#and it's not nice being around someone like that ALL THE TIME. and i dont mind it when im at uni bc im at my own house in my own life

[avalikesf19]

A Day at quadrant: LN4 (Part 2)

Author note: I don’t even know how to post anything on this and never wrote a fic but I hope this is good but I think it’s pretty shit and I haven’t finished it yet and if any writers want to use this idea you can for sure just @ me please oh and if you have feedback please let me know thanks xx

Also i tried to change my like writing style thing cause i feel like it was shit last time but yeah idk

Lando x quadrant fem reader

Blurb: reader is a member of quadrant, she games most of the time but also likes f1 along with her best friend Ria bish. She is friends with all members at quadrant and finds it a good laugh with all her mates, but maybe her view of someone in particular is more than a mate..

Warnings: sexualising, swearing, mention of a gun, leaked tape, sad distraught reader, friends to maybe lovers if I make it a series? Smut-ish? If I missed any let me know (I don’t know how to do warnings sorry x)

Well wasn't last week a fucking eventful week. You still cant stop thinking about Lando right next to you comforting you about what happened. You're starting to feel better about the whole issue and get some support from people online and all the other members of quadrant, but fuck that was just shit. You haven't been in any quadrant videos since, but you're in a better place now and probably need to start participating in them more.

Lando and ethan make the idea of quadrant meeting up at landos apartment and trying to train like him for a day. You aren't exactly looking foward to it but oh well, at least Ria is going. You text your gc back and tell them that you will do it too. Then, you get a message.

Lando: are you 100% sure ur okay to come back and film already? you dont have to if you dont want to.

Y/n: yep. I need to get in more videos and im feeling better anyways, thanks for asking.

Lando: all good

Well that was polite and unexpected of Lando to reach out, but whats more unexpected is for your panties to be soaked right now over 2 text messages. well fuck, oopsies.

That night all you can think of is Lando, it's a bit embarrassing to admit, but he was circling around your head like it was an f1 race. You decide to get your head out of it and call Ria to come over and have a chat, since she is your best friend after all. Shortly she pulls up to your apartment in Monaco, funning in bursting of excitement to see you.

"RIAAAAAAA!" you shout when you open the door for her. "Y/NNNN" she replied back. You give her a hug and make her a cup of coffee just how she likes it. You guys sit and chat about the f1 grand prix in Bahrain coming up, and how you hope Lando continues to have a good season with Oscar this year. "Did you see the chat about the new yt vid we doing" You ask Ria. "omg yes and they are bringing angry ginge in I heard" Ria replies back.

"STOP IT" you yell back laughing. You love ginge and his videos, who wouldn't? he's a very very funny bloke. "OMG i''m definitely coming tomorrow then to the recording are you kidding?".

Unfortunately time goes by when you're having fun, and Ria was the most fun, so she had to go a few hours later which felt like minutes. Besides you both need sleep for the youtube vid you're filming tmr at Lando's. You go to bed and try to sleep as much as you can, which didnt happen lol.

rise and shine love. It's already 6am and time to go to Lando's place to film. Normally you don't have to wakeup early as fuck but for the purpose of the video and "being Lando Norris" you had no choice. You get to his apartment after parking at the front and knock on the door, to which he opens. "hi y/n" he says nicely and gives you a hug. "So good to see you Lando, where is everyone?".

"first here mate" he says almost excitedly. "so what are we actually doing today like playing video games or some shit" you say. "haha your funny mate, we are lifting weights, eating what i eat, using the sim, and neck strengthening" he says laughing at you. "fuck r u taking the piss" you say laughing. "oh my days Landoooo do I look like an f1 driver" you also reply with. "well yeah thats the whole point of the video ya dumb fuck" he replied jokingly.

"hahaha get fucked lando nowins" you snap back. he laughs as you proceed to miss the chair you went to lean on making you flinch and stumble looking like an idiot. he is still laughing which makes you laugh too. "Lando norizz" u reply. "haha you think I have no rizz, funny" he replies egotistically. "yeah i do actually" you don't at all, in fact he hasn't even tried yet he has rizzed you up. "wanna bet?" he snaps out.

you don't have time to think before he pins you against the wall and just looks at you with those hot eyes of his. you can already feel your cheeks burning and your thong getting wet. "you say I have no rizz yet your cheeks are burning, and I bet those panties are more soaked than that porridge you tipped over the counter when you stumbled at my gaze, huh?" he grunts out.

what the fuck just happened, first how did he know and secondly did he just pin you against the wall. not the first time you want that to happen. you know what fuck it if we wants to be like that then he may as well be uncomfortable the whole video.

"how did you know about my tight, black lacy thong i'm wearing over my tight pussy hey? not your first time thinking about it aye?" you tease him, but whole walking over to him you see him looking uneasy.

why? because ginge was at the fucking door and heard that, and can see Lando's boner from a mile away. "well bonjour" ginge says laughing. "bonjour mate" lando says as he daps up ginge covering his boner and trying to ignore what just happened.

You already know this video is gonna be the longest set of your life..

sorry its a short one x

#lando norris #formula 1 #quadrant #ln4 #f1 fanfic #ln4 x reader #lando fic

[vaguesxrrow]

charles rowland relationship hcs

a/n: i dont know if ghosts can change their outfits but i choose to believe so bc wouldnt we all like to see him dressed up ? also i wrote this so quickly, the dbd brainrot is REAL

tags: gender neutral reader

what being in a relationship with charles rowland would be like...

- charles will greet you with a bouquet of your favourite flowers plus some other species with specific meanings (he consulted niko on that!) on a first date

- if he plucked them from someone's garden or 'borrowed' them from a flower shop thennn it's for a good cause so...

- on a second or third or more, he'll show up with a mixtape he made for you - it definitely worked on girls back in the 80s AND present day

- he always has amazing style but you bet he made an extra extra effort to look nice for you !

- if you're arranging future dates he'll secretly want to coordinate outfits bc he thinks it's super cute

- when suggesting it he'll be kind of shy

- "y'know, it'd be brill if we tried to, like, wear similar things to match..."

- will kiss you when you agree

- if you wear jewelry he'll get you lots

- oh and matching jewelry for the two of you ofc

- him grabbing your hand and spinning you into a kiss

- charles is a nickname kinda guyy .. probably not 'baby' or anything but something original he came up with himself (bc he's so proud of the dead boy detectives name)

- likes it when you call him handsome or pretty boy

- when you kiss he'll hold your face gently

- likes when you pull him in by his clothes

- heat of the moment kisses give him the most thrill, like after an investigation nearly gone wrong

- when you're walking together he'll have an arm over your shoulder or around your waist

- when cuddling: prefers being the big spoon but if you wanna kind of just sprawl over each other he doesnt mind that either

- he'll scratch your scalp or massage you or something to help you fall asleep

- he himself doesnt need sleep but he'll lay down next to you and close his eyes so it isnt weird that you have someone staring at you while you try to fall asleep

- but once you're asleep he's obviously gonna admire you because this boy thinks you're drop dead gorgeous (no pun intended)

- top love language is quality time but obviously he's gonna be expressing his love for you in any way he can

- on special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries he'll make a heartfelt speech and give you a thoughtful gift

- you're guaranteed to like any and all gifts he gives you

- charles frequently consults the others on if they think you'll like something

- edwin: YES charles, for the millionth time i am SURE they will appreciate the gift

- charles: yeah, BUT do you think this will be better-

- when gift-obtaining, he does it on impulse and THEN goes to ask the rest of the crew but he knows you very well so obviously everyone knows you'll like it

- anything you give him he will treasure forever and keep in a box

#charles rowland #dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives fic #charles rowland x reader #charles rowland/reader #charles rowland x you #charles rowland/you #dead boy detectives headcanons #dead boy detectives netflix

[howlonomy]

in all the 'trauma siblings' stuff with Clover & Kanako, I keep coming back to thinking about how Flowey engages with this

Like, here's someone who went through an at least similar ordeal of getting a human soul mixed into a monster body, leading to a lethal, traumatic injury, into a rebirth into a new body whose physical and emotional state are all way the fuck out of wack

Except Flowey was shaped a lot by having to go through the traumatic aftermath alone, and lives in the weird space of having experienced unknown years of resets but also is still mentally kind of a child

So I have to think that Flowey sees these kids and that little Asriel part of him is screaming "don't let them wind up like us", but being Flowey he also has no idea how to really comfort anyone.

Leading to sweet moments like Clover collapsing somewhere and before anyone else in their family can even pick up on something being wrong, there's already vines springing up to catch them, because of course Flower would know how to spot weakness in people after years of doing that, but now there's a productive positive use for that instinct and it's nice

But also moments like "Gee how do I cheer up Kanako about that appointment with Alphys... I know! We'll torment her! What a wonderful idea!" Because hey, a little bit of sadism always cheered him up when he was suffering

And he'd probably settle toward a crass & hyperbolic style of comforting people with hit-or-miss moments, like a sort of "Wow clover you ate SHIT just now", trying to get them laughing at the misfortune instead of crying, but obviously sometimes It's Not The Time For That or he reverts a bit back to thinking something really fucked up like "Man, that person was really rude just now, we should kill them and everyone they love" and the kids look back at Flowey like "dude what the fuck"

And everybody's different ways of processing trauma are constantly both helping and clashing with each other as these kids help each other figure this shit out because as much as the adults want to help nobody but these 3 can really come close to understanding how it feels

this has been a big ramble for an ask and not really an ask but I wanted you to have this

THIS IS SOOOO GOOD BECAUSE YOURE 100% RIGHT

flowey struggles with knowing the concept of empathy and compassion but not really. KNOWING it. i imagine he can at least remember how it feels being asriel and during the final boss but. its easy to know what it is and harder to put it into practice when you dont actually feel it

i think youre right in that he would try his best to help but not really know HOW. like it takes him a bit to realize that oh, i can see the weaknesses in people, whatdo i do with this information now that i cant use it to exploit them? what can i do to help instead of harm? what is objectively the GOOD thing to do with this information?

hes still an asshole and a bitch but he cares. hes learning to anyways. even if he missteps a lot the people around him are forgiving and willing to help him on the right path and correct him. i love…. flowey :[

#asked and answered #monster clover au #mcau lore #i love character studies and analysis. i love them so much #im not very good at writing them but read this was absolutely a joy #ohhgghh flowey kanako clover frisk friendship is literally everything to me #flowey kanako and clover support circle where they talk about trauma #flowey and kanako talking about isolation and the lab #AUAUGHUHH

[shibuiking]

#thank uuuuu for the nice comments/tags on my last post with mu-15 T_T #adeptus mechanicus #skitarii #it uses taunts not specifically to be a dick but more for its benefit in how an angry opponent is easier to fight and predict #and partially to be a dick. how it copes w being so angry all the time. pissing someone bigger off and getting into fights #ive been thinking abt it a lot lately and have a lot of ideas And its not annoying to draw so ig i will make a tag for it #oc: mu-15 #also its laugh sounds like the ultrakill death laugh #alsooooo i kinda wanted to make tht marine a full char too coz hes been rattling around my head but urghhh having to decide what chapter... #dont even like marines.... help #oc #40k #oc: pallarex

[socksandbuttons]

In the "a day in the life of eclipse" it wasn't the first time Solar's Moon treated him badly. Remember when Lunar first showed up in Solar's dimension, Solar told Moon that there's a dimensional traveler and he'll deal with it. And his Moon responded with "good because I don't care!" it looks like his Moon has been aggressive/treated him badly to him from the start. Sorry, I just didn't understand what you meant by you ignoring the lore from a day in the life of eclipse because it is part of the lore now

You're new on my blog which i frequently ignore things in my headcanons from time to time. And that canon changes from how its interpreted. Anyway, stems from Solar's explaining his moons situation. The lore SLIGHTLY changed. In terms of Moon, being slightly Glitched due to killcodes removal/memory loss. He never mentioned Moon being mean before that (at least not on the terms before he left his dimension). Not unlike things to be slightly aggressive from Moon tho, just it wasnt PERCIEVED moon was a jerk to Solar UNTIL Solar reveals this later on (after Lunars death). They didn't really develop his story until later a little more. So I'm sticking to my previous headcanon of Moon having a glitch, which is canon to s degree? SOLAR himself has mentioned he wanted to fix his MOON AND SUN. Which was forgotten/changed and turned into just sun then into Solar leaving forever.

#like when i say they changed things they turned solars moon into the worst jerk instead of someone needing some help #due to in part of getting Solar in the channel more without running into other montys or moons or worrying about sun. plus a nice eclipse #im sure it wasnt that deep before and suppose to be vague but theyve developed it more #to which is more like a closure to solars tragedy of leaving all that #vs the tragedy of having KNOWN both of them before. and seeing them shells of their former selves #and u technically have both in the former since hes obviously still handling all that #HOWEVER. as much as i like solar being around. #theyve left things in the story that they never really go back on thats normal #so i take what i want really #CANON DIVERGENT WAS THE TERM I WAS LOOKING FOR VFDJKS #sometimes the canon.... i dont want it #i wont put this in the tags #also 'it wasnt the first he treated him badly' that. actually #isnt something u can consder 'treating solar badly' either #considering later u find out moon spent most his time trying to fix sun #anyway im rambling in tags once again

[presiding]

just saw that there's a monster in the hull update and realized i'd missed three of those........this + the audio are such treats giggling and kicking my feet about it fr. going to leave a comment on the fic itself but in the meantime needed to drop a letter on here to say i love the way you write billie--her loneliness, her thoughtfulness, distrust of yet attraction to emily and everything she represents........not to mention the way she's haunted by daud, the longing for a life she can't fathom and will never have !!! society if everyone gave billie the complexity she deserves. and your banter and prose are stunning as always lord everything abt this fic is so good. bringing wine to you on the deck to drink together about it in spirit and yes pun intended

🙏😭 thank you so so much I don't know what to say! that's amazingly kind of you ♥ its a genuine pleasure to like. double down on themes and nuance and less popular characters and just like. idk. trustfall into the fandom that there's people with taste like you, and you can invite them onto your metaphorical deck for wine and meaningful looks 🍷♥♥♥

re: billie - no one else in the dh universe comes close to whatever she has going on

hiding my thoughts about writing dh2 billie >

there's so much material to her!

i thought i'd never write for dishonored 2 (not derogatory - its my favourite game). its undoubtedly linear & doesn't have the mystery or grit of dh1 IMO.

but i saw lapin post that billie & emily comic, and i saw a few other people i respect mention billie/emily and it had me rotating them until the abjection/emily-monster thing clicked and then it was downhill from there

but there's more to think about - what billie has been doing with herself, how she feels about daud & the whalers at this point in her life, her relationship with sokolov (god.a separate rant), her history in karnaca & dunwall, emily's place in the empire and how that fits into billie's story, her lifelong revenge arc, and comparisons between jessamine & deirdre.

like. when you consider billie's perspective you realise how fucking badass she is for going back to dunwall. she not only did it scared she did it scared for her life. suicidal level flimsy disguise trapped in a tin can with your enemy. etc

PLEASE tell me if you ever decide to post that daud & billie fic you mentioned a while back :O

#asks #corpseprince my beloved <333 #thinkin bout your one-day fic. daud and billie are SO difficult to write #not simply father daughter but like. the suicide pact vibes they have and the all consuming nature of dauds bonds #and there's a strong running tension between them #not to mention neither being the type for feelings #the more 'dishonored fandom friendly' fics im working on i've deprioritised recently #yuri on the way <3 there was a deficit anyway! #mostly excited for brigmore smut #if i may bitch on your lovely post (sorry). if you cbf with that stop reading here #idk. it keeps happening #so i post a chapter. maybe get 2 kudos that week #which is nice and i smile every time im stoked to see readers around #but then one or two days later some unpleasant fucko on tumblr has taken one of the ideas i put in the new chapter of my fic #and turned that into a low quality textpost like it was their idea. it gets a heap of notes #and its always a *highly specific* idea after i posted it. and i know what the fandom is talking about broadly so it sticks out #i dont mind at all when its like mutuals or people who have commented or talked to me then its more like 🤝 #like. someone who doesnt appear to have ever interacted with me or the fic #im not trying to flatter myself by saying theres no chance its a coincidence. but its offputting as hell #backhanded signal of success? bestie thats my meta post but you made it worse <3 #so my focus rn is niche-r stuff for smart cool people with taste #THE RAMBLING. *tops up your wineglass if you made it this far*

[devotedlystrangewizard]

totk really is one of those games that make me go "ok thanks for the characters, setting, and general plot, but ill take it from here <3" because the entire historical timeline had so much potential for interesting and nuanced story telling but they just went with the old zelda story formula and YES thats how theyve always done it but botw was such a reset in terms of gameplay that they couldve overhauled how they handle story in totk. but they didnt

#ramblings #all the races swearing fealty to rauru made me so uncomfortable #like yeahhh ganondorf evil or whatever but also. hey. why is the one leader fighting for the independence of his people. the evil villain #am i just not getting something here am i insane #my first thought when i heard about ganondorf returning was 'wow they could turn him into an actual character' AND THEN THEY DIDNT #its been half a year i feel like the honeymoon period is over. totk was kinda mid. im sorry #it was alright but it just. didnt grab me. at all #botw was interesting because it was new but totk made me yearn for the older zelda formula #though tbh. im always yearning for the older zelda formula. i grew up on oot & twilight princess #you hype up ganondorf so much you make him look like THAT (no im still not over this) and then you just. do what weve always done #this happened in twilight princess. it happened in oot. it happened in ww. hell if you count demise it happened in skyward sword #IT HAPPENE.D IN THE FUCKING HYRULD WARRIORS SPINOFF #'oooh noooo the great evil has returned' WEVE BEEN HERE EVERY TIME. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POTENTIAL #heres the gerudo having a man born and making him king as is their custom but they spend years in fear that he will be monstrous #here they are after all these iterations of ganondorf afraid to even have kids out of fear that SOMEONE will bring the new great evil #heres a child recently given the throne despite being barely more than a baby always treated with fear by everyone around him #ARE YOU SEEING MY VISION???? #the curse is right there. do something with it. oh my god #i KNOW zelda games are just simple heros journeys but pleaseeee i need food #you dont have to make ganondorf nice just. do something with him im so tired of the evil guy caricature #i like guys who are plain evil but i like them more when they have some fucked up motivation beyond taking over the world

[minimoefoe]

kinda want to gif every single ballum moment in order (like I'm doing with 13's era rn) bc ben leaving has brought the fixation back and I'm missing them and it'll be a fun way to kill the time between now and when ben (hopefully😭) comes back bc it will defo take literal years for me to do

but first of all idk where to download soap eps and second of all idk how to be sure I've got EVERY moment without rewatching literally every episode from their meeting to now and..I don't wanna do that right now

#natchats #ballum #eastenders #and like #i AM currently watching from 2008 onwards #so its not necessarily the amount of watching #id have to do thats the problem #i just dont want to do that Now but i Do want to gif now #so its a dilemma #bc i wanna do ballum moments #but also ppl talking aboht them and stuff like that #not just ben and callum in scenes together yknow #IDK !!!!! #ALSO #im like.. #doing this now may be pointless? #like literally right at the end of ballum basically #idk how many ppl will be sticking around now that they're not in the show anymore #not that id be makong the gifs purely for interactions #but some would be nice #tho tbf ive made ftwd gif sets and barely anyone is into that usually and idrc #we'll see #EDIT #with watching from 2008 i was thinking of stopping at 2019ish bc i got back into the show around wedding week #so im like ive defo watched all this stuff and somewhat recently too #but i Could just continue watching so i can defo find every ballum moment #but that is gonna be a LONG time away bc ive got 11yrs of ee to watch before i get their lmao #i guess i dont necessarily have to do it all in the right order #bc its not as easy as it is with 13's era #somwthing about it being all in order is satisfying tho like the idea someone can go through the tag and see their whole story in order. UGH

[toastsnaffler]

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests... #theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man #it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing #eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED #and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself #by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others #it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless #ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!) #but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking #and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk #oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao #and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3 #voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries #that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them #and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long #+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc #and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it #to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍 #anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite #if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^) #.vent #.diaries

[deus-and-the-machina]

ffxiv garlemald discourse is so funny because people will go "ugh people just cant stand it when things aren't black and white" and then you look at how the empire are portrayed in stormblood and shadowbringers and its like hm. that seems like a pretty intense and accurate display of violent imperialism to me! Wow I wonder why people in this day and age may find it hard to feel sympathy for them or even hate them on principal. god its such a mystery.

the games like 50/50 to me on how it tackles these themes because I actually like the garlemald arc in EW, I think it has a lot of horrific and powerful scenes depicting how self destructive fascist propaganda and beliefs are, but I also think it doesn't go far enough on some fronts. the garleans' xenophobia is most notably and obstacle to getting them to accept the contingent's help, which is what they're there to do,

but there's never an admission of harm from any garleans on the uuuuuuuuh massive amount of war crimes the nations around them are still suffering from they're just kind of like "we misjudged you...but you actually wanted to help us all along" like yeah thats great now can we get you all some deprogramming because you keep talking about returning to your prime and glory days and I think we need to unpack some stuff you really SHOULDNT return to. im not even really talking about EW proper but the patches where things are a bit more chilled out and people are recovering.

It feels like they wanted to have their critique of imperialism and also have things end with the beauty of human connection and reaching out and these things just don't mesh well because hey a lot of your modern day audience is not gonna like having to treat people yelling xenophobic things at the cast and your character with kid gloves after you showed them hours and hours of the awful things these people's beliefs have done. especially in the present day hoo boy.

#im kind of torn between 'no characters dont need to be 'punished' to be redeemed but also the characters just being so lenient with the #colonizers after we see far too many people being lenient if not supportive of the colonizers irl. well. it really blows afslkjfalkf and #yeah you can argue if they'd gone through with the garlemald expansion they would've had more time to go into this but the fact is that its #absent from what they did do and I especially think the patches when we go to garlemald and the EW role quests going 'hey maybe the #provinces can help us rebuild' as if they'd have any goddamn right to ask that just make me feel like they didnt stick the landing #seeing all the characters who have suffering time and time again bc of the garleans or seen the results of their actions having to clamp #their mouths shut every time someone said something xenophobic in EW isnt satisfying and it leaves so much unsaid! #also some people feel like the narrative didnt blame emet enough but ngl I think thats reductive even with his micromanaging scheming littl #ass and the intention of garlemald turning out a shitshow that doesnt make anyone else less complicit. most governments like this exaggerat #and lie and spread propaganda but I dont think most people here excuse the actions of a bigot because 'they were raised that way' #this is also my issue with gaius' writing. hes primarily upset that ascians were behind what he thought was his good old fashioned natural #conquering ideology :( and doesnt it suck so much he killed people for it. like yeah he seems pretty aware what he did was wrong but his #ideology remains bizarrely intact and unchallenged by the characters around him. no dude it wasnt just the ascians the system is a lot more #complex than that by this point aaaaaugh #final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #siren says #I hope people are nice to me about this I dont think I said anything particularly controversial to the Tumblr crowd (twt maybe but fuck em) #ig my main point with this post is that the game isnt perfect at writing this and also that look. I actually liked the main arc in EW and I #like quite a few garlean characters but I completely understand why others didnt like it or any garleans esp if they have their own persona #experiences with colonialism and I dont get to tell them they're invalid for that. too many people get judgmental about this understandably #upsetting topic and you just gotta accept that this is a big line for many people

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#guess whos back in therapy bby 😎 #the lady i saw was nice. 1st appointments r always a lotta blah blah blah so much to cover #and im always like bleh whatever im not that bad but when u put it all down on paper it is sorta a lot lol #i got the comment. hm u seem to kno a lot abt the dsm. and like listen. i have been meticulously categorizing my problems for the last 4 #years. and i like to learn so ya kno. also said yea it sounds like u r having hypomanic episodes. #and asked if bipolar was a possibility and like if i was bipolar that would absolutely blow my god damn mind. im pretty sure its just pmdd #but whatever. im open to the possibility. mostly i wanna hear someone else perspective on this #i feel like im collaborating on a project. like gimmie ur notes i wanna see if were on the same track. bc im insane like that #i always feel bad when they apologize for asking invasive questions. like neh its fine. i got nothin to hide and i dont give a fuck #also i told a class of my peers that my distraction from research is drawing narut0 fan art. again bc i do not #give a single fuck. Professors response: hopefully we get to see it some day. bro. if u ask me i will show u. i do not care #i mean. probably nothing too weird but i feel like most of my stuff is safe to share. i just come off looking like a weeb i guess #but yea back in therapy bc my mum reminded me bc the ppl around me irl r also worried for my well-being based on my behavior lol #i mean its just bc i complain that im in like psychological pain a lot. so lots and lots of bitching abt my brain ^^ #the lady i saw did fall a lil bit into my trap. like what woulf ur life look like if u had everything under control? bc it seems like ur #here and ur starting a phd what more do u want? and im like mwahaha but u see i can do school #i can do school so good. i am the best at school and thats it. i am otherwise barely functional #so i can be successful on paper and dysfunctional when it comes to having a life :-] #but whatever. well see what she wants to follow up on next week bc i threw a lot at her #also went to my office for the 1st time. it is really nice to sit in a working lab and watch ppl interact. but also i do feel like im #dying if i try to sit in that room with 2 other ppl lol. so well see how it goes. i may find somewhere else to hide #unrelated

[alchemiclee]

there's so many popular repetitive video games that seem so boring to play, but then I watch people stream them with a group of friends, and they make it seem so fun just because the people playing are so lively and goofy and funny. I want that. I want to be part of a group of streamers or at least group of friends that make receptive and otherwise boring games fun and hilarious. a group that's not boring, serious, competitive. one that cares more about having fun and laughing than completing the video game objective 😭

#like the currenr one lethal company #it doesnt look fun at all and looks like it would get boring fast. UNLESS you have hilarious friends to laugh with #which i lack. i dont have enough friends and most people i know and would play co op games are too serious and boring #people probably think the same of me. im generally quiet and confused when playing games and bad at them #usually people get mad at me for being bad or goofing around so its never fun. but the fun people never invite me #probably because they thjnk im the boring one. but i absorb energy like a sponge!!!!! be silly and funny and i will too! #i really need a group of people with great silly fun energy who i csn feed off of. i miss laughing. i need to laugh. i never laugh anymore😐 #lee rambles #every time i tried playing with people i know I honestly got so bored. I feel bad because they're the only ones nice enough to play with me. #but they're too serious and not funny. so I haven't played with them in like a year at least and am afraid to ask lmao #why do the silly fun people avoid me and only the serious boring people would agree...i need an energy boost #i need a person to be my battery. where do i get a battery #want to play l4d2 again. its been a while. its so hard to fill the lobby and the couple people that used to play with me arent funny 😅 #if i could get a group of silly funny weirdos together then id try lethal company. but i wont try with boring groups #there's so many games i bought to play with people and got ditched that could use a goofy group too. sighs. #why am i still rambling. i dont even have the energy to speak to multiple people at once and play a game #but maybe that's why i need a battery #anyway i kinda really miss doing silly goofy rp and regular gaming hasnt been able to replace the laughter that brought me 😭😭 #i need a good laugh. cant remember last time i laughed until i cried. laughing makes me feel good for a bit sighs. someone make me laugh pls

[airbenderedacted]

NO YOU NOTICE IT TOO???? EVERY NICE/OPTIMISTIC CHARACTER IS ALWAYS HEADCANONED AS PAN QND I??? HUH????? Not that there's anything wrong with being pan, I'm mspec myself, but it's ALWAYS the happy go lucky characters and I??? 😭

IT'S,,,.,...,.

#mango-mya #like ig i wanna cut some slack to the very young kids who're doing it bc they're still learning and figuring things out and uhhh yeah #they're gravitating to what makes sense to them n i think lots of them dont have the concept of sexuality fully separated from personalty- #-in their heads yet. bc character tropes and flanderizations and stereotypes are easier to ''get'' #so tl;dr it's easier for them to get p submerged in stereotypes bc they're still new to everything n stereotypes r by definition Everywhere #it doesnt make it less Not Great & they do need to learn better but ik it's not done w like. malice / willful ignorance (mmost of the time) #BUT OLDER FOLKS........ GROWN PEOPLE PERPETUATING THIS STUFF.............. MASSIVE MASSIVE SIDE-EYE. BC WHHY R U STILL THINKING THIS STUFF! #the lack of self-reflection is NOT it 😔‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ #IT'S LITERALLY JUST ABT ATTRACTION SO WHY ARE U OUT HERE THINKING THAT SWEETER/NICER = NO GENDER PREFERENCES??!? NO!!!!! #THAT SAYS REALLY BACKHANDED THINGS ABT PEOPLE WHO ARE GAY/LESBIAN/STRAIGHT (& ARO/ACE EVEN) !!!!!! OUGHGFGFYGFHHGHGGHHh #ofc you can be a kid & maliciously internalize shitty things like that too but imho the older/experienced you are the more likely this is #w/ age comes wisdom and all that. MASSIVE alarm bells if someone thinks these things and has been around queer communities a lot #atp that's a sign of it being kiNDA DELIBERATE ourgh #and yea the inverse is true to certain degrees. you can be older but super new & ignorant abt lgbt+ stuff but uh. in this specific case.. #a lot of it is just...... bro... all you have to do is think a little. just a little. abt why niceness =/= sexuality. willfully ignorant sh #blaaagh #OH! And ofc: there's nothing INHERENTLY wrong w/ hcing characters like this as pan / etc. #you can make lgbt+ hcs influenced by personality ofc - it IS kinda best to lowkey Not but ykw it depends on how you're going abt it!!! #(*cough* LEAVE NICENESS/FRIENDLINESS OUT OF IT 😀🙏) #& it's not bad & evil for a character to fit some ~~stereotypes~~ bc those fr aren't always a bad thing!! sometimes it's legit commonalitie #but if stereotypes are ALL you ever do... if you knee-jerk leap onto WEIRD/NASTY stereotypes... if you base sexuality on niceness/goodness. #YUEAH THAT IS NOT FUCKING GOOD AND SOME SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD... LIKE BOATLOADS OF SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD #and really any time you're looking to a charcater's personality to come up w/ ur hcs... #(which will probably be often bc honestly what influences hcs in general more than that?) #just take a second to ask yourself if you're tapping into any personal biases/misconceptions/alladat !! #most of the time it isn't a question of ''would this look wrong?'' but rather just ''am i looking at this wrong?'' #sexuality is just who you have the hots for!!!! not how kindly or wholesome or open you are! (that's just action/expression not orientation #(´･ω･`) 👍👍 #.......sorry i rambled so much here. i'm on my meds today 😅 #my brain has too many thoughts in it and things to say like Always aohgbhbvsfs

[snekdood]

if words are not enough to get a manipulative person to leave you tf alone and hit the road, wtf are ya supposed to do? maybe throw a small toy at them to send a message

#bitch i coulda been way worse dont play #if it were me now with all the self respect i have now i woulda thrown more shit ta have ya running out the door ok #idc #i mighta fucked around and thrown my shit at you ok. #i dont think you realize the distress you caused by gaslighting me about what you did to me and also trying to be just like me? #like basically cosplay as me but want me to still date you? sorry that shits fucking weird. and i tried ending it every time you got #to that point. but ya kept trying to keep me around anyways even though you knew i was uncomfortable. didnt matter what i said #you'd find a way to manipulate the situation to keep you around. so what am i supposed to do to send the message of #'GO THE FUCK AWAY I DONT TRUST YOU AND I DONT WANNA DATE SOMEONE WHOS GONNA COSPLAY AS ME' #when words arent enough? no matter how i approached it? #i tried being nice about it. but my primal self defence kicked in and told me 'this bitch needs to get tf away from us' #so how do i show you to fuck off in a way you'll fuckin understand? yeah. #i tried playing your dumb words game. i tried playing it the way you do it. for a whole fuckin year. where you use words to manipulate. #i tried to figure out what way i could order the words that would get you to finally understand. didnt matter what i said. #bc thats how you are- you think you can say whatever tf you want and if you face any consequences suddenly its the other persons #fault. i interpreted your cosplay as mocking me. deep down all you are is a bully hiding under an uwu veneer. but yall verbal bullies alway #gotta act like victims once ya get hit with something that you had plenty of fucking warnings about. #its as if you were testing me to see when i'd snap. and then when i snap you act like a victim. fuck the entire fuck off and drown in shit. #fuckin bendy from fosters home ass type bitch #vent

[beauceronn]

Pain. Agony

#i guess i am going to the iabca show this weekend since i was invited to help out. #but the next akc show i am being pulled in 6 different directions and so scheduling must be done. #onofrio!!!! please!!!! it is less than 2 weeks away!!!!! #counts are as expected. i know most of the dogs entered in breeds i care about* #(* i care about all breeds but i only watch a few im genuinely interested in owning) #but i think there are going to be conflicts and these conflicts are going to be annoying to plan around #beauces SHOULD go first thing in the morning which would be awesome. if gsheps go directly afterward - awesome. #then i need to groom and be ringside for roughs. hopefully they go after lunch or just before. #but my friends would like some help with borzoi which i love to help with. but borzoi often go around the same time as roughs #late morning/early afternoon #and i need to set aside plenty of time to shoot the shit #i should honestly just get a hotel with someone instead of a 5 hr #drive/day #back and forth for two days #i should really go fri through sun for the specialties but i already took friday off the following week to volunteer for an independent #specialty #it really is incredible how one year ago i was looking for a dog show to go to - any dog show - and all i could find was one collie show #infodog you have changed my life in many ways. #oh and i am going ukc mode in november which will be fun. a friend might need some help with her girl (who i am obsessed with) #i dont like ukc as much as akc but it is nice to see klee kais and ambullies and silkens #its just too relaxed/unstructured 🤣 #obviously i like to know a plan WELL in advance.. lol

[flyingspicerack]

mm...

#i think maybe i should take a break from tumblr... #idk... i feel like im becoming a little bit too obsessive #like with everything... with everyones image of me and with everyone and with .... idk im starting to ... #im starting to obsess over every little interaction with everyone i desire to be closer to #and thats... not healthy... ive spend so much time recently worried about if the people i want to be friends with even really like me #and i know they do theyve said as much but ... even with that im still feeling left out and i dont want to feel like that #not that i AM being left out but my brain making me feel as if i am ... and im not sure how to change it other than maybe taking a step bac #im sorry if theres anyone ive made uncomfortable with my interactions #i tend to be very.... forward once someone is nice to me and i dont realize im being too annoying or overbearing so im really sorry if ive #done that to you im really really sorry #so if you dont see me around for a few days this might be why #im still... not sure if ill fully leave but.... #idk if you read this and i HAVENT been overbearing and annoying id really like some reassurance that i havent been ... because somtimes... #its hard to hear all the genuine nice voices over my own mind telling me no one wants me around #sorry if u read this tho.... #spice.txt #spice.vent #i guess its a vent??? tagging in case....