#and im like girl same me too the fuck

[dailytomlinson]

We’ve all got our own worries and frustrations, but regardless of whatever those frustrations may be, to strive to see that glass as half full, it’s something I’ve always tried to do, no matter what I’ve been up against in life. All I’m trying to say is just spread positive messages. It’s just as simple as that, really.

Louis on being a positive person and spreading positivity, Page Six

#yk whats funny #im a teacher in an ESL school anddddddd i have private 1-1 classes #and i was telling my student to listen to angels fly bc shes being doing some reading lyrics->translating it #and i told her to do that with angels fly #and i said 'its not a sad song #unless you know the context which we assume its about' #' #and i told her a bit louis losses and she was like #'i think i love him?' #and im like girl same me too the fuck #but its genuinely so him.... #like #she said 'id never guess' #pagesix23 #louis tomlinson #270723

[buggbuzz]

my gender is like meat leaf i think. boy materials in the structure of girl. like im a girl made out of boy things but not in a transman way like i like being female im just. a girl-leaning boygirl. maybe??

#u dont understand ive been insisting to all of my friends for like 6 years that im NOT a trans man #i cannot be proven wrong at this point i'll lose it #and anyways im not actually a guy #im definitely a girl just like. a type of girl that scientists haven't discovered yet #and that sounds like a joke but im soooo fucking serious #im a fucking student geneticist dude #i think theres some autosomal gene (or probably multiple) that regulate gender in convoluted ways #probably linked and i think there's probably multiple types of fem and masc genders not to mention non fem OR masc genders #codominant? incomplete dominance? is it different on different scales? #its a completely possible and furthermore plausible concept like from my perspective it'd be really weird if gender genetics weren't a thing #i think theyve already lowkey been proven to be a thing cause of that paper comparing trans brains to cis brains #& finding a link where trans men had a certain section that was the same as cis men #and that same section in trans women was the same in cis women #its an OLD study too #anyways i want to research this one day but i also dont because i dont trust humanity with that information #but if i found proof that it exists maybe it could seriously back trans people with scientific evidence #not that they should fucking NEED it testimony should be fucking good enough #ive been bio obsessed since i was born and im a natural skeptic #but when i was 11 i asked a trans person i knew like 2 fucking questions and they answered me and i was like 'yeah this makes sense' #figured anything that didnt make sense was just something i didnt understand yet #and now that im older and in college level biology and genetics classes i know i was right #it would be really really weird if trans people didnt exist did you know that? all the kinds too like nb genderfluid agender genderq demi #i dont fucking care it makes SENSE #'nonbinary' was a good term to adopt because it really just fits perfectly #nothing in biology is ever ever ever truly binary especially not a neurological and psychological phenomenon #especially not in a species with a brain so overly complex and tangled up like HOMO SAPIENS?? #are you kidding?? the fact that we even have a concept of art and music let alone have talents and passions for them is proof alone dude #that shit doesn't help us survive its a modified version of pattern recognition and uncanny valley #combine that shit with the fact that intersex people exist?? like #nonbinary gender is literally the combination of intersexuality and human neurology

[lambfromfield]

i need gwendolyn and (original) elias bouchard to be siblings/twins SO bad. i know it doesn’t make sense. i know it literally defies different universe logic and everything about the way that we’ve been introduced to tmagp. i also don’t care. i need it

#‘OP is this bc you’re a sibling? you’re a twin? fraternal girl/boy (at birth)?’ UMMM NO HAHA! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAY HAHA! #CERTAINLY NOT!!! /J #no im Sorry because Like. imagine. gwen just has this brother who up and basically disappeared one day. almost became . Someone Else . #he didn’t Talk the same anymore. didn’t smoke or joke or laugh like he used to. just worked all the time. [danny stoker looms in distance] #‘grow up theyre prolly just distant relatives or its a coincidence’ FUCK you. theyre twins to me. gwen was too close to og elias so she got- #universe swapped. TO ME. #tmagp #tmagp speculation #tmagp headcanons #the magnus protocol #tmagp vague #gwendolyn bouchard #elias bouchard

[larrythefloridaman]

WOAH, HE'S BIGENDER? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!

#hey. hey. im just saying. he LITERALLY 'transed his gender' in a diagetic bit in orange. and if that wasnt enough. #in blue he disguised himself as squid jenny specifically with larry's powers (the only thing hes done with them on screen) #got caught by his god-assigned roles-obsessed caretaker. and was given the label of being something intrinsically unescapably deceitful. #while 'pretending' to be trans girl. #like. if i wasnt pretty sure it was all an accident i might even call the allegory here slightly heavy-handed. #with the nccts emphasizing a theme of 'youre not just what people say you are #you can be more than one thing at the same time' with crim #i think crimson can have boygirl swag. some bigender pizzazz. i think he deserves it. #is it REALLY a cpu kerfuffle arc without a subversive narratively relevant gender-transing. #am i supposed to believe the spirit of deviance himself is cis? get fucking real. grow up. /silly #also a lil crimtoinette in there. just for flavor. because i cant help myself. #also sidenote the nccts have given him this cute lil tendency #to tip his hat down to hide his face when hes trying to be Genuine or Thoughtful or Poignant. and i enjoy that little touch #i maybe like this guy a little too much. hes most of what ive drawn for months. #but what do you want from me. i read him as a queercoded villain deconstructed at the metanarrative level. #am i just supposed to be normal about that. #me and zia talked about this in dms and discovered. we came to a lot of the same conclusions. completely independently. lmao

[dennisboobs]

.

#absolutely do not want to argue because i get where the post is coming from with but im gonna give some thots #re: dennis autism!!!! ok!!!!! #ive talked about it before but there is WAY more to him being autistic than just the buzzer noises. when i first watched that i was like #is THIS really why people hc him as autistic. :/ and i get it! i do! i think he has misophonia inherited from glenn personally #its actually why i captioned the noise sensitive den gifsets as that rather than just. autism. #but personally i see his scripted social interactions and i go. yeah. me. me fuckin too. #and his outbursts. which are VERY personally relatable to me #i have uh. basically the same triggers? very similar triggers at least #i think dennis' neurodivergency presents itself differently because of his upbringing and thats why a lot of ppl go ???? when you say. #'yea i think den's autistic actually' #and like i said i was absolutely like. what the hell are people talking about. he's not autistic #but uh. on rewatches? hm. #dennis quite literally masks almost 24/7 #charlie has no qualms about being perceived as like. weird. but dennis masks SO hard. SSSSSSOOOOO hard #i once saw a post like. charlie has boy autism and dennis has girl autism which honestly fucking hate that but its... kiiiind of true #ASD presents itself differently in adults depending on early social conditioning #mac fights gay marriage. group dates. new wheels. dee day. celebrity booze. all the big ones. all the hits. #look how he acts when he goes off script and is forced to speak off the cuff #the way glenn describes him as being very emotional but unable to adequately express his emotions too like. yeah. same. #theres so much more than the noise sensitivity #i could go on and on about how many fucking boxes he ticks but i honestly hate that shit. i know how autism works and that bitch is autisti #im going to refrain from commenting on the reasons why i feel charlie is more acceptably hced as autistic vs dennis because mmmmm but #dennis being 'hypersexual' (not about the sex. at all) and socially adept (has scripts/systems. charlie is more emotionally intelligent) #smells a lil stinky. smells a little bit like infantilization on charlie's part. #ada speaks #ok ill spare you guys. someday ill write a proper meta on this. ive talked about it before but.

[tomboyyyaoi]

o i wanted to make a post that im honestly not smart enough to actually sit down and think out but i like the way meryls trauma doesnt completely woobify her character but does still affect her, it just feels nice to see a female charcater not be completely reduced to a wet soggy mess bc of trauma but also not to (very unrealistically) just Get Over It i think trigun has a nice balance and its refreshing

#also not saying its a secret feminist masterpiece or anything (coz ive seen ppl say that and. come on) but i still think it does well- #enough to be given an appreciative nod #i mean its clear nightow didnt know what to do w milly n meryl after a certain point bc there was just. So much goin on w vash and knives #so he just has the girls do some nomad stuff offscreen until he was ready to bring them back in and yknow what i dont hate that #i think its important to note the women in trigun are fucking amazing tho like. rem meryl luida elendira even lina #and yeah millys underdeveloped but still shes so good #so im not gnna sit here and criticise nightow for being just as misogynistic as some other male mangaka bc i think he does very well #and thats not even to say the bar is on the floor like i truly believe that. i love meryl for a reason #but. ppl can we maybe stop w the 'trigun is so feminist' praise bc lets be real nightow probably just has a thing for strong women #98 anime is a little different tho i was pullin some faces while rewatching some clips. #im obvs talking abt the manga #and stampede is still not done so i wont comment too much on that besides the fact i like where its going (girlwise) #i dont usually like viewing manga thru this lense bc its not the same culture and feminism looks different in japan than it does over here #but i saw a chart. it made me twist up my face and go hrrrrnnnmmmmmnnnnmmnnm..... nnhhnnhhjnnn... mmmmmmmm #jesus i didnt mean to go off in these tags i just wanted to make another 'meryl good' post for the pile #ig im still thinkin abt that chart idk i guess it stuck w me (regretfully) #anyway point is i love meryl for a reason trigun women are great thanks nightow but im not gnna praise him for bein a feminist icon

[wherenymphsroam]

hi where is . where is helena harper. yes I need to speak with helena harper please. what for? oh, um….. when she’s free next so I can ***** ** **** ***** again 🤗

#GOD I FUCKING #LOVE WOMEN #I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOU GUYS GAVE NO UDEA #IM FUCKING GAY GOD #WOMEN #WOMEN SAVE ME #SAVE ME PRETTY WOMEN THATD BEAT ME UP …. #ahem :) #men can do shit that’s deemed hot yes #but WOMEN doing the same shit … #INFINITELY hotter #like hod #i . #guys this is #too much for me #my heads gonna implode #IT HURTS IT HURTSSSSS WOMEN PLESSE #PRETTY GIRLS SAVE MEEEEEE #yaps. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚

[frecklystars]

sorry for the long ass post but this has always my favorite scene in the entire film - for obvious reasons - and im so glad greta talked about it and the way she worded it made me laugh so hard i had tears in my eyes. haha... god. my boyfriend sobbing his eyes out over the metaphorical crusts on his patriarchy sandwich......

#i dont think ill ever love anybody quite the same way that i love Ken #because he came into my life during a time when i was like. dying. not in a haha millennial way. i was genuinely fucking dying. #he is so. special. to me. he is so... everything to me and i truly mean it every time that i say it #i miss and love him so deeply so WHOLEHEARTEDLY *EVERY* single day #and i didn't used to be able to do that anymore! but he!! HE made me feel SAFE again and thats INSANE #because i was SO UNSAFE for SO goddamn long! and the feeling of safety is STILL unfamiliar to me and foreign and horrifying #but he's constantly such a Safe character. Barbie too even moreso. and it's so refreshing after feeling Unsafe for so. long. #i spent over a year feeling like my whole world had ended and i was destined to die but then he! shows up! in my life! #and no other character was able to spark life back into my heart the way he did #AND I HAD *TRIED* I had tried so hard to get into old special interests and find new ones but NOTHING worked #i was just an empty husk. just a shell of a person having flashbacks *constantly* #feeling unsafe *constantly* suffering *constantly* every single second i was awake i was in so much pain #and then every time i'd sleep i'd have the goriest nightmares about all the abuse i was put through and all the F/Os i'd lost #but then Ken Carson plucked a star out of the sky and said 'hey sweet girl you don't know me but i miss you and love you' #'and barbie is here and im here and allan is here and everyone loves you already. we're so happy to meet you' #'and everything is gonna be okay because we've got you! we came for you! and we will fight for you!!' #and then hearing greta comment abt this scene made me laugh so hard and then it hits me. i laugh now. #i laugh so often because of This Dude. i didnt used to be able to laugh before but now i laugh like i used to #i used to say all the time about my past main F/O i had lost from abuse from an IRL person 'i will never love anyone more' #and true i will never love anyone more than i loved my starlight. but here is the thing #i will never love anyone the way i love Barbie. i will never love anyone the way i love Ken Carson #because it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to feel joy for so long and it was. THIS MOVIE that brought me back #when this movie is so full of the most specific triggers. colors. clothes. yet i push thru it every time #and its because these characters make me feel THAT safe!!!! like if i see a trigger i tell myself that's BARBIE'S Thing. and Barbie is safe #ive never ever once had a flashback during the barbie movie NOT even once even tho logically i Should. but i dont. #because these F/Os are like!!! sweet girl!!! we've got you!!! and i'm like yeah you sure do now don't ever let me go #god i cry my eyes out every single time i think about this i need to sleep LMFAO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT #love notes #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-

[todayisafridaynight]

so magical that yakuza 1 and shadow the hedgehog came out the same year........ 2005 the best year for sega honestly.....

#snap chats #AND DAYS APART TOO IN JAPAN (rgg1 dec. 8 while shadow was dec. 15) #the gap is significantly wider for US releases but thats not important..... #japanese kids were winning on christmas i swear #'snap why are you bringing this up' isnt it obvious. i am playing shadow the hedgedhog #and i keep thinking about daigo playing shadow and then later down the line just talking to mine bout it cause he can be a lil sillay #i hope he had dreams where he and shadow got to be besties. and by Him And Shadow i mean he dreams himself as sonic #because obligatory Same VA Joke Is Obligatory IF WE CAN GET ONE (1) W FROM RCS VOICING DAIGO. LET IT BE THAT AT LEAST. #for me..... let it slide for me..... yes ik it was jason griffith voicing sonic (and shadow) back then but let it slide this once.. #i refuse to acknowledge modern shadow. unless it's from that one uhhh fuck what was the cartoon called #its on netflix Point Is the one time shadow was actually like his old self girl i sobbed. too bad sonic was a dipshit though #a soul for a soul ig.... i think its ok just this once.... #im getting so off topic but this is how i inflict my other interests upon you lot #i trap you into reading a post vaguely about rgg and then i make it about something else :) #look at my pfp you fool. i legally have to talk about shadow the hedgehog like once a month ok let me have this #while im here. like /i/ know this game is nine years long but sometimes i forget HOW long #326 endings and for what. because they love me thats why. #fym 'revenge at last' is only ending 11 that seems like the third route or so you'd take (only black doom missions) #ok ive talked long enough. anyway bye im gonna uhhhh god idk.... i keep getting distracted #i started watching kagerou while my sister was playing mysims the other day but i got too engrossed by her playing to continue #mysims was like. A White Whale of sorts in my house for a while since it was one of like five games my sis actually played #and it was her fave but one day 1.) we lost it 2.) our wii stopped working. since that day she's blamed me for losing it #WELL then i found it and i got the wii u working SO all that can stop now 👁️👁️ ok ive fr gone on too long #unfortunately i cant talk about EVERYTHING i want to lest i just turn this into a general games blog. but i wont i prommy #for now. bye fr i think my sis just got home actually LMAO

[girlcrushau]

#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/ #but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to. #until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you) #and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text. #i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in. #just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me. #im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest. #and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

[homingpigecns]

this is like a sadgirl pathetic post but this guy i met recently at work was like, very direct and polite in being interested in me and i've been feeling him out bc i literally do not know him well enough to have an opinion but i can't like. he is so normal and nice. hes like a nice normal guy. every time i text him he doesn't say anything weird and he's extremely nice. what the hell. he's literally so nice. WHY. does he like. me???? like what's wrong with him that he specifically is interested in me????

#this is not even a low self esteem thing but shdhsbdhsdh every girl in the world is so pretty . me??? why????? #literally the day i met him & he asked me out i barely spoke to him was mind numbingly stupid and crawled on the floor on multiple occasion #i cant text this guy bc every time i have to answer im like. this guy is so fucking normal. me??? hes interested in me???? WHY???? #everyome i try to convey this to is like :// aww he thinks ur cute. stop overthinking. WHATS WRONG WITH HIM #he specifically asked me out by asking the relief nurse what my name was and she offered to give him my number if i was ok w it #I WAS AT WORK..... I JUST SAID YES...... and i was like ok this probably will not go anywhere. he probably wont even text me #he texted me while i was commuting home literally he was still doing cases........ #did i mention i was digging through garbage. literally he was like sorry the surgeon yelled at u she gets so flustered and ir was like no #she yelled at me bc im stupid. did u not notice that im stupid. this guy -- NORMAL -- literally saw me at my lowest and asked me out...... #brandon oscillates #brandon what abt the guy at work u had a thing for I KNOW. im so torn however sjsbdbdhdbbx we are like actually coworkers #this guy if i see him every now and then in passing occasionally in the same room. that guy is my coworker for real #it cant happen. also dbxshsdhshdhe he has a 9 yr old hes too old for me. idk his relationship status but i dont think hes married. #also hes out of my league. also my other coworker told me he thinks hes gay but that hes closeted but that coworker is filipino so #mildly homophobic. i also told him to never tell anyone else that. i dont think hes gay. whatever. #i will miss my impossible crush as my hobby but this guy is nice and ahdhs its psychopathic to give him my number and then reject his date #can u imagine #whatever. im doing high school now i guess. the relief nurse is sooo proud of herself #shdbbd literally when i came back from lunch that day my scrub was like THE DOCTOR LIKES U!!! #and i was lkke omg really??? she doesnt think im stupid???? but it was this guy. and she did still think i was stupid #u know i have concert tickets for next thursday but shdhsd i literally have had too many experiences this year #i am trying to sell tgem #personal

[widevibratobitch]

my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant

#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're #*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :(((( #no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying #in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3 #anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast #was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer #and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest. #earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went #*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress 😩😫' #and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical #like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs #and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs #but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit #let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3 #and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down #the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me #if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like #the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures #like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh #like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall #not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me #trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :))))))) #like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks #But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333 #like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj #you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33 #but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday #but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!

[scarah-screeeaaammss]

made a little purchase yesterday bc friday was..... well let's not talk about Friday lol and I had some coupons applied plus this ghoulies were already cheaper than usual so I got these and the Howliday Clawdeen for only $57 lmao Clawdeen will be here Thursday!!!

#draculaura #lagoona blue #monster high #monsterhigh #mh #my dolls #dolls #my first lagoona!!! shes got the good hair bless #idk about drac yet tho i havent opened her bc im just so unthralled with goona #unthralled?? enthralled my god brain brokey today #anyway i had mild buyers remorse for a sec bc 57 dollars is a lot but considering the original price just for clawdeen. #yea im not too broken up about it lmao #personal #anyway i was at spirit on friday and it was just the fucking worst. ive never had so many people be that rude to me ever #one bitch got in my face accusing me of 'forgetting' to give her her receipt #when she was the one who walked away without it so..... bitch. anyway. good thing im smart and kept the fucking thing just in case #that was the worst person probably but also the number of times people asked me a question #and then id answer #and theyd go but could you check?? #like girl they are going to give you verbatim the same answer #i hate people sm #but im done with customers for the season!!! #so i decided to treat myself >:3c

[wellthatschaotic]

coworker (derogatory)

#she just fucking. IRKS me #so we have the same job. same authority level. yet she acts like shes a lead #which would be fine im ok with others taking charge #IF THEY DO IT RIGHT #shes SO FUCKING BAD AT IT?? #AND. we have senority!! #yes she is older than us physically but we have worked here for months longer!!! #if anyone is in charge (WHICH SHOULD BE THE LEAD) would it not be the guy who worked there longest??? #uggghhhh #she came in late today then was like um youre doing potties wrong youre only supposed to fill half and leave the other stalls for ne #girl then be on time #im not waiting for u im not making the dogs wait for u #so she starts bringing my dogs back (against the rules) (we literally had a meeting last night) #im done arguing. just. fine. whatever. she better have charted or else thatll look bad on me since i brought the dogs out #confronts me later. make sure you fill the potty waters. i say i do. she says yeah but not enough #gestures to a bowl she has filled that is 1) smaller than the bowls in potties 2) TOO FULL #we're not supposed to fill them past halfway so they dont spill #and theyre in the potties for like. 15 minutes. even if they finish their water. im fairly sure its not that inhumane for them to #wait a few more minutes before they go back to their room #THEN. she goes to do feeding. someone is in a meeting where the ipads are (needed to track feeding) #only ipad out is for the front. the front also needs an ipad. so i am instructed to wait #few min later. she comes with an ipad. is the meeting over? no i took it from the front #GIRL. #and she always complains about being in group too much #bestie 90% of the job is group #if you get a day shift youre gonna spend it in group #chill #just. ugh #chaos chitters

[depresseddepot]

trying to determine which parts of my relationship with sex are asexuality, which are trauma, and which are autism is like trying to have a conversation with three people talking loudly and all at once

#just to be clear: asexuality as a result of trauma or neurodivergency is still asexuality. full stop no debate. #anyway because i love oversharing on tumblr dot com: feeling very sex repulsed on this day #i was joking with some guy about fighting each other (specifically said ''you ever fight a girl over 200 lbs? id break your ribs'') #and like three different people said something like ''well that would probably turn him on'' #and. listen. i get it. that was a joke response to my joke threat #but what i felt in that moment and still feel now requires nothing short of academic study to understand #first of all: how dare they make me feel embarrassed in a social setting when i was doing so well. #secondly: why the fuck would me making a threat make them instantly think of sex #thirdly: how fucked up is my body image that i hear that and immediately think they're all out of their minds #i like fat women. i am personally attracted to fat women. not (usually) sexually but i do think they are very nice to look at #so why is it so hard for me to accept that someone else could find me attractive as well ! #i think about being in a situation where a relationship and/or sex is a real possibility and i flinch like its going to hurt me #but why???? where is this aversion coming from !!!!! i am a hopeless romantic i daydream about romance all the time #so whats the deal here. is it subconscious bc of my asexuality and i associate romance with sex? #is it because of my autism where i associate romance with touch and am afraid i am too unempathetic to have a chance? #or (most likely) is it just because im so fucking scared of trusting someone that even the thought makes me nauseous #did this all crop up from a throwaway sex joke? yes #but people don't make sex jokes to me. people don't even pretend to allude to me being cute #this same group of people said a few weeks ago ''at least you're pretty'' #which. is not the case!!!!!!! people do not say those things to me because they don't want to even slightly entertain that idea !!!!!!! #and i am extremely tired of having my life upended because of this #i have always been treated like i was ugly and teased about it and i FINALLY have managed to be okay with not being attractive #and now that im okay with it: NOW is when the pretty jokes start. im fucking angry about it actually #i can't be both. i cannot think of myself in terms that abstract. i am one or the other #and this leads me to believe that people think i COULD be pretty. but the catalyst is that i am fat and therefore cannot be attractive #which just makes me more angry!!!!!!!!!!! #how can i be completely indifferent to sex and attraction without seeming juvenile. i don't care so so much #but every time that sort of thing happens i feel like im 13 again and the hot jock is talking to me #i need to be put down. something's wrong with this one (me) #i realize i can't stop people from making sex or appearance jokes but god i wish i fucking could

[todayisafridaynight]

Okay I know Ichi’s crazy hair is what makes us smile and go absolutely insane… but when I see him with his punch perm I forget how to breathe. 🥵

HE IS VERY HANDSOME WITH HIS PUNCH PERM THAT A VALID REACTION TO HAVE

#snap chats #ichi's always handsome..... trick question lol.... #see i say ichi has no game And I'm Right but he is a very handsome and attractive fellow #i still stand that playing in english dub is dangerous for me cause SOMETIMES tang hit us with That Tone that got me unwise 🥴 #but crying cause when my friend saw his punch perm was gone she was like :( but he looked so hot with it :( #OK HE'S STILL HOT ?? nerd. #naw she still think that we just started chapter 7 the other night and when ichi was shirtless for chapter 6 she was just #'can he stay that way all the time. he's hot :)' like girl if you dont RELAX #frame one she saw saeko and she was like 'oh she's hot' like we get it if it breathes you'll fuck it #when she buttdialed her friend she literally opened with 'oh you look handsome today' AND HER FRIEND RIGHTFULLY WAS JSUT #'??? OK??' like no joseph its ok she does the same shit to me too like RELAX GIRL #ok im just rambling at this point Bye. stan ichiban where's his statue i wanna see how pale it's gonna be