#and i'll be honest i still can't guarantee to anyone that eventually...you know? i can't realistically make that promise.

[septembersghost]

dear anon, i don't feel comfortable posting that ask, not out of lack of care for you, only out of deference and sensitivity for the rest of my followers in case anyone might find it triggering, but i am so sorry that you're struggling, and that you lost a friend who was hurting too. i really think you need to speak to someone if that is at all an option for you - please look into local resources, you can't manage this by yourself and you shouldn't have to be alone in it. there's no promise i can make to you that this will simply get better, i know life doesn't always work that way and sometimes it feels like the ground is slipping out from under you, and it's a constant fight to keep going and pushing through each day, and that can hurt and be exhausting, but you deserve to be here. you also deserve a safe place where you can be heard and given support to begin to heal. when it can be better even for only a moment, even for only a song or a page or a dream, those are anchors worth holding onto. healing itself isn't an easy or painless (or linear) process, i grapple with it constantly myself, though our situations may be quite different, but i believe, i know, that you have that strength and that you're worthy of it. even if you can only move little by little, one day at a time, that's valuable, that still has hope in it. the smallest things add up, and sometimes you will stumble into the light without even realizing it was there. i care that you're here. staying alive is enough. and so are you.

#not to get too graphic but since i do struggle with ideation off and on and have for 13 years...i know it's crushingly hard at times #i'm a little distanced from things atm so it's easier for me to confront this right now but for essentially the past three and a half years #i have lived in a constant state of contemplating when i'd have to die and how that could happen #i know it feels alternately terrible and tempting #and i'll be honest i still can't guarantee to anyone that eventually...you know? i can't realistically make that promise. #so all i can do is try each day to stay afloat and to cherish the time i have while it's here #and to love the things and people i'm so lucky to love while i have them. which is all ANY of us can do really #we never know what our time will be or how much we'll be given. but i do know that it's precious and it's worth having #the fact that you're alive is a miracle. i think of that so often it's practically a prayer. #viktor frankl said what is to give light must endure burning and i think about that too #i think about leonard cohen writing there's a crack in everything that's how the light gets in #i think about buffy saying strong is fighting. it's hard and it's painful and it's every day. it's what we have to do. #you have intrinsic value and you are enough and you deserve to be here #anonymous #letterbox #suicidal ideation tw

[gogolstoelicker]

OB gang with albedo mc ?

Like at first they got the cold treatment (aka how albedo treated anyone and anything he wasn’t interested in)

Then slowly they warmed up and got to see the other side of them ( aka how albedo treated the traveler (kinda smug low-key flirty etc)

OB! gang with Albedo! MC

a/n: •FUCK THAT MAN HE DIDN'T COME HOME EVEN WHEN I WAS GUARANTEED

•if im being honest, albedo would probably be so interest in twst that he could not be cold to them. well maybe some of them but I'll make it work

warning:spoilers abt book 6(that i myself barely know about but here we are)

Friendly and popular, you gained fame for your alchemical talents. Though popular, you have an extreme distaste for social interactions. Barely anyone knows anything of your personal life as you are quite secretive about it.

Fueled by the feeling of enlightenment, you research about the things that pique your interest and once the feeling is gone, you lose all interest. Along with your alchemical genius, you're also a respectable artist.

Riddle:

he had heard u were really good at alchemy and making potions from trey who heard from ace

so he is very much curious about your world and how you got to know alchemy

start up a convo with u when he saw u in the middle of his walk

and you're sketching grim LMAOAOAOA

literally acted like u didn't know he was there bc you're sketching can't he see🙄

riddle thought it was kind of rude and pointed it out

still acted like u dont know

it takes u finsihing the grim drawing for u to even look at him

we all know hes angry so lets skip!!

riddle would like to know the basic alchemy of ur world and got absolutely flabbergasted when u showed him

"how the heck did a magicless student like you managed do that⁉️"

"but that is basic alchemy??" -u after turning dust to a bird

eventually,riddle had to cut the convo short bc he have a schedule to follow🤗so u went back to grim sketching

he tried to invite you to the unbirthday party bc he really enjoyed ur convo

but u declined it

but still went there bc the adeuce duo forced you LMAOAOAOA

so like kapoosh kapow the ob happened and a day after that he got interrogated by u

no break for riddle💀

u were very much interested in how he felt before and after the ob, if anything changes about him after the ob, what was it really that triggered the ob and-

CALM DOWN HES TRYING TO ANSWER ONE BY ONE

you're like "🤔hmm i see" the entire time with this serious face

u also gave him a potion for quick recovery so good for him!!(u gave everyone who overblot btw im just too lazy to write for all)

saw ur sketchbook one and saw some sketches of him

in both his ob form and how he is normally

"🧍why did u drew me"

"u carry a different aura and look different from how u usually do, it's quite fascinating"

"BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY OVERBLOT??"

multitasking royalty😂🙌who knew you could draw him while fighting him off

Leona:

you've seen some people with ears like him back in your world so you're not exactly as interested 🤷

even ur assistant have non-human like ears

tho u do wonder if there's anything different abt him since hes technically not from ur world

i dont think yall will interact much before the ob but after? and when book 3 is happening??

knowing how he acts, you're quite disappointed

"not only are u skilled but you're also quite knowledgeable. you could've been something greater if only you could muster up some motivation and ambition in you other than for the throne"

leona goes 🤨🤬you picking a fight or smth⁉️

but then also got goosebumps bc why is this small fry doing analysis of him and how come you know so much already😱

ruggie snickering beside him bc bro got called out so hard

bc hes pissed at u, he quite literally got an A on every single subject LMFOAOAOAOA

mans live off of spite (me too)

you did saw it and was quite pleased hes showing more of his potential

praised him so hard u made his ego bigger

is this... the feeling of recognition😍⁉️ -leona /hj

saw ur sketches of him during ur stay in savanaclaw in book 3

was surprised you captured every single detail about him, lowkey smug abt it

"you were staring at me so hard huh. you could've just asked if you wanted to draw me"

"oh? then by all means, strike up a pose for me. i would love to draw u again"

"...i never said yes, herbivore"

Azul:

not interested in you other than taking ur dorm for business + not interested in him at all

signed the contract anyway bc why not LMAOAOA

totally not bc grim was trying to get u to sign it so bad, no. not at all

anyways now you're homeless and is staying at savanaclaw

lets skip a lil bc i literally have nothing to say

yknow when the tweels tried to sabotage yall?

u literally fend them off using ur geo vision

them: 😧⁉️

they did report to azul

"but that bitch is magicless⁉️" is what he would say if hes not a professional businessman

hes sobbing and crying and clutching his contracts bc how dare⁉️

and u found out he is an octopus like after the blot so yknow what that means

"i would like to see u in that form, if you do not mind"

azul's glasses breaking bc he absolutely refused to

"😕😔a shame but it's alright" *starts studying that childhood pic of him instead*

azul standing right behind u🕴

he did ask why do u wanna see that form of his

and u go "that's something u wouldn't find in my world, i would like to know everything i could know"

the tweels agreed for a price btw

idk whats the price dont ask me

u sometimes visit the lounge bc that place is pretty as hell

notices how u would draw the place sometimes and the gear in his head was working so hard on how to get money from that

peeked into the sketchbook once

saw many sketches of him in his other form or what u think would be his other form

and the way its so accurate😧⁉️

🕴🕴- u and azul

Jamil:

i feel like u would recognize him for his many talents??

and would totally go "why are u hiding it if you know you could do it🤨🤔"

"i do not know what you're talking about☺" -jamil

u just shrug bc oh well. none of ur business

hes kind of glad u decided to drop the topic but also kinda :/ bc there goes his plan if u could see through him that easily

he is quite knowledgeable so u often ask him abt his homeland and their designs there and everything else bc

my god is scarabia pretty😍

u drew scarabia so often its not even funny anymore

and yknow those times he would like hypnotize kalim?

u knew smth was up but decided not to confront jamil abt it

he witnessed u eating a spider one time

he considered letting u go back to ur dorm out of fear LMFAOAOAA

u noticed him and asked if he would like some

U EVEN RECOMMENDED HIM SPIDERS TASTED GOOD WITH THIS AND THIS💀

he was on the verge of tears😔🙏rip jamil, he could've lived a normal life if life loved him enough

u finding out jamil and kalim is a little like subject 2 and u: 😱⁉️(trying to uh replace someone's position or smth)

after the entire blot stuff, he absolutely let u know if theres any bugs around

bc like hell is he fighting those bugs

you're delighted bc yes nutritious foods!!

jamil watching it all:

Vil:

you drew vil quite a lot since he's very pretty

vil is quite drawn to u from the start bc you're also very pretty

has heard of how great you are at making potions and alchemy from epel

so when the program thing happened, hes quite happy that he got to talk to you more

since he was living with u, he could see the many drawings of him and the others (vil and the non-vils. u totally don't play favorite)

vil seeing those beautiful sketches, thinking of ways to promote yalls group with ur talent

he did commission u for it and even offered to pay

u going k sure, i dont mind

vil posted the art on social media and it got so many attention💀

and yknow how vil is so popular and all? yeah so many people asked him to get in touch with u so they could commission u smth bc ur talent is just so😍😍🙏🙏‼️‼️

congrats⁉️it was supposed to be for their promotion but u accidentally got promoted as well

vil is very happy and proud

well after the whole overblot thing, u sometimes visit pomefiore for various other reasons

sometimes bc some famous ppl wanted to get in touch with u, sometimes u just wanna go potion potion with vil

Idia:

he is actually very thankful that you're not interested in him in any way

or so he thought

you're in fact very interested in him

his hair is quite unique to you + his creations are quite interesting to you

"woah unique robots😍" u 5 mins before disaster

and by that i meant a bigass hole in the dorm you're staying in LNFAOAO

so yknow how rook, epel and mc tried to save the others by going to this place they're supposedly brought to?(i dont think i missed anyone)

and my god are u taking ur time

"what is this fascinating creature?" *tries to eat it*

"PREFECT NO!!" -epel and rook

be thankful you're not from their world or else you would've overblot for that

idia and ortho seeing it all🕴🕴

and when idia and ortho came to see yall, you are even more delighted

"i would like to study you, if you do not mind"

idia bc its supposed to be the other way around:

epel, rook and ortho staring at u:

u did ask again after the whole incident and he def did not broke out in cold sweat

#twst wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper #vil shoenheit #idia shroud

[stormdragon23]

Songs for Solo Leveling Ships Pt. 1

(Because I can guarantee I'm making another part)

Inspired by @manawari's post about ships and songs

Choibaek:

(I have an endless amount of songs for this ship, but we'll start with two here for now)

I promise it's not just because of the title- "You burnt that bridge A million times, a million tries You play with fire" I headcanon that Choi Jong-In is more open about his feelings than Baek Yoon-ho (though both still pine for each other without officially confessing). So every time Jong-In tries to get closer to Yoon-Ho, Yoon-Ho distances himself ("burns that bridge") because he's lost (or almost lost if we're being delusional here) Eun-Seok and Min Byung-Gyu and doesn't want to be close to anyone else only to lose them. "Every time we touch, my fingers burn I just want that love, don't leave me hurt " I can feel the rush when we ignite 'Cause every time we touch Every time we touch, I feel that fire"

Both of them don't want to get hurt yet can't deny that they have feelings for the other. I do like how the song is on the calmer side, which is how I see their love for each other, despite their arguing (it's probably a coping mechanism to be honest)

"You asked me how I feel, I say nothin' But lately colors seem so bright and the stars light up the night My feet they feel so light I'm ignoring all the signs I keep on frontin', yeah, I stay bluffin' I keep you wonderin', keep you huntin' for my lovin' But I crave us huggin', yeah, I stay stubborn Cause I can't admit that you got all the strings and know just how to tug 'em"

This song could be from either perspective though I personally see from Yoon-Ho's perspective, with Jong-In being able to read Yoon-Ho very well (as seen when Jong-In knew why Yoon-Ho came to the place where Sung Jin-Woo was retesting) while Yoon-Ho's in denial about liking Jong-In.

"I say "f**k you" while I'm thinking of you as my husband"

This line doesn't need an explanation. We all know it's their relationship in one sentence.

Heeseok:

Gotta have at least one Stray Kids song here (it's in English though, so it's okay)

"Got so many questions You seek information No need to be desperate"

Based on the brain rot I had with @manawari, this song is from Eun-seok's perspective. Park Hee-Jin's curious about Eun-Seok and the secrets he's hiding, despite not liking him, and Eun-Seok likes to tease her about it, making her dislike him even more.

"All that I want is you Even if I'm a fool Why do I fall for you? No turning back once we're connected"

Eun-Seok questions the feelings he has for Hee-Jin when he first realizes them, wondering why he likes her and why he wants to be with her. After spending a lot of time overthinking though, he eventually accepts his feelings for her.

Taenoru:

"Boy, you got me hooked onto something Who could say that they saw us coming?"

I see this song from Lim Tae-Gyu's perspective soon after he sparred with Hoshino Minoru during the Jeju arc. His feelings for Minoru probably came out of nowhere (like this ship). I don't think many people expected this ship to be a thing let alone the hunters.

"Spend a summer or a lifetime with me Let me take you to the place of your dreams"

This is mostly referring to their long-distance relationship since despite being in a relationship, they have their responsibilities in their respective guilds and are only able to see each other for part of the year. When they meet up though, that's when they're able to catch up on the things they weren't able to do while apart.

Sungpark:

"I have died every day waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more"

This song could be from either perspective, but I imagine it from Park Kyung-Hye's, especially with how she was waiting for Sung Il-Hwan. If they had reunited before, I imagine her saying something very similar to these lines to her husband.

"Time stands still Beauty in all she is"

Basically, what happened when Kyung-Hye succumbed to Eternal Sleep. Years passed for her as the world moved on, including her husband being stuck in the gate.

Minlee:

This actually used to be one of my favorite songs a while ago, and I only rediscovered it recently

"Those nights when shadows start to fall And the angels don't answer your call I'll help you chase the dark out Until your doubts begin to fade And your heart sings like a serenade Don't have to be afraid Now"

This song could be from either perspective too, especially with how I imagine Min Byung-Gyu and Lee Ju-hee helping each other with their traumas. For these lines in particular, I imagine one of them comforting the other when something triggered their trauma.

"If lightning ever strikes If tears burn out your flame I'll be your burning light I'll hold your candle in the rain"

Another line referring to how I see the two reassuring each other that they're safe now and how they're there for them. A cute song for a cute ship

#solo leveling #if you're looking for an in-depth explanation into their relationships this isn't it #i'm not great with words #choi jongin #baek yoonho #park heejin #eunseok #lim tae gyu #hoshino minoru #park kyung hye #sung il hwan #min byung gyu #lee juhee #choibaek #heeseok #taenoru #sungpark #minlee #solo leveling ships #Youtube

[kardinalsynspeaks]

It finally happened. There wasn't one moment in particular that spurred everything into motion, yet here I am. My mind has arrived at the crossroads I knew it would reach the moment my heart was broken beyond what I felt I could ever repair. I just...don't care much about almost anything anymore, and that doesn't mean I'm not passionate. I still have my goals, love my family and friends, and still feel driven to fulfill promises old and new. I still have empathy, kindness, and love within. Everything else? Nothing. It's not like when I stuffed everything to the back of my brain and tried not to think about it, then said I was uncaring. This is an entirely different feeling. Beneath it all is something on the opposite end of the spectrum. I can't classify it as rage or anger, mostly because I'm not actually upset...but it's white hot. I feel it pushing me to action; forcing me to ignore my natural propensity for passivity and sliding me along into uncharted territory.

Upholding vows and promises have been the cornerstones of my character my entire life. I don't think I would have been strong enough to survive to this point without having a will of iron, yet I wonder what makes me so much different than others. It doesn't really matter at the end of the day, does it? I'm precisely who I need to be. I don't feel whole...not quite, but I know it's close. I had to lose half the light of my world to find myself and discover how powerful I could truly become. I felt sorry for myself for too long afterward. Mourning is a natural human reaction to trauma, but I'm not dead. I still have a heart, and I still have so much more to do to fill it. I'm unsure whether I'll ever put myself in a position to allow anyone to hurt me again. Love, like most things involving other people, stops being an appealing option when one party has even the slightest bit of doubt. My patience will be sorely lacking in that area for quite some time, which is odd, because I'm unusually patient in every other way. The wound is nearly healed, but if a bear trap nearly caused you to lose a foot while you're in the woods one day, I guarantee you would pay closer attention to the ground every day for the rest of your life. I bear her no ill will. Hopefully she'll get that one day. Heartbreak didn't turn me into a monster. It turned me into something, but it couldn't make me cruel. My kids don't need an animal for a father, and there are far too many wonderful things the world has to offer to allow this experience to taint it. And, at the end of the day, I still believe in her and know she'll eventually figure out how to be happy with herself and her place in the world. I've learned you can love someone dearly and not be in love with them. I don't think I am capable of being in love right now. I'll always know in my heart we're soulmates because a soulmate is more than just a fancy label you attach to the person you happen to date at any time. I felt like I knew her through hundreds of lifetimes the first time her eyes met mine. The last time we were face to face and looked at each other...same thing. She's my mirror and I'm hers. And none of that means anything romantic. Soulmates don't always end up together, and that's perfectly acceptable. Our children know I loved her with the heat of one thousand suns and that I'll never allow anything bad to happen to her. I can rest easier with that knowledge. What the future holds, I don't know, but we're not good for each other now. To be more precise, the man she was married to for four years isn't good for her. I don't know who is good or bad for me at the moment. To be quite honest, I don't really care one way or the other. Either love will find me or it won't. I already have all of the love I need. It's funny...I never wanted kids, yet these two ended up saving me and making me want to be better. Life is such a strange thing.