#anyways accidental flirting with a weirdo bug | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cloudninetonine · 2 years

Note

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!! Hoo boy so i went on a hell of a ramble and accidentally mentioned some super dark stuff so TW for mentions(?) of: self-harm, mental illness, implied discrimination and abuse, dark thoughts, social/societal(?) conditioning, social/societal issues/corruption, negative self-esteem, implied PTSD, mentioned panic attacks, INCREDIBLY long all-over-the-place ask sorry VERY stream-of-conciousness

You know the post where someone's like "well if I get kidnapped by the fae that's the fae's problem" and someone compares that to "bold of you to assume I have blood"? Anyway Player!AU. "I do not control the brain!" "It fuckin WIMDY" "I have the survival instincts of a wet paper bag" smthn smthn Twiddy anyway I feel like there is. SO much potential and I cannot describe to you how much I'm excitedly (internally) vibrating right now.

Also I feel like Player would still bully Legend for his height and NO ONE ELSE (unless they start it) even if they were 5'2" lol. Maybe threaten to forcefeed him his kneecaps. Or sautee his teeth. I might be sleepy 💖😘 just the most Cursed(TM) shot teaching them what real fear is. And flirting through intimidation lol because they don't know how. And simultaneously being terrified of the bear Wild's got and wanting so badly to name it Sir Bearington and/or reenact the smoothie meme

ANOTHER THOUGHT: WHAT IF THERE WERE TWO PLAYERS. COMPLETE STRANGERS. SPEAKING ONLY IN MEMES. SINGING NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP TO THE OTHER INNOCUOUSLY UNTIL THEY SHRIEK IN RAGE AND CHASE THEM AROUND A HERD OF BEWILDERED HEROES. TRADING HORRIFYING INFODUMPS ON BUGS AND DEEP SEA CREATURES OR SOME SUCH. BEING GENERALLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE AND UNKNOWABLE AND UNINTENTIALLY BECOMING CRYPTIDS. ARGUING OVER WHETHER LYNELS ARE INSECTS BECAUSE THEY'RE CENTAUR-LIKE. USING WORDS LIKE SKRUNKLY (and arguing over the differences from scrungly), BLORBO, GLUP SHITTO, BASED, MOOD, "oh worm? then squirm," dancing on goatman's bridge, "GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY IT'S ALL GONE TO SHIT!" good lordy i need to stop lol. SHARING JOY THAT NO ONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS BUT IS TENTATIVELY SUPPORTIVE OF. Subtly making fun of the Daisy(dorky?) Chain (affectionate). Using "little shit" and "fuck" in many different ways and confusing and scandalizing everyone else. Two weirdos in--well, not their natural habitat exactly, but they'll make do (and make it everyone else's problem)

I was reading a fic today and there was an exchange along the lines of "hEATHEN" "but i believe in Hylia" "then start praying" and that made me think of "were i not a holy woman i would beat you senseless" "you're a 'holy woman'?" "No." Constantly finishimg each others sentences in the most nonsensical ways the chain didnt think possible. Defeating enemies with the sheer power of "wtf???" Doing/encountering something dangerous, being terrified to tears, and immediately wanting to do it again (maybe after a short break).

Casually saying super disturbing things like about how fucked up the system is and how lives only hold monetary value and continuing on with their day with the chain making horrified expressions and noises in the background

Convincing someone people only kiss on Tuesdays and Thursdays and that breakdancing is a super fancy greeting. Finding some toothpaste someone had in their pockets and icing cookies with it, then pretending they don't know what the problem is. Discovering the joys of arson translate to the real world as well as they slowly get over their (relative to the chain) intemse fear of fire. Unleashing their inner pyromaniacs. Both kicking ass and sucking at hidden role games due to the sheer AUDACITY. The whiplash between super timid (henlo anxiety) and outrageously obnoxious and bubbly joy. Someone complaining about being in "giggly bitch mode" during a bubbly joyful gigglefest. Someone trying to throttle the other after speaking in owo too long. The contrast between childish glee as they're experiencing this world of magic and goddesses IN-PERSON for the first time; vs possible cynicism, nihilism, pessimism, depression, anxiety, trauma, constant downplaying of said trauma, "others have it so much worse" AND THEY DO but trying to get it through their heads that doesn't mean they didn't also have it rough. Explaining things like hostile architecture and the homeless good lord the chain WOULD NOT react well. Automatically assuming someone is mad at YOU, not just having a bad day. Telling someone what you think they want to hear so they won't hurt you as much/as directly. There is so much potential for the chain being disturbed by their behavior, then being even MORE so once they realize those are LEARNED behaviors, like submitting instead of running or fighting and punishing onself. Getting into all sorts of super dark stuff super quickly with no warning, then continuing on with the conversation like nothing happened. DID RULIE HEAL THE CAFFEINE ADDICTION HOLY FUCK YES. Player with different brain wiring/chemical imbalances trying to make the others understand why they need to rely on their adrenaline addiction and panic themself into doing the dishes. The chain being disturbed at how horrible they are at taking care of themself/ves (and the possible intentional self-sabotaging and -harm, even/especially subconciously)

Calling Twi, Time, and Legs furries and refusing to explain. Leggplant. Singing Wellerman and wondering if Wind knows it. Accidentally fudgin your words and saying "Warnut" and callin him that when hes bein too obnoxious/holdin things outta reach (because his nuts are probably protected by a metal plate, it's too awkward to ask, and you don't wanna find out yourself,,,even with steel-toed boots). Talking about SPAAAAAACE and terrifying and aweing everyone. A somethong-or-rather starts swinging slightly, unprompted, no wind, and immediately relentlessly mocking it. Making stupid faces and noises when you're (irrationally?) scared, like if its super dark and you only have a torch. 30-second dance parties when needed. "The floor is lava!" and the ensuing chaos. Sacrificing someone (coughIcan'tpickonecough) to the lava.

Wind: *memes*

Players: ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF-

Have you read the fic "ridiculous optimization: the art of finding the wrong(?) tool for the right(?) situation"? Pulling stuff like that. CHAOS. Breaking hearts, minds, and rules (and 'Rules, poor lad knowing just who Player is and becoming well-acquainted with their native brand/language of insanity)

Having no combat skills whatsoever (or people skills, according to Player), but if there's a math puzzle (like algebra/geometry) or a riddle or a word puzzle or--just. Puzzles. They'll figure it out (even if it takes a while and a lot of frusterated tears)

Walking back into the room you just left to go get the thought you left behind. Brain refusing to do. No thoughts, head empty, braincells are that SpongeBob meme where they're all screaming and everything is on fire. Queer Panik(TM). Annoying the pubby (Wolfie) because you know he won't hurt you (all bark no bite). Struggling to remember the word for a leaf so you call it a "boney boneless green vegan patty hand thing." Drawing a smiley face on someone's face in permanant marker. Up(down)grading them to UwU

I may have been thinking about Player AUs for a WHILE and been stocking up. Oops 🤗😬😓

AAAAAA I LOVE THIS SO MUCH LET'S DO THIS!!

The Player being the emboidment of "I've met some insufferable people but those people have also met me"

The potential you talk about? I plan on writing that shit. This Player, while acting normally to the circumstances they will face will be dragged kicking and screaming while playing it off as a joke the entire time.

Also the idea of another Player? Absolute anarchy. Gremlin stance and both ready to fight, the Chain don't understand, wouldn't you be happy with someone else there with you?! But here you are pulling at each other's hair and screaming things they don't understand.

"THIS TOWN AINT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US, FUCKER"

"THEN START FUCKING RUNNING, CLOWN"

It's like siblingship but they're 2 complete strangers.

If you know Fred and George from Harry Potter (Fuck JK fucking Terf cunt) then that would be their dynamic.

Just trauma dumping as well.

"Parents made me walk home in the dark after 'back talking' them in the car, you?"

"Single mum, but she's awesome, however, my brother used to terrorise me when she wasn't home. Chased me with a knife on more than one occasion, even a chainsaw, threatened to kill me if I told anyone though. Wasn't surprised to find out he was a narcissist"

"Fucking hell dude"

Hyrule just "Both of you here, now, I'm giving you hugs"

(Players being American and English respectively because that's just how I see it)

Brain, head empty until it comes to puzzles. One's like "Puzzles, Puzzles, Puzzles!" and the other's like "....Puzzles"

The Chain just have to witness them shouting at each other about possible answers before another fight breaks out that they have to pull apart.

"STOP GASLIGHTING ME"

"I'M NOT GASLIGHTING YOU, YOU'RE JUST DUMB"

Just complete chaos

#Cloud answers #Anon asks

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fugaciousgloom · 4 years

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I’m bored, so here’s some of the pregame headcanons asd plotlines I was talking about.

I’m just going to go by who comes to mind first:

Maki:

Collects information for money, mostly about her peers.

Runs a podcast about Danganronpa murders and motives.

Favorite Danganronpa series is Ultra Despair Girls, she thinks it’s criminally underrated.

Only friends with Kaede, Rantaro, and Shuichi, but considered popular because Kaede and Rantaro are.

Carries a switchblade/pocket knife on her at all times.

Has been suspended twice for smoking in the school bathrooms.

She purposefully started acting out after almost getting adopted from the orphanage because she didn’t want to be adopted.

Has made multiple attempts to run away with Shuichi, but has always been caught.

Shuichi:

Kyoko kinny and will fight any haters.

Outcasted at school for strange, obsessive behaviors.

Gets into petty fights a lot and has to have his ass saved by Maki every other day.

Listens to Maki’s podcast religiously.

Sneaks out with Maki and her friends to see Danganronpa episode premieres that play in the town square.

Has every murder, motive, killer, and victim memorized and quotes characters a lot.

Can be really possessive and is aggressive to anyone who gets too close to his close friends and Maki.

Kaede:

Really, really sadistic.

Ibuki and Sayaka were her favorites and she cosplays as them a lot.

Rich Girl™.

Has auditioned for Danganronpa at least three times since Freshmen year.

One of, if not the, most popular girls in school.

Has a twin sister that hates Danganronpa.

Begs Tsumugi to recommend her for Danganronpa.

Himiko:

Most people in school either fear her or hate her.

Will not hesitate to slap a bitch.

Always has candy on her to keep her blood sugar up.

Gets really bored really quickly.

Has no interest in watching Danganronpa, but auditioned anyways just for the thrill of it.

Pretty laid back until you piss her off.

Tsumugi:

Works at Danganronpa studio as a costume designer and advertiser

Is rumored to have killed someone.

People approach her to try and get ahead in casting or meet past killing game participants, even though neither are in her control.

Pulls out her Monokuma and Junko voice randomly to surprise people and amuse her friends.

Hosts Danganronpa servers from multiple platforms and runs the official Danganronpa social media accounts.

Kokichi:

Despises Danganronpa, but pretends to like it to fit in.

Only friends are Shuichi, Himiko, and Angie.

Lumped in with the weird kids.

Cares about everyone a lot, but acts aloof.

Bad Liar™, but lies a lot anyways.

Was friends with Miu and Rantaro in middle school, but stopped when they both became popular.

Has never smoked or drank in his entire life despite the pressure from his friends.

Tenko:

Angie and Rantaro were the ones to introduce her to Danganronpa.

Sakura Stan.

Lives in a very toxic, misogynistic household with her father and three brothers.

Flirts to get her way.

Tried to teach herself Aikido, but quit after her father caught her.

Used to be popular, but an incident occurred between her and Kirumi that made everyone in the school outcast her.

Angie:

Rumored to be possessed by a demon.

Loves the occult.

The school weird kid.

The only open Lebsian in the school.

Monokuma has always and will always be her favorite.

Usually lumped in with people like Korekiyo, Kirumi, and Kokichi.

Korekiyo:

Awkward as fuck.

Covers his face out of shame.

Has violent, angry episodes where he lashes out at anyone nearby.

His classmates are lowkey afraid of him.

Rumored to be a serial killer.

Despises every kid in school besides Angie and Himiko.

Has a sick sister who's been in the hospital since he was a little kid.

Kirumi:

Extremely egotistical and self centered.

Everyone in her school thinks shes a bit of a weirdo.

Auditioned for a main role in Danganronpa.

Often talks about her plot to win Danganronpa and get the prize.

It makes most of her classmates uncomfortable.

Desperate to be popular.

Miu:

Has an attitude and is bot afraid to speak her opinions.

Always wanted to be a scientist, but was made fun of as it contrasted how she presented herself visually.

Soda kinny.

Is grossed out by the thought of sex, but acts as if shes done it a million times before.

Honestly doesn't even like Kaede or her friends, but stays because it keeps the target of bullies off her back.

Makes fun of Kiibo every chance she gets.

Kiibo:

He is a human.

Rarely shows emotion, but he feels a lot of emotions.

His father owns a tech company and is often away. Because of this, they don't talk much and Kiibo doesn't know much about his father.

Bullied harshly. They call him a robot and even go so far as to threaten him.

Smart when it comes to math and science, but has trouble with more creative subjects.

Rantaro:

Rich and popular.

Girls confess their love to him every single day, but he turns them all down.

His parents are literally never home since they travel for work, so he hosts most of the parties.

Kept hanging out with Tenko after she was outcasted because he sympathized with her.

Closeted gay, but openly flirts with guys in his grade (mostly Kaito). Everyone assumes he's joking.

His sisters are also really into Danganronpa and encouraged him when he told them he was auditioning.

Gonta:

Very intimidating.

Always scowling.

He's actually a big teddy bear, but people still avoid him.

The only person that hangs out with him is Ryoma, who sometimes drags Kirumi to sit with them.

Likes bugs because he thinks they are misunderstood like him.

Once saw a student squash a spider and body slammed him.

Afterwards, rumours spread that he would lose control and attack anyone randomly.

Ryoma:

Has given up on life.

Approached Gonta because he didn't care if he was attacked (and was kind of hoping for it, honestly) and accidentally became friends with him.

His girlfriend died because of a local gang and he felt he couldn't do anything about it.

People think he has an addiction to cigarettes, but they're actually just candy cigarettes.

Always liked Leon and Mondo.

Kaito:

Infamous bully.

Targets anyone and everyone that's not in his close friend group.

Has sent multiple people to the hospital.

Secretly has an interest in the stars and can list off useless trivia about space.

A total closet case.

Lives with his grandparents who are very traditional.

Surrounded by toxic masculinity at home, so he puts himself out there as manly.

The only friend he "bullies" is Rantaro because he keeps making passes at him, but he can't bring himself to do anymore than light teasing and it drives him insane.

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imaginetonyandbucky · 7 years

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During his time on the run, Bucky accidentally got caught up in a crisis where the Avengers got called in and was rescued by Iron Man, who thought he was just a random (albeit cute) civilian. Bucky doesn't have the heart to tell him he wasn't really in danger, being a super soldier and all. Besides, it felt nice to be rescued and cared for (especially when his rescuer was admittedly kind of hot). Later when he joins the team he constantly refers to Tony as his hero just to make him blush.

My Hero

xxxBuckyxxx

“Sorry, dear, noplums. They’re a bit out of season,” the elder lady says, clearly too polite toimmediately tell me I’m stupid.

Not only are plumsout of season, but only an idiot or brainwashed, former HYDRA assassin from the40’s could ask for plums on an early spring farmer’s market. In Canada.

Ontario goddamn Canada!

Why did I move hereagain? Oh…because HYDRA was hot on my tail in Czechia, Steve and his pal almostgot me in Peru and I’m not even going to comment on what happened in Malaysia.So I thought Canada would be a perfect hideout for a moment. Too cold and tooclose to the US for my liking – something HYDRA would think as well. No HYDRAspotted for a month proves my theory correct.

No HYDRA but alsono plums. What a terrible trade-off.

“I have somesplendid, delicious apples though!”

“Thank you, I’llhave a pound or two,” I cave in underneath her bargaining skills and end upwith a bag full of admittedly nice, golden apples. They’ll have to do. I’mmoving back to Europe after I overstay my welcome here, that’s for sure.

“Is that a bird?”the elder asks, frowning at the sky.

I glance around myshoulder to see what she’s looking at and thatis not a bird! I grab my apples and the granny and jump out of the way of whatlooks like some kinda falling space debris.

Are the Russiansdecommissioning more space stuff?

Seconds later, thegranny’s stall is blasted off by the impact, the fruits and veggies flyingeverywhere.

I half-carry her tothe nearest store, kick open the door and push her in there. “Go inside!”

The square issuddenly in complete chaos, everyone’s running around, screaming, tripping overeach other. It’s just a falling debris people, calm the fu –

Why is the debrismoving?!

“Ow! You did thaton purpose didn’t you, J?! Nah uh! Don’t even, you little…just wait till I getback!” the not-debris rants, limbs struggling to untangle from the crash-landedmess.

(read-more ahead!)

Sound of very distinct,clear buzz of engines roars through the air and in a speedy landing maneuver, acompact flying craft I recognize only too well touches the ground at thefarthest side of the large square.

Great. Whenever Idodge HYDRA I end up with the Avengers. Can’t a guy get a month just tohimself?! Hell, a week at least!

“Watch out!”

I was beingmetaphorical about the whole dodging business, but leave it to that flyingpiece of junk that destroyed poor granny’s stall to smash into me full force, sendingus flying sideways.

Red, gold, flyingand metal – I don’t need the Winter Soldier’s restless presence at the back ofmy mind to tell me who just almost knocked the lights outta me.

Tony Stark. The Iron Man. Threat level: High. Captureor kill.

HYDRA’s little memoneeds to be updated. Threat level high?! Romanov is a high level threat, CaptainAmerica is a high level threat…Iron Man is a damn menace, ultra hazard to one’slife and market stalls!

The dust clearsafter our unceremonious landing and I’m left staring into wild hazel eyes of mywould-be savior. Okay, so maybe he did save me, seeing that the spot on thepavement I’ve been standing on two seconds ago is now a big smoking hole in thepavement. But that doesn’t change the fact that his one thousand pounds worthof metal is now squishing me to death…if I was just a random pedestrian and nota supersoldier, I’d be flat as a pancake by now.

Those expressiveeyes widen slightly and is that a blush right there?! “Sorry!” he blurts out,rolling off to finally let me breathe. “You okay?” he kneels next to me, metalfingers resting against my chest in a subtle gesture to keep me laying down.

I almost wanna rollmy eyes and tell him I’m the Winter goddamn Soldier, I most definitely didn’tneed saving and he doesn’t have to worry about me in the least!

Thing is, I am notthe Winter Soldier. I am Bucky Barnes and Bucky Barnes likes what he’s seeingright now very, very much. Talkin’ in third person too…great. HYDRA’s memoreally is useless; it completely forgot to mention how handsome Tony Stark is.Especially up close. Should have been listed in the threat level, to be honest.Damn HYDRA…

Stark frowns andsnaps his fingers in front of me. “Hey gorgeous, you still with me or what? Areyou hurt? Can you get up? D’you need a hand?”

“If it’s your handin marriage then yes, I need one,” I say before my brain can register thewords.

A startled chuckleescapes his lips – stop thinkin’ abouthis lips, Bucky! – and the blush intensifies. “You hit your head there,didn’t ya? Anyway, I gotta go. Have a date with funky alien projectile bugs.”

“I’ll fight themfor you.”

“Why thank you, buthow about I do the fighting and you do the staying low and safe, hm?” hesuggests, getting up.

“My hero,” I smirkup at him, starting to enjoy his flustered reaction.

“Stop flirting withcivilians and start blasting these things off!” some bow and arrow weirdoshouts from the top of a nearby statue causing Stark to roll his eyes.

“On it, Katniss!JARVIS! Where’s my helmet!” he yells and with a wink he disappears back intothe fray.

I jump back to myfeet and scatter out of the square that has now become a battlefield. Not thatI’d be threatened by…real funky alien projectile bugs. I could easily introducethem to my metal fist, but that would without a doubt not go unnoticed by theAvengers. I couldn’t dodge Iron Man but I’d rather not come face to face withany more Avengers, especially those that could recognize me.

I watch the fightfrom a safe distance, gaze lingering more and more on the red and gold flyingsuit of armor. A strange…fluffy feeling settles in my stomach, making theWinter Soldier all uncomfortable and growly and I honestly couldn’t care less. Fora fleeting moment there, I finally felt like Bucky Barnes. Not something inbetween or forgotten, incomplete.

One hundred percentBucky.

That’s part of whatI’ve been looking for these past few months on the run. Myself. Of course fatehas a sense of humor and would throw exactly that right in my face…or rather itthrew Tony Stark in my face and the rest just suddenly clicked into place.

Time to go back toEurope. And then…who knows.

xxxTonyxxx

Son of a bitch. Sonof a…okay, it’s probably my fault that I haven’t studied the Winter Soldier filesthoroughly enough and so wouldn’t be able to recognize Bucky Barnes even if Icrashed right into him.

Because that’sexactly what happened! I crashed right into him and did not recognize him.Smashed riiiiiiight into the Winter Soldier, thinking I was saving him. Me. Savingthe Winter Soldier. From some nasty alien critters he could probably squishwith his pinky.

Nope, it was worsethan that. I thought I just saved a random…cute…civilian. Cute!

I thought the WinterSoldier was cute! Steve’s bestgoddamn friend Bucky Barnes!

Who turned up atthe Tower a couple of days ago, after almost a year on the run. And few monthsafter our little impromptu meet & greet in Canada. The hell was he doing inCanada?!

Not that itmatters. What matters is the fact that the former HYDRA assassin, who strikesfear even in Natasha ninja Romanov when it comes to it, waltzed into the Towerafter being cleared by SHIELD, his trusty best pal Steve right next to him and oncehe greeted all the other Avengers and turned to me, that little bastard grinnedlike a madman and said:

“Oh hey, it’s myhero from Ontario! Hi there.”

He even made itrhyme…I was done! So done, I was…blushinglike an idiot. Tony Stark, blushing like an idiot in front of everyone. And theman who caused it seemed to be enjoying every second of it.

Damn him!

If only it were justthat one time but oh nooooo. Ever since then, he obviously made it his personalmission to throw that Canadian incident at me every chance he got.

“Ah! Thanks for brewing the coffee, it’s amazing! Stilla hero, even this early in the morning.”

“That’s it? The joint’s been drivin’ me nuts for daysand you just smack it with a screwdriver a couple times and it’s as good asnew? You’re my hero.”

“I’m just saying, for the record, JARVIS is a godsend!I’d be so lost without him. Guess the kudos goes to the superhero that createdhim. Super in every way and a hero through and through.”

Every. Chance. He.Got.

And he got me blushinglike a crazy teenager every time.

My hero.

He keeps calling methat like I am some kinda savior of his sent from the God above! From what Iremember, one of those damn bugs slammed into me mid-air and I plummeted downlike a comet…that’s hardly a divine intervention.

And I doubt he evenneeded saving! I watched him train with Rogers yesterday, he does not need saving, alright?

So here I am,sipping on my morning coffee, wondering how this is my life now. Can’t even goone day without him…without him…flirtingwith me? Is that what he’s doing? Why would he be doing that? With me? He’s the one that can make Thor andhis biceps run for his money. And me? I’m…not thirty anymore. Barely funny,barely…desirable. He’s probably just making fun of me and here I am, the foolwho’d think he’s actually interested in -

“Can ya open thefridge for me?”

“Hm,” I hum,automatically opening the fridge doors without looking at the newcomer.

Yeah. He’s makingfun of me, that must be it. I know Steve never really got over his dislike forme but at least he’s not being cruel about it. Bucky’s fucking savage about it!

“Thanks…my hero,”the person currently stuffing the fridge with vegetables whispers and I almostspit the coffee right there and then.

“Oh for fuck’ssake, you two! Get a room already or somethin’,” Clint complains, shoving twomore bags into Bucky’s arms to unload into the fridge.

“Since when isanyone around here going grocery shopping? That’s what deliveries are for!” Istare at the bags, not meeting their eyes because of course I’m blushing again!

“Shopping’s relaxin’,I love it! The local market’s the best. They’ve got plums,” he adds with asmall smile.

“Of course they’vegot plums, what do you mean? They’ve got everything! Welcome to the 21stcentury, Brooklyn boy.”

“Lovin’ the 21stcentury. So many…wonders around here these days.”

“Oooookay, that’sit!” I push the fridge close, making the supersoldier jump away. “You, out!” Iwave at Clint, who lingers curiously on the spot. “Out, now, Birdbrain!”

“Fine! Jeez, I’mgoing,” he mumbles and vanishes out of the kitchen.

“And you!” I pointmy finger at the startled man. “Are you done making fun of me?”

His upward quirk oflips fades at that. “What? Wait, I’m…how am I making fun of you?”

“You serious?!What, with all the ‘Oh Tony, you’re my hero! My savior!’ stuff?! How am Isupposed to understand that other than you making fun of me, hm?”

He widens his eyes,putting the bags down on the floor. “You think that I’m making fun of you…wheneverI call you that?” he asks and actually looks horrified, which in turn makes me horrified.

Oh oh. Did I screwup again? My brain to mouth filter, I swear to God…

“Yeah…? Yes. Aren’tyou? Because then I’m at a loss as to why would you call…uh…,” I stutter, eyinghim suspiciously as he walks closer, that small smile returning. “Me…uh…call methat. Why would you call me that,” I clear my throat.

“Why would I?” hechuckles. “Here I thought I was being so obvious and cheesy and…old-fashioned.Steve actually said I was being – and I quote – fucking stupid. Yes, he saidthat.”

“Obvious…stupid…what?”I blink in confusion.

“Obviously,stupidly in love,” he shrugs and looks away. “You look so cute and…oblivious wheneverI bring up Canada and…the whole ‘my hero’ thing. The blush looks good on ya soI figured I wouldn’t stop, just so that I could see it over and over again.”His smile drops again and suddenly he’s the shy one in the room. “If it’sbothering you I’m just gonna - ”

I’m a genius… or soI thought, until I’ve apparently completely missed the fact that yes, BuckyBarnes was flirting with me this whole time! Some genius I am…well, there’sstill hope for me yet.

So I kiss the manmid-sentence, putting a stop to any more blasphemous words coming out of thisgorgeous mouth.

“Not bothering me.At. All,” I whisper against his lips.

“Yeah I uh…kindagot that from the…the kiss,” he whispers back. “So…do I still get to call youmy hero whenever I want to?”

“Depends…do I getto kiss you whenever I want to?”

“I sure hope youwill,” he smirks, but it lacks his usual confidence. It’s shy and oh…why hellothere.

Turns out I’m notthe only one looking cute while blushing. Gonna have to do this a lot moreoften then, too…for science.

~Lantia

#winteriron #tony x bucky #tony stark #bucky barnes #post WS #no CACW #humor #fluff #Tony built the granny a new stall #happy endings everywhere #plums #cursing #prompts #lantia #Anonymous

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alicescripts · 7 years

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Part 2, Chapter 1: The Last Free Place

So to recap. Uh... Shit.

There’s a lot. Probably too much. Alice isn’t dead, let’s start there. I thought she was, but she isn’t. I’m not looking for her anymore. She asked me not to. She deserves to not be followed.

What she did was wrong. Someone doesn’t have to be perfect, or even good, to deserve not to be followed if they don’t want to be. The threshold for deserving that is just being a human being that isn’t a danger to anyone.

But I’m still out here. Still driving a truck. Still searching. Not for Alice but.. for understanding. She and I both worked for a transportation company called Bay and Creek. But Bay and Creek is not just involved in trucking and is apparently at war with a group of inhuman entities I call the Thistle Men, who are responsible for unsolved serial killings all over the country. The Thistle Men appear to do this with the knowledge and permission of the US government.

Oh man. That’s a lot when you say it all out loud like that. What am I doing? I should go home. But I can’t.

Alice isn’t dead, and neither am I.

I see their commander not two weeks later. I would have thought they would try to keep our routes separate, but maybe I’m below their worry, or even below their notice. And so the woman who led the Bay and Creek army that saved me back in the town of Thistle Men, I see her chatting at a distribution center outside of Omaha. She seems at ease, a truck driver on a smoke break. Talking, flirting maybe, with a warehouse worker. As she leaves, he hands her a piece of paper, which she puts in her pocket without reading. I don’t think they were flirting.

Then in Los Angeles a month after that, I see her again. She’s sitting in her truck, not looking at her phone, not reading a book, not anything. Only staring straight ahead. This time I decide to follow her. I will be late on delivery, I will be in a great deal of trouble, but I don’t think they will fire me.

Dead stop traffic in the valley. High above, way up there on the powerline, are three tiny birds. They sway as the line sways. At any moment they could take off. And then the car in front of me moves and so I move, and we inch forward a little more before stopping again.

An hour later, we come over the hill and there is an entire plain of suburbia laid out for me. Orange tile roofs, and the signs for Targets and Walmarts arrayed out into the distance like the flags of nation states, each one marking a place that is, in historical terms, mind-bogglingly huge. Forget the cavernous spaces inside, the aisles of products and the employee areas in the on-sight warehouse. And forget the roof of each of these megastores, maces of tar and ducts. Instead, just consider the parking lots. Acres and acres of lot for every acre of store. Entire medieval cities could fit into each one of these parking lots. At night, in the least lit corners, teenagers learn the best secrets of being an adult, before drudging the next day to their cashier jobs in Target or the cell phone stores, to learn the worst secrets of being an adult.

We give so much space to these lots, without considering what kind of space they take in our culture.

I follow her east. The hotter and drier the land gets, the more snow there is on the mountains above us. All through the desert here, patches of bright green, stands of trees and lawns, and hundreds of farm fields. They’re wrong against a landscape like this, sure, but extravagant in their wrongness. They are not like an ill-fitting toupee but.. like a towering purple and silver wig barely restrained by cavity. The green on the desert revels in its artificiality.

At sunset, the mountains go pink. And then the edge of the color slides up the slopes, a candy avalanche in reverse, until only the peaks glow. And then, all at once and together, the mountains lose the last of the light and become silhouettes, as though finally letting out a long held breath.

We pass Palm Springs and turn south toward the Salton Sea. An expanse of salt water created accidentally by a flood and maintained by agricultural run-off. With no natural flow of water in or out, the sea is destined to die, evaporating into an ever saltier state, and because of the fertilizers and the run-off, subject to algae blooms that cause mass die-offs in the fish.

When I was a kid, we lived near a lot of agriculture, and from the road we could see a pond near the edge of some fields. It had a little island in the middle, trees all around it. The water was bright green. One day, my friends and I snuck under fences, through the fields and to the pond. The entire bottom was lined with black plastic, something I realize only now was because they didn’t want whatever was in that pond seeping into the ground water. We swam for a couple hours, went home, showered and agreed that there was something wrong about the water there, and that we would never go back. Anyway, that’s basically the story of the Salton Sea. All of California spent their 50’s and 60’s sneaking into a pond of agricultural run-off, and then later realize that there was something wrong with the water and they should never go back. And so the resorts died, crumbling away or buried in mud.

We’re heading along the coast of the sea now. Oh shit! OK... OK. The road keeps dipping down and then up sharply, which is disconcerting in a truck like this. We pass these little dry steams, each one called a wash. I just… I just passed Butter Wash. [chuckles] That sounds pretty good. Hmm. Bug Wash. That sounds less good.

We’re turning off the highway in a town called Niland. At the hollowed-out ruin of a corner store, where someone has left a dog, a pony and a horse all hitched together under a broken wall. Past this is a scattering of houses and trailers, and then an electrical substation in some railroad tracks, and then a concrete pill box spray painted with the words “Slab City- the last free place”. Hm. The squatters’ city. A mixture of gutter punks and anarchists and artists and, just retirees looking to make their pension stretch. Anyone who wants a patch of land without worrying about paying for it. The last free place.

I’m keeping back, because there’s only one road in and out of Slab City, and a truck like this stands out on it. So I’m going to have to be very careful. What are those lights? [police car siren] Oh no. Oh God. Oh shit. Oh God. [anxious breathing]

The cop is sitting there. It’s been several minutes. They have not gotten out of the car. Lots of trailers in sight but no people. I think they scattered when they saw the cops. I would have.

The officer’s getting out, they’re walking toward me. I’m going to… I’ll leave the radio on, just in case.

Officer*: Hey. Hey.

Keisha: Hello, officer. How can I help you?

Officer: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?

Keisha: Uh, no. I-I think I was… Well how fast was I going?

Officer: I don’t know. That’s why I asked.

Keisha: ) have it on cruise control, but it should have been right around the speed limit.

Officer: Like to give up control?

Keisha: I’m sorry?

Officer: Don’t be. It’s a common wish. Life is so complicated, anything to make it more simple.

Keisha: I’m not sure what… How can I help you Officer?

Officer: What’s your name?

Keisha: Keisha.

Officer: OK Keisha, no problem. I need your license and registration, please. [paper rustling] OK. I’m gonna run these through the system. Sit tight.

Keisha: [sighs] Oh, Jesus.

Keisha: She’s been in her car for a while. Her uniform was weird, I can’t even put my finger on how. It seemed sloppy somehow, with a badge that looked like it was plastic. It’s probably just… she’s coming again.

Officer: You can have these back.

Keisha: Thank you.

Officer: Did you have a chance to visit the beach?

Keisha: The… beach?

Officer: Of the Salton Sea back there. It’s the weirdest beach ever, the sand isn’t right. It’s not the right texture. It’s covered in petrified fish.

Keisha: What is happening right now?

Officer: And then you look closer at the sand, you know, of the beach, and you realize the sand isn’t sand. It’s fishbone. The beaches are made of fishbone here.

Keisha: Is there a problem, officer?

Officer: I used to have this thing as a kid, I didn’t like uncovered windows. Mostly after dark, but sometimes during the light too. At night, I thought there was something out there watching me. Even if just a little sliver of the window wasn’t covered. I’d picture an eye pressed up against it. and then during the day, it was different. I would instead imagine some horrible creature shuffling around the house and they would be arriving that window soon, and they would see me but worse, I would see them. It’s a childish fear, but as you and I both know, not an unfounded one.

Keisha: Officer, I… was there a particular reason you pulled me over ?

Officer: You were going fast.

Keisha: I was going over the speed limit?

Officer: I have no idea. You were going fast. Big truck going fast, it’s exciting. Anything that big and fast, you wanna chase it.

Keisha: What department do you work for? Are-are you a State Trooper or..?

Officer: I’d have to check the car, I forgot what it said when I got in it.

Keisha: When you got in it?

Officer: It was dark. I’ve gotten more used to the dark. I’ve grown as a person. I would have thought you’d be proud of me.

Keisha: You aren’t a police officer at all, are you? You’re.. You’re a weirdo who stole a police car.

Officer: That’s an interesting theory. Here’s my badge.

Keisha: This doesn’t say any department on it. it says you are a… “police instigator”?

Officer: I could take off both.., your arms.

Keisha: What?!

Officer: With my own hands. No tools, I could take them off. I’ve done it before. It was easier than I thought it would be. [engine stars, stops] Trying to drive away would be a mistake, Keisha. I’m just here to talk.

Keisha: What do you want?!

Officer: You know, it’s been so long since anyone asked that. I was just thinking about it, standing on that beach made of bone. Near town with its cheery 50’s resort signs still up, a woman on water skis in a bikini and now the whole town shrugging its way into the silt. What do I want? [chuckling] I don’t know what I want. So let’s instead think about what you want.

Keisha: What do I want?

Officer: To be careful. You’ve seen things. We don’t like people who have seen things. I would say it makes us nervous, but we don’t have the capacity for nerves, so more it makes us agitated. It makes us wild. Have you ever been made wild?

Keisha: I-

Officer: It.. doesn’t.. matter, that was a rhetorical question. Or not a rhetorical question, what’s that word? Threat! I’m threatening you!

Keisha: OK, I… Now your turn to listen. I’ve faced fiercer dangers and walked out alive. I’ve seen things that I could never explain, not if I spent 100 more years talking into this radio. You want me scared? Officer, you have no idea. I’m always scared. You think fear is new to me, you think fear is the novelty that will change my behavior? For me, fear is living. And I’ve lived this long, haven’t I? I said haven’t I?

Officer: [pause 5 s] I like you. You’re the most interesting one yet, I can see why they sent me. They know I love the interesting ones.

Keisha: Who sent you, the police?

Officer: [scoffs] You think the highest it goes is some thugs in blue? You think the Thistle Men could live in peace on an air force space because some State Troopers are in on it? Police don’t understand. I feed on the police.

Keisha: Try to feed on me. You wouldn’t be the first.

Officer: Feed on you? We just met. We have so much more to get through first, Keisha. I take my time. Drive safe now, I’m letting you off with a warning. But remember.

Keisha: Yeah?

Officer: [pause 4 s] I could dismantle you with just my teeth. I’ve done that, too. I’ll be seeing you around, Keisha. This is gonna be a good time, I think. Isn’t it so nice, you know, you love your job?

Keisha: What just happened? [chuckles] Oh, Alice. This is much worse than the Thistle Men, I think. They were hungry but she… She was smart. She was very smart. I’m in a bad position here. I hope you’re safer. The woman I’m following is out of sight, of course. But there’s only one road in and out and nowhere else she could go. I just have to wait.

An entire day, by the way. An entire day I spent waiting and searching. A sculpture garden made of discarded junk. A library tucked away back among the sage and trailers. A towering monument to Jesus made of hay and latex paint. A squatter’s shack on a hill with a big yellow eye watching me. I don’t know how, but the woman from Bay and Creek and her entire truck vanished in the Last Free Place, among the trailers and abandoned military structures. I don’t know.

I think I should lay low a bit. I’m gonna head north, try to stay out of the radar. But the officer… She isn’t done with me. There’s bad trouble coming. I can tell you that, Alice. There’s some truly bad trouble coming.

*The “officer” is the same person who introduced themselves in bonus episode 3.

Joseph Fink: Alice Isn’t Dead, by Joseph Fink. Performed by Jasika Nicole. Produced by Disparition. This episode also featured the voice of Roberta Colindrez.

And now, a knock-knock joke. Knock knock.

[left speaker] Who’s there?

A sense of well-being.

[left speaker] A sense of well-being who?

A sense of well-being. A touch of the hand to snow. The way it feels good until it doesn’t. the way it only hurts later. The way that the world seems lighter, as in illumination. And the way the world seems lighter, as in weight. And the way the world seems lighter, as in stress. The way it seems like we’ve hidden all that was ugly under our fresh start until the friction of our movement starts churning all that was hidden back to the surface. Because it always resurfaces, because the dead return, because light reverses. Aren’t you glad I didn’t run screaming into the woods, never heard from again physically, impossible to stop hearing memory-wise?

If you enjoy this show, consider heading on over to aliceisn’tdead.com and checking out our T-shirts, which have the incredible skull truck logo by Rob Wilson. And be sure to check out the other shows from the Night Vale Presents network, including the scifi/romance/prison escape thriller/relaxation type show Within the Wires, and the surrealist beauty of Paris in The Orbiting Human Circus of the Air. And the show that started it all, Welcome to Night Vale, telling an ongoing story you can jump into at any time. Come join us in a little desert town where every conspiracy theory is true.

Meg Bashwiner: This has been a production of Night Vale Presents. Find out more about us and our shows at nightvalepresents.com.

#alice isn't dead #alice isn't dead transcripts #chapter 2 episode 1 #the last free place

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itsanoneg-blog · 6 years

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Why are all the attractive guys so insecure, and the ugly ones overly conceited? I will never understand.

Anyways, I know it hasn’t even been 10 days since we first started talking but I can tell, and others are even noticing how happy I have been the past week. I feel stress free, and so excited for some reason and I am not exactly sure why. I know he is the cause for me being happy but damn I am like overly happy. I haven’t been thinking of my past, or the negative things that have happened to me. Since we’ve started talking all I can think of is sunshine’s and daisies. Kidding! But seriously I’ve only been thinking happy things. He makes me so happy, and at the same time he makes me realize how stupid I was in the past. If him and I start dating eventually, which I really hope happens, I will not make a single mistake with him, I won’t mess up, I won’t hurt him, and I will be 100% true to who I am.

He has made me realize a lot about the guys I have dated, and about the guys I was into before him. I forgot what it felt like to like someone with similar interests. Since I’ve been single, the guys I’ve liked and crushed on had nothing in common with me. And I see this now because we have so many things in common. I realized I wasn’t being true to myself. I wasn’t searching for the right guy, I was searching for a guy. I wasn’t looking for another guy to come into my life just yet. I was so into Ryan. I went on Bumble last Monday night (not even sure why) and he was in my recent matches. I remember going through his profile and thinking “hmm he seems cool, fun, and his pictures are funny and dorky. But really is he the one?” I am not sure why, but I messaged him, not thinking anything of it. Never thought I’d start a conversation with a guy by saying “You look fun” LOL it worked. But when you and a guy bond over Avenged Sevenfold, he is worth the conversation. And I guess he liked that about me too, because that night (the fastest anyone asked to meet me) he asked me to meet up with him for a coffee. The more I talk to him and more I get to know him, the more I realize I need a guy who likes what I like.

Ryan: What did we have in common? He hated skinny jeans, he only wore running shoes (which I hate), he didn’t like sports aside from tennis. He didn’t like fast food, only drank water. Doesn’t drink alcohol at all which I can deal with, that’s not an issue. But he got mad at me for enjoying drinks with my friends and what not, which I am not okay with. I really don’t think he’d be someone who would come to a party with me and my friends or take me to a concert. He seems like the type who would laugh at me if I was being cranky, and probably call me a child, like he usually did. I asked him if he liked rollercoasters and his response was “Are we five? Oh wait, you are.” Seriously? You’re the same age as my cousin and her boyfriend, they enjoy having fun. Does that make them five as well? I hated that he downgraded me for my age. Why bother with someone who is four years younger than you then? I think I am pretty mature for my age, but I know how to have fun as well. Don’t take that away from me. I think he’d also laugh at me if I were to make him a birthday card, or give him a jar of hearts with memories on it, like I did for my ex. He hated my taste in music and would not even give it a chance. “Why should I listen to something that makes me want to go into a depression, and break things?” Uhm okay. That’s very judgmental, that is not what rock or metal music is about, but okay Mr. I am always right. Oh, and he hated tattoos and thought mine was dumb because it made no sense. It’s MY tattoo, it’s on MY body, it has meaning to ME. You haven’t heard the song, you don’t know the meaning behind it. He was always telling me to grow up, that I had to stand up to my parents. He put me in a position, and probably would put me in that position in the future, of choosing between him and my family. Which hands down I’d choose my family. I don’t know why I only realized this stuff now. I guess he wasn’t perfect after all. It may have been all looks, but even that wasn’t perfect, even though I thought it was. Personality has a lot to do with people I find attractive, and damn did he ever lack that. I felt like I had to change who I was when I was around him. I didn’t realize I was changing, but after being with Carlos, I realized yeah, I changed to please Ryan…

And now, everything that Ryan was, Carlos is not. He hits the looks spot on, he’s gorgeous. But his personality makes him even more perfect. He wears skinny jeans, and listens to my music, his music is even more intense. And those two things have a huge impact on guys I am into but this one is the entire package. I love Halloween and growing up I’ve always wished everyday was Halloween. I wanted to live in Halloween Town, just like the movie. Never thought I’d hear a guy tell me that he wished that too, but he did. He also loves Halloween just as much as I do. He took me to an escape room on our official first date. He said it was probably one of his favourite things to do. I’ve always loved doing escape rooms, so when he suggested that I got so happy, I was all for it. I love, love, love his sense of humor. He is sarcastic, funny, and so outgoing. He laughs at me because half of his jokes go way over and beyond my head. I like that he doesn’t judge. I like that he’s open and told me about his past, and his relationships and even his family. I love that we can sit there for hours, and just talk. He told me he is not the jealous type which is a huge bonus. Jealousy sucks! I did yell at him though on our first date. He told me he was dating a girl, and when they’d go out to like a club or a bar, she would get guys numbers, like the bar tender and security so she’d have first access on drinks and didn’t have to pay cover. Dude?! What?! No!! I gave him a punch. He’s like it made her happy, it hurt me yes but at least she was happy, and I know she wouldn’t cheat. I’m like you’re missing the whole point of a relationship, that’s not right. I would never do that to him. Especially if he was okay with it, doesn’t make it right. This guy is amazing, why would I need to flirt with anyone else? He’s two years older than me, and he has never used age to downgrade me. He doesn’t think I am immature, he doesn’t think it’s weird that my parents text me constantly when I am out. He’s like “You have a vagina, lmao your parents are always going to ask where you are, especially if you’re out with a weirdo like myself.” His family is the same way when it comes to his female cousins. Finally, I am glad someone understands, and won’t put me in a position to choose.

He’s just great. He’s smart, dorky, nerdy, funny, cute, outgoing, and super laid back. I like that he doesn’t flirt, like he hasn’t said anything flirty to me at all, or anything inappropriate either. I found it so cute the other day at his house. We laid upside down on his bed, with our heads hanging off and just starred at each other in the mirror. We looked like total messes and our hair was everywhere, but it was perfect. He’s so sweet. If my phone is getting a text he would be like “Oh a Bumble match, gotta go message that cutie.” He would hand me my phone, and not look at it. Where Ryan would look at who was texting me. It was only my cousin messaging me, and I told him he could look, and he said, “It’s your phone, you message who you want.” Or he bugs me and goes “Do you have your location on? You better send me a snapchat of everyone you’re with and a biography on them, so I know who you’re with” Mocking my ex is always fun haha. I just like that. I like his personality so much. I like that he is such a jokester. You can’t describe him, you just have to get to know him to know what he’s about. His forehead kisses are my favourite. The way he plays with my hair is so cute. When he hugs me, super tight and tells me I ain’t going anywhere, ugh! I can talk about him all day long. He is so respectful too. I can tell he isn’t using me for one thing, or leading me on. He asked about my ex, and asked if I still had feelings for him. I can tell he wants to see where things go with me. He accidentally touched my boob the other day when we were watching Netflix, and he’s like “OMG I am so sorry” and moved his hand right away. I started laughing. Guys don’t do that. They accidentally touch you on purpose hoping it leads to something more.

In all honesty though, I haven’t dated someone in a while. Like how long do you see someone before they ask you out? Honestly my last three relationships happened so quick and they all fell apart. I hope this one doesn’t. I honestly can’t wait to see him again. He finally sent me a snapchat of himself this morning and I couldn’t stop smiling. What the fuck is wwrongggggg with me!?

“Oh god don’t tell me you like Simple Plan?”

“Are you dumb? Of course I do! They’re like my fave, they got me through highschool.”

Pushes me off the bed. “Get out!”

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