#been feeling like getting a grip

[dido-main]

i might be planning quiting writing for a while after i finish 5 request i have and yeonjun's bday event. i have 4 other works in process too but i will be writing them slowly. but i am not sure. gonna rant in the tags

#maybe those will be my last 10 works #i won't quit tumblr tho #i might come back again #been feeling like getting a grip #putting myself together #focusing on other things #it has been fun #i feel sad and emotional for some reason #maybe i lost motivation due to low notes i am getting but i don't think so since i have been a writing machine recently #and also school will start probably after these 10 works i am talking about #it is not like i am the only pebble on the beach but still wanted to let you guys know #i will also focus on my actual writing ideas like not for tumblr and not in english that might turn into comics #i have a lot of things that i should learn for them #also i think i became kinda obsessed with tumblr so it will be a good thing #like i check my notifications as frequently as i can #definitely not healthy #but i don't plan quiting probably will keep reblogging stuff i like and stuff #also i love my friends and moots here #i never got hate and i also want to thank you guys for that #things i will focus on include myself astrology tarot reading skincare exercising dieting studying using my phone less making friends #and more #also my creative juice ran out #didospeaks #didorants #i might come back #this is not the end #but definitely taking a break #love you all

[legallydistinctloolooland]

i see your "Angel not knowing Husk is into guys & pining from afar" & raise you "Angel having a feeling/knowing that Husk is into guys & pulling all the stops in Gay Melodrama cause he thinks he isn't Husk's type"

#huskerdust #angel hearing Husk disclose one [1] iota of information on a past lover & being like 'oh come the fuck ON' #Angel thru gritted teeth staring at himself in the mirror gripping the sink: It Is FINE If We Stay Just Friends #I Need More Friends Anyway #Angel being like ''i will just bury this feeling deep within me until either IT dies or I do'' #meanwhile Husk is like. ''Ah yes surely Angel can pick up on the flirting I've been doing lately now that he's opened up'' #is Husk successfully flirting & Angel just doesn't get it or is Husk's idea of flirting so incredibly subtle it is impossible for anyone #to pick up on? You decide!

[anantaru]

LET PEOPLE WRITE WHAT THEY WANT AND FOR WHO THEY WANT !!!!!

#if you feel entitled to a character get help #or a trope like get a grip #thats not normal #i promise you the trope you think you invented has been on ao3 since 2008 #the character doesn't belong to you no matter how much time you invested in them writing wise #the way i have to say this is crazy #i will never understand gatekeeping a pixel like that is insane #and if you're mad im saying its insane then i just want you to know #womp womp go outside #if you're a gatekeeper like that unfollow me #i dont want you here #AND LET PEOPLE BE HAPPY !!!!!!!

[doodlingleluke]

Give your local fish girl a hug, we're moving into pisces season 🐟

#pisces #zodiac #fish? for pisces? how original #I just realized I've accidentally made all my zodiac art really blue lol #its been 6 months and I FINALLY feel like I'm getting a grip on coloring and shading in procreate #digital art

[beatcroc]

something something stages of grief

#okay lethal league released its grip on me enough to get back to working on these im going #i think i might hace showed a couple of these already i dont rememeber its been like two months its fine #the rouuhs WERE already done before i'd gotten sidetracked but im glad cleanups here went well regardless. like these ones a lot #if i had KNOWN the noise update was coming i would have tried to get this done before release. alas #climate for it feels Off now................oh well what can ya do

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[padfootastic]

if you were to summarise sirius' personality and character traits, how would you do it?

hi hi hi! so sorry for long this took but okay, so, let’s do this.

so, his CORE trait for me will always be loyalty, hands down. i once waxed poetic about sirius’ devotion to the potters to my friends for like, half an hour straight (one of them actually teared up). the way he talks about james even after so many years, how his first instinct is always to look out for harry, how everyone talked about him & j even when they believed he was the traitor—all of it just really drives home how he gives all of himself to someone when he decides to. if someone’s his person then he’ll do whatever it takes for them (if you’re not, tho? ur lucky if u even get a look in ur direction)

he’s also very competent. he was probably brought up as a pampered heir, with access to all the resources his little heart desired, so coupled w his innate ability/potential/aptitude, it becomes a deadly combination. he uses logic to work through things, prides himself on his intelligence, and probably wouldn’t like hanging out with people who can’t atleast match him in some sense (so laziness/incompetence grates badly).

as a corollary, he’s also pretty arrogant, in that casual sense that old money people are ykwim? he’s had the world on a silver platter his entire life, and even when he’s cut off from it, it’s still a part of him. there’s also the fact that he’s got a lot going for him—looks, power, smarts wise—and that just adds to it. so it can be off putting or it can be hot or both, but he has a superiority complex and he doesn’t exactly hide it. less interaction with the plebs, the better for him.

irreverence and dark humor!!! sirius copes using morbid jokes and making people uncomfortable; he has slight control issues and this way, he makes sure everyone’s always on their toes. it’s also like,,,a way to kind of gauge how others will react to him based on how they deal w his humor. bc he’s not sunshine and roses, right? and he doesn’t want anyone treating him like it or expecting him to be so. and in a way, their reactions to his jokes correlated to their degree of acceptance for him.

intense. when it comes to things he likes, he’s very passionate about it, almost with a single minded focus. and it can get A Lot. he operates in a lot of extremes, right? so either 0 or 100 and this comes across in the way he interacts with people, the level of interest he shows to things, and how much effort he puts in, if it’s His Thing, then he won’t leave a stone unturned but if he doesn’t care? then he will not give a single shit

soooo, these are some of the things i very strongly believe in for sirius 🙈 tell me what u think? (and as always, @artemisia-black has some great metas on sirius’ character so i’d recommend checking those out for sure!)

#sirius black #tumblr has been difficult lately 😓 #bc i’ve been travelling for stuff and there’s so much work piling up and i have a lot to do #esp this week #i haven’t been able to write anything in so long #but i love asks like this!!! #they’re fun and low pressure and let me talk at length about my boys #without punctuation at that lol #also controversial opinion: but i think a part of sirius always knew that if he caved he would get the silver platter back #like his family was probably v desperate to get their perfect heir & son back yeah? #and if sirius really REALLY needs to he can go back to it #except he’ll have to give up parts of himself for it and he won’t do that #but the knowledge that it’s not fully irreversible probably added to his arrogance a bit too #the knowledge that he’s not fully alone #if that makes sense? feel like i didn’t explain that well #i feel like a lot of this is just. hcs and conjecture but let it go yeah? #i don’t have a strong enough grip of canon togo that route #and in any case—i cherry-pick canon and only take what i like form it #from* #sirius is anyway a character of my heart first #pen’s asks

[stardial]

it’s been an incredibly tumultuous last one and a half months for me emotionally, but i think i’m finally starting to recover properly and it feels really nice

#the first like. week and a half of the year was amazing becuase i got to spend it with anethia <3 and then rama and sunday <3 #but like as soon as i got back to school one of my friends died and that put me in such a severe downward spiral #and there was like a month there where i just like. could barely function #and for a while it just felt like i was barely barely clinging onto life at all and idk if i’d been able to make it without rama (<333) #but then when i felt like i’d rly hit my own personal rock bottom i just like. suddenly got a grip on myself? #and now i’ve been taking care of myself and i’ve been doing my hobbies and i’ve been.. happier #and it feels so good. instead of being anxious abt everything i’ve been trusting people #instead of rotting away i’ve been doing things! sewing and cleaning and writing etc #it feels nice <3 #arambles #sorry bit of a personal post but i’ve just rly wanted to get it out there

[fereldanwench]

this might be the year i revisit my mea stuff

maybe

idk could just be the coffee talking

i had started going all again shortly before cp77 just took over my ENTIRE EXISTENCE and i do still have such a fondness for one dr harry carlyle

i love my ryder, too, although i think i'd have to age her up even more to get back in that headspace. iirc, i made her 25 instead of 22, but as of this april i feel like i can officially say I'm very much pushing 40 and I'm good to leave the 20-something experiences far behind lmao

and i was taking some pretty cool shots using the basic features of ansel and having no idea what i was otherwise doing. it'd be fun to revisit ~*virtual photography*~ in another game. i don't think anything is gonna come close to vp in cp77 tbh but mea is a very pretty game with very pretty characters uwu

#oc: sara ryder #c: harry carlyle #ship: harry x sara #g: mea #s: mass effect #if im gonna get it the mass effect bug usually hits me around march/april #maybe we'll see then #god parts of this game are such a slog tho #i thought about bringing them into cyberpunk too #sara is sort of the antithesis to valerie in a lot of ways #mainly in having anger issues lmao #could be fun to see them together #i really dont know though!!!! #the grip valerie has on me is unprecedented tbh #i've never been solely committed to an oc like i have been to her #aging sara up a bit could be really fun tho #i was playing into the age difference a lot with sara and harry initially #and i think she'd still be younger than he is #but having her feel like a failure-to-launch in her 30s while fighting for more out of spite #contrasted with harry being incredibly accomplished and suddenly having to cope with the trauma he endures on habitat 7 #could be a really fun dynamic to explore

[skitskatdacat63]

I literally can't stop thinking about this sequence of pictures, actually completely brainrotting me

#ever since i watched aus 2009 i cant stop scrolling back up in my gallery to stare at these #like pics that genuinely make me roll around on my bed and squeal #GAHHHHHH LIKE THE WAY SEB IS GRINNING UP AT AND HESITANTLY PLACING HIS HAND ON HIS CHEST #AND THEN JENSON NOTICES AND MY GOD THE WAY HES LOOKING AT HIM I CANT I CANT #THE WAY THEYRE SMILING AT ESCH OTHER IM GONNA LOSE IT #AND LOOK HOW HARD JENSE IS GRIPPING HIM GODDDDDDDD #like i really cant express in words how these make me feel its actually just *tv static noises* #i feel like im grinning so hard looking at these that im gonna explode #(also @grace if you see these: ive been reading solar flare lately and GOD YOURE SO RIGHT WHEN YOU REFERENCED IT) #(theres this part where mark says to jb that hes been looking up podium/press pics of them online) #(and that they look like theyre in love HE IS LITERALLY ME FRRRRRR LIKE IM GOING INSANE OVER IT) #(these pics brainrotted me before i started reading it but reading it has only made it 100x worse/better) #anyways i really really like 2009 sebson they're so endearing to me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #ig its just smth about how theyre so affectionate with each other despite being each others rivals #like constantly patting/nudging/hugging each other IM GONNA CRYYYYY IM GONNA EXPLODEEEE #i put these pics in the comp i made if seb but like bcs of the magnitude to which they affect me i needed to make a posr for them #just imagine me wailing and losing my mind irl and in these tags sob sob sob #if i stay committed w watching races ill just keep on going to the end of the v8 era so dw my wailing can only get worse :D #every time i scroll up out of the tags to look at the pics again i feel my heart skipping a bit HDJFKGKGKGL #anyways unhinged wdym unhinged :) #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #jenson button #jb22 #sv5 #sebson #2009 australian gp

[spacedlexi]

it honestly frustrates me when i see people reduce the ericsons cast down to "just some teens in the woods" acting like theyre no different than any other group of lone teenagers from other existing properties and treating them like an overused trope

it is sooo important to acknowledge the "troubled youth" aspect of the whole equation. theyre not just some random teens in the woods clem stumbles across. these kids were abandoned by their families for their various "difficulties" and fucked up by The System before the outbreak even began. and then once zombies started roaming the streets their familes never came back for them and the adults that were in charge of taking care of them just left them there to rot in that old boarding school (except for ms martin who was like their lee 🥺 the only person who ever saw them as the scared traumatized kids they were and died protecting them)

the whole aspect of them already being fucked up by the adults that controlled their lives is like.....kind of important when discussing the whole "delta is stealing kids to force them to fight in a war they have no real part in and want nothing to do with" aspect of the season. and its important when comparing them to clem and her journey of also suffering at the hands of the adults around her forcing her to become self reliant. AND its important when discussing the "just trying to build a safe home (and future) worth fighting for in this world that wants them dead" aspect of the season as well

these kids were forced to come together to survive. and a Lot of them didnt... theyre the only family they have left and you can tell that even when they argue with each other theyre still a close knit group who looks out for each other. theyre a Real family before clem even gets there (and its why what really happened with the twins and brody and marlon hits them all so especially hard)

all of this is what REALLY makes ericsons such a perfect home for clem. its a Real community of her True peers. theyre not Just teens. they mightve had a layer of safety clem never had by at least having walls to keep them safe. and having the benefit of the school being hard to find. its the only reason theyre still alive when clem shows up. but theyre also some of the only people who can Truly understand where clem and aj are coming from. and its why it hurts so much when they vote to kick them out. but its also partially why she merges back into the fold so easily when she returns. plus the fact that shes Really the only one who has any idea what shes doing. shes their rock and she makes them feel safe because underneath it all theyre still just those scared traumatized kids ("EVERYONE is scared, clem..." vi was Definitely including herself in that 'everyone'), and on some level, so is clem

they saved clementines life. and she saved theirs. "the school was supposed to help them with their trauma, now they help each other" its about the LOVE the COMMUNITY the SUPPORT!!!! and thats the shit that makes good zombie media honestly 👌

#it speaks #twdg #there i go again writing another essay but i will Always defend the ericson cast theyre one of the strongest out of all 4 seasons #complaints ive seen about s4 typically include mentions of the teens as a trope being overused and im like.......did you even pay attention #the fact they were branded “troubled youth” and basically thrown away by everyone who was supposed to take care of them is SO IMPORTANT #these kids are Fucked Up but theyre Trying to make a kinder world #nobody talk to me i fucking love the ericson cast 😭😭😭 theres not a single one of them i dont like im serious #them using poor pilgrim of sorrow in ep3....ericsons is heaven to clem 😭 all the comments she can make about feeling safe there 😭😭 #clem being everyones rock but violet being clems rock back 🥺😭💕 waaaaahhh thats why it was over for me when vi stood up for them in ep 2 #vi having the courage to stand up to her group for aj........... yeah she had me in a vice grip after that. she fought for them so hard #and if it wasnt for her advocating so hard for them to stay they ALL would have been taken or killed #vi cared about clem so much she undoomed them all #and aj loved clem so much he undoomed her :') #s4 is just the perfect ending to clems story truly itll make me happy for the rest of my life im so happy for u clem 🥺 #tfw the media you like gets a good ending and the main characters are respected and it feels like it was made from a place of love #instead of being like...actively hostile to its fanbase and destroying its own characters for the Laughs #and when i say “good” i dont necessarily mean “happy” i just mean “competently written" #i wouldnt call it perfect but it survived both a cancellation AND the financial collapse of a major game studio. its perfect to Me #for what it is (and what it originally almost was with the clems house plot) we truly lucked out so fucking hard #truly a return to form of season 1 but with less despair and more hope which i appreciate :') #all the things ive liked over the years that were destroyed for me by bad or weird writing decisions... clutches onto twdg like a lifeboat #god i love s4 so much nothing has ever been More Specifically Written For Me Personally

[anxiously-sidequesting]

To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope

#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad #but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to #its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐 #HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j #like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal #but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip #(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA #ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances- #and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people #LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny #like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay” #and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood #without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now #for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why #like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ #you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially #whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not #ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing #but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u #i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts #malistaire drake

[the-lark-ascending69]

> be a robin buckley fan

> be lesbian

> project on robin

> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic

> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve

#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!'' #i have several grips about that interpretation #going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply) #to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take #a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his #inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect #him to be that smart #but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way #it fine #what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao #who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3) #3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too #like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's #rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc #the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭 #also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw #unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it) #like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her. #she's his friend. #but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones #where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭 #anti steddie #not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone #edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel #drowned in st3ddie posts #like something isn't right here

[firebirdsdaughter]

Hmmm…

… Everyone's jumping to shipping for Boonboomger, and I get why, but I'm personally feeling more family vibes. Think this could be a good team-centric season.

#Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger #it's got me watching the first two eps in a long while #I know I haven't been hanging around Toku much but 01 really put me through the ringer #and just none of the others have really gripped me since Ryusoulger #but this looks like some nice silly fun and may be a good detox #and honestly I'm just getting sibling vibes #solid starter trio and I feel like the other two will fill out the team well #I'm nominating glasses cop girl from the op and ep 3 preview for sixth until proven otherwise #anyway no tag for this one yet until I have enough brain power for tire jokes #Sentai Super

[dykeinthedark]

can someone come over and take care of me and put their hand to my forehead and check my fever and bring me medicine and run their hand through my hair while i drink soup (i have a minor headache)

#my head and body feel like it's on fire i've been in the worst condition ever these last few days but NOBODY'S GONNA FUCKING BELIEVE ME #LIKE I CAN'T JUST TELL MY PROFESSORS. i've been such a bad student like who the hell is gonna buy this #sowwy i can't write my essays i have brain on fire forever disease and dreaming forever disorder🥺 get a grip girl #(me/cfs and dp/dr combo this last week has been so unreal) #NOBODY'S GONNA FUCKING BELIEVE ME

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Every once in a while I'm possessed by the frankly insanely intense urge to draw on myself

#knox rambles #ive been meaning to get skinsafe pens or markers or something but i havent #im staring at my thumb vividly watching where the lines should be #this will not go away until i either draw this out or find another outlet for my bottled up emotions-- #i feel a bit mentally ill #slight grips of insanity digging into my brain #someone might look at me and assume im contemplating murder by the expression on my face but no #im just resisting the urge to grab a pen and come to an hour later with a headache and some elaborate drawing over MY THUMB SPICIFICALLY #i really need to find good skinsafe markers #totally fine one second feeling like my sanity is slipping the next its all i can think about now #is this a problem? who knows honestly WHEEZEJFJJG