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#as boston looking like he also cannot believe what he is doing but with a determination of someone who thinks he can only be right and that

celaenaeiln · 7 months

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Hiii, I don't really know if you made a post about this or not, but can I ask what you think of damian and dick's relationship? you have a really deep insight on the bat family's relationship, so I'm curious on how you would describe those two

Damian and Dick are probably the most important to each other in the family with the other being each other's most favorite person in the world. Dick is Damian's father, brother, mentor, and best friend. Actually it's reflective of Dick's relationship with Bruce but none of the toxic expectations and brute force of misplaced responsibilities.

Dick is loving and understanding of Damian and he's able to read him before Damian can even express his words.

For example, when the Black Lantern things open the caskets of Martha and Thomas Wayne, Dick asks Damian to help him wrap up the bodies but-

Blackest Night: Batman Issue #1

He's able to anticipate and take care of Damian before Damian can even tell him what he's thinking. That's the level of love and understanding Dick has of him.

Damian is insanely protective over Dick. When Deadman, Boston Brand, jumps into Dick, Damian gets super protective of his Batman.

Blackest Night: Batman Issue #1

Also Dick CANNOT STAND IT when someone hurts or insults Damian.

Blackest Night: Batman Issue #1

Honestly I think Dick loves Damian's sass. Even when he says he wants to kill people Dick's just like, "not today another day kiddo" which is just super heartwarming when you hear their banter.

Anyways, Dick and Damian have the funniest back and forth!

Batman and Robin (2009) Issue #21

Damian values each and every word of Dick's.

Batman: Streets of Gotham Issue #1

While Damian respects Batman for what he created and wants to be appreciated as his son, Damian just loves Dick for who he is. I know some people think Bruce may be jealous of Dick and Damian's relationship, and while it's possible, I think Bruce is just super proud and happy. His greatest joy in life comes from Dick succeeding and he would have found it weird if Dick and Damian didn't get along because he inherently believes that Dick is the peak of goodness.

What I love most about Dick and Damian is that Damian is always shown as a loveable kid when he's with Dick. In the Batman and Robin (2011) comics with Bruce and Damian vs the Batman and Robin (2009) comics with Dick and Damian, Damian is much softer. Part of this comes from Bruce's refusal to treat him as robin originally, but their interactions are more stilted than the easy-going and funny ones between Damian and his big brother. But here's where it gets interesting. The writers write the characters in terms of how they would react to each other. What perception they would have of each other. So subconsciously the writers are creating the characters based on how they look at each other - meaning, Dick only sees Damian's good sides and finds his darker ones humorous whereas Bruce sees more of Damian's darker sides and has to rework himself to acknowledge Damian's growth.

I find that so fascinating how a character's personality in accordance with their relationships feeds back into the writer's writing rather than the writer influencing the relationships.

The most Dick has said about Damian willing to kill criminals is-

Batman: Streets of Gotham Issue #3

Another reason why Damian values Dick aside from being on the receiving end of his unconditional love is that Dick treats Damian like an equal. Dick doesn't command Damian to stay at his side at all times, he send Damian to do one task while he finishes up the other half. This indicates the amount of trust and faith he has in Robin's abilities and Damian in turn respects that.

Something that needs to be brought to attention is that just as much as Dick stops Damian from killing people, he is also his number one aiding and abetting partner.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #1

I LOVE THE MEAN LITTLE GRIN ON HIS FACE!!

My favorite part is Dick makes time for Damian just to have fun. He's a mentor and a father, but he's also the best brother someone could ask for.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #4

Honestly Gotham War Issue #138 was so confusing to me because there's just no way Damian would pander mindlessly to receive Bruce's acceptance. He literally broke from Batman to become his own person - he ran away - and suddenly he's back and begging for Bruce's love?? Even fighting over Dick is fine but the lack of connection between them?

Damian is single handedly the most important person in the world to Dick.

Damian is Dick's son.

Robin (2021) Issue #5

I find their relationship special because this is the only in his entire time life that Dick has ever given away a family momento of his own volition first. His parents and his background mean the utmost to him; he cradles the memories with longing and love. But inspite all this, he's giving away the last piece of family history. No, giving away isn't the right word. He's passing down his legacy. Damian is his son, he's literally inheriting the Grayson legacy in the way that only Dick can give. Bruce gave the kids Dick's mantle but he cannot give any of them Dick's history but Dick gave that to Damian. That's beautiful.

He straight up says it too

Nighwing (2016) Issue #20

"When your dad came back, there was a moment I thought it would be better for you if you stayed with me. As my partner. As my..." "Really?" "Yeah."

DC SAID DICK AND DAMIAN FATHER AND SON RIGHTS AS CLOSE AS THEY COULD WITHOUT TAKING AWAY BRUCE'S BLOOD CLAIM.

Damian considers Dick his father.

Nighwing (2016) Issue #18

"Finding a new life. Considering a child to replace me. I don't know what I will be...alone. I need you here, Richard."

"Considering a child to replace me. "

Damian is heartbroken at the idea that Dick will have a kid and move on.

He loves Dick so much he goes all the way to Bludhaven just because he loves and misses him after Bruce took over as Batman.

Nighwing (2016) Issue #20

Batman Incorporated (2012) Issue #8

"Are you with me Nightwing? The odds are completely against us."

"When did we ever let something like that get in the way? Robin the boy wonder, Damian."

Batman Incorporated (2012) Issue #8

"So far I'd say you've been my favorite partner. We were the best, Richard. Not matter what anyone thinks."

Robin (2021) Issue #5

Nightwing (2016) Issue #20

The world can stand against Damian but Dick will always be on his side.

Which is a problem in recent DC works because

Dick & Damian:

og panels Batman & Robin (2009) Issue #17

#honestly I didn't even do them enough justice: but I also couldn't upload entire comics either #their relationship moments are spectacular - all of them #dick grayson #nightwing #damian wayne #robin #batman dick grayson #damian grayson #damian wayne loves dick grayson #dick grayson loves damian wayne #cl anon asks #thanks for the ask!

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sturniololoco · 3 months

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Shy

Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4

Sturniolo Little Sister (SLS) x The Sturniolo Triplets

SLS x Nathan Doe

Warnings: kissing, language, etc. Pure fluff!

SLS/N's POV

I woke up in Matt's bed, alone, unlike last night when I fell asleep with him watching a movie. I fell asleep in a pair of Chris's boxers and one of Nick's hoodies, looking like a train wreck. I throw my hair in a messy bun and then check the time.

11:15 am. Damn, I slept in.

Yawing, I quickly stood up and made my way to the kitchen. I heard my brother's voices coming from the couch as I walked in.

Only it wasn't just my brothers.

Sitting on the couch were Nick, Matt, Chris, and Nathan, who I completely forgot flew in from Boston this morning. He gave me a small smile as I met his eye.

They all turned and stared at me. I immediately felt my face turn red as I looked down at my feet awkwardly.

"Oh good! Sleepy head his up." Nick said. I gave a fake little laugh as I backed out of the room, mumbling something about getting ready. Once I rounded the corner, I sprinted to my room.

I cannot believe I just walked into a room with Nathan Doe, looking like absolute shit.

I changed into some cargo jeans and a crew neck, I also curled my hair and added some light makeup to my face. I was desperately trying to revive my first interaction with Nate.

I walked downstairs again, trying a new technique, rather than boxers and a baggy sweatshirt.

When I got downstairs, everyone was still on the couch, but now they had bagels. I grabbed one and sat next to Chris, who just so happened to be a couch cushion away from Nate.

"Well didn't someone dress up all fancy? Big difference compared to Matty's boxers." Chris said, nudging me in my side. I punched him lightly in the shoulder, giggling as my face turned red again. Nate laughed with us, meeting my eye again.

"So, what should we do today?" Nick asked the group, all of us finishing the last of our bagels.

"Top Golf?" Matt suggested. We all nodded in agreement.

"Sounds good to me!" Nate said cheerfully. He stood up to throw his plate away, but as he passed me, he said,

"Lemme get that for you." As he took my plate for me. I smiled at him for a split second before looking away and mumbling thanks, my cheeks feeling hot.

As the smallest, I usually sit in the middle back whenever we have company riding in the car with us. Only this time, I was squished between Nick and Nate, our legs constantly touching.

I felt the butterflies rise in my stomach with every little movement, my heartbeat quickening its pace.

But we soon arrived at top golf, our legs separating as we got out of the car.

About halfway through a basket of donut holes later, it was my turn to swing again. I placed my ball on the T and swung, barely missing the little red one. My brothers have always been better at gold than me.

"Oh, that was so close SLS/n! But here, try more like this next time." Nate said, walking towards me.

He wrapped his arms around me, grabbing my hands and helping me swing. He was talking, but I wasn't comprehending. The only thing I could think of was how close we were.

"...Got it, SLS/N?" Nate finished.

"I-Um... yeah, thanks," I said, quickly averting my eyes from his perfect smile. He stayed up at a matt since it was his turn, while I bolted to sit next to Nick. I could feel the heat all over my face.

"Someone blushing again," Nick said, nudging my shoulder. I gave him a Please don't say a word look and he just chuckled and then stood up, going to take his turn. But to my surprise, his seat was filled by Nate moments later.

And the cycle continued.

It was late. 1:04 am to be exact.

Everyone came home exhausted from our day of fun, showered, and then hit the hay. Except for me.

I woke up thirsty, so I walked down to the kitchen, turned on the overhead lights, then filled a cup with water.

As I was taking small sips of my water and scrolling through my notifications on my phone, I saw someone's hands being placed on the counter on both sides of me.

I quickly spun around, almost spilling my water and dropping my phone in the process, and came face to face with Nate.

I let out a breathy laugh, saying,

"Holy shit, you scared the fuck outta me!" He laughed lightly, giving me a lazy smile, his arms still on either side of me, trapping me.

Butterflies.

Our noses were only centimeters apart, and Nate was only leaning in closer.

God, I hope I don't have morning breath, I thought as he gently laid his lips against mine. He smelled amazing and tasted even better.

After a couple of seconds, he started to move his lips along mine, deepening the kiss. Just when I was starting to get the hang of it, he pulled away.

My face got hot and turned beet red as I rested my forehead on his chest, hiding my face.

"No, no, none of that. Don't get all shy on me baby." he said, laughing lightly as he used his index finger and thumb to lift my chin. I looked into his eyes, and just as I thought he was about to kiss me again, he backed up, moving his arms.

"You should go back to bed, you need rest." He then reached behind me and grabbed my water glass, taking a sip, and then handed it to me. I took it, staring at him dumbfounded as he walked back to Chris’s room.

Shortly after, I did the same. But as soon as I laid down, my phone buzzed.

It was a text from Nick.

I fucking knew it.

Pt. 2????????

Lemme know!

#nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo smut #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo sister #nathan doe #nathan doe x reader #nathan doe smut #the sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo x reader

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vegasandhishedgehog · 6 months

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Seeing a lot of upset posts about how the show ended with Boston and feeling like something really went over a few heads. Do I also believe Boston deserved better? Yes. But let's be realistic in the way Jojo and Ninew approached this.

Boston and his promiscuity have been the target of harsh judgements from episode one. And the writers have stated that he has a moral code, it's just very different from others. I was never expecting him to state it outright, that it would just be a thing worth paragraphs of speculative meta, but he does!

Boston stated his definition of boyfriend. If he wants to be exclusive, that's for all the emotional bonding that he desires with someone special, but does not deny him the ability to fulfill his physical desires with whomever he wishes. That's not just polyamory, it's a very specific kind!!! And it's entirely different from the traditional sort of relationship society has accepted. The thing is, he wouldn't have discovered that possibility without knowing Nick.

Boston did genuinely fall for Nick. But how could he have handled that properly when he has no experience being loved and has never learned how to love someone back? Moreover, how could he come to the conclusion that he likes being exclusive in one way but not another without absolutely fumbling the bag with someone who's on a different page? It's not exactly Nick's fault that he prefers physical affection to be exclusive as well, that's just how he is. There couldn't have been any discussion about this, it was a discovery in the making.

The truth is Boston would still have a hard time finding happiness in Thailand due to the political climate, especially with his father being a politician. He's gay and that alone makes achieving his dreams more difficult, but being as promiscuous as he is means even a majority of the queer community will shut him out. He's better off moving to the states where at least he has rights and better acceptance for who he is. And that's what happened.

Because having a sexual or romantic appetite outside of monogamy is still looked down on. I still see it in the BL fandom. I see it just in general. 3 Will Be Free is so often cited as a must-watch, but how many people stick to their comfort branded pairings?* How many people have made or heard jokes about the "Seattle polycule"? How many romantic aces and allosexual aros get othered and excluded and judged for their identity?

Jojo said there was no intended message, but that doesn't mean there isn't one to be found. Boston's arc is a prime example of how slutty queers get treated even by their own peers, even by people who care about them most. It's a cry from the cold and lonely dark that if we think these people deserve better, we need to change existing paradigms and find how we can give them that!

Nick wasn't prepared to do that because he is still hurting, and that's also okay. Not everyone has to change themselves to make the puzzle pieces fit. Boston and Nick's story centers around that so much. Nick being jealous and trying to copy Top, Boston trying to be what he thinks a boyfriend is - they only hurt each other because the parts that don't fit are digging in.

I hope we get a second season, but if not friends, remember Boston. He represents such a particular demographic that gets hated on and ignored constantly, and they deserve a chance. They're not easy, but that doesn't mean they're not worth it. Remember Nick too. We all have a Nick in some manner - someone that made us want to try, but no matter how much we cared for each other it just wasn't going to work. Family, friends, partners, whoever.

Instead of being outraged with the show, be outraged with society. Do something about it. Be kinder. Community is important, now more than ever. I cannot possibly overstate how much we need community, especially among minorities.

*this isn't meant to be judgmental toward fans who prefer branded pairings or aren't interested in that particular show. I know watching anything requires time and energy and scratching a certain itch at the right moment. It is, however, a concern that so many fans complained about numerous aspects of OF to the point where the creators went to the effort of explaining themselves on a weekly basis and editing certain parts to avoid backlash. I mentioned 3 Will Be Free because it's another example of Jojo's work. Many BL fans have heard of it, but only a small portion seem to have watched, and that can be an indicator of certain biases. This is not to imply anyone who hasn't seen it has said biases and is only intended to encourage reflection if needed.

#boston only friends #nick only friends #bostonnick #boston x nick #only friends the series #only friends #ofts #jojo tichakorn #neo trai #mark pakin #neomark

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respectthepetty · 4 months

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I think Mark is like… a vampire or something, does he ever sleep?

He is on every GMMTV SHOW!! I just keep thinking of that clip of him in school president when am he says “ I’m playing the vicar, the father and every other character” (or something like that! I forget!

so……. Would you like to Rate the shows Mark has been in? 👀

Anon, I cannot rate the shows Mark has been in because if Mark is in them, they have to be good, but I will rank them based on how much I loved Mark in them because I think he is beautiful AND talented (which is why this badminton world champion is on my list of GMMTV's best actors).

Ranked - Mark Pakin's Series

Honorable Mention - Cooking Crush - Dynamite

I think Aungpao is doing a great job as Dynamite in Cooking Crush, but I can't help but think what it would have been to see Mark in that role as originally intended. It sucks that Mark is overbooked, which I'm assuming was the reason he couldn't commit to Cooking Crush since he was filming Last Twilight, but it's a good problem to have for such a talented man, so I hope he continues to stay booked and blessing me with his face on my screen each and every year.

#8 - High School Frenemy - Chatjen

This show was barely announced, so it's possible it might not even make it to air, but that's not why it's last. The show is a remake of a Korean series, and word on the street is the original was not gay, like at all, which is wild since the entire pilot trailer for the Thai version seemed very homosexual to me! There was a rooftop and everything! But it also looks like our boy is about to be bullied, and I'm not here for it. Therefore, LAST!

#7 - Bad Buddy - Chang

Mark played in Bad Buddy? Notice that is a question and not a statement because, although I don't remember a lot of Bad Buddy because we have beef, I truly only remember Drake and Jimmy as friends since I wanted them to be a couple (Korn x Wai ghost ship!). I wasn't aware of either Marc or Mark playing Pat and Pran's friends. Mark was there when Pat got shot. Mark was there when they told Pran that Pat got shot. He is in the photo outside of the hospital room because Pat got shot, and I still am like, "Was Mark really in the show?"! I even had to look up what his character's name was on MDL. I still don't believe he was in it. I don't care what Our Skyy said. This is the Mandela Effect.

#6 - I Promised You the Moon - Mek

I do remember Mark in I Promised You the Moon, so this ranking is purely because I'm petty and got beef with this series, specifically Teh, which means Mark has to suffer too. Mark played Mek who was Teh's roommate. After Teh FUCKED UP, Mek was nice to him when he really didn't have to be because Teh was being an ASSHOLE to him, but that's why I loved Mek. He could've thrown hands with Teh in that room, but instead gave Teh some tough love by telling him his crying was annoying, and he needed to get it together. Then, he invited Teh to go eat with him. He still could've smacked Teh though and cemented this as Mark's number one role.

#5 - Last Twilight - Night

The only reason this is ranked this low is because I haven't had enough of him in the show. He is not the lead. He is a supporting character (AS USUAL, GMMTV!), so I can't expect him on my screen every single second, but I need far more of him in the last quarter of this series. Also, the show is setting up Night to be the cause of Day's accident, but it's too late for me to feel bad about any of this. I needed to know that information by episode three. Now we are over halfway done, Mork and Day are fulfilling the gay agenda, Phojai is about to get a rich husband, and Night is going to inherit a beautiful family, so let bygones be bygones, and GIVE MARK A LEADING ROLE ALREADY!

#4 - Only Friends - Nick

If I was really petty, this wouldn't have even been on the list because Nick should have been so much worse. He recorded Boston and Top having sex. He told Mew about Boston's non-consensual sex tape. He lied to Boston. And yet . . . I wanted him to do more! Nick could have blackmailed Top. Nick could've ruined Mew's life. Nick could've hurt Ray via Sand! Nick could've been a baddie, but instead he was a saddie. Mark finally got to kiss a homie, but at what cost? I feel Mark could've done so much more in this role. Honestly, all the actors could have, but they were held back, so here Nick sits in the middle. Not good. Not bad. Just average.

#3 - My School President - Thiu

This 'fit alone deserves our recognition because Mark was playing a high schooler yet looking too fine in this top. He needed to put that hotness away around those children. But in regards to his character, as you mentioned in the ask, he was EVERYTHING! He was trying to keep the student council solid since Tinn was too busy crushing on Gun. He was playing matchmaker. He was dating Por all season, and this is not up for debate. He was a director for the band's music video and was basically their manager. Homie was doing it all and still had time to look fine. What a guy!

#2 - Moonlight Chicken - Saleng

I wrote an ode to Saleng being my Thai primo. He lived for the chisme and was the biggest shit starter in the family, yet Li Meng called him first after the accident, and he was right there when their community mother passed away. Aof, who is behind Moonlight Chicken and Last Twilight, really let all the characters shine in this series, but Mark did amazing with the little amount of screen time he had, which gives me hope that his Last Twilight character will rise in the rankings as that series comes to a close. This role was so good that I was torn between this and the one I ultimately selected as number one, but honestly, both roles could be number one depending on my mood. Do I want family-oriented fun times Saleng or do I want . . .

#1 - The Warp Effect - Jedi

The entire cast of The Warp Effect was elite status. Every character was great. Every storyline was good. Every discussion about sex was outstanding. But Mark as Jedi lives rent free in my head, specifically the scene where after working out, he fucks his girlfriend from behind over the kitchen counter! Then, he experiences pain because he has a STI! This leads to an entire education about open relationships, sexual health, communication, and trans healthcare since his girlfriend is trans. Jojo was the screenwriter and director for both Only Friends and The Warp Effect, so I like that both of Mark's sexier roles are due to Jojo's vision, and I hope Mark gets to work again with either Aof or Jojo because Mark is at his best when he is allowed to play an adult man who knows what he wants and how to get it.

And believe me, he could get it.

#Mark Pakin #this man is beauty and grace #and he could slap me in my face #ranking his characters #because why not?

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slayerkitty · 7 months

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On Top and Mew and "but there's a perfectly good bed right there!"

After last week's episode of Only Friends had Top and Mew having sex on the couch in Top's room and not on the perfectly good, wonderfully large and comfortable looking bed, I made a post about it, because it felt like the show was trying to say something but I wasn't sure what.

@sunshinechay pointed out that something similar happened in Between Us, with WinTeam. (*spoilers for Between Us so if you haven't seen it, you might wanna avert your eyes, lol*). Win and Team's relationship begins as a situationship where they end up having sex in several places that are not either of their own beds (bed at a resort, locker room, bar bathroom, bed at another resort).

For the bulk of the series, the only thing they do in their own beds with each other is sleep. As @sunshinechay reminded me, it was because of the disconnect between Win and Team and the undefined nature of their relationship that kept them from having sex in one of their own beds. Canonically, the only time we see any kind of sex in one of their beds is on Valentine's Day, near the end of the series. And it's because they have defined their relationship, admitted feelings and are on the same page with each other. The disconnect is gone.

When this was pointed out in regard to Top and Mew, it felt like this concept applied to them too. In episode one, Top and Mew have this really amazing talk over ice cream and when Mew lets Top sleep over, they cuddle in Mew's bed. They were on the same page. There was trust.

In episode two, when Top reveals his sleep issues (and potential PTSD??), Mew isn't sure if he believes him. But he likes Top and feels bad, so he cuddles with Top on the couch. Everyone made the same "but there's a perfectly good bed in the other room?!" comments, myself included. However, since Mew had started to distrust Top (thanks, Boston), the disconnect has started and Mew cannot take Top to sleep in his bed.

The same logic applies to their sex scene. They cannot have sex in Top's bed because narratively, they have never been more disconnected than at that point. Top is lying/hiding his cheating with Boston. Mew was playing hard to get and then rewarding Top "quitting" drugs with sex. It's hard to say if they were lying more to each other or themselves in that moment. I do think they genuinely like each other, and I do think that actual feelings/love is happening between them (well, until episode 6...) but it felt like they were just having sex because they were supposed to? Because that's what you do in a relationship. This disconnect keeps them off the bed.

And then we end up in episode six. We get Mew, who is turning on the seduction the moment he and Top walk through his door. He's lighting candles, putting music on his phone, dissing Ray. He is practically aggressive in the way he (man)handles Top onto the bed and pins him there. They have finally ended up back on a (Mew's) bed and it's because they are finally back on the same page. The disconnect is gone. So is the trust, but they have the truth between them again. Whereas before they cuddled in Mew's bed, now their relationship is falling apart in it.

(also Boston is now both metaphorically and literally in their bed with them in this moment and that is just so good)

Tagging the Ephemerality Squad: @lurkingshan, @waitmyturtles, @wen-kexing-apologist, @chickenstrangers, @ranchthoughts, @twig-tea, @clara-maybe-ontheroad, @distant-screaming

Apologies to anyone I forgot!

#only friends the series #only friends meta #thai bl #TopMew #and their bed problem

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jenyifer · 7 months

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I am seeing a lot of posts of how Boston would be happiest in an open relationship, that he doesn't need to be monogamous or doesn't need to be "fixed" because sleeping around is perhaps not a character flaw. The thing I do not understand is the whole point of Boston being a hoe, that OF has been driving from the beginning, the reason for this is: that he doesn't want to form connections, because he knows that is leaving, leaving everything behind in a few months to start afresh again, far, far away. It's not because this lifestyle makes him the happiest (I mean sex does give him momentary happiness, like the drugs and alcohol probably do for Ray), but rather because his sleeping around is a defense mechanism. Because truly, NO HUMAN BEING CAN EXIST WITHOUT MAKING CONNECTIONS. And he avoids these deeper connections and relationships like a plague. Look at how he even sabotaged his own friendships!

How is everyone missing the point that Boston has been 'self-harming' himself too, in a different way but he has been. However now, the question is has Boston ever been loved (without his sexual aspect) since he was a baby? Not looked after, not cared for, but loved, loved even when he made mistakes, when he did things he wasn't supposed to do? The answer is most likely NO. Nobody even bothered, including his parents and also friends to really know Boston. And so in conclusion no one really knows what Boston's personality is other than the fake mask he wears for himself of being a slut with no remorse.

And as for Boston being happy in a poly-relationship, how is everyone missing that Boston is not that self-assured of sharing LOVE if/when he truly finds it. He cannot physically share the person he loves/will love in the future, simply because that's what he is so scared about!!!! A threesome sure, but not a long-lasting polygamous relationship.

He is not jealous of Nick and Dan. He truthfully didn't look jealous, instead, he clearly looked heartbroken that the person he might have feelings about was having a good time in the arms of another man.

To be in a consensual poly-relationship you need to have a lot of love to give and a lot of love to share, and right now Boston has neither. He needs to be assured of love to even process that yes, he is more than capable of loving back and having deep connections with another person even outside of their bed. And Nick can be (is) this person for Boston.

Anon I love you 10,000% and have been struggling to make a post addressing this but you’ve put it beautifully. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Boston’s mask of confident slut is one that EVERYONE except to some extent Nick sees INCLUDING the audience. I think this is why we haven’t gotten Boston’s POV after all these episodes because he is a superficial boy and under the surface he and Nick are the same. Desperate for anyone to love them. While Nick’s desperation is born out of feeling like no one ever looks at him.

Boston is born out of no one ever seeing him or trying to see who he really is.

Because he feels like no one could possibly love who he really is. When Boston talks about himself to those who he loves Ray and Nick he is incredibly aware of how shitty he is how he makes a mess for himself.

He tells Nick he’s bad. He agrees with Nick he is the asshole. Later he tells Ray that if Ray shows Mew the clip Ray will be as “evil” as Boston is. Boston knows what he does is wrong but as Nick says it’s a desperate plea to be loved. He LOVES Ray and Mew so much and their happy times together are coming to a close. He self sabotages those relationships throughly because he believes he’s bad. It’s what he has to do. He’s already on this path why not throw the water of cold reality on your best friend when he’s lying to himself. Why not sleep with Top to get validation that you are still better than Mew? He does this because he is afraid. He doesn’t know what to do with his emotions. He’s never been taught but all he is told is what a piece of shit he is so why not be a self fulfilling prophecy.

Boston dad’s attitude to Boston have such a practiced bravado that we see reflected in Boston. Boston is very similar to Kang from Dangerous Romance but he doesn’t have a grandma to care about him even a little bit. Boston is alone with no expectations because he is just a burden. A reminder of failure. A potential weakness and that has been drilled into him. Boston doesn’t get defensive when confronted because he knows what he’s done is wrong. HES A FREAKING ZOMBIE AT THE PARTY FOR GOD SAKE EVEN KNOWING WHAT RAY WILL DO. This is how Boston self harms he takes whatever criticism he gets. Because he knows it’s true. He DESERVES the pain and the consequences. It’s extremely sad.

The ONLY time we see him fight back on these accusations is when Nick is backed into a corner during their confrontation Boston is pressuring Nick to admit who gave Ray the recording. I think coming from Nick the judgement was too much. He’d let Nick see under the mask and now Nick was rejecting him and Boston had to hit back 10x harder to protect himself.

The mask drop that shows us how scared and insecure Boston really is is right there. He makes that face when he’s genuinely hurt. Boston is a scared boy who wants love.

He couldn’t be in a poly relationship because he isn’t secure in himself and his connections to others. Poly relationships require a lot either mental strength in self assurance. Boston would say yeah it’s fine for Nick to be with others because that is what slutty Boston would do but I don’t think he could take it mentally it would eat him alive. He’d self sabotage to oblivion because internally it would be confirmation Nick never loved him and never believed in their relationship bond. BECAUSE Boston can’t love himself or believe in himself. He doesn’t know how. I think he won’t break up Nick and Dan because of jealousy because it’s what Boston deserves in his head. Nick being happy with someone else means Boston was right all along. No one could ever love him. However if I could predict what I think will happen Nick being hurt by Dan in anyway would be a no go from Boston. Boston let’s his relationships go with Ray and Mew BUT HE STILL LOVES THEM. Boston shows up to the hostel shit and is humiliated for Mew’s pleasure. Boston shows up for Ray’s injury and when Ray was maybe getting arrested by the police to be there for Ray. If something happens to Nick I think Boston will be there in-spite of himself he can’t fully let go.

I think Boston learning to trust Nick and himself is the only way forward. There is so much that needs to be healed. Nick is his safe space though and no matter what Boston does Nick will love him. Boston needs to accept this and Nick needs to accept that Boston truly loves/deserves who Nick the person is too. Boston is in the process of learning to love and what that really is. He needs patience. And one day if he can truly love himself and Nick maybe being poly won’t be an issue. But Id worry that it would just bring up old insecurities in both Nick and Boston. We don’t even have a hint at what drives Nick to be a stalker other than insecurities so… I doubt he could do that either and that’s okay. Everyone needs to experiences love in their own way.

I hope that made sense. Anon you are amazing and I hope I brain souped that well. Thank you again for sending it. I’m suffering but in a good way. I hope that was coherent.

#only friends #only friends meta #ofts meta #ofts #only friends Boston #ofts Boston #bostonnick #boston x nick #ask #Jenny’s rambling #only friends episode 9 #ofts ep9 #only friends nick #ofts nick

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crispywizardtale · 8 months

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Top apologist here

I might get canceled but idc I will defend Top

Last week Top shared Mew bits and pieces of his past and I feel like he did it because he started feeling comfortable around Mew. He does not see that Mew is playing him, he cannot see pass what Mew is actually thinking and feel bad for him because at this point I can't even understand what Mew is thinking. I can't say if Mew is actually playing with Top and his feelings or if Mew is just trying to change Top.

On today's episode Top took Mew on a cute date in a silent disco which was Mew's first experience with something like that. He explained everything about the disco to Mew before taking him to the dance floor. This whole section was a normal date including the off key singing and cringy lines.

Everything was going great Top was enjoying his time with Mew until Beam didn't see Top and started a conversation with Top. You could really see how Top's mood changed as soon as he arrived.

Beam made Top very uncomfortable with everything he was saying and I think that Top would disagree with what Beam just said but he just kept it inside.

This is the second person who said this. First it was Boston and now Beam but both of them are wrong. I don't think anyone knows Top, I don't think even Mew knows true Top, I think that even Top is struggling with that himself. I think ever since the fire Top hasn't known peace he could never truly relax. He might have told himself that sleeping with others would bring a bit of comfort but I don't think he truly wants it...

This whole interaction made Top feel uneasy even when Beam left. He forced a smile the whole time Beam was there and when he left he was just looking around uncomfortable he couldn't even enjoy himself after the conversation

I do feel that Top does care about Mew.. Maybe he involuntary started liking Mew. He is not trying to get into Mew's pants at least I see it that way

But he still likes pissing Ray off which is okay you can't get along with everyone and he can have a bit of fun especially if he knows that Ray likes Mew

Once again Top clearly states he does not want to do anything with Boston but Boston is not letting him go he clearly does not respect Top in any way. Boston is so selfish and sees only his own needs and does not care about anything or anyone else.

Top is clearly trying to ignore Boston and take care of Mew but Boston keeps bothering Top and when Mew pushed Top to leave he had no choice but to go to him.

We need to talk about Boston gaslighting everyone. He did it to Ray at the party and now he is doing the same to Top just to get his way with Top

He is so disgusting he is gaslighting Top so hard because he does know that Top started caring for Mew. Everything thag Boston said in the car was so disgusting I have no idea how he can live with himself

He looks like a lost puppy here he has no idea what he should do now he can't even think straight anymore everything he thought he knew was a lie and he does not know what he should believe now

I would also like to point out that Mew does not think of Top as his boyfriend. Is it still cheating? Well yes but but Top has so many things on his mind he went back to the only thing he knows and that is sex

Is this mess a complete mess yes it is but this is not a face of man he wants to do this

#top apologist #might get canceled but i don't really care Top deserves better #complete mess of a post #i tried #but my mind is running from one place to another i can't keep up #i just feel so bad for Top everyone is playing with him and nobody genuinely cares for him #he doesn’t even have friends #i want to comfort him so badly #TOP DESERVES BETTER!!#only friends #only friends the series #force jiratchapong #forcebook #book kasidet #kasibook #fforce #fforcejs

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sunshineblondiewrites · 7 months

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The First of Us - Chapter 2

Death. Death. Death.

Joel Miller x f!reader (no use of y/n)

Series summary: you and your father meet Joel and Tommy 6 years after outbreak day. You join their group trying to make it to the Boston QZ not realizing all that joining would entail. You eventually make it to the QZ but not without suffering many losses. Tommy decides to join the Fireflies and you and Joel are left with your smuggling partner, Tess, when years later you meet a teenage girl that will bring you and Joel across the country, and maybe together.

Chapter summary: You and your father join the Miller brother's and gang and begin to get used to life away from the farm. After a few years together an unfortunate event causes you to lose your father. When the group makes it to the Philadelphia QZ the group splits up and you end up alone with the Miller brothers on the way to Boston.

Warnings: death, outbreak day, friends to lovers, reader has a sister, minor physical descriptions of reader, grieving, FFM threeway (does not include reader, cannon typical violence(if I miss any please lmk)

a/n chapter 2!!! genuinely so excited people read chapter 1 I cannot believe it!! I hope anyone who reads this one enjoys!

word count: 6.2k

Ch1 masterlist

Joel. Huh. Something about him just gave off protector vibes, but he also seemed like a hardass. You were fairly certain it had something to do with things he’d seen and done and that he wasn’t always like this, but then again that was the story for everybody. You gave them your name, officially, and shook their hands. Joel’s were big, warm, and calloused. Tommy’s were also large, warm, and calloused but in a different way, like they were worn from different actions.

“Here’s the thing,” Tommy said, “we’re all a group here but there’s definitely groups within the group. Ryan, Luke, and Blake are buds, Sasha, Phillip, and Victoria are together, and then Joel and I. We were thinkin’ you might wanna ally with us, you saw how Ryan is and the rest of the guys are pretty similar and Sash, Vick, and Phil are all fucking each other so I’m not sure what you’re into, but you might be best off with us.”

“Hmm, I’ll discuss it with my dad. But what makes you think we need your help? Why are you even offering?” you ask. You don’t wanna be seen as a charity case. You’ve been doing quite alright so far. Clearly much better than these guys have.

“Because your dad’s getting older and if you’re not careful Ryan will try to take advantage of you. We’ve seen what he can do with no remorse. Some of the things that he’s made us or tried to make us do… It’s not all like he made it out to be, but you’ve already agreed to join, so if you don’t come now he’ll kill you, and if you hadn’t agreed to join he’d have killed you,” Tommy said while Joel still stood, brooding slightly, behind him. You looked from Tommy to Joel, you weren’t dumb, your dad was in his fifties now, and the extra wear and tear on his body these past few years had already started to take its toll. You knew you needed someone who could protect you and watch your back as well as your fathers. You could hold your own, but 4 sets of eyes was always better than 2. And you knew deep down you could find that in Joel. Tommy too. Out of the 8 people, these two seemed the most genuine. You may have just met them, but you are very good at reading people.

“Okay. I still need to talk to my dad, but okay,” you said. They seemed satisfied with that answer and you expected them to leave, but they grabbed the dishes, took them to the basin of water you had in the kitchen, pulled out some chairs from the table, and began washing them, solidifying in your mind that, yeah, they were good people.

The next day was hard as you prepared to leave the only home you’d ever known. You packed your bag with the obvious things you’d need and then you grabbed some sentimental necessities. Your mother��s necklace (a gold chain with a locket that had dried white wildflowers in the center and a picture of your family inside), her wedding ring, and the Barbie pink bracelet you made out of the fabric from Hazel’s dress. Her room was a wreck after, but the dress had been untouched in the garment bag.

The rest of the group packed up some extra bags with your canned goods and also added some to their packs, as did you and your father. He also went and let out the animals so that they could roam free and let some of the people know you were leaving and gave them some supplies that you guys couldn’t carry. By the middle of the day, you were set to leave.

You went out to visit their graves one last time to say goodbye. You both decided to say goodbye separately so that the group couldn’t sneak off with the truck without you, but also just so that you both could have some privacy. Your father went first and was only there for about 5 minutes, but it felt like ages just sitting around with the strangers you were about to travel the country with. You trudged your way over to the wildflower field where they laid, and you did as you always had done. Remove the few wilting flowers, since you only put them there yesterday, but this time you didn’t replace them with new ones. You wouldn’t be here to replace them anymore. No one would, and you didn’t want them stuck with dead flowers for eternity.

“Hey guys,” you said sheepishly. It didn’t matter that it had been 6 years since they died, talking to a rock never got easier. “I know Dad probably already told you, but we’re leaving town finally.” Your eyes started to well up a bit and you didn’t know why. “I know you loved this house, mom, and you never wanted us to leave it, but we can’t stay here anymore by ourselves, it’s just too risky and Dad and I are too weak on our own. So we’re joining a group of travelers. Specifically these two brothers.” Your Dad had agreed earlier in the day, which surprised you. It didn’t even take any attempts to convince him. You wondered if he knew something you didn’t. You turned towards the other of the identical stones. “Hazel Elizabeth,” you swallowed thickly, “I hope you’re winning pageants up there and enjoying life… unlike me,” you added.

Before you could cry anymore, you and your fistfull of wilted wildflowers went back to the front of your house where everyone was waiting in the driveway. You chucked the flowers onto the front porch with a huff. The wilted petals on the porch made the house a visual representation of rejection. You turned and wordlessly climbed into the passenger’s seat of your dad’s pickup and the rest of the group followed. Ryan naturally climbed in the backseat but to your surprise the other seat became occupied by Joel. He and Tommy must have wanted to make sure one of them was listening to both halves of the group’s conversations. But regardless, you were headed off to Boston and leaving Hazel behind. The place, and the person.

—

Life in the group wasn’t bad… at first. Ryan did try to make a few moves on you, but thanks to Tommy and Joel he never made it far. Never far enough to scar you, at least. You were also right to join the Tommy and Joel side of the group. They weren’t kidding when they said the boys were narcissistic, selfish, assholes and the other three genuinely were fucking each other… frequently. Joel didn’t talk much, if at all, but when he did talk it was mostly to you or Tommy, nowadays mostly you. Tommy had started to get distant lately too, the things you all had done starting to get to him. You assumed life out here would be rough, but this was a new level. Infected, FEDRA, and people were worse than you’d imagined. You’d met your first set of clickers not too long ago. You lost Blake. No one talked about it. Ryan killed him before he turned. Ryan had some kind of obsession with killing—in another world he would probably be a serial killer. His obsession forced you all to do what you were told or he would kill you, like Tommy said, and he’d like it. Doing what Ryan told you involved killing a lot of innocent people for their supplies. You only argued with him about trying to negotiate once before he showed you what happens when you question him. That demonstration was now turning into a scar across your thigh. Joel was pissed and so was your dad, but they knew better than to do anything

You’d lost the truck a couple months back, something happening to it during an attack from other raiders. Joel and Tommy tried their best to fix it, but unfortunately it just wasn’t something they could patch up. So you’d been walking since then. The toll that took on your father was heavier than you’d feared, but he was hanging in there, either for his sake or yours.

“Hey! Welcome to Pennsylvania!” Luke announced.

“Well we’re at least in the state of one of the QZs we’re headed to,” Sash said. The decision had been made a while back that the likelihood of all 9 of you making it into the Boston QZ was unlikely, so closer to the Philadelphia QZ - Ryan, Luke, Vicki, Phillip, and Sash would head there - Joel, Tommy, you, and your dad would keep going on to Boston.

“This state is also hopefully flatter than the last few, I refuse to climb a mountain ever again,” Luke said breathlessly. He was certainly the group’s clown.

“I see a gas station up ahead, we can stop there for the night, see if there’s anything,” Ryan said. He and Luke went in and cleared the building first. Naturally, there wasn’t much left but some jerky. You ate a bit of that and packed some more for later before laying out your sleeping bag between your father and Joel. Phillip offered to take the first watch and after the sun went down you were all tired so there wasn’t much small talk before you all slowly drifted to sleep.

—

You heard it at the same time as Joel. Your eyes snapped open and you made eye contact with him in the moonlight. You couldn’t have been asleep for long, an hour maybe less with the way Joel still looked very much awake. He was never one to sleep well, you’d noticed, but he always at least acted like he was trying. He looked past your head behind you and slowly brought his finger to his lips. A clicker. Where the hell was Phillip? Didn’t Ryan and Luke clear the building? Joel slowly grabbed his gun, squinted one eye and killed it in one shot which startled everyone else awake.

“What the fuck?” Phillip shouted gun clattering to the ground in surprise from where he’d been slumped against the cash register’s counter, asleep. His and everyone else’s dismay, however, turned out to be the least of your worries when you heard more of them barreling up from a basement you didn’t know this place had. At least three, maybe four. While you all started shooting in the dark corner where there were no windows to see Tommy asked what everyone had to have been thinking.

“I THOUGHT YOU CLEARED IT?”

“WE DID! THERE WAS A SHELF OVER THERE THAT WE MOVED AND FOUND A TRAP DOOR BUT NOTHING WAS UNDER THERE I SWEAR. THEY MUST HAVE BEEN HIDING UNDER THERE,” Luke yelled. Dumbasses. You heard Vicki scream as one had managed to lurch toward her and your father moved over to help her. After a short minute or two, thanks to 9 guns and Joel’s ridiculously good aim, you finally managed to get everything under control. You all packed up quickly and went outside just as the sun was rising.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Joel asked sternly.

“How were we supposed to know what was under there after we cleared it?” Luke said defensively.

“Why didn’t you recover it with the shelf?” Vicki asked while being held by Sash, she looked quite shaken, the clicker had gotten super close to her, she’s really lucky she didn’t get bit.

“Cause we cleared it! Didn’t you Ryan?” Luke desperately asked? Ah, Ryan was the one who “cleared” the crawlspace. You looked at Tommy and Joel who both looked at you and then each other as understanding crossed everyone’s faces. Ryan was more of a, take a look and call it a day kind of checker— not a thorough kind of guy.

“Hang on you can’t blame this all on us, fucking Phillip fell asleep on watch!” Ryan argued in a sad attempt to continue trying to save his reliability.

“What did you expect me to do? We’d been walking for miles all day, I was exhausted!” Phillip said.

“Well still, that ain’t how keepin’ watch works,” Tommy piped in putting his two cents in the growing argument money pile.

“GUYS! Guys, we got different things we need to be worried about right now. What’s done is done,” your dad said. You recognized that tone. It was the same tone he used 6 years ago when he told you to go to your room.

“Dad?” you said slowly, taking a step toward him, and he took a step back, “Dad, what the hell are you talking about?” He lifted his arm out and showed you all the bite there. It didn’t look deep, the damn clicker barely had enough of his arm to let all of its teeth break the flesh, but enough of them had. It’d only been maybe 15 minutes since he’d been bit and the bite already looked worse.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” your dad said softly. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes as you looked at him, the bite, and then him again. No, this wasn’t happening.

“Shit Mike,” Tommy said.

“Wha- what are we gonna do?” you stuttered. What are you gonna do? You couldn’t let him turn into one of those monsters, not like your family did, but you couldn’t kill your own father. And yet at the same time you didn’t want someone else to kill him either.

“Kill him,” Ryan said, “I don’t think he wants to turn into an infected, do you Mike?”

“He’s right sweetheart, you have to let him kill me, it’ll be easier, you’ll know I didn’t suffer.” You didn’t try to keep the tears at bay now. Your breaths hitched and you were finding it harder and harder to breathe but you shook your head.

“No, no, I’ll do it,” you said shakily, “I’ll… prevent you from turning.”

“Sweetheart, I can’t ask you to do that,” your dad argued and was immediately followed by protests from the rest of the group as well.

“I don’t think that's a good idea, sunshine,” Joel said. Sunshine, that was new, but you didn’t have the capacity to think about that. You turned to him and tried to plead with your eyes. You weren’t about to let your father’s death be a way for Ryan to get off. Your father had killed your sister and your mother and lived everyday with that burden, surely you will make it with this burden. Somehow, he understood, and you watched him take a breath, look you in the eyes in a way you couldn’t describe, and open his mouth, but before he could offer, you interrupted him.

“I’m doing it,” you turned back to your father, who was crying softly now. Vicki walked up to your father and hugged him.

“Thank you for saving me, you still barely know me, but I’m so sorry,” she said through sobs. You went back into the gas station, your father followed behind and then moved to stand in front of you. Joel and Tommy went in after but waited at the door. You looked your father in the eyes, trying to memorize every detail, and you realized his hand was slowly twitching as he brought it up to your face, like Hazel’s did, and you held his hand.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart, but I need you to promise me something. Keep going, don’t let this hold you back from finding a better life. Keep thinking of others even in times like these, you know it's what your mother would have wanted. Promise me,” he said through sobs.

“I promise,” you choked out. You were trying so hard to be strong for him. You didn’t want his last memory of you to be one of weakness, no matter how heartbreaking this whole situation is.

“Your mother, Hazel, and I will be waiting for you when you’re ready, so take your time, but sweetheart, nothing you’ve done has ever wavered my belief that you are a kind, smart, beautiful woman just trying to find her way in this broken world. I love you my sweet girl,” he pulled you into a hug and you squeezed him, trying to memorize the feeling of his heart beating against you.

“I love you too,” you finally sobbed out.

“Look out for her and please take care of her,” your father asked Joel and Tommy over your shoulder. There wasn’t a single second of hesitation before Joel said.

“We will.”

“Of course,” Tommy said. The Millers, despite it all, were good people and deep down you trusted them to keep their promise.

Your father pulled away first and you held his still twitching hand. “We’re running low on time, sweetheart. I don’t want you to see me any worse,” your father said softly and he kept your hand in his until he turned around and kneeled to the ground. You attempted to control your breathing, blinking back your tears. The worst thing you could do right now is miss and have to shoot your father twice. You knew he was exaggerating the time frame. He probably still had hours before things would become unsafe, at least that’s what you could put together from your encounters with people before they got infected, but you didn’t want to see him get any worse.

“It’s okay, sweet girl, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay sweet girl,” your father repeated over and over. You summoned whatever power your dad had that night so many years ago. You looked at the back of his head and raised your gun, you inhaled, looked away, exhaled, and bang.

You dropped to the ground as did your fathers body, your knees already soaked in your father’s blood. Your father, who you had just murdered. You saw your gun get kicked away by a black boot and large arms were wrapped around you as you looked up to see… Joel, comforting you, holding you, and talking to you. You could see his mouth moving but you couldn’t hear him quite yet. You could still barely breathe. All you could do was scream.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, sunshine, just breathe. Just breathe, breathe with me.” You somehow managed to focus enough to hear what he was saying over your gut wrenching cries and eventually slow your breathing enough to go from screams to quiet cries in his arms. You felt another hand on your back and you assumed it to be Tommy’s. He blocked your view of your father with his body and your knuckles were white from the grip you had on Joel’s jacket.

You stayed there for a few minutes before suddenly standing up from where you were on the ground with Joel and Tommy and composed yourself. You’d shown enough emotion, but you all had places to be. This wasn’t a world where you had time to mourn or the safety to be vulnerable. You could only move on and use your grief to fuel your need for survival.

“We should get going soon, don’t want to waste anymore time,” you said.

“Okay. I think I might look around for a second. Help me, will ya Joel?” Tommy said softly, but you already headed outside where the rest of the group was. They all were just looking at you, they no doubt heard your screams so they must have been surprised when you emerged first with Joel and Tommy following a few minutes after. Joel handed you your gun back and you put it in the waistband of your jeans. There was still something different in his eyes when he looked at you but you had no idea what it was. Everyone looked at you with a sort of pity, even Ryan, but Joel’s was something else.

“Lets go,” you said and started walking East to Philadelphia, with Joel following right behind you, followed by Tommy, then Vicki, and then the rest of the group. You made a promise to your father, and you intended to keep it.

—

You couldn’t imagine how much further you all walked that day. It was the most you all had ever walked, probably due to the determination after your father’s death combined with the fact you now didn’t have your father’s age wearing you all down. A morbid, but true, fact. You tried to find the good things about your newfound no parent situation. You were 23 years old and had never been a day without one of your parents except for your occasional summer camp stay. You might even be the last of your goddamn bloodline alive since your father had never been able to reach any of his or your mother’s families when the government was still trying to make mail work. Yeah, dumb. You were now officially alone, and that thought almost relieved you. Now you really only have to worry about the safety of yourself. And maybe Joel and Tommy, but they haven’t proved to need your protection so far.

Your attention was brought back to the present with the burning of your thighs and calves, but feeling that physical pain was helping you deal with your emotional pain, so you decided to just really keep feeling the burn. Joel, Tommy, and you made up the back of the group, Sash, Vick, and Phillip in the middle, and Ryan and Luke in the front as always. This irked you a little bit, the way Ryan’s attitude and temper stopped anyone from arguing with him about whether or not he was trustworthy enough to be leading you all. A deep voice next to you saying something brings you out of your trance.

“What?” you say to Joel.

“Tunnels,” he repeats, “in the weird crawl space basement thing. Some not infected people must have been trying to stay safe down there and dig tunnels to wherever. Probably came up to use the gas station supplies when one of them must have gotten infected and then…”

“Gotten at least some of ‘em sick and the others climbed out and put the shelf over it. We couldn’t tell ya how far the tunnels went but ya got a lotta time on your hands in 10 years,” Tommy continued. That’s right, 10 years. If you could guess anything about the time of year it must have been March, maybe April based on the weather warming up. Either way, that meant your birthday was coming up soon in May. Not that you’d do anything for it or tell anyone. It was just confirmation of your aging and unavoidable acknowledgement that you were passing milestones Hazel would never get to. Gosh, she’d have turned 18 this year. An official adult. You couldn’t even imagine the chaos.

“So with Ryan’s habit of not being thorough,” Joel growled.

“I don’t wanna hear either of you say it could have been avoided,” you huffed. In what world did they see telling you this as helping?

“No, we’re not saying that. What we’re trying to get at is that this may be the thing to convince the others Ryan is in no position to lead this. The things he’s done, the things he’s made us do, and the things he doesn’t do that put us in danger can’t be ignored anymore,” Tommy pleads.

“Correction—he’s saying that. I think we should keep our fuckin’ mouths shut until we drop their asses in Philedelphia. I was gonna say his habit of not being thorough and sharing things with the group got your father infected and endangered the rest of us,” Joel whisper shouted at his brother. You three were far enough back that your conversations would at least be muffled to everyone else, but you never know how sound can carry. Plus, the Miller boys could yell.

“Which is exactly my point! Listen, sugar, I just think that if you…”

“You wanna use my father getting infected as a push point to, what, put you in charge?” you question him. He didn’t have an answer for that. “That’s ridiculous. Joel’s right, just keep your mouth shut for a couple more days and then we’ll be on our own and you can be in charge.” Tommy grabbed your arm, stopping you and forcing you to look at him.

“This isn’t about me being in charge, sugar, this is about the possibility of not letting more innocent people die,” Tommy started calling you sugar when he noticed whenever you ransacked a store for supplies you always looked for gummy candies or something sweet in an attempt to feed your never ending sweet tooth. You used to think the nickname was sweet, made you feel like part of the team, but now it just enraged you.

“Well, sugar,” you say back to him, your voice laced with venom, “We’ve been doing this for almost 4 years together now, and I don’t even know how long you were doing it before then, so I’m not sure what the hell is making you get cold feet all the sudden about the things we’ve done because it’s not gonna change anything. It doesn’t matter who told us to do it, we did it. So I’m sorry that you’re having trouble sleeping at night, but if we’re going to make it to Boston we have to leave things as they are.” Both Miller boys looked at you with their jaws slightly dropped. Losing your father had already started to change things. That was the most words you’d said to anybody at once, even your father, in the 4 years they’ve known you. There was no one there to do the talking while you observed anymore, so you were gonna talk.

“And my father wasn’t one of the innocent people you need to feel guilty about losing. Did you know I listened to him kill my sister and my mother on outbreak day when they got sick? Did you know that whenever our hospitality started being taken for granted he threatened people with bullets to their legs and shoulders? Or did you know he used to tell me that I couldn’t kill anything, not a farm animal or infected, because a woman shouldn’t have blood on her hands? And all that was before I met you and you know what he did after, so don’t try to make my father out to be some innocent old man who died protecting a stranger.” Your father was a brave man, you loved him more than anything, and maybe it’s just the grief talking, but after the world fell apart, he became a different kind of man. Of course, as always, this was the same old story for most people after the outbreak and the things your father was guilty of, you were guilty of too, but he was not an innocent man. The Miller boys didn’t know this but there were things he did that Ryan didn’t ask him to. Things that were too dark, even for you. He’d have done anything to protect you, he just didn’t know when it was too far.

“Is there a problem here?” Ryan asked. You hadn’t realized in your rage that you’d called attention from the rest of the group.

“No,” you said, “just talking to Tommy about how I killed my father today. What’s on your agenda for the rest of the day?” You finished your response with a smile. Mentioning killing someone distracted Ryan and made everyone else uncomfortable, given the situation. Then, asking what Ryan wanted the plan to be reminded him that he was in charge and stroked his ego so he’d forget what started the conversation and wouldn’t get suspicious about your argument with Tommy. Therefore, if anyone else was still suspicious, they wouldn’t mention it now.

If you had to name your top three strengths it would be observant, tactical, and seductive. You had an allure that pulled people in like no one in your group had ever seen. And sometimes you didn’t even have to try, they’d just look at you and do what you suggested. This especially worked on men because most of them think with their dicks and boy did you have the looks to make their pants twitch. It hadn’t worked out in your favor a couple times, but Joel would always barge in and rescue you. He had an effect on people that ignited fear, but you knew who he really was. He’d only been too late once, and he swore never again.

“Well, looking at the sun we got roughlyyy 2 hours to sunset, so I say we use the rest of our time to find a spot to spend the night. We should make it to Philadelphia within the fortnight,” Ryan said. You all made your way into a neighborhood that had been bombed after outbreak day and found a house that had managed to stay mostly intact.

“Joel and I will do the sweep,” Tommy said and you smiled at him softly. You may have had an argument earlier, but you knew where he was coming from deep down and you couldn’t blame him.

After the sweep and looking to see if there was anything useful left in the house, everyone ate food from their packs and by dusk everyone was getting ready to settle in for the night. Today you laid your sleeping bag in between Tommy and Joel.

“I’ll take the first watch,” Joel said quickly. He made eye contact with you but neither of you said anything. You shimmied down into your sleeping bag, watching as Joel positioned himself in front of the window, you glanced down and when you looked back up, Joel was looking at you. Eventually, sleep lulled you away and you felt safer than you had in months knowing Joel was the one watching over you.

—

It had been roughly two weeks since your father died, well since you killed him, and they were really tough. Not just for you and your grief, but for Tommy and Joel too. Their relationship had become a bit strained since you had a run in with another group of raiders and Tommy had held back. Which caused you and Joel to step up to cover his lack of “results” as Ryan would say. You did things you didn’t even know you were capable of because your father had never let you, and Joel delivered as always. He had this ability to just zone out into a blind rage and finish his “tasks.” This was starting to frustrate Tommy more and more every time Joel had to do something. Thankfully you should only be a few hours out from Philadelphia, and under the cover of night, over half your group would split and it would just be you and the Millers. Then hopefully when your decisions were in your own hands Tommy would calm down a bit and realize you have to do what you have to to survive out here.

“There it is,” Phillip said, “the Philadelphia QZ.” The QZ was surrounded by a large concrete wall, making it look more intimidating than safe.

“Alright, we’ll get a little closer, wait till dark, then part ways,” Ryan said.

By nightfall, the group had dished out what supplies they had left to you and the Millers and started making their advance into the QZ. The plan was to go around to the side, cut a hole in the chain link fence, and sneak in through the tunnels.

They never made it. The FEDRA guards must have noticed movement because before you knew it they were firing their weapons and your group members were being blown to bits. Safely hidden, you weren’t worried about getting hit yourself, just what might happen if they came out to assess the bodies and found you. So you ran off quickly, trying to process what just happened. They’re supposed to let people into the QZs, that’s the purpose of them. Would that happen to us?

“I don’t think we can sneak in,” you said after the running/walking in the dark you had been partaking in.

“The fuck you mean?” Joel said to you.

“You watched them get blown to bits because they probably saw the movement and thought they were infected. We’re not infected, so why shouldn’t we be able to walk in the front doors?” you questioned them. If Tommy doesn’t want to do things Ryan’s way anymore, here’s a start. “Look either way, we either get into the QZ or die.”

“We’re getting into that QZ,” Tommy said.

“Yes we will,” Joel confirmed, “but first we sleep, we’re far enough out now, I’ll watch.”

“Are you sure? You watched last night,” Tommy pried.

“Yeah I can do it Joel,” you pleaded him. If anything, you wanted time to process through watching your “friends” get blown up right before you.

“Fine, but wake me up when you get tired,” Joel said.

“Or me,” Tommy added, annoyed.

Both brothers got into their sleeping bags, still on either side of you, and they went to sleep. You clutched your gun in your hand a little tighter, you rarely kept watch when your dad was around, someone else just always ended up taking it or he did, but you didn’t mind it. It gave you a real chance to think. And tonight you had quite a bit to think about. You didn’t let yourself get super close to anyone other than Joel and Tommy, it was too much of a risk to get close with everyone because of all the uncertainty out there. It wasn’t anything personal, it was more of a protection method.

But that didn’t mean there weren’t things you’d miss and times you’d think about. Naturally, since you, Sash, and Vick were together all the time your cycles ended up linking up. When that happened and you hadn’t found any pads or tampons in a while, you would use old ripped up clothes instead. Whenever you were near a body of water, the three of you would get up early and rinse them out and just talk as if you weren’t in the middle of an apocalypse. You couldn’t even remember what you’d even talk about but you just remember laughing with them until one of the guys would uncomfortably call you back. They were always so on edge when you all were on your periods.

There was also the time during one of Vick, Sash, and Phil’s night time exercise sessions that woke everyone up. At the beginning, it always woke you up but eventually you could sleep through it. This one night in particular, however, the three of them were so lost in the moment when Vick was supposed to be keeping watch that they didn’t realize the shelf they were fucking against wasn’t that stable and they knocked it over onto Blake, Luke, and Ryan with a huge crash. Thankfully, the shelves in the gas station were mostly empty and the boys didn’t have anything more severe than some deep cuts, bad bruises, and sore bodies but none of them kept watch for a while after that.

Blake also had a thing for you for a while. He’d always try to walk by you, talk to you, and offer you things, much to the annoyance of both Joel and Tommy because then they couldn’t talk to you or your father about anything that he would run off to tell Ryan about. He was a sweet guy and everything, he even picked some wildflowers for you one time which did genuinely touch you. Plus he was a better guy than Ryan but he was bitten by an infected, you didn’t cry about it.

Then there was what plagued your mind the most, your father. Who he was before and the man you ignored he was becoming. You wanted to keep your childhood innocent version of him in your mind but then you’d think about things he willingly did, and your image of him in your mind started blurring into someone you didn’t want to acknowledge, which is what hurt the most. You knew you’d started to push him away when you started traveling 4 years ago, so you can’t help but blame yourself for what he became. Which you know isn’t fair, but you can’t help that’s the way it makes you feel. You sighed to yourself in frustration and blinked back a few tears and looked up at the stars. That was one thing you appreciate about the lack of electricity, less light pollution, more stars. Through the trees you found the little and big dippers and some other constellations.

You tore your eyes away from the stars and as you sat on your sleeping bag, now staring out into the distance you brought yourself out of your head by listening to the soft, rumbling snores of Joel and the chainsaw-level snorting that came from Tommy when he is actually getting restful sleep. You chuckled softly to yourself and rolled your eyes because of course, you can’t really blame him for snoring but damn he was loud and would certainly dampen your ability to hear people coming. You prayed to a God you can’t decide if you still believe in that there were no infected nearby. You clutched your mother’s necklace and fiddled with it anxiously, but here you are with the Miller brothers, gearing yourself up to finish what was hopefully your last time ever having to walk across half the country.

#the last of us #the last of us hbo #tlou #tlou hbo #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller reader insert #joel tlou #tommy miller #tess the last of us

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minniemariex · 8 months

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only friends ep 2

stream of thoughts

*contains spoilers*

too being capable in his job is a plus in my books

ray. mew said it. he is an addict. and he will have to deal with it at some point. i just wonder what happens for him to get to this point. like even his friends must know by now that the argument is not worth the consequences. like the probably tried their best to keep him from falling so far but it probably didn’t end very well.

loving how assertive mew is.

omg sand you are being so shifty. ray is gonna think you are a dealer. which he probably is but i’d not think it’s the drugs. or maybe.

'a drunkard like you isn’t a threat to me’ wow sand. hit him where it hurts.

omg is sand actually a night worker?? or is it just the distribution??

okay not drugs. plum wine.

omg ray. yo cannot buy friends. or boyfriends. or drinking buddies??

you can see how much chemistry there is between them. and they knwo perfectly how to taunt each other.

okay as a somewhat ace person i do not understand how that works. but good for them. i mean nick is gonna get hurt but still.

'i only do that with my favorite' nick is gonna be huuurt.

i think bostons parents are rich but don’t push their kid to take over. which is nice of them and a nice representation for that type of parents.

of course ray lives in a f mansion. that look of just wonder and like intérêt is a very good look on sand.

and he has to be a dick. cause of course he does.

uuu he like records. that’s gonna be a bonding point. ufff. mums stuff. a bomb. but still music is gonna be a bonding point. and trauma. probably so much trauma.

did she commit suicide? oh no. she drunk herself to death. omg ray. taht explins why he drinks at least. he could’ve gone two ways. no drinking at all or drinking to forget. and he clearly chose the latter. oh honey. that’s a lot to deal with. doesn’t excuse the behavior but a coping mechanism is a coping mechanism.

the way sand is looking at ray when he goes to put music on? god. and the way he sits?? goooood.

TAHT LITTLE SMILE WHEN HE PUT THE MUSIC ON !!! (khao will kill me at some point)

‘just stay with me. i don’t want to be alone.' 'fine i like easy jobs taht pay big’ oh sand you will eat your words the moment you start to realize how much ray drinks and how much you are for him.

i love how sand looks at ray when ray is relaxed and listening to music.

god they really wnet all the way with the budget for this show. that water boarding looks super fun.

top is very clearly trying to get along with mews friends.

the look on rays face when mew said top gets along with his friends. omg that boy is saaaltyyy

ton being meeesy meeesssssy

looool did he get ton to go over the f wall?? to the second stall? how the f did they do that??? i need like a recreation of this move since i refuse to believe it happens with no injuries or loins noises

ton is not happy. not happy at all.

omg is the eating the cookie supposed to be sexy??

i really really like how assertive and sure of himself mew is. it’s refreshing.

ton wtf omg wa snot expecting that

nick you poor poor man with horrible taste in men.

also god ton saying he hates drama is so funny to me (and hypocritical)

ray interrupting sand getting laid is hilarious. also ray fully knowing he’s irresistible when he pleads is gold. he looks soo good. and those hands on the shoulders move?? perfection

loving all of the confidence. sand may be poor but he’s sure of himself and knows his worth. and that he looks good and how to use it to his advantage.

bonding time. showing vulnerability is a great way to someone’s heart. especially when that someone is somewhat interested in you. i do wonder is he’s telling the truth.

that sweater cardigan whatever it is will kill me

the pointed questions. out with it ray. just hit on him

i wonder how many times they had to shoot that scene with the cigarettes.

omg. the tension is magnificent.

the hooker question and sands answer of 'if i’m interested i’d do it for free’ and rays making sure and asking for validation ‘ what about me? interesting enough?' superb

the way sand scooted and leaned back? and reclined? put his hand on the sofa and crossed his legs? took a long puff of smoke?? HOT HOT HOT 🥵

the way ray responds? stu’s kinda curled up but still showing off his good side? and taht drag and kiss?? HOT HOT HOT 🥵

THE WAY SAND LOOKS AT HIM AND JUST TAKES HIM IN AND LJSUT GOD THATS SO HOT

thé interviews show how differently they ar a preaching their relationship. and i wonder how it will all go

that was a very good way to end the ep

#only friends the series #only friends series #only friends #ofs #only friends spoilers #only friends episode 2 #only friends ep2

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ctl-yuejie · 4 months

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10 BL men I want carnally (or so the title goes)

really ristricted myself to the roles + only men (otherwise this would take me days to compile) - I will be taking the "carnally" seriously.

tagged by @williamrikers and @bengiyo (I believe) <3

Gong Jun as Xia Yao in Advance Bravely

listen, I am focusing on the roles but also: it's Gong Jun - one of the most gorgeous men I have ever seen. He is both feisty and baby in this. I do like hunky men, I like short kings. But from time to time I feel like sparring with a tall guy who I can later bully in bed. And he is also bratty and pouty in this series and gets spanked. I think I can work with that.

2. Mark Pakin as Nick in Only Friends

I think I have said enough that Boston is a dick and also that I can see my younger self in him. So with Mark's *gestures wildly* everything, Nick clearly falls into the most gorgeous men alive category that I also want to make cry in bed. We know Boston is great at sex. But he also stuck with Nick, so I really want to know what he can do. He should probably ride me.

3. Mix Sahaphab as Wen in Moonlight Chicken

besides Mix being stunning, both in terms of looks and in terms of character Wen is not someone I would usually go for. But he has sensuality down, and that first look at Uncle Jim had Uncle Jim feeling a specific type of way and agree to take him home with him and I cannot argue with that. And I do like a guy who can do a one night stand.

4. Tay Tawan as Shin in 3 Will Be Free

why are you, as a man, holding a guys waist while craning your head to get all the french kisses? well, you could be Tay Tawan as Shin. Both beautiful and oh so moody and brooding when you think your first crush is into the the stunning women at your side. This is the perfect threesome and I would very much like to be part of it.

5. Joong Archen as Joke in Hidden Agenda

whatever this series was and despite his character being a bit underwritten, one thing the writing team made sure of was to let us know that Joke can arrange your body in any way he wants. he's both very caring and soft which doesn't quite fit the intensity of the "carnally" theme, but just watching him lift Zo up gives me so many ideas to what else he can do. and he said himself, that sex with him is going to make you feel very good.

6. Fandy Fan as Hsia Yu Hao and Zach Lu as Qiu Ziu Xuan in Crossing the Line

both stunning. I appreciate that Hsia Yu Hao dreams of getting dominated a bit and while they are young and inexperienced the electricity in the shower room scene gives me all the confidence that they both know what to do. Plus points for the possibilities to fuck all over the gym when you're young and horny and don't care that much about the mood of a place.

7. Net Siraphob as King in Bed Friend

do I still have to watch the show? yes. but just by looking at the gifsets I am very certain that he should be at the top of any "desiring carnally" list. he is cocky, knows what to do with his hands, has some great moves (that bed jump), is kinky and his eyes convey how much he loves to fuck and how turned on he is at all times. he also seems very sweet and caring. even I would consider him as boyfriend material. and that is wildly out of the norm.

8. Kouhei Takeda as Nozue and Kimura Tatsunari as Togawa in Oldfashion Cupcake

you just know that they are great at sex, even before the infamous thumb scene. the sensuality, the amount of pent-up horniness togawa brings to the table. and while he probably hasn't gotten laid for some time i get the feeling that nozue is naturally good in bed once he feels comfortable in his body. they would make for some really great slow and dirty saturday evening sex.

9. Boss Chaikamon as Phayu in Love in The Air

yes, this is Boss being an excellent kisser but that makes it canon for Phayu in the show. Usually not that into getting dommed necessarily but oh boy would I make an exception for him. (Prapai and his beagle energy and sex at the workplace was a hot contender though).

10. Gap Jakarin as Yai in The Sign

cannot believe I only now arrived at a himbo character but here he is. you could offer to ride him and he would say thank you and maybe shed a little tear about it. maybe not the best technique but definitely the energy to balance it out.

honorary mentions: Daddy Dan (Papang Phromphiriya) in Only Friends...maybe not the most adventerous but he is very charming and a great kisser, Daddy Chan (Peter Knight) in KinnPorsche ...while the whole cast is stupidly hot all characters would annoy me too much to even consider for a one night stand. daddy chan however..., Time (JJ Chalach) in KinnPorsche that being said..he cheats on the most beautiful being that is Tay who still sticks with him so I guess the dick has to be fantastic

tagging everyone who wants to have a go!

#ctlyuejie writes #10 bl boys i want carnally #idk where all the older men went #my brain is working against me...#this is solely a list in terms of fuckability #which was a lot of fun #long post

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taliskermortem · 9 months

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okay so the only friend's trailer

a lot happened

a lot

i broke it down and in just over two and a half minutes they fitted in fifty scenes

(i've listed them under the cut)

all character names come from mydramalist so if they're wrong then my bad; if i know the actor but not the character name, i've put the actor's name in brackets; if i have absolutly no idea who the actor even is, i've put a question mark - if anyone can fill those in please do so

but anyway

Top/Mew – having sex on the kitchen counter (not very sanitary boys)

Top/Mew/Ray – outside party, Top being posessive and Ray being mad about it; ‘Mew only has one boyfriend’

Top/Boston – car sex

Sand/Ray – car smile (part of me want first to smile all the time and part of me knows i would not be able to handle it if he did)

Sand/Ray – BED FRIENDS share cigarettes; ‘do I need to pamper you and call you sugar daddy’

Sand/Ray – kiss on the floor with the booze

Boston/Nick – FRIEND WITH BENEFITS electronics store, broken phone

Boston/Nick – making out

Top/Mew – BOYFRIEND laser tag ‘when I take aim I never miss’

Sand/Ray – morning after ‘are you going to charge me… save your money for a shrink’ (ICONIC LINE but also... sex worker sand? i'm so curious where this is going to go)

Top/Mew – sharing shower; 'my only concern was whether or not i came'

Top/Mew – sharing biscuit; 'i just want to make you as happy as possible'

Boston/Nick – red room; ‘you should be glad to be my favourite’

Sand/Nick – argument ‘you hurt my feelings... he's an asshole, why do you even care about him?’ (okay i'm so curious about this friendship because let's be real this is like the only moment in the entire trailer where any of them even look close to being friends)

Namchueam/Mew/Ray/Boston – ‘friends don’t do this to each other’; confrontation with Boston where he gets full on kicked into the pool

Sand/Ray – argument ‘what are we to each other’

Mew/Ray/Top – Mew and Ray hug, I think Top sees this

Mew/Top – argument ‘why do I have to learn this when I already love you’; crying back hug

Sand/Ray – argument ‘you think my life is better with you but it’s going to hell’; Sand throws glass jar on floor

Sand/Ray – ‘now you’re in my life I won’t let you walk away’ (okay total 180 from the previous scene we're definitely in for a rollercoaster of emotions aren't we)

Sand/Ray – record store smile (another first smile to hurt me)

Boston/Nick – electronics store ‘I just want you to love me... I never loved you’ (oh these two are so messy i cannot wait) ONLY FRIENDS, MY ASS

Top/Mew – dancing

Sand/Ray – sitting in bed hug (and another first smile)

Sand/Ray – guitar holding hands

?/Boston – sex scene (okay who is this with? neo is just picking up all the boys isn't he)

(Papang)/Nick – office kiss (GUMPA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?)

Namchueam/(Nonnie) – cheek kiss (les... lesbians? pretty please)

Boston/Nick – swimming trunks on the jetty tickling and cheek kiss (this is adorable i'm going to get whiplash watching this)

Top/Mew – library smile

Top/Mew – lying in bed, Top looking at sleeping Mew and rolling over to hug him

Ray – at the strip club surrounded by women

Sand/Ray – car kiss (same shirt as outside the party)

Pills scattered on counter (i hope they handle whatever this is well)

Top/Mew – shower kiss (continuation of earlier scene)

Sand/Ray – Ray singing in a club and Sand watching him NO MORE ‘FRIENDS’

Sand – playing in a band

JENNIE – Yo on the table with a mic (ITS JENNIE AND SHE'S LOOKING FINE)

Sand – dropping phone and stamping on it

Sand/Ray – undressing, touching tattoo (i wonder what khaotung makes of that tattoo featuring in these scenes like that is actually on his body i believe)

Top/Mew – outside studying side hug

Top/Sand – confrontation and fight ‘it’s clear you can’t take care of what you have’ (I AM SO CURIOUS WHAT IS GOING ON)

Namchueam/? – hand on shoulder of guy sitting down looking upset (who is this? what is going on? i need to know)

Sand/Ray – fighting, push Sand to floor (rude)

Boston/Mew – fighting in the pool (hilarious)

Sand/Ray – sitting in car, Sand says ‘I’ll never take someone like you as my boyfriend’ (boy oh boy)

Sand/Ray – sitting in the bathtub (voiceover ‘can’t you make an exception for me’ - wonder where this line will actually feature)

Sand/Nick – Nick sobbing whilst Sand hugs him (continuation of earlier scene, i'm going to love this friendship i can feel it)

Ray/Mew? – Ray sobbing shirtless whilst someone hugs him from behind ( I think it’s Mew because of the glasses)

Sand – sitting on the floor screaming-crying and breaking my heart

there are some scene from the pilot trailer that i really hope they keep in as well, i liked the mood and styling from that trailer a lot but i guess we'll have to wait and see

#yes this was excessive but my brain needed to process it and apparently this was the way to do it #only friends #ofts #if you spot something that's wrong please tell me

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adulting-sucks · 1 year

Note

Evans has two choices: stay in whatever this is and as if he is okay with hate, racism, homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, and body shaming OR end whatever this is and address it. Apologize. Start his activism work again. What he’s doing now is not it.//

We also have a choice….stay and continue discussing this mess or leave and move on with our lives. People want Chris to live up to this image he’s ….his hired team built (ie waiting for him to address everything or prove this is real or PR or whatever) when the actuality of the situation is…..this may indeed be who his is. This isn’t the first time Chris has been in mess. When he started a public relationship with a married woman, that wasn’t the final straw?

He’s shown who he is multiple times, but people keep moving that marker because they want to believe he’s “Chris Evans” the celeb and is a semi decent guy who made a mistake getting involved in this crap and not Chris Evans a random white man who is famous and lives in Boston, Massachusetts where racism is prevalent, a random man who’s dating a woman 16 yrs younger, a random man who’s probably like other men or worse than many of the men we actually know. A random man who is using his fame and power to get what he wants and live however he wants while publicly acting like he’s the opposite. A random guy who calls his fans crazy when they are messing up his PR stunt but says he’s loves them when they are helping hide his dick pic online after HE “accidentally” leaks it.

Hollywood is a business, they pay him, they dictate how he moves at times because they determine if he remains relevant so he does what’s needed while getting multiple perks. PR works because HW knows how invested people are in these celebs and the celebs know it too, which is why they go through with the PR crap. When we’re freaking out over stuff, they are somewhere relaxing or plotting their next move based on reaction…..how long do we choose to continue to entertain them and be used is the ultimate question.

You can ignore it if you choose. I won’t ever ignore racism, homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, body shaming, that’s just not in me.

Look, he’s spent 20+ years fighting these things. I don’t see him all of a sudden being a racist antisemite who’s loving shaming women for their bodies.

The image of the internets boyfriend is gone, and I couldn’t care less about that. I care about the people, myself included, who have been hurt by the inaction and performative actions at a time when we needed someone on our side. We’re being killed left and right for no reason.

If he is shitty boyfriend, great. I am not going to date him. If he likes to sleep around, awesome. Everyone should embrace their sexuality. If he wants to get hair plugs and Botox, do it! Do what makes you feel better.

But if he wants to be as vile and disgusting as the other people involved in this, then no. I refuse to ignore it, I will always call it out, and if people cannot understand why that is so important, then they haven’t been paying attention

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inventedfangirling · 8 months

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ep 3 thoughts

firstkhao have way too much chemistry to be cast as mere fuckbuddies...what the hell was that domestic shiz in the morning after scene make it stop i dont wanna love them together more than i already do but i also know there's more cute shiz coming and i cant complain cos boi do i wanna see it all

pls that kitchen scene where ray tells sand that he's just teasing him but then asks him if he's okay with it pls?? more of that pls. i love it. i love them!!! also i cant believe im saying this but im having way more fond feelings for sand than ray so far. that being said khao looks criminally goodlooking🤌

boston projecting onto nick by asking him if he likes top too lmao but also im not really getting why he's being so good to nick. why the casual intimacy, the random cheek kisses and shiz when nick seems upset, seems more than what boston is used to doing with others. he clearly developing a soft corner for nick whose deviousness we're just starting to really get into altho ofc the signs were there since ep 1 gawd the mess is just getting started

as soon as i thought that and bam boston has gotten to manipulating both ray and top in very different ways to attain the same outcome, cant wait for when all of this blows up in his face, courtesy nick

oh also cannot wait for mew to find out all the shit thats been happening behind his back and go batshit crazy cos thats gonna be THE EPISODE

ahhh more firstkhao how did i forget about this car scene

um how about you first stop looking so edible then maybe he wont send puppy dog eyes your way but also you arent even looking at his eyes!????

nooooo why did mew have to lose his key i hate that sand finally gave in only to be faced with disappointment why you do that to him ray WHY but also i cant help love that he dropped his makeout session immmediately to go help out his friend eventho its mainly due to his feelings for him, stilll any stray bit thrown to friendship in this mishmash of sexual/romantic relationships i will take.

yikes nick bugged the car pls his expression while standing outside i dieeed

im finally caught up and next week's preview my gawds i really everybody to back off and take my baby sand's feelings into consideration...he is such a softboy people need to treat him with the love he deserves i will RIOT and also as much as i love sandray together i am very excited for ray and mew's kiss next week time for the pairs to mix and match...id never have watched such a mess of a show a while ago but now that i am watching it, i wanna lean into wholly.

can we get more screentime for the lesbians too that would be great kbye, until next week

#only friends #ep 3

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damnslippyplanet · 9 months

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Slippy Watches: Only Friends, Episode 1

Okay SO. A friend is feeling poorly and not able to fully do subtitles right now, and I was like, I am not local to you, I cannot bring you casseroles and pet your hair, but I can and will write you a recap of Only Friends Episode 1, because sometimes that’s friendship. SO. Only Friends! I love mess. Here we go. It's been years since I did a Slippy Watches, so let's see how this goes.

Most of our key players as outlined by a voiceover in the beginning assigning them each roles at a drunk night out are:

Mew, the designated table-holder who keeps other people from taking over the table while his friends are all off dancing and hooking up.

Cheum, The Girl, also the designated dancer who just wants to get ONE more dance in before they call it a night. Cheum needs more backstory. Let’s hope she’s queer. Girlfriend rights for Cheum!

Sand, the singer/guitarist for the bar band. Sand is played by First and so I love him with all my heart and nothing he does could ever be a crime.

Ray, who I don’t think we actually learn until later is called that but I don’t care, who is The Drunkard in our montage. Because he is played by Khaotung he is unfairly beautiful even with his head in a toilet. It’s rude.

Top, because sometimes Thai BL just shrugs and gives people the names they deserve, who we don’t learn much about at this point except that he’s a hot guy who knows his way around a cheesy-smooth pickup line

Boston, The Hunter, who is at the time of our story cuddled up in a narrow hallway trying to talk his way into a threesome.

Yo, the owner of the YOLO bar where these folks apparently spend much of their time. Yo wants everyone to have fun, get drunk, and get laid. We love Yo, i think.

In a tidy little montage of Mew attempting to haul his assorted drunk and horny friends out of the bar we learn several things:

They are at a singles(-ish) event where various wristband colors indicate what you’re looking for and who can try to hit on you, long live hanky code in spirit if not practice

Ray is a pretty but also fighty drunk, Sand is trying to do his damn job and would just like to take a piss in peace and is not above threatening to pee on Sand’s head if he won’t get it out of the damn way, and Mew is fairly well-practiced at dragging Ray out of stupid drunk-fights he’s picked. I assume by the time I have posted this for you, friend, there will be at least five piss-kink fics on AO3 about Sand/Ray. Long live fandom. <3 <3 <3

Mew does not know what to do with a cute boy he has accidentally stumbled into, but Top knows exactly what to do with him so that’s fine, except for how Ray is giving Mew the disgruntled-crush eyes of I Can’t Believe You’re Letting This Guy Flirt With You Right In Front Of My Drunk Salad. Ray drags Mew away. Again: I love mess.

Boston would absolutely have talked himself into that threesome if Cheum hadn’t come to drag him away, RIP, Boston’s dick. Also his phone, which gets its screen cracked when Cheum causes him to drop it.

*******

And then we are at school, where apparently Cheum, Boston, Ray, and Mew are all in business class and doing some sort of final graduation project involving creating a business plan for a hostel. Ray’s rich dad has just sort of given them a spare house he has lying around to use for their project, which seems exceedingly normal.

Their teacher: “This is awfully ambitious given that you are four messy queer college students and also Ray might literally be asleep on his feet right now, are you sure you don’t want to rethink this? You could literally just write me the expected report about an imaginary business plan, you don’t have to *actually start and run a hostel*.”

Students: “Nah, it will be fine, what could go wrong?”

Me, who has seen narrative foreshadowing before: *cackles*

If they’re gonna build an actual business, though, they need a designer to help them renovate their free building. Luckily, Boston knows a guy. Stick a pin in that, it will be relevant.

*******

But first: Boston needs to get his phone fixed. So he slides into a phone repair place being staffed by Mark Pakin. I know his name is Nick but he’s just Mark Pakin in my heart. There’s a bunch of flirting about who’s the nong-est of the two of them, and how oh no, Mark Pakin can’t fix the phone right on the spot, so Boston’s gonna have to leave it and come back to make fuck-eyes at Mark Pakin another day.

It’s important to know that Mark Pakin’s shirt says SVSS on the collar, and I’m sure that’s a designer, but if I want to believe that Mark Pakin is a Bingqiu shipper, you can’t stop me.

*******

So now we are back at the bar for trivia night and I have some real questions about the nature of the trivia, like, is “what was the first hotel in Thailand” a normal thing to know? IDK, maybe. The important things to note here are that Mew isn’t drinking so Ray cheerfully drinks all the shots Mew wins for getting questions right, which will no doubt end well. And that Top shows up like a heat-seeking missile to see if his pickup line impressed Mew the other day, answers the hotel trivia question, and slides on into the booth to help them rock trivia night. Ray: Not happy. Still drinking.

HEY GUESS WHAT, Top is the designer Boston knows who can help them all with their unnecessarily complicated hostel project. Love that for Top, Mew, and me. I’m not sure if it’s an academic integrity issue but that seems like too complicated a question for bar trivia night.

Ray does not love it. Ray gets pissy and Mew tries to cut him off and get him a ride home, but Ray fucks off crankily. I think all his friends lose a point here for letting him leave that drunk, but maybe they think he’s just going to stick his head in the toilet again and will be back. Unclear.

Meanwhile, Top and Boston head over to the bar for a little confab about whether Top should try to fuck Mew, while Cheum and Mew stay at the table for a parallel confab about whether Mew should try to fuck Top. The answer is yes, everyone should try to fuck everyone. Boston isn’t so sure the fucking thing is going to work out - he’s pretty sure Mew would like to go home early, drink milk, read a book, and put on some easy listening music. Which sounds like a banger of an evening to me, and also to Top, who is bored of easy bar hook-ups and thinks it might actually be fun to fuck to easy listening for a change. He could learn to like milk! But Boston is being weird about this, for reasons we will find out later. I love mess.

*******

So while Top goes off to see if Mew wants to re-enact the “Johnny teaches Baby to dance sexy after she carries a watermelon” scene on the dance floor, Boston stands around waving an I Am Down To Fuck A Rando sign. (Figuratively. Sort of.) With his sign he catches my boy Drake Laedeke, who I don’t think even gets a name here, he just showed up for a cameo as One Night Stand Guy who sidles up to Boston wearing the worst shirt in the world and still manages to pick him up. Hi, Drake!

Meanwhile: Sand is out in the parking lot in a great leather jacket, getting ready to take off on his motorcycle, but whoops, he has parked next to Ray’s fancy car, which currently has Ray sort of half in it. Ray has managed to get himself even more trashed and *absolutely* should not drive anywhere. And he has also managed to run down his phone battery, so Sand’s disgruntled attempts to get the drunk dipshit to call his friends for help don’t go well either.

Ray: I mean, YOU could drive me home, hot bar singer guy

Sand: Or you could take a nap in your back seat and drive home later, worst person in the world who I am definitely not going to end up in love with during the course of this show

Ray: OR I could pout at you until you drive me home, also I am going to give you my street name but not my house number before I pass out, this will in no way be a problem.

Sand: *folds like a cheap card table, hauls Ray to the passenger seat and buckles him in because Thai BL never met a seat buckle it couldn’t eroticize, grumbles about how much he’s going to charge Ray for being his personal taxi service, and drives away in his car, leaving his poor motorcycle behind.

*******

Oh my god, that was all the FIRST SEGMENT. On the plus side the remaining three combined are the length of this one, so we’re halfway through. No one has actually fucked yet! We’re gonna make up for it, though, hang in there.

*******

Now we are in Mew’s apartment, which Top has talked his way into with a line about needing a glass of water for a headache. They manage two minutes of bland chitchat about the decor and the water before Top is like, okay, I recognize that you’re the virgin cinnamon roll but just to check in, you DO realize the water thing was a line, right? Also can I take your glasses off?

Mew does realize it was a line and he is down for some making out which turns into some “stripping down to our boxers in the kitchen, clambering onto the countertop together, and letting Top grope him and lick his chest extensively.” Good for them. Good for them!

But I do not think Mew’s first penetrative sexual experience should happen on his countertop, and fortunately for me he agrees, calling a halt to the proceedings and offering Top some ice cream instead because he doesn't actually feel like he knows the guy well enough yet to fuck him. But he’s very pink and fetching without his glasses as he makes the ice cream offer.

I have decided to accept Mew into my heart and I would have had to yell at Top if he decided to be a jerk about it, but fortunately Top is kind of into the novelty of someone who actually wants to get to know him before jumping straight to the kitchen hookup. So this honestly goes much better than it could have, good for both of them for navigating an awkward moment gracefully.

*******

AND NOW, everyone spirals out into the inevitable outcomes of their evenings:

Sand has given up on finding Ray’s house and taken him back to Sand’s, where Ray promptly resumes sticking his head down a toilet and puking. I hate puke scenes so I’m forwarding here but it’s important to know that Sand does pat Ray’s back while he empties his entire soul out through his mouth. And then they collapse onto the floor together and Ray puts his head on Sand’s shoulder and Sand stares off into space for a while like, this is my life, these are my choices, why is the most beautiful awful man in the world in my bathroom right now.

Boston and Drake are back at Drake’s, where they strip out of their terrible shirts, vault into bed, and Boston proceeds to fold Drake in half and rail the lights out of him. Bless. Thank you for your service, Drake.

This is hilariously intercut with Mark Pakin, who has taken Boston’s phone home with him so that he can jerk off to Boston’s saucy selfies. Aw, buddy. I mean, don’t do that, but also the montage is funny enough that I’m going to overlook all of my opinions about why you should clear anything sensitive off your phone BEFORE leaving it with the phone store rando

Mew and Top have put their shirts back on but not their pants, and are handfeeding each other ice cream in the kitchen while Mew explains very reasonably that he knows himself well and knows that if he has sex with Top he’s gonna get obsessed with him. Study his instagram, listen to sad music and wallow if they can’t be boyfriends, etc. And that seems like no fun, so isn’t it better to just eat ice cream? Top is incredibly charmed. *I* am incredibly charmed. They agree to have a sleepover and just cuddle, and proceed to do just that.

*********

Ray wakes up the next day hungover on Sand’s couch. He has somehow ended up in a shirt reading POOR BOY in huge letters and I am, once again, cackling. Thai BL shirts are my favorite thing. How pissy was Sand when he picked that out. How much did he have to bully Ray into wearing it. Someone write me the missing scene immediately.

So Ray spends a few minutes taking stock of his surroundings in a way that strongly suggests that “waking up blacked out in an unfamiliar place and doing a quick scan of where his stuff is and whether he’s in any danger is not an unfamiliar experience for him” and, oh. Oof.

Sand wanders out into the living area still pulling his shirt on, and Ray starts to get his bearings and to slip into more jokey “oh, it’s YOU. YOU didn’t have to get me drunk if you wanted to fuck me, ha ha ha, so, uh, DID we fuck, and was it, uh, consensual, or did you like roofie me?” mode. Awkward. Very awkward. And Sand isn’t finding the joke funny, so Ray shifts gears into “Where the hell is my stuff anyway, did you rob me?” mode.

It all ends badly with Ray shoved out the door with his stuff in his arms. Which, fine, but he’s gonna have to return the Poor Boy shirt eventually. Anyway we all know I love an enemies-to-lovers arc so please keep sniping at each other for another episode or two, boys.

*******

Meanwhile, Mew and Top have just…deciding to keep having a cute date on into the next day, I guess? They’ve gone to the bookstore, where Mew is explaining how much better it is to read about love than to be IN love with all the mess that entails. Top is like, counterpoint, books are great but there are some things books can’t give you, like emotional intimacy and also blowjobs. Point to Top, there.

But he doesn’t get to press his point because that’s when Ray calls from his car (still wearing the Poor Boy shirt) to complain about his bad night. And then Ray gets pissy when he finds out Mew is STILL with Top the next DAY, and hangs up, and then his seat belt gets stuck. Because you can’t eroticize a seatbelt by yourself. Poor Ray, everything is the worst.

*******

Boston goes back to get his phone from Mark Pakin, who apparently did fix it at some point in between jerking off to it. Mark has also a) given Boston the People I’m Horny About discount, and b) left his own saucy pictures on Boston’s phone. Again: the infosec is terrible, but I love the moxie.

Boston: WHOOPS my phone somehow broke again right now while I was looking at this hot picture of you, I need you to fix it immediately.

Mark: Store’s closed for business right now, i gotta go bang Boston behind the display of screen protectors. I will turn off the lights but I will NOT lock the door.

And then they jerk each other off about it. Sorry, pal, I really wanted to make some kind of phone sex pun here but I just can’t think of one tonight.

*******

And now: a school project montage. Top has come to class to bring Mew notebooks for some reason? He’s a fully grown adult who is not in school with them, correct? Let’s not think about it too hard. Maybe they brought him for show and tell. Anyway, a week passes in montage while they work on redecorating Ray’s dad’s building into a hostel. Both Ray and Boston are really annoyed about all the MewTop flirting going on.

Do we think Ray and Boston are going to have a little proxy-fuck about it at some point? I think that would be nice because, again, I love mess.

And then the week is over and it’s time to go to the bar again, where Cheum is heartily on Team MewTop and thinks they should fuck before covid or radioactive cesium kills everyone. Oddly nihilistic, Cheum, but you’re not wrong. Ray thinks maybe Top’s a secret asshole. Mew is like, hey, I’m a grownup, I haven’t slept with him yet but I might if I feel right about it, and I can make my own decisions, everyone please care less about my dick.

Honestly, Mew is way too well adjusted and sensible for this friend group. Is he going to melt down spectacularly at some point?

*******

In a scene that is a gift for me personally, Ray goes outside to find Sand apologizes for accusing him of being a thief and possibly maybe just a little bit rapey, thanks him for saving his life, and bums a light for a cigarette off him while standing around in just the *most* submissive and breedable posture about it?

Sorry, youths who were young enough to have missed the years when smoking was sexy, but *I* still remember the intense frisson of having your cigarette lit for you, and so for me personally this is actually the sexiest thing that happens in this episode. I feel like I need a cigarette about it but I do not smoke anymore so I’m just gonna gnaw on my fist for a while. Fuck. It’s so good. I’m going to make this scene my entire personality now, sorry.

*******

Apparently the show is still happening even though all I care about now is Ray and Sand, so:

Boston and Top head off to the bathroom to piss in adjoining urinals while Boston eyes Top’s dick intensely and is like, man, are you SURE you actually want to bother with Mew? I’m RIGHT here and super willing to fuck again - which is how we learn they’ve fucked in the past - and I’m a much surer thing.

But Top wants to *date* Mew, which is the most horrifying thing he could have said to Boston. Apparently they’ve talked about this before and Top has a “one and done” rule for Boston, which Boston is not pleased about. Boston, buddy, the dick cannot have been so good that you need to do this somewhat embarrassing level of throwing yourself at the guy at the urinals.

Anyway the gist is: Boston’s kinda trying to undermine the MewTop thing, but Top has decided he wants to be Mew’s boyfriend.

So just to hammer the point home, Top immediately goes out to the bar stage and takes over the microphone from Sand and makes a big public thing out of asking Mew to go steady. AUGH, public relationship announcements are my kryptonite, I hate them, make it go AWAY.

But Mew’s into it, and Yo is delighted with the drama in her bar, and Cheum is living her MewTop shipper dreams, and Ray and Boston are making sour faces, and Sand just wants his microphone back.

Somewhere, Mark Pakin is presumably jerking it about whatever he unethically downloaded off Boston’s phone. I hope he gets to meet the rest of the gang at some point.

#slippy watches things #only friends

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tm-trx · 8 months

Text

Only Friends.04

spoilers below the cut

scattered thoughts from the tv journal as I watched:

oh shit Ray

good, we’re jumping right into what actually happened between Mew and Ray back then

Ray is so freaking brave, confessing to Mew like this; especially after seeing how much he depends on Mew’s friendship

calling out the sleep kiss trope

okay yeah Ray’s got me - i’m a sucker for a sad sad man LOL

“bad reputation” is putting it mildly

B for Boston? kind of an odd detail; he doesn’t strike me as the type of person to give gifts let alone a corporate toy plane?

look at Sand delivering the gentle lecture; it’s gonna hurt if he/when gets smacked down by the plot

“you only listen to old music your parents put on” astute observation Sand, but also ouch

Top’s face when he saw Boston - instant dislike and disgust - read the room Boston

cameras in the elevator?

I still need to know if Top has said he’d be monogamous to Mew - does the 'boyfriend' label include that assumption?

so Boston has a politician father - Nick could do more damage than i thought

oh interesting - Nick went to Top with what he knows but didn't tell him he has proof

ah so Mew is worried about Beam - I wondered about his non-reaction last episode

ugh i hate this kind of ‘bargain’ - someone using drugs isn’t going to stop that easily so it’s always going to go badly

post-episode thoughts:

Ray & Mew - I loved seeing more of the history between Ray and Mew. And I hope we get more, because they clearly have deeper levels to their friendship than we've seen so far.

Top - I was kinda hoping he'd come clean to Mew about hooking up with Boston and that would be what pushed Mew to offer himself, which would then force Top to turn him down (because he realizes he's pushed Mew's boundaries too far). But that's fanfic territory. LOL Also, Top? No one believes you only take drugs recreationally.

Mew - Again, the bargain. I cannot stress enough how much I hate it. It's lazy writing, because it will always end badly. That is the point of making a bargain like that. It's like fridging the wife. Lazy shortcuts.

I can't believe we're only on episode four of this series. It feels like we're halfway through with the amount of plot going on. It's great.

#ofts #only friends the series #ofts spoilers #ql drama #tmtrx watches dramas

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