#and its like!!!! i have the money i just HATE it. i barely have the money. like i just dont feel Ready idk

[aroacehanzawa]

whats ur beef?

My favourite manga lost the plot so now i cope by being a hater 👍

#long answer is i have beef with the direction that the bsd manga has taken #it only superficially resembles the beloved mystery and character-driven detective agency story with atsushi as the main character #i'm dissatisfied with major developments like killing off fyodor and reviving him and pulling this #PSYCH his ability wasn't what you thought it was. with zero foreshadowing or buildup #because the manga has become full of marvel-movie type plot twists that serve little to no coherent narrative purpose except shock factor #it cheapens the story and it cheapens the development of characters and it cheapens the reader's experience #because we can't speculate and we can't draw connections and parallels and engage with the story on a deeper level #what connections there exist (for example between manga and anime) are shoehorned in after the popularity of the anime and #specific characters (e.g. fyodor who was shoehorned into untold origins in the anime) and mostly the characters who bring in money #i.e. fyodor and dazai and chuuya and their relationships especially soukoku. all this at the expense of characters like atsushi or #the majority of the female cast. who have been MIA for god knows how long and who were barely given frame each in the anime's finale #bsd treatment of its female characters has been subpar shounen level at best and now they're completely sidelined #as with most of the original cast and the original themes of the story. in fact i struggle to identify a coherent overarching theme #for the current arc. other than military action scifi movie go brrrr #compared to early arcs where each chapter had a meaningful message to say about the importance of living and what it means to stay alive and #keep going and why we are fighting to keep important people in our lives and to keep ourselves alive #and what it means to belong somewhere and what it means to be good or bad and how your place of belonging affects that #as a long term reader i just feel betrayed and disappointed. by how a story with complex and vibrant characters has become another #generic cashgrab shounen. and i mourn for the lost potential it had and everything the series has build up #only to have plot points abandoned at a whim. #so that's why i'm a hater now 👍 #i know a lot of my bsd mutuals are still big fans of bsd so i try not to be obnoxious about it and mainly keep it comedic #like i don't actually hate the manga. because it's so important to me. and i respect the creators of the manga and anime #but it's frustrating to watch a train wreck in real time. and it's my blog i can hate what i want 😔 #sorry if there are typos i wrote all this on mobile and can't edit the tags. i didn't wanna put any of this in the main post

[soldier-poet-king]

Once again I am asking drivers on the 401 to Not Be Like That

#i live in hell. and its the toronto area. #IM SO TIRED OF THE HIGHWAY #but the transit system is SOOOOOO shitty unless you live directly downtown (cant afford that shit) #BUT EVERYONE DRIVES SO BAD. I JUST WANT TO MERGE. PLEASE LET ME MERGE #i dont wanna get into an accident or itll make my fears so bad ill never drive again #but these bitches just be out here weaving thru traffic with NO CONCERN FOR ME #uSING MY DAMN BLINKER LIKE IM SUPPOSED TO AND NOT SPEEDING #anyway #i slept very poorly (ie. barely any uninterrupted sleep) #and so i feel awake but my emotions are. hm. bad. and having a jackass in a lexus almost hit me #and then get mad at me. makes me feel REAL BAD #and emotionally. it's monday. i had yesterday off for easter. #i either need way more money to move into the city proper or preferably a job in a Not Urban Sprawl Hellscape #let me LEAVE #god. ottawa would be good. or smthn like my college town. 75-100k to half a mil. ideal size #I just. hate urban sprawl and bad infrastructure. so damn much #not to be like. WELL IN EUROPE THEY DO IT BETTER. but in terms of transit and city planning #OH YEAH THEY DO

[brightokyolights]

Bro no joke, forgetting that not everyone hates capitalism and then having to try have a reasonable conversation with someone about buying things... *eye twitch*

#to explain we will have person A - person B and then me #so person B is asking me if its ok to buy stuff from ebay - because i am a person that tries to avoid buying from amazon etc #and im like yeah should be because its independent sellers mostly - to be fair though yall. i barely buy anything online because i hate #online shopping. i try to buy things in person instead #anyways insert person A whos like 👁👄👁 oH aRe YoU oNe Of ThOse PeOpLE ThAt DoESNt pUrCHasE frOm AmAzON #yall im sighing just thinking about this conversation omfg its so stupid #anyways queue me explaining that yeah. i try to avoid it if i can because i dont like my money going to some motherfucker who doesnt need #the money (person B pipes in that jeff bezos is on the way to becoming a trillionaire which is Not Good 🙃 . thank you B now i will go on) #A then goes on to explain all the benefits to amazon “what if you want something the next day” i ask if theres really anything you truly #need right away like that. we used to live in times where you would have to wait or find it in a shop. A says “oh but its so cool and #convenient“ and i say sure. because they have the money and grew their business of being more 'convenient' than other businesses #A says “oh but the customer service is so good. if i want a return theyll do it straight away with no questions and maybe even give me #credit too“ and im like yeah. because they can afford to do that. ”sometimes independent sellers are in there too“ ok so buy from them then #If You Must but i can guarantee you mostly dont. not to mentuon theyre probably only on there in the first place because amazon has made it #so its one of the most popular places to use instead of anywhere else #and it went on. i just stopped talking eventually because it eas one of those situations where the other person was not fucking listening to #the point i was trying to make. which is that if you really have to. ok do it whatever. i get that its a bit impossible to avoid sometimes #im not gonna sit here and pretend when ive not been able to get something anywhere else i havent got it from there. but the point is to #actually think about WHY youre buying stuff and WHO the money is going to. because websites like amazon especially have created such a trend #of overconsumption. that you just buy stuff and then buy prime because oh its so cheap and useful and comes right the next day! and you dont #consider why any of these things are true. whos getting fucked over in the process. that you are one of the people getting fucked over!!! #lord i could go on but i shant #point is. genuinely do what you want like deep down i do not care it does not affect me and i know its not so straightforward #but people who just BLATANTLY and actively SUPPORT rich people (forgot to mention A kept talking about how the whole site was smart and that #Jeff was a genius blah blah) can you sit and realise that this whole system and that FUCKING Imbecile of a man are!!¡! a problem!! #i wish i could articulate it better but im leaving it at that #good morning yall xD #le text post

[girlwiththegreenhat]

tell me you've never had to use skype without telling me you've never had to use skype: you complain about discord

#liz blogs #what am i doing that i am actually completely 100% ok with the way discord runs right now and what they have behind paywalls #what am i doing that other people seem to not be doing that they get frustrated #i hate corporations more than the next guy but they do. still have to make money. to Function #its just bad when the app barely functions Without giving it money #its the difference between having a basic car and having four wheels 1 seat and a steering wheel. only the latter is bad #but the vanilla discord experience is... just fine?? you're not losing out on any Necessary features without it #it's Nice having custom colors and profile themes and funny icons but you don't Need them #the objectively best feature of nitro is the emojis and i am fine shelling out $30 A Year to use them where and however i want #in the basic nitro tier because i cannot fathom how much money it must cost #to run discord and host the insane amount of data it does. can you even Comprehend the sheer Size of what it stores #it is in fact the Only subscription to Anything i currently have #i think the 'fuck corporations fuck capitalism' attitude is Excellent but i think when most people Cannot think critically at all #everything is just black/white to them and they see Any service trying to make money as Bad and start screaming about it #tumblr and discord are on my very short list of services that i am actually very happy with and fine letting them make money #i feel strange watching the internet turn on discord the last couple years. it's still the same app. nothing has changed #literally trying to encorporate n//fts and AI is the only real Shit Move i can think they've ever made and to be fair #like every fucking company is jumping on that right now out of ignorance and not malice #nitro is not the problem though 🥴 are y'all ok #yes i saw people pissing and shitting their pants about discord giving nitro users more themes and thought they were insane #dark mode/light mode is just fine for basic functionality. you dont Need colors. shut up and go burn down an amazon warehouse instead

[wriochilde]

wow . um

#i couldnt sleep until 5 am last night ? i wasnt even using my phone or anything i just . #ifelt terrible and like. whats the word #tgis overwhelming sense of longing #9 months seems too long .and i have things i want to do but i miss them so much i cant wait 9 months #i want to start working out but how can i? i barely have time to do anything else #i miss wearing my shitty graphic tees and cargos everywhere i went and i miss my terrible school #i cant go suit shopping. i should probably do it before may but i dont know if i can #i think i have to save up money? my parents prbably wont help me considering its a suit #idk its pretty typical and its not like im outing myself? but i cant ask #i have this terrible fear of going to my father for literally anything ? like he wont .do anything but i hate his guts #i dont have a winter break so i cant open commisions . ill figure something out later its not urgent whatsoever #tgis is such a random rant i just need to write my thoughts somewhere #finn.txt

[mejomonster]

Ridiculously depressed but I am running ragged (which is surely worsening the depression ToT) so like the idea of weekly therapy to further exhaust me and trigger the anxiety more doesn't sound super compatible

#rant #like. i havent eaten in 6 days im fucking miserable amd on edge. my gi issues are FUCKED right now #so i cant eat and im desperate To eat asap so i really hope my gi issues improve soon jesus fucking christ #anyway... on top of that which... homestly on its own is enough to destroy me emotilnally and exhaust me.... #i also am intensely deptessed a friend has like 5 crushes 4 dating options #i looked up advice today! oh no the spiral! i am considering paying money for a matchmaking service just so i can hate myself more i guess #when even that fails. i havent had a crush in 5 years either. i had like 3 crushes BUT they were married or aro #so i stopped my crush. so basically no crush on available for relationships peolle in half a decade. k feel broken #i looked up how to develop crushes today. google amd youtube apparently think its so rare to Not crush that theres no fucking advice #and then on top of it i have regular run of the mill anxiety. where i disassociate if im in public or around strangers. #which helps Me cope and i Feel great. as in not scared. but it means i dont talk well to strangers. #i try to. but i barely know what im saying and i dont see anyone i see them vaguely then block it out. and thats how i handle public. #and if i can manage to be present i need enough of a crowd i can hide. and if i see an attractive person i look away #cause i turn red and cant breathe. and im chicken i guess. so ur supposed to LOCK EYES with hot strangers and stare. but i need to PRACTICE #and then i also need to practice just. MAKING myself go places that make my anxiety shoot up horribly #and just sit and make myself stare at random peoplr and touch my skin and make myself endure being present. #then i have to do the same thing in public places i Like (which makes me more anxioud and in the past often resulted in panic attacks then #suicide attempts and self harm during said pamic attacks) so im not like super hype to endure that #and id rather endure it WHEN MY HEALTH IS SOLID ENOUGH I CAN EAT #because currently? me hungty? me in immense pain? even non anxiety inducing situatilns are shooting my stress level through the roof. #spilling coffee right now is making me feel like dying. just cayse im hungry and exhausted. i want to work up to 1. gi tract DIGESTING FOOD #PLEASE GOD SOON. 2. my back doesnt hurt so bad so i can STAND in public #3 stand in a nonthreatening public place like a bookstore or grocery store and stare at people #4 stand in nonthreatening place and stare at Hot people #5 attempt to enter a place in public i LIKE A LOT like a local hobby club. attempt for an hour if needed #call it a win if i make it to the doorway befote the panic attack hits. 6 attempt again at least standing IN FRONT of building 5 minutes #7 attempt again and maybr peak in and use bathroom so i can leave if im scared. 8 attempt again to enter building and maybe finally join #event i want to join. 8 attempt looking people in the eyes and remaining present at Location i like. #9 attempt looking pretty people In The Eye. 10 attempt saying hi i like your X #11 attempt conversation (if i got through all prior steps). which. this anxiety work could take 3-4 months minimum

[zhuhongs]

i need to start going to therapy to learn how to talk to people about things and the develop better support systems for myself bc i only talk to like 2.7 ppl bc idk how to talk to anyone and this is ridiculous

#its 2.7 bc i talk to 1 friend who i mostly talk to to distract myself and to experiment differently communication styles. and uh. recently #ive been frustrated with her bc she's very narrow minded abt anything i say abt my own life and abt the feedback i give her as domeone who #has been in a similar situation and got thru it. and its not like its unsolicited. i ask if she wants advice and she will say yes and then #its like 'y does it feel like you are attacking me' like bestie I'm saying this in the least judgemental way bc ive been there. you are #assigning judgement bc u feel bad abt urself. not me! and i cant and wont take responsibility for that. #and then like. kinda my mom but then she cuts me off a lot and basically just kinda says to do whatever makes money like. i tried that and #now im stuck 5 years in at a job i hate that barely pays bc i didn't take a targeted path #and like. my a dif friend i can engage with but she's always busy (nit her fault. i get it. shes got her stuff) so we talk for a total of #15 minutes while shes at a drive thru and nit really listening. which i again. totally get. But. fuck #yea i just want to go to therapy to have adedicated amt of time to talk my shut and like. get some neutral feedback

[camptw1nk]

open.

he doesn’t know how late it is, doesn’t know how long he’s been gone. all he knows is that it’s dark, it’s cold, and he’s terrified. he stumbles through the street, dripping blood along the pavement as he slowly moves. he doesn’t even know how hurt he is, not really. he’s pretty beaten up, he’s limping, his leg hurts, but some part of him is falling back into his usual processes — if he can walk, he can’t really be that hurt, can he? what he’s doing is only just enough to really be classed as walking, but the idea still stands. he wasn’t trying to walk anywhere in particular, at least not consciously, but he soon finds himself at a familiar door, a weak attempt at getting attention as his palm hits the door, leaning against it to keep himself upright. it’s only now hitting him how tired he is, how desperately he craves to just drop to the ground and go to sleep. he can’t imagine that’s a good thing.

he makes another few attempts at pounding on the door, well aware that it’s the middle of the night, some part of him trying not to wake the neighbours. “hey!” his voice is hoarse, clearly pained. he’d done a lot of screaming in the time he’d been gone, sometimes screaming for help, sometimes just having no other way to process the pain. neither did any good, not really. all it did was leave him with a dry and scratchy throat, a constant feeling of strain. “please—” whispered, practically croaked. it becomes clear just how heavily he’d been leaning on the door when it opens, body following the moving door as it moves too fast for him to keep up, quick to drop to the floor. he makes a weak attempt at catching himself with his hands, though in truth he’s already hurting enough that hitting the ground hard isn’t too horrible of a thing to deal with.

#open starter. #make ur reply as long or as short as u vibe with i am going w the flow ehre #i also did. the bare minimum at descriptives so that its maybe easier to work with and slot into any verses #he couldve been gone for days or months or longer u know i vibe w any possible angst #the longer he’s been gone the more his parents have capitalised on it i hate to say #more than a month passing after they refused to pay the ransom and they probably went forward w the assumption hes dead #and then publicised anything they could to make money off their ‘loss’ #his injuries could also be just bumps and bruises or could be very bad and threatening i am just #*gestures vaguely* #if u wanna reply to this and have actual plotted definitive times/injuries/etc we can plot that out i just like 2 keep opens well. open #im also not proof reading so as usual if theres contradictions just take whatever was said second lmao

[tribow]

I wish the energy people spent on hating elon musk was spent on scrutinizing their politicians and bills.

#elon musk #like i get it the dude sucks #but instead of screaming at the idiot being an idiot maybe scream at those allowing him to be awful to his employees? #the space x rocket isn't even worth clowning on him for #he didnt build that shit and its a unique rocket design it would have been genuinely cool if that worked #aaaa but he put his money in it so rocket bad space x bad #y'all just letting him take credit for the rocket like okay #haters literally just giving him more notoriety #meanwhile america has some of the worst bills of all time dancing around and I barely hear a peep about it #the dude isn't worth hating #nothing would be solved if he was suddenly gone #helluva a lot would be solved by killing these bills though

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

#i wish i was better mentally but especially physically so that i could get a job while doing classes #and like yea on the one hand its a privilege to b able to do college without working #on the other hand its because im disabled and it fucking sucks. there were like 2 semesters i was able to hold down a job and do classes #but my hips were absolutely ruined by it. and i was exhausted all the time. and like considering how ive been able to barely manage #just classes. i think if i had a job rn too id actually just. collapse or instantly kill myself lmao #;;;_;;; i hate that i Want to work but realistically cant. i want my own money i miss having my own money #ill try to get a job in my last semester for sure tho bc ill just have the thesis class left so i could manage

[enjoyslurm]

me and my roomie drinking for free because i worked 10 hours in a row 💕

#I have a love/hate relationship with my job i really do love it and the vibe of the place and the training ive acquired #its been a super good opportunity for me!! #business has just been slow so ive been barely scraping by money wise #once i start bartending though ill make a lot more money i really look forward to it #im also gonna be working like 40+ hours a week soon though 😮‍💨 oof

[mxdotpng]

everyone who stopped playing pkmn games after gen 6 was so right for it. why does scarlet/violet look so BAD

#.text #'you can go wherever you want!!!!' okay but what makes this game fun. '.......you can go wherever you want!!!!!' #okay. okay fine but what m 'You Can Go Where You Want.' #open world exploration is a gem in of itself but pokemon games arent. about. exploring. especially considering theyve #not once shown any indication that theyre including what made arceus so successful in that regard #like if youre going to take something that people loved and put it in another game you CANNOT take away what made that thing fun!!! #and the story looks boring to all hell so THAT isnt going to bring anything to the table! the new power up is just mega evolution but #less fun and Sparkly now. theyre doing the literal bare minimum except if the bare minimum was a bar lower than the earths crust #fuecoco im so sorry youre stuck in this game.... #the winning aspect of swsh was that the characters were really fun to have around -- however scarlet/violet #just looks like an amalgamation of what the past games were successful with but only if they looked at the surface of WHY they were #successful at all. not to mention theyre only looking at sun moon & sword shield for that inspiration #bw was successful bc the story FUCKED. the characters were good the music was good and the bad guys were #satisfying to beat the shit out of. its much the same for silver gold and dp. #sun moon was fun bc the story was ALSO fun and the characters were good and made fighting them genuinely fun #and feel like. Fun. like it felt Fun to battle your rivals in that game. i rlly didnt like the trial aspect of the game at all #but some ppl did and thats fine. but what made those fun for people is that it was like. an actual mini puzzle or whatever #and what scarlet/violet has shown this far is like. 'yeah we're kinda just putting together whatever' and. sigh #i dont wanna hate this game bc its not even out yet but gamefreak continually has shown they dont care for their playerbase or #actually making anything thats worth anyones time or money. they just make cashgrabs in order to get the money because #its POKEMON. of course its gonna be hyped up and bought regardless of whether its good or not. #nothing theyve shown has been genuinely captivating save for the short lived hype of Oh Shit New Pokemon #its depressing. #anyway #pkmn

[fabulouslygaybean]

hm. my dad is offering to give me his old phone that he doesn't use anymore, bc then we won't have to shell out $100+ to repair the screen on my current phone, but also i hate the idea of switching to a new phone

#ive almost had this phone for 5 years now and only now is it finally starting to show signs of wear and tear #yeah the screen cracked. but the battery isn't what it used to be and it runs all my apps a bit slower now #to be fair. my phone had an absolute tank of a battery. like im talking it lasted 3 full days with moderate use when i first got it #but now it barely lasts me a day. which is more than some phones but its rlly inconvenient for places like school and work #so idk. logically it would probably be best to just switch to the other phone. but god i don't wanna give this thing up #i feel like im failing somehow by switching to a different phone. this thing has lasted so damn long and its my first working smartphone #so i hate the idea of just switching to a new one. plus like... that means ill have to change all my cords bc my current phone uses a - #- micro USB but the phone my dad is offering only uses USB-C #sighh. plus like... idk. ill have to figure out how to transfer all my data over which will be a headache #also! my current phone has a 128GB SD card that i dont wanna waste but idk if i can change it from internal to external storage now #idk man. this shit sucks. #like... i really really like my phone. its lasted for a really long time and its a powerhouse for such a cheap phone #but idk. i might switch to avoid making my mom spend the money on a new screen. it might be time to give this phone up. #i won't look foward to having to deal with the samsung assistant though. the bixby on my mom's phone opens constantly which is annoying #anyways. im tired and sad about my phone. i shouldn't be sad bc it's just a phone but im a stupid bitch so i feel sad. #i need to stop getting attached to tech. its a bunch of metal and plastic and wires.

[funkylittledemon]

I fucking hate being the one everyone expects to organise shit because then it's all on me to remember everything and it's not even just the memory it's organising things chronologically in my mind that I just cannot do

#i also equally hate how me hanging out with my friends relys so much on me having money #just. all of it. its all too much. #if i go to x i can only spend y amount of money because i want to see my friends and if i spend all my money i won't be able to #i just wanna scream #because i still need money left over from seeing my friends bevause of the stupid trip i have to go on #and i only have about 40 quid and i just cant manage my spending like that #its not even cash #if it was cash i could see it physically go down but its all on card #theres just so many dates and events i have to manage but i can barely manage my own every day shit #and it's ally fault if everything goes wrong because *i* didnt sort it all out properly #it doesn't help that some people are talking in dates eg this happens on the 3rd #and some are talking in days eg can we do this on Friday #and i say yeah we can do both because i don't fuckin realise it's the same fucking day

[psilocybinaut]

It's one of those days, where if i didn't have weed as a cushion, i would be beyond distraught.

I'm still pretty upset, but I feel like i surely would've been crying if i hadn't smoked

#just long day of work #got robbed out of some tips #somewhat circumstantially #had a goose chase of a delivery for like a crazy amount of food #and they also stiffed me #had to do catering tonight as a manager #that fucking sucked #had to do last minute bread #had to do last minute trays #had to remop the whole store because they on bs #what a lazy fuggin driver #thought i miscounted drawer #guess i did #but like i was wrong about being wrong #annnnnnnd all of that #i mightve been able to shrug off #to just unabashadly not give a fucking shit #but i also popped my tire on a delivery today #and i know i have the warranty #and its free #but idk where it is #so its probably gonna cost me money #which i fucking hate #because i already barely made fucking tips tonight #but even in the highly unlikely event that it is free #still just the fact i have to take time out of my day before work tomorrow to do it #is so draining #like if it does end up being free thats what would make my day #but im still like so mad frfr #ok thats my vent for the night

[be-good-to-bugs]

yay weed

#the bin #i shoudk save my money but im not going to. this is the closest thing i have to antidepressants and actually effective pain killers so #whatever. it helps with my anxiety too. it helps with almost everything. unless im in a lot of pain and then it makes that pain way worse #if i have a more than minor headache then it makes that way worse and if something specific hurts really REALLY bad then its not good #but if not then it fixes most of my stuff. its temporary but it whaatever works :/ and the next day is usually pretty good too #its not THAT expensive. ive been getting the cheapest option around me and its not terrible. i wish i could have less but alas #i envy ppl who can do 10mgs and have it help and have a good time. i have 10mg and everything sucks #everything still hurts. my brain is still very much on. im just unable to see straight and my walking gets weird and my mouth gets dry #and nothing is enjoyable. it just sucks. 15 is ok but its not really worth it to me honestly. its kinda boring. if im soending this money #then it has to be good. better to have a much better experience than to save a little bit of money and have several less good ones #that are barely worth it anyway. hhh. my sister is being less weird abt it now at least. #i kinda fucking hate that this works so well but when i oull the 'it shuts my tourettes completely off' card ppl suddenly get very ok with #any amount i wanna have however often. its deeply insulting but also very expected. at least its convenient for me in this case #with my mom its not that insulting i guess. last time she was around mw very often my tics eere real bad and they were obviously very #unpleasant for me. but its mostly bc everything there was so stressful and overwhelming all the time and ut made it far worse #but shes actually pretty normal abt it. at leasts he is now #its rare that people are. ppl look at me like im inhuman. i try very very hard not to tic around people bc of this #the ppl im around rn dont look at me weird but ive hardly ever ticced in front of them. #getting high also helps my ocd so much which is huge. im glad when i move ill have a very not judgmental person to get it for me #at least my other older sister is very normal abt it. shes like yeha its ur body ur money ur choice. whatever man. and that s great.