#bc not only do men get bottom surgery a lot of us dont use that shit at all even if we dont!

[astxrwar]

some of the transmasc! mig hcs rub me the wrong way. ranting transgenderishly abt it. sorrie

1. why are so many ppl defaulting to giving him top surgery scars. look at his body shape, his hips are narrow and his shoulders are broad and he’s over 6’5 lmao. dude would have been on blockers then T as an early teenager. you don’t need top surgery then. unless you construct a narrative where he went off of T for like… at least a year (but probably longer) without getting a complete hysterectomy first then this makes no sense.

it just feels like ppl dont know that much abt transmasc experiences we r not all the same and top surgery scars r not just a thing you slap on to trans someone, not all of us require top surgery + cis guys get top surgery too? just giving uneducated

2. also the fact that it seems like it just doesn’t ever occur to ppl that trans men get bottom surgery. ig that’s an in general issue but why does it seem like every hc’ed trans man character always has a pussy. plenty of us have dicks bro it just feels fetish-y. plenty of us only pass on surgery bc it’s A Lot but it’s 2099 so that’s going to be less of an issue,,, specific to miguel like. why is nobody giving him bottom surgery scars like the fact that there’s not an equal or even rly existing rep for that in a world where getting it would be INFINITELY easier makes me uncomfy it’s rly giving ‘trans men as men-lite” energy

3. also for written content same deal why is nearly every trans guy hced as one who doesn’t get bottom surgery and why is there always SO MUCH focus on specifically using the word pussy. like bitch! an example of a common thing for transmascs: i dew naught even write fem!RC content using that word i avoid almost all fem-genitalia words bc they’re extremely uncomfy to me, and that phenomenon amongst trans men is even more common than trans men who have had bottom surgery. so we have an excess of content focusing on ‘guy with pussy’ and very little if any content even just recognizing a significant amount of trans men r not okay with that terminology n often do not even like engaging their natal anatomy beyond their dicks (significant number of us also use this word and not the other one! btw!!) during sex. n ppl don’t want to write abt this bc it doesn’t fit the fetish!! im doing murder!!

4. i saw someone ranting wrt trans!mig abt how ppl make male characters transmasc to make mlm ships “less gay” wrt: sex and its just like. im going to kill u too! trans men get bottom surgery bro trans men have dicks! plenty of the ones that don’t just straight up do not do PIV! way to hit the nail on the head wrt fandoms seeing trans men as men-lite lmao and way to miss the opportunity for criticism of fandom transphobia by just. validating that perception of trans men.

idk im just so tired where is my trans miguel no top surgery scars (bc he clearly got T at puberty onset) + with bottom surgery scars content :/ arm scar from the nerve + torso scar from the graft, it’s 2099 they’ve probably perfected skin expanders atp so it would just be like. one scar instead of the scar + stretched area but like. i digress. can we please have trans men with dicks content Ever? the abject lack of it kinda feels like left wing version of rw “c*ntboy” fetishism lol. im going to make some myself bc it is an outlet to deal with my Frustration abt this and explore how all trans ppl have different transitions narratively and counter the reductive fandom goggles perception of us. in general i wish the majority of ppl just didn’t do trans hcs until it stops just being a clear and obvious extension of fetishization and stereotyping. throttling ppl biting and maiming and tearing

also like there’s so many ppl who just think trans men who get bottom surgery r gross but won’t admit it and they especially shan’t see the light of heaven and should stop even thinking abt trans men at all <3

#it just feels like. ‘omg guy with pussy 😍😍’ #and im killing u with a big rock if u think this way abt trans men #bc not only do men get bottom surgery a lot of us dont use that shit at all even if we dont! #just. sigh. the way that i feel like trans fetishism is two-pronged #comes from ppl who profess to hate us but also from ppl who profess support. and like. why. be normal pls. #astxrwar.txt #miguel o'hara

[official-sovietunion]

Yesterday was trans day of visibility. I want to write this post here bc it is the only account online where i feel comfortable doing so. I dont use this account anymore, but when i did, i was very vocal about being trans. I was vocal about being trans everywhere. I was, and still am, proud of my transness, and dedicated to fighting for myself and my trans siblings. I was also pre-medical transition, and despite feeling i looked very masculine, existing in the world meant outing myself every single day.

It is exhausting. It is exhausting to constantly be fighting and correcting and telling not only strangers but people ive known for years. I did not know there would ever be another option for me, so i accepted this and fought and made damn sure my voice as a trans person was heard. It is also exhausting to be homeless and stealth for safety reasons, knowing you have nowhere to run to, knowing that any sign of queerness could be the end of your life, knowing you must constantly hide and choose your words carefully to not gibe anything away.

Shortly before starting hormones, i experimented with being stealth in a particular online community that is known for its edginess and tendency to attract bigoted people (there is also a large amount of queer people in this community and we've managed to shift the userbase over the years to be more inclusive).

I made this decision because of the interactions i would have with some members that were sometimes s3xual, as well as interactions i had on dating apps. I had sent some nudes with a packer to cis men on grindr without really meaning to pass it off as my natal organs, but they assumed i was cis. That was the first time i realized i might be able to 'pass' in this capacity.

I knew that many of the cis people there, if they knew i had certain parts, would never fully think of me as a man. I just wanted people to imagine me with a penis regardless. Did being stealth in this community work? Not exactly. A lot of people made it clear they knew i was trans and would harass and ask me invasive questions, but i was adamant in never admitting my transness to them. We dont owe cis people anything.

Shortly after this i became homeless, following my 18th birthday. from that point on i have been 100% stealth until i find out someone else is trans too, i will tell them in private. At first i was getting misgendered still, but i would act confused like 'you thought i was a girl? How wacky and unusual for me! Haha!' This seemed to work pretty well and after a couple years on hormones i passed pretty much 100% of the time.

A lot of trans people read me as cis. This was comforting, briefly, since if even another trans person couldnt tell, a cis person definitely wouldnt be able to. But i hate it. I hate to think that any trans person has to wonder if they can be themselves around me, if they can trust me. Its interesting also to see the way cis people will talk to me about trans people, not realizing im "one of them"

I feel like i am betraying part of myself. I feel like i am betraying the whole trans community. I want to fight and be vocal again. I want to actually be open about my gender identity. I tell people i am a man because it makes things easier. Because it is safer. Because of all the people who just continued to call me a girl and said i had to pick a gender. I dont have to pick a gender. Gender isnt real to me. I will present the way i want to present.

As i get closer to bottom surgery, i feel much more confident that i will be able to be more vocal about transness. I dont know what i will tell people about my gender identity. I dont really want to have to have a gender identity at all. I have experienced far too much ego death to be connected to any concept of identity that goes any further than a preformance. I just dont want people to know my AGAB. i want them to see me as someone who has always had a penis, even if it was only in my mind for much of my life. What i really want is for people who have no business in my pants to stop thinking so hard about whats down there.

I want to balance being able to maintain my privacy while not feeling i hafta hide myself. I want to balance being able to feel safe with my activism. So many people dont have the priveldge to hide. I was one of those people once. I dont want to hide, its more important than ever that trans youth see people that look like them. This isnt something that will come easily, with everything happening politically. And aside from that, untill theres not a single transphobe left in the world, i dont think ill ever feel completely safe as an openly trans person on the street. But im working towards… something. Like everything, itll be a transition.

Im tired of my identity, my existence, being so intertwined and influenced by violence, biogtry, capitalism. If it werent for the way cis people treat us, if it werent for the way this society works that keeps us poor and refuses us housing, i wouldnt hafta worry about any of this. I would be loudly and joyously trans. I dont know if ill ever be able to get to that point, bc its not even really up to me. But if i am willing to speak up and fight, i can help make changes that will make it possible not just for me but for everyone.

[witch-without-gender]

youre just homophobic, there isnt much else to it. not everyone can be bisexual. not everyone can be attracted to the other sex's genitalia or body. i dont need to call myself superlesbian or some shit because being a lesbian alone should be enough to say "im a female who likes pussy and only pussy" but yall homophobes have ruined that to validate your nonexistant ~genders~ (as in, gender itself isnt a real thing). i can tell you dont think homosexuality is an innate and natural thing. i can tell you think all people have the capacity to be bisexual and experience attraction to the opposite sex.

males and females have different bone structures, especially in the face, and im not at all attracted to male faces. most trans woman still have visibly male bone structure and are therefore not sexually attractive to me (or other homosexual women). even trans women who do have passing facial structures still either have a penis or a faux vagina that isnt even self lubricating, so again, not attractive to real lesbians (aka homosexual woman). id also like to mention to you that if you do your research, trans women will never be able to carry children because their bodies literally dont and cant produce the hormones needed to keep a fetus alive. not to even mention that a male body would almost certainly reject have a uterus put into it.

and btw, lots of (actual homosexual) lesbians would be willing to date a trans person if hes FtM! because sexuality is based in a person's SEX, not something as made-up as gender.

why do you feel the need to help pressure homosexual women into dating people who are male? why isnt it good enough for bisexual women to date trans women? why do us lesbians need to validate them by pretending wed date dick-havers? why dont you realize it would be traumatic for an actual homosexual women to be in sexual contact with a penis?

There’s so much wrong with this I don’t even know where to start. But I guess I’ll start with the fact that claiming to be able to know if someone is biologically male/female is both sexist AND racist. This is literally how you get cis women, mainly cis women of color, being accused of being trans in sports. A lot of them just naturally have higher testosterone levels, which affects both their performance and appearance and because of people like you, they get scrutinized.

As for the “non self lubricating vagina” crap, vaginal dryness is a thing a lot of cis women experience. Sure it’s not exactly the same thing, but are you really gonna dislike a woman based solely on the fact that she’s dry? Bc that sounds pretty stupid to me.

And again, I stated it as a hypothetical. I love how y’all just prove over and over again that you don’t actually read anyone else’s arguments and just throw the same, stale, disproven bullshit at us over and over again.

I haven’t met a single lesbian who would actually date a trans man. Most that I’ve met just acknowledge that trans men are men, and one just hated trans people on the basis of our being trans. Also, just to be that person, if you consider yourself a lesbian but would still find yourself attracted to a trans man who has had bottom surgery, congrats you like dick lmfao.

I don’t want to pressure anyone into dating anyone else. I just want exclusionists to stop treating trans people like a monolith. And you’re doing that thing terfs do where they act as if every trans woman has a penis. News flash, bottom surgery still exists. You were just talking abt trans women with vaginas 5 seconds ago. How do they all now suddenly have dicks again?

Also just hilarious that you’re calling me, a pansexual queer, homophobic. Oh but do go ahead and be panphobic. Please tell me all about how I’m actually bisexual (as if bisexuality doesn’t also include all genders literally in the bisexual manifesto) or straight. Please tell me what my sexuality actually is just like you claim I’m doing to you.

Anyway, seriously get off anon so I can block you or I will stop answering these. I’m tired of having the same argument over and over again with you misogynistic, racist, transphobic fucks. Get over it or get bent.

#asks #terf #terf tw #transphobia #transphobia tw #transmisoginy #transmisogny tw #racism #racism tw

[slutaktion]

a few tips on sex with trans men & transmasculine individuals, from my own experience

(these tips could apply to you both as a cis or trans/nonbinary person. a lot of them could probably apply to sex with transfeminine ppl but i dont have the experience to speak on the subject so ill keep it to what i know.)

1. someone who hasnt had top surgery may not be comfortable with you seeing their chest during sex. you also shouldnt assume that they wont be comfortable with it. consider both possibilities before having sex. talk to your partner. are they comfortable having their chest exposed? are they comfortable with you touching their chest? is that in fact something they want you to do? you dont want to trigger dysphoria or discomfort in your partner - you also dont want to avoid touching them when they want you to because you made an assumption about their dysphoria (& possibly make them feel like youre uncomfortable with their body). some transmasculine people may be uncomfortable with seeing or touching their partners chest because it will trigger their own dysphoria. thats also something that may need be discussed.

some examples of possible scenarios: maybe you wont ever see or touch your partners chest. maybe theyll wear a binder, a sports bra or a shirt at all times. maybe you wont see their chest but youll touch it through clothing. maybe youll see their chest but you wont touch it. maybe youll see and touch their chest. etc.

2. the same ideas apply to your partners genitals: if they havent had bottom surgery, dont assume that your partner is looking for genital stimulation, vaginal penetration, or anything that they havent stated they want. 

some transmasculine people are comfortable with vaginal stimulation & sex. some transmasculine ppl prefer anal sex. many transmasculine people dont bottom at all. dont assume that a transmasculine partner will bottom.

3. if your partner hasnt had bottom surgery, ask them what you should refer to their genitals as. personally, i just asked my partners "what do you want me to call your junk?" & that was that.

dont assume that a partner is comfortable with you calling their vagina a "pussy" or another slang word, or even that they want it referred to as a vagina. dont assume they want their clitoris referred to as their clit. on the other hand - dont assume that theyre necessarily uncomfortable with that. some transmasculine people would feel weird calling their clitoris a dick. some transmasculine people dont have bottom dysphoria & are fine with you referring to their genitals with typical slang used for vaginas. some transmasculine people may prefer that you never acknowledge or refer to their genitals at all - especially if they dont want you to touch their genitals at all, they may just want to not be reminded of them at all. 

4. you should always aim to discuss boundaries, with any partners. this is especially important with trans partners because you may have assumptions, doubts, or expectations that you may have never questioned. 

you may assume that a trans partner will always top or always bottom (note: this is often linked to assuming that "everyone with a vagina bottoms" & "everyone with a penis tops", which really is based in cisheterosexual norms of sex; these assumptions align trans ppl with standards of their assigned gender at birth & are pretty transphobic). you may have assumptions about your partners level of comfort with some sexual acts or with their or your anatomy. you should aim to talk about how you view the sex youre going to have so you can know what to actually expect & do. that kind of talk doesnt have to be coldly medical either. ask your partner questions: "do you want to fuck me?" "would you like it if i went down on you?" "do you like when i touch your chest?", etc.

5. if your partner is on testosterone, dont expect their genitals to be the same as the genitals of a cis woman. testosterone causes clitoral growth, which means your partners clitoris is going to be larger. it can be more or less big depending on the person. for many people, it will get visibly harder and bigger when theyre aroused. on t, the clitoris may behave pretty much like a very small penis (think if just the head was poking out of the body). people on testosterone may produce less lubrication, which means if youre going to vaginally penetrate your partner you absolutely should count on having lube (note: you should always count on some lube regardless of your partners sex or hormones anyway bc it can always come in handy). in some cases, transmasculine people may have vaginal atrophy when on testosterone, which means the lack of lubrication will cause tearing to the tissues. this can make vaginal penetration very painful or impossible. if your partners wants vaginal penetration but it became painful after hormones, or if the vaginal atrophy causes them pain in daily life outside of sex, they may want to look into asking a doctor for a topical estrogen treatment. such treatments are applied only to the vagina & do not counterbalance the effects of testosterone, but they can stop vaginal atrophy.

if your partner is getting on testosterone, they may experience a rise in sexual libido, a few weeks/months into testosterone. they may find that theyre horny very often, sometimes even constantly. that can be a pretty fun time! however, if you have a long-term partner who is getting on testosterone, it can be a good idea to talk about this beforehand. would you like to be having a lot more sex, or would you rather they handle it privately?

if you started sleeping with someone after they got on testosterone, and they were very horny all the time as an effect of testosterone - if this wasnt the usual state of their libido before hormones, its likely that its not going to stay like that in the future. after time, their libido will probably decrease again and theyll find themselves to be in the mood less often, closer to their libido pre-testosterone. this doesnt mean that theyre less attracted to you or you did something wrong - its just an effect of hormones.

6. if you have a penis, you need to use a condom whenever you have penis-in-vagina sex, unless your partner has had a hysterectomy. testosterone may reduce fertility or even prevent a person from getting pregnant completely... but you dont know that for sure. many people on testosterone can still become pregnant, even if theyve been on testosterone for months or years, even if they never have periods anymore. (you should also always use protection, unless you & your partner are exclusive & you know what stds you may or may not have & how to prevent spreading them. this is just specifically abt the pregnancy risk.)

7. after all these tips... dont be scared. sex with a trans person is not fundamentally different from sex with a cis person. the goal is still to share an intimate moment with another person, where the both of you try to make one another feel good, & the key to that is still to communicate what both of you are looking for & what your boundaries are. you may be lacking a baseline understanding of parts of sex with a trans person bc you probably havent received education on anything but penis-in-vagina sex between a cis man & a cis woman, & even if you know about gay sex, its probably between two cis men or two cis women. but in the end, its all about just checking in with each other & doing what feels good.

- rezki

more on these subjects:

Sex and Communication

Vaginal bleeding after testosterone

#trans #trans partner #safe sex #boundaries #communication #dysphoria #trans man #transmasc #hrt and sex #rezki

[silenthillmutual]

Hey! For the ask meme, 5, 9, 12, 16, 21 :) Is that too many???? I think that's too many but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(actually i dont think its too many but ily you anyway!!)

5. what makes you feel validated?all my family members (except my mom) not even asking when i change names, just saying “hi [insert new name]!” like i do wish they cared a lil bit more than they do about what’s going on in my life but that part at least!! feels good

9. what does your name mean?tbh, weeb ass got it from noriaki kakyoin initially just as like, an rp nickname? bc i used to rp kakyoin a lot. but i dont want to go by noriaki since i’m white and i know ‘nori’ by itself pops up as a name or nickname in other cultures, although outside of japanese & arabic i can’t find it right now.

tbh i really like that it just sounds like ppl are calling me seaweed, although i’ve also seen that depending on the kanji used it could also mean doctrine/belief. i wish i could find the use of it in other cultures but scrolling through baby name websites is both nauseating and unhelpful, although one person said that in lithuanian it means “wants”

i was going to go by kieran as a middle name until my mom ruined that (like she did with luke) but atm i’d rather accept link - like from legend of zelda, since link was designed to be androgynous and a lot of trans ppl relate to him (although ppl trying to find a deeper meaning to the name on baby name sites is hilarious - ‘lincoln’, really? just admit u like video games) - or cas. cas is apparently dutch for “imperial” but i just took it from the character castiel on supernatural, and his name is probably derived from the archangel cassiel. ‘cassiel’ has a ton of different spellings depending on which religion’s texts you’re reading and which translation, but that name means “speed of god” or “god is my anger”, according to wikipedia. he’s sometimes depicted as the angel over saturn, or the angel of saturdays. he’s not depicted in the bible, but shows up in jewish/islamic/christian mystical and occult texts.

(i think its also worth noting i had a hard time finding these names on baby name sites and like, i do live to be difficult!)

12. favorite trans headcanon?

there are just so many good ones!!! danny fenton & timmy turner (made esp great by the fact that butch hartman just fucking hates it) being trans, that cow from the barnyard show on nickelodeon, reigen arataka, mob (as either trans masc or trans fem), link - and for that matter, any character when you see them shirtless and they don’t have nipples? they had top surgery and elected not to have the nipples put back on. 

i think sam porter bridges from death stranding could easily be read as a trans man or trans woman, and i like both. on the one hand, he needs an stand-to-pee device (literally, that is a part of your equipment); on the other, the game has heavy themes of motherhood and he is able to use technology to be connected through what i can only describe as an umbilical cord to the bridges baby. and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the gender commentary was entirely intentional on kojima’s part. for that matter, i also love trans solid snake and trans hal emmerich in metal gear solid. 

i also think danganronpa deserves a special shoutout, not just because you can pry canon trans girl chihiro fujisaki from my cold, dead hands and i’m sick of seeing cis bootlickers harassing ppl online over that transphobic as fuck storyline, but for real? nobody’s birth name actually spells out “diamond” with their sibling so mondo and daiya oowada are both trans (it’s also one of the only ways to make any part of case 2 make any goddamn sense), yasuhiro hagakure and celestia ludenberg having plotlines where where they have to reveal those aren’t their birth names? congrats they’re both trans now. 

i wish there were more headcanons about characters being trans women that didn’t rely on stereotyping. i know thats a big problem wrt seeing muscular or tall women and ppl focusing their trans headcanons on them, so i actually kinda head canon aoi asahina as trans and wanna eventually write that for fic w sakura ogami being cis bc people tend to look at sakura and go “well obviously shes trans bc shes muscular” (and then they do the opposite when it comes to trans men, but i’ve seen a lot of trans masc hcs). i also don’t see a lot of nonbinary hcs being given to amab people…. we need to fix that!! but alas i have already rambled a lot so thats a post for another day.

16. song that gives you Big Trans Feels?

if we’re not including music that is literally about being trans (like “transgender dysphoria blues” by against me!) then, “twin size mattress” by the front bottoms! the lines “it’s no big surprise you turned out this way / when they closed their eyes and prayed you would change / and they cut your hair and sent you away / you stopped by my house the night you escaped / with tears in my eyes, i begged you to stay / you said, ‘hey man, i love you, / but no fucking way’“ always sounded like he was talking about a trans girl friend of his, but i dont know enough about the band to say for certain what that song is about. it probably helps that i felt that song extra hard when i was first coming out and w how my relationship w my mom was like.

21. what makes you feel euphoric?

back when i first started going by luke (and then later by nori), my dog bingley would just blink at you and not react if you told him to go get [deadname]. he only would come find me if you told him to go get luke / nori.

he’s such a good boy. i hope somebody steals him from my mom.

thank u for asking!!!!

trans asks

#about the blogger #lawliyeeeet #answers.txt #THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A ''I KNOW THIS AND I LOVE YOU'' IMAGE

[zofficinale]

top surgery stuff, putting it under a cut bc it might be long.

sooo I had my consult today and it went well. The Dr is nice enough, and seems to know his stuff. The only thing that annoyed me really was he asked me 1) when I knew I was trans and 2) if Ive ever had a sexual experience with a man and after i gave him his answers he said I “passed the test”. Like... if I had told him I was with guys would he have ‘failed’ me and refuse to do the surgery? Like why cant a trans man be gay? idk...thats one of my fears is when I date a guy ppl will just see me as straight & not really trans bc if I was a real trans man I’d only be with women? I feel like a lot of that thinking comes from the idea that gay men aren’t real men :(

I scheduled my surgery, August 10th. I’m real excited. I have to get my stuff in order and get a letter saying I know what I’m doing. I almost wished I scheduled sooner but I know this is better for me so I can mentally prepare as well as get my money together. It honestly hasn’t hit me yet I dont think? In less than 3 months I’m going to have top surgery... wow.

he also discussed how he use to do like penis surgery for cis men and trans men before he did top surgery & shared his experience with that. & in his experience most trans men dont get bottom surgery, which makes me feel relieved bc... idk my bottom doesn’t bother me too much. one of my biggest fears is i wont be able to find someone bc im trans. I know I will feel much better about myself after the surgery

#personal #top surgery #trans journal