#and then making agravain the one to care the least when he dies...well...it is good...

[weakforarwen]

The Darkest Hour (Part 2)

This episode is considerably better than the previous one! Poor Lancelot. The entire episode he knew he was going to die. Sadly, Merlin and Arthur felt the same way. All three of them thought they’d die and I felt sorry for all of them. It must be terrifying knowing you’re walking into your death and no one can save you. Arthur looked so afraid. 

I felt bad for Merlin when he was hurt by the Dorocha. He looked so pitiful and small, yet still begged Arthur to take him with him. It was heartbreaking. Merlin’s biggest fear is Arthur dying away from him. Arthur felt so bad for Merlin too. That kind of loyalty might feel less like a blessing and more like a curse sometimes. Arthur keeps trying to die for people, yet Merlin almost died to save him and Lancelot actually did. It’s a heavy burden to carry. The knights and Merlin would do anything for Arthur, but Arthur just wants them to live. 

Lancelot’s death was definitely sad, but I also think Lancelot didn’t fit the dynamic of their group. Compared to the other knights, he was too proper and serious. He was also more loyal to Merlin than to Arthur. Gwaine had been the same, ‘til he became a knight and his friendship with Merlin all but disappeared. He didn’t even seem too upset when Merlin was attacked by the Dorocha...

Lancelot really was a “thorn” on Arthur’s side. He sacrificed himself when Arthur wanted to do it, rescued Gwen first in Lancelot and Guinevere, and Gwen even loved Lancelot before she loved Arthur. Lancelot also kinda stole Merlin away from Arthur and treated Merlin better. He even got to take Merlin back to Gaius like Arthur had wanted to. He was always “besting” Arthur in some way. But Lancelot had no self-esteem. He believed Arthur was the better man, and that, for that reason, he “deserved” Gwen more.

But there was no “better” man and feelings are complicated and unpredictable. Lancelot acted as if he’d let Arthur have Gwen and I find that so patronizing and unfair to Gwen (and to Arthur). What Gwen wanted didn’t matter at all, because Lancelot decided that Arthur was a better man so he deserved the girl, and not he. It wasn’t even about Gwen deserving the better man, but about which men deserved Gwen more... Who’s to say Gwen wouldn’t have fallen for Arthur anyway, had Lancelot stayed? And Gwen had a chance to choose Lancelot when he returned yet she didn’t. Or did Lancelot think he could’ve seduced her away from Arthur? Gwen deserved credit for her own feelings at least. Lancelot believed Gwen was happier with Arthur, but maybe he would’ve made her happier. Who knows? Point is, it wasn’t Lancelot’s choice to make. I don’t think Lancelot meant to be disrespectful, but self-pity and selflessness can look a lot like arrogance and go against everyone’s best interests. 

Poor Gwen... Lancelot told Merlin he’d made a promise to Gwen so he had to keep it, and Gwen will forever think she killed him. She was so devastated at his funeral. I liked that Arthur went to her and held her hand... The focus on their entwined hands was so beautiful. However, after she told him what she’d “done”, Arthur left her alone to mourn. That kind of upset me... He should’ve held her instead. That choice made it seem like he blamed her, even though he didn’t and touched her shoulder in sympathy before he left. It felt cruel that he left her alone to cry. But maybe he thought that was the right thing to do, that she needed time to herself and that his presence could do more harm than good because he was the reason Lancelot died. Maybe he needed to be alone as well, because of his own guilt. Maybe the writers just liked the imagery of her standing alone to mourn Lancelot, since Lancelot cared for her the most...

Still on Gwen, she proved this episode she’ll make a badass Queen. When Gaius was, predictably, too cowardly to oppose Agravaine, she stepped up. She asked the council to think of what Arthur would do, which was a smart approach since the council didn’t care about the wants of a servant, but they cared about their prince; and when that wasn’t enough, she argued that letting people inside the city would actually be profitable for them, another great argument since they cared about their own wealth and comfort the most. When Agravaine argued hers wasn’t a long-term plan, she straight up asked him if he thought Arthur would fail them. Gwen: 1 Agravaine: 0. 

But the slimy asshole had to go to Morgana about it. Neither can stand to let a “servant” get in their way. Joke’s on them, because they both die and Gwen lives and becomes Queen. 

Agravaine is such a creep. When he asked Gwen to go to his chambers to “discuss matters”, Gwen looked obviously uncomfortable. Yet she gave him the benefit of the doubt and looked so happy to get a chance to help her people and share her ideas. She was too bright and good to be just a servant - no offense whatsoever to servants. She was born to lead, even if she had to do it alone. In all the scenes she showed leadership, Arthur was naturally absent. In a way, those scenes foreshadowed Arthur’s death and Gwen’s reign; at the same time, there could only be one ruler, so those scenes showed Gwen’s potential away from Arthur. Gwen could only grow as a Queen if Arthur wasn’t around to have the final word. Even if Arthur valued her opinion, he overshadowed her, and Arthur was much too stubborn to boot. 

When Gwen was at Agravaine’s chambers, he at some point stood behind her and his hands almost went around her neck. I don’t know if he wanted to rape her or choke her. The plan had been for Morgana to “take care” of Gwen, but I guess Agravaine wanted the honor for himself. I can’t figure him out. He’s such a creep, anything he does around a woman feels sexual and gross. Did he want to fuck Morgana or was she like a daughter to him? Who knows.

Bonus Arwen: Arthur yet again told Merlin to look after Gwen because she deserved to be happy. Didn’t he use those exact words in a season 3 episode?

Bonus Merthur (do people use this ship name platonically?): When Lancelot and Merlin reunited with Arthur and the others everyone hugged Merlin except Arthur. He’s really so awkward and bad at showing affection. He slapped Merlin on the arm, as always, and because that wasn’t enough, he also ruffled his hair and put his arm around his shoulders... Dude’s a disaster. 

#bbc merlin #bbc arwen #merlin #lancelot #arthur pendragon #gwen pendragon #arwen #gwaine #the darkest hour commentary #the darkest hour

[itonje]

i always find it interesting that agravain is never invited to the king pellinore murder event nor really takes part in the blood feud that gawaine and gaheris seem so psyched on even though he’d probably take seniority over gaheris...however to be fair agravain almost. literally never kills people actually he tries to kill gaheris sometimes but he fails at that and also they’re siblings so like...he probably wouldn’t have anyways, modred helped with the murder of dinadan who was dying in the first place, in that weird story where gawaine like...kills palamedes because he’s racist or something agravain is actively discouraging him from doing so...and the part of the story where he gets in the blood feud is actively against gaheris for killing their mother u_u...agravain really said i legitimately do NOT care about my dad dying

#finny.txt #AND I SUPPORT HIM... #i know that like its probably coincidental but like a source giving agravain and lot a fraught relationship #and then making agravain the one to care the least when he dies...well...it is good... #arthuriana

[deborahdeshoftim5779]

BBC Merlin 4x05: His Father’s Son

Here's a round-up of my main observations from BBC Merlin's "His Father's Son" (4x05).

1- MERLIN AS A KNIGHT 

I have to admit that Merlin as a sorcerer and trusted adviser appeals to me the most, but I did write a lengthy post analysing how Arthur had turned Merlin into an excellent fighter. This refutes claims that Merlin gave more to Arthur than he received in return. 

At the beginning of 4x05, we see Merlin selected to play a new role: that of knight. How did this come about? Arthur Pendragon is best known for his skills as a warrior, but he deserves more credit for his military tactics. These destroy the popular yet false idea that he is unintelligent. More on the latter in a forthcoming post.  

One of Arthur’s favourite tactics is using decoys. Previous examples of him using decoys include: The Castle of Fyrien (3x07), when Arthur used Merlin as a decoy to entrap Cenred’s soldiers; Aithusa (4x04), when Arthur used himself as a decoy to get Sir Percival to safety; Arthur’s Bane Part 2 (5x02), when Arthur uses Merlin as a decoy to enrage the slave traders before they escape-- by far my favourite example. 

All things considered, I don’t think it takes long for Arthur to choose Merlin. Furthermore, this decision may have taken place before they reached their selected location, as Agravaine later mentions a previous attack by Caerleon on the border. This choice demonstrates that Arthur has higher confidence in Merlin's abilities than he does of in his knights-- else he would have chosen them. We must conclude that Merlin is Arthur's best fighter, though at first glance, we wonder why an unarmed man follows trained knights into battle. 

Merlin is sharp, fast, has high stamina, and is incredibly resourceful. Most of all, however, he is incredibly brave. In fact, when rewatching 1x02, I was surprised to see Arthur acknowledge that Merlin was "braver than you look." This despite Arthur’s frustration that Merlin did not try hard enough during practice ("Come on, Merlin: I've got a tournament to win!"). 

What’s more, in that same episode, Merlin complains about his first day, but later on, we see his fascination wth the ongoing tournament. Then he admitted to Gaius that working for Arthur (in the context of said tournament) "isn't totally horrible all the time." It took one day for him to change his opinion! 

Sure, Merlin would continue to treat the fighting as pointless violence, and Arthur as having nothing more in his head than a desire to knock "the seven bells" out of other people (3x04). However, even in 1x02, when he applauds Arthur's fighting, his actions tell a different story. We associate this habit of liking something whilst pretending otherwise to Arthur, yet Merlin has it as well. 

As I have said before, Merlin and Arthur have profound differences, yet are profoundly alike. 

2- MERLIN AS A SERVANT 

It comes as no surprise that Merlin would return to serving after the beginning of 4x05. However, what that change represents sets the tone for this entire episode: Arthur dismissing Merlin's counsel repeatedly in favour of listening to his uncle. 

When Arthur says, "so please, stick to what you do know," you have to wonder whether Merlin remembered being entrusted with the role of knight. Now, Arthur puts him back in his place. 

Here's another example: "My conscience is clean, which is more than I can say for my room, so just... do your job, will you?" Yet just yesterday, that job involved Merlin risking his life against enemy forces by dressing as a knight. 

By the way, you can tell that Arthur doesn’t believe his own excuses, because he keeps using the passive voice to justify killing Caerleon: “...a show of strength was necessary… an example had to be made… My conscience is clean…” 

Merlin’s face after Arthur claims he doesn’t need anyone is self-explanatory. 

3- NEW THOUGHTS ON ANNIS

Is Queen Annis a good person? Actually, no. 

First of all, she knows and approves of her husband invading foreign kingdoms to plunder their wealth. Such invasions naturally cost not only the lives of Arthur's men, but her own, too. 

Furthermore, despite accepting Arthur's offer of a fight by single combat, she is prepared to cheat by enlisting Morgana's power. Perhaps if Arthur had died, too, she would have felt some remorse. Yet she still takes a monumental risk with Arthur's life in blatant violation of the knight's code. One has to wonder about her reaction had Camelot plotted against her armies in the same way. 

Then we have Annis calmly ordering Merlin’s execution without giving him a chance to explain himself. The lack of emotion in her voice suggests she has done this before. 

Speaking of cruelty, Annis’ champion seems to enjoy inflicting pain on his enemies, yet the Queen claims that he “served my husband well.” I dread to think what she means by “served”. 

I will also note that Queen Annis disdains magic, referring to Morgana as “witch”. As I have said before, Uther did not begin prejudice against magic; sorcerers were disliked and feared elsewhere, too, including by those who disliked Uther. Many sorcerers caused this prejudice by engaging in manipulative, violent, and wicked deeds. 

Examples include High Priestesses using Fomorrohs to enslave people’s minds (4x06); Cornelius Sigan using his power to change day into night and acquire vast wealth (2x01); sorcerers using special blades to murder people (3x04), and so on.

None of this takes away from Annis’ complexity, nor does it undermine her immense humility when she accepts defeat and withdraws from Camelot. After all, much of Annis' rage and desire for vengeance stems from intense grief over Caerleon's death, so we can assume her marriage was a happy one. 

Forgiving the man who destroyed her domestic happiness (as well as leaving her people without a king) shows tremendous nobility on Annis’ part. I think Arthur sees that, for he is always humble and respectful before her. 

4- LONG LIVE THE KING 

Few people respect Arthur more than Merlin. So when he doesn’t join in with cries of “Long live the king!”, you know something is wrong. 

5- CONTROL YOUR FEAR 

Episode 4x03 has a hilarious scene where a drunk Arthur claims he isn’t even a little bit scared, because, “I’m a warrior. You learn to control your fear.” Then Arthur walks smack bang into a pillar. Never fails to make me laugh. Minus the drunkenness, Arthur was telling the truth about controlling his fear.

You can see this at least twice in this episode: first, when he sees how many men Annis has brought against Camelot, and secondly, when he sees the size of Annis’ giant. In both cases, Arthur harnesses his fear into determination, which is another sign of a great warrior. 

Next up, we have a fascinating scene where Arthur watches his men joking by the fire. It's a great way of showing Arthur’s care for these men, as well as his guilt that impending war will end their lives. In a sense, Arthur has to control his fear yet again. 

6- TRUST IN MERLIN 

After the above scene, Gwaine asks Merlin if Arthur is all right, and the fact that Merlin can describe Arthur's feelings without even questioning the King once again shows the unique nature of their friendship. Merlin sees Arthur's expression, and he just knows. And Gwaine knows that, hence why he does not question the King himself. 

Listen to the silence after Merlin's response. Nobody questions Merlin's judgement: they just reflect. Given the way Arthur has repeatedly dismissed Merlin's advance in favour of his uncle, I think he could have learned something from his own knights. 

I wonder whether the knights would ask Merlin something about Arthur in this way, whenever the king was absent. In ancient kingdoms, kings had advisers, and in order to earn the monarch's favour, you spoke to the latter first. Did Merlin ever play that role for the knights?

7- MERLIN’S IDIOCY 

Now, I have a problem with Merlin telling Arthur that 1)- he would have taken any other option but to face war with Annis, and 2)- his decision to kill Caerleon “was made in the best interests of Camelot.” 

Sorry, but it wasn’t. Merlin knows that. I understand that he has to rally Arthur’s spirits so that they can win against Annis, but I am glad that Arthur knows full well he has done wrong. Both Merlin and many fans do not give Arthur enough credit for recognising his own errors. 

However, even these foolishly optimistic statements pale in comparison to Merlin's reckless and self-righteous interference when Arthur negotiates with Queen Annis. I burst out laughing when he trips and falls headlong into the tent, a metaphor for his impetuousness.  

Merlin eavesdrops outside Annis’ tent, gets caught (so he didn't conceal himself), and then has the audacity to say, “Sorry about this!” to Arthur! Not only that, he got angry over being called a “simple-minded fool”, when he couldn’t even walk in a straight line to follow the king, got himself caught and almost killed by enemy soldiers, and made Arthur look as though he were double-crossing Annis! 

I completely agree with Arthur’s anger: “Oh, I was being kind, believe me: you almost got me killed in there!” Correct. Merlin simply could not trust that Arthur knew what he was doing, and decided to interfere. Instead of apologising for getting Arthur into trouble, Merlin remains on the defensive, claiming without evidence that Arthur was “doing a pretty good job of that yourself!” 

This is untrue. Arthur surrendered himself to Annis’ men. The most injury he received was a slap. He asked a favour. That isn’t risking your life. In fact, Arthur was trying to save lives, and if Merlin had been listening properly (or just stayed in bed), he would have seen that. Only after Merlin’s sudden entrance did Arthur face serious danger from Annis. 

Now, Merlin’s explanation for this is, “I’m your friend! I was looking out for you.” I don’t doubt it. But once again, Arthur is right: “I appreciate that in your very confused way, you’re only trying to help, but please: don’t do it again.”

Condescending? Of course. But this time it was Merlin who provoked him into this anger. 

8- MORGANA 

Despite all her power, Morgana still has to defer to non-magical kings and queens. After all, she requires their military assistance to take over Camelot. 

You can also see how Queen Annis detects Morgana’s hatred, greed, self-righteousness, hypocrisy, and bloodlust. In one glance, Queen Annis begins questioning the wisdom of working with a sorceress she does not trust, not least on account of Morgana being a sorceress. 

In fact, Arthur’s prowess as a warrior impresses her more: “You have as much to lose as I if Arthur wins…” Fascinating scene. 

9- THANK YOU, OLD FRIEND 

It’s ironic that arguably the best scene in 4x05 begins by showcasing Arthur’s cynicism. No guesses why Arthur did not tell Merlin about breaking off his relationship with Gwen earlier. That speaks volumes. If he had told Merlin, I think they would have had an argument similar to that of 4x11. 

Only when Arthur realises that he may die does he ask Merlin to pass his ring onto Gwen with an apology. You can see the guilt etched onto his face as he refuses to make eye contact. Interestingly, Merlin does not ask any further questions. 

Arthur’s entrusting Merlin to look after Gwen in the event of his death says a lot. For example, that ring is technically royal property, yet Arthur gives it to a servant for safe-keeping, rather than his next-of-kin, Agravaine. Despite claiming to need his uncle’s advice, Arthur will not trust Agravaine with such duties. Has Arthur made a medieval will or testament? Obviously, I have no idea, however, this episode already shows Arthur’s reliance on Merlin to deal with family matters. 

Another interesting aspect to this scene is Merlin’s silence after Arthur makes an indisputable point. This dispels any idea that Merlin’s advice was always correct. On several occasions, Merlin had to defer to Arthur’s judgement, because he saw the truth and wisdom behind it. “I don’t know what will happen. But for the first time since I became king, I know in my heart I’ve made the right decision.”

Got to love Arthur’s half-amused, “You’re not about to start crying on me, are you?” He expects Merlin to be either in good spirits or confident, because that is how he, too, remains confident. Arthur is an optimist, yet Merlin becomes a pessimist, so the king must pull Merlin together with light and yet serious teasing. 

Needless to say, Arthur calling Merlin “old friend” implies that they have been friends for a long time. So why do some fans still think that Arthur had trouble admitting that Merlin was his friend? Also, the word “old” in this context can imply reliability, constancy. Arthur chose that word to describe Merlin’s value, as well as the length of their friendship. 

The great thing about Arthur is that while he makes some serious errors, when he does repent, he does so well. Not only does Arthur graciously thank Merlin for his concern, but he makes it clear to Agravaine that he relies on Merlin’s judgement prior to entering battle. This supports my earlier statement that Merlin is Arthur’s best fighter, as well as right-hand man; Arthur does not leave for the fight until Merlin has confirmed his readiness. 

On top of this, Arthur later admits that he might be a cabbage head. “I should have listened to you, Merlin. Just this once, I think you were right-- even if you are the worst servant in the five kingdoms!” 

By implication, Agravaine is wrong. Arthur won’t say that, of course, but we saw Merlin’s sound advice competing with Agravaine’s lies for this entire episode. We can only conclude that regardless of what he says, Arthur trusts Merlin more than members of his own family. 

And this is a theme which will continue and grow for the remainder of Season 4. 

FURTHER POINTS:

Merlin’s fighting skills

Paradoxes of Arthur and Merlin’s friendship

#merlin #bbc merlin #arthur #king arthur #arthur pendragon #merlin & arthur #merlin & arthur friendship #merlin season 4 #merlin his father's son #merlin 4.05 #queen annis #caerleon #morgana #morgana pendragon #character analysis #plot analysis #merlin fandom #merlin characters #lord agravaine #arthurian legend #uther #king uther #uther pendragon #writeblr

[panharmonium]

nobility is defined by what you DO -

- not by who you are.

sO LET’S TALK ABOUT GWAINE

and specifically about how merlin reacts to him in this intro ep, because this is another of those episodes that has more stuff going on under the surface than merlin is able to articulate out loud.

i said in an earlier post that gwaine is the person in merlin’s circle who most closely approximates will’s audaciously unapologetic spirit of “good morning to MERLIN and MERLIN ONLY,” and on a rewatch, it’s apparent that this episode actually takes the parallels between those two characters way further than that.

what is it with you and nobles?  he doesn’t trust anyone of nobility.

my father was a knight, in caerleon’s army.  he died in battle. his father was killed, fighting for king cenred.

you saved his life / if i’d known who he was, i probably wouldn’t have. you just saved my life / yeah, don’t know what i was thinking!

arthur’s a thoroughbred little braggart. when i first met [arthur]...i thought he was pompous and arrogant / well, nothing’s changed there, then.

people get sick of me too quickly. they’re used to ignoring him.

you livened the place up. this place has been boring without you.

the first time merlin and gwaine meet, gwaine bum-rushes some dude trying to kill arthur and gets stabbed for his trouble, and then the first conversation merlin has with him after that is about how if gwaine had known who arthur was, he wouldn’t have bothered to help.

“he’s a noble,” gwaine says, by way of explanation.  and then later, when merlin says “arthur’s not like that,” gwaine replies, “maybe.  but none of them are worth dying for.”

i mean.  

merlin looks at gwaine and sees something he recognizes.  of course he goes ride or die for gwaine three seconds after meeting him.  of course he instantly gravitates towards him.  of course he feels reflexively affectionate for him; he can’t help it - he feels like he already knows him.  

gwaine isn’t just friendly and fun to merlin; he’s familiar. 

so familiar, in fact, that merlin, having known gwaine for a grand total of twenty-four hours, completely drops every single scrupulous precaution he’s supposed to be taking with regard to his private personal information and immediately dishes up all the dirty details of his father’s situation, despite the fact that NOBODY IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW ANY OF THAT STUFF.  

like - merlin keeps the dragonlord part a secret, at least, but the things he does say are dangerous enough on their own.  in 2.08, merlin straight up tells arthur that he’s never met his father, that he doesn’t even know who his father was.  and that’s the impression arthur is still carrying around.  if arthur were to somehow get wind of the fact that this isn’t the case - if the subject happened to pop up one day and a confused gwaine was like, “uhhh merlin told me his father served uther and was banished; he told me he met his father before the man died” - it would prompt more than a few awkward questions.  how would merlin even begin to explain that?  when is he supposed to have discovered his father’s identity, or met his father personally, or learned that his father had died, without arthur being somehow involved?  merlin works for arthur all day, every day, from dawn til dusk.  there’s no conceivable way something this momentous could have occurred outside of arthur’s notice.  

the whole thing looks suspicious as hell.  it’s a dangerous hole in merlin’s cover.  

and yet -

merlin can’t help himself.  he hears gwaine saying, ‘yeah, my dad was killed fighting one of the king’s stupid wars and then the king left me and mine for dead, so fuck the nobility, amirite?’ and merlin’s mind short-circuits.  he goes OH?!?!??? and then he immediately fumbles every single shred of common sense he’s ever had.  he word-vomits his dad’s story all over gwaine’s lap.  

it’s like - look, merlin hears that and reflexively thinks I KNOW YOU, and he blurts out the thing he hasn’t been able to say for a year.  he temporarily forgets that he isn’t safe, because he feels safe, around someone who feels like this, like someone he used to know, like the only friend he had who was safe, for him, like the only person who would’ve known enough about merlin’s personal history to even care about an update on his mysteriously missing father to begin with.  gwaine feels like the one person merlin has been wanting to tell about balinor in the first place.  the confession is automatic.  instinctive.  and it’s not like it’s a little one time slip-up, either; it’s a mistake merlin keeps making, because he talks to gwaine about it again, when they’re polishing the army’s boots for punishment work, and merlin is going on and on about how no, his father didn’t have servants, he didn’t have anybody; he died about a year ago, and merlin wishes he’d known him better; his father could have taught him so much - and he’s just sitting there scrubbing those shoes, talking about things nobody else knows and nobody else is supposed to know, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.  

and he should know better.  if any of the things he said to gwaine ever got back to arthur, merlin would be up the proverbial creek.  none of these things are things he should be saying out loud, to anybody.  to this day, that whole conversation is a ticking time bomb waiting to blow up in his face.

but gwaine feels familiar to him.  he forgets.  

i say it a lot, but merlin spent something close to the first two decades of his life being known and loved, undercover and in secret, by exactly two people.  the feeling, elusive and impossibly rare, of what it was like to be safe and accepted and understood - that was something he could only get from two people.  and when everyone and everywhere else was potentially deadly - the magnitude of those relationships can’t be overstated.  it just can’t.  

so when merlin sees echoes of them in somebody else, of course he trips over his own feet trying to get close to that as fast as he can.  of course he tries to convince gwaine to stay in camelot; he literally puts himself in between gwaine and the door at the end to stop him from leaving.  of course merlin begs arthur “oh, you’ve got to speak to [uther], arthur; make him change his mind.”  

and it’s sad, at the end, when gwaine has to go, but the nice thing about it, in this case, is that gwaine is totally worth merlin’s effort.  merlin is chasing the right guy.  gwaine is exactly the kind of person that merlin’s (mistaken, yet somehow still accurate) mental associations assume he must be.  more so than any of merlin’s other friends, gwaine is the one who ultimately proves most likely to dump everyone and drop everything in defense of merlin’s interests.  he’s the one most likely to flip prince arthur pendragon the bird.  he’s the only one who comes to help merlin when gaius is framed for treason in season 4, after arthur turns his back on merlin and the rest of the court buys agravaine’s lies. 

i love that about him.  merlin needs people like that in his life.  merlin deserves people who put him first.  

and gwaine, for his part, deserves to have friends who appreciate him, people who want him around, people who are sorry to see him go.  when he says “i never stay in one place too long - people get sick of me too quickly,” gwaine deserves to have someone like merlin, who will respond, immediately and sincerely: “i didn’t.”  

#meta #the once and future slowburn #you're the only friend i've got #no kings no masters #i love these two #like #apart from the unique and necessary support gwaine gives to merlin #merlin gives gwaine something too #gwaine keeps his personal history kind of on lockdown (as far as we know he NEVER tells arthur about his father) #but the great thing about merlin is that merlin just - already understands #merlin doesn't need gwaine to get into it any more than he already has #merlin knows perfectly well how gwaine feels about certain things #and gwaine doesn't have to explain it further; merlin is just like 'oh don't worry i get that ish. trust me; i am WELL familiar' #merlin settles into friendship with gwaine like they've known each other for years #and there's a reason for that #they have; in a way

[aftercamlann]

After Camlann Big Bang 2019 Masterlist

Thank you to all our wonderful writers, artists, beta readers and hype readers who participated in this years After Camlann Big Bang! We hope you will consider participating again this year! Below is the final masterlist for After Camlann 2019:

Title: Arthur in Avalon Author: harlequin aka slashweaver Artist: altocello Pairings/Characters: Arthur/Guinevere (background), Elyan/Niamh, Arthur/Lancelot, Arthur/Merlin (endgame); Arthur, Niamh and Orlaith (original characters, both Sidhe), Lancelot, Freya, Elyan, Gaius, Merlin Rating: Explicit Word count: 29,000 Summary: Arthur died in Merlin’s arms, and he’d thought that was the end of his story – but then he wakes up in agony in Avalon, as the Sidhe remove Mordred’s sword-point from his flesh. Soon Arthur is convalescing, and befriending Niamh, daughter of the Sidhe Queen Orlaith. He meets up with other old friends in Avalon, too, who find contentment in this place, but Arthur can never quite settle. He wants to return to the mortal world and continue his work. Orlaith tells him that’s possible – but first the Sidhe want something in return for healing him.

Story is here | Art is here | Reblog on Tumblr here

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Title: Mock the Time Author: seaweed-is-cool Artist: valika56 Pairings/Characters: Arthur/Guinevere (canon), Arthur/Merlin, Merlin, Arthur, Guinevere, Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Elyan, Mordred, Morgana, Aithusa, Nusar (OC), Daegal, Gaius Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 49,905 Summary: Magic has returned to Camelot in all its glory in the hope that one day Merlin may return. Three years after his banishment (that only lasted three days truth be told), Merlin does so but appears to be a changed man. Yet appearances can be deceiving. Although Merlin may be familiar to the prospect of treason whilst under the thumb of the usurper of Essetir, the question remains whether he'll be able to betray his destiny. Whether he'll be able to betray the man that he loves. Post S4 AU

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Title: A single man in possession of a good fortune Author: slantedknitting Artist: @merlocked18 Pairings/Characters: Arthur/Merlin, Arthur/Mithian, Arthur/Elena, Arthur/Gwaine, Arthur/Others, Arthur, Merlin, Mithian, Elena, Gwaine, Percy, Mordred, Sophia, Vivian, Gwen, Leon, Kilgharrah, Uther, Morgana, Hunith Rating: Explicit Word count: 44,000 Summary: Arthur is the first openly bisexual Leading Man on the popular dating show, Most Eligible, where he’s meant to find his one true love—and get engaged. He comes to the show with the goal of finding a wife, but he still has to date all of the male contestants. And one of them, a certain Merlin, keeps making it harder and harder to stick to his original plans. Arthur knows what he wants though, and he’s pretty such it’s Mithian. Or is it Elena? Could it be Gwaine? Maybe it’s actually Merlin after all? What a pickle.

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Title: Counterfeit Princess Author: JessicaMDawn / Artist: delicious-irony Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Lancelot; Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, Gwen, Gwaine, Gaius, Lancelot, Will, Agravaine, etc. Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 33,570 Summary: Morgana le Fay is Duchess of Ealdor, a moderately sized city in the kingdom of Albion. Her two best friends are Gwen, her handmaid, and Merlin, the physician’s assistant. One day news arrives that Prince Arthur is coming to town to meet her, but why? When Morgana goes missing the day before Prince Arthur arrives, Gwen approaches Merlin with an idea: Merlin can pretend to be Morgana until the Lady is found. The idea is ludicrous - not least of all because Merlin is a man - but with a little bit of magic it might actually work. The plan starts out well, with Morgana’s guard out searching for her while Merlin distracts the prince…except that Merlin finds himself falling in love with Arthur, who is visiting with the intention of making Morgana his queen. A gender bending fairy tale fic.

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Title: The Prat Whisperer Author: bunnysworld Artist: lfb72 Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Gwaine/Percy, Morgana, Leon, Aggravaine, some minor OCs and a horse Rating: Explicit Word count: 44,260 Summary: Arthur buys a beautiful stallion that turns out to be un-ride-able. Morgana convinces him to seek help from a horse whisperer. Arthur doesn't believe in such stuff, but he's at his wit's end, so he allows Morgana to make the call. Merlin and his crew come to Camelot Estates to help a horse in need. Will he be able to whisper to the horse? And probably its owner, too?

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Title: Of Lions, Foxes and Bears Author: Szpurka Artist: Chikynosora Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Will, Hunith, Gwaine, Jarl Rating: Explicit Word count: 43,472 Summary: Five years ago in The Great War Against Sorcery Prince Arthur went missing in the middle of a battlefield. WIth King Uther’s untimely death a few months later, the war ended. Then Agravaine (late Ygraine’s younger brother) has settled on the throne of Camelot, seemingly a friend of all things magic. Now, a wounded unconscious man emerges from the lake near Ealdor, where Merlin does his laundry. Merlin’s fascination with the man pushes him right into the heart of an intrigue he never dreamed of, filled with revenge, politics and adventures. He also learns more about himself, his powers and his destiny, all the while trying to help keep his heart from being corrupted by blood and war.

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Title: Travel far enough, you’ll meet yourself Author: slantedknitting Artist: @schweet_heart Pairings/Characters: Arthur/Merlin, Arthur/Mithian, Arthur, Merlin, Mithian, Elena, Gwaine, Gwen, Lancelot, Kilgharrah, Gaius, Hunith Rating: Explicit Word count: 31,000 Summary: Merlin has his father’s journals and spell books, but he wants a deeper connection to the history of magic in his family, so he studies abroad in Estonia where his father used to live. There, he meets Arthur, who seems to be coming under attack from mysterious people in Tallinn. Merlin’s never been very good at wielding his own magic, but it starts working with him more and more as he uses it to protect himself—and to protect Arthur. Too bad Arthur is a standoffish prat who probably doesn’t deserve the help, but Merlin’s magic doesn’t seem to mind.

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Title: draíocht Author: amuk Artist: Nivelle Pairings/Characters: Arthur/Gwen, Merlin, Lancelot, Gwaine, Tristan, Morgana, Mordred, Percival, Leon, Elyan Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 27,000 Summary: Arthur will return, at a time of great need. Well, the king had returned, along with all of his knights, but Merlin wasn't quite clear about the 'great need' part. Maybe it was the fact that Morgana and Morded had returned too, proving it wasn't just the good who got reincarnated. Or maybe it was just Arthur's great need, since Gwen might have returned but she didn't seem to care for him much. Or maybe the great need was the headache forming in Merlin's forehead and all he really needed as an aspirin.

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Title: A Dream Doesn’t Become Reality Through Magic Author: violeteyedhair Artist: siennavie Pairings/Characters: Gwaine/Merlin, Arthur/Gwen, Percival, Gaius, Nimueh Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 26,000 Summary: When Gwaine finds Merlin unconscious, he can’t help but follow the man he loves into a strange, enchanted dream world where the Purge never happened and Merlin’s magic is celebrated. He has to convince Merlin that returning to a world where he hides his magic is somehow best. They then uncover the source of the enchantment, and that Arthur, too, has been trapped in a dream, along with everyone else. And to make matters worse, all of this is getting in the way of his courtship with Merlin, which is horribly troublesome and not exactly going as planned…

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Title: War of Attrition Author: DLanaDHZ Artist: Lefayeart Pairings/Characters: endgame Merlin/Arthur, early Merlin/Gwaine, Lancelot/Gwen, Gaius, Hunith, Uther, brief appearances by Will and Elyan. Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 36,818 Summary: Moving to a new university to live closer to his mother, who has had a recent health scare, really shouldn't be this difficult. However, Merlin's new roommate, Arthur Pendragon, is determined to force Merlin to move out before he's even moved in! A prank war ensures, personal items go missing, and parties are minefields. Merlin's dorm life royally sucks, but not everything is terrible at school. He's got some new friends, including the sweet Gwen, and there's a sexy footballer named Gwaine who's too suave for his own good. Anything can happen in college, even going from enemies to friends to... more? Man, feelings are complicated.

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Title: Sea Change Author: fictionista654 Artist: mistbornhero Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Freya/Nimueh, Arthur Pendragon, Merlin, Freya, Nimueh Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 50,816 Summary: Ever since his mother died in a boat crash two years ago, Arthur Pendragon has been wracked with guilt and grief. His one touchstone is an online novel called The Ladies of the Lake. When Arthur sends the author Dragoon the Great a complimentary email, it sparks an online friendship. In his emails to Dragoon, Arthur can pretend that his life isn’t a total disaster. In reality, his therapist is forcing him to spend the summer in the beach town where his mother died. There he meets and falls in love with the completely weird, utterly lovable Merlin. But Merlin has his own baggage, which threatens to destroy their burgeoning relationship.

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Title: A Window in Time Author: Ivalee Artist: aarins_rou / brolinskeep Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Morgana, Gwen, Gwaine Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 29,676 Summary: Geophysicist, Arthur Pendragon, receives a grant from his sister's company for a research venture in a newly discovered cave. His first day on the project, Arthur follows a mysterious voice into a small cavern. He finds himself talking with Merlin, who claims to be a sorcerer from the 14th century. Arthur becomes so enamored with his new friend that he won't leave the cave, which naturally concerns his sister, and not just because she needs his research to increase profits. When Merlin is captured for using magic, Arthur is desperate to rescue him, but how can he help someone 700 years in the past?

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Title: Vârcolac Author: rotrude Artist: lfb72 Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur; minor Gwen/Daegal Rating: Explicit Word count: 44,000 Summary: 1740, Young Queen Maria Theresa of Austria sends Hauptmann Arthur Pendrachen and Leutnant Oberarzt Merlin Emriß to Transylvania, currently belonging to the Austrian Crown, with the task of dissuading the locals from believing in legends and myths that are archaic, provincial and frankly absurd. This is the Century of Philosphers, the Age of Enlightment and the state must spread rationality and scientific thinking all around! In short Pendrachen and Emriß are to drive some sense into those credulous peasants who still believe in the undead, also known as vârcolaci, moroi -- vampires. It all starts to plan, but their journey journey ends up being fraught with less Enlightment and more peril than they'd wagered for.

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Title: Lay Your Head Down on the Shoulder of a Good Friend Author: skitz_phenom Artist: siennavie Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Uther, Ygraine, Balinor, Hunith, Leon, Elyan, Lancelot, Percival, Gwaine, Guinevere, Gaius, Kilgharrah, Nimueh, addt’l Rating: Explicit Word count: 97,000 Summary: With Camelot readying for the upcoming gathering of rulers of the Southern Kingdoms to discuss peace, Uther has tasked Arthur with an additional duty: befriend the Prince of Essetir and learn anything he can of King Balinor, and of magic, and of dragons, that might be of interest should the treaty not succeed. That's easier said than done, as he and Prince Merlin don't exactly hit it off immediately. But, befriending Merlin and learning of magic and life in Essetir leads Arthur down the paths of discovering long held secrets surrounding his own birth, and his mother's ill health, and his father's hatred of all things magic. Adding even more complications to the mix are rowdy knights, frustrating princesses, a possible traitor in their midst, and an overly-verbose dragon; not to mention the burgeoning and peculiar feelings for his fellow prince that Arthur struggles to put a name to.

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Title: Gladiator Author: @clea2011 Artist: lfb72 Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur Rating: Mature Word count: 115,000 Summary: When Cenred and his army of sorcerers conquer Camelot, Arthur loses everything. His home, his kingdom, his father, his sister… all are taken from him and he's forced to fight for his life for public entertainment. Thrown in with strangers, Arthur makes new friends and dangerous enemies. He knows he’s probably living on borrowed time but one man and a baby dragon just might make a difference - if he can survive his next fight.

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Title: Take Us Back Author: sdewan6 Pairings/Characters: Merlin/Arthur, Gwen/Morgana, Leon/Percival Rating: Teen and Up Word count: 28,000 Summary: All of Arthur's and Merlin's friends are dead (Gwen, Elyan, Gwaine) or dying (Gaius). They fight themselves to move past it as other kingdoms circle greedily to take advantage of their weakened state after the war with Morgana. And while Leon and Percival grow closer, Merlin and Arthur drift apart for the king struggles to accept Merlin's magic. And, to make everything worse, Merlin gets kidnapped just as all his magic runs out. Great. Just great.

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#after camlann big bang #acbb #bbc merlin #merlin fanfic #merlin fanart

[dawnknighted]

drabble . ( cw for violence, death, dread etc ) yes this is the drabble about din’s last moments.

the pain is sharp. it reminds him why he hates battle, why he hates being wounded and wounding others. he looks down at the sword protruding from his chest - he knows that weapon well, has seen it many times and has fought by its side. he wants to say something but the weapon is violently yanked out of his body, making him stumble for a couple of steps until he is kicked to the ground.

trying to turn his head, he can only vaguely see the shape of agravaine above him. “nothing to say anymore? no songs? no further jokes like the other day?” dinadan’s eyes widen, realizing now why agravaine has decided to kill him... all for that idiotic joke he had made about lamorak. he wants to say something - his first instinct is to apologize, because he is rather good at that - but he cannot. instead blood fills his lungs, spilling from his lips. he cannot speak. he cannot explain that his jokes had not been good ever since tristan died, that he should have been more thoughtful.

...but he cannot speak and agravaine does not care to listen anyway. as if the other knight has already forgotten about the dying man’s presence, he cleans his sword and walks away, leaving dinadan on the ground. he tries reaching out, tries to grab the other’s boot, a voice in his head yelling ‘please. please at least stay.’

dinadan does manage to turn on his back, staring up at the dark sky and the rain that falls down, mixing with the blood that pours out of him. tears stream down his face and he tries to open his mouth again - to sing, to yell. if he could not scream for help... he’d just need to get a little melody out, then some animals might join him. then he would not be alone. 

but agravaine took from him the one thing dinadan ever thought might make him someone not worthless : his voice. it had been his greatest gift to make people laugh, to make them listen to his songs.

...when he had been little, it had been snarky remarks that had gained him tristan’s friendship. two children from fathers who hated each other, but when other children made fun of tristan, dinadan had pranked them and added words to insult. after that he and tristan had been best friends.

he had even followed him to arthur’s court, thinking he would just turn the king down and become a bard. but instead he had fallen for the idea of what camelot could be. those were his happiest days, traveling with the other knights, making them laugh... and then, tristan and iseult took those love potions.

and dinadan had lost his best friend. the other would look at him as if he could not truly see, any song or poem was only about her and he could not care to listen to others. but dinadan simply stayed by his side. the only time he had ever left tristan alone for a longer time was after daniel’s death.

he could still remember when he was told. he remembers lancelot’s expression when he realized the knight he had killed was dinadan’s brother. he had excused himself, had tried to smile and say ‘it’s alright lancelot. this is the life of a knight. you had your reasons’ and then he walked to his room in camelot. he had cried for hours until he fell asleep. he only came out when he heard his little brother’s screams, when he demanded to fight whoever killed daniel. he had hurried to him, had to pull him away and ignore the mocking words as people noticed the awful looking coat on brunor - their father’s coat, a reminder that brunor had sworn to kill whoever had killed that man too -...

his father. huh. he had not thought about that man in a while. what would he think? the eldest son killed by another knight, the middle one killed by comrades. certainly brunor senior would have cared if he had been able to see them while he had still been sane. but years of imprisonment in an enemy’s castle had twisted his father for those last years until his death. his poor younger brother... he would now truly be the last of their family.

and least brunor had forgiven him before the grail quest. for years they had not spoken after daniel’s death, brunor too angry at dinadan for choosing the round table, for choosing to forgive lancelot. he’d do anything to return to those days when daniel would study while dinadan would tell brunor the most magical stories. when they had been nothing but children.

still staring at the sky, dinadan cannot help but wonder if such a thing as heaven existed. would he see his family again? his parents? his brother? tristan? a bitter thought dwells in him... none of them had died alone. and he feels nothing but jealousy.

jealousy and fear. his body tries to move, tries to do anything. but his vision begins to fade, the grip of his hands weakens. he tries to scream again, but all that escapes him are gurgling sounds. he doesn’t want to die, not like this, not now. he has forgotten about the beauty of the world, for a while he has drowned in its ugliness.

and he hates it. he hates it all. hates that he fell for arthur’s ideals. hates for loving everyone, but never finding love himself. hates for being a disposable friend. in that moment he felt nothing but burning hatred for the world. for all it did to him - all the pain, all the sadness... by every god he knew, all he ever wanted was to make people laugh.

he curses the world, curses camelot for how much pain it has brought. but besides hatred, there is another feeling : fear. true and utter fear. not the same as when he is in battle, when he has something to fight for. but just the primal fear of dying by himself.  hands grasp the earth, tear grass as he miserably tries to fight something none can fight.

            it hurts, it hurts so much! please I don’t want to be alone, please anyone... I don’t want to die...

#✴ — ooc post ˖ ˚ / ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢʰᵘᵗ ᵘᵖ ᵛᶦᵛ . #✴ — about ˖ ˚ / ᵒᶠ ˢᵒⁿᵍᵇᶦʳᵈˢ & ᵏⁿᶦᵍʰᵗˢ . #✴ — musings ˖ ˚ / ʳᵉᵇᵉᶜ ᶦⁿ ʰᵃⁿᵈ & ˢᵘⁿˡᶦᵍʰᵗ ᶦⁿ ʸᵒᵘʳ ʰᵃᶦʳ . #death cw #blood cw #long post cw #violence cw