#and thats probably never gonna happen

[puppyeared]

Jitterbug

#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it #and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago #bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o) #well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall #im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot #i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing???? #i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T #because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks #at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better #its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh #in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats #mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year #i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o) #THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o( #yapping #my art #myart #doodles #personal #diary

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

You ever think about what's gonna happen when the Welcome Home website updates in December? Hopefully, at least for what I think, we'll get to see the fabled Julierella! Or any visual parts of the show in general. Probably something fit for the holiday spirit.

Maybe wondering about their relatives and loved ones living outside the neighborhood, and the fact that the residents haven't left to see them in some time.

Stuff like that! Maybe even some new recipes!

i try not to think about it or i'll become so nervoucited that i'll get nauseous

#the fact that its a psychological horror brings my excitement #from 'ohhhh i cant wait!!!' #to Im Genuinely Deeply Nervous AND Deeply Excited. #welcome home stresses me the fuck out but... in a good way? somehow??? #still i dont wanna think about whats to come or my entire day will be lost to pacing & staring at a wall w/ a racing heart #it probably will be housewarming themed - if thats still the in-universe version of christmas for the neighborhood #but yeah! so stoked im anxious! yeehaw! #whatever happens im going to go absolutely fucking Feral #also theres an element of 'i cant even imagine. anything could happen. things will happen that ive never even considered' #rambles from the bog #yk actually a thought ive had #is if i start streaming. before the update #maybe... i could stream the update. #yk me and any of you who join checking it out for the first time and looking for secrets #could be fun! if! emphasis on if!! #could be nice. cause like... idk about you guys but i dont have irl friends to sit down and check it out with #the updates are fun but a little lonely for me! its just me in my room wishing i could share the First Time Excitement yk yk #just. something for me to consider aiming for! #oh my god i just realized ill probably be working #i swear to god if the update drops while im at work im just gonna quit and walk out the door #ohhhh now im nervous about that happening... heres hoping it wont... #lmao who am i kidding! given my luck's track record that absolutely Will happen

[autistickhunsam]

#me: they should hook up but thats never gonna happen #reboot (hulu): #when she was on the phone with reed i was p sure tho #reboot hulu #reboot (hulu) #its probably just gonna be a one time thing #but im fine with that #rebootedit #tvedit #wlwedit #mysc #bree jensen #timberly fox #reboot spoilers

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

preparing for afternoon classes.... check out my short king

#look i know lysandre is just fucking tall in general BUT STEVEN LOOKS SO FUNNY IN COMPARISON TO HIM HES SO 🤏🤏🤏🤏🤏 #HE'S EVEN SHORTER THAN ALAIN BUT THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE OF HIS DEWDROP SHAPED HAIR #I FEEL LIKE I TALKED WBT THIS BEFORE BUT I FORGOTTTTT #STILL. HEHEE SHORT KING #im genuinely so excited to meet him in xyz iirc? im making good progress watching xy #aside from that episode where jessie crushes on him since thats his first xy debut i think #but i mean excited to see steven just. APPEAR there and talk n shit and EHEHEHEHEE #remember that gif i shared where he was just throwing a PokeBall... i never saw that scene before and i went crazy #theres a lot thats gonna happen in the end and HES gonna be there EEEEEEEE SO EXCITED #i think I'm already reaching the xyz chapters #steven stone.rom

[wander-wren]

really really randomly getting into the idea of fibre arts but like especially spinning/weaving? i have never tried it. i don’t know if i would be any good. but i kinda love a little task

#bird noises #hand spinning #???? #i almost dont want to tag bc this is nothing but maybe they will see me #hi! #i…..should probably be more consistent with my existing crafty hobby before i commit to anything #but thats like never gonna happen

[diah-the-demon]

why am i so nervous about handing the letter to my neighbours to ask if they have my packages

#last time it happened they handed the packages to my mum but shes still on holiday for another 2 days #i dont think they know what i look like so thats probably why #they could've dropped them off at the house but i guess there isnt a guarantee they wont get stolen even tho we've never had porch pirates #cause our house is just so out of the way from the street #anyways ughhh curse you social anxiety #il go out and put it in their door when im going to the bus stop to get to college #im just gonna be nervous af

[oscill4te]

damn the family event i was supposed to go to today was canceled and it is bittersweet. Like I really didn't wanna go bc i am still not over everything, and seeing them always sets me back really bad. but damn, this family is so dysfunctional. everyone single family member just bailed or ghosted for different reasons. its kinda sad. I always feel as if I am the person who broke the family facade too. I bailed the last 2 years on this event too. so it is double ouch.

#gonna go uh. process things I guess. #like ;-; i was kinda hoping to see my sisters and aunt. moms okay. i mostly just didnt want to see my dad... #i scare my dad. he is scared of me. he turns all red and avoidant. i dont know why. #okay i do know why but its so complicated. he read through my diary when i was at work once #i fucking hate him for being such a control freak but i am just like him i guess #and lets just say; what he read probably has changed his view of me forever #i should be allowed to uncover repressed memories in privacy without family members reading it... #and i am allowed to have whatever pain i have about those things that happened... #i hate him for reading through my things #i am allowed to stumble and make mistakes and it was confirmed by my sister that it did happen so... #i am allowed to have feelings about it even if it is over reacting in others eyes and express it privately in my diary #i dont remember what i said in the note bc he took it. he wildly misinterpreted it too #he thinks i think he is a predator. no!!!! i dont think that!!!! im just hurt by weird things he has done #this stupid entry i wrote ruined our relationship but he shouldn't have read it #that note was only for me and potentially my therapist #and he never even talked to me about it. thats the worst thing. he sent my mom to talk to me about it #and he misinterpreted it so badly. bc theh both speak different languages and #the things my mom was telling me.. i was like.. i did not say those things... wtf #horrible game of telephone #txt

[fearforthestorm]

it is such a shame that rainstorms are a consistent migraine trigger for me because I love the rain so much but especially I love the way that the rain makes my city look. it goes all gray and lit-from-within at civil twilight and the skyscrapers at city center stretch up so high that the shapes lose definition and it's something that I am just so so fond of.

#not to mention the classic streetlights and wet pavement. thats always been a particular little thing that ive loved #it feels more like autumn than late winter today which makes me a little upset but driving in rain is better than driving in ice at least #im in a bit of a really strange introspective mood now that ive finally cleared the worst of the migraine #a lot of stuff has happened for me lately that i havent talked about on here at all just to a couple of close friends. #and im kind of. actively trying? to stop caring so much about telling people about things. #a couple weeks ago i did something that not a soul on earth knows. and they never will. and it was SO FREEING. #<- not anything bad or whatever just. a regular thing that happened that i didnt tell anyone about. #idk. im trying a lot more lately to worry less about sharing my life and more about just living it. its good i think. #youll probably still get luke. hyperspecific emotional/contemplative oversharing in the tags sometimes #but ive been doing a lot more things that im not telling anyone about. that exist just for me. and im gonna keep doing that. #.lyr

[saturnsfather]

yknow. if i had a nickel for every time i had a huge crush on someone, never did anything about it, then reconnected with them several years later only to be told that they Also Had Feelings For Me or Currently Have Feelings For Me, except because of the time distance or other factors i/we cant/wont do anything about it and then i pretty much never see them again, id have two nickels. which isnt a lot, but it sure did happen twice.

#tbd #just. reflecting #man. remember being a Kid. #funny enough neither guy was someone i cried over! i DID cry over a boy in middle school because i couldnt work up the nerve to ask him #to dance with me. which in retrospect is so silly. i did also still think i was a girl back then too #but anyway. first guy didnt work out bc by the time he told me he liked me #which by the way was WILD bc he basically admitted that the very distinct memory i have as a turning point in our relationship #where we actually became friends. was ALSO the moment he REALIZED HE HAD FEELINGS FOR ME. and it just never came up. lmao #but by then id been over him for a few years. and then i ghosted him. #second guy i reconnected with in high school and he got a girlfriend partway through that year. #but he had a car and occasionally gave me rides home from school. and on one of them we started talking #about the summer camp we originally met at. and i told him id had a huge crush on him back then #(fully equipped with the knowledge that i still did kind of have one) #and thats when he told me ‘haha woah really?? i had feelings for you too. thats crazy’ #and then we never talked about it again. #to be fair it probably never would have worked with us anyway because i have I Could Fix Him disease #and always have. #and he already had a drinking problem. at sixteen. so you can imagine how i felt about that. #anyway. all this is to say. #if it happens again im gonna k!ll myself lol #thats a joke. i will not. but i will be So fucking mad

[kohakhearts]

well folks its been a good two months of denial but i am finally ready to admit that the reason everything sucks is because of major depression relapse. if i werent so depressed id make this everyone elses problem by projecting it on to blorbo but alas

#taylor.txt #incapable of making this not a joke but i do have to say it kinda sucks #like obviously ive never been 100% free of my depression probably on account of it developing when i was a Child and then not getting any #treatment or even really any sympathy for until i was in my late teens but. BUT. even my historic mental breakdown 2 years ago didnt really #feel like depression. like yeah i was sad and hopeless but this is very different. sad and lethargic more so. simply too tired to be lost i #despair. which is i guess a good thing because it means its easier for me to fix. its just that right now im kinda stuck in it #i dont know if id say ive experienced major depression since my first year of uni #thats why ive been denying it all this time despite it being pretty…glaringly obvious #anyway. good news is im meeting with the prof of one of the classes im currently failing this week #and now i guess i kind of have an idea of what to tell her because all this time ive been struggling and i havent understood why #the content makes sense. i understand whats going on. but my memory has gotten so bad recently and the energy required to do my assignments #has been way too much. and im past my limit on that at this point unfortunately. like yeah shes probably gonna tell me well that sucks but #theres nothing i can do to save your grade and thats fine but at least i know even if it was a Me Problem that i let myself get depressed #again in the first place being actively depressed is a major barrier that i at least know isnt 100% me being an idiot with a bad attitude #i will struggle to the finish line but i will make it there. even if i fail a class or two in the process #and regardless of if it gets better i will finally go see my therapist again in the new year </3 something obviously led to this so whos to #say it wouldnt happen again if i just let that fester. whatever it is #also writing has been tough for the same reason school has been tough but its still happening and i will do more of it when school is over #i PROMMY

[angryborzois]

I have a whole stack of college pamphlets that have been sent to me but I don't even know what I wanna do in the future 😞

#angryborzois rambles #my email inbox is even worse #most of them are from like #the east coast #but my mom said it doesn't matter because we're gonna move out of this place soon anyway #like oh. #unrelated but im kinda sad by all these changes like moving #i mean ig its a part of growing up but idk it just wasnt what i expected #but thats probably me still being confused about what happened between my parents last year because they never explained anything to me #lowkey got forced to grow up faster from that alone

[yourcalamity]

btw anyone with song/yt vid/misc distraction recommendations for flying or recommendations on navigating flying if you are an extremely anxious person are very welcome in my replies or messages or inbox

#im trying to put together playlists now hopefully i can use them this year #its gonna be 6-7 hours wach day becayse it’s literally the other side of the country #last year i was so busy making sure emergencies dont happen i never used any of the playlists i made #and from the sounds of it its likely that will happen again but im hoping maybe i wont be the glue holding everything together for once #its very difficult to be optimistic about any of this with little to no comfort and help before i leave most likely little or no comfort or #help while im like i said preventing emergencies and putting out fires and then i gave myself a day off after i get back which will probably #be spent cleaning with little to no comfort or help and life will stay the same forever. thats just if i dont disappear in the woods though

[princekirijo]

Istg I actually need to sit down and write a proper bio for Riku because even I get confused af as to what his personality is sometimes.

#oc tag #“but prince he's your oc how tf did this happen” he has a mind of his own trust me #i mean this is literally one of the parts of his character he is literally so good at adapting his personality #because he felt he needed to as a kid both in school and in the business world #that barely anyone knows what he's actually like #like one minute he's a suave overconfident guy who can take on anything #but hes also the quiet dude in class who never participates is probably asleep but somehow gets everything right and is top of the grade #he loves to flirt but will absolutely blue screen if anyone flirts back because despite the fact he flaunts himself- #he doesn't think hes attractive LMAO #his biggest motivation is spite and he doesn't know when to quit #this boy has so many fucking issues istg #def one of those characters who has so many masks that he hardly knows himself #i have a fear that he's nearly too complex to the point where he's a confusing character and i personally dont think thats a good thing #so i really hope that's not the case for you guys 😬 #over my break ive really spent time trying to iron out his character and just make him into soemthing im even more proud of you know #the good thing is that at least his story now has a clear arc and theme which im really proud of #so im gonna use that to build off and iron him out even more #the way i put more work into this funky dude i came up with than like my entire uni work #i love him so much sorry to be mentally ill about a guy i made because i liked a ship too much (and crossover i was having fun with too) #one day i will have a proper post for him with references and everything for him his outfits his personas the lot #one of these days

[muirneach]

honestly it does suck how many shows ive missed for years and years just because every venue ever is 19+ like damn they’re cutting out a huge demographic like teens notably love music… show us a little love. >gets into modern and slightly popular music so i can actually go to concerts cause everyone i like is dead or old. >cant even go to the damn concerts

#its like you can only see ppl if they are famous enough to go to massey hall #which is also more expensive:/ #or budweiser stage or the acc etc etc but ive never been there thats only if somones Really popular #like yeah ppl will probably come back in a couple years… but im a fan NOW #what if in a few years i dont like them or the album theyre touring for sucks ass or something #also like im not even gonna live in toronto after this summer #not that im moving that far away but id still have to gamble on the trains and buses not letting me down #esp if its a weekday when like ill have school and shit #id still do it dont get me wrong but its just so lame #again. im a fan right now #oh well. these things happen. serenity now

[deus-and-the-machina]

I definitely get being torn about TOH finale bc it was amazing in many areas and the crew worked so hard to get it all together so if there was something you didn’t like about it it’s a bit of a guilty feeling and whatnot, while also understanding that they couldn’t do all they wanted and stuff. I’m mostly just glad we can come together and celebrate this amazing show.

But I do find it annoying if someone goes “well if you didnt like this thing you just don’t get the themes and purposes” like. sometimes I do get what they were going for but it wasn’t to my liking ok. It having meaning does not mean it must be liked, and also maybe it doesn’t have a meaning, maybe it was just because Disney cut it short so they needed to wrap it up early and couldn’t elaborate. It’s ok to admit that.

Most of all I’m just so glad the crew was able to get it done after being sabotaged through everything

#mostly this is about them doing nothing else with belos' backstory and caleb and evelyn #I saw someone say 'why would they be relevant it happened so long ago and they're dead' idk because its our main antagonists motivation???? #and its never been properly shown or explained??? like if you weren't an online fan digging through backgrounds you might've never known #who Evelyn or even Caleb was. tho I feel you'd probably get hes belos' brother #like im torn bc I respect the team being like ok we have one more episode we're gonna focus on our main trio and wrapping it up #but the belos fight and lack of his backstory did feel a bit sad. and we can accept that parts of the story were missing its ok! as a fandom #we can fill in the gaps Disney didnt give them time to but we also need to accept that as much as we loved this big triumphant finale it #wasnt perfect because nothing is. thats what fandom is for its for expanding on the source material to our hearts content #I was also a bit disappointed the other kids didnt really get much to do or even muchspeaking but again it was clear they wanted to focus on #luz eda king bc thats our main trio and it would be weird not to at least finish their stories #the owl house #toh spoilers

[donghuamuqing]

Need byclair soooooo bad rn

#my post #bywheelcIairson …. my secret url ill never use bc miwism is TOO GOOD #also thank u for those who did the poll i think i might do a small series of two fics #the first being byler focused and the second having a time skip and a reunion and poly og party hints? #thats probably whats gonna happen