#because he obviously isnt as detached and or as smart as he tries to be | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pretty-sweet-plums · 4 years

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allow me to ramble for a moment. im sure everyone's talking about it already but i wanna say my own piece.

In regards to my Eremika post where I sorta tried to talk about why Eren would possibly say he hated bby Mikasa...

BOOM BITCH

I could actually be partly right

Okay so I said it could be that Eren felt betrayed--but also apparently my son is just brokenhearted.

Hot damn. My son raged and allowed himself to drink away the heartbreak for one night before he let that bit about having feelings go.

Anyway so here's the tea. We're now all obviously and painfully aware that Eren was pretending the entire time. We need to be constantlt reminded that Eren admitted he cared about them very much, vocalizing that he did not intend to leave the Founding and Attack Titan to any of them because he wants them to live long full lives that he planned to give them.

Eren took this mission upon himself, to deceive everyone else because there simply is no other way but to do it alone. Not if he wants the closest people to him to survive. That's why he had them imprisoned. He didnt want them in the way. He wanted to protect them. And if he could hurt the two most most important people to him, then they would believe the lie. (Sadly for Eren, he's not as smart or lucky as he hopes to be because they practically see through it anyway)

But the thing is, Eren's learned the lesson the hard way. If he let someone else in on it, or trusted that his friends and allies are there for him no matter what, he would be responsible for losing them or them getting hurt. It has happened over and over again. It started with the chapters aptly named The Easy Way and Choices & Consequences back at the Female Titan arc. It happened again when Reiner and Bertholdt got ahold of him.

Look at what happened then.

Levi's entire squad was eliminated. The Survey Corps was practically decimated trying to rescue him. Mikasa got her ribs crushed. Commander Erwin lost his arm.

He isnt eager for that to happen again. Eren is wholly committed to freeing Eldians, because their freedom had been stolen from them even if it was unknowingly. He knows he won't probably survive this. But he is ready to take the gamble for the sake of all their futures. He was ready to take on the world's rage if it meant the future he saw.

He wasn't making the same mistake again. Levi's words have taken hold firmly in Eren's heart and mind.

He would rather he hurt them all, emotionally at least, and detach himself from them, rather than lose them altogether.

He couldn't save Sasha. He laughed when she died. But. Remember the last time Eren laughed that derisively? When the Titan version of Dina ate Hannes. He wasn't laughing just for the lols. He couldnt do anything and he was at loss at how to react. All these powers and he cant seem to save the people that mattered. (He even just gained the Warhammer Titan too. Which was like the toughest armor you could get.)

For all the knowledge he has of the future that awaits them all, he still cannot control everything. So like any sane person who knows how to love someone, he tries his best to control what he actually can. (i.e, imprisoning them, making people think he's under Zeke's control, killing innocents, making Mikasa think he hates her, you know that whole bit.)

He can't allow himself to hesitate or doubt his plans anymore.

Except apparently this one time.

Im taking us back to Eren asking Mikasa what he is to her.

(sidenote: this was your chance Mikasa. I get that you dont want to be rejected and you're saving your feelings because you've been so used to Eren being so dense and not seeing you as a lover but as family but maaaaan you shoulda told him. but now its too late.) (And now she feels like she could have stopped him. But she couldnt. Even if she did. He had his mind made up. Have you seen Eren change his stubborn mind about anything yet?) (Im just saying she could have confessed so at least it was out in the open already.)

Im sure that Eren wanted to hear those words from Mikasa but Im also sure he wished she had said otherwise. This was the one moment Eren allowed himself to want the love Mikasa had been nursing for him all these years. That sombre look during his and Zeke's trip to the past, its because he missed her dearly. He wished he could tell her he lied. He wished he could talk to her one more time. Make do with his promise to wrap that scarf around her, over and over and over again. He finally understood her love and wanted more than anything to reciprocate. But he can't. Not now. He only had a few years left. Could only protect her and her future with this one last shot. And he couldnt let her get in trouble in the process.

Look at the sorrow in these eyes. Look at the blushing, shy woman who feels vulnerable and exposed. Look at those eyes. The truth reflected in them.

"Perfect timing," he had said, when the man comes to them bearing gifts. He knows the others are close by too.

Perfect timing because this saves him from having to explain why he asked. Saves him from himself blurting out he loved her too. Saves him from the need to tell her his plans. So that no one can stop him. Not her. And most importantly, himself.

One last dinner. One last hurrah with the rest of the family they both, as orphans, have made. Because love, in the end, was about the bonds they created with Armin and the other 104th. Their love is a bond with these other child-soldiers who carry the burden and weight lives of their small world--the world they were born into. Their love for each other that would have made them a real family.

If only he had 'more time'.

(I know that last bit turned into a romantic prose but i did say let me ramble. Anyway, it seems like we'll always have angst is the motto we shall carry for Eremika. At least they got to share that ice cream. That counts for indirect kiss, people! You'd count it too if your crush shared your food!!!)

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sexy-cheese · 7 years

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Rick and Morty Season 3 Episode 6

episode breakdown....and by breakdown I mean me....im breaking down...into sobs and endless sadness and bitter impatient tears....its me. im broken down Stage 1: we see a combination of enlightened rick (er) and toxic rick (tr) trying to get through the trauma of whatever it is they have just survived. Tr would most likely start rampaging, cursing, breaking shit, and trying to kill off anyone around him in a homicidal blur until he calmed down, however er is probably in there wondering why they even did the stupid thing in the first place. Its not their place to meddle. They are an all powerful super being with highly superior intelligence, so why do they feel this horror and trauma for such a worthless gain? Together they neutralize into a 'drink until the pain is gone mentality' henceforth leading to our rick's alcoholism and ideology of the just 'dont think about it' mindset this is the rick we know. The push everything aside, drink, and dont think Stage 2: Tr separates. If you notice, the very first thing he screams when he wakes up is "morty", because naturally it is the first thing on his mind. He frantically searches for him and then calls him a worthless piece of shit, continuously bringing up how stupid and useless he is. This comes from his severe fear of detachment from morty if he were ever to become overly confident and decide he doesnt need his grandpas cool adventures or life style anymore. If a morty gets too confident, he leaves his rick and becomes a sociopath. Normal rick can relatively keep the urge to bring morty's confidence down under control, but tr impulsively spews it out, so damn afriad that morty will wake up and realize he doesnt need him at any moment. He constantly has to cry out and tell him that they need each other, in his own toxic way. Calling him 'a piece of shit' is basically begging him 'dont leave me' he has to make him think he needs him. got it? lets move to the next step of stage 2 tr constantly says things like "im a god" "im above this" "everyone around me is garbage" "you think normal people can do this?" so obliviously this is his narcissism and entitlement, but digging deeper it is also his sense of inner insecurity. now, you may say 'WHAAAT RENATA HOW CAN DAT BEEE?" well lemme splain. basically rick knows how smart he is, he knows how powerful he is, and he knows all the stuff he could do with this power and intelligence....but that's the thing, he really doesnt know all the stuff he could be doing, because he doesnt do it. running around in the toxic can, you can see him panicking, frantically working and running to make stuff and do things. He knows how great he is, but he has no idea how to use it or what he should be doing with it. Think about it, when someone tells you "ayy, your the smartest being in the multiverse and could probably cure the world of every sickness"....wouldn't YOU be a little overwhelmed? He has so much to live up to (an impossible amount) that he hides behind the idea that he doesn't care about any of it. He cant use his power to save the universe, so instead he claims he doesnt care about it. but deep down he feels bad, because he feels like everyone expects him to do something, when in reality theres way too much to do so, to sum up, Toxic Rick is made up of multiple other different things than just narcissism and selfishness and rage...just like toxic morty, he is also his burning insecurity in the fact that hes just a normal man, who happens to be the only person who could ever hope to save the universe....and yet he has no idea how to do it Stage 3: meet enlightened rick. You're thinking, "oh, so THIS is the side of rick that actually COULD save the universe if he wanted because he IS confident enough in his abilities, right?" well the answer is no. this rick doesnt have a flipping clue either. how would he? there is no possible way to save every single multiverse, but unlike tr, instead of letting it consume him in misdirected guilt and insecurity, he instead has (healthily) let it go. Hence the name, he is now 'enlightened' from the worlds problems because he has thoroughly let go of his human need to be the hero and instead surpassed it all in the 'i need not meddle' mentality. BUT. you might ask, "well renaaaatttaaa then why isnt this rick super healthy? why isnt he perfect? why does he seem so interested in getting his other half back?" welll my little reader I have some thoughts. Thought 1) er has no humanity, attachment, purpose, selfworth, or cosmic opinion in himself, the human race, or the universe. why? because he has officially decided that its all pointless anyway and most importantly (big dividing factor here) he is OK WITH THAT. he has accepted the fact that he has surpassed human attachment because he has accessed infinite realities and multiverses to the point where nothing he thought had meaning does anymore. To become fully enlightened, he has let go all of his family, emotions, and self doubts because frankly, he just doesnt give a damn. But in a healthy way? Hes just let it all go, unlike tr who insists he 'doesnt give a fuck' when in fact, he does give millions and trillions of fucks and it eats him alive with each passing day. thoughts 2) so why does er work to get the phone to connect and work at getting his other half back? well he says it right there in the episode when he and confident morty are sitting in the parking lot at school. He says "im accountable to my toxins, right?" he wants to rejoin because he knows that tr has all his intelligence, all his power, and all his guilt wrapped up into a big toxic package. What does this mean? Hes FUCKING DANGEROUS. thats what it means. er is so enlightened, that he knows letting tr do his worst will mean the end of the world. now, for a little while in the episode, he tries to reason with himself and say that he shouldnt meddle in this either, because why is tr any better or worse than he is? but eventually he realizes the truth that tr left unchecked, is bad news for everyone and not worth lying idly back to watch the universe(s) burn. Because yeah...they would all burn Stage 4: now lets watch these two adorable little super humans interact. tr sums it up perfectly when he says "this is the part of your pussy grandpa that keeps it real".....yup. Thats pretty much the whole concept. If youve been paying attention, youve probably already figured out that er isnt exactly as healthy as he thinks he is. The truh of the matter is just sitting back with your thub up your ass like "oh theres no hope in solving ALL the probems, so let me just not interfere at all" is a pretty effed up way to think. Without tr, he probably wouldnt do anything but stay at home with his family and like, build toys electric toys for kids or something. He wouldnt DO anything extraordinary for fear of messing up the fragile stuff of the universe. Tr reminds him what a waste it would be to live a normal life and ignore their vast power. however, tr doesnt know how to use it either, so hence, the fighting breaks out. basically, they just have no idea how to use there god-like intelligence, and it gets ugly for both. even er says 'that stuff is a part of us and we need to put it back.' he knows that in sense he needs it, otherwise his power will be wasted buuuttt.......tr doesnt feel the same way. tr believes that without er, he could possibly become a real man. a real human. a real person who maybe actually cared about things and didnt feel so 'above' everything and so detatched. like a god among people who couldnt really connect with anyone. he doesnt want to go back to that lonely life of being the only one in his realm. this is why he keeps trying to destroy him while er just wants to recombine. Honestly, er is in the right here, (obviously) because he can see the big picture of how they need each other. Also, fun snidbit, tr is clearly the fighter of the two....clearly....and the sexy maker too apparently.....hehe....good to know good to know.....ahem.....anywaaayyyyy but.....looky here.... here I bring you.... Stage 5:tr doesnt give a shit. he doesnt give a fuck, he doesnt give a....oh,....Beth's here?..... he....leaves. immediately. so, here is where we see tr's true weakness, and what er truly hates about himself. He can't even bring himself to be around Beth or put her in any sort of harms way, so he leaves the very second she walks in the door. what does this mean? it is tr, er, and our rick's one true weakness. Truth is, he really cant be fully enlightened and reach his maximum potential, because of his human attachment to his family. Tr probably feels so guilty about leaving Beth (even though it was probably his idea because he was terrified of hurting her) that he cant even stand to look at her. he leaves immediately even though he was technically winning. plain as day, he admits his own true weakness, he just cares too much about his family to ever become truly godlike and reach his full enlightened potential. tr is human, er is the god. but er can see enough of himself to acknowledge that he needs his human self to be a fully functional human being. to truly be...rick. Stage 6 (almost done) and here it is....the moment er truly finally actually comes to terms with the fact that his 'version' of 'health' was actually just what he thought was his true potential. But alas, because the machine choses your version of health based on what YOU think is healthy, this is the issue he realizes. he didnt become healthy, he became his full potential, minus the pain and limits of human emotion. but the truth is, a full, enlightened, god-like potential is kinda useless without compassion and empathy...isnt it? I mean, if you have the power to save, but you just dont care....then whats the point? He realizes that essentially a god that does nothing is no god at all, and even if tr is a toxic, guilty, confused, miserable man too overwhelmed by his own potential to actually fufill it, he will accomplish more than er ever will just because of that energetic will to survive and just flipping DO SOMETHING. he literally realizes in this one moment that he would probably never accomplish anything like this, not without that crazy, overwhelming, miserably human passion that tr harbors in his soul for his shitty life and shitty decisions. and this is when he knows that they have to reunite, just for the sake of not wasting his life. Stage 7: (my personal favorite) ah yes.....the climax of the story. where it all becomes clear. something I havent touched on yet (which i bet you thought i forgot about....you lil scamp) is why tr is trying to make the whole world toxic. Why? simple. he has mistaken his toxic qualities for his humaness. (which in a way is true, but he also got a bunch of bad shit that er probably spends most of his energy keeping on the down low) and so in tr's mind, he isn't 'toxifying' the world, he releasing people's true emotions and true selves. he releasing the raw humanness inside them so they dont have to deal with their superegos always judging them and telling them how to live. he is the id, in a way, freeing all the other id's from their superegos so the world can be a genuine, purely human world. However, obviously, without superego the people are monsters, hence the carnage of the toxified people. to him, this is his way of saving the human world by bringing out their true human nature. unfortunately true human nature is primal and disgusting, but shh.....dont tell him that.....poor innocent bean....look how proud he is.... so proud..... ahem....anyway back to the climax. so now er shows up again and starts talking, lets analyyyyze. first off, er has learned something very important.....its tr's one weakness that he displayed when best walked in, hes afraid of losing/hurting his family. So of course, he targets toxic morty. and er knows this because he doesnt care about morty WHY WOULD HE? there are millions and trillions of mortys. it is beneath his highly superior brain to care, but tr sees the little picture, and in the moment, he needs morty to support him. He needs to latch onto him. he needs the human comfort. he doesnt want to admit that, but he needs it more than anything else in his life. in fact, he needs it so much, he doesnt even think er has the balls to do it, because he thinks he needs it too....but thats just it....he doesnt. and he knows he doesnt need that human connection, which is why he knows he needs his other half back to need it for him and here we have the moment that literally made tears come..... "irrational attachments"......that line just really hurt me bro.....it hurt me good.....it got me right in the soul....yikes. too real. *sniffle* anyway, back to er's rant. he basically sums it up by saying "you are literally incapable of seeing the bigger picture" hence tr's irrational love and dependency for his family, even though er and tr both know there are infinite sanchez families with infinite different fates that they have no way in saving or interfering in any way, tr still for some reason feels emotion towards a morty that really isnt even THE REAL morty. but think about this....its the most insecure morty, right? the one that is the most insecure, helpless morty of them all....its the one that needs him the most. the one that is least likely to ever leave him....*more sniffles* so of course he cares about him. I mean....we've seen what morty is like without him.... i think rick put it best when he called him 'a tiny american psycho'.....which I mean, he would be, right? hes related to rick afterall. with just enough jerry to keep him insecure. at least jerry was good for one thing. and soooo....thats the wayyyyy the news goes. At the very end we see a reunited rick. he even says 'master of both worlds'...meaning he is once again human and god. id and superego, making one highly functioning ego. the rick we know and love. a beautiful mess. so the meaning my friends.....you really shouldnt hate the bad pats of yourself, because at the end of the day, its kind of what makes you....human. wow....this got really freaking long, and I didnt even get into my whole theory about our morty being evil eyepatch morty. (remember in evil eyepatch morty episode where rick says "a confident morty is bad news, ill tell you when youre older".....well I think we know what that means now) yikes....and i thought rick was a handful when he was cocky. so there you have it. Our bread and butter, our saint and sinner, our sexy grandpa and teenage rocker.....our super genius space alcoholic. our rick sanchez. a beautiful chaotic mess. wubba lubba dub dub bitches.

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