#anti hobo johnson

[possumteeths]

Music tag game thingy, tagged by @ladyflaggermus

Rule: shuffle your playlist. List the first 10 songs then tag 10 people.

Im just gonna use my liked songs on spotify on random cause i have too many playlists.

1. I Felt Your Shape by The Microphones

2. The Start Of Something by Voxtrot

3. Take it all Away by Cake

4. Cancer by MCR

5. Don’t Remind Me by Car Seat Headrest

6. Frankly Mr. Shankly by The Smiths

7. Get Disowned by Hop Along

8. Feb 15th by Hobo Johnson

9. Epilogue by The Antlers

10. Canción De Pop De Amor by Cariño

tagging: @some27-url @jennifercheckplease @vivisect @misseffect @obligatedcupid1 @secretcherimaybe @theloganbrand @anti-climactic okay that’s 8 people im already feeling annoying imma not do the full ten lol

#all of this is like primo indie circlejerk bfekfnkenf

[creamiest-corn]

Hobo Johnson will write an actual line about his bacne and y'all are like

#anti hobo johnson #sorry? #maybe not anti #hobo johnson #i think it's funny

[han-solo-cant-dance]

Rant

No offense but I don’t get the hype about Hobo Johnson? The music all sounds the same and it’s like the stuff I’d write in my cringey middle school days for songs and poetry. It’s just cringey and I really don’t know how people think it’s good. I get that the emotion he shows is wow but there has to be more for me. Everyone on my Facebook is like “a genius. Amazing. This is the best music I’ve ever heard. “ and I’m just like ??????? Anyways, rant over.

#anti hobo johnson #not choices #rant #personal rant #music

[antisocialmusicclub]

Hobo Johnson // Creve Coeur 1

She holds her breath all day and fucking gasps for air at night She promised she would love me for only 'til the morning time The more that I engage in it, the more that I am mortified That I'm like every other shitty guy

#hobo johnson #song of the day #day 266 #anti social music club #anti social music blog

[notag0th]

How am I doing?

So great I saw Hobo Johnson this evening but then I cried when I got home and couldn't find my anti depressants that were right next to me 10/10

#big sad #hobo johnson

[onestowatch]

Your Definitive Fall Concert Calendar | 50 Tours Not to Miss

Fall has officially arrived. As the scent of pumpkin spice wafts through the air and leaves change to miraculous hues of red, orange, and yellow, team Ones To Watch is preparing to celebrate the coming of fall the only way we know how: seeing concerts until we drop. Arguably the busiest season for not-to-miss concerts, no matter where you may find yourself, chances are that a show is not too far off. But where exactly do you start? Well, assuming you didn’t accidentally click on this article, here. 

We have rounded up our choice of 50 not-to-miss tours that will be hitting a city near you. From BROCKHAMPTON to Lizzo, these are the shows you will be happy to rack up some credit card debt for. 

BROCKHAMPTON w/slowthai

Genre: America’s favorite boyband

Grab tickets!

Ashe w/ Charlie Burg and Gavin Haley

Genre: Timeless songwriting with a vintage tint

Grab tickets!

Lizzo

Genre: A necessary boost of self-confidence 

Grab tickets!

Conan Gray w/ UMI and BENEE

Genre: Bedroom pop that will have you yearning and lamenting for your school days

Grab tickets!

Cautious Clay

Genre: A dark and engrossing mix of R&B, hip-hop, and experimental indie

Grab tickets!

Dominic Fike w/ Deb Never

Genre: A pop and hip-hop amalgamation that is constantly ahead of the curve

Grab tickets!

Matt Maeson

Genre: Raw soul-baring songwriting that tackles inner-demons 

Grab tickets!

Lil Tecca

Genre: Viral rap coming at you IRL

Grab tickets!

Scarypoolparty

Genre: Jaw-dropping finger dexterity paired with the voice of an angel

Grab tickets!

Rich Brian

Genre: Hip-hop out of Indonesia that is leaving its mark on the West

Grab tickets!

FINNEAS w/ Lauren Sanderson

Genre: Undeniably beautiful songwriting matched by equally breathtaking production

Grab tickets!

Oliver Tree

Genre: An outright alien mix of hip-hop, indie pop, and alternative?

Grab tickets!

Clairo w/ beabadoobee and Hello Yello

Genre: Bedroom pop turned critically-acclaimed indie rock

Grab tickets!

flor

Genre: Anthemic alternative pop in search of human connection

Grab tickets!

Kim Petras

Genre: Iridescent pop that will have you shouting woo-ah!  

Grab tickets!

Alec Benjamin

Genre: Storied sonic worlds narrated by a budding songwriting genius

Grab tickets!

The Faim and Stand Atlantic

Genre: Electrifying pop-punk that will have you crying in the pit

Grab tickets!

Greyson Chance

Genre: Reflective electronic-fueled pop 

Grab tickets!

EARTHGANG

Genre: The second coming of Outkast

Grab tickets!

girl in red w/ Isaac Dunbar

Genre: Our rainbow flag-waving anti-pop star of 2019

Grab tickets!

Mahalia

Genre: Infectious R&B that will have you no longer missing your ex

Grab tickets!

Avril Lavigne w/ Jagwar Twin

Genre: The reason for too many trips to Hot Topic

Grab tickets!

dodie

Genre: Sweet, emotionally-candid indie pop that will bring a tear to your eye and smile to your face

Grab tickets!

Emotional Oranges

Genre: Enigmatic R&B prime for juice and fruit-related puns

Grab tickets!

grandson

Genre: Electronic-fueled rock with a salient and pressing message

Grab tickets!

Jack Harlow

Genre: Proof that Kentucky is on the map for both their fried chicken and enterprising rappers

Grab tickets!

Slow Hollows

Genre: Immersive indie rock fronted by a YSL and Tyler, the Creator–approved model

Grab tickets!

Gus Dapperton

Genre: An intoxicating blend of ‘60s soft-rock, R&B, ‘70s psych, ‘80s new wave, and anti-pop

Grab tickets!

Cavetown

Genre: Arresting, beautiful, and heartbreaking indie folk

Grab tickets!

mxmtoon

Genre: “rhyming diary entries” that will whisk you away to another world

Grab tickets!

Bad Suns w/ Liily and Ultra Q

Genre: A testament to the guitar-driven rock bands of yore

Grab tickets!

Lauv w/ bülow, Chelsea Cutler, and Carlie Hanson

Genre: Atmospheric and empathic pop that belies its indie roots

Grab tickets!

Sam Fender

Genre: An enthralling scope of indie rock and Britpop to welcome the end of the world

Grab tickets!

Hobo Johnson & The Lovemakers

Genre: Spoken words hip-hop meets alternative at the cross street of NPR’s Tiny Desk

Grab tickets!

Still Woozy

Genre: If sun-soaked anti-pop and otherworldly R&B had a brilliant jam-making baby

Grab tickets!

Chris Lane

Genre: Contemporary country inspired by R&B and true love

Grab tickets!

Yungblud

Genre: Proof that punk is alive and well

Grab tickets!

Jade Bird

Genre: Breathtaking British voice weaving captivating tales well beyond her years

Grab tickets!

The Dead South

Genre: What we wished scored the entirety of Red Dead Redemption ��

Grab tickets!

Cigarettes After Sex

Genre: Their music sounds like what their name entails

Grab tickets!

The Band CAMINO

Genre: Your mom’s favorite band

Grab tickets!

Omar Apollo with/ Dijon, Silver Sphere, Alexander 23, and Shay Lia

Genre: DIY musical prodigy whose Spanish and English–sung bedroom rock melts hearts

Grab tickets!

Maggie Rogers

Genre: A fusion of folk, dance, and R&B that is good enough to make Pharrell cry

Grab tickets!

Kikagaku Moyo

Genre: Psychedelic rock straight out of Japan

Grab tickets!

Sasha Sloan

Genre: The tales of an emo pop star in the making

Grab tickets!

Steve Lacy

Genre: The perfect kind of music to make love to

Grab tickets!

Charlotte Lawrence

Genre: Glimmering pop with a dark edge

Grab tickets!

Summer Walker

Genre: Tried-and-true R&B that is Drake-approved

Grab tickets!

POLO & PAN

Genre: Dance music that will take you on a sonic trip across the world

Grab tickets!

COIN w/ Dayglow

Genre: Sublimely catchy alternative pop

Grab tickets!

#coin #summer walker #charlotte lawrence #steve lacy #sasha sloan #maggie rogers #omar apollo #the band camino #cautious clay #ashe #lauren sanderson #jade bird #yungblud #lizzo #flor #kim petras #the faim #alec benjamin #conan gray #benee #matt maeson #dominic fike #finneas #umi #alexander 23 #scarypoolparty #girl in red #still woozy #sam fender #grandson

[stepdownonhell]

Questions, questions

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? A:I’m fine with my height:) 2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) A: A ferret  3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? A: Grunge/Indie. Or basic white bitch 4: What was your favorite video game growing up? A:Can’t remember  5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: My hawt bf, a certain amazing, gorgeous girl that’s my cute lil rabbit ♥, and my future. 6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? A: “Warning asshole” 7: What is your opinion on Trump]? A: Kill it.  8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] A: Sometimes Sanguine (Rarely tho lmao. working on it sh) But Phlegmatic mostly.  9: Are you ticklish? A: Uhhhh..no? 10: Are you allergic to anything? A: Cute rats. sad.

11: What’s your sexuality? A: Pansexual (save the pan jokes) 12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? A: Coffee  13: Are you a cat or dog person? A: Dog 14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? A: A very tall elf. 15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? A: Zane Hijazi 16: How tall are you? A: 5′10 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? A: Octavia 18: How much do you weigh? A: Too much. 19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? A: Yes 20: Do you like space or the ocean more? A: Space. 21: Are you religious? A: Religion? What’s that? 22: Pet peeves? A: Everything a human can do with their nails. flick flick  23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal? A: Who doesn’t wanna be a vampire? 24: Favorite constellation? A: Aquarius  25: Favorite star?  A: Sirius 26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? A: No 27: Any phobias or fears? A: Spiders 28: Do you think global warming is real? A: Maybe? 29: Do you believe in reincarnation? A: Depends 30: Favorite movie? A: Love, Simon 31: Do you get scared easily? A: Naaah 32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? A: 15 33: Who do you hate most? A: Um, trump and a certain some one. 34: What is a color that calms you? A: Yellow 35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? A: I would like to travel to the UK(And live there but..) I would wanna live in Cali.  36: Where were you born? A: A very cold place. 37: What is your eye color? A: Dark brown 38: Introvert or extrovert? A: Introvert. Why do you think I’m on tumblr? 39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? A: Yeah boy. 40: Hugs or kisses? A: Um neither, gross. 41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? A: My love 42: Who is someone you love deeply? A: My sweet boi 43: Any piercings you want? A: My septum plz. I need her back in my life 44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? A: Yes 45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? A: I don’t smoke, but I have ew. 46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! A: I gots a mans honey 47: What is a sound you really hate? A: NAIL FLICKING 48: A sound you really love? A: My mans voice ;) 49: Can you do a backflip? A: no but how rad would that be? 50: Can you do the splits? A: ^ 51: Favorite actor and/or actress? A: Idkkk 52: Favorite movie? A: You asked me this already 53: How are you feeling right now? A: Nostalgic  54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? A: Blue 55: When did you feel happiest? A: When I went to Florida. 56: Something that calms you down? A: Talking  57: Have any mental disorders? A: Um 58: What does your URL mean? A: That’s a secret ;) 59: What three words describe you the most? A: Nostalgic, Lonely, unproductive.  60: Do you believe in evolution? A: Yes 61: What makes you unfollow a blog? A: If they’re a douche 62: What makes you follow a blog? A: If they’re rad 63: Favorite kind of person: The nice kind. Only in stores. 64: Favorite animal(s): Rats :) N snakes 65: Name three of your favorite blogs. I follow noone;) 66: Favorite emoticon: Emojis r gross 67: Favorite meme: Whats a me me  68: What is your MBTI personality type? A: Whut 69: What is your star sign? A: Sagittarius  70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? A: Yes 71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? A: Red and white adorable, soft ass crop top, with my black skinnies. 72: Post a selfie or two? A: Neither  73: Do you have platform shoes? A: Wishing 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? A: I wanted to be a ballet dancer or a scientist.   75: Can you do a front flip? A: No 76: Do you like birds? A: Yes 77: Do you like to swim? A: ofc 78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? A: Swimming 79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Anti lgbt + trump 80: Some thing you wish did exist: Teleportation my dear 81: Piercings you have? A: First+second lobe, nose. 82: Something you really enjoy doing: Makeup 83: Favorite person to talk to: My boiii 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? A: gey  85: How many followers do you have? A: 0 86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? A: 10:01 87: Do your socks always match? A: Not a chance 88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? A: Nope 89: What are your birthstones? A: Tealllll? 90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? A: a birb 91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? A: A white rose 92: A store you hate? A:  Hyvee? 93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? A: 6 lmao  94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? A: read minds 95: Do you like to wear camo? A: Depends 96: Winter or summer? A: Summer 97: How long can you hold your breath for? A: 57 seconds 98: Least favorite person? A: a certain person 99: Someone you look up to: My boiii 100: A store you love? A: Spencers 101: Favorite type of shoes A: Converse 102: Where do you live? A: not ur biz 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? A: No 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? A: Um idk 105: Do you drink milk? A: No i think it’s gross 106: Do you like bugs? A: no 107: Do you like spiders? A: do u even have to ask? n O 108: Something you get paranoid about? A: Everything 109: Can you draw: No lol 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? A: do yOU PLAY BASKETBALL??????????? 111: A question you hate being asked? A: ^ 112: Ever been bitten by a spider? A: probably 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? A: yes 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? A: Cloudy  115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: the boi :( 116: Favorite cloud type:  Arcus cloud 117: What color do you wish the sky was?  A: Yellow 118: Do you have freckles? A: I wish 119: Favorite thing about a person: Smile or humor 120: Fruits or vegetables? A: Fruits 121: Something you want to do right now: dieieieeie 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? A: Both are endless  123: Sweet or sour foods? A: Sour 124: Bright or dim lights? A: Dim 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? A: No 126: Something you hate about Tumblr: The “I think murders are cute” Side. 127: Something you love about Tumblr: Pretty photos  128: What do you think about the least? A: Responsibilities ;))  129: What would you want written on your tombstone? A: “Dance on me”  130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? A: A lot of people 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? A: My face 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? A: Maybe 133: Computer or TV? A: Comp. 134: Do you like roller coasters? A: YEEES

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? A: Motion sickness sometimes :((

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? A: Lobed 137: Do you believe in karma? A: A little 138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? A: 3 139: What nicknames do you have/have had? A: Princess, hoe, rikku 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? A: When I was younger I thought Danny phantom was my bf.  141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? A: Never 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? a: Bad.woops 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts? A: Giving  144: What makes you angry? A: Homophobs  145: How many languages do you speak fluently? A: 2 Engrish n jibberish 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? A: All of the beautiful people ♥ 147: Are you androgynous? A: Too much so 148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: My brows n hair 149: Favorite thing about your personality: Too tough to answer  150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. A: My love, A rabbit n Hobo Johnson.  151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? A: Stone age my dudes 152: Do you like BuzzFeed? A: Ew no 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? A: A game 

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? A: umno

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? A: Yea 156: What embarrasses you? A: My mother 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: Too many peoples 158: Biggest lie you have ever told: Lets not bring that up 159: How many people are you following? A: Dunno 160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? A: Like 2 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? A: none 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? a: nONE 163: Last time you cried and why: A few days ago for reasons  164: Do you have long or short hair? A: Shoulder length 165: Longest your hair has ever been: To the bum 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? A: Because religion scares people into thinking if they do something bad, they’ll go to an imaginary place called hell. If your God loved you so much he would never do such a thing ;/// + Many other reasons 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? A: I really do 168: Do you like to wear makeup? A: too much 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? A: No 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? A: Yuh

#Questions #Answer #q and a #cute #videogames #poems #indie #grunge #4 real its 2 real #2real

[narcisbolgor-blog]

Fans Going HARD On Twitter After Mystery Girl Walked Onstage & Stuck Gum In Camila Cabello’s Hair!

Who shoved

In the clip, some girl just walks up on the stage and gives Camila a one-handed shove while she's trying to sing Bad Things. And afterward it was reported the real attack was that she put GUM IN GURL'S HAIR!

That is a red fucking line!

See the offending footage AND the angriest reactions of protective fans (below)!

#CamilaOnLollaChile someone got on stage and pushed Camila tonight…..but why though 🤷🏼‍♀️ @Camila_Cabello pic.twitter.com/UkL73etoZ0 — Justin x Camila (@JB_Cabello) March 18, 2018

First Camila get aggressively kissed by a fan and now a random chick got on stage and pushed her?? I- #CamilaOnLollapalooza #CamilaOnLollaChile pic.twitter.com/Cgea7mvwPi — Jan'na McGuire (@jmcguire1997) March 18, 2018

ok but honestly where was the security? i mean, that person pushed her softly but it really could've been worst. — camila. (@whisperscabelIo) March 18, 2018

who the FUCK pushed camila turn on your location i just wanna talk — emily ⚡️ (@graciouscabello) March 18, 2018

Where was the security when that girl walked on stage and pushed camila? What if somone else did the same thing & pushed her until she fell or physically hurt her? someone fix this mess — Lara ♛ (@cabeIIoholic) March 18, 2018

Me @ the girl who pushed Camila tonight pic.twitter.com/BcQlU7YNgo — Lika🌹 (@kingsizedkarla) March 18, 2018

Not only did that girl pushed Camila, she also put a chewing gum on her shoulder/in her hair?

Yall…. pic.twitter.com/It76fX3lya — CHERYL - 🌹 #Freedom (@JustACamilizer) March 18, 2018

I didn't even know that crazy bitch stuck a gum on Camila's hair. It's so triggering… I'm raging. I wish someone would have pushed her psycho ass off the stage. pic.twitter.com/nzqi8sZJyq — Y. (@cabellolisp) March 19, 2018

I need the @ of the ho who pushed Camila and apparently put her gum on her it’s for research purposes of how many times you can punch someone before they pass out — Luh Baby 💜 (@BuniaJanai) March 18, 2018

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=> *********************************************** Original Post Here: Fans Going HARD On Twitter After Mystery Girl Walked Onstage & Stuck Gum In Camila Cabello’s Hair! ************************************ =>

Fans Going HARD On Twitter After Mystery Girl Walked Onstage & Stuck Gum In Camila Cabello’s Hair! was originally posted by 11 VA Viral News

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[savetopnow]

2018-03-20 21 CELEBRITY now

CELEBRITY

E!

From Kanye West to John Stamos: The Most Romantic Celebrity Proposals Ever

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline in ''Negotiations'' Over Increased Child Support Request

Cheryl Burke Mourns the Death of Her Father

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Kristen Bell Gets Candid About Her and Dax Shepard's ''Choreographed'' Parenting Style

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Selena Gomez Looks More Carefree Than Ever After Justin Bieber Split: I’m Taking Care Of Myself

12 Selfies Of Fifth Harmony That Will Make You Miss Them Even More On Hiatus

Fifth Harmony Vows To ‘Come Back’ After Solo Hiatus: They Won’t Be One Direction

Fetty Wap Welcomes 7th Child: Has Baby Boy 2 Months After Daughter With Alexis Skyy Born

Joy Duggar Goes Into Labor & Undergoes Scary Emergency C-Section On ‘Counting On’ — Watch

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Desiigner Caught Taking A PIZZ On Someone’s House!! (PICS)

Comedian Sinbad Appears To Be SNITCHING On Russell Simmons . . . Says ‘MORE WOMEN’ Are Gonna Come Out With RAPE Claims!!!

Shirley Strawberry From Teh STEVE HARVEY RADIO SHOW . . . Is Being Sued . . . For Being a ‘DEADBEAT’!!

People

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[whatsupsac]

What’s Up With Your Weekend, 1/13/17-1/15/17:

Friday: 

Vic//jun Album Release Party: After 1 year of creating, recording, mixing, and mastering, Umbrellas is finally here. See performances by Tony Sharp, Kennedy Wrose, GSB4MAYOR, Issa Jackson, Lowlifeilli, Ant Magor, Voiice, and Cam Ofgenx! All proceeds go towards Sol Collective's building purchase and community efforts. Sol Collective. 6-11PM. All Ages. $10.

Soirée Cinéma: Grosse Fatigue: Join the Alliance Française for their first film of the New Year! January’s Soirée Cinéma will feature the 1994 comedy "Grosse Fatigue" (Dead Tired). The film will be presented in French with English subtitles, with a discussion following the film. Please bring snacks to share. Reservations are not required, but come early to ensure a seat! This is a free event for members and their guests, but donations are highly appreciated to support the Ciné-Club and continue building our video library collection.  Alliance Française de Sacramento. 7-9:30PM.

The Whale by Samuel D. Hunter: Fresh off winning an Elly Award for best production of a new script, California Stage opens the 26th season with the award winning play The Whale, Samuel D. Hunter’s incisive look at love, relationships and religious intolerance stars Joel Mario Rickert and is directed by Shawn O’Neal. The Whale is the recipient of the 2013 Lucille Lortel Award, Best Play, the 2013 Drama Desk Award for Significant Contribution to Theatre and the 2013 GLAAD Media Award, Outstanding Theatre. Three Penny Theater. 8PM. $15/20.

Tony Glaser - the make up show: Due to circumstances beyond their control, Shine Cafe had to close over the holiday weekend and cancel a show... now they want to make it up! Tony Glaser, a dance/funk/rock band from San Francisco, performs live. Shine Cafe. 8PM. All Ages. $7 Cash Only.

Beers for Bars: Overkast Presents: Beers For Bars, a Hip-hop night at Ruhstaller Taproom. Host Mars Parker will invite Caliscope, Hobo Johnson, The Philharmonik and That Kid Raja to the stage to lay down their beats. Ruhstaller Taproom. 9-11:30PM. $5 Door Cover.

Saturday:

Midtown Bizarre January: Find the best of handmade goods at this charming Micro Maker's Bizarre! January's lineup showcases Brown Pigeon, Burly Beverages, Conscious Creamery, Chulatribe, Green Giraffe Ceramics, Leelathreads, Odd Petals, Sudz By Studz, Sugar Mountain Apothecary, & Tufarock and will offer a myriad of awesome handmade goods for you and your favorite folks! Identity Coffees. 12-6PM.

Summit for Artistic Infrastructure and Safety: If you want to help Artists, if you are an Artist, if you are a concerned citizen, please bring your ideas and revenue strategies to this summit hosted by the Capitol Indie Collective. We want to achieve real community solutions that support projects like INDIEhäus and retrofit existing projects so that they are SAFE and provide a dignified space to Artists so they can continue to make our lives culturally rich. CLARA Midtown. 1-3PM. Free but eventbrite registration recommended. 

Sacramento Ballet’s Free 2nd Saturday Open Rehearsal: Go behind the scenes and explore creativity as our dancers invent new concepts and innovative movement for the upcoming 22nd Annual Beer and Ballet performance. These 30 minute open rehearsals events are a great introduction to the Sacramento Ballet, a way to get to know your Sacramento professional ballet dancers and learn more about their day-to-day profession. CLARA Midtown. 4-4:30PM & 4:30-5PM. Free and open to the public.

Opening Reception for “We Buy White Albums” by Rutherford Chang: Rutherford Chang’s exhibit will turn the gallery into a functioning record store stocking only numbered copies of the Beatles’ 1968 self-titled double-LP, popularly referred to as the White Album. But rather than selling albums, the anti-store will solicit additional albums for Chang’s collection of already over 1,600 copies. Chang’s interest in collecting the White Album lies in how every copy has aged uniquely. Verge Center for the Arts. 6-9PM.

Second Saturday Art Benefit: Uptown Studios will showcase wonderful works by Women's Wisdom featuring local artists and artwork available for purchase. Uptown Studios. 6-9PM. Free.

Bars & Beats: Poetry + Producer Showcase: A Sol Life presentation highlighting performance poets and producers through a new experience which bridges the two mediums together. This gathering will include established as well as rising poets and producers which will allow you to digest the two powerful forms of art in a new and memorable way. All proceeds will go towards Sol Collective and their campaign to purchase their building for future generations. Sol Collective. 7-11PM. $10.

The Music of David Bowie: A Rock Symphony: To mark the first anniversary of his passing, the Sacramento Philharmonic & Opera presents a symphonic salute to the one and only, David Bowie. Come dressed as your best Bowie for the Costume Contest taking place at 7:15pm and win fabulous prizes! Community Center Theater. 8PM. $15 and up.

Jem & Scout! Cities You Wish You Were From! Zen Again!: Jem & Scout headline this live music show with Cities You Wish You Were From, a new guitar/drums duo with Eli Jenkins of Eli & The Sound Cult and WasteMoney, and Zen Again, a female-fronted indie/alternative music. Old Ironsides. 9PM-12AM. 21+. $5.

Sunday:

Panel: Colonialism from “Highest Heavan” to Darker History: The stunning objects of the exhibition "Highest Heaven: Spanish and Portuguese Colonial Art from the Roberta and Richard Huber Collection" offer the chance to examine the history of colonialism that exists beneath the surface of these precious works. Crocker Art Museum. 2-5PM. Space is limited so early registration recommended. $10 Members, $5 Students/youth, $15 Nonmembers.

Sacramento Kings Family Night: The Sunrise Elementary PFO Invites You To Family Night with the Sacramento Kings as they take on the Oklahoma City Thunder. Golden 1 Center. 6-11PM. $45 and up.

Mahlae & Delta’s Big Birthday Show: Celebrate Mahlae Balenciaga & Delta Work's Birthdays with a Drag Show hosted by Taryn Thru-Uv starring Camile Tow (Brandon C Blackmon), Sasha Glam Devaroe, Susie Bellucci-Swallows, and beats by DJ Marc Pacheco. Sidetrax. 8:30-11PM. No Cover.

#sacramento whatsupsac plus1sac midtownsac downtownsac secondsaturday ClaraMidtown art artwalk artists livemusic sacramentokings

[americanahighways]

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The 2020 Virtual Woody Guthrie Festival came to a close this past Sunday, putting a wrap on a bold journey into unknown territory for the Woody Guthrie Coalition and the annual fest. Following an impressive all-star line-up of songwriters on Tuesday and Saturday’s broadcasts, the invaluable Terry “Buffalo” Ware got the Sunday show underway with his rollicking “Plain As Day” and some extra fun picking. Next up, Melissa Hembree joined by her pals, Michael Hurd on mandolin and Bruce Metcalf on acoustic bass, performed a great poignant new song, “Okfuskee” down in front of the Woody statue in downtown Okemah. It doesn’t get more fitting than that. Or does it?

Andy Adams made his case, by delivering a stunning version of Jimmy LaFave’s “Music From the Motorcourt,” that does a fine job of capturing the after-hours hotel parking lot scene that really inspires so many. I really enjoyed Adams’ albeit brief performance at the Old Church here in Perkins, OK just a few months back, and have tuned into several of his own livestreams since. Keeping with the LaFave theme, Adams closed out his segment with another of the beloved songwriter and mentor, the aptly titled, “Woody Guthrie.” Up next, the multi-talented, Ali Harter with an older song she indicated she had recently dug out, “Anti-Political, Unpolitical Song.” Not only a gifted songwriter, Harter also designed this year’s logo and merch via her Pigs Fly Shop, and all her endeavors certainly deserve your attention. OKCs K.C. Clifford performed next, straight from her home’s staircase with a really great song that I believe to be titled, “Remember When.” I haven’t taken the opportunity to catch Clifford live yet, but now I certainly know I need to. You probably need to as well. Tell her I sent you. Robert Williams came next, with a nice sing-a-long on Woody’s “So Long, It’s Been Good to Know Yuh” and was followed by the wonderful, Susan Herndon performing her take of the traditional, “This Train is Bound For Glory.” Need a pick-me-up? Williams and Herdon’s songs should do the trick. Following up on their duo performance on the opening night, Travis Fite and Monica Taylor returned with Fite on vocals for Woody’s “Dust Pneumonia Blues,” which has always been a personal favorite of mine from the vast Guthrie catalog. Great, fun version.

Also returning from Saturday’s show, was another song from Betty Soo. This time, a stunning rendition of her own “Henry & Me,” which just stopped me in my tracks and was one of my favorite songs of the festival. I’ll definitely be digging more into this gifted songwriter’s songs soon. With a perfect Terilingua backdrop, good ol’ Butch Hancock was back with well wishes, a bit of hope and a Flatlander’s cut, “One Road More.” Next, Nellie Clay served as our Okenah tour guide in a great production type clip accompanying a soundtrack of Clay performing Woody’s “Ranger’s Command.” Nellie’s choice of song while visiting the Crystal Theatre, the Pastures of Plenty stage and Guthrie’s homestead for the clip, was just exactly perfect. Jared Deck followed, with his soulful “Mountain Valley Road” that had me wishing for at least one more. Instead, Jaimee Harris was back with “On The Surface,” and a short tale detailing the travels that took her from Terilingua, to Okemah to Taos and Eliza Gilkyson’s home. Harris’ stripped down performances were a highlight throughout the festival, and this version was no different. Definitely take the time to listen. Joel Rafael also returned again, this time with a nice version of “Glory Bound,” followed by the sounds of the Red Dirt Rangers and “Strawberries and Watermelon.” Bristow, Oklahoma’s Cassie Latshaw next performed, what I think is titled, “Hide Away” with her friends Steven and Paul and gave me yet another Okie songwriter I really need to catch soon. Annie Guthrie was back with a new song, one she indicated was still being worked out, and well, she doesn’t really care if you have an opinion about it. Keep it to yourself friend. Right there, the spirit of the Guthrie family was perfectly represented, and despite her likely disregard for this writer’s opinion, it’s a damn fine song.

Gypsy Twang comprised of Sarah Barker Huhn, and Steve Huhn, as well as John Williams and Craig Skinner, added a beautiful version of Woody’s “Ramblin’ Round.” Next, Larry Spears’ “Puppeteer” and it’s Dylan-esque cadence, proceeded to blow me away. Just a great song, look it up. Leading us into the closing stretch, Ken Pomeroy presented her inspired tale of Dylan and Baez, titled, “Joan.” It’s been so much fun watching Pomeroy develop as a songwriter, and even when she covers a song, as she did next with “Deportees,” she unmistakably leaves her fingerprints all of it. I can’t recommend her Horton Records debut release, “Hallways” enough, so be sure to look it up. Jacob Tovar returned from his barn for Tom Skinner’s “Crystal,” while R.T. Valine, with birds accompanying delivered a timely take on “Wish This World (Would Settle Down), while his good boy, Wino, kept watch. In the Oklahoma music scene, I doubt there;s a more valuable asset than Kyle Reid. Besides fronting his own endeavors, Reid has played a part in countless local shows and recordings. Reid’s tent set last year with his Low Swinging Chariots was a highlight, and I always look forward to any opportunity to hear his contributions, which thankfully happens quite frequently here in the OKC area. For this year’s fest, Reid recorded a great original, “Dance Alone” and followed it up with Woody’s Hobo’s Lullaby.”

Throughout the pandemic, Carter Sampson has been right there, doing her part to help keep us sane, and maybe herself too. I’ve probably tuned into more Carter livestreams this year than anyone elses, and there’s a couple of reasons. First, she’s performed nearly 60 of her “Happy Hour w/Carter & Bubba,”, and second, each one has been outstanding. Along with her faithful, canine rescue, Bubba, Sampson provides great songs, stories, Shel Silverstein and well, hope. Hope that all this will someday end. Here, Sampson and Bubba perform a great version of “Queen of Oklahoma” and her more recent, “Rattlesnake Kate” from “Lucky” on Horton Records. Next, Peggy Johnson performed a pair of songs that always hit me hard, “One of the Ones” and “Dustbowl Lullaby.” I just discovered Johnson at last year’s fest, and I’m so glad I did. Closing in on the end, Michigan’s Chris Buhalis dropped in again with another brilliant song for the “Working People,” and introduced himself as a new favorite that I must become more familiar with. Any songwriter that can include a line about Bob Gibson’s fastball high and tight, is on to something. The great Greg Jacobs came up next from Greg Johnson’s Blue Door in Oklahoma City for a loving take on “Do Re Mi,” and a poignant version of his own, “Footprints” before our host Terry Ware wrapped up this years recorded performances for the year with the traditionally played Hoot for Huntington’s, sing-along take of Bob Childer’s “Woody’s Road.”

Like everything else in this crazy world right now, this year’s festival was different, and not quite what any of us wanted. Thankfully though, it did happen. I know I needed it, our community needed it and undoubtedly the performers needed it. Any sense of normalcy has to be grasped, and thank goodness the Woody Guthrie Coalition came through for us, because it really helped. Throughout the broadcasts, performer after performer mentioned how much they missed, and how much they look forward to actually sweating it out at the festival next year. Count me in. Next year’s Woody Guthrie Festival will hopefully return with live performances from Okemah on July 14th -18th. A huge thank you to all the 2020 festival artists, supporters, contributors, Friends of the Festival and Coalition members. The fact that together, all of these people were able to convey the sense of family and spirit over a livestream process, is nothing short of amazing. It really shows the depth of dedication and the love of the music that each one of these beautiful people possesses. I really missed seeing everyone this year, and eagerly look forward to the next time we can all get together. As always, an extra loud thank you to all the members of the Festival Board of Directors: President Randy Norman, Vice-President Gary Hart, Dana Gunn, Miranda Huff, Fred Ellert, Cheyenne Felker, Lindsey Flowers, Maddie Gregory, Roger Hostenbach, Roger Osburn, Dennis Whiteman and Guy Zahller, and lastly, of course, the Guthrie Family. Special people, each and every one.

The 2020 WoodyFest stream can still  be viewed until the end of the month on Youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=woodyfest+2020 and the Coalition would definitely appreciate any support via donations and 2020 fest merchandise. All the information can be found here: https://www.woodyfest.com.

Show Review: Woody Guthrie Festival 2020 (Virtually) Celebration Continues (Pt. 3) @woodyfest #andyadams @mhembreemusic @terry-ware @jaimeeharris @alihartermusic @KCClifford @cartersampson @kenpomeroy @gypsytwang @joelrafaelmusic @reddirtrangers The 2020 Virtual Woody Guthrie Festival came to a close this past Sunday, putting a wrap on a bold journey into unknown territory for the Woody Guthrie Coalition and the annual fest.

[back-and-totheleft]

What Matters

Stone’s experiences fighting in the Vietnam War, a conflict in which he spent 360 days serving with distinction in the United States Army, have unsurprisingly formed a huge part of his outlook as a filmmaker. From his critique of American foreign policy in South America in Salvador, his condemnation of the American government’s treatment of veterans in Born On The Fourth Of July, and his portrayal of the true horrors of the Vietnam War in Platoon, Stone’s anti-establishment streak is clear to see. It’s something he has always worn with a badge of honor and made no attempts to water down. Bringing what he sees as the harsh realities of American foreign policy into the conscious of mainstream cinema audiences is a recurring theme throughout his work.

Platoon is understandably seen as Stone’s most personal work, given its direct link to his own tour of duty. However, I’d argue that JFK is a very close second. The assassination of John F. Kennedy was a pivotal moment in the life of the young director. According to Stone it marked the start of what he saw as a fall from grace for America and their embarking on a dark road that began with Kennedy’ successor Lyndon Johnson escalating the war in Vietnam. In the production notes for JFK Stone stated:

“Kennedy to me was like the Godfather of my generation. He was a very important figure, a leader, a prince in a sense. And his murder marked the end of a dream. The end of a concept of idealism I associated with my youth.”

These strong feelings flow right the way through the movie and it’s clearly a passion project which Stone made with an intense verve. However critics could arguably point out that it was this passion which blinded Stone to certain realities and led to him to take some fairly strong liberties with the truth. [...]

Treated purely as a piece of drama, JFK is a mesmerizing blend of styles and formats. It has elements of documentary, historical recreation, family drama, criminal investigation, political thriller, and courtroom drama coursing through it. At its center sits District Attorney Jim Garrison (Kevin Costner) and the story of how he and his team successfully brought about the first trial relating to the assassination of President Kennedy. The dramatic thrust of the movie is deliberately simple, underneath all the layers of intrigue, it’s a group of dedicated and tireless public servants seeking to uncover the truth and expose the shady goings on of those in power. It’s compelling and passionate cinema that whips you up and demands your attention.

From the very outset it’s easy to see why JFK won Academy Awards for both Cinematography and Editing. The opening montage which begins the movie is a bravura introduction that condenses down a wealth of crucial information into a very short space of time. We see historical archive footage of Kennedy’s speeches, his family life, his meetings with other politicians, as well as footage of other key players and events from the era.

As the footage begins, a key theme is immediately articulated via Dwight D. Eisenhower’s ominous warning against the rise to prominence of the military-industrial complex. We are then shown newsreels documenting Kennedy’s narrow election victory over Richard Nixon as the ground is set for his arrival in power.

The tempo then begins to pick up, the editing quickens and the tone becomes more serious, as the Cold War and its milieu unfolds. The Bay of Pigs fiasco, the annexation of Cuba, Kennedy’s deal with Krushchev and his apparent desire to withdraw from Vietnam are all explained in brief via archive footage and calming narration by none other than Martin Sheen. Key concepts and themes are now lodged in our minds. These include Kennedy’s willingness to work with Russia, his supposed weakness on Communism, and the threat he posted to those with a vested interest in war.

Suddenly, in amongst the newsreel footage comes our first fictional scene involving a call girl being ditched by the roadside. It marks a sudden shift that sees the montage’s pace and intensity increase once more. The music shifts from a brisk military drum roll to a far more menacing and tense piece. From here the momentum ramps up towards that fateful day in Dallas as footage of Kennedy’s arrival in the city is blended with recreations of his route to Dealey Plaza. Eventually it cuts to footage from the Zapruder film and as his car makes that final turn, we hear a gunshot ring out and it all fades to black.

Thanks to Stone and his editors Joe Hutshing and Pietro Scalia, the movie’s entire tone and raison d’etre is perfectly laid out before us. This whole sequence runs just shy of seven minutes. In those seven minutes a huge amount of information is relayed to us. You are thus launched into proceedings imbued with a sense of both historical context and atmosphere, as well as a range of questions already primed and ready to go.

Hutshing and Scalia utilized a range of sources for their visual jigsaw including newsreels, stock photos, home movies, and Stone’s own new footage. The blending of historical fact and fiction begins here, with real-life footage and dramatic re-creations mixed together through a series of quick cuts in order to develop Stone’s story. The issue with this perhaps being that it’s sometimes hard to tell when the archive footage ends and the new footage begins. This process of merging together fresh footage and archive pieces comes not only in the introduction, but several times throughout the movie.

When the mysterious 'X' (Donald Sutherland) lays out his version of events for Jim Garrison, we again witness an onslaught of visual information which seemingly backs up his claim. Likewise, when Garrison is in the courtroom laying out his own version of events, we again view it via a gripping montage of moments which reinforce his argument. In all three cases, the fast paced editing drives the story along and gives each sequence a sense of urgency and vitality.

The film’s cinematography is also a joy to watch and more than worthy of its Oscar win. Robert Richardson and Stone delivered a film that could go from brooding and sombre, to vibrant and urgent in the blink of an eye. Moments such as Garrison interviewing Clay Shaw (Tommy Lee Jones) on a rain-soaked Easter weekend or Garrison’s solitary viewing of Robert Kennedy’s shooting are shrouded in gloom and despondency, reflective of the sense of despair Stone himself felt over these moments. Meanwhile, the dizzying courtroom sequence delivers many little gems, from the camera stalking Garrison as he prowls the debate floor, to the way it cuts away to capture the shocked looks of the sweat-laden fan-holding courtroom audience. [...]

It’s seeing how the pieces fit together that makes the film so fascinating. Pieces which are hinted at in the opening montage, characters referenced in or even merely glimpsed in flashbacks, come back in to proceedings later on as the puzzle takes shape. For example, one of the 'Nazi-type' mercenaries shown early on in the background at one of David Ferrie’s (Joe Pesci) training camps, shows up later on as an apparent contact on the ground giving a signal to the 'hobos' on the day of the assassination. This man never utters a line, yet he offers a subtle through line linking earlier moments with the broader story.

While Stone himself deserves great credit for producing this huge piece of work, he was helped majorly by a brilliant all-star cast. To name but a few we saw Kevin Costner, Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Oldman, Joe Pesci, Kevin Bacon, Jack Lemmon, Donald Sutherland, Ed Asner, and Sissy Spacek all throwing themselves into their roles. Even John Candy and Walter Matthau, who both only have very brief cameos, are scintillating to watch. Candy’s perspiring jazz-talking dodgy attorney oozes screen presence, while Matthau’s good ol’ Senator is the cynical doubter who reignites Garrison’s interest in the assassination. [...]

From the Zapruder film onwards we sense Garrison is truly hitting his stride, his dismantling of the so called 'single bullet' theory is so erudite and persuasive you’ll almost want to just believe he is right and completely avoid the fairly important factors Stone failed to include. The fact that Garrison does not go on to win his case and the jury instead finds in favor of Shaw, is utterly immaterial. It’s the seeds of doubt he planted and the broader idea he put forward that matters. As he walks off with his family, head held high, what matters is that he tried.

-Robert Keeling, “Oliver Stone's JFK: A Masterful Blend of Fact and Fiction,” Den of Geek, Apr 19 2017 [x]

#oliver stone #jfk #robert richardson #John F. Kennedy #den of geek #cinematography #editing

[ghostlykidmaker]

Hammond plans to quit if Johnson becomes PM

New Post has been published on https://newsprofixpro.com/products/2019/07/21/hammond-plans-to-quit-if-johnson-becomes-pm/

Hammond plans to quit if Johnson becomes PM

Image copyrightReuters Philip Hammond has said he intends to resign as chancellor if Boris Johnson becomes UK PM. Mr Hammond told the BBC leadership frontrunner Boris Johnson was “likely” to become the next PM, and a no-deal Brexit was “not something I cou… Read More

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[bravoindigodelta-blog]

12/14/18

What a fucking mess I’ve made. such an idiot.

enough. enough of that

I need to give my notice, the more time goes by the worse it gets. i feel so guilty, but I can’t do it. Its just not for me. I’m not sure if I need sleep or food or both. I need to not be a fucking monster and destroy my body. Surprised I’m still ok, like all the shit I’ve done. Gotta be ending soon.

I have to put an end to it. Stop being so reckless with your shit. You look like hell. WTF like I don’t feel well. I can’t continue doing this. My week, my hours of sleep are all messed up. I want to cook but I’m too lazy. My eye is starting to twitch and I’m shaking more and more. I need a massage like nobodies business. do i get another coffee? no, no

A nantucket summer is like a dream. It happens so fast you hardly believe you went through it. Like all the stuff I’ve done. So much to account for. Should I have done it differently? Funny how things changed so quickly with David. Flipped it all in an instant. I should leave here. Now I’m lingering.

Relationship advice with me- don’t

I have too much I need to fix, with myself. I need to be less paranoid- but to counter that Ive always been fucked over. Can no one these days be faithful? All you have to do is not fuck someone else. Apparently that’s too fucking hard. Shame really.

i think I like these glasses. Thats what I need to do. Im kind of tired but I don’t want to just sit in my room. Too much time on my hands. How long do I stay in nh. What’s keeping me here, is it just because I’m trying to be resilient. To say I did it. Shit, I don’t know anymore.

The bathrooms here are popular

I mean for the time I’ve been here there’s been at least two random people that have come in to use it. And he doesn’t use the hand blower. Interesting. Maybe thats what I should write about. blog? would anyone read it? id look like i was doing something important, but really doing nothing at all. funny. you see the people on computers and wonder are they actually doing real work? And thats me right now. Being in a public place being anti social. weird thought. And another person comes in and doesn’t order anything. looks at the food, then the bulletin board, then leaves. curious.

I wonder if or where that movie is or what it was called, such an old movie. and if I find it would i want to watch it?

Do I want to ask? weird random ass text, there’s always just don’t answer. Thats a pretty good answer.

I’m excited to go home though. I just nervous I’ll be bored soon. I have nothing to do.

I’m shaking like a mother fucker right now. is this the feeling before you pass out. is this the feeling that will make me change what the fuck im doing? no. never is.

likeliest night. tried to be emotional and couldn’t. I could not cry. I wanted to, I was upset. you cry when your upset, right? is there something wrong with me? - yes that answer is yes. of course there is.

this song is hilarious, remember to listen to this later- lil dicky- lemme freak haha

what the hell

how is this a song. a lot of story. how do you remember all the story. guess you just keep saying it a lot. hilarious

also hobo johnson is great. is this background music supposed to be there? wasn’t before or did i just not notice. I like to think I’m pretty perceptive. Maybe not though

am I an asshole? do I not smile enough, not acknowledging people around me. I want to burst into tears, will someone, a stranger come to console or just watch and wonder. Look the other way and pretend it’s not happening because they don’t want to deal with it.

hes cute. they’re all taken here. shit

I need to think of something awesome to do

vacations probably, or learn to knit or some shit

take a second look and walk away

these two over here. two ladies, on swayed coming in. that caught my eye. looking longer than just seeing who’s coming in

i feel like I’m in the twilight zone. time is weird, it could be really late.

and now im just smiling at my computer

i wonder if brandon got my letter

did he write back? will he? and why am i getting back into this. he’s trouble. big trouble. why just leave it alone. like with adam. he was just done. haven’t heard from him since.weird. or is it? I mean, thats basically my m.o. thats what I do. real good at ghosting. I want to go out cause i look good, cute. i deserve a beer. it was a rough night. fucking crazy. i am an asshole. what am i getting involved with. and what I did. jesus christ. like calm down. I need a chaperone. shouldn’t be allowed to do half the shit i am. fuck. so much has changed.

i wonder if Ryan ever thinks of me. worst break up. I just didn’t get it. almost as bad as Luke. it all seems like another lifetime

ok looking forward. it’ll get better. be positive and project. I need to get in contact with Tess. I’m a bad friend for not. I miss her and Mike. I wonder if they’ll be able to hangout on Monday.

this guy brice vine is cute. came out of nowhere with that drew barrymore song.

I wonder is im going to read this ever again. last ones I read felt so sad. upsetting

I want to go back to the beginning with sparks. with Josh. but then i think that he wasn’t good for me. which he wasn’t. but I have/ had no closure. what are you supposed to do? leave it. just forget about it? I don’t want to. but i want to. but i don’t. talk about conflicted. so stupid. silly girl with her feelings. already made the mistake of getting caught up last night. that ended so badly.I am glad he called today though. so adult like of us.

[brido]

Mike Bridenstine’s Fake 2019 Baseball Hall of Fame Ballot

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas is fine. But it’s also time for me to argue with everyone about who should get into baseball Hall of Fame. I did this last year and two of my friends essentially called me a coward for avoiding the Barry Bonds/Roger Clemens issue altogether. Fine. I’m going to open with them this year. And you might not like what I say about it. This year, I went off of Jay Jaffe’s JAWS ranking. I also used Bill James’ ‘Keltner List’ as a guide, I referenced Jaffe’s Cooperstown Casebook because I am a fucking dork, and the stats come from Baseball Reference and FanGraphs. Actually, whenever I’m looking at Baseball Reference or Fan Graphs, my wife laughs at me and tells me I’m looking at porn. Like what you like, everyone. Oh, and I also skimmed everyone’s Wikipedia pages to see if I forgot anything. Okay. With that self-deprecation and basement-level nerdy-ness out of the way, let’s get started. I’ll follow the BBWAA rules and only pick 10.     

Barry Bonds 

I’m so sick of having this argument. Aren’t you? Barry Bonds might be the single greatest baseball player of all time. His 164.4 career WAR is second only to Babe Ruth, who played in a pre-integrated era when the pitchers were trolly hobos and nobody ever went west of St. Louis. Bonds’ (alleged, but let’s not kid ourselves) steroid era numbers would look like typos, even in a video game. Just for fun, look at his age 42 season in 2007. His OPS+ was 169, which is basically what Christian Yelich and JD Martinez did this year. Then nobody signed Bonds in 2008, even though he offered to play for the league minimum. Riiiiight. 

Here’s another fun fact, if Bonds had retired after the 1998 season (before… you know) he’d still have 3 MVP awards, over 400 career home runs and a JAWS ranking (an average of career bWAR and a player’s 7 best WAR seasons) that would make him the 3rd-greatest left fielder of all-time after Ted Williams and Rickey Henderson. Sometimes steroids turned nobody’s into superstars. Sometimes the guy who was already the best player in baseball gets pissed about the attention those lesser players are getting, decides to take steroids himself to spite everyone and turns into an unstoppable monster person that makes a multi-billion dollar league have to (allegedly, but let’s not kid ourselves) collude so that he doesn’t Hulk-smash every hitting record in Major League history they’d ever come up with. 

I guess I don’t understand who his election would be hurting - the fans for making us all look like idiots? We should be over that by now. And we’re probably better for it. Joe Morgan? Who gives a shit? Unless someone could give me indisputable proof that both Willie Mays and Hank Aaron were against Bonds’ induction, then I don’t want to hear it. And Mays just gave an endorsement speech at Bonds’ number retiring ceremony in San Francisco back in August, so that kind of settles that. If you’re bent out of shape about steroids, elect the skinny guy from the Pirates and the Candlestick Park Giants. Because that guy still deserves to get in. Pretend he’s the guy on the plaque. Put an asterisk on it. Put 762 asterisks on it. I don’t care. It’s 2018. Bonds’ lack of inclusion in Cooperstown draws more attention to the steroid era than anything else in the minds of fans. You should have spoken up in 1998 if you’re still gonna throw a shit-fit 20 years after the fact. And maybe that was the entirety of Bonds’ point the whole goddamn time. Free Barry Bonds. 

YES (1/10)      

Roger Clemens

Am I going to make the same argument for Clemens, who is the all-time leader in pitchers’ WAR? Yeah, but it’s honestly not as fun. He’s a pitcher. And I think about Bonds more than I think about Clemens because the Rocket didn’t break any sanctified records from the annals of baseball history. He didn’t win 512 games. He didn’t strike out 5,715 batters. He just won 7 Cy Young Awards, 7 ERA titles, 5 strikeout titles and won 354 career games. He gets lumped in with Bonds because they were both too good at taking steroids. I mean, there is the fact that Clemens has two 20 strikeout games. He also has the greatest postseason pitching performance of all time. Nobody really talks about that, but it’s true. Go look at Game 4 of the 2000 ALCS against the Seattle. 9 innings pitched. 1 hit. 2 walks. No runs. 15 K’s. 98 GameScore. With Alex Rodriguez, Edgar Martinez and John Olerud on those Mariners. But these are the type of things we can celebrate when we just get over ourselves. He was the greatest pitcher of all time. Free Roger Clemens.      

YES (2/10)

Curt Schilling

Boy, these first three make this a lot less fun. To be completely honest, that’s a Cooperstown speech everyone can do without. Schilling is a fucking asshole. But he’s the 5th-best pitcher of his own era, behind Clemens, Greg Maddux, Randy Johnson and Pedro Martinez. JAWS ranks him as the 27th-greatest pitcher of all-time. His strikeout-to-walk ratio is the best ever, except for Tommy Bond (who pitched from 1874-1884) and current stars like Chris Sale, Corey Kluber and Stephen Strasburg who haven’t pitched half as long. On top of that, Schilling and his bloody sock are the greatest postseason pitcher of his generation. If the sportswriters want to keep him out because of his disgusting anti-journalist, far right posts on social media, that’s their right. As a human being, he’s pure trash. As a player, he’s in. 

YUCK. BUT YES (3/10) 

Mike Mussina

Okay, our first good person. I think. What’s hurting Mussina’s candidacy is a lack of marquee accomplishments (Cy Youngs, 300 wins, World Series rings), but he did finish in the top 5 in Cy Young balloting six different times. And he absolutely should have won it in 2001. Mussina has similar career numbers to Juan Marichal, Jim Palmer and Carl Hubbell (as well as Curt Schilling). He’s the 28th-best pitcher of all time, according to JAWS (behind Roger Clemens, Jim McCormick and Schilling). And I’d say for his own playing era (1991-2008), he’s the 5th-best pitcher behind Randy Johnson, Greg Maddux, Clemens and Pedro Martinez. He even won seven Gold Gloves as a pitcher. Yes, his 3.68 ERA is a little high. But he played in the AL East during the steroid ERA (123 ERA+), so he actually had top 5 finishes 7 times and top 10 finishes 4 other seasons. 

In Mussina’s final season in 2008, he won 20 games for the first time in his career. Three other pitchers have won 20 or more games in their final season. One was Sandy Koufax, whose arm fell off after 1966. The other two were on the Black Sox.   

YES (4/10)

Larry Walker

Walker was the best right fielder in baseball during his career. He’s the 10th-best right fielder of all time, according to JAWS. And he’s the best right fielder still not in the Hall. During his own career, Walker is the 5th-highest in WAR after Barry Bonds, Ken Griffey Jr., Jeff Bagwell and Alex Rodriguez. His career stats (383 HR. 2160 H. .313 AVG) are similar to Duke Snider, Joe DiMaggio, Johnny Mize, Chuck Klein and Vladimir Guerrero. He won 3 batting titles. And he won the N.L. MVP in 1997. 

The arguments against Walker are probably the home-road splits in the thin air of Denver (more on this later) and a relatively injury-shortened career. I guess the best answer to the Coors Field question is Walker’s 141 OPS+, which adjusts for ballpark and era, and that lands him as the 8th-best right fielder of all time. He was also a five-tool player with seven Gold Gloves and was also considered an exceptional baserunner. So he didn’t hit .381 with a 1.172 OPS on the road. If he did we wouldn’t even be having this debate, we’d be naming the fucking Hall of Fame after him.

YES (5/10) 

Roy Halladay

I’m curious to see how Halladay’s recent death affects his vote in his first year of eligibility. Especially since I’d place him behind Clemens, Schilling and Mussina due to his JAWS ranking. But Halladay also might have the benefit of sticking out more in his own era, where he was the second-best pitcher over that time period (1998-2013) after Randy Johnson (who retired in 2009, Jesus Christ).

Halladay was the best pitcher on the Blue Jays in 2002 and 2003, as well as from 2006-2009. And he was the ace of the Phillies in 2010 and 2011. He was probably the 3rd-best American League pitcher (1998-2009) after Mussina and Pedro Martinez during his time there. But I’d give him the best overall AL pitcher in 2008. He was 5th overall in the National League from 2010-2013, although he was probably the best in the league in 2010 and 2011. And I’d say he was the best pitcher in baseball in 2011. 

Halladay won Cy Young Awards in both leagues (2003 and 2010). Which also gives him an edge on Schilling and Mussina, who never won the award. His career stats (203 wins, 3.38 ERA, 131 ERA+) aren’t that comparable to other Hall of Fame pitchers, other than Dazzy Vance. But they do look a lot like those of Justin Verlander and Zack Greinke, who I think will get a lot of backing. 

The thing that might put a semi-borderline career over the top is the fact that Halladay threw a no-hitter in the first postseason start of his career in 2010 (94 GameScore - tied for the 5th-greatest postseason game ever). It was the first postseason no-no Since Don Larsen’s perfect game in 1956 (which also had a 94 GameScore). And that was on top of a perfect game Halladay had thrown earlier in the season (98 GameScore, since we’re doing this). All of which made him the first pitcher since Nolan Ryan in 1973 to throw two no hitters in a season.

Halladay has a Hall of Fame peak. And since everyone seems to consider Clayton Kershaw to be a no-brainer 1st ballot Hall of Fame pitcher, I’d like to point out that Halladay’s WAR7 is slightly higher than Kershaw’s. And they almost have identical career WARs through Kershaw’s age-30 season. During his prime (2002-2011), Halladay was by far the best pitcher in baseball. And as the best pitcher of his generation, I think he should get in. 

YES (6/10)

Scott Rolen

I had a real hard time with Rolen last year. The knock against him is that he was only the best player on his own team a few times, he was only the best third baseman a couple of times. His career offensive numbers are good, but not great. And he was never really an MVP candidate. He looks more like a Matt Holliday/Paul O’Neil type in the career numbers than he did the very best third basemen of his era, Alex Rodriguez and Chipper Jones.

On the flip side of that, Rolen is also one of the 3-5 best defensive third basemen of all time. So combined with his good offensive numbers, his career WAR and his peak WAR say he’s a Hall of Famer. JAWS ranks him as the 10th-greatest third baseman of all time, ahead of Edgar Martinez (who is majorly docked by WAR formulas because he DH’d). And his 56.9 JAWS puts him in the range of Jim Thome, Miguel Cabrera, Ryne Sandberg, Chase Utley, Jackie Robinson, Paul Molitor, Barry Larkin, Derek Jeter, Alan Trammell, Carlos Beltran and Shoeless Joe Jackson. It’s not sexy, but he deserves to get in.  

YES (7/10) 

Edgar Martinez

Don’t get me started about how fucking stupid it is that everyone considers Mariano Rivera a no-brainer, 1st ballot guy and then dismiss Edgar for 10 years because he was a DH. Even with Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez on his team, Martinez led the Mariners in WAR four different times. And I already told you he got docked by the WAR formula for not playing in the field. That’s nuts. He won two batting titles. I would have given him the AL MVP in 1995. Major League Baseball’s DH award is named after him. He’s above Hall of Fame standards for JAWS at third base. He has a higher OPS+ and JAWS number than David Ortiz, who everyone declared the greatest DH of all time a few seasons ago. Pedro Martinez, Randy Johnson and (yes) Mariano Rivera have all said he was the toughest batter they ever faced. And his ALDS performance against the Yankees in 1995, including “The Double”- one of the most famous base hits of all time - was arguably the catalyst to funding Safeco Field and/or possibly saving baseball in the city of Seattle. And he did all that with some kind of crazy depth perception disorder and he didn’t even play his first full season until he was 27. He’ll probably get in this year, but I just wanted to shame the voters for making him wait this long. 

YES (8/10)        

Manny Ramirez

If you’re a stats-only voter, the answer is yes. He was an historically amazeballs hitter and he was pretty much horrible at everything else. I stop my consideration at the two PED suspensions. That’s enough for me to shuffle him to the bottom of the deck and see if there’s two more players who are worthy that didn’t get caught with female fertility drugs, or whatever.  

Andruw Jones

He’s the greatest defensive center fielder of all time and has 10 consecutive Gold Gloves to show for it. While still managing to hit 434 career home runs, including a home run and RBI crown in 2005. During that long Braves run of postseasons, Andruw Jones actually edges out Chipper Jones in WAR while they were both on the roster (1996-2007). And JAWS ranks him as the 11th-greatest center fielder of all time, but three wins below Hall of Fame standards, although he did have a Hall of Fame peak. So why am I on the fence?   

Jones was hitting home runs in the World Series at 19. He was considered fat, washed-up and lazy by the time he was 30. That’s not really helping his cause. And while 10 Gold Gloves is amazing, Keith Hernandez and Omar Vizquel both have 11 and they’re not in the Hall of Fame either. The .254 batting average and sub-2,000 hits (1,933) are probably hurting him more than anything. But all of that would be moot if he hadn’t pulled a Reverse Koufax and turned into a pumpkin after his 30th birthday.     

When you add up the offensive numbers, the most similar players are Dale Murphy, Jose Canseco, Joe Carter and Jim Edmonds. That’s as iffy as it gets. But the JAWS total (54.7) puts him in the range of Pudge Rodriguez, Willie McCovey, Roberto Alomar, Tim Raines and Tony Gwynn. I’m gonna have to plug my ears, close my eyes and say, “10 Gold Gloves, 400 home runs, best position player on the Braves Dynasty,” and call it a day. 

YES (9/10)  

Todd Helton

No one who has ever played for the Rockies is in the Hall of Fame. None. Not Larry Walker. Not Andres Galarraga. Not Dante Bichette. Not Ellis Burks. Nobody. That’s weird, right? The franchise has been around for 25 years, but home/road splits and the city’s thin air means that the great American city of Denver is where Hall of Fame careers go to die.

Walker’s career splits (381/462/710 in Denver vs. 282/372/501 on the road) might be slightly more severe than Todd Helton’s (345/441/607 at home vs. 287/386/469 on the road), but Walker played the entirety of his 17-year career with the Rox. So nobody in the history of baseball has had better home conditions throughout their career than Helton. So when we look at Helton’s accomplishments, all of that has to be taken into heavy consideration. 

Helton won 3 Gold Gloves, he won a batting title (and a slash line Triple Crown) in 2000. I actually think he should have on the N.L. MVP that year. He was the best player on the Rockies every year from 1998-2003. He’s also the best player in their franchise history. He was the best first baseman in baseball in 2000, 2001 and 2002. But for his career era, he falls to third behind Albert Pujols and Miguel Cabrera. Helton wasn’t a serious MVP candidate, other than 2000. He only played in two postseasons. And his 133 OPS+ would only rank him #50 all-time out of first basemen.   

Let me pause here and say again just how weird it is that not one Hall of Fame player has ever played for the Rockies. Figuring that out bothered me so much that I decided to look to see where all the Hall of Famers who played between 1993 and 2012 (the first year of eligibility last year) played, and every single franchise except for the Rockies and the Pirates have had Hall of Famers grace their diamonds during that period. That’s not weird to you? Even the Rays had Wade Boggs. The Nationals had Pudge Rodriguez. The Royals had George Brett in his final season. The Giants had Randy Johnson in his final season… which combined with the Pirates omission should be another reason to induct Bonds. But obviously there are Pirates in the Hall of Fame. Fathers and grandfathers can bring their kids to Cooperstown and tell them stories about Willie Stargell or Roberto Clemente. Honus Wagner is displayed prominently as a member fo the First Class in 1936. People from Colorado have to go there, point to the plaques of Goose Gossage and probably Roy Halladay and say, “It’s a good thing they left town, son.” 

Helton is the 15th-greatest 1st baseman of all time. His peak is 10th all-time, ahead of several Hall of Fame first basemen. His career stats are similar to Jeff Bagwell, Miguel Cabrera, Edgar Martinez, Vladimir Guerrero, Walker, Jim Rice and Fred McGriff.  And if you don’t put Walker and/or Helton in, you’re either saying that no Rockies can ever be in the Hall of Fame, or you’re saying that you either want these guys to suck at home or be Babe Ruth/Ted Williams/Lou Gehrig/Barry Bonds/Jimmie Foxx on the road. Free the Rockies.   

YES (10/10)

Well. That’s 10. My apologies to Manny Ramirez, Sammy Sosa, Gary Sheffield, Andy Pettitte, Lance Berkman, Jeff Kent, Roy Oswalt, Fred McGriff, Mariano Rivera, Miguel Tejada, Placido Polanco, Omar Vizquel, Kevin Youkilis, Derek Lowe, Freddy Garcia, Vernon Wells, Ted Lily, Travis Hafner, Jason Bay, Billy Wagner, Michael Young, Jon Garland, Darren Oliver, Juan Pierre and Rick Ankiel. 

I’ve defended Sammy Sosa here. I’ve bashed Mariano Rivera here. I think the 10-maximum rule is stupid, since I would have voted for more than 10 players on this year’s ballot. Including Fred McGriff on his final ballot. But I had to prioritize somehow and I went with JAWS. 

Okay. That’s my pretend ballot. Argue with me. 

#cooperstown #hall of fame #bonds #clemens #roy halladay #mussina #walker #rockies #helton #rolen #edgar #andruw

[theponchosection]

Episode 63 (Catching Up) - After Show

Good Beer for a Bad Game!

(Sorry NY Giants just keeping it real)

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Keaton is a writer and comedian living in New York City. He is performer on the UCB Harold team Captain and an alum of the UCB Touring Company. He has contributed writings for The New Yorker, Comedy Central, The Onion, Funny or Die, CollegeHumor and McSweeney's Quarterly and Internet Tendency, where his column Rebunking Conspiracy Theories is published. Check out his stuff here!

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