#and im just. very fuckin upset idk

[agayconcept]

.

#im rly mad at myself bc i was gonna go to a local queer art hang yesterday #but got halfway to the bus stop and had a full blown panic attack #and had to give up and go home #i know why it happened its bc i had a drs appt earlier in the day that went rly badly and i was already an emotional wreck #but i was rly hoping to make it to that event so i could cheer myself up and make some good good queer connections #but i freaked out instead and had to sit on a curb while i shook like a fuckin chihuahua #and now there's only 1 hang left this summer before it stops which i Will make myself go to no matter what #but still #im just. rly upset bc i wanted to go #i know some of the folks who attend and they're all rly fun and it would've been nice to see them and chill w them again #and im just. very fuckin upset idk #im Disappointed in myself and i Know i shouldnt be but i fucking am #im so stupid mad at mysslf for never being able to handle fucking anything #even when its something i rly rly wanna do #like #its just. getting to the point of devastating #i lost a lot of friends thru covid and my homelessness-mental breakdown-isolation-hospitalization years #and the few i still have r gr8 but i dont rly get to see them often #and i'd like to see them more often but ofc i cant make myself ask that bc oh look another impending panic attack #jfc im just. so done w my brain. i h8 living inside this stupid thing so fucking much its literal hell #I MISS MY FRIENDS #I MISS HAVING COMMUNITY #I FEEL ALONE ALL THE FUCKING TIME #see i can scream that into the internet void just fuckin fine but cant even reach out to ppl to be like 'hey. been a while. sup?' #just. UGHHSHSJSJ #like ya my agoraphobia is 10x worse since i got transphobically assaulted this month but like #even when its not for that reason i am still an anxious MESS all the time #and that shitty drs appt? was a psychiatrist telling me he refuses to prescribe me anxiety meds bc he doesnt trust me on them #and that im too dependent on them to cope/function. ummm. YA MY GUY THATS WHAT THEYRE FOR ??? TF ???? #now that im off them i cant be in public w/o hyperventilating. fuck rite off dude i'll find a diff dr to renew the script who isnt a jackass

[yourlocalabstraction]

your soul design is so yumilicious I need all the details now on my dinner plate

fr tho I want to know all the soul design lore how did you create such a creature /vpos

OKOKOHHHHHHOKOK BUCKLE IN. YOU’RE GONNA GET THE FULL DESIGN PROCESS

I struggled the most with Soul ngl. I couldn’t really think of anything I could add that would differentiate him from the fanon standard. I’m a lil upset I couldn’t think of something more original, but nonetheless he turned out quite lovely !!!

I started with the color picking. I was very insistent on making everyone’s colors proportional to eachother. The main colors should have (about) the same saturation/brightness, contrasting colors that are the exact opposite hue of the main color, respective black/grey/white values (soul’s ‘grey’ color is more teal bc color theory but yea), shit like that i guess. The final palette is on the right, it’s what I use today.

Soul never got fully fleshed out concept sheets like the other two. I guess my brain just filled in the rest of the gaps without having to draw them. (I apologize for never finishing these btw. It’s been months man. I hope the blorbo doodles in the corner make up for it) The second image was done a lot later than the first btw. Idk if that matters but I’m bringing it up anyway.

His fit inspo came mostly from Pinterest. I just compiled a bunch of shit I think he’d wear. Plus a majestic cape because it makes him look plenty more epic.

OK MOVING ON. I decided that his main gimmick would be my take on his shaded side. The idea was to make it represent dissonance, and how it affects Soul. The shadow is basically just this fuckin void. It has no physical form, and you can just stick your hand in there if you’d like (he sometimes stores the trident there). However I wouldn’t recommend it. The feeling is indescribable, but very uncomfortable. The void has a life of it’s own in a way. It does not stay confined within the Soul’s physical form (or in my case, his lineart). When conflict is at a high, like, tridential regicide level high, the void will get very close to fully overtaking him. It only fully disappears once true concord is reached, and starts reforming when the next cycle starts.

Also, the mask !!!!! Throughout cacophony, Soul is having a huge fucking identity crisis and shit. He doesn’t really have a physical organ like the other two. He doesn’t know why he’s here, or what he did to deserve this, or why nothing he’s trying works, and just. What is he if he’s failing at his main purpose???? I think because of this, he doesn’t like showing his face around the other two. He needs to assert is power, and thinks that showing his face will make him come of softer and less of someone to obey, if that makes sense. He only really takes it off when he’s alone in his room or pocket dimension (still trying to decide if they have a mock ‘apartment’, or ever did at one point). But once he has the character arc in Two Wuv, it permanently comes off !!! Wahoo!!!!!!! If only the next cycle weren’t to start, resetting his newfound self image to its previous state !!!!!!!!!!

Ok this is getting long im putting a read more thing

This image was very helpful for designing the tine shapes!! Guess which one is Soul’s !!!!!! (Spoiler alert, im pretty sure its either the 2nd or 6th ones in the 2nd row. However i genuinely dont remember. This may not even be the right image)

Soul also has a strange tie with eyes. If the halves have pissed him off to the point of no return, he does this fuckin analog horror stare that freaks the shit out of them (although heart cant see he remembers it very well. Plus, he just k n o w s that extra eye is there). I haven’t really played around with this, but I like the idea of a freakishly absurd amount of eyes hidden within the shadow. I should maybe like. Draw that sometime.

Also, expect a Soil patch update in the future!! I’d like to make his fangs more deranged, and maybe add an earth pattern to the cape. Right now, he has no symbols on him that represent him in the astronomy metaphor.

Uhhhh i hoped this helped??? If i missed anything you were hoping to know about, do let me know !!!!!!!

#i need a tag for posts like this #i shall call it #design lore #cj rambling #chonny jash #cccc #chonnys charming chaos compendium #taps asks #cj soul

[saccharinemeat]

What are your opinions on Hfjone ships?

oh fucking man

okay imma get crucified , but here we go. opinion on popular ones + my own rareship

Liam/Bryce

fucking SUCKS. it can only work if you're self aware about how absolutely awful and hurtful liam is,and i feel from what ive seen that the fandom just reduces them to 'omg doomed yaoi' and like, woobifies them. This ship only and only works as one sided,forced and extremely toxic (in my eyes). Bryce deserves better than Liam, and liam relentlessly hurts Bryce down to the very goddamn end (← i say this as someone who is currently fuckin obsessed with liam and self recognizes in him 😐)

Liam/Amelia

I like this one. I feel like theyre pretty good for each other, although, it's sort of a doomed one,in the sense of how it would work only if they were to be in the plane forever. I do feel like Amelia sort of lost herself in the plane forever. If those two ever got out, he'd have to take some charge on their shared recovery and Liam is NOT gonna deal with that well. Still a cute ship,and I like it.

Amelia/Charlotte

...why? this feels like pairing the leftover main characters because everyone is focused on the Boys TM. they dont really have any chemistry,like,even theorically i feel like they wouldn't mesh well,unless you wanna make Amelia basically Charlotte's therapist. But yay, women! i can't be mad about this one,really. I don't mind it

Liam/Airy

Lairy is...complicated, emotionally. I can see it actually being a thing,but it's really in a fucked up way. definitely a 'i hope we both die' kind of pairing. I think about it and it gives me heartache that i cant explain. it hurts because they both are awful in different ways but also they are trying. I will say i do enjoy it but in a way that makes me hurt. lots of angst there. I think this one especially benefits from becoming a ship that happens after moldpack being A thing

Liam/Charlotte

Okay this one is not popular,in fact i feel like nobody but me is into it but theres so much potential here. especially the way they would be so horribly,terrifyingly bad to each other. I can imagine Charlotte getting out instead of Bryce,and how different it all would be. her prideful nature and liam's manipulative tendencies are so deliciously wrong. I feel they would bring the worst out of each other. I have a lot to say about them but like. Consider those first 5 months. Liam was as isolated as Charlotte was,he only sorta rejoined the others in the last two months stretch, and I think they might've interacted during that. And just, Charlotte WOULD be interested in solving the mystery,she would jump on that chance because she needs control and Liam would be elated at first and horrified later and AGH it would be so messy and interesting. please ask me more about moldpack. im the charlotte/liam person number 1 fan now.

and now rapid fire other ships,

Oscar/Bryce - can see it,and i feel like it makes sense within Bryce's trauma streak. I can imagine them bonding and it getting a bit too close

Bryce/Stella - I wish this had more exploration,object shipcest is so insanely rare. I like it

Taylor/Amelia - kinda cute,can see it if taylor stayed in the plane. Especially if it starts as a sort of one sided crush that goes too far

Liam/Owen - this is cute,can kinda see it but only in a no-show scenario (as in, ONE never happened and this is a coworker romance thing)

Charlotte/Parker - it upsets me,but i can see them as having hooked up once and Parker catching feelings while Charlotte is super uncomfortable about it and that explains that weird tension.

Bryce/Amelia - eh. sure? it's cute but i dont care for it a lot. also i dont care for sodacentpack a lot,but it's better than sodapack alone i Guess. get ♣️'d lmao

ALSO, the crackship/crossover with showvember

Airy/Popcorn - NO. piss off the joke is boring and lame and IDK i hate it.

#proship #antis dni lmao #hfjone #hfjone ships #hfjone spoilers #moldpack #charliam #osc

[lovelyrotter]

pretty stressed today cause its 4:40pm already so i have to think of dinner

but our partner system isnt hungry at all and doesnt want to think of food in an ED kinda way. which i get, i totally get. but im not about to let them starve and if i start later than 5pm we wont eat until well after dark and im just. stressed out about it. but i dont dare push them rn cause theyre having an episode of everything while still having to do their shift and im worried about upsetting the balance they have right now. there are no good options and im trying really hard to be patient. im not the alter for patience. im the alter for solving things but theres no good solution for anything right now and im frustrated as fuck about it. im trying really hard not to feel resentful. thats not the reaction i should have ever point fuckin period

they said the thing to do in this situation is to just Give Them Food to corner them with it but we cant fuckin do that because thats the one massive ED trigger that we still have. thats what our mother did to us and we cant do that to someone else much less our gd partner system. i dont know what to do and theyre not going to help because staying alive is literally all they can do rn so im just stuck between two EDs while also worrying about my very diabetic FIL. how the fuck are we gonna survive this. we need to get them to canada but thats also the two of us between a rock and a hard place because we dont want to leave him to fend for himself. holy fucking shit. we are the only one here whos equipped to make any kind of decision at any given point and we're still barely taking care of ourselves idk how the hell weve been taking care of other people. this is why i dont front. i want to leave when it gets difficult. and that aint a good reflex to have

#my t

[girlwithfish]

im trying to hold it together and i guess i could be more open or vulnerable w my family abt how i mdoimg but i dont feel comfortable w that. but then it results in them thinking im doimg bad and having this negative view of me that they dont actually address to my face and think im spending too much time w a guy i dated too fast im not doing anything else and it just makes me upset bc last time i tried talking to my mom abt this stuff cuz my sister suggested i talk to her and it just feels weird having to explain myself i really do not like it but im trying to be considerate of other ppls feelings i guess 👍and my mom just tells me things i already know all the generic stuff ppl tell u to do when ur life is in the shitter make friends go out get a job spend time w urself like i am working towards all of these things and i feel ashamed its a slow process or im not instantly there i guess? but i see myself trying every day this week and i know myself best but i guess other ppl dont see it and some of it is concern but i just hate people feeling sorry for me or butting in to my life idk👍wish i lived alone so badly. I habe applied to a job that i am really hoping i get and am gonna do my best to at least get an interview im trying to make friends and its been fuckin hard cuz bumble bff is a warzone but i made.myself reply to people today and all i do is spend time w myself if im not w the guy im seeing and i am used to it now and like having my time to myself w no one elses influence thats the nice part. I walked and ran for two days in a row which isnt a lot but i started somewhere and im probably not gonna do it today bc i feel really low today so im trying to not beat myself up over it. i foudn a therapist ive. been trying to get on top of my dental health n eye doctor stuff which i had this week. Blablabalbla i feel im trying to do all the things ur supposed to and yeah its slow im not at the final Oh shes doing ok in life point yet but i am working towards it and i feel like thwts something. i dont cry anymore when i was crying a lot the first week of december when i was very fucking angry and upset abt every thing in my life being out of my hands and it still feels that way now but im trying so hard to just make peace w the fact that this is my situation for now 👍

[weirdlizard26]

ok im going try to write my initial thoughts on mutant mayhem, MASSIVE TMNTMM SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT obviously!! another note is that a lot of these arent final ofc, just my first reaction! i will def be on the lookout for a closer investigation of these points by people smarter than me, i just need to write these down. ok lets go

.

ill start with the exceptional positives :-) the animation was STUNNING and the fight scenes and chase sequences??????/ fuckin breathtaking!!! i think the dynamic btwn the turtles was rly fun too :-) and an interesting take on leo's whole leader situation! like that scene where the guys were surprised that hes on board with the hero plan,,, i also rly liked the little nods to other iterations, like when in the end raph said hes glad his brothers are the last thing hes gonna see before dying felt so similar to what 2014 raph said in a very similar situation and it was fun to notice hehe. also i know donnie having a purple hoodie is pretty generic but i like to think it was a callback to rise donnie :-) AND I CRIEDDDD WHEN THE HUMANS STARTED HELPING THEM OUT IN ANY WAY THEY COULD,,, THAT WAS SO SWEET AND I LOVE THIS SORT OF THING IN SUPERHERO MOVIES,,

now as for negatives. not a fan of the milking gag 😬 it just made me kinda uncomfortable tbh. so upset abt baxter dying right off the bat :-( idk if it wouldve been bad for the narrative or whatever but i just wish he survived. and its kinda. weird that the ONLY character to die in this movie was him idk. also not feelin great about all the mutants introduced in the movie being siblings/cousins???? especially since splinter ended up dating the cockroach lady?...... like. superfly's group all consider each other siblings and they consider the turtles their cousins and splinter is the turtles' dad so. like i know its a cartoon and its not that deep but i Do Not Like That. really fucking wish they used literally anything other than ao/t for donnie's anime of interest. come on man. also really wish the puking wasnt. like that. or wasnt there at all. man. maybe its just me idk. and finally! got some mixed feelings on the conclusion with superfly. LIKE. yes obviously the goal of murdering all humans on earth is Bad but ultimately his point was that humans cant accept the existence of mutants. and i mean. his point was kinda proven over and over again throughout the movie? and literally the only reason the mutants (minus superfly) were welcomed into society or whatever was because they helped defeat "a bad mutant". but that. sends a weird message? i think? bc like. so if youre just existing as someone different from others, people can just outcast you and thats totally cool and fine and if you want to be accepted you have to be useful to them in some way? i dont think thats a very good message gdkjfgd,,, idk maybe its not that deep either but it left me feeling kinda. wondering how long this would even last,, which sounds pretty pessimistic but i hope im getting my point across.

thats all i had to say on the matter for now! once again, im looking forward to reading more different opinions on this movie and im hoping someone mentions any of this so i know im not insane <3 ig let me know what u think if u think its important? im always always willing to learn

#wl26 #tmnt #mm #turtleposting #this is so nerve wracking to post kgdfjngd guy who is so anxious #(guy who is just stating his initial reaction to a movie) surely this makes me a bad person

[raid3r-r4bbit]

someone broke into my apartment. I havent been on because the only thing i have that i can access the internet on is my work computer ( i can get into trouble for using even spotify on that) and my switch ( just got it last monday. in another situation id be ecstatic about getting a new game system, but right now im just glad i didnt leave it out in the open)

Firstly, sorry if the formatting weird, im not used to my new phone yet.

Secondly im sorry for the people who wanted drawings from me, im gonna try my best to recreate them and post them.

Thirdly, this is really fucking long, tldr, someone broke it, let one of my cats out stole my tablet, phone, and a bunch of my games so thats why i was gone. read for details? I guess? I wouldnt lol.

also fuck you theres typos, of course theres gonna be typos.

SO…

small town does not equal no crime. After the (insert wherever the power comes from) was fixed, it has some issues and shut down again a few days later. idk why. My rm and i decided to walk to the gas station for lunch, they had power, music, cold drinks and food, and bathrooms that have functioning lights. Our landlord said it would only be a few hours, so we used our backup battery packs ( yes the ones we’re only supposed to use for work or incase of emergency) to power a fan and opened a window (the little net thing closed) for the cats and left.

because we were only going to be away for an hour, i left my phone (by accident) and tablet on the couch. in plain view of the window.

well, we have a lot of college students who walk directly by out porch ( i even had a girl threaten to call the cops on me for smoking… on my own fuckin porch) and two other girls who decided it was public chatting place and were upset that interupted them wheni asked them to leave.)

we dont know if it was a college student, or someone else, called the cops and got it all sorted there wasnt much they could do ( figures)

they came in through the window, and we think they either left it open, or that Patches, one of my cats, got out when the opened it, because she was gone when we came home, and she liked to hang out by the window. Thankfully, miso hates going outside, and katsu is scared of everyone and hides when people come over. we still havent found patches. im not worried about her, she didnt really like us, she isnt declawed, and she was orginally an outdoor cat anyways. we left out food and water and liter for her, but if she comes back she comes back. ive lost enough animals not fret over it. (tbh if it was on of the other two id probably sob)

but whoever broke in stole a bunch of my game stuff. we dont think they even went into out bedrooms, cause nothing was out of place. it took me realizing some of out stuff, the cat and the askew window (what the fuck is that thing called??) to realize we’d been robbed. ( well me actually, my roomate keeps all his stuff in his room which is fair because other than HBO i pay for all the streaming services, and i (thankfully still have) 4 consoles, which wont fit in my tiny ass room.)

they took my phone and tablet. (not worried about the phone, it was some dinky burner phone) a package off our porch ( it was mario kart, i got a switch like last monday, and the only game i have is animal crossing. very fun. thankfully, id left it on my desk.) they also took a few of my games, thankfully i have duplicates of most of the ones they took and digital copies.

ironically, the version of TLOU and FO4 (i have 4 copies of fo4 including the digital copy) were the scratched up versions, they did take my copy of infamous for the ps3. and they also took my unopened copy of RDR2. so like, pricey items but the only thing im upset about are my tablet and my cat.

for those wanting the drawings i promised, i will still get them to you, thankfully i had a warranty on it and its getting replaced after the police finish whatever it is they say they do. ( doubtful) so it may take a hot minute.

however it also means i have to completely restart my issue 2 of my comic, as i hadn't saved the final pages and the wips anywhere other than my phone and tablet. personally, im frustrated, but it gives me a chance to change a few wee details and try out a style ive been thinking on.

so im probably not going to be super super active for the next few (idk how long, im sorry) but i will draw what i said i would.

As for patches, i told my mom if she comes back pregnant ( again -_-) that we are going to yeet her into a rocket to live with the martians, and get a new cat. (or if she doesnt come back. we work best with a three cat ratio) if its boy we are probably going to name him garbanzo. (this is mostly a joke, but she was intended to be temporary as a friend of mine couldnt keep her anymore and we had been looking for a home for her. surprisingly, nobody wanted a super chill calico who enjoyed nothing but food and sitting directly on your trachea.)

anyways, im tired. ill be patiently waiting for my new tablet and trying to make my ACNH island as destroyed and apocalyptic as possible. (new squared? i got the other one for my birthday last year, so its been almost a year exactly. my birthdays on the 28th <_< >_> if anyones interested in knowing.)

sorry if this is a ramble. im high af and somewhere in between pissed off, depressed, and overly happy about tiny little animals and bells.

#ps #cant stress enough #wherever she is #im 100% sure patches is ok #shes a hardy take no shit cat #i feel nad for not getting her spayed but she came to us pregnant #and the vet hasnt had an opening for spaying

[bathtub4rats]

tell me facts about your batman unburied riddler NOW/nf

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY SO (im going to assume you meant beyond?)

He's just another kid that goes to Terry's school, he's one of those types of villains.

He's very smart of course and is very good with engineering and electronics, he makes a lot of his own gear- like his digital emote mask, his cane, and his hoverboard (which i totally didn't just draw Sonic's board from Sonic Riders for the Gamecube) And he gets upset when his skills are challenged

I think he doesn't actually commit any crimes, he's very careful about that hes trying to graduate with honors and can't be fuckin up his 4.0- so he's just a pain in the ass. I think he'll set up elaborate plans and pull Batman into a whole riddler thing just to waste his time in the end for fun

I think he spray paints clues and his riddles on building walls or leaves intricate mechanical statues and stuff around for batman to find, and it'll all imply stuff like someone's going to bomb the clock tower and its just nothing,

At school, he doesn't talk to people much

he always has headphones on and ignores anyone who tries to talk to him, bc of this everybody assumes he's listening to music and just says whatever around him, but he hears it he knows a lot of secrets

He has joint issues, maybe hypermobility idk, so he uses a cane a lot and often has knee braces on (Also why he has a hoverboard, it hurts a lot less than running would)

And I think he's very into retro stuff and like batman history, bc we Know that Riddler did exist in this universe bc Bruce has an animatronic version of him, so I think This Eddie learned about the first riddler and thought fuck yea I love riddles and just became the riddler 2.0

edit: OH OH HIS CANE!! the cane handle latches onto his belt with a magnet and when he takes it off and the magnets disconnect it extends out into a cane, otherwise its just the handle

Thats all I have thought up in the brain, If i think of anything else I'll for sure add it on later

if you're looking for my doodles I've tagged them all as Beyond Riddler :)

#beyond riddler #Im losing my mind im kissing you anon #I don’t really have a lot of hcs I just spin him in my head

[sga-owns-my-soul]

thanks @frostysfrenzy for the tag!!

Were you named after anybody? nope! my siblings both have their middles names after our grandparents but i’m not named after anyone

When was the last time you cried? uhh idk honestly i think a few days ago?

Do you have kids? no and i don’t want any. my brother has two girls and my friend has a kid and i love them but i am more than happy in the aunt role thanks

Do you use sarcasm a lot? it was tempting to respond to this with sarcasm 😂😂 yes i use sarcasm a lot i am a very sarcastic person and it’s a little problematic honestly

What sports did you play/have you played? when i was a tiny baby child i played soccer, and in grade 7 i did cheerleading which i loved and desperately want to get back into some day, even just casually

What’s the first thing you notice in somebody? idk probably their hair honestly

Eye colour? blue but they get really grey when i’m upset apparently (idk i don’t tend to look in mirrors when i’m crying)

Scary movies or happy endings? i do love some good angst or suspension but i’m a sucker for a happy ending (especially a happy ending following an angsty story that’s some good stuff)

Any special talents? does cat grooming count? i don’t wanna brag or boast so i won’t go too much into it (unless people want me to bc tbh i could probably make an essay about it) but i’m really good at what i do and a big part of it is bc i respect the cats and if they are telling me “no this needs to stop” i will always listen. cats are very dramatic and i know the difference between “i’m annoyed and this sucks” and “i am not okay with this situation and i’m warning you that you need to stop” and listening when they need you to makes SUCH a difference in the service. anyways i’m proud of the work that i do and i’m really passionate about it (and i’m kinda really good)

Where were you born? in a hospital! in the horrible province of alberta, canada! (i’m kidding it’s actually a beautiful province and there’s a lot to love our government just kinda sucks and a lot of people are really bigoted)

What are your hobbies? i watch a lot of tv (stargate mostly at the moment surprise surprise) and read/write fan fic (take a guess what) but i’ve been trying to pick up some more stuff that takes me away from screens. i started drawing, which im horrible at and i love. i started knitting, and as soon as i get the right needles im gonna make a temperature blanket. im also trying to take up swimming, dancing, and rock climbing to get into better shape! i love all 3 activities im just really bad at making myself be active so it’s a slow process lol

Do you have pets? yes!! currently just my orange gremlin, charlie (should i make a post about him i feel like he deserves a space on my blog idk lemme know if i should) and he owns my heart (even if he is a fuckin menace who ruins my life and never lets me sleep)

How tall are you? idk 5’2? 5’3? ish? somewhere around that range

Favourite subject in high school? theatre in general but specifically tech theatre. i took a theatre intensive class all 3 years of high school and it was 4 classes rolled into one and tech theatre was one of them. i ended up doing stage management in grade 11 kind of as a fluke and i fell in LOVE it was so much fun i miss it

Dream job? cat grooming 🥰🥰🥰 i love it so so much and i love that i get to do it for my career

this was so fun thanks again for the tag!! i’m gonna tag @the-mushroom-faerie @spurious @books-space-things @zababova-pomsta @colonelshepparrrrd and as always anyone else who wants to but hasn’t been tagged! ((no pressure to do this if you don’t want to!))

#this was fun thanks!! #i have way too many thoughts lol #no one cares stick #it’s fine i entertain myself #tag game #about me #personal rambles #not stargate

[personuhh]

hi. i just wanted to say thank you for liking yosuke so much, and in the way that you do. i just peeked at a stream of p4g bc i was thinking of him and it was like. no one was giving him a chance. i don't think he's owed one, and i get that he's not a sympathetic character to a lot of people but... it was just... like, when he was being sweet with nanako ppl were still acting like he was a one dimensional character. and when they had a chance to criticize him it was like they were relieved. idk. im probably a little too upset, i shouldn't be upset at all, he's fictional. it just felt like... he really had absolutely no one in his corner... anyway. i love him. i also love kanji. and i really love the meta you have here.

I'm glad you could find enjoyment in my posts! I feel the same way, it's always been incredibly frustrating to me, and has limited a lot of the stuff i feel i can enjoy in the fandom. It also happens to be why i frequently take long breaks from Persona.

I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to be upset about all of that, in my experience, the people who really love Yosuke also strongly relate to him, so it can sometimes feel like a personal attack when someone shits on him. I've definitely had to back away many times because I know I can be stubborn when it comes to Yosuke's characterization and the way people misinterpret his character; i feel that unfortunately because so many people have strong opinions on both sides about Yosuke's character, (many of us can relate to him, but plenty of people who dislike him have endured a real-life Junpei Yosuke) it's hard to have a calm and informed discussion when it's often so personal, and very easy to raise your hackles and fight when someone insults him. At the end of the day, people are entitled to their opinions even if they're wrong but I've found it's a lot more rewarding and worthwhile to try and curate the people you follow and interact with and all of the posts shared between you instead of getting into it because you saw a post that's just objectively fuckin' wrong.

#ask ada #and as always. shen's p4 stream is the only stream ever to exist #fellow yosuke defender

[angelt0rres]

ok i KNOW the ask game said specify a character but i think all ur pronoun/sexuality takes on all the mash guys would be very cool :3

M*x im fucking love you thank you for the precious gift youve given me…

ALRIGHT M*A*S*H BOYS NIGHT PRIDE EDITION

Hawkeye- is malewife a gender nah but weirdly enough i think Hawk is a he/him but in a “Harry Styles wearing a skirt and nail polish in 2018 while everyone on the internet collectively lost their shit” way. He is, as if I even had to say it, a disaster bisexual.

Trapper- all around red blooded american man, he/him, not exactly disaster bisexual but bisexual with a sunglasses emoji infusion 😎. he WOULD find it funny/endearing if you used she/her pronouns like yes I am that bitch hello how may I help you.

B.J. HUNNICUT IS THE WHOLE FRUIT SALAD. Idk this is just my hc but I feel like he is definitely in a lavender marriage with Peg like they definitely are best friends and they do love eachother but holy fuck Bea Jay Hunnicut is a funny little mlm he/they I want to see him in pain

Frank Burns- he fucking sucks i dislike talking about him but I really wish they fleshed out the “secret repressed homosexual that hates himself” idea so yeah he/him passably straight on the outside little fruit tart on the inside

Charles Emerson Winchester III- Secret Repressed Homosexual that Hates Himself Prime. I am a gay Charles purist and I can and absolutely will die on this hill. who the fuck is Donna He/Him and sometimes the royal “we” just cause hes my special little guy and he can.

Henry Blake- his pronouns are they/them! actually though? I feel like Henry could pretty solidly slot into the non-binary identity. Is this based on fact? No! Its based entirely on vibes (which is arguably more accurate) unrelated but they would also wear the “Women want me fish fear me” hat without a trace of irony

Sherman Potter- now THERE is a trans man who wouldve fuckin thrown down at stonewall. he/him StraightGuy tm who just loves his wife and his horses Very Much. arent there a lot of stories of AFAB ppl dressing as men to join the army? also i hc all of his buds in Old Soldiers to be trans guys too.

Radar- whats that post that goes like “I think Radar is autistic with massive amounts of t boy swag” its really funny but I would like to tweak the narrative n this one. I think Radars mom has the type of rural homegrown wisdom where she thinks the severity of her morning sickness would determine the babies gender so she assumed Radar would be a girl so everyone got her little dresses and painted the Radars room pink but after Radar was born she just. raised her as a girl anyway? you cant exactly scrap a 1-10 year female wardrobe and buy new in Ottumwa so out of convenience he was raised as a girl but recognized as a boy. so i feel by the time he gets drafted in korea and has spent plenty of time performing as both genders he really doesnt care anymore and only prefers mens clothing because he personally finds it more comfortable. i think he would accept he/she/they pronouns and be demisexual.

Klinger- said you were a lesbian girl me too I really dont know how to explain is but Klinger is both a straight man and a lesbian at the same time. definitely he/they/she and demisexual like Radar… i feel like Klinger is your dads older sibling and Radar is your moms younger sibling. same vibes for sure but different auras.

Father Mulchahy- ive been waiting for this one (and another thank you to M*x for letting me on my soapbox) FATHER! MULCHAHY! IS! NOT! ASEXUAL! HE! TOOK! A VOW! OF! CHASTITY! TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS! Please dont feel like im coming for your neck specifically if this is your hc its totally valid to want ace representation and it would only feel natural to assign it to the character who doesnt have any relationships as a part of their backstory or characterization but I feel like only assigning Mulchahy with this role is not only some pretty upsetting ace tokenism but harmful to the sanctity of his faith and vows he took on as a priest. That being said! I think Mulchahy is bisexual (and would probably think Jesus was too) and I think you could address him with he/they pronouns but has a slight preference towards he.

Sidney Freedman- It seems like almost everyone in my post has come down with a case of the bisexual he/theys 🤒 but yeah besides Hawkeye I think Sidney would be the vocal about his identity? He could run circles around homophobes and transphobes who try to claim gay/transness to be a disease and I think his wife probably knows and supports his identity although they remain monogamous (Sidney is NOT a cheater >:( )

Thanks so much for the ask!! I hope I answered thouroughly enough and if I forgot anyone please let me know so I can hit myself really hard with a cast iron pan

[atlabeth]

SPOILERS FOR ST VOL2 UNDER THE CUT 🚨🚨🚨🚨 YOUVE BEEN WARNED

barely any of my friends watch st so i need somewhere to dump all my thoughts bc my brother won’t care

okay so that was a ride

i think it’s funny how literally all the theories i saw on here were wrong

but that being said i also think the direction they took it was kinda anticlimactic?

there were so many parts they had to work with that it kinda felt like no one got the time they deserved

like there were some very well done things obviously. eddie’s guitar solo was killer and max’s sacrifice was the only part where i nearly cried

and the sequence at the end w running up that hill playing and everyone doing their individual parts that was really good too

speaking of max and eddie

how about that huh?

OKAY DONT KILL ME but i wasn’t that affected by eddie’s death, i thought he was a cool character but i didn’t get attached to him at all. i got more sad when dustin was talking to his uncle but i definitely saw it coming. it was really cool that he finally stood his ground but his death was honestly pretty unnecessary, i think the vecna crew would’ve been okay either way. but i know a lot of my moots are eddie stans and for you i mourn 😔😔i’m sorry guys i’m here for u

but max dying ??? like that fuckin got me. yeah she came back but i did not expect for her to actually DIE???? idk how eleven brought her back but i’m thankful for it lol. sadie’s acting was phenomenal

i also thought will and jonathan’s brother chat was well done, i wish they more explicitly said that will was gay and he was into mike but i mean. it was pretty obvious in every scene they were in together lmao

i’m kinda upset at how much they ignored the stuff between robin and nancy in favor of nancy and steve

and the fact that she didn’t even talk to jonathan about what happened w steve?? mans literally said he imagined you in his plans for six kids and you don’t think you should tell your boyf

but okay

i wish there was ronance but i’m happy robin and vickie got a scene together. if robin can’t get nancy i’m cool w vickie

i am kinda disappointed at the ending? like i’m happy that everyone got their reunion together it made my heart all warm but i thought it was gonna be WAY darker

like i thought vecna was gonna totally take over hawkins like completely bring the upside down to the real world. and i think that will happen next season so ig im cool with slow impending doom

i am glad that all my favorite characters are still alive though. nancy robin steve ily❤️

anyways. what a fuckin four hour rollercoaster huh. im running on 3 hours of sleep so im slightly delirious but hopefully this makes sense lmao

and feel free to comment ur thoughts or whatever or leave them in my ask box or just don’t thats cool too

#stranger things spoilers #stranger things 4 spoilers #stranger things volume 2 spoilers #stranger things s4 vol2 spoilers #spoilers #okay i think that’s enough tags to get them all blacklisted lol

[bonetrousled]

mayhem undertale au opinion zone

anyway IGNORING all of the aus that are like. this is just sans under 5 layers of au and he’s god and thin and sexy and everyone loves him and his slender fragile frame . bc there’s no aus of those where it’s papyrus being cool and getting all of the attention (w/out either a. sans being present and being cooler and getting more fan attention than him or b. him just being turned into Longer Sans). NONE . anyway

when there’s an au that makes papyrus cool and scary and or powerful and people (the creator or the audience) woobifies him it makes me SO fucking angry. like horrortale 4 example VERY COOL. very frightening papyrus very threatening papyrus etc. guys in a very scary and stressful situation. if he recovers from it it will NOT be peaceful and quiet . YET all of the post ht designs i see for him give him like. frilly little sweaters and big glasses and braces and heslike ^-^ waheehee im gentle now LIKE.... u can have a character recover from trauma without turning him into a Softboy . idk if this is just my Came Out Of Trauma Angrier talking but it just . INFURIATES ME

AND ANOTHER THING. CLENCHING MY FISTS ok. does canon papyrus think everyone can be a good person? yes! however. hes not a dumbass and like. isnt gonna be like “ohhh well i forgive u teehee ^-^ bc you just aren’t a good person yet but we can get there!” papyrus can get ANGRY . like is that a thing ppl forgot abt? like yes hes very welcoming and wants to help others but like. he can still DO THAT while being pissed. i cant stand disbelief type aus where hes like “why..... would you do this to me... but i still have a shred of hope etc etc” HE WOULD KICK YOUR ASS. he would beat the FUCK out of you.

ESPECIALLY considering like. papyrus views himself as very very important to sans’s wellbeing. he doesnt think his brother is Pathetic by any means but he knows that he’s pretty much harmless. he doesn’t do anything to make anyone genuinely upset, everyone loves him, he gets his shit done (eventually) . and genuinely i think if u killed his brother he wouldn’t even have a cool speech or anything he would just start rending u to smithereens. bc harming someone who has ONE attack and ONE health w the INTENT to hurt is just so. UNFATHOMABLE

AND!!!! DEAR GOD AND. i already am not the biggest fan of classic underswap it makes me angry. but i cant STAND the fanbase sexyman “sans but conventionally attractive” swap papyrus i am SORRY. ok i cant stand him. and i am well aware i am throwing bricks through a glass house but like. when someone makes an au papyrus (or fuckin. anyone really) that’s so far removed from any semblance of vision to the original character. JUST MAKE YOUR OWN GUY!!! it’s ok to have a skeleton!!!! u don’t have to call him papyrus! bc i see all these animeheaded malnourished utau characters like “oh this is my sans” THATS NOT SANS. the man is 26 years old and smells like tomato paste thats NOT sans

this went on for a lot longer than i thought anyway. i need to revamp godpyrus bc i deserve to have an AU That’s Just Papyrus And He’s Cool and All Powerful bc everything is right when i do it god bless. if u read all of this i love you

#txt #LONG. long ass post i am so sorry #this doesn;t nmake any sense probably but i have so many feelings

[boldlyvoid]

Hi Em, i know it’s probably none of your business but i feel like i need to talk about it with someone and i honestly have nobody else to talk to :( i sent you an ask about thinking maybe im autistic like two years ago (late 2020 ish) and i cant find it again but basically ever since your answer i cant stop thinking about it and i honestly havent been to a psychologist bc im scared maybe she’s going to confirm it to me. I have been reading about symptoms and watching people talk about autism and i relate with so many things they say so idk, it gives me so much anxiety and im honestly so scared.

Also i hope this doesn’t trigger you but i talked to my mom about it and she was like ‘lol you’re definitely not autistic, you graduated from college and you’re clever and not incapable of doing things on your own’ and that made me really sad so now idk how to cope with it :( im so upset

the best advice I can give you is that you live in your brain 24/7 you know yourself well. you wouldn't look at your broken arm and think oh it doesn't look like most broken arms so it mustn't be broken. you'd feel the pain and experience it your own way and know that yes, this is broken. you know when something is up. you know when you have nerve pain or when your feelings are hurt. so if you look at yourself and you look at what it takes to be diagnosed with autism and you think, "hey that sounds like me" then that's totally you. you don't need a doctor's permission to say you have a broken arm, you fuckin know when the bone is popped out. so why can't you say you're autistic if you feel so as well?

as for your moms response that's very rooted in ableism but also autism is a hereditary thing, so your parents most likely have some kind of neuro-divergency that makes them see you as quote-unquote normal but that's only because it's their normal too. like my mom thinks its normal to get in her car and drive and not remember how she got to work because she was thinking about too much other stuff... as if that's not an adhd thing? it's totally normal to her... and my dad being able to hear every sound in the house and freak out over the smallest inconvenience is normal and "just man things" and not him becoming overstimulated from his autism....

your parents dont know you as well as you know yourself, if Autism feels like the right diagnosis for you and if you can ease your everyday life with accommodations specifically made to help neurodivergent people, then there's nothing wrong with that. live your life the way that will help you feel the best and fuck anyone who doesn't like it.

if i'm not following you and you want to message me privately, let me know and I'll do that, I'm always here to talk one on one if you need someone

#ask #autism anon #so you can find it easier next time

[ziracona]

(im going off your last ask about the horror fandoms) but yeah, Horror fans and YouTuber fans share the same kind of unhinged nature about them. I cant put my finger on it, but its just...there. i had someone ask to commission me for Outlast art. It's been awhile, so i go and see whats up w fandom and the game in general (the last one i played was Whistleblower? I think ) I go in, see a bunch of ppl hounding someone bc they dont like a very popular ship. I shit you not, someone got upset and said that 'They aren't happy enough. I combed thur their blog and most of it was negative' like ??? You don't hear yourself? That's fucking nuts. You can't decide if a person deserves death threats and name-calling bc they don't smile enough for you? The fuck? Needless to say, I did Not accept the commission request. I don't wanna be anywhere near that nosie

Yeah Jesus. At some point certain unhinged areas of fandom decided that consuming content in a visible way and enjoying content we’re both = uncritically liking every single character and aspect all the time, and it’s ridiculous. Like people can feel however they want, including negatively, and if you don’t want to see that you??? Block them?? Like a normal human? I love Days Gone—obsessed w it. Went into the tag and one person was there a lot live blogging a playthrough very negatively, and I disagreed with like everything they said, and it was slightly annoying, so I like a normal and rational human just dropped that block and kept scrolling, bc they have a right to consume content how they like whether or not I agree with their enjoyment or lack thereof, or opinions. It’s really not hard. But yeah, idk, a lot of current fandom has devolved into this utterly bland “love and stan every character and if you criticize or dislike anyone or anything you’re a hater and a Bad Person” where no opinions really mean anything because everyone just trying to be sanatized in the least original way so as to offend no one ever in their consumption, and be seen as an ally to every aspect of consuming. Drives me up the fuckin wall. I have so much more respect for someone who dislikes something openly for their own reasons whether I agree or not, than a bland Yes Man trying to kiss up to everyone who might exist as if like, horror media is a Dora the Explorer appreciation scrapbooking party. The amount of rage and hate directed towards anyone who dislikes anything is fucking wild.

#anonymous #ask #I’ve gottten hate for; disliking a horrible man. not standing serial killers. ‘canceling’ the fictional characters Dr Sam Loomis. talking #about wanting to Beat the shit out of the antagonist in the game I was playing. talking lovingly about a character I like instead of a #character a stranger desperately showed up to kee trying to get me to talk about instead. saying that torturing someone is doing torture #commenting on designs being racist. not liking several serial killers. mentioning that destroying an entire species is ahorrific thing to do #jokingly saying a character is boring. and there’s so much more! #*stanning #such as saying Hc a character as mentally ill especially a demonized illness in order to excuse them being a serial killer is fucked up & #hurts actual mentally ill people. mentioning that being female doesn’t actually make every bad thing you do somehow good #liking media. not liking media. liking characters. not liking charcaters. consuming content. not having consumed content. #and more and more

[wildernessuntothemselves]

i feel so BETRAYED obv you didnt promise me anything…

BUT CMON PREGNANCY??? YALL DIDNT SEE THAT GIRL ON TIK TOK WITH HER 200+ REASONS TO NOT BE PREGNANT. SERIOUSLY.

(/j) BUT IM STILL VERY MUCH ANTI PREGNANCY

i also forgot i was alive for a hot min but I’m back and have things to say🤌🏻

sooo everyone wished for soft non-con and i get your point but 👀 nobody know the chemistry rough non-con can have … not in a romantic way but in the we get to know how FAR a character will go and how fucked up they truly are to hurt their love

maybe im trippin 🤥 but i was team rough non-con for this ch. although if the others want soft i cannot blame them

ill freak out reading it either way 💅🏻 #choppingoffgyusdick

and lord soobin??? okayyyyyy

us dressing like a whore??? GIRL- FUCKIN -BOSSING

and everyone talking abt loser lover ending???

i read that fic a bit ago and it fucking BROKE me, i think i read the whole thing abt 3 times (not within a week or anything) i just came back to it and it broke me EVERY time

i was sobbing the first time and staring blankly at my wall the second time… tryna process everything. like the things they did to each other and especially that last ch. where reader fucks gyu and streams it literally killed me

i was so disappointed in their behavior and so emotionally invested srsly it broke my heart when you described beomgyu curling into himself… or the way he didnt want any of it but did it still for reader all the comments of the viewers… like it was written so well it truly hurt me😭🤌🏻 AND I READ IT AGAIN???? LIKE DO I HATE MYSELF WHY???

or the fact reader has to leave soobin, or the time soobin noticed reader being more invested in gyu than in him :(((( it made me want to give soobin ALL THE ATTENTION he deserved

or that one time where reader was like saying how gyu is only her toy and should act like it and instead of being a brat gyu just allowed it like he was actually broken and did everything for her to keep him… or the way she described him like a dog or her pet on stream

GOD THE EMOTIONS, I READ IT A WHILE AGO BUT ITS STILL AAAAA IT STILL KILLS ME TO THINK ABT IT

ill probably be just as sad abt yamqn but your writing is hella good and idk being invested in the story and feeling the characters feelings is kinda the goal isnt it

im excited where we are going to go with yamqn but im also a bit scared ill cry my eyes out again😭😭😭🤌🏻

- ❄️

listen i'm the biggest pregnancy anti out there and i live in an arab country where marrying and having a child is considered an absolute must in life but i've already managed to beat down my parents into giving up on me ever having a child so i get it lmao but again if the pregnancy is important to the plot of a story i'm writing then that's what i'm gonna do lmao

offf i keep going back and forth on the noncon thing even after most everyone said they want it soft because i feel like there is a lot of emotion involved in that scene and gyu is hella stressed and upset and he might not have the capacity to be soft in that instance but at the same time he doesn't want to hurt her and he is in a sick way happy to have her ahhh it's so complicated

the way you're describing lover loser makes ME wanna read it again lmao i'm just addicted to broken gyu

and the ending for this fic will probably be just as heartwrenching as the lover lover ending 😭 but we love pain here

#you always get me pumped with your messages #i love hearing from you❤️ #and ugh the lover loser bit really made me happy #thanks babe #mort talks #❄️ anon