#because its ''bad for their mental health'' or the situation makes them ''sad''. am i making sense

[ouroboobos]

A lot of of (primarily white) grown adults hide their complacency and complicitness behind the schtick of "I'm sorrrryyyyy its just because I'm so anxious and smol wahhh I'm so pathetic I'm such a pushover I'm so dumb" to try and keep you from holding them accountable but it's time to stop coddling them and just be like yeah you are pathetic and stupid.

#♥︎ #like? #i keep seeing posts about various issues that are worded like #'its ok if you dont have the energy to give a shit abt marginalized ppl!! take care of urself first you cant pour from an empty pot 💛' #and 99.9% of the time its a post written by a white person about other white people #like giving permission to not give a fuck or do anything abt whatever is being discussed #its so nasty and also just fucking weird? why do we think we're in a position to do that #also its always like ''you cant take care of other people if u dont take care of yourself first 🥺'' #as if the type of people internalizing those messages would ever use even one ounce of their resources or energy for the cause lmfao #you know what i mean? does this make sense? #its always the type of person who could have all the money in the world and limitless time and energy and still wouldnt do anything #because its ''bad for their mental health'' or the situation makes them ''sad''. am i making sense #practically everyone who behaves this way has every opportunity to educate themselves but they will refuse #because theyre simultaneously spineless and cruel #this is primarily abt palestine but its also about everything

[alchemicaladarna]

Well...Happy 1 year of QSMP I guess...

There's just no easy way to say anything about everything that's been happening the past few weeks and everything that's happened since yesterday because it's a fucking dumpster fire and I'm just so tired of it all to be honest...

But this post isn't about that.

I still want to celebrate this server's first year anniversary because of how much it means to me personally. I made a post talking about how I initially started watching the qsmp (two days early 💀) but I'll reiterate what I've always said:

That despite all the problems of the server, despite all the damage that has been done, never forget what it has managed to achieve and hopefully continues to achieve in the future, under better conditions.

The QSMP's mission was to unite people from all over the world to play together and be friends despite speaking different languages and having different cultures. It united communities and formed friendships across the globe. Personally, achieving that takes more than just sticking random people in the same room together because it's about making genuine connections that could last a lifetime. And the qsmp achieved that. I'll never stop saying this because despite all its glaring problems, the qsmp is revolutionary for all the good it has managed to do.

Ok, like think about the translations alone. I'm using Bad as an example because he's the only one so far that I've seen do this but, BBH has set up live translations of multiple languages on his screen so non-english speakers can still understand his streams and his vods even if he's not playing on the qsmp. That wouldn't have happened without the QSMP's influence. That's fucking incredible!

Think about all the CC's and admins that became friends after meeting on the server. Former admins like Lumi (Pomme) and Shade (Dapper) still talking to Bad on his chat and watching his stream. That's still really awesome! Not to mention all the amazing collaboration projects with many qsmp members outside minecraft like Ordem Paranormal and Liar Liar, to name a few.

Look, the last three weeks have been extremely difficult on everyone. I myself am tired of the situation and scrolling through the tag, especially after yesterday, just makes me sad tbh. For the first time since these weeks, I felt so despondent and shocked about everything. It got to the point where, after Shade and Lumi announced their departure, I called my mom and broke down sobbing and vented about the whole admin situation. And bless her heart, my mom actually listened and I'm going to share the advice she gave me:

"Let them fix the problem. Let the company do the restructuring they need to do because right now, it sounds like they have a lot of problems to fix. It's going to take a long time before things can go back to any sense of normalcy, so while they do that, focus on yourself for now. If you're so invested in all the problems of this online world, maybe it's time to step back for now. Maybe it's time to focus on the real world."

And well, she's right. I've been so upset about the situation that my mental health wasn't faring well because of it. Yesterday was kind of a wake up call for me I guess?

I've been in this fandom for 10 months now. It's the longest time I've been invested in a community and qsmp has and will always have a special place in my heart. But I think it's time to let go and move on for now. I'll keep my hopes up and hope that the future is bright, and the qsmp will continue because it has so much potential to achieve more greatness, but I'll leave the project to rest and focus on other endeavors for now.

I'll be posting art and checking in on stuff from time to time, and of course, I'll be watching BBH, but it might be time to depart and say, "Thanks for everything, and I'll see you later."

Most people will be ashamed to mention the fandoms they've been a part of when they were younger, but 10 years from now, if anyone ever asks if I was a part of the qsmp fandom, I'll gladly say yes and tell all the good stories I have about it.

I love the community we made here on qsmpblr, and if I trust the QSMP's mission of uniting people, then I trust that, no matter what happens, this community will be here when I return.

Because...Despite everything, it's all about love, right? And no matter what happens, the love is still there, and will always be.

Thank you for the journey <33

#qsmp #no matter what happens itll be ok #we'll all be ok i promise #sorry for the long post but i wanted to post my thoughts #i have hope for a new and bright future #like pomme said: its not an ending but rather the beginning of a new chapter #so thank you everyone for making the qsmp the most wonderful experience anyone can have #i'll probs be here to reminisce about certain moments and memories that i truly cherish #even tho we all went thru a fucking avalanche i still want to celebrate today at least #above all pls continue making fanart animations fics theories and analyses etc #and pls continue giving love and support to the admins<333

[protect-daniel-james]

WIP asks: what is your oldest? What is the one you will probably never finish?

Omg, do unfinished chaptered fics count?

AO3 tells me the oldest non-finished chaptered fic is Silent Freeway, an Alex Turner/Miles Kane fic from ancient times. I am kinda ashamed of it now, because ultimately it was too much for me to write about - I chose the light topics of mental health and psychosis with my poor English skills, and obviously it was a pain in the ass to write in the end. I wasn't brave enough to go back and read it but I can imagine the shit I wrote back in 2016 in English. It was too much drama for the sake of drama, no characterisation, no reasonable behavior... I will definitely never finish that one. I'm not that much into Milex, and the whole story seems childish today.

Fun fact - it has over 11 000 words making up 11 chapters. Yes, 11 chapters. Which means about 1 000 words per chapter (I was so proud of it back then, lmao). Good old days. Nowaydays I write a 11 000 word fic about Inzaghi brothers fucking.

WIP which I might actually finish one day is definitely Let's fade together, let's fade forever. No football. Historical Figures RPF combining two of my favorite fruity couples from late 18th century, Alex Hamilton/John Laurens and Frederick II/Hans Hermann von Katte. As the tag says, I imagine Heaven as a waiting room. A waiting room where Laurens and von Katte meet and talk and wait for their loved ones. I think it was a nice lil' idea, a fic that became known as "sad gays in heaven". Yeah, it is still rather naive and silly looking back, but I am still quite proud of that one. It's literally missing one chapter.

My problem is I get too excited about a new thing, and I am able to produce quite quickly a new fic when I am excited. A planned out multichaptered fic even. But then, the excitement fades - either because I find a more interesting new thing, or because the response is non-existent, and I see that something I was excited about and cared about isn't really interesting "to the outside". Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one to count kudos and comments because I know that the ships and themes I write about are very niche (I am well aware that if I write a Pedri/Gavi fic, it would get to 200-300 kudos, if I write a Grizione fic, it would be around 50, but if I write about Unai Emery, there will be like 5) - but even with this awareness, if a fic I truly was excited about doesn't really get a response, I just don't feel motivated to prioritise it, work on the next chapter, or write something about the pairing again (unless it's Unai and Football, because those fics I take as a form of experience, exploration, and almost academic work so I don't care if y'all aren't reading those; they are for me to explore the unexplored. although it's nice when people read and comment on them, and want to discuss its topics, obviously).

When it comes to unpublished WIPs, I don't really have many of those because I tend to start my WIPs when excited and then I usually work quickly (unless it's literally a 10 000+ words fic like the yacht fic or like the Inzaghicest one might be). One that I promised to do was a Henderson/Stevie G in Saudi Arabia engaging in bad, sleazy, desperate sex because they have no clue what they are doing there, but I haven't really started to work on that.

I started working on a Mourinho/Abramovich fic (with a flavour of Abramovich/Sheva).

"Mr. Abramovich - " José made a significant pause, spread out his hands over the edge of the desk that separated him from the addressed man. "I know you like him. Is easy to see." For a moment not a single muscle in Abramovich's face moved. Then, his eyebrows rose up, and he tilted his head, smiling; not just smiling but amused at such a simple yet daring statement. "Is it?" he asked, although José wasn't completely sure about the wording. It might have been just a simple, bemused repetition of the word he himself used to describe his reading of the situation - easy.

I think it's now the oldest actual draft that I have, but it's only 2 months old lmao. As I said, I finish my fics pretty quickly (after all, I usually write directly in AO3 - believe me, I did regret it a few times), and the one month due date on drafts works miracles.

#thank you! #myfics

[houseofbrat]

Terrible all around, for so many reasons. As a comms person I could do a series of Tedtalks about this.

Nevertheless I really pray for Kate’s recovery both physically and mentally.

Yes, its all very sad but could have been prevented with proper management. The Palace Comms Team needs an overhaul.

Exactly. This seems to contradict Kate’s message that she wanted to wait until they told their kids and now they say it’s because of a potential leak? Which is it then and why would they now blame a potential leak? Who does it benefit by changing the story now and why did they even bother to? It’s so bizarre.

I think it’s a bit naive to blame this on KP’s team. The team is only as good as their bosses and William is pretty inept at handling press

This to me has nothing to do with a leak and everything to do with Easter. They knew she wasn’t going to be present for Easter so they had to make an announcement and get out in front of it early.

This was my first thought as I watched Kate’s video. If not for the leak, they still would be silent.

The idea the rota is pushing is it’s all the public’s fault for wildly speculating, and it’s not sitting well with me. It was mostly jokes about Kate being at the Willy Wonka experience or that she was getting a BBL. Then they released the fake photo and AP flagged it.

The papers got pissed because there WAS a story and the Palace wasn’t feeding them, so they turned up the heat. Nobody was talking about Rose Hanbury until The Independent (I think that was the paper) ran that story “Who is Rose Hanbury?” and repeated the old rumors of the affair. And some other online news site ran a story asking what would happen if William committed a crime. And then you had Piers Morgan saying he has heard wild rumors and if even half of them were true, he was concerned.

Yes, there are nasty people out there who gossiped but the media help set this situation on fire. And KP completely bungled the PR response. But they need to spare us the “shame on you all” narrative.

Wishing Kate the best and I hope the people who accessed her medical info are held responsible.

It's the fake photo and AP killing it that set this whole thing into the stratosphere. Before that all noise was limited to a small corner of the internet. No fake photo and ninety-eight percent of mess that happened never would have happened. KP is responsible for the mess and no amount of scolding from the rota will change that.

Sometimes I wonder what their long-term plan was for this? Obviously Kate having cancer would mean she’d need more time away than what they previously let on, so if the conspiracies never took off and they weren’t under a ton of scrutiny, I wonder how/when they would have told the public about her diagnosis, if at all.

Considering how they’ve handled more minor health issues, like William having COVID, I just assume KP never wanted to be transparent in the first place and were forced. Which sucks for Kate but has bad implications for a publicly funded institution IMO.

I don’t think there was ever a longterm plan here. I think everyone was taking it one step at a time and trying to process and figure out what the next step would be.

I’m honestly surprised because I am sure Rebecca English said they didn’t have their hand forced. Plus there were two days between Wed and Friday and any leaks could have occurred then as well. I do think it was getting to the stage it was an open secret witch certain circles.

I don’t understand why this and the “were angry about speculation” stories have been leaked - if they’ve been leaked by W&K and not somebody else. Not going after the alternative theories with this comment rn.

Like, they do want this to die down, right? I’m assuming so, because Kate is sick. I’ve never really cared about her actual illness in this whole debacle, but cancer or not, in her shoes I’d want the least amount of speculation possible. And the “we’re angry about speculation post” before the reveal was not the way to do that. All that was going to do was increase the speculation because if there’s one thing the internet likes doing more than anything else, it’s doing behavior they’ve been told not to.

Now it’s been revealed that Kate has cancer and I think the whole slew of “you’re bad for speculating no matter what the speculation was, even if it wasn’t health-related” posts were bad because they encouraged talk about her even as they were saying people shouldn’t talk about her, but that wasn’t in W&K’s hands so I’m not gonna blame them for that. Either way, the gossip around her did die eventually.

But now they’re bringing it back up of their own accord, if this is them? Why? It was already said that people tried to access her info. If this inside source was BP, revealing this is just bad for the overall family image. It proves Harry was right once again. If it wasn’t, I guess I understand wanting to talk about the source, but it’s still giving attention that I don’t think would be wanted or needed right now.

This is what has fascinated me about the KP PR ever since this entire thing started. It just seems like completely weird decisions over and over and over again.

100% this is a situation of their own making. They literally exist to be seen- what did they think was going to happen if one of them just disappeared? They’re so angry at how everyone reacted but maybe they should take some time to self reflect and see how their own actions and life created this whole mess.

Because the PR/comms team is incompetent and their employers are stubborn with gigantic hubris.

The virtue signaling “everyone participating in the gossip and making jokes and sharing memes should be ashamed!” will never sit well with me. We’ve been shown time and again for decades at this point that their PR is very sloppy.

they're really trying to guilt trip the public for not knowing she had cancer after faking a photo documentation as an official government institution, aren't they?

look, if someone tried to access her.files that's criminal and should be prosecuted whatever. that's another issue. 

but the BRF cannot use fear of public speculation as a tool to divert us from the fact that they faked an image and tried to pass it off as real. this is incredibly problematic on many levels. not only we cannot trust them to pass on truthful info about themselves (which, with their history of throwing women to the wolves, is icky), but as british official representatives, they should be held to all possible standards.

on a personal level, i hope she recovers, her treatment isn't too terrible as in side effects and her kids are able to grow up with her love all around. 

but as someone with basic standards for media and government, and also a citizen of a democracy (in the global south, where we have been victims of rich countries' bullshit explanations), they can all fuck off with this take and blaming.

They even put out a statement around late January where they said she didn’t have cancer. They can’t be surprised that people thought something was up when they weren’t being entirely truthful.

King Charles's team announced he has cancer and just moved on, so did the public. I genuinely don't see why they couldn't have done the same for Catherine. A quick "we did surgery back in December, discovered i might have cancer, will be stepping off the public eye for a few months to seek treatment and spend time with kids" would've done it. Her team is not being asked for her to deal with her emotions in public, the public just wanted to know why she hasn't been seen from or heard from for a long time. They completely bungled this one.

#reddit #british royal family #comparison #critique #kensington palace #palace officials #pr games #strategery #PR fail #fail! #MESS! #kate middleton #Catherine The Princess of Wales #Prince & Princess OWN GOALS #William The Prince of OWN GOALS #William The Weak #William The Terrible #prince william #William The Prince of Wales #my gif

[clownboymcchucklefuck]

A Goodbye To 'Gabriel'

Hello. If you've followed me for quite a while you know about have I have DID and one of my alters name is 'Alter Gabriel' Gabriel was the one that mainly wrote alot of our theories about Colored Gaze and came up with ideas. Now my Gabriel alter only came out when I was on my medication/Adderall because I didn't see myself as the same person as when I was on it so thats when I developed DID. 

The bad thing about is, is that while on my medication I was in a terrible state of mind. Just look up the side effects of Adderall and you can see the bad side effects such as loss of appetite (Which is how I got anorexia for a bit.) And even as severe as psychosis which is what I was getting near having if I hadn't gone off my meds.

I went off my meds a few months ago because I ran out and there was an Adderall shortage (plus my pharmacy slow af) but as bad as I thought this was I slowly started to realize I was in much better mental state than when I was on my medication. Because now I rarely have panic attacks over the tiniest unlike a few months ago and now I see the good side in situations now. I no longer have suicidal thoughts either!

So despite me having an attachment to 'Gabriel I belive its time to let them go for my mental health. I am quitting Adderall for the sake of my mental and physical health and I hope I don't take it again on a regular basis. Maybe a few days but definitely never going on a regular basis again. 

So that is why I wanted to make this post. My host alter will now be fronting for all my posts so if my writing is different from the past/I act differently that is why. I go by a different name while host is fronting but that name will only be told to close mutuals/friends for sake of privacy.

Alter Gabriel loved everyone dearly and it is sad to see them go but I feel as if they were their own person they would agree.

-Host Gabriel ♡

[nevwornxiety]

Am i the only one who is getting the feels watching Jun and Haesung together in these 2 new episodes 🥰

What i like from these episodes are:

I really like how the director finally shows more dynamic between the two.

On my previous post, I mentioned about Jun on how he is not having any emotional baggage and I hope to see more of his character development. It turns out that he has some commitment issues and he feels co - dependent towards the people he's close with (Shim siblings)

Based on the latest episodes, seems like his family dynamic and his parent's relationship makes him less interested in building family life together with someone. Added with the fact that he grew up with Shim siblings together and he knew all their hardships. Who knows maybe he's had his heart broken before?

Meanwhile Haesung still believes in things like happy ending. But she always attracts the wrong guy and based on the previous diss from Jun in previous episodes ( where they met at the restaurant with the lead), Haesung is also attracted with bad boys and the boys who seem to readily give her all the attention she craves.

I like the fact that the youngest brother noticed Jun and Haesung's relationship instead of his and Woojo. Probably he has already thought if both of them kissing and that is why he said "i would not even care if you both kissing"

I wished we could have more interaction between Haesung and his parents. Perhaps in the next episode, she could at least help to repair their relationship?

Seems like when Haesung and the father cleared their throat, probably Haesung will be closer to his father instead of Mom?

Mom might be wary of Haesung especially since she supposedly treats Jun as her precious son. She said about wearing Yellow is not good maybe because she views Haesung as a bright person to Jun (different from Woojo and his family dynamic) and when she said see you again , she expects to see her more. Even though Mom finds out that Jun lied about his relationship with Haesung.

Jun's Mom represents all the viewers feeling who are confused about his feeling for Woojo or Haesung. But it goes to show that he cares for both girls with the intent of having different purpose (one cares as a friend and one cares the other as a girl). Jun explains in the episode to his Mom that he cares for Haesung despite his brashness towards her

I think that when Jun asked her for a drink after their family lunch, is when she knew that Jun needs alone time the most. Since she is an empath, she decides not to accept the call from the security guy because she knows that Jun needs someone to talk to. So she gladly hears his thought.

I feel bad at Haesung, she knows that she used the security guy as the rebound to forget her ex. She remembers Jun's word to about being more transparent with her feeling and emotion. She really tries to make the relationship work despite incompatibility. She starts being honest about her mental health and the prescribed medicine she took.  However since the guy seems immature and does not know much about mental health, he just casually acts as if its nothing. Meanwhile, this scene could be a key point of both Jun and Haesung's relationship. Because shit gets real now when Jun hugs Haesung back and feels her sadness.

His reaction on Ep 10 is different from the one had in the first episode where he accompanied Haesung to the karaoke and sing her heart out. Sure, he feels protective - but at that moment , it just feels like " Again? Crying about guys? Okay then, I will accompany you since your sister is nowhere to be found" . On the other hand, This time I think that this is where Jun is scared and pained when he saw Haesung crying. Because it just feels different, its not just a normal heartbreak. Even Haesung's cried is different. Seems like Haesung never hugs him/ rarely hugs him so if it happens the situation might be serious

So far I think that one who has a feeling first is Jun. Because Haesung seems not realizing her feeling. Sure she cares for him and thinks he is handsome, but its not to the point where she has a deep feeling for him. She cares about him because Jun is always there for her.

#call it love #kdrama 2023 #kdrama #shim hae sung #yoon jun #kim yewon #sung joon #lee sung kyung #kim young kwang #korean drama #call it love kdrama

[klein-babylon]

hey quick(lmao) question how do I actually begin to be happy and not feel miserable for absoutely no reason while for example waiting alone at the bus stop probably because of realising I lost (better off without them but still)almost all people to hang out with like I just let the emotions get me thinking its pathetic how I should be having fun instead of standing there alone. See, how do I get out of this mental state I dont need to be euphoric and happy about small everyday things just, normal, neutral or cynical, how do I achieve being cynical and high spirited at all times and shake off this parasitic dramatising its tiring me out girl

Invest in yourself (food, education, travel, unique experiences, hobbies), learn to forgive, embrace being dramatic (and the drama will fade away), prioritise socialising, make socialising easy by being yourself from the get go, stop taking life so seriously you’re one of 8 billion people, you are just an animal sharing this planet with trillions of other animals and living organisms

I had to embrace being dramatic and had to learn to be able to laugh at myself … omg my advice is so simple and basic but it works haha

I had to do so many things to be a happy person… I had to figure out my childhood trauma which was a lot.. and when I say figure out I mean I had to realise what aspects of my personality were a result of bad things happening to me rather than my true personality traits. And then I removed those personality traits that were a result of bad things such as.. fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, impulsive attention seeking behaviours, emptiness. And I’m left feeling pretty pure and childlike (in the biblical way) and kind..

I had to forgive everybody which was so hard but it will bring you permanent peace! Which is everything

Don’t be alone for too long, but being alone can bring you all sorts of realisations and results. But it can trap you.. ‘it’ being loneliness. It’s not good for us..

I say.. embrace being dramatic.. stop taking things/yourself/other people/opinions/expectatins/situations so seriously.. work out your true core beliefs and personality traits, and remove the rest, go back to your child self… get into religion, your heritage. For me , the secret to my happiness is what doctors and scientists and influencers say: healthy diet, socialising, working, exercising, resting. But in more details.. this is what I did to change myself from default emo to default happy inspired girl

I eat an organic whole food diet and am 90% vegetarian, trying to become vegan eventually, cuz i value my body and how i physically feel. It’s more expensive to eat organic, but there’s no price for your health. You NEEEED to prioritise your health . Refocus your energy from feeling empty and sad and focus it on feeling nourished and beautiful and healthy. And you will feel 100x better than before. I realised that how I physically feel is so connected to how I mentally feel

I pray and meditate every day, I also daydream every day which I reckon is a form of prayer, it’s made my intuition stronger. I cherish my psychic powers which are real lol they’re unlocked right now. Third eye is open. Also yoga classes/meditation classes are everywhere and i really recommend you go to one early in the morning. Meditating for some reason is intimidating to lots of ppl but you just need to focus on your breathing tbh and keep yourself in the present. The present is all you have by the way you should repeat this to yourself whenever you feel sad and empty. And also it’s so annoying and difficult at first but you need to sit with the feeling of sadness and or emptiness.. I used to freak out at it cuz I thought I was crazy for feeling utterly empty so frequently. But in fact it’s a blessing, you’re like a little lamb, the emptiness is pure. All that emptiness you’re feeling is cleaning out your heart and making way for all these new amazing deep feelings..

I also unintentionally exercise every day cuz I choose to not have a car and i have a bike instead. Also I get in water nearly every day which is like a baptism. And movement is like the foundation for mental health literally

You need to create a group of people you can laugh with and be truly yourself with which is easier said than done. But even if it’s one person you’re luckier than millions of ppl

Work doesn’t need to be your passion and it shouldn’t be taken seriously, it’s a way to make money so you can spend it on things that will benefit you

Resting is going to fix u. And I mean real rest not just lying down.. like.. work yourself out, exhaust yourself, spend a few days alone and treat yourself to real relaxation and luxury. Who gives a fuck. Cuz now you have all this time to reflect , plan, moodboard. Scroll Pinterest. Life is so good in those moments where you’re in your bed under a warm blanket and you’re listening to music and scrolling Pinterest. There’s nothing you need to worry about literally except the name of your new Pinterest board.. it feels so good to feel comfortable and secure. Just chase that feeling outside of your day to day and you’ll be fine

Also you need to stop caring that was the one thing that made me never depressed again. As soon as I just stopped caring what people think about me (which is easy if you actually try it) most of the suffering in my life vanished. Maybe it’s cuz a lot of my suffering came from other ppl tho

[etoiile]

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

𝑾𝑹𝑰𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑹𝑼𝑳𝑬𝑺 i am currently taking requests!

✧ as of right now, i will only write for blue lock or haikyuu. ✧ i do not write dark or yandere content. i also do not write incest, gore, or any similar topic. ✧ i do not write fantasy content. (for ex: vampire characters or fairy readers) ✧ i do not write non-realistic au's. (for ex: mafia boss character x reader. something like college student character x reader works well) ✧ i do not write anything nsfw. i will do suggestive or steamy, but i don't write outright smut. ✧ i do not take emergency requests. i'm sorry, but that just scares me and makes me feel really uncomfortable. you may request things that are mental health-related such as anxiety, but i can't write about anything about panic attacks, suicidal characters/reader, self-harm, or any other topic i consider triggering or uncomfortable for me to write. not only am i uneducated on the topics, and therefore unable to properly describe and write about them, but if it's so uncomfortable for me that i can't write it, it is also likely very triggering for my readers. i'm sorry and hope you understand. ✧ i reserve the right to change the reader to gender neutral if i'd like. (they/them) i may or may not do so, but it is up to me. ✧ i only write character x reader. ✧ i do not write platonic ✧ characters i literally cannot (like idk how to) write for: (bllk) any of the side characters that got eliminated quickly, shidou, igarashi, barou, kunigami, isagi, aryu, tokimitsu, karasu, and characters not shown in the show. im so sorry for this, but i literally cannot give you the absolute garbage i write for these characters. i dont understand them well enough to write for them well. im sorry. ✧ i absolutely do not have to write your request if i don't want to. requesting is a privilege. please respect that. ✧ on that note, however, if you don't receive a private reply telling you that i can't/won't write your request, i probably either forgot about it or am taking a long time to write it. if your request fits the criteria, there's a small likelihood i've turned it down. :) (however sometimes i might tell you that i can't write it because it turned out really bad and i'd be doing your request an injustice if i were to put it out into the world :( im sorry if this happens!)

𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖...

✧ are -13 or 30+ ✧ are an entirely nsfw blog (some is ok, but please keep in mind that i am a minor)

𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖...

✧ are racist, sexist, homophobic, etc, yk the drill. essentially, you must treat everyone equally regardless of their social identity! ✧ believe that its funny or quirky or cool to send hate to me or other creators. ✧ are just generally a hateful person. i can take a joke, but don't expect me to just take your insults.

𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆!

✧ i can and will block anyone who fails to meet the criteria or respect my rules. ✧ on that note, if i make you uncomfortable, feel free to block me as well. ✧ if you wish to break a mutual, please hard block me. if you don't, i might mistake it as an accident, and i really dont want to make you uncomfy! ✧ i feel highly uncomfy with trauma dumping. by all means, come to me if you're feeling sad or need a shoulder to lean on, but it scares me when people just pour out their trauma to me. im sorry for the situation you may be going/have gone through, but not only am i uneducated and unqualified to give you proper advice, it's just scary for me. ✧ i know that everything above may look a bit scary and strict, but i'm just trying to make my blog a positive space. please reach out to me if you'd like to be mutuals! i swear i dont bite and im always happy to make new friends :)

𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐈𝐈𝐋𝐄 ©𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 please do not copy or repost my work on any other site. interactions appreciated! 🤍

#ami navis 💄 #blog rules

[alextheavoidant]

I posted this as a reply to someone on YouTube under a video about the 8 Passengers situation. Thought I'd share it here because why not.

I feel like I should put a trigger warning here as this post discusses child abuse, but now that I think of it my whole blog probably needs a trigger warning...

Post:

I was also badly abused growing up and this is something I'm just now starting to come to terms with. My parents were divorced when I was five and my father claims he tried to get custody of my siblings and I, but the truth is he didn't want to be a single father and having three little kids to take care of would have gotten in the way of his drinking and partying lifestyle. I never knew my mothers side of the family because she's pretty much been estranged from them since before I was born. But I remember when my sister died from a drug overdose the whole side of my dads family were suddenly so sad about what we went through growing up and would say things like "We tried to give you some sense of normalcy. We always invited you to Christmas and the holidays." As if they were doing us some kind of favor for letting us come to family gatherings.

The worst part is I didn't have to wonder if they knew. I knew they knew because I remember being very vocal about what was happening to us our entire childhood. But every time I tried to tell someone it seemed like they would either turn away and pretend they didn't hear me or make some kind of joke like "Oh yeah, that's your mother. She's crazy. Ha ha ha." or a dismissive "Well, she's the only mother you're ever gonna have, so you gotta love her." or what I feel is one of the most damaging things you can put in an abused child's mind, "I know it may not seem like it, but she loves you in her own way." No one seemed to be worried back then.

The other worst part is instead of being understanding about the ways the abuse has effected us and maybe trying to help us get our lives together, these same people who turned a blind eye to it now have the audacity to judge us for not being "successful", their definition of success being having a great career, lots of money, nice house, nice car, nice marriage with three perfectly behaved, straight A students. We're supposed to be perfect like all of them pretend to be. Just supposed to magically not be affected by any of the abuse and neglect we suffered growing up so that they can pretend it never happened so they don't have to feel guilty about the fact that they knew we were living in a house with a raging alcoholic without food and clean clothes half the time and they did nothing about it. It wasn't *their* responsibility to protect us. Now that we're adults its *our* responsibility to fix ourselves and stop "playing innocent", blaming the family and making them look bad. The only reason we can't is obviously because we're just too inherently defective. Because of course we are. We're "just like our mother". We have her genes. And the kicker? I'm constantly told to "rise above my raising" while also being told I'm "screwing up" my niece because I can't afford to take her out to eat all the time and shit like that. Literal mind fuck.

And yet, the most bizarre part is, the more progress I make in my recovery, as I have been diagnosed with several mental health issues including a severe anxiety disorder (AvPD), the harder and harder they seem to want to come down on me. Like it's not enough that I've spent years in therapy trying to get my life straight, that I'm raising AND homeschooling my sisters child, whom she abandoned long before she passed away. It's not enough just that I survived that hell and I'm still here and I'm not an addict or in jail or on the street. I'm just not getting better fast enough, and that annoys them. They don't want to hear about my recovery because they don't want to acknowledge how fucked up I actually am, and how much work its taking to even try to achieve some sense of normalcy, let alone have a "successful" life and career, according to their standards. My very existence is a stain on the security blanket of lies they wrap themselves up in so they can sleep at night. And they really don't like that.

#blog #mental health #abuse #child abuse #trauma #survivor #abuse survivor #trigger warning

[ronkerbonkers]

js watched heartstopper s2, dont do it. dont watch it. im in tears rn

(also this is gonna be a rant post so haha)

SPOILERS FOR HEARTSTOPPER S2 AND MENTIONS OF SELF HARM AND EATING DISORDERS!

charlie telling nick that he used to cut himself and then nick asking if he still does it and making charlie promise that if it ever gets that bad again he'd tell nick is honestly not how i wanted the season to end. i am in SHAMBLES that was SO FUCKING SAD IM CRYIFN AND SOBBING. also charlie passing out because he hadnt eaten enough made me actually so sad. i love that nick is always there for charlie and tries to make the situation better but he obviously messes up sometimes because not everyone is perfect. i love that alice oseman actually recognizes that not everything people do is going to make shit better

heartstopper really js makes me sad and happy at the same time because it dives right into like shitty stuff but then shows you nick and charlie kissing and it makes everything better again (almost). i really like how they (alice oseman) actually notice that mental health is a thing too bc a lot of shows and movies and shit dont recognize that people have trouble with problems mentally. i like that alice oseman actually made it so they struggle with mental health and not just making it seem like everything is fine because it isnt. it also has a lot of inclusion from having lgbtq+ cast members and characters to having people who use they/them be in the cast and be characters, and it also realizes that gay bi and lesbian arent the only sexualities to ever exist. it also had issac being confused about his sexuality after he kissed james. i thought that was a nice touch bc not everyone instantly knows their sexuality. it takes time to figure out who youre attracted to, what youre attracted to, or if youre even attracted to anyone. i thought it was nice seeing issac having to figure out his sexuality and being confused about it. james was also really understanding and not pressuring issac to know everything about himself and his sexuality right then and there. i like how he was supportive and didnt immediately push issac to tell him his sexuality. also having the characters families not be absolutely perfect was nice to see (coming from someone who doesnt have the best family ever), because not everyone is lucky enough to have a good family or a good relationship with their family. heartstopper is just really cool man, idk. i love it sm its such a cool show and book series :3

on the other hand though, we got to see more tori which was sick. i love tori sm :D

theres a ton more i wanna say buuuuuut going back thru this i js realized how long it is so im gonna stop now lmao

#screams and cries #nick and charlie #heartstopper #nick nelson #charlie spring #it was so saaaaad #im in shambles #that was cruel dude why did it have to be so sad #cries #also why was b*n there hes such a dick #i love ranting about heartstopper sm

[jdmorganz]

Hey I'm the person that asked about blocking a while ago and I just want to say thanks for your opinion. I ended up blocking the person and ever sense they have been making stuff up saying I continue to write them but I have not bothered them at all. Having to hide who I am is sad but the person ended up playing a woe is me situation to make me look like the bad guy so I'm glad I did end up blocking them. I knew the person was aggressive nut I didn't realize how toxic they were. Thankful for you

I would say don't worry about it. I think I know the person you're talking about and they are known for carrying on and embellishing. Staying anonymous was probably the best decision for you because no one should have to go through harassment. Ignore the toxic people in the fandom. I know it's easier said than done, but they don't matter. Block, mute, do whatever you have to do in order to enjoy yourself. I cared a lot about what people thought in the past too, but with my heart issues and my health it's just not worth it. Mentally when I let people on the internet bother me it took its toll. People who want to cause drama just aren't worth it. On tumblr, twitter, etc we can control the environment that we want to have. Do that for yourself so you can enjoy your time and block anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable. There are a lot of people out there in the world that find joy in being mean to people. Don't let those kind of people bother you! Hope you have a happy new year and your holiday was good!

Take Negan's advice ^ here. This is one of my favorite Negan quotes because I feel like it could be good advice for anyone having issues with toxic people.

#ask #anonymous #fandom discourse #fandom problems

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

hi! so i don’t rlly know how to even phrase this but lately i’ve had a lot of stuff getting worse, none of the “basic” diagnoses i have (like depression and anxiety and stuff) describes it at all. so i’ve started questioning if i maybe have a personality disorder bc it’d all make sense, both the behaviors and how i see the world and why its only getting worse and more noticeable now etc.

i keep finding myself in cluster B PD traits and lately ive been reading more on NPD and i genuinely completely see myself in the description of the covert subtype. i always blame others for everything and am completely unable of accepting or feeling guilt. nothing is ever my fault, its always someone else doing something or provoking me or it’s the way i was raised or it’s because of the system etc. i’m deeply insecure but hate showing any kind of vulnerability. when i’m in a vulnerable position i get ashamed and angry bc i cant stand feeling weak. i often get so angry i do shit that could easily destroy all the relationships i have. i never apologize (unless it’s a situation where i have to in order to save the relationship but still never actually feel sorry) bc that’s showing vulnerability and admitting i’m wrong. i always compare myself with others, i used to think this doesnt apply to me bc i generally don’t care about typical things such as popularity and status as i’ve always been an outcast - and it’s kind of a major part of my identity that i feel different than everyone else (even though its most likely just how i was forced to learn to cope with being excluded), but i’ve come to realize i absolutely do always see myself as “the worst one” in terms of mental health. i can’t stand others talking about their issues bc no you don’t even have it that bad at all, i’m worse. i feel like no one will ever be able to truly understand me bc the majority of people are npcs anyway. no one thinks for themselves, they dont have any self awareness and just do what they’re told. i treat others like shit but still expect them to be nice to me because i deserve it because i’m sick. i deserve more attention from doctors because of how unwell i feel. i should be the one that gets treated first. i obviously never voice these feelings but it makes me so pissed off when i have to wait like i’m never important enough for anyone. like there was this one case when i had to wait longer for my appointment bc some girl came in due to an emergency and all i felt was angry and annoyed and like when is it my turn to get taken seriously?? i completely lack affective empathy and very rarely genuinely care about others. others being sad annoys me and others being happy makes me angry, sometimes even to the point of having homicidal thoughts. i’m envious of pretty much everyone who i consider better off than me. and again i dont mean shit like money or clothes but more like just the ability to be normal, having close friends, being in a relationship, all that stuff i know i’ll never be able to have bc of my mental illnesses. i’ve never been able to form genuine relationships, i do have a few friends but they all mean nothing to me and are just there so i’m not lonely. i’ve never been able to feel love or affection for anyone. and when i think abt it i dont even really want to be like them, i just want to make them suffer. i lie to everyone and only reveal my “true” self when im having a breakdown and basically cant control myself anymore as i have so much suppressed anger inside i sometimes feel like i have to genuinely put effort into stopping myself from physically attacking others; who cares abt words when im that far gone. and even then i later turn it around and make it seem like im just depressed and stuff (which is true, but theres also so much more no one knows about). everyone around me considers me a shy meek polite nice caring person and it just feels so ironic.

idk what to do at this point, genuinely. writing it all down like this makes me sound so fucked up even though i act relatively normal when i’m stable enough. but in reality i feel like on the inside i’m just breaking, i’ve had to turn to drug abuse as its literally the only thing that helps me cope with everything & prevent me from being even more destructive (towards both others and myself) and its making me even more short tempered when im sober and even more paranoid someone’s going to find out and get me in trouble. my therapist knows about it but doesnt do shit. ive been on so many psych meds before but its as if literally nothing ever works on me. like i would never normally seek advice on tumblr out of all places but i thought just maybe i would get understood here as i keep getting just either ignored or insulted on places like reddit (sure jan calling me a psycho is definitely going to help my issues when all i did was fucking ask how to cope with my issues).

sorry abt the wall of text. do you have any advice? ive been going to therapy for years but its all useless. i cant be honest with anyone for pretty obvious reasons. i just really dont feel like living for much longer. but even just acknowledging this ask and not judging me would mean a lot.

I obviously can’t diagnose you, but I will say a LOT of what you said is behaviors that and I other NPDs do, which makes me think that even if you don’t have it, advice and such that is geared towards pwNPD could help you. Unfortunately there isn’t much self-help geared towards pwNPD (I say self-help bc clearly your therapist is not a good therapist for you and I know it would probably be difficult to get a new one), but DBT workbooks are a good place to start. I think they’re technically geared more towards BPD, but they can definitely still help narcissists. Stuff like this is why I hate how much NPD is stigmatized, because we all DO deserve help and we all DON’T deserve to feel like this.

It sounds pretty basic, but are you a part of anything like online NPD/cluster B support groups, ie discord servers? Obviously they’re not a cure-all, but even just being around people who have the same thing and who you don’t have to mask around can help. If you don’t have any I could happily provide some if I can find a public one. Of course, communities like that can be a hit or miss, but it’s definitely at least worth a shot to try to find a group of people who are struggling with the same thing.

Another piece of advice, which might sound completely neurotypical on the surface, is to start journaling or writing down feelings. It might seem like just a small thing but having a place that only you can access where you can talk about things like vulnerability could be a good starting point, because at least you’re admitting it to yourself and getting it out there in some way. Lying to everyone and not being able to show your true self is really exhausting, so having one space that’s yours and yours only where you can learn to be comfortable with being vulnerable — even if it’s just to yourself — is a tiny thing that can work wonders. It doesn’t have to be some super dramatic “dear diary, woe is me” type thing, it can be something as simple as “Today I fucked up, and I know I fucked up, but I still blame xyz, I hate xyz.” That way you’re getting the vulnerable thoughts AND the angry thoughts out there without 1.) hurting others with the angry thoughts or 2.) having to show vulnerabity which would hurt you.

Of course the end goal might be to “unlearn” the behaviors, so to speak, but that can’t be done overnight, and until it is done, it’s better to have a few places to be open, even if it’s just amongst yourself or other pwNPD.

I hope this helped, lmk if you need more advice — and definitely know that you’re not alone, as cheesy as it sounds.

[boston-babies]

Was it hard getting into a relationship and trusting your current boyfriend after your past relationship experience? How did you het past the past?

/// Hi, Anon! I don't want this post to be so dramatic, but for me to answer this, I think I should explain a bit of my situation in the past. ⚠️ So this is a trigger warning ⚠️ - childhood trauma / depression. No details, but I still want to be safe for everyone.

For me, I have some childhood trauma linking with human relationships, and I am still learning to heal from it. So, just that on its own made it difficult for me to trust others and be open to giving that trust back.

My ex was one of the very few that knew about this past trouble, and he was the one person who saw all the damages I had and said he was grateful for the person I've become even through it all. And that meant so much to me then, and it still does now. I was in a very dark place when we met. It won't be a lie if I say I am alive today because of him. Unfortunately, he is not with me anymore, and it took me a long while to process the grief. Already having trust issues and losing the only person who gave me all his trust and hope was very tough, let alone thinking I will be able to do that with another person again.

But, what my ex told me before what had happened was that.. I will eventually understand him, and I will be able to move on as time goes on. I hated him for saying that. The pain didn't feel like time would make it better. It was a long time, but it made things a little dull. The pain, the anger, the betrayal, the sadness, and even the love I had. Of course, he will always be someone dear to my heart, but it's a different kind of love I have now for him.

So, yeah, it sucks that he was right, but time helped me get past it. I learned to thank him more and cherish our memories more as more time goes by.

It was hard to start a new relationship because I have all these things this new person should know about me.. and it's not easy to tell them everything because, 1. what if they don't like all the damages I have? 2. what if they think it's too much emotional baggage? 3. what if they pretend to care but will not give me the same trust back? 4. does anybody really care about my issues? etc. etc.

But what I can tell you is to be vulnerable. The only way you'll know the answer to those questions is to be vulnerable with them. Learn about the person, and decide if they are worth showing your all to. Know not to be naive, and protect yourself, but be open to telling and showing these parts.

It's hard to give your trust first, but you can not ask for it if you are keeping parts of yourself hidden. And I think that goes for everyone with or without mental health problems and/or bad relationship experiences!

Sorry this answer is so long, Barbie! 😬 I just wanted to answer it sincerely as it's a real part I struggled with in life, and maybe it can help others. Hope you understand 💖

.

#cc anon

[opinated-user]

Lily's characters are never characters. They're tropes, and usually only two or three tropes total. I can write whole essays on fandom OCs for many fandoms that I'm in and fanfics I've read.

Joe is a Jewish person whose desire to uphold tikkum olam, the idea that the purpose of life is to repair the world, is both noble and is driving a huge swath of his mistakes. He's too forgiving and too accepting and too willing to prioritize others over himself because the one time he lashed out on his own behalf ended with someone dead. The death has shaped the course of his life, impacted his mental health, and is something he's struggling with for decades afterwards. His impoverished background and secret worry he's a token minority gives him Imposter Syndrome. His childhood being bullied led to him having furious, violent thoughts about that bullies that has convinced him he's not a good person. He is driven to be a good person by all these things and more, resulting in someone whose morals and actions, even when the reader disagrees with them, make total sense for Joe as a person.

Yrsa is an OC from a fic my friend is working on. She was born with extremely low empathy and high alexthymia, leading to her parents viewing her as monstrous and heartless, resulting in isolation from her siblings and the deep-seated belief she cannot change or improve. She studied religious and philosophical texts in the hopes of fixing herself, determining what is and is not moral in order to be able to be someone her family can love. And a lot of the time, she does manage to do the right thing. Many times, she does things that are horrible and perfectly logical, the kind of necessary crimes that make you wince. But you can't hate her, because she's just a sixteen year old in over her head with no real guidance who was never shown love and who wants, desperately, to be someone who has a heart and is lovable. She wants to be a person. She does not see herself as one. Her cruelty feels logical without being alienating because she is a product of her environment. Her motivation to protect others is that she sees them as people and not herself, resulting in her valuing them more highly, making terrible actions sad because of the underlying motivation. They're not excusable and she gets called out, but she is never truly despicable. The world failed her.

Cahaya is an OC in a fic I found and am binge-reading currently. He is a victim of CSA and human trafficking, and has nothing but seething hatred for the world, a deep-seated distrust of authority, and an ongoing inability to trust people who have held out their hand to him in good faith. You get exhausted with him. You want to scream at him to take the fucking hand. And yet because no one ever intervened to help him despite all the signs of what was going on, his cynicism feels earned. His criminal actions for the sake of survival may not actually be necessary but you know that to him it feels necessary because of what happened to him in the past. And you know that despite all his insistence he doesn't care about others, his actions to help people when the situation is bad enough proves there's someone kind underneath all the layers of armor he had to create to survive. He's not monstrous. He finds power in calling himself a monster because a monster cannot be hurt. You may loathe his ongoing refusal to do character growth but at no point can you say his actions don't make sense for who he is given his background. He's also a minor which makes his dumbest moments make sense - no one is at their best at 16, after all, trauma or not.

Aliana is just a murderous power fantasy who fucks who the author wishes to fuck. Her actions do not make sense with her background. She does not prioritize trafficking and stopping it despite knowing its' evils. She does not prioritize the poor and downtrodden despite seeing poverty and power dynamics throughout the galaxy. She does not act like someone from her background. She exists to be badass and you could divorce her from her backstory without anything changing because murder, anger and sexual desire are all there are to her.

All the fics I mentioned were written by people younger than Lily. All of them are infinitely better. All of them were written by neurodivergent people. She does not have an excuse for her writing being this bad.

But all the other authors understood that you can't just tell the audience, "Joe is moral, Yrsa is incapable of empathy but good, Cahaya is lying when he says he's a monster". Those writers understood you need to show us Joe forgiving a murderer, Yrsa pouring over books to fix herself, Cahaya calling himself one thing in his internal monologue while doing something kind with his actions. Those writers understood writing is not turning to someone and declaring things without showing it in text.

Lily does not understand this. And that is why she will never write anything half as good as any of these people.

as it is she doesn't even like reading, so how could she actually appreciate writing on any form?

#lily orchard

[neverthinkjustfeel]

Due to very bad news I received today I had two of the worst panic attacks ever.

I don't think about suicide that much anymore but today was.. special, I guess?

I was overhelmed by all my dogmas and really just wanted to die. My life felt like a penalty that will last for my whole life. I thought that I will never be able to feel happiness ever again, I was so mad, sad and disapponted with the people whose only "job" it was to love me, but they failed so hard that sometimes I feel like I should just fire them. Like the man that got my mother pregnant with me. His only job was to love his kids, to be present and loving, a caring father, but damn, did he fail.

I am digressing right now because my head is lost in thoughts, but what I actually wanted to tell is the story about how reaching out may save your life one day.

The first panic attack today happened when I was walking in my hood and it came out of the middle of nowhere and I called one of my best friends and daaaamn did she organized my way out of this. She was quiet, calm, she was sweet and caring, loving and most of all: she was there. Even after this long and exhausting call she reached out to me, she offered help and gave me the feeling that I am not a burden even on bad days.

My second panic attack overcame me a few hours later and this time it was even worse than the first. I really felt like dying in the middle of a sunny day, I had struggle breathing and I hyperventilated so hard that I had to vomit and I couldn't drink one sip of water because I couldnt regulate my breathing. So I called my favorite human in the world and even if they are not in a good mental health place either, they were there. And damn, did they bring me back. They were breathing with me, showered with me (over phone), reminded me to try to drink, they listened to me and remembered me of all the things I thought were killing me - and didn't. They reminded me of how strong I am and even if I really, really thought I had to die in order to get rid of these feelings, they somehow made me survive this day. After this day I'm feeling very very tired and still pretty sad,but I am so grateful and full of love and it might make me cry a little longer, just thinking about how lucky I am to have these humans in my life.

And I know its not anyones job to be there and it can be exhausting for every side to have a situation like this, but please please reach out to your loved ones if you're feeling down.

Call your friends, text them, tell them how you're feeling even if someone in your past make you feel luke no one would ever care. Believe me, the people in your life care so fucking much about you and I promise you they'd one million times rather hear you talking about uncomfortable mental health stuff, than about your suicide/attempt/funeral.

[abiiors]

ok i had a full nights sleep. i am coherent. i am fixing to copy/paste the tweets here for your enjoyment. its a lot.

ok so parx twit had a “trend” on unpopular opinions about the band during the sneaking out of heaven tour (their most recent one) one person said this

“Had to be said. You forgot his over dependence on nyquil and sleep drugs that borderlines abuse, he claims he's straight edge though ✨”

she deleted and posted a noted app apology

“Hey friends, I'm writing this to you, not just as an apology for writing dumb shit on twitter with no thought behind it, but to also share that I do suffer from my own personal addiction to pain medication, and have been since I was 17. Addiction is a real thing, it's a problem and it should be talked about, but not at the expense of others and making baseless assumptions. We all know where false acusations can lead, and it's never a good time. I've been reflecting on my previous inflammatory tweet about Awsten and his use of Nyquil and I want to say that I am truly sorry for my, dumb, offensive and very thoughtless tweet. I didn't stop to think before I wrote something so dumb and hurtful and I'm sorry for that. I'm not perfect, l'm human and I make mistakes. I know I fucked up hard and I'm sorry to anyone that was offended by my words. I can delete a tweet, but I can't take away the fact that I wrote it, and that it's out there causing anger to people, so l'm acknowledging that, and owning my mistakes. I am also very greatful to the people that took the time to educate me on this, I always appreciate any guidance. Moving forward I want to do better, internet etiquette is hard to get right especially when you're in a fandom spanning multiple generations and culture's but l'm definately gonna try harder.”

awsten saw the tweets and now that tour has been over for a while he has responded.

“HEY AND BTW WHEREVER THAT ACORNBRAIN WALMARTMOUTH BREATHING TWITTER DULLED CLOWN IS AT THAT SAID I HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM BC I TAKE ZZZQUIL TO SLEEP IN A BUS ON A THIN ASS MATTRESS, I APPRECIATE UR CONCERN AND I HAVENT HAD ANY SINCE TOUR ENDED, YOU CURED ME OF MY ADDICTION”

“GET COOKED WORMBREATH DUMBASS !!! I HOPE YOURE LIKE 14 BECAUSE IF YOURE OPERATING LIKE THIS AT FULLY GROWN, I FEEL SO SAD FOR YOU HAHA PAINT DRINKER”

he quoted a tweet with this after that.

“THIS AND THEN SELF-RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE SMELLING BLOOD IN THE WATER SWOOP IN TO PAT THEMSELVES ON THE BACK AND ABSOLVE THEM LIKE A PRIEST SAYING "we weren't trying to cancel u we wanted to hold you accountable thank you" LMFAO0000000 I LAUGH EVERY TIME, ITS A FULL CIRCLE OF STUPID”

“it's either a notes app apology or an "i'm taking a break" and they go priv and come back in like two days” ^quoted tweet

he also tweeted a picture of a confessional with “you are… forgiven”

“DUMBEST HILLS HAVE EYES MUTANTS ON HERE WILL BE LIKE “uM personally i think he is so immature and Anyone should be allowed to say Anything and Everything at All Times with no repercussions” SIKE BITCH THIS IS THE REAL WORLD OPEN YOUR EYES”

the person who tweeted what hes talking about is between 32-34 and followed them for a majority of the us tour. they flew in from australia for it. somebody tweeted the photo of the tweet that caused him to say that cropped so the persons @ was cut out and his response to that was

“NO MORE CROPPING NAMES, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, WE SHAME IDIOTS, WE SHAPE THE FUTURE”

“WORLD PEACE

IM OUT”

her response to the paint drinker shit was

“loved waking up to you caling me an idiot, thanks Awsten. This fucked up my mental health something fierce and put me in a really bad place”

“Woke up and burst into tears, thanks Awsten”

and a “Awsten what the fuck”

hold on ill link a few of my favorite tweets from the situation because now what the fuck tweet is a whole fuckin joke.

https://x.com/lowkeyashan/status/1782178428982059407?s=46

https://x.com/aioevera7/status/1782185227428729005?s=46

https://x.com/tantrxmbee/status/1782170160209531077?s=46

-🦞

okay what i'm about to say might be a bad an unpopular take because i only have the context that you've given me in this ask so idk if this user used to be disliked before this, or used to be beloved or super popular or whatever else.

anyway i think awsten is... in the wrong here.

this is not to say that the user who tweeted about his alleged drug addiction is saintly and pure and innocent, that was a fucked up tweet to make regardless of if awsten would have seen and/or responded.

however... if i was a popular celeb with a wholeass fandom i would NEVER say these things publicly like sure i understand being mad that someone is talking to flippantly about drug use and speculating about your drug use online but then to go ahead and call them a bunch of names as well as essentially weaponise your fanbase in a way where they're now making memes about this person, making fun of them etc. i'm glad they're not 14 like he said but he didn't know if they were 14 or not, what if they were super young... what if someone who's barely a teenager had to deal with this not only from someone they adore but also from a whole fandom they considered their own??

anyway... yeah i hope tweetuser is fine and i'm glad there's no addiction here. ooofff that's a messy situation wow 😬

#✉️ #🦞 anon