#bc u see ur mutuals all agree and then you step outside for a second and it’s like oh I forgot people have other takes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sotorubio · 3 years

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I'm really confused cus ppl are attacking tiff for taking control of her life, saying she doesn't need to be rescued. I thought that's a good thing? But people are saying it's fake feminism because she was so mean to lola before. But isn't that the whole point of skam? People have this "shame" in their life that they grow from? Like how everyone wanted lola to be forgiven for stuff she did to other people in s6, (eliott, lucas, daphne, etc ,) because she had her own struggles but had grown /was growing from it? But with tiff we're not supposed to support her? It's hilarious how people have decided there's a right and a wrong way to react to clips and it you don't fit the "right" reaction box then you're some kind of heathen 😔

well if we're talking real life ofc something like that is a good thing, finding ur strength after going through trauma is always good n a common "feminist" trope is that a girl recognizes that she needs no man or whatever. i haven't been that active on here recently so i haven't seen the reactions to it but this season has not been a feminist one in the least no matter how many catchphrases they throw in there

above all this season is abt a cis, white, straight and rich girl so. failed step one. ppl need to understand that if feminism isn't intersectional it's worthless n this doesn't just mean they should've picked someone else for the role (which they should've, but there's more to it) u can't make a feminist season abt a white girl if ur gonna villanize all ur woc especially the black women. u can't make a feminist season abt a cishet, rich girl if ur gonna make the bisexual poor girl ignore the fact that this is the person who played w her trauma just a year before. u can't make a feminist season abt a rich girl if the previous season she was overworking her privilege to show how classist she was (which the fans love to forget bc they don't see poor ppl as oppressed lol) and again u can't make a feminist season abt a white girl if all her Cool Feminist Moments only happen when she's talking to a black man such as her snarky "that wasn't an invitation" when aurélien tried to kiss her or her physically attacking him bc he? cares abt their daughter? being consider a Powerful Mom Thing

if all this didn't exist sure it would be considered feminist for her to not need saving, but when we put it in the context of literally everything else we can see that this is yet another poor attempt at taking a cliché feminist phrase that u could see written by a male avengers movie director for woke points. ppl need to understand that tiff has huge amounts of privilege over both aurélien (being white) n max (being cis) so her being a woman doesn't even automatically place her social status "beneath" these men. even just outside of fandom shit ppl should understand that supporting certain women will inherently be anti feminist, just bc ur cheering on a woman doesn't make u feminist.

then second abt the shame thing & lola. the "shame" in all skam seasons has always been smth "innate" due to the lack of a better world. smth that the society shames u for. the isak seasons r abt being gay bc society makes ppl ashamed of gayness, but u don't think being gay is a "shame" do u? neither is being a muslim, but the sana seasons r abt that bc again the "shame" is smth society perpetuates. the fact that tiff was "mean to lola" (she was a classist, she told her to kill herself, she made her trauma n mental illness into her own little joke) is not her "shame" bc that was her choice....that's smth she chose to do she isn't misunderstood or oppressed bc she hates poor ppl lmao. if they made made a season abt the nico character would u say his shame is sexual harassment? i doubt it. bc that's not smth he's involuntarily shamed for that's an action he chose to take.

also tiff n lola's "forgiveness" or lack thereof isn't comparable. first of all i'm not sure why u mentioned lucas? she never rly did anything to him but he on the other hand has a shitload to apologize for to her. abt eliott & daphné i also don't quite understand bc as for daphné they had a mutually toxic sibling dynamic, both failing at communication n treating each other badly but like.. even in that situation daphné was literally stalking her sister so again not sure what blame lola has on her here. n for eliott i also don't get what she should've apologized for like if u mean the club clips then u r in the wrong place bc lola didn't even do anything bad other than be rude which every other character is also guilty of smfjlskd

like see the difference? tiff & lola's conflict wasn't mutual, tiff chose to harass n stalk her based on nothing at all, she was only able to do that bc of the privilege n power she (a white cishet rich girl) has over lola (a bisexual mentally ill poor girl). i don't see how those two r in any way comparable.

so i guess that's my explanation for it. as for ur last point i do agree i don't know why it's anyone else's problem how others react to clips but even then i do think we need to understand that skam remakes take pride in their "diversity" n "representation" so sometimes certain reactions actually r objectively wrong. like saying "i liked this clip" or "i didn't like this clip" is all cool n no one should get hate for that but if ppl watch a clip where certain stereotypes r used unironically n their decision is to actually enforce the harmful message n not waste any of their three braincells for critical thinking bc It'S jUsT FiCtiOn then u r not immune to me thinking ur a brainless idiot

#inbox #anon #skam france

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vampireqrow-moved · 3 years

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hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual

im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!

in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?

if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.

why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔

why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!

basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.

a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.

many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.

how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.

if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.

if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.

a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.

prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.

why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.

just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.

i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.

again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf

#asks #long post #anonymous #pansexuality #biphobia #transphobia #my post

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elftwink · 6 years

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“I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.” + violet/arkady pls :0!

and they were roommates! violet is a uni student and arkady works full time and they live together and i didn’t think much farther than that. they’re not dating but there’s some Mutual Pining™ bc they are definitely extremely gay

Violet’s in class when Arkady texts her.

hey, the text reads, when u get home let me explain before u get mad

And it’s not like she’s paying a lot of attention to this linguistics class (she tries to, she really does, but the professor is so hard to listen to and Brian seems to regard basically re-teaching her everything “studying” for him, so she’s actually doing pretty good), but after a text like that, concentration goes totally out the window.

Violet: What?

Arkady: dw nothing’s broken and im not in trouble its not an emergency

Violet: What

Arkady: its just a long story you’ll be on my side i promise

Violet: what!

Arkady: if u say what one more time i will leave u on readArkady: i’ll explain as soon as ur here

Violet huffs in irritation, and considers tapping Brian’s shoulder to see what he has to say about what on earth this could possibly mean, but considering she’s sort of relying on him for notes later, it seems ill-advised to bother him now. Also, she’s pretty sure the professor knows she sometimes just plays tetris in the lecture so drawing his attention seems like a poor choice.

Violet: ok

She considers sending a second text to clarify that that’s an irritated okay and not a resigned or accepting okay, but figures Arkady is smart enough to pick up on it. Violet taps her pencil so much that the girl next to her leans over to tell her to stop. She does, changing the nervous tic to another one— the end of her pencil is entirely chewed up by the end of the lesson.

She’s about to bolt when Brian seems to materialize behind her. “Hey, Sana wanted me to ask you— and Arkady of course— if you would wanna see a movie on saturday? Not sure what we’re going to see, but me and Krejjh are in already.”

“Uh, yeah I’ll— sorry this saturday? I think I have a, like, presentation thing?” No, that’s friday. Violet shakes her head like that’ll help her clear it. “Wait. No I’m good saturday. I’ll ask.”

Brian squints at her for a second. “Violet, are you good?”

“Yeah! Yeah I’m fine. Arkady just sent me this stupid cryptic text message and I’m a little preoccupied with it. But I’m fine.” Violet puts on a sort of strained smile. Brian raises an eyebrow, and Violet takes a deep breath. “She basically just said ‘when you get home don’t get mad’ which, I’m overthinking I know, but who says that?”

Brian laughs. “Yeah. sounds like her. If it makes you feel better, I think it’s probably pretty minor. I think if it was something really serious she would have just told you.”

“Arkady serious or Violet serious?”

“Probably Arkady serious.” Brian tries to look sympathetic, but it sort of falls short when he’s still smiling.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Violet sighs, and stuff her notebook back into her bag. “Okay. I’m gonna head home and deal with whatever this is. I’ll let you know about saturday.”

“Good luck!” says Brian, and then Violet is out the door. The drive to her apartment building is spent trying to drown out worrisome thoughts by blasting music as loud as she can. It doesn’t not work very well.

She’s in the building when she texts Arkady again.

Violet: I’m in the elevator so whatever thing u did u gotta have an explanation for it in two minutes

Arkady leaves her on read, which sort of standard when Arkady doesn’t have anything to say. She’s notorious for doing that, and for not replying for hours and hours, so Violet’s prepared and doesn’t think much of it. It’s an exaggeration, anyway; Arkady’s always replied very quickly to Violet when she’s had something to say.

When Violet reaches their room, she halts, hand on the doorknob, and silently hopes that whatever this is, it’s a fixable problem, before pushing open the door and heading inside.

Arkady is on the couch with her laptop open, and when Violet comes in she snaps her head up from the screen.

“Close the door or you’ll let them out.”

On the couch— and two on Arkady— are a bunch of impossibly small kittens. Violet closes the door behind her and makes a gesture vaguely at the couch, eyes wide. Arkady could not look less put out by this, even though they have a large amount of animals in their definitely no pets allowed apartment building.

“So. I may have accidentally adopted five cats.”

“Accidentally?” Violet’s voice cracks from nerves and it’s definitely a little louder than normal.

“Keep your voice down!”

“Accidentally?” hisses Violet again, this time in a whisper. The walls in this building are too thin to be talking about things that could get them evicted at a normal volume. “How do you accidentally take home five kittens? How is that an accident!”

“I didn’t set out to get them. I didn’t go to a pet store or anything.” Arkady picks up one just as it tries to crawl across her laptop, scratching it behind the ears as she puts it down on the couch beside her.

“We’re not allowed to have them in the apartment.” Violet takes off her parka and her boots, pointedly not looking at Arkady or the cats. No attachments.

“Violet, they were outside in a box. We’re getting into negative degrees out there, it’s not like I could leave them.” As if to emphasize Arkady’s point, one of the kittens lets out the tiniest meow Violet has ever heard before laying down and curling up into a ball. Violet groans and puts her head in her hands.

“We could get evicted, Arkady.”

Arkady closes her laptop lid and puts to to the side, letting one of the kittens crawl up into her lap. “They’re pretty quiet actually. I don’t think we’d get caught.”

“What about when I’m at school and you’re at work? Are we just gonna let five cats run around our apartment?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” says Arkady, and Violet grits her teeth.

“Arkady!”

“I know.” She continues to sound not even slightly sorry, which is super not helping Violet’s rising anxiety. Instead, she holds up the cat on her lap— it’s all brown, except for one spot on its nose and the end of its tail. “Look how cute it is though.”

The cat looks at Violet with wide eyes and opens its mouth like it’s going to meow, but only manages a squeak. She swears it’s pleading with her, and it’s all too easy to imagine that same tiny face looking up from a cardboard box.

Damnit. Damnit damnit damnit.

“That’s not fair,” sputters Violet, trying desperately to not look at how cute it is. “That’s manipulation.”

“Yep,” agrees Arkady cheerfully. When Violet glares, she sighs, and drops the smile. “I’m not saying we keep them forever. We can start looking for homes for them. But I don’t wanna put them back outside.”

Violet is silent for a very very long moment, but it’s pretty obvious to both of them what she’s decided long before she says anything.

“Fine.”

Arkady’s face lights back up, and though Violet’s nerves aren’t totally settled, she can’t help but smile too.

“Great! This one is called Diana, and the one with the white paws is Rocket, and—”

“Did you name them all already?”

“No.” Arkady scoops up the kitten to her left with one white ear, drawing a very small meow of protest before it settles into her arms again, and heads over to Violet. “Left this one in case you wanted to name one.”

“Oh. Uh.” Violet desperately tries to find something good to name a cat, which seems like an awful lot of responsibility to thrust on her with no warning like that, and blurts out the first thing to come to mind. “Uh. Uhm. Curiosity?”

Arkady stifles a laugh. “As in ‘curiosity killed the cat’?”

“Oh. Shit. Okay I can come up with something better—”

“No, no—” Arkady does laugh this time, shifting how she’s holding Curiosity so she can put a hand on Violet’s arm. “I like it.”

The sincerity almost takes Violet off guard. Arkady’s expression is open and genuine and her hand is warm against Violet’s skin and Violet is silent just a little too long.

“Uh. Thanks.” The moment is over. Arkady drops her hand like Violet’s scalded her, and Violet takes a tiny step back when she notices how close they were standing. “Jeeter wanted me to ask if we want to go see a movie on saturday,” she blurts out, trying to distract from the sudden odd tension.

“What movie?”

“I dunno. You’d have to ask Sana.” Curiosity meows in Arkady’s arms, and Violet switches her gaze to the cat, reaching over to pet it. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

“You’re welcome.” Arkady grins, way too proud and a little mischievous. And while Violet’s eviction worries have not been totally quelled, and not that she’d actually say so out loud, but it might be worth the risk when Arkady smiles like that.

#tscosi #starship iris #also am i projecting my anxiety onto violet? sure am and theres nothing u can do abt it #also FINALLY i have written starship iris content #only took like. literally over a year #jkdhjghjg and i call myself a stan.... anyway #no proofreading. again. im late for class rn #answered #mine #lesbianarkady

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