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little-bloodied-angel · 6 months

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When I was twelve I read my first queer book. I gasped and cried when Dorian was the hand that drove a knife into Basil; when I understood that meant "his love killed him".

I had been told about it. I had been warned against the kind of love that would inevitably lead to your destruction. I'd been ten when it happened in real life around me for the first time, the boy I'd barely met who sentenced himself to death for who he was, while my school and my church warned us about his sin and slapped gags over our mouths.

I saw it happen again. Again. Again.

When Brokeback Mountain came out the world was so concerned with making gay cowboy jokes that by the time I dodged my mother enough to watch it I thought it was a comedy, and it gutted me. Not just because of the very real and very visceral tragedy it represented, but because I understood that the world would watch even our darkest misery and laugh.

There was no escaping it in this world, and there was no escaping it in art. The happiest endings we got were subtext. We died, or we were a mockery, or we were evil, or some godawful combination of the three.

My best friend died in my arms when I was fourteen years old and he sixteen, and I was supposed to accept that his queerness killed him as though it hadn't been his father and his priest and the self hatred that kept him pliant but ate him inside until there was nothing left.

I read De Profundis and wept and wondered if he hadn't known all along that his love would kill him too.

Being queer and trans and a mixed Jew, and growing up Catholic because the wrong parent took charge, meant growing up with the fear and the shame and the guilt and the pain; it meant burying those I claim as my people, even those who died before I was born; it meant the terror of burying someone else; it meant being pigeonholed in roles I'd never asked to play and being less than a person; and on the screen and the page it was more of the same. At fifteen I'd lived more than most people do at ninety, and I can't remember a time when my soul didn't bear permanent scars. I can remember when I started giving my body scars to match.

I am damaged. Because the world decided they knew what I was and punished me accordingly.

I looked at Izzy last year and I thought I know you, and you know me, and I let the fierce hope in my chest ignite and come fully aflame that once, just once, someone in whose eyes I saw myself would get a happy ending. I heard this show is kind this show is queer joy this show is queer love and we know how much you've needed that and I let it promise me I was safe.

I should have remembered what promises of safety have meant for me in the past.

He deserved so much better and so did we. I don't really know what else to say.

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ijustthinkevilunoisneat · 10 months

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9 people you'd like to know better

got tagged by @ijustcantfigureout thank you 🙂

Last song: How to be Human by Amber Run

Currently watching: Right this moment, random Simpsons playlists on YouTube but otherwise I'm keeping up with Superman & Lois, Secret Invasion, iCarly reboot

Currently reading: honestly nothing atm, I need to get back into reading, I typically read comics if I am reading something

Current obsession: Take a wild guess 🙃

Tagging: @tache-noire @basil-the-evil-cowboy @elphantasmo @munsinner @mightiermarvel @thegreatgherkin87 @eddiefrickenmunson @champion-cowboyshit @lilaviolet

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yallemagne · 1 year

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That person is using the old-ass academic take that Dracula himself represents homosexuality (as something predatory) and Jonathan is the self-insert who is disgusted by Dracula and therefore homosexuality (so he represents homophobia).

By that logic, TPODG is a homophobic cautionary tale against homosexuality because Dorian is gay and therefore represents homosexuality while being the shittiest man alive who dooms people.

And Basil, who is also gay, is PUNISHED with death for his same-sex love.

Like, we can make wild logical jumps too, bucko.

Me: *responding out loud* "Yeah, Dorian is Gray--"

Me: *perishes*

Spoilers spoilers!

Yeah, Dorian is gay, and he is just the worst little twink to walk this planet Earth. He murders Basil for confessing his homosexual feelings to him. HE DESTIEL-CONFESSIONS BASIL. If that isn't some internalized homophobia. Hell, I think murder is pretty external.

Now, am I saying you can't like Dorian? Nah, you can have gay characters be awful, it's only fair. Be gay do crime. But like you can't deny there's some homophobia in the depiction of Dorian. Basil is painted in a slightly better light, and I think that could be because he's sexless. He's a repenting gay while Dorian is an evil sinful gay. Dorian is the very picture (haha zing) of what lawmakers in the Victorian era thought of gay people, just an unstoppable force of debauchery.

And holy shit, if they really think Dracula is 100% homosexual, why does he assault so many damn women? Why is his main deal enslaving women for his nefarious purposes? He took one bite out of one twink and people think he's a gay icon. He's really just a rich cunt who used his wealth and power to get whatever he wanted for hundreds of years until a ragtag group of young queer adults and their grandpa kicked his ass with paperwork and soliciting. And sharp knives.

And like? Dorian killing Basil? Basil idolized Dorian and that might have contributed a bit to Dorian's narcissism, but what really led to Dorian's downfall was him literally selling his soul in a Faustian bargain and then indulging every dirty impulse he ever had. Unlike with Basil Confession, Jonathan killing Dracula is not punishing the Count for being gay, he's reclaiming his life after it was nearly completely destroyed by an abusive older man. Jonathan is a white-haired genderqueer twink who tag-teamed with a hot cowboy to murder his ex sugar daddy, he does not deserve this disrespect.

#update #people ask me things

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basil-the-middleground · 9 months

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Basil-the-evil-cowboy is now Basil-the-texas-gentlemen

#Never gonna change the Basil part #just the stuff after the

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writeranon69 · 2 years

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Incorrect Omori Quotes, Volume 1!

(Starring: Sunny, Basil, Aubrey, Kel, Mari, Hero, etc.)

Sunny: I should've left you on that street corner where you belonged...!

Omori, being VERY sarcastic and mocking: BUT YA DIDN'T--

Mari: Sunny, we need to talk.

Sunny: About...?

Mari: Just get the cat ears, it's important!

Basil: Can I sit there?

Sunny: ...Basil, that's my lap.

Basil: I know what I said.

(He ended up letting him sit in his lap.)

Omori: Sunny! Wake up! We messed up big time.

Sunny, sleepy: Omori plEASE--

Aubrey: Um, whatcha got there, Mari?

Mari, holding Sunny and Basil in one hand and holding a Boba in the other: A Boba.

Kel: Died and came back as a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

Hero: Kel, I am BEGGING YOU TO STOP.

Aubrey, distraught yet laughing: Please stop saying stupid things, YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE!

Sunny: And then his friend says, "Only a Spoonful!"!

Kel: This leads to King Bach pulling out a comically large spoon--!

Mari: I feel as though not enough people talk about this. I may look pretty, I may smell good, but you can't deny I am just as big of a dummy as my friends. I take turns using our singular braincell, I make the stupidest of decisions, and I encourage causing as much chaos as possible, no matter how much Hero begs me to stop. I am dumb, so there.

What about Headspace?

Omori: Me and my friends are going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ...and this knife I found.

Omori: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Just imagine the toll...

Omori: Trust me, I'd love to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

Omori: I was born for politics! I have great hair and I love lying.

Omori: What doesn't kill me should run because you TURNED MY FRIENDS INTO TOAST AND NOW I'M FURIOUS.

Omori: I went through an entire character arc during quarantine.

Also Omori: I think I became more evil if you're curious.

Stranger: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!

Omori: Strangie, I may get worse on purpose.

Stranger: This is a mistake.

Omori, enthusiastic: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!

Stranger: But not today.

Omori, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a huge mess.

Stranger: Is something burning?

Omori: Just my love for you.

Stranger: Omo, the toaster's on fire!

#omori #sunny omori #basil omori #aubrey omori #kel omori #hero omori #mari omori #omori omori #omori stranger

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himbos-hotline · 1 year

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*drops in here*

You're into 9-1-1 too?!

(also I feel you on the memory issue my brain is currently fried)

*picks you up cuz ya shouldnt just be dropped thats MEAN! who dropped my friend?!*

I LOVE 9-1-1- !! Where dya think I got the name Evan from! I used to use Buck as a shorterning of the name Buckley for,,,,reasons. Now its Buck short for Buckshot, But evan is one of my favourite names that I use! The new series has already made me cry and we're only two episodes in. I keep seeing everyone getting really upset about coma!Buck and I dont understand it, I think it was done correctly and so personally. People really focus on love like its a one-sided romantic thing and 9-1-1 taking the twist on that to focus on the fact that Buck saved Bobby because in all honesty, Buck showed Bobby what it was like to love again and not only love himself again but to love a child who never had that father figure.

Buck figuring out to be happy. He just has to be buck. and Buck will always BE ENOUGH BECAUSE HE IS HIM! Is so fucking important. Being told something youre entire life/something that alters you entire life, like how buck was nothing but spare parts that screwed up, has so affect on a person. Buck started to believe that, the villian of his coma dream being his own anxiousness/inability to accept that he's enough and that he doesnt have to fix everything and that he didnt fail his brother or his family, he was just a child.

I have to rewatch the episode to get like a GOOD grasp on it because I spent half the time sobbing over it. But I am kinda glad we didnt get Buddie this episode. We got the fire fam mourning someone who now is such an intergral part of it, it doesn't feel whole. Sure eddie was the one who outwardly mourned the most [not counting bobby here because god I have never wanted to just cry more] Maube ill do a breakdown on the episode and see the hate fill my inbox because Im happy that they focused on fathers and on familys and on moving on.

The entire theme of closure in that episode and closure not being like a one and done thing- its omething that takes time and is gonna hurt and youre gonna feel like youre pulling teeth and its gonna feel hopeless and useless and terrified but at the same time its gonna be so rewarding at least a little bit, small things like bucks mother measuring the floor for a counch so her son is comfortable NOT so his house looks complete mean so much to people who have had parents/caregivers not care or not outwardly show them love. Chim lettign his father stay a few more days because he knows that the relationship the two of them have is shattered, he doesnt wanna pass that onto Jee. He may be her father but that doesn't mean that she has to get his rage in her bloodstream. Trauma shouldnt be passed down through generations, but it is. But its also possible to stop that cycle.

as someone whose had a relationship with his mother much like chim and his father. Seeing the "I dont forgive you but im not going to make my daughter hate you the way I do. She isn't me, I am not her." is so heartbreakingly calming. Moving on isn't always accceptance. Sometimes its just, getting used to their presence again.

#9 1 1 spoilers #mouse has pals #basil the evil cowboy #basil the wife giver

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sheinthatfandom · 9 months

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🎉🎉 Happy Birthday to y'all both!

I swear there's a bunch of cool people that have birthdays in July.

THANK YOU SWEETIE!!!!!

And yeah my baby Beanie (5) is also a July baby. July seems to be a popular birth month lol

#loren gets mail #basil-the-evil-cowboy

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the-kipsabian · 11 months

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Sending you a hug!

i literally just closed my window so this feels appropriate lmao thank you ��💜

#basil-the-evil-cowboy #thank you for asking! <3

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thecreaturecodex · 3 years

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You mention on your Ulgurstasta post that you had an Age of Worms soundtrack when you ran the AP in High School. Any other tracks for other encounters/areas?

I actually still have the whole playlist put together! I'll stash it under a cut in the interest of saving space, but some highlights:

The Hellboy soundtrack by Marco Beltrami was sort of the backbone of the piece. The Main Theme was what I used as the main theme for the campaign as a whole, and the themes used for the Nazis in that movie were the cues for the Ebon Triad.

The Full Metal Alchemist soundtrack was also a major role (the original 2004 anime, not Brotherhood). The Homunculus theme was used as Lashonna's theme, in many variations.

Lots of Nobou Uematsu, particularly FFVI and FFVII. I used OC Remix versions of many of those tracks for fights.

The Hall of Harsh Reflections, appropriately, used music from The Thing by Ennio Morricone

Balabar Smenk's theme was the Jabba the Hutt music from Return of the Jedi

The music used for the Kyuss Knights was Spiders and Vinegaroons by Queens of the Stone Age (who were formed from a band named Kyuss)

Musically, Alhaster was Russia. Lots of Russian folk songs for its characters.

The Library of Last Resort was themed around Philip Glass music

Every time they found an artifact, I used The Ecstasy of Gold from the soundtrack to The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

Kyuss himself got One Winged Angel for his fight music, so I gave the JENOVA theme to the Harbinger of Worms, who created him.

The full list (all six discs worth, including bonus tracks!) is below the cut.

Age of Worms OST

Disc 1

1. Main Title – Hellboy Main Title (Marco Beltrami)

2. Sasha –Time’s Scar (Yasunori Mitsuda)

3. Trinton – Gilderoy Lockhart (John Williams)

4. The Whispering Cairn – Winds of Neo-Tokyo (Genioh Yamashirogumi)

5. Vincent – Nonki (Michiru Ooshima)

6. Dinner with Balabar Smenk – Jabba the Hutt (John Williams)

7. Filge the Necromancer – In the Theatre (Philip Glass and the Kronos Quartet)

8. Relics of a Lost Time – El Amor Brujo (Manuel de Falla)

9. Battle with the Wind Warriors – Battle with the Four Fiends (Nobou Uematsu and the Black Mages)

10. Into Dourstone Mine – Overture of Destiny (Michiru Ooshima)

11. Three Faces of Evil 1: The Temple of Theldrick – Evil-Doers (Marco Beltrami)

12. Three Faces of Evil 2: Maze of the Faceless One – Soul Sucker (Marco Beltrami)

13. Three Faces of Evil 3: The Eyes of Grallak Kur – Alley Fight (Marco Beltrami)

14. Diana – Dark Eyes (Moondog)

15. Escape from Dourstone Mine and The Thing from the Pool – Juurin (Michiru Ooshima)

16. Allustan – Avenue (Michiru Ooshima)

17. Clyde – Mystic Mysidia (Nobou Uematsu)

18. An Encounter at Blackwall Keep – Opening/Bombing Run (Nobou Uematsu)

19. Damon – Greed (Michiru Ooshima)

20. Into the Lizard’s Lair – River Cruise (Danny Elfman)

21. Battle with the Turtle Rider – High Above Chaos (Nobou Uematsu, remixed by OverCoat)

22. The Shaman’s Sad Tale – Land Governed by Beasts (Nobou Uematsu, remixed by OverCoat)

23. The Dragon’s Egg – Brett’s Demise (Jerry Goldsmith)

24. Blessings of the Shaman – River Cruise 2 (Danny Elfman)

25. Another Encounter at Blackwall Keep – Element’s (Yoko Kanno)

26. Those Who Have Fallen – Sad Resolution (Michiru Ooshima)

27. End Title – End Credits (Nicholas Pavkovic)

28. Bonus Track – Worms (The Pogues)

Disc 2

1. An Ominous Beginning – Beyond the Wasteland (Nobou Uematsu)

2. The Prophet – The Fall of Neo-Kuja (Nobou Uematsu)

3. Meeting Dr. Thanatos – Revelation of Fire (Claado Shou)

4. The Crooked House – Music TCC (Michael Hoenig)

5. Doppelganger Chase – Spider Dib (Kevin Manthei)

6. Mimics! – Contamination (Ennio Morricone)

7. The Hall of Harsh Reflections – Eternity (Ennio Morricone)

8. Cathar – Rider’s March (Russian folksong, performed by the Red Army Choir)

9. Zyrxog the Illithid / The Death of Damon – Mutation (Geinoh Yamashirogumi)

10. Kysom – Heavenly Spirit (Michiru Ooshima)

11. Puli – The Dragon’s Eye (Jeremy Soule)

12. Battle with the Kenku – Russian Sailor’s Dance (Reinhold Gliere)

13. Filge Unveils His Undead Army – Carriage Without a Driver (Philip Glass)

14. The Weavers – Shelob’s Lair (Howard Shore)

15. The Painter’s Madness – The Belgian Circus Episode (John Morris)

16. Maskarovka! / The Champion’s Dinner – The Kitchen, The Orgy (Basil Poledouris)

17. The Champion’s Games – Wheel of Fortune (Hans Zimmer)

18. The Shrine of Kyuss – Dog’s Attack (Jerry Goldsmith)

19. Zahol, the Cleric – Davy Jones (Hans Zimmer)

20. The Final Battle – Algiers, November 1, 1954 (Ennio Morricone)

21. The Apostle of Kyuss – The Kraken (Hans Zimmer)

22. Victory! – L’Arena (Ennio Morricone)

Disc 3

1. The Dragon Ilthane – Riddle of Steel, Riders of Doom (Basil Poledouris)

2. Falth – Jungle Dance (Max Steiner)

3. Cosgrak the Lewd – Castle Damcyan (Nobou Uematsu)

4. A Gathering of Winds – The Promised Land (Nobou Uematsu)

5. Riverof Blood – The Decisive Battle (Nobou Uematsu)

6. Rescuing Allustan – Illusory World (Nobou Uematsu)

7. Moreto – Space Station of the Ancients (Nobou Uematsu, remixed by Mazedude)

8. Battle with the Ten Thousand Year Old Demon – Fire Cross (Nobou Uematsu, remixed by Luiza)

9. Gifts of the Wind Dukes – The Ecstasy of Gold (Ennio Morricone)

10. Return to Diamond Lake– Death Rides a Horse (Ennio Morricone)

11. Ambushed by Devils – Pandemonium (Hector Berlioz)

12. Magepoint – Misha (Yoko Kanno)

13. Tenser Manzorian – Averro Reinhold (Yoko Kanno)

14. The Spire of Long Shadows – Seven Notes in Black (Vince Tempera)

15. A Dragon took the Spire! – Minas Morgul (Howard Shore)

16. Fallen Angels – Anakin’s Dark Deeds (John Williams)

17. Visions of the Past – Summer Overture (Clint Mansell)

18. Serai Keeneye – Saber Dance (Gayane)

19. Knights and Swords of Kyuss – Spiders and Vinegaroons (Queens of the Stone Age and Kyuss)

20. Ascension Interrupted – Monolith (Immediate Music)

21. The Harbinger of Worms – JENOVA for Classical Piano (Nobou Uematsu, arranged by Eric Barker)

22. Battle with the Harbinger – Piano Quartet Boss Battle Medley (Nobou Uematsu, arranged by Reu)

23. The Final Vision – Father’s Funeral (Marco Beltrami)

Disc 4

1. Heroes – Space Marines’ Theme (artist unknown)

2. Journey to Alhaster – Song of the Plains (Red Army Chorus)

3. Ilthane’s Brood – Godzilla Comes to Tokyo Bay(Akira Ifukube)

4. The Acidwraith – Ghidorah’s Theme (Akira Ifukube)

5. The Deluxury – Theology, Civilization (Basil Poledouris)

6. Adalbert Childermass – Castaniets (Yoko Kanno)

7. Blessed Angels of Hextor – Yuukoku (Michiru Ooshima)

8. The Ebon Overgod – Aw, Crap (Marco Beltrami)

9. Twenty Years of Joy – Song of the Volga Boatman (Leningrad Cowboys)

10. Macabre Feast – Smoldering Corpse Bar (Mark Morgan)

11. A Dance of the Dead – Butou (Michiru Ooshima)

12. The Prince of Redhand – The Infernal Dance of King Kaschei (Igor Stravinsky)

13. Lashonna – Homonculus (Michiru Ooshima)

14. Disciples of Darkness – Grievous Speaks to Lord Sidious (John Williams)

15. The Library of Last Resort – Facades (Philip Glass)

16. The Wild Watchers – Koyaanisqatsi (Philip Glass)

17. Trials – November 25: Morning (Philip Glass)

18. Battlewith Curwen – Black History (Yoko Kanno)

19. Heroes of Time – Symphony 8, Movement 1 (Philip Glass)

Disc 5

1. Battle with Warduke – Position X (Yoko Kanno)

2. Lashonna’s Tragic Tale – Meimyaku (Michiru Ooshima)

3. Kings of the Rift – King Kong (James Howard)

4. A Flight of Dragons – Ride of the Valkyries (Wagner)

5. Gazzilfek, the Ominous Fabler – Cefca (Nobou Uematsu)

6. Citadel of Weeping Dragons – Last Blank Spot on the Map (James Howard)

7. Dragotha’s Phylactery/ Brazzemal the Burning – Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II Opening (Akira Ifukube)

8. When Three Spirits Become One – The Bad Color (James Howard)

9. Into the Wormcrawl Fissure – Circle of Hell (Brian Tyler and Klaus Badlet)

10. The Mighty Undone – Those We Don’t Speak Of (James Howard)

11. Thesselar, the Lich – October is Eternal (Of Montreal)

12. Zulshyn, the Angel – Dancing Calcobrena (Nobou Uematsu)

13. Cults of the Wormgod – Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec (Nobou Uematsu)

14. Kyuss’ Divine Blood – Full Tense (Clint Mansell)

15. Dragotha’s Revelation – Secrets of Shizuma Drive (Masamichi Amano)

16. Battle with Dragotha the Dracolich – I Don’t Think Now is the Best Time (Hans Zimmer)

17. A Treasure Unseen in this Age – Ecstacy of Gold (Ennio Morricone, performed by Yo-Yo Ma)

18. The Age of Worms Has Begun – Blasphemy 2.0 (Immediate Music)

Disc 6

1. Tenser’s Desperate Plan – Sign (Nobou Uematsu)

2. Saviors – Church Windows: Saint Michael (Respighi)

3. Alhaster in Ruins – Tragedy Occurs Again (Masamichi Amano)

4. The Traitor’s Graves Rise – Black Water (Nobou Uematsu)

5. Filge Betrayed – Dr. Van Helsing and Dracula (Philip Glass)

6. Riggby the Patriarch – Forward to Time Past (John Williams)

7. Lashonna’s Sanctum – Kaichou (Michiru Ooshima)

8. Vampire Attack – Shingun (Michiru Ooshima)

9. Accountant of Mephistopheles – All Hell Breaks Loose (Immediate Music)

10. Broodfiends – Tadarida (Hans Zimmer and James Howard)

11. Lashonna Triumphant – Keiji (Michiru Ooshima)

12. Battle with Lashonna – Symphonie Fantastique: Dreams of a Witches’ Sabbath (Hector Berlioz)

13. Ascending the Spire – Divinity I (Nobou Uematsu)

14. Kyuss – Advent One Winged Angel (Nobou Uematsu)

15. The Wormgod Defeated – Divinity II (Nobou Uematsu)

16. The New Prince of Redhand – Guardian of the Motherland (Michiru Ooshima)

17. A Happy Ending – B. P. R. D. Suite (Marco Beltrami)

18. Bonus Track 1 – Icarus (Jason Webley)

19. Bonus Track 2 – Swelling Itching Brain (DEVO)

20. Bonus Track 3 – Dance While the Sky Crashes Down (Jason Webley)

21. Bonus Track 4 – Dragon Attack (Queen)

#age of worms #soundtrack #long post #feedback

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fangedtracks · 10 months

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Happy Birthday!!! 🎂🎂🎂

thanks basil!! hope ur doing OK!!

#asks #basil-the-evil-cowboy

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giogio-gucci-gangstar · 4 years

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Giorno’s Dinner Party: Mudad Adventure pt ?

Summary: Hol Horse enrages little GioGIo, so obviously he is forced to take drastic measures to put Hol in his place.

CW: Giorno acting like his father, attempted murder, DIO the bad dad encourages said murder, no actual murdering tho

Disclaimer: Obviously DIO reads ancient history and philosophy to Giorno as a bedtime story. He thinks graphic Greek tragedies are perfectly age appropriate for a five year old.

That was the last straw, Giorno thought to himself. His chubby cheeks were red with rage and little fists were clenched as he stiffly stomped down the hall. Hol Horse was going to pay for his sins dearly. And Giorno knew exactly how he was going to exact his revenge on the weird cowboy man.

A maniacal little giggle escaped his mouth as he changed directions in the corridor, opting instead to run into the part of the backyard where Enyaba kept what she called a “dangerous garden”. The name sounded so inviting Gionro couldn't resist! He was hoping for something scary like a venus flytrap or another plant that could bite. He giggled again imagining Hol Horse running around while a plant bit his butt.

However, Giorno’s evil little dream was crushed when he pushed open the doors to her greenhouse. There were just neatly manicured rows of what looked like herbs. And the whole place reeked of garlic. No wonder DIO didn't come back here at all.

Giorno scrunched up his nose at the smell and tried to breathe through his mouth. He walked briskly down the aisles looking for anything that could make this garden even the tiniest bit dangerous. He also made a promise to himself to grab the first possibly painful thing he saw because the smell was starting to make him gag.

Basil? No, that tastes good. Cilantro? He was sure he could find something that tasted worse than soap. Mint? No, that also tasted too good… Hemlock? Now, that one sounded familiar. Oh yes it was! Giorno distinctly remembered this one because it was one of the rare bedtime stories DIO had told him. Some guy named Socrates drank it to kill himself or whatever. The details were fuzzy, he remembered DIO called Socrates some names at this point, but it was poisonous! And boy did he want to poison Hol Horse!

~~~~~~

Hol Horse looked between DIO and Gionro skeptically. Yeah it was odd to have dinner with either of them, but the way Giorno kept laughing to himself scared the shit out of him. Honestly it was scarier than how DIO was staring at him. Hol had nervously tried to excuse himself from the table but DIO wouldn’t allow it.

“Now now Hol, don't be in such a rush. I'm sure Giorno has something spectacular planned for dinner. It's not everyday he requests both of us to join him.” DIO just grinned. He seemed a little jealous that his son had invited this mess of a man to dinner with him, but he seemed intent on letting whatever Giorno had planned play out.

The servant brought DIO a glass of his “special wine” while Giorno rushed in with what looked like half cooked pasta with cut up leaves. Hol Horse eyed it nervously; it looked very suspicious. Ok that was an understatement, everything in this mansion was suspicious but this plate of pasta looked like it could kill him. And that glare in Giorno’s eyes looked like he wanted it to.

Hol spared a glance towards DIO to see him trying to cover up a fit of laughter with a cough. Hol started nervously laughing too, at which DIO suddenly stopped.

“Won’t you try a bite Hol? It looks like Giorno worked very hard on it.” DIO purred. He had noticed immediately what sort of “herb” GIorno had used to garnish Hol’s pasta. It was an adorable first attempt at murder and he wanted to make the moment last.

“Ah sir, and kid, Im sorry but I just had a huge lunch and this sorta leafy thing isn't really my uh thing.” Hol was sweating. The pasta was definitely poisoned. It could not have looked more poisoned if a giant cartoon skull and bones formed from the steam rolling off of it. It literally screamed Hol Horse’s Poison, Poison for Hol Horse, Poison made especially for Hol Horse, Stuff that will Poison Hol Horse.

DIO let out a dramatic sigh and extended a hand to console Giorno.

“Im sorry my dear but I dont think it’s time for Hol Horse to eat that just yet. He still has a contract with Daddy, remember.” Giorno’s lip started to quiver. “But, if Hol Horse did something to hurt you we might have to reconsider that contract…”

Hol Horse had to have misheard that right? The world started to spin, when Giorno’s piercing yell tore through him.

“HOL HORSE CALLED MY DRAWING OF A LADYBUG A COCKROACH” The child was seething as it clung to DIO’s waist. Hol was scared shitless but DIO just snickered.

“Hm that was a very insensitive thing to say Hol Horse” Oh god this was it, DIO was finally going to kill him, “But you know Giorno,” DIO picked up Giorno and plopped him onto his lap, “Hol Horse is American and they're not very smart. Even for them Hol is a bit of a dud. He probably wouldn’t even know what a good lady bug looks like if he saw one in real life.”

Every bone in Hol Horse’s body had turned to jello. Yeah he knew working for an evil vampire with a revenge fantasy would be difficult, but he hadnt realized the job would make him a pawn in some terrifying soap opera of murder. Best to just go along with it he thought and tried to apologize to Giorno.

Hol reached down to ruffle Giorno’s hair as a half-assed apology, but Giorno turned to him coldly and stated, “I have rabies and I will bite you.” That was enough demon child for today Hol Horse reckoned as he quickly walked out of the room before DIO could change his mind about letting him survive.

~~~~~~

“Come now Giogio, I'm sorry that didn't go as planned but how about you come hunting with me next week?” DIO tried to console his son the best way he knew how: Father Son Murder Spree.

“It's not the same.” Giorno pouted. Oh how absolutely adorable, DIO was tearing up, he wanted to kill for revenge! How pure!

#mudad adventures #this is a crack fic #based off of a child I nanny #Shes a handful and scares me #but yeah Giorno shows his DIO side here #young Giorno #haruno #giorno #giogio #DIO #DIO the bad dad #Hol Horse #Giorno's Dinner Party #Enyaba #SDC

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