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writingwithcolor · 6 years

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Lao American, Child of an Immigrant

Hello–I’m half Lao, half White. My mom immigrated here from Laos in 1980, when she was around 8/9 years old.

Beauty Standards

A lot of Lao beauty standards are very Eurocentric (and thus colorist), due to the colonialism present at the time. Big eyes, pale skin, and small noses are desirable, all of which are not common to Lao. We have big, flat noses, light to dark brown skin (or mixed kids like me, who really good at tanning), and small eyes. The pale skin is the most harmful–things ranging from lighter makeup than natural to straight-up mild bleach in lotions or creams.

Food

In my opinion, Lao food is the best stuff on the planet. A lot of SE Asian food is similar, but not the same. However, I’ve found that the Lao and Thai have the spice kicked up to an 11. My mom is an amazing cook, having learned from her parents. Some of my favorite things to eat are laab, sticky rice, grilled chicken, mango sticky rice, papaya salad (literally the SPICIEST THING I HAVE EVER EATEN. No joke), eggrolls, springrolls, and my grandma’s homemade beef jerky.

One of the first things we’ll do, and I’ve found is true for most other Lao and Thai people I’ve met, is offer someone food if they’re over at our house. Hospitality, hospitality.

History

Laos is mainly a victim to geography and circumstance. Without an outlet to the sea, they’re pretty much cornered every time a conflict comes round. We’ve been colonized by the French, so recently that many of my grandpa’s formal papers are in French as well as Lao.

My personal family history is very interesting, too. Due to the political upheaval in Laos, caused by the Vietnam war and a load of other problems, my grandparents decided it was best to flee the country. All of their kids were born in Laos, and when they escaped, the youngest was two years old. They escaped in the night over the Mekong River into Thailand, risking death by drowning in the river, swollen by the Rainy Season, or being shot by both Lao and Thai border guards. They were in Thailand for several months, then sent to the Philippines, and after a year in refugee camps, finally arrived in California (where I was born). Because of how young they were when they left, my uncles and mom can’t read or write Lao, but they all speak it fluently. My grandparents lived there until this past year.

Home/Family life/Friendships

Family is important in Laos, but also pretty loose. “Family” could be anyone. People who grew up in the same village, or maybe old time friends, could be considered family. In fact, for ten years I grew up thinking that I had an extra set of second cousins when we weren’t even related at all. One of my great ??? grandparents had 11 children. My grandpa comes from a patchwork family with several different mothers, having at least 10 children.

Identity issues

Because of my Swedish last name, people know that I’m half white, half something else, but they usually can’t pin it down. I lived the first three years of my life in California, surrounded by my grandparents, uncles, and attended a Lao-speaking Christian church. When we moved to D.C., the Lao population was significantly lesser. There are lots of other ethnic groups here, making the diversity one of my favorite things about D.C., but very few Lao. Sometimes it feels like I’m not Asian enough to participate in spaces for PoC, like I’m intruding. But I also know that I’m not 100% white, and that being biracial makes me no less of either than the next.

Language

My parents both speak Lao, my mom because she was raised in it, and my dad because of his missionary work. He can read and write, and speak fairly well. None of us kids can speak, read, or write, but we can understand small bits and pieces and little phrases, but not enough for conversation.

Things I’d like to see less of

Biracial and Asian fetishism is definitely annoying.

In Asian circles, I’d like to see waaaaaay less colorism and antiblackness. Just because we’re also not white, doesn’t mean we get a free pass on racism toward other groups.

In Western media, I hate the white savior complex, “Smart Asian” stereotype, and blatant forms of racism (“ching chong” ring a bell?). Something more minor, but still annoying, is “can you say something in (insert language)?” because they’re usually wrong, and say Korean or Vietnamese (I’M NEITHER) and because that question is so painfully vague. I could call your mother a water buffalo, for all you know.

Things I’d like to see more of

SE Asian representation in general. We tend to be sidelined, or ignored. I wish there were more SE Asian creators out here, for us to finally have our spotlight.

#POC Profiles #Lao #Lao American #Southeast Asian #immigrant #immigration #mixed race #eurocentric beauty standards #Colorism #antiblackness #food #culture #family #identity #identity issues #language #representation #submission

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skamofcolor · 6 years

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I know you probably don't do discourse, but even after all the backlash with the whitewashing of sana and erasing mahdi, skam italia now had the even counterpart say the n-word in one of the clips 😬😬😬

Oh boooooooooooy lol.

My response became extremely long so I’m gonna put it under a Read More:

Okay, so I when I first heard this happened after the SkamIt clip dropped, I was thinking about doing a post on this here, but ultimately decided against it. I did post a bit about how ludicrous the situation was on my personal blog, though, lol. But since we’ve gotten an ask on it, and it’s been a few days so I’ve had time to collect my personal thoughts more, here’s a long post about the entire situation.

Context, for anyone who doesn’t know yet: In one of SkamIt’s latest clips (the og equivalent would be that scene in S3 where Isak and Even hang out, listen to rap, make food, smoke weed, etc. and then Isak discovers Even has a girlfriend) Italian!Even - Niccolò - says the n-word.

I actually did watch this scene to get a full idea of it, so here’s how the framing of it happens: Martino (Italian!Isak) and Niccolò are talking about music. Niccolò is like, “one of my fave artists is Earl Sweatshirt, let’s put some of his music on.” So he gets up to do that, and then goes back to the couch. They’re both holding these weird puppets that Niccolò owns, and Niccolò is like, “let’s play fight with the puppets.” As the opening line of the song comes on, he says something like, “let’s go, my n*gga.”

So this caused a bit of a fandom blow-up. Where on one side, there’s folks who aren’t horrible are rightfully mad that this show had a white boy said the n-word. And then… there are stans who have been using every excuse under the sun to defend it, including: this is Italian culture, this word has a different meaning everywhere except for English speaking countries, Americans have no right to be mad because this isn’t for them, and it’s only a word, who cares. The showrunner also put out a… charming… defense to the whole thing, which although it’s since been deleted off of Instagram, a kind Tumblr user has translated.

So this all being put out there, here are my personal thoughts on the matter: to be honest, I’m annoyed that Niccolò said it but that’s not my big issue. My big issue is that I hate the framing and consequent defense of it. Here’s what I mean by that:

1) Yes, white Europeans, the n-word, in all it’s forms, is a racial slur. No, it doesn’t fucking matter if it “means something different” in your country. And no - you can’t fucking say it.

First of all, I’m gonna have to call bullshit on it “meaning something different.”

A lot of the defense I’ve seen has been people claiming that it’s “U.S.-centric” to be mad that Niccolò said the n-word. And my response to that is… And So???? Lol?????

Look. The word comes from a U.S.-context. So you cannot have it both ways. You can’t talk about this word and claim in “means something different” in your country and then not want to talk about the ROOTS of it. If this word doesn’t come from your culture, then why are you so quick to defend it as part of your culture?

Furthermore, Italy is not free of systemic antiblackness. When Italy (as well as every other country in the world) has a derogatory term for Black people, has a history of colonization in African nations, and has seen an increase of violence and murder of Black people in this year alone? Y’all can’t pretend like just because this word is in English that it’s meaningless in a country full of racism, xenophobia, and antiblackness.

And if you’re trying to claim that Italian teenagers are using it willy nilly because they don’t know what it means… I just… I literally can’t believe that. I just can’t believe in this day and age that folks, even outside of the U.S., do not know what the word means or where it comes from. But what I do believe is that folks do know what it means, and yet don’t care. They appropriate it for themselves because everyone loves Black culture while simultaneously hating Black people. And that’s facts.

In a globalized world where specifically Black American culture is commodified and distributed like candy, you’d have to be living under a rock to not understand the violence behind this word. And if you are living under a rock… you never would’ve heard it in the first place.

(In case you are one of those living-under-a-rock people, there are a thousand and one articles on why it’s okay for Black people to say the n-word and why non-Black people shouldn’t. Here’s just one of those videos in case you didn’t know. The fact of the matter is, it’s not just a word. It’s violence. And regardless of if Black people wanna use it or not, that’s NOT up to anyone who’s not Black to decide.)

2) We have to remember that this is a FICTIONAL television show. And that every single thing that the characters do/say was CREATED by an actual human.

Okay, but fine.

Let’s go with the defense that white teenagers all over Italy are using a racial slur casually cause no one knows the violent context behind the n-word and it’s all in good fun (Sounds fake, but okay).

So Niccolò says it because that makes it realistic, and SkamIt is going for realism. Okay. Then the big issue of this isn’t that he said it; it’s the framing of it that it’s a-okay that he’s said it that’s my issue.

Because this all has to do with the SHOWRUNNERS, who are grown ass people, knowing the context and meaning of the n-word. Because as adults creating media for young people, I damn sure will be holding them responsible for what their characters say and do. And honestly? If non-Black teenagers in Italy are really running around saying the n-word with nary a care in the world, then it’s your duty as the adult to show why that’s wrong.

Including someone doing/saying racist things isn’t inherently bad, because I agree. It is realistic. But never showing a resolution to it or calling it out within the framing of your show just lets your audience know that A) you don’t care about People of Color and/or B) you don’t think the oppression we face is a big deal. And both, when you’re making a show for young people, is dangerous.

Because it perpetuates the idea that racism is okay or it’s not as bad, particularly when it’s done in a casual, “not intending to cause harm” kind of way. Racism isn’t always direct intentional malice; it can include anything that perpetuates the normalization of systemic oppression. Which was the big issue with how Julie portrayed Vilde’s racism all throughout og Skam but that’s another rant.

It would be one thing if Niccolò said it and Martino recoiled a bit or was like “bro, wtf?” But he doesn’t do any of that. Niccolò says it and then the two play with their puppets. And that’s the thing - I personally feel, that as a showrunner, if you’re going to depict the normalization of racial slurs (which you inherently do, when you have someone casually saying the n-word) then it’s your DUTY to frame it as bad. Because it is bad. Regardless of how “realistic” it is, it’s still racist as fuck. Again, especially because of the rise in xenophobia, racism, and specifically antiblackness in Italy.

But that brings us to Ludovico’s ridiculous statement, because it’s obvious that he doesn’t agree that using the n-word was at most racist as shit and at the very least, in bad taste. And his statement, altogether, shows a very basic lack of critical thinking and comprehension as to why what happened was not okay.

3) Ludovico’s reasoning for having Niccolò say the n-word, quite frankly, is bullshit and the most cringey white person thing I have ever read in my life, ever.

And I think by breaking down his… non-apology… this addresses a lot of the bullshit defenses that SkamIt’s stans have been throwing at folks, too.

“What is happening? Niccolò listens to American rap. He listens to Earl Sweatshirt. A black rapper. People who are criticising me, do they even know who this artist is? How does he look like? Do they know his father was a South African activist and politician? Do they know his lyrics and his thoughts? Do they know that in those lyrics he always talks about the black community’s condition? And when he does that, he uses that word, that word you’re all worrying about. Niccolò, who loves Earl, is singing one of his songs, like anyone would do with a song they like.

Oh, my God.

First of all, it’s… ironic for him to pull up Earl Sweatshirt’s lineage and his music in order to defend this white boy saying the n-word. Because not only was his father a Black South African activist who was raised during apartheid and then was exiled to the U.S., his mother is a Black law professor who specializes in critical race theory! This man… is really trying to say that someone who had these parents would celebrate a white boy… using a racial slur… let’s use some critical thinking…

Second of all, and I can’t believe I have to say this, a Black person reclaiming the n-word and using it conversationally or in their music is not the same as a non-Black person using it. If you’re not part of a marginalized group, you do not have a say in the conversation over using slurs within that group.

Earl deciding to use the n-word, particularly in order to talk about “the Black community’s condition,” has meaning. It has power, it’s reclaiming a tool of oppression. A white Italian - who a lot of people are claiming don’t know anything about the origins of the word and thus the plight of Black Americans - using it is, at best meaningless and at worse intentionally racist. Ludivico wrote Niccolò as a character who just loves Earl Sweatshirt so much. But he wrote him as a character that loves him just on the surface - just enough to think it’s okay to use this racial slur and to “understand” the message of violence against Black people but not enough to not use a derogatory word that is actual violence against his favorite artist. Sure.

Third of all, to me, it really didn’t seem like Niccolò was singing along to anything. He literally just says the line and then stops talking as him and Martino do their puppet fight. But that might be another argument, one that… is quite pointless. Because it would have cost him (Ludivico writing him) nothing to not say that line. To skip the n-word, to play a different song, to do literally anything else in that context. But it was, apparently, so central to Italian culture and so important for Niccolò to use this word that it had to be included. Alright.

Are we really trying to attack Skam Italia for something like this? Do you really think we’re racist or insensitive? After all we’re doing? After all the work we do every day so we can bring values and themes that - for now, in Italy - have always been touched in such a superficial way?

“After all we’re doing”

Ludivico, what exactly are you doing for Black people and other People of Color?

Like… he really fixed his wretched fingers and typed this out as if he literally had not made the choice to A) cast a white Non-Muslim woman to play literally one of the most iconic Muslim WoC in media history B) erase one of the few Black characters because “he didn’t have a large role,” instead of, you know, CREATING a larger role, as is his right, as a SHOWRUNNER WITH CREATIVE POWER, and casting a host of white boys instead C) has probably whitewashed their version of the Balloon Squad as well. Because yah - I’ve seen enough GIFsets of the “Martino watching a video of Niccolò playing piano” to see that there’s a bunch of white boys in the background laughing and joking with him. And it’s true; you can’t tell someone’s ethnicity by how they look. But the evidence so far is pretty damning.

This is all to say that this a show… that has consistently refused to work with People of Color across the board. Not only in hiring actors, but it’s obviously not hiring non-white crew members and refusing to engage with fans of color. His constant excuses about why PoC cannot be involved make zero sense. He acts as though these characters are sentient beings that he has no control over instead of fictionalized people, wherein he and the other showrunners have the power to cast whoever they want, make them say whatever they want, and make them do whatever they want.

And it’s obvious that him and his stans are the ones who are interacting with this entire situation is a superficial way. People who are calling it out, from what I’ve seen, are saying hey, this isn’t cool. Maybe we should have a nuanced dialogue for why this white Italian shouldn’t be saying the n-word. While he and his stans are crying white tears and saying this is our culture! Shut up if you don’t understand it!

In Salvini’s Italy, do you think that the main problem is a boy who loves American rap and sings a song with a word that people don’t like? Amazing.

This sarcastic deflection, I think, is exactly part of the problem. No one is saying that this is the end all and be all of racism in Italy. But using a word that is inextricably linked to physical, emotional, and spiritual violence is a part of the problem. It’s not “just a word”; it’s dehumanization. And that dehumanization of white people using it against Black people is exactly what has lead to issues in “Salvini’s Italy.”

The lyrics from American rap songs are full of inappropriate words. Shouldn’t we use them? The characters can sing them, but should they stop before that word?

That’s… no one is saying not to use Black music lmao. But literally exactly what people are asking for is to not have non-Black people saying the n-word. If you’re not Black DON’T SAY IT. Why is that so hard.

These attacks don’t hurt black people, because they are smart enough to be able to appreciate the fact that we’re giving space to a rapper who’s really good and pretty capable of talking about their condition.

The absolute condescension of this, honestly, makes me think that he has never interacted with a Black person in his life. Ever. And I’m not even trying to be funny.

Look. I’m not claiming to speak for all Black people, especially in a globalized world. Our diaspora is huge and complex due to our histories of enslavement, colonization, imperialism, and violence. I’m sure there are Black people who literally don’t care about white people singing/saying the n-word. I’m sure that the decontextualization of it makes a lot of folks think it’s no big deal. And that’s fine. But again - that’s an intracommunity issue.

To have this white Italian proclaim to speak for Black people - not only here but also in proclaiming to know what Earl Sweatshirt is and isn’t okay with - is another form of dehumanization. Because it’s a catch-22. If we’re “smart enough” to not be mad at this racial slur being used, then what does it mean for those of us who are mad? That we’re unintelligent? That we’re not focused enough on the “right issues”? Once again, the lack of critical thinking is astounding. As if folks can’t understand that this is a big deal along with other forms of violence that are being enacted.

But having this white boy say the n-word has nothing to do with “giving space” to Earl Sweatshirt or his art. It honestly just feels like a self-insert fantasy. It feels like a moment wherein these white people, once again, feel like they have claim to Black culture and language without having to reap any of the repercussions of that culture. And now once they’ve been called out, they want to be defensive. They don’t actually care about our communities or struggle. Idk how many ways I can say it but a marginalized person speaking truth to power and reclaiming a word is not the same as an oppressor using our language.

They hurt me. You don’t know how much.

Ahhhhhh, the icing on top of this shit cake.

Because this is the real root if it, isn’t it? Ludivico doesn’t like that he’s been called out. He doesn’t like that people are angry and that they have something to say about his racism. He doesn’t know how to just take the L and admit that he’s done something that’s messed up and has hurt people. Because in his mind, this is a personal attack.

This is… this is Vilde dropping out of the bus because everyone “hates her” after her obnoxiously racist and Islamophobic “Muslim gangster world” monologue. But the funny sad thing is, this is a grown man. This isn’t a fictionalized teenager who doesn’t know how to confront her own prejudice. This is the root of why I’m so annoyed; because once again, we have a white person centering their own feelings over the heart of the issue.

I’m sure I have more to say, lmao, but I am getting tired.

TLDR; IMO, Niccolò saying the n-word with no repercussions was bad and Ludivico’s obnoxious “explanation” only made it worse.

- mod Jennifer

#Anonymous #ask #answered ask #anti skamit #long post #meta

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