblings and his dad, though never really had much attachment to his mom. nice dude, 10/10, would smoke a bowl with him
milton - (in the words of mod milton: college art student doesn’t get sleep) ok thanks mod milton. ok so like. i see milton as being the super artsy kid in class, the one who’d say ‘i wanna be an artist when i grow up!’ and fucked around with paint all the time and stuff. as he got older he figured out how to make stuff work better (might have even been signed up for art classes) and figured out how to make landscapes and animate (with flipbooks) and such like that. he was probably a kid very eager to learn and discover new things, like how in an entire year he managed to find all the passageways in the finch house and disclose that information to lewis before he disappeared. very smart kid, practically a prodigy for his age in the world of painting and art
edith - sweet sweetheart baby child. probably grew up like the others, wanting to learn and figure out as much stuff as she possibly could. she took to drawing a lot and maybe even took pointers as a young 4 year old from her 11 year old brother milton before he disappeared. when he disappeared this probably raised a lot of curiosity in the young child and she wanted to learn more about her family history, but dawn wouldn’t allow it and edie wanted to respect her grandchild’s wishes despite her great-grandchild’s arguments. once they stopped being homeschooled (which idk what age that would be, i’d have to do math) and edith started going to public school, she may have been kind of insecure and introverted and kept to herself a lot of the time. when lewis died and she had to switch schools she probably gained more confidence from being in a place where no one knew her or her family history anymore and got herself a boyfriend which would lead to current situations in game.
I KNOW YOU SAID TO NOT WRITE PARAGRAPHS BUT THIS IS JUST HOW I DO MAN SORRY
-mod lewis
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