#ben chilwell angst

[neverinadream]

I Can't Say Goodbye

Summary: He was never going to be her happy ending.

Pairing: Ben Chilwell x Fem!Reader // Christian Pulisic x Fem!Reader (Briefly Mentioned)

Requested: Nope

Song Inspo: Happy Ending - Mika

Warnings: 18+, minors dni, smut, angst, pre-established relationship <- and i use that term loosely here, infidelity, one mention of biting, unprotected sex, ben crying, heartbreak, no happy ending, not edited

Notes: she's clearing out the drafts, everyone cheer for her!! this wasn't the winner of the poll but it's shorter than the other thing i'm writing. anyway, i'm about to break your hearts in like 1000 words or so, get ready. feedback is always appreciated

Reaching for her hands, Ben intertwined his and his lover’s fingers together, placing a kiss on the backs of them, before pressing them into the pillows above her head. Loose strands fall in front of his eyes, tickling them both from above as his face aligns with hers. It makes her head spin, him leaning over her like this, his body wrapped up in her legs, his cock nestled deep inside. "Give me a second, love," he rushes to get out as Y/N impatiently grinds her hips against him, trying to trick him into moving again, "I just want to look at you."

He studied her features like he was studying a piece of art, and with an intensity that made her face burn. He took mental images of every part of her that stood out the most to him. From her eyes and their colour to the shape of her lips, and every spot, her consolations of freckles, her dimples, and the scars that had a place to call home on her body. He tried to cement them all into his brain.

There wasn't a part of her that he didn't want to forget.

"I never want to forget how beautiful you are," Ben whispers, dipping to kiss her mouth, his tongue flirting with hers as she parted her lips. She squeezes his hands tighter, her cunt fluttering as he moves his hips, rocking his cock in and out of her. "And all those little sounds you make for me," he chokes, new tears pricking his eyes, “I'll never forget them.”

Y/N detangles their hands, quickly wiping the tears that dampened his cheeks, before threading her fingers through his hair, the brunette locks slipping through her fingers like soft strands of silk. "I love you,” she whispers against his mouth, meaning the words that came out her mouth.

“I know,” he utters back, his hand running down her naked frame. He hitches her leg higher over his hip, trying to remember the way she gasps his name as he thrusts deeper.

The moments between broken apologies and the desire to remember the other were filled with soft whimpers and ragged breaths. Neither of them wanted to say goodbye, but they knew this secret of theirs wasn't built strong enough to last. Eventually, one of them would slip up. And two broken hearts was better than three.

He wraps his hand around the back of her neck, pressing his hand into the base of her skull, pulling her closer as he sinks his weight on top of her. She could feel his heart hamming against her chest, mirroring her own. He forces his tongue past her lips, taking her mouth in a searing, dominated kiss. He kissed her like she was the oxygen that filled his lungs because without her, he wasn't sure if he would stay alive.

“I just wanted you to be mine,” he sobs, pressing his forehead against hers. He closes his eyes, wet lashes sticking together, as more tears trickle down his cheeks. “But he'll give you what I can't,” he adds, touching his thumb against her bottom lip. It trembles as she fights the urge to cry. She had to stay strong for both of them. “He'll give you the happy ending you deserve.”

She slides her hand over his jaw, his beard prickling the smoothness of her palm. “Look at me,” she pleads, wanting to look into his eyes for one last time.

Y/N knew she was in trouble the first time she looked into Ben's eyes. Two pools of the purest water. The deepest oceans known to humankind. She had gotten lost in them too many times to count. And when they flutter open, she gets lost in them for one final time.

She wraps her legs tighter around him, pulling him deeper. “One last time,” she withers beneath him, her body shaking as he reaches his hand down her body. He presses the tips of his fingers against her clit, rubbing the sensitive nub in a tantric rhythm, working in tandem with the slow snapping of his hips. “There,” she whimpers, the wall she had built up before coming here crumbling as she feels herself begin to let go, “that - yes - keep doing that.”

“I've got you,” he whispers, brushing his lips against her temple, “just let it out.” He groans, hot breath fanning her face, as she clenches around him, her walls milking his cock as she comes for him. “That's it,” he repeats like a chant, tearing his hand away and fisting the pillow beside her, feeling himself spilling inside her. His hips grind into her, soft pants of unintelligible sayings escaping Y/N's mouth as he pulls them both through their highs. “Fuck,” he bites down her shoulder, burying his face into her honey scented skin, “I'm still coming-”

After catching his breath, Ben rolls over, pulling her so she is half lying across his chest, his hand roaming the length of her back. She lifts up onto one elbow and strokes her fingers over his chest hair, sporadically kissing his body until she finally reaches his mouth. “Please, don't say it,” he begs, hearing enough goodbyes to last him a lifetime. He covers his face to hide another fresh wave of tears. “Just wait until I've gone to the bathroom.”

He rolls out from under her and she goes about searching for her clothes in the dark.

One by one, she pulls them on, saving her boots for last, before digging around in her bag for her phone. A picture of her and Christian flash up on her lockscreen, taken during the last summer break, and she has to swallow the guilt that sits on her tongue like a bad aftertaste. He thinks she's in London to see her family, homesick after their recent move to Milan. This, her seeing Ben for one final time, would have never crossed his mind.

No, Christian trusted her too much to suspect her of cheating.

With one final look at Ben's bed, all the memories they had made together under the comfort of his sheets, she exits his bedroom and then finally his home for the last time.

———————

Football Taglist: @shanoontje @maseandkepa @theblxefox @blueathens  @ofxinnocence @mrschilly @geek-and-proud @in-my-body-bag @laurasstufff1 @mountchilly @spicysainz @thoseboysinblue @kickinganddriving @lizzypotter14 @bracedes @chilwellspulisic @notsoattractivearenti @swimmingismywholelife @lovelynikol16 @masonsrem @landoslover @kathb59 @emcv1427 @gagaslonina @afterpills @pulisicsgirl

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell smut #ben chilwell one shot #ben chilwell blurb #ben chilwell angst #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell x y/n #ben chilwell x you

[findingnemosworld]

𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 - 𝐛𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥

• 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: 𝐦𝐞

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞, 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭; 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐨?

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐚 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞.

how the world can seem so vast on a journey to the past

Their families were seated outside in her back yard, having a lovely meal in the warm weather — she sat back and observed how everyone was chatting animatedly amongst one another which further added onto the ache she felt deep inside of her heart, as the chatter quieted down, she stood up with her glass raised high as she began to speak with a soft shaky tone, " I’d like thank everyone for coming tonight, my parents haven’t exactly told you why because I wanted you all to be gathered for this occasion "

His brows knit in confusion, her tone had clearly gave away that she hadn’t been feeling well despite her continuous attempts to brush off his concern.

" A few weeks ago, I had applied to the Juilliard School of performing arts because as you know, I’ve been fortunate enough to receive quite the backing from my instructors and today " She paused then swallowed the lump in her throat, " I have received my acceptance letter, I’m in "

His smile fades almost instantly, as his brain recounts the past few weeks in which she was quite on edge, shifty and overall avoiding any and all inquiries regarding her emotional state, he watched as his family along with hers were elated, congratulating her whilst he sat there completely taken back by what he had heard.

Suddenly his mother turns to him and asks him, " Well aren’t you going to congratulate her, darling? "

He nods swiftly then offers her a sweet smile then says, " Congrats love "

She smiled weakly then said, " Thanks Ben "

It was after the dinner party that he had followed her to their corner which was a shed in her backyard, he pushed the door open and walked in. " Love, can I come in? "

She chuckles, " Why are you asking for permission Ben, of course you can? "

He walks in further before sitting next to her, a brief wave of silence envelops them before he decides to ask her with a soft; broken tone. " When were you going to tell me? "

She lets out a soft sigh, " I didn’t want you to figure it out like this so it was best to keep it until we all gathered "

" I thought you’d stay here, that we’d room together like we always said we would " He said, his tone displaying the ache he felt.

She heaves out a soft breath, " You know we can’t do that, you’re dating Carla, the last thing she wants is for you to be rooming with me "

He raised a brow at her remark, " So? you’re my best mate "

" Ben " She groans in frustration. " Are you really that much of an idiot to not realize that a boyfriend having a close female mate let alone a roommate is a big no no? "

" Says who? we’ve been mates since we were kids and not once did I see you in that light even though our mums tried their best to set us up, plus Carla knows that you’re just my best mate " He shrugs, not sure why she was making a big deal out of it. " I just … I don’t wanna get used to not seeing you around anymore "

She giggles at his tone, " There’s plenty ways for us to communicate Benji, Skype, Facetime — so many more, and plus It’s not like I won’t be visiting in the holidays "

He sighs, " I know, it’s just … " he looks up at her then says. " I’ll miss you "

She reaches over to pull him into an embrace then says, " I’ll miss you too Benji, I promise we won’t lose touch "

" We won’t for sure " He reiterated, vowing to make sure they always stay in contact.

And yet, they never did.

Ben had become so occupied with football & Carla that phone calls and messages between him as well as her had lessened as time flew by — Leisurely, he’d stopped asking about her; in turn, so did she.

She’d expected it to happen, given their growing careers yet what she didn’t expect was for them to lose touch entirely so much so that she had barely seen him even during the holidays, she’d known he had broken up with Carla which was also expected given how hectic his footballing schedule was, however she certainly didn’t think he’d also leave his friendship behind.

Until … that one night.

___

2023.

" You know? she’s back from New York … "

Ben had been in the kitchen, chatting with his mother when she had effortlessly brough her up in the midst of their conversation, he grew silent as he recalled the last time they’d spoken which was about three years ago — due to the unfortunate effect of time. " Oh? "

His mother raised a brow, " Oh? that’s what you’ll say, she was your best mate darling "

" Keyword is was, I haven’t been exactly best mate of the year " He murmurs shyly. " And to be fair so was she "

His mother shot him a knowing look, " I don’t seem to recall her being the one to cut you off due to work, she’d show up, visit me and ask about you even though you were the one that stopped talking "

He looks down in shame, " I know "

His mother shakes her head, " Well it’s a good thing you two will see each other soon for Landon’s wedding "

His head shot up at the mention of his school mate’s name, " What do you mean? "

" She’s the maid of honor and you’re the best man so you two will be spending a lot of time together " His mother explained.

Ben’s eyes widened, he had a feeling that she would be less than thrilled with the idea of spending time with him; indeed, at Jill’s home, she had heard the unfortunate news of being paired up with Ben.

—

" You’re not serious, right? " She reiterated with an incredulous tone. " I have to spend time with him "

Jill rolls her eyes, " Babe, please — Landon and Ben are school mates, plus he knows that you have a fucked up history with Ben with the whole leaving because you’re too much of a pussy to admit that you like Ben "

She shot Jill a deadly glare — " I am not a pussy, and plus I’m over Ben, as clearly he’s never once seen me as anything more than a childhood mate, because it was easy for him to cut me off and focus on his footballer lifestyle "

Jill sighs, " Did you ever stop to think that things happened cause of life? "

" It doesn’t matter " She sighs, covering her face. " I will just ignore him "

" Babe " Jill groans.

" Fine I will not ignore him " She huffs.

—

A few weeks later, Landon and Jill had invited her along with Ben for the cake tasting — Ben had arrived early while all three waited for her to arrive, at about five minutes later she sprints inside with an apologetic tone, capturing Ben’s attention immediately, he noted how much longer her hair had gotten, her completely 180 switch in regards to her style of clothing as well as her face which was semi bare of any makeup, only a spec of mascara and lip gloss.

" Hi, Hi … sorry I’m late, I was held up at the dance studio " She states with an apologetic tone, before her eyes landed on Ben. " Benjamin " she said with a cordial tone.

The icy tone felt akin to a knife penetrating his heart, he nods in acknowledgement then looks away as Landon and Jill raise their brows at him almost as if they’re silently asking him to try and do something, as she stood near Ben — a unanimous ping from Jill and Landon caused her to look at them in confusion.

" Oh … Oh would you look at that? we have a mix up cause Landon and I are scheduled to check out venues " Jill said with a sickeningly sweet tone, she turns to Landon. " Shall we babe? "

Landon grins, " Yes we shall? you guys are ok with handling the cake tasting "

Ben grows silent and was about to speak when she suddenly spoke up with a calm tone, " We certainly will, right Benjamin? "

Ben chuckles nervously, " Right? "

The couple depart, leaving both Ben and her in front of several cake samples — the person in charge, an elder woman by the name of Suzanne approached them, " You guys need any help? "

She smiles softly, " Nope, we got this "

Ben eyed her as the pair browsed through the array of cake samples — " Landon likes vanilla with a splash of cinnamon? " he remarks, breaking the wave of awkward silence.

" Jill likes a berry mix with a hint of chocolate " She retorts with a sarcastic tone. " This is her big day "

" And it’s also Landon’s big day " Ben remarks with an eye roll, " Listen … we’ll just go with the vanilla/cinnamon mix "

" Excuse me! " She exclaims with an incredulous tone, " I’m the maid of honor and my main duty is keeping Jill happy "

" And I’m the best man, I want to make sure my best mate Landon is happy " Ben said, his voice rising slightly high.

She chuckles dryly, " You sure are a good friend huh Chilly? "

Ben winced, recalling how their friendship fell out. " Love? " he whispers.

" No, no … you’re best mate of the year Benji, you’re such a caring friend that I’m surprised you never reached out when I was injured, or when my Nan died … it’s like you wiped me out so excuse me for shifting my emotions onto someone that appreciates them " She said with glossy eyes, " So? we are going with Jill’s option for the main cake and Landon’s option for the reception cake, a good compromise "

Ben sighs then nods, " Agreed "

Another wave of awkward silence falls between them before Ben murmurs, " I’m sorry "

She sighs, " It’s pointless Ben, ok … we haven’t spoken in three years so let’s get through this wedding and just, forget this ever happened "

Yet he had no desire to forget nor risk the chance of reconnecting — the weeks that followed were brutal, she either purposefully ignored him as they worked through awkward silence or worse – handed him an obscene amount of work just so that he’d be far away from her as possible.

What’s worse, he’d begun to sense a nagging sense of covetousness lurking in the back of his mind — she seemed to cozy up rather quickly to Jill’s male cousin Freddie, a football player from a Scottish low tier team he wasn’t aware of.

He loathed the feeling, which seemingly kept him up at night – resulting in a string of memories to crash through his mind, he wasn’t blind to her beauty, it was the kind that drew anyone in, even more so as they’ve gotten older, she had her fair share of suitors that were either heartbroken or sent away by her claim that she needed no man.

Yet he couldn’t help but wonder why he felt a sense of elation each time that happened, could it been? perhaps … what their mothers used to joke about had become a reality, he really was in love with her — he was in love with his best mate.

During the final two weeks leading up to the wedding, Landon and Jill had believed that signing Ben and her up for couples dancing classes would be a delightful idea, oh how they were wrong?

The dance instructor was overzealous, he began his class by saying, " The rules are simple … Tango has no rules, it’s all about following a specific rhythm deep within, it’s the connection between two souls "

She casts a sideway glance at Ben then says with a soft tone, " If you step on my foot, I’ll kick you in the balls "

Ben chuckles, " For that, I just might do it "

As the dance class commenced — a soft upbeat tempo filled the studio as Jill and Landon moved on one end while Ben and her moved on the other, it’d been arduous at first to pretend as if there wasn’t a wave of awkwardness between them yet as they continued to follow the instructions of the dance instructor, a wave of warmth coursed through them with each step, the passion that they concealed was slowly seeping through the cracks.

The song had ended, and as Ben pulled her in, their lips mere inches away, she pulled away muttering something under her breath before storming out, Jill and Landon sharing a look of confusion before Landon asked, " Did you say something? "

Jill sighs, " I’ll talk to her "

He shakes his head before replying, " No, I’ll talk to her "

Ben follows her out to find her leaning up against her car. " Love? "

She blows a soft breath before she finally looks up at him and that's when he noticed her tear stained cheeks which caused his heart to twinge in ache, " I hate you "

" Love, don't say that " Ben sighs in complete dejection.

" No! " She cried — blinking away the tears. " I waited and waited for you to notice me when all you did was brush me off in favor of those pretty girls that come your way, hell you’d ignore me the second you get a girlfriend, our mums could even see it but you … you continuously broke my heart and I … " she laughs softly, " It still beats for you, this stupid battered heart still beats for you "

He tried to approach her only for her to back away, causing him to frown.

" I can’t do it " She sighs walking to the driver’s seat. " Goodbye Ben! "

He watched as she had driven away with a large portion of his heart — as he dejectedly returned to the studio with an enormous amount of ache, Jill said with a concerned tone. " What happened? "

" I lost her " He whispers.

" Ben, mate … no " Landon tried to assure him.

He offers the couple a sympathetic smile before adding, " No, it’s ok "

____

The ceremony was picture perfect from start to finish — everyone gathered at the church to celebrate Landon and Jill who lovingly expressed their emotions with Ben and her standing behind the bride and groom respectively, while she was engrossed in the beautiful sight, he was engrossed entirely in how ethereal she looked in the baby pink gown that complimented her features — and it was at the reception party that he finally decided to confess his feelings.

Only to be stopped by the heart aching sight of her and Freddie together.

Landon suddenly approached him then murmurs, " Mate, go up there and talk to her "

He sighs, " she doesn’t want to talk to me "

" No, she does … Freddie is gay " Landon said.

He raised a brow, " What? "

Landon laughs — " You didn’t know, Jill had mentioned it during the rehearsal dinner "

He tries to think back to that day yet it seems that he’d been too engrossed in looking at her that he failed to listen to anything, " So he’s not …? "

" No he’s not … now please for the love of god, stop being a party pooper and go " Landon had to practically shove him towards her.

Ben tentatively made his way towards her just as Freddie excused himself, she turns to him then says. " Came to make sarcastic remarks and make me feel bad? "

" No, I came to say that I’m an idiot, a complete bafoon, a meat-head, a bone-head, an ar— " He stopped midway when her hand was up.

" I get it … go on " She said with a ponderous sigh.

" I’m sorry love, I’m really truly fucking sorry " He said with an apologetic tone, " I wish I can go back time and undo those three years but I’d been so caught up with football that I forgot that you matter just as much, if not more important than football "

" Ben, don’t say that " She said with a soft tone.

" No, just … just hear me out " He said with an equally soft tone, " You know what these three years taught me, it taught me that the one girl who’s been there for me when times were rough, the one girl I could count on to cheer for me during the academy matches, the one girl who kept me in line when things got overwhelming, the one girl that owns my heart is … you "

" Ben " She sighs dejectedly.

" I love you, I really fucking love you " He said, " If you’d let me, I’d make you the happiest woman there is "

Before she could respond, they hear the guests gathering, she says. " Jill’s gonna throw the flowers "

They walk up to the crowd and then — as if fate had intended for it to happen, the bouquet of flowers lands directly in her hands as the guests clap for her.

She looks at Ben and says, " I guess this is the answer to your question "

He grins, tugging her in for a soft passionate kiss that spoke volumes in regards to their bond — and though, despite not wanting to give in, this journey to the past had brought them back together.

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell fanfiction #ben chilwell fanfic #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell angst #ben chilwell fluff

[threelionsgirl]

kinda shy | ben chilwell

part II of pillow talk

request: “Pt 2 when they’re back in London and they both have distanced themselves from the cup?? AHHHH I just can sense chillys “oh I wanna show interest but I’m kinda shy and thinking about what she said” type thing. Like being cautious about his next move…, or her next move idk??? Either way this piece was incredible!!” warnings: none word count: 681 masterlist | requests are open!

After long physio sessions, Ben was finally home. The Club World Cup title and the trip to the Emirates were cool, the celebration was gigantic, but soon they had to return to London and with the return was also his physio routine after his knee surgery. A few days had passed, and his recovery was going well, but what really didn't get out of his head was his night with Y/N. He had her number saved on his phone and thought about calling or texting like he said he would, but every hour he would come up with something to do to put it off.

They had followed each other on Instagram and every now and then Chilwell was checking out her pictures and stories, but he found it kind of ridiculous because he had the mood to spend minutes of his day on Y/N's profile, but not to call her. Not that he didn't want to be with her again, he really wanted to show interest, but something was making him a little shy, wondering what she was going to say. He didn't even know if Y/N remembered him, maybe she got tired of waiting and could even be with someone else already.

He was sitting on the couch in his living room after having a nice shower with Oscar by his side. The dog was lying with his head on his owner's lap, receiving affection from one of Ben's hands. He stood like that for a while, his hand tingling, until he decided to fuck off and dial the number Y/N had saved there.

She answered on the second ring.

"Hello?" Her voice was soft on the other end of the line, Ben coughed weakly to allow his voice to come out.

"Hi, it's me." He scratched his throat, looking at Oscar as if asking for help.

"Me who?"

"Ben." He paused. She had to remember him. "Chilwell. Ben Chilwell."

"Oh, hi Ben." Chilwell wondered if Y/N was smiling as he said that. He would bet he was. The way she spoke his name gave the impression that she sketched a smile.

"Good to know you remember me." It was really good, almost a relief.

"Of course I remember, but I really didn't think you were going to call anymore."

"I'm sorry for the delay." He whined, hoping that wasn't the reason for the misfortune of all his chances.

"It's okay."

"I really wanted to call you, I really wanted to, but I still didn't know quite what to say." He gave a weak laugh, wanting to cut the tense mood, and I could swear Y/N let out a little air through his nose as well. "I get kind of shy sometimes, I didn't want to be a jerk." Ben confessed feeling his hands getting sweaty, he couldn't remember feeling so nervous, even more so talking to a woman he had already slept with once.

"Cute." Maybe she would have given him another smile, but it was what she said next that surprised him. "Well, I went to a Chelsea game last week, I looked for you, but you weren't there. I was thinking of calling you on Instagram, but since you said you were going to call, I was afraid I'd get dumped." Laughter. Ben laughed, too. He would never blow her off.

"Really? Did you look for me?"

"Yes."

Now he was really happy to hear that the interest was not just coming from one party.

"Unfortunately, I'm not playing because of a knee injury," he said.

"That's too bad."

"Yeah, I'll be out for a while longer." He lamented more to himself than to her. It was awful not to be able to play, but at that moment there wasn't much he could do. "But we can still watch. Do you want to go to the next game with me?"

"Sure!" Ben smiled at the speed and excitement Y/N used to answer. "I'd love to."

"Then I'll text you all the details, is that okay?"

"Yes, but only if you promise me you won't disappear again."

"I wouldn't even be crazy."

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell smut #ben chilwell x y/n #ben chilwell oneshot #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell fluffy #ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell one shot #ben chilwell angst #ben chilwell imagines #ben chilwell fic #ben chilwell fanfic #ben chilwell fanfiction #football smut #football fluffy #footballer fanfic #football one shot #football fluff #football angst #football imagines #chelsea imagines #england nt imagines #footballer x reader #my writing: ben chilwell #requests: ben chilwell

[lipringlrh]

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mason mount :

daylight - both you and mason are trying to tell each other how you feel but it doesn’t take long to realise there’s not enough words. lightly based on ‘daylight’ by taylor swift. (800)

i told my mum about you - mason’s not your boyfriend, but he might as well be. Especially if his mum thinks he is. (1.1k)

** i will write for more but if you want me to write for someone not on this list, either ask or send a request but put another driver just in case i won't write for them.

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#footballers x reader #footballer fluff #football x reader #footballer x reader #footballer smut #football smut #football x you #football x y/n #ben chilwell angst #ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell fanfic #ben chilwell x y/n #ben chilwell x you #mason mount fanfic #mason mount fluff #mason mount smut #mason mount x reader #mason mount #masterlist #footballer x you #football imagine #football fanfic #my writing

[oh-saints]

will you ever write ben chilwell again? another story or part 2 of 'steward'? he's so underappreciated in this platform 😭

this has been sitting in my ask box for too long and since i'm in the mood to write something while arsenal's losing badly and since he came back yesterday (!), here's (mini) part 2 of this!

tired

while every student celebrated the end of the exam week with a mandatory party, scarlett had to stay behind to review the essays submitted. ben had to come to the rescue to make sure his favourite teacher assistant didn’t collapse.

ben chilwell x ta!OC

word count: 1.2k

scarlett swore she loved her job, despite the dismal hourly wage she was getting as the professor’s assistant. she liked it because it provided her space to learn more than she’d had known on a constant basis, and it was always refreshing to see another perspective coming from the students.

the only thing she didn’t like was the fact she had to stay behind to review all of the essays submitted by the students by the end of the exam week. she had to clock in more hours than usual because if she didn’t, she wouldn’t get everything in time for the scores to be published. it drained her to no ends, she’d usually see no sun on particular times like these.

she detested this aspect of her job more because it’d mean she wouldn’t have the chance to go and see benji’s home games. with her working like a normal person and him serving matches on the weekend, she promised her best effort to try to catch her boyfriend in action whenever she could before he’d take her out somewhere for their date, depending on the time of his matches.

somehow, they made it work. and scarlett didn’t want her professional life got in the way to ruin things that were finally working out for her—aka the whole romantic relationship part of her life. call her selfish, for all she cared.

although benji had said he understood her inability to support him from the stands this time and would love her to finish her tasks instead so they could spend more time together during the university’s winter break, scarlett couldn’t help but be restless as she watched the game from the streaming platform. both due to the stress of her job and due to the guilt gnawing on her for not being able to watch the game in person. but if she could pick, she’d choose the earlier.

only when the referee blew the final whistle did scarlett relax a bit, enabling her to focus on the papers stacked on her table she needed to tackle soon if she wanted to come home to benji this evening.

the clock displayed on her lock screen miraculously showed it was only a quarter past eleven. so much earlier than what scarlett predicted herself to be done and over with the essays. the TA couldn’t recall the last time she did something in such an insane dash, as if she was avoiding a loose dog trying to have a bit of her arse flesh.

maybe letting out a mad cry while working on the papers furiously was a pretty effective help in confidence boost.

as if her reflex was programmed to order uber at such late hour, scarlett unconsciously pressed shortcut button. gosh, she couldn’t wait to be a sleeping beauty on top of her plush bed. but before she could place her uber order, though, a text from the devil himself grazed the top of her screen.

benji

finished?

one sentence, and scarlett shivered—and certainly not because of the typical london’s windy, wintery weather. did she date a sorcerer or something?

yesss thank god, sent.

and it didn't even take him a second to send his reply

benji

good because look up

scarlett could feel her heart jumped out of the ribcage as she looked up as instructed and found benji really wasn’t lying when he said he was here, now wrapped in the same black prada puffer as the one he wore when they first met, leaning against his car.

the streetlamp shed a warm light to illuminate the slightly pink nose, growing red due to the coldness of the winter, but enough to soften his strong, rough features. scarlett found this side of him more endearing than the sight she saw last week, when he had just come out of barber with fresh trim.

realising scarlett had seen him from afar, benji threw his hand up, the waving gesture slashed the little ice bits pulled by gravity.

scarlett had never known how delighted it was to see a familiar face welcoming you after a good, beaten day of work. she could feel excitement bubbling up in her, making her giggling uncontrollably as she picked up her pace to cross the empty road laid between the two of them.

“what of earth are you doing here?”

although the tone condemning—because she wanted him to rest after playing a full 90 minute—scarlett was grinning from ear to ear in pure glee as the footballer caught her in his arms. nothing beat the feeling of sharing an after-match emotions with the one you love the most because good or bad, they’d always have your back. “waiting for you, silly. what else?”

and scarlett wasn’t going to complain about the arms snaking on the back of her waist, shedding any last border between the two, because it felt right. this was why she came to the home games. “didn’t i say i’ll be long?”

“i know,” scarlett pulled away at benji’s response,eyes scanning him up and down in disbelief that he was here, in front of her, in flesh and blood. “glad i didn’t listen to you.”

“but why—”

“and let you catch a taxi or something? at this hour?” scarlett didn’t even notice benji’s other hand, the one which wasn’t waving to her earlier, held the signature paper cup from the little café down the street. at the sight, she could only gasp and doubt her eyes because fucking hell; she didn’t know she could use a cuppa now after long working hours on a wintery day. “not happening under my watch.”

“wha—”

“i don’t wish to wonder why you like them so much when it’s not even breakfast, but it’s your favourite english breakfast tea.”

as much as scarlett wanted to wipe off that little smirk benji was sporting, she couldn’t hide the fact that she was utterly touched by both the gesture and the thought behind it. even more at the fact that benji did indeed remember the uselessly thrown trivial of hers, one she did out of wanting to fill the silence between them once an eclipse ago.

it was supposed to be her cheering him not far from the sidelines, as she’d promised, but he was taking care of her instead. she, in all honesty, couldn’t believe how a(n un)fateful night in stamford bridge could lead her to this wonderful man, willing to accept her as she was and committed to making her happy, despite knowing her for a (extremely) short while only before taking her into a tango dance together.

“what’s the tears for, my love?”

only when benji’s thumb brushed clean the watermark did she realise she was letting tears escape her eyes. she was genuinely touched by this man and couldn’t put words to describe how much she loved him. fuck those people who say it’s too fast for them.

“i’m just so happy you’re here, benji,” scarlett tried to smile in between the tears that kept falling down, chuckling at how ridiculous she might look like right then but benji was there, every step of the way, cupping her face in his palm like he’d been bestowed a dragon egg; his way of telling his girlfriend he wouldn’t go anywhere. “i—thank you.”

with the way scarlett thanked him, exhaustion written all over her face and body, benji couldn’t help but wrap his arms around her, kissing the top of her head as she relaxed under his touch. “no need, sweetheart. i'm just so proud of you.”

#did you catch the clue i wrote this when i'm swamped with work #anon asks #oh-saints answers #oh-saints writes #ben chilwell #benjamin chilwell #ben chilwell imagines #ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell fic #ben chilwell fanfic #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell x you #ben chilwell x female #ben chilwell angst #ben chilwell smut #ben chilwell blurb #ben chilwell fanfics #ben chilwell request #open request #oh-saints writes request

[babygirlbenji]

For You - Ben Chilwell

a/n not totally happy with this one but the rq has been in my inbox for literal months (i started writing this fic in jan 2022 so it's been a long time coming but shit happened and we live, we move and we vibe!

You had started to feel a little off a couple days before Ben’s match. Just a little runny nose, sore throat and the occasional cough, nothing serious. You were self-medicating and trying to get as much rest as possible, but you could feel it was getting worse. 

Sure enough, the morning of the Brentford match dawned with you feeling absolutely rubbish. Your throat burned, every muscle ached and your temperature had soared overnight. You were pretty much laying in a pool of your own sweat. The sun peering through the blinds made your head pound. 

Ben stirred next to you. 

‘Morning, babe,’ he mumbled. Even in your foggy, sickly state, his morning voice still sent shivers down your spine. 

‘Morning.’ Your voice was a mere croak, and it made him sit up, concerned. 

‘You don’t sound good, darling, are you feeling okay?’ He brought the back of his hand to your forehead. ‘Sweetheart, you’re burning up! Why didn’t you say anything?’ 

‘I didn’t want you to worry, I’ll be ok for the match, I just need some more rest,’ you replied, trying to stand up. Your progress was swiftly halted when the room started to spin before your eyes in a sudden wave of dizziness. 

‘There is absolutely no way you are watching any match anywhere other than from the comfort of the sofa in front of the TV. I’m going to go and make you a peppermint tea and some chicken soup you can heat up for lunch.’ You would have complained, but your lack of energy prevented you from doing so. Besides that, you secretly liked Ben taking care of you. You were normally a very healthy person, rarely getting so much as a cold, so him taking care of you was a treat of some sorts. 

As you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, the sound of Ben rummaging around in the kitchen carried up the stairs to your ears, followed shortly thereafter by the delicious smell of chicken soup. 

Not long after, Ben came back upstairs, armed with Sudafed tablets, a hot water bottle, a mug of peppermint tea and your laptop, which you had left downstairs on the coffee table after doing some uni work. 

‘I feel bad for leaving you like this…’ he admitted as he dropped the essentials on the bed, leaning over to stroke your hair back from your forehead. You shrugged weakly.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll be fine in a couple days. Not as bad as swine flu or laryngitis.’ You couldn’t help but wince at the memory of having swine flu and laryngitis; the two illnesses had got you down less than 18 months apart, and it was the most sick you had ever been. Ben was so worried about you, he called the non-emergency line twice when you had swine flu. 

‘Nothing will ever be as bad as that horrid swine flu. Sure you’ll be ok? Mum is on the end of the phone for anything, Dele and Harry are about 15 minutes away if you need anything, I’ll tell the team what’s going on so if I get a call from you I’ll get subbed off so I can be here…’ You just about had enough energy to giggle and take his hand. 

‘Baby, I am fine. Just a little cold. Go do your job, I’ll be here when you get back.’ He bent down to kiss your forehead, ignoring your protests, before letting you go back to sleep. 

*

When you woke up, you saw that it was just before kick off. You were feeling a little better having had some more sleep, so you kicked back the covers, popped on a hoodie of Ben’s, and shuffled downstairs to watch the game on the TV. 

The team news came through on the Chelsea app, and you were delighted to see that Ben was starting. Even though you knew he wasn’t going to see it until after the match, you sent him a Snapchat of you curled up on the sofa, watching the match. After that, you texted him saying ‘good luck baby, cheering you on as always!!🤍 xx’ 

The match started, but you were only slightly paying attention. Your body had been fighting this horrid cold as hard as it could, and you were exhausted. The match continued and you were only just about able to follow the match in between power naps. 

Just before halftime, however, came the moment both you and Ben had been waiting for all season. 

You sat bolt upright, cheering softly through your croaky voice, as Ben celebrated his goal. The camera zoomed into him, and he made a heart with his hands and pointed at the camera. You sent him a heart back, even though he couldn’t see, and texted him ‘I told you it would come. I am so proud of you. You deserve this! See you soon, I love you🤍’. The halftime coverage started, and you allowed yourself to sit back down on your pillows, basking in the glory of your boyfriend’s goal. You knew it was coming, like you’d said to him in your text, it was just a case of him realising it. 

*

When you awoke next, it was the door closing that stirred you from your slumber. 

‘Darling?’ Ben’s voice was quiet as he padded through the house. You were vaguely aware of him walking over to you, placing a hand on your forehead to check your temperature. ‘You awake, sweetheart?’ 

You fumbled out a tiny ‘yes’, still foggy with sleep and sickness. 

‘Temperature’s gone down, that’s good.’ 

‘You scored.’ He chuckled, knowing you weren’t exactly ‘with it’. 

‘I did, darling, for you.’ Even in your slightly delirious stupor, your cheeks still flushed at his sweet comment. ‘Come on, darling, let’s get you to bed.’ You began to stand up, but soon felt yourself get swooped up into his arms bridal-style, smelling his cologne on his neck as you nuzzled your face into his neck. 

‘Mmm, I missed you,’ you hummed groggily as he carefully manoeuvred you upstairs to your bedroom. 

‘I was only gone for a few hours, darling,’ he chuckled in response. 

‘But when one is sick it feels like much longer.’ Another chuckle left his lips, and you felt him kiss the top of your head. 

‘Does one also go all posh when you get sick?’ You didn’t have enough energy to give him a retort back, just scoffing lightly. 

Ben gently placed you on the bed, pulling the duvet up over you to keep you warm. You heard him in the ensuite next to your room, showering quickly and brushing his teeth. It was oddly comforting to hear him potter about in the bathroom, and by the time he came out of the bathroom, you were nearly fast asleep. 

He turned off the lights, and clambered into bed beside you. 

‘Want a cuddle, gorgeous? Or are you too hot?’ You didn’t have the energy to answer. Instead, you snuggled in close to him. His chest rumbled with a chuckle, an arm finding its way around your shoulders to pull you into his side. ‘Always up for a cuddle, that’s one of the many things I love about you, darling.’ The energy had completely gone, leaving you nothing to reply with. Ben knew, though, that you loved him. You didn’t have to, most of the time. It was in the way you looked at him, the way you went to every match you could even with your busy work schedule, the way you ran up to him after matches with the most radiant smile on your face, the way you always made sure you had a plate of dinner ready for him if it was a late finish… The little things added up, and Ben wasn’t great at maths, but he knew it added up to a whole lot of love from you, and he always made sure you felt it from him. 

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell fic #ben chilwell fanfic #ben chilwell fanfiction #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell imagines #ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell smut #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell x you #ben chilwell x y/n #ben chilwell blurb #ben chilwell angst #chelsea fc #football imagines #footballer imagines #football imagine #premier league #premier league 22/23

[jesssssssssica]

the way i loved you b.c & m.m

ben was perfect.

a gentleman. someone that would laugh at all my stupid jokes and would hold the door open for you.

someone that understands everything i’m saying, someone that makes all your friends feel single and lonely.

he’s just so perfect.

he opens my door and i get in his car and the only words he mutters are “you look perfect tonight”.

i know i couldn’t ask for anything better.

but at the back of my mind is mason.

the mason who would argue with me for hours in the pouring rain and yet we could still passionately kiss each other as if we were two perfect lovers.

the mason who would make me feel like i was sat at the front of rollercoaster, all the highs and lows i would experience with him that would make me curse his name to the heavens above.

the one that would make me so in love that i was on the verge of insanity, but i gave him all the love i had in my body.

ben is wonderful though.

he respects me and my time, never being late to anything and always having time to push everything aside for me and my stupid facetimes.

he’s even charmed my mother, bringing her flowers every time we see them, even if we’re just popping in for something, he’s just that sweet. he even talks with my father about football and how everything’s going, my dad always butting in and joking about how his teams doing better.

i know i should be head over heels in love with ben but i can’t just ignore how much i miss mason.

i miss the screaming and the fighting, the passionate kisses we would share. i miss his stupid laugh and his stupid face. i miss him.

only mason would know, as i sit at the dining table bens hand in mine, that the smile i’m sporting is fake because im not feeling anything, not like how i felt it with mason.

he was so wild and adventurous and crazy and so frustrating and intoxicating and complicated that he was addicting.

because i miss him in a way that i never knew i could.

and that’s the way i loved you.

#ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell #ben chilwell angst #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell x y/n #mason mount #mason mount angst #mason mount x reader #mason mount x y/n #mason mount imagine #mason mount fluff #mason mount blurb #taylor swift imagine #the way i loved you

[neverinadream]

Six Months Apart - Part One

Summary: Y/n Maddison has a deadline to meet and six months in Paris might just help her, but it might just jeopardise her relationship with he brother's best friend.

Pairing: Ben Chilwell x Fem!Reader (Fem!Maddison Reader)

Requested: Nope (Originals Here & Here)

Song Inspo: You're Gonna Go Far - Noah Kahan

Warnings: smau, 18+, minors dni, nsfw, angst, pre-established 'relationship', the reader is james maddison's younger sister, sneaking around, dom!ben x sub!reader, rough!ben, dirty talk, pet names (baby, princess, good girl...), praise, degradation, the reader is called a slut and refers to themselves as a fucktoy, hair pulling, oral (male receiving), mentions of spit, not edited...

Notes: so this is a rewrite/fusion of two old fics (both are already linked above), i've been wanting to rewrite some of my old ben fics so here it is. part two is already planned and i will start writing that once i've finished something else that i've got planned. anyway....did you like it?? feedback is always appreciated!!

y/n_maddison

liked by harper_xo, benchilwell, madders & 45,388 others

y/n_maddison: just found out i'm moving to paris...

view all comments

madders: uh what?!

madders: sorry?!

madders: this is how i find out?!

> y/n_maddison: surprise...

> benchilwell: bro this is how we're all finding out

user578: y/n's writing the sequel in paris???

> y/n_maddison: can neither confirm nor deny this 🤐

harper_xo: i can't believe you're leaving me for six months 🥲

> y/n_maddison: the longest we'll have been apart for 💔

> harper_xo: what will i do without you?! 😭

> y/n_maddison: water my plants??? 👀

> madders: SIX MONTHS?!

user245: why paris?

> y/n_maddison: it's a secret 🤐

> user288: research for the new book, right??? damon promised he would take her to paris one day...

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y/n_maddison's story captioned 'last one for a bit @.madders 🫶🏻'

seen by madders, benchilwell, user468 and 38,899 others

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"Get on your knees."

"Excuse me?"

He brushes his thumb along the seam of your mouth; your lips, soft under the calloused pad of his thumb, parting for him.

"You heard me," he murmurs, two blue orbs fixated on how far back he could push his thumb before you would start to gag. His cock twitches, feeling the first bit of resistance, his thumb covered in spit as you splutter and gag. "What are you waiting for? A please?" He withdraws, wipes it around your mouth, smudging the lipstick you had picked out for today's game. "Get on your fucking knees!"

"But what if someone catches us?"

You feign your concern, sliding your hands down his thighs as you drop to the ground. The family box floor was cold against your knees but it didn't bother you. You had done this in an alleyway beside a nightclub when it had been raining all day and the ground was still damp. The risk of getting caught appealed to you, turning you on more than you would like to admit. It was going to be something you would miss.

You tip your head, meeting his eyes. "Wouldn't be good for either of us."

He hooked his knuckle under your chin, showing you a smug grin. "Really need me to say it?"

Sliding one hand down the front of his shorts, he palmed himself through his briefs. You were beautiful like this, sitting on your knees, large eyes gazing back at him, waiting willingly for his next move. How many times had he had you like this? Too many for him to count. But every time you looked the same. Perfect.

Ben grins as you lick your lips. "Look at you," he hums, stroking your face with his free hand, "just waiting for it, aren't you? Like a good, obedient pup."

"Please, Ben!" You were itching to touch him, to hold his steely length in your hand and wrap you lips around him.

He fists his hand into your hair, wrapping your ponytail around it, and forces you to look at him. "Come on, princess," he tightens his grip making you whimper, "you can do that better than that."

Bending over, he touches his lips against your temple and kisses you. In one breath, he breathes in the scent of your shampoo, a concoction of coconut and vanilla, and squeezes his cock tighter. Six months without that scent was going to be hard.

Against you, he whispers, "Be a good, desperate, little slut and tell me how much you want this hard cock in your mouth."

Without permission, you curl your fingers around the waistband of his shorts and pull them down with one sharp tug, bringing his briefs down with them. His cock springs free, standing to attention, the tip leaking a pearly bead of precum. You lick your lips and moan like you could already taste him.

"Ah," he tuts, shaking his head, "touching me without permission, baby? I'll have to punish you for that later." He knocks your hands away, wrapping his own around his shaft, jerking it a few times to ease some of the ache. Your wild eyes follow his movements, a desperation in them that makes him snicker. "You want it?" He trails it over your lips, teasing you. You flick your tongue out and he shudders. "So beg for it, tell me how much you want it."

"Please, Benji," you whine, opening your mouth, a soft sigh leaving as he sits the crown of his cock against your flattened tongue.

He pushes forward, guiding himself deeper into your mouth, letting your warmth engulf him as you wrap your lips around him. Your tongue swirls around the tip, licking up his precum, and you suck on him with a loud, slightly over dramatic, moan.

"Fuckin' perfect," he grunts, pulling out with a sharp pop, a string of spit still connected between you, "but I'm not satisfied; tell me what you want. Want me to fuck your throat baby?" You nod your head, inching closer on your knees. "So fucking say it!" His tone is harsher, sending a shiver running down your spine. "Tell me you want me to use your throat for the hole that is, to have me slide in and out of that slutty fucking mouth!"

Licking your lips, you break the string of spit, wiping it off your chin. "Use me," you whisper, nuzzling your face against him, your sultry smile pressing into him as he lets out a groan, "fuck my throat right here in my brother's family box - treat me like I'm nothing more than a fucktoy."

"There you go," he grins, gushing praise as he pumps himself a few more times, squeezing his fingers tighter around the tip on every upstroke, "tere's my good, little slut. That wasn't so hard, was it?"

You shake your head. "Can I have it now?"

"Poor, poor Madders," he murmurs, tapping his cock against your cheek, revelling in how you smiled up at him, "doesn't even know how much of a slut his baby sister is - wanting to get her throat fucked in his family box, where anyone could come back and catch us. Are you that desperate that you can't even wait until we're home?"

Your head shakes and your cheeks twitch. "Been thinking about it all day." A glob of spit lands on his cock, your hand jerking it up and down his shaft, adding it to the rest of the mess, before your mouth dips and slurps on his tip. "How are you going to live without this for six months?" You break away and suck on his balls, listening to the guttural groan that rips through him.

"The same thing I used to do," he answers, pulling on your hair, making you look up at him, "just pretend my hand is you." His response makes you smile. "Now, no more playing around," the softness of the moment was gone, "open your mouth and take it like a good girl."

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y/n_maddison

liked by benchilwell, kennedyalexa, harper_xo & 50,289 others

y/n_maddison: alexa play little black dress by one direction

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harper_xo: mommy 🥵

> y/n_maddison: 😏

> harper_xo: i can't believe paris is gonna get all of this for six months 😭

> y/n_maddison: pfft the hot french boys are nothing compared to you 😉

madders: you're wearing the wrong size, right?

> y/n_maddison: no

> madders: then you're at least wearing a coat, right?

> y/n_maddison: no

> madders: i'll bring you a coat

benchilwell: 🥵

>comment deleted<

user357: you're not sneaky, chilly 🤭

> user179: you saw his comment too?

> user539: what comment?

> user357: he commented 🥵 but then quickly deleted it

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Alone outside the restaurant, Ben stepped behind you, wrapping both arms around your waist. "I don't want you to leave," he whispers, too scared to say it any louder.

He buries his face into your neck, drifting his warm lips across your cold skin, the tension releasing from his shoulders as you relax back into his chest. You weren't safe out in the open like this, your brother and the rest of your friends were still in the restaurant, any one of them could come looking for you, but for once you didn't care. Both of you needed this.

"Change your plans," he attempts to persuade you, drifting his mouth higher up your neck, kissing the soft spot behind your ear, "stay here with me."

"I can't-"

"Yes, you can," he mumbles, cutting you off.

"No, Ben, I can't."

Turning to face him, you brush his hair away from his eyes, distracting yourself from the tears that threatened to fall. Of course, you wanted to stay, just thinking about being separated from your friends and family for six months made you want to cry. But you had a deadline to meet, a generous advancement, and a promise that you'd try anything to rid yourself of your writer's block to keep. Even if that meant moving to the location of your next book.

"I'm getting nowhere with my book, they think a change of scenery might do me some good-"

"But fucking Paris?" You wince as he raises his voice and he quickly apologises under his breath. "They couldn't have suggested Cornwall, maybe? Or Manchester?" He rattles off, his voice cracking as his own emotions get the better of him. You watch him tip his head back like it could send his tears back to where they came from. "Why does it have to be another country?"

You brush your thumb lovingly over his beard, your tummy filled with nervous butterflies feeling him leaning into your touch. "It's just France, Benji," you move to cradle his face as he presses his forehead against yours, "not the other side of the world; you can always come visit me."

He gives you a watery smile. "Promise you won't fall for some hot French guy who makes smoking look cool?"

You giggle and wipe his cheeks. "Who needs a hot French guy when I've got myself a sexy English lad with questionable tattoos?"

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Football Taglist: @thoseboysinblue @kickinganddriving @lizzypotter14 @brasiliangp @chilwellspulisic @notsoattractivearenti @swimmingismywholelife @lovelynikol16 @masonsrem @hischierswhore @in-my-body-bag @laurasstufff1 @mountchilly @spicysainz @kathb59 @emcv1427 @gagaslonina @afterpills @pulisicsgirl @ricciardhoe3 @sunflower-tia

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell smut #ben chilwell angst #ben chilwell one shot #ben chilwell smau #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell x y/n

[easemysoul]

Flowers, Part 2: The Break Up - B.C

“If you want me all for yourself, then, darling you probably should go”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you going to say anything?”

Silence. Silence so loud you can hear your heart beating in your chest, as if it’s trying to break free and run away before he breaks it.

“I don’t know.”

One. Two. Three. Four tears fall and slowly slide down your cheek. You don’t know if you should be glad the tears welling in your eyes blurs your sight at the same time he finally looks at you.

The light in his eyes goes out. His eyes are cold and dark. Colder than his heart. Colder than the words he speaks next.

“If you want me all for yourself, then, darling..you probably should go.”

His words hurt more than the silence after you said “I love you.”

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell imagines #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell fic #football fics #football imagines #ben chilwell angst #chelsea fc #chelsea #m writes #my fics: bellinghamilton

[findingnemosworld]

𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐢'𝐦 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 - 𝐛𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥

・𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: @chilwellspulisic

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲'𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐤! 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 :)

The reception party was in full swings after a beautiful ceremony which saw the groom Nate solidify his love for his bride Hayley in front of all their friends and loved ones underneath the beautiful bright skies of Italy, and amongst those in attendance were two individuals that had been trying to avoid one another for the past three years, Y/N and Ben.

Once upon a time, during Ben's days as a Leicester player - the pair were as thick as thieves; so much so that everyone around them had firmly believed that they'd get married one day, only for Ben to up and leave her the minute he received an offer from Chelsea, his claim was that their relationship would hold him back.

And being the prideful woman she is, Y/N had taken that as a sign to cut him off entirely, refusing to answer his calls and messages and going as far as to warn his former Leicester teammate, James Maddison to tell him to stop calling her.

Three years had passed with her dating every now and then, only for the flings to end abruptly or in this case, Y/N refused to admit the real reason every single fling ended.

__

" The venue is lovely! " Her date for the wedding, Daniel comments as they sat down in the reception venue, amongst the numerous crowds who were either drinking or dancing on the floor after the bride and groom danced.

" It is, Nate has great taste " She said with a smile, looking around before her eyes landed on him.

He was sitting at the table across from the table she was sitting in, and next to him was a beautiful brunette she'd come to deduce as his date, the pair were chatting and laughing together when Ben looks up to meet her gaze causing her to immediately look away and try to converse with Daniel, making the effort to appear as though she was enjoying her time with him.

A few minutes later, Daniel excused himself when his phone rang leaving her alone before she made the decision to walk to the bar and grab a drink, once she ordered her drink - she felt someone stand next to her, she turns to find Ben standing there with a smile. " Hey love "

" Benjamin " She replied curtly.

" Oh come on, three years pass and you still hate me " He rolls his eyes.

" That's an understatement, I'm only being curt because I don't want your girlfriend to think you're accessible to anyone " She retorts.

Ben chuckles, " She's not my girlfriend, she's just a friend "

" Hm, I bet you say that to every woman " She laughs, taking a gulp of her drink.

" Even if I did, why does it affect you? " He asks. " Jealous? "

" Me, jealous ... yeah, right " She laughs, " I don't have to be jealous of someone that finds it easy to leave the people they care about and besides, I have a date as well "

" Yeah, Bryan, right? " He said.

" Daniel " She responds with a groan, " A very sweet guy I have been seeing "

Ben shakes his head and says with a sarcastic tone, " So sweet "

" What's wrong Chilwell? Jealous? " She asked with a teasing tone.

Ben grows silent, which causes her to look at him with wide eyes and say. " You are jealous! "

" Can you blame me? " He retorts, " You show up, looking insanely gorgeous with him, when you could have been with - " he trails off.

" Could have been with you " She said.

" Yeah " He whispers.

" Ben, you broke it off, not me " She reminds him.

" I know " He sighs, " But I miss you, a lot ... "

She sighs, she would lie to herself if she said she didn't miss him, there was a reason why her relationships never worked out, " I miss you as well " she murmurs.

The confession caused him to smile, " Maybe when we go back to England, we can talk things out " he said with a hopeful tone.

" Maybe " She said.

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell one shot #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell angst #ben chilwell blurb

[httpsuniverse]

right where you left lover girl [ charles leclerc , ben chilwell ]

[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — charles leclerc x singer!ex!reader ; ben chilwell x singer!reader . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °.   *

[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — mostly angst, some romance . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °.   *

࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ clearing my drafts again 😵‍💫 if you ask me, i’m obsessed with singer!reader fics lol

this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.

cleclercsource

26,929 likes

cleclercsource double date in wimbledon 🎾 charles, alex, kika and pierre spotted in today’s game!

view all 2,719 comments

user alex looks so pretty and i know she’s nice because i met her once, but i miss y/n ☹️

user :(( i do too, but it’s just not meant to be. they both want different things and are in different places in the relationship

user damn why did THAT hurt

user no offense/hate towards alex but the fact that y/n and charles have been together since they were thirteen just...pains me and i’m not even part of their relationship

user me too!! 😭 they literally went through ups and downs together and saw their careers go big :(

user yeah but i hate to break it to you guys but it’s been two years since they broke up and charles being in a new relationship is okay, they’re both adults! i mean, you guys know that eventually they’ll meet somebody, no?

user what pains me the most is that y/n hasn’t released anything since she and charles broke hp 😣💔 i miss my girl

user they look like mean girls

user i would be scared to walk past them

user love how alex is just happy to be there hahaha she’s so cute

yourusername

liked by yourlabel, sabrinacarpenter, selenagomez and 3,286,048 others

yourusername oh hi hello 👋🏻 i know it’s been a while since i’ve last released music and contributed to the industry, and i see everyone’s tweets saying how much they miss me and guess what? i missed you guys too, so here’s a little something for being so patient with me🤎 this song is very personal and important to me and i hope you’ll love it just how i loved writing it. right where you left me is now available to all streaming platforms 🎶

view all 150,837 comments

sabrinacarpenter 🫶 masterpiece

selenagomez proud of you✨😍

user omg y/n!!!

user the queen is back :( welcome back y/n!!

user streaming right NOW

user you cant do this to me y/n y/l/n!!!!!!!

user just got out of a 4-year relationship today, thanks for the masterpiece maam <3

yourusername 🤎 wish you all the best with healing

user OMG

user thanks y/n, now i do have a reason to cry today 😍

yourusername stopp bahahaha enjoyyy

prodbymika

250,297 likes

prodbymika glad to have produced another song and film a music video with my bestie 🫶 here’s some behind the scenes of y/n during recording and filming the music video of right where you left me <3

view all 17,926 comments

yourusername mika my love!!! ☹️🤎 thank youu couldn’t have done it without youuuu 🫶

user wait that place on the 3rd photo is familiar

user it’s charles and y/n’s place from their 24 hour with vogue video 😭

user omfg that’s probably why it’s titled right where you left me 😭

user the 😭 restaurant 😭 she 😭 and 😭 charles 😭 loved 😭

user fuck me im trying to move on 😭

user y/n wearing the same clothes she would wear during date nights with charles 💔☹️

yourprivate

yourprivate i know eventually it will lead to one of us meeting someone new. i hope she’ll love you the way that i did, more than how i loved you, charles. and i can’t believe that it’s been two years since we broke up. in my mind i’m still 23, living in my own delusion that one day you’ll come back to me. i loved you, charles_leclerc. and i still do. i really meant it when i said i wish you both the best. now, it’s time for me to move on and leave the place where you left me.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─────────────────

yourusername

1,926,472 likes

yourusername me doing big girl things 😄 bye bye monaco 🇲🇨, hello london 🇬🇧 ready to make new memories, new songs and of course, new apartment tour video soon :p

view all 1,827 comments

user omggggggg the chances of me running to you are HIGHHHHH

yourusername see you aroundddd <3

user AAAAAAA

user omg omg omg she’s finally out of her delusions, we’re officially over right were you left me era !!!!!!

user she finally let go of the house she and charles shared 😭

user no bc imagine the adjustment!! she lived there even when she and charles broke up :(

user my girl can finally FINALLY breathe

benchilwell

liked by masonmount, reecejames, judebellingham and others

benchilwell you’re my, my, my, my lover 🩷

view all 23,816 comments

jackgrealish mate, that’s so cheesy 😂

reecejames i know something you don’t 🤧

masonmount i know something you will never know 😂

user NAHHHH QUIT PLAYING WITH US

user NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

user cong😭ratu😭lations😭

user now who is the lucky woman 🤔

user wait is that y/n

user what the hell

user i think soo!!!!

user STOP IM GONNA FUCKING CRY RN

yourusername

liked by cmpulisic, reecejames, masonmount, benchilwell and others

yourusername guys meet my london boy 🩷

view all 28,493 comments

benchilwell i told you not to post that picture of me

yourusername 😵‍💫 but you looked so cute and you helped me compose a song

masonmount he did? 😨

yourusername took us a while, but yep 🫡

user im so happy for you y/n!!!!

— ❤️ by yourusername

user why is y/n, a person who loves chinese food, dating a man who hasn’t eaten chinese food

yourusername don’t worry, i bought chinese the other day. he’s no longer chinese food virgin. i took his virginity.

benchilwell y/n y/l/n.

yourusername 😚 you liked it though

benchilwell okay fine yeah

user why do i feel like a new album will come out ...

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, benchilwell, prodbymika and 4,836,917 others

yourusername suprise (well... not so surprise haha) !! been working on this album the past year and it’s finally here and i can’t wait to share it with you guys so HERE YA GO 🩷😚 the whole album is dedicated to, of course, my lover, my benji, benchilwell i love youuuu and this album is my love letter to you (you spoiled the lyrics on your previous post 🙄 but its ok i forgive u now pls come back faster bc i miss u) enjoy everyone ! lover girl, y/n 🩷✨

view all 56,826 comments

benchilwell i love you angel 🩷

yourusername stopp im shy i miss you

benchilwell 😂 im coming over

user y/n in her lover era 🥹 happy for her, she deserves this!

user she really does 🥹

user STOPPP THIS WJOLE ALBUM IS JUST Y/N AND BEN BEING IN LOVENWITH EACH OTHER

user “all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing” BENJAMIN JAMES CHILWELL YOU ONE LUCKY MF

user y/n is SO in love i’m here for it

charles_leclerc congratulations on another amazing album, y/n!

yourusername thank you charles! ����

user HEY WHAT IS MR. RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME DOING HERE

user ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

yourusername we’re still friends guys, chill 😂

sabrinacarpenter YOU ARE AMAZING, Y/N

yourusername SAAAABBBB i love you ,, you are amazing

user from right where you left me to paper rings 🥺 THE GLOW UP

#charles leclerc imagine #ben chilwell imagine #charles leclerc angst #ben chilwell fluff #charles leclerc instagram au #ben chilwell instagram au #f1 imagine #football imagine #f1 fan fic #football fanfic #f1 x you #football x you #f1 x reader #football x reader #formula 1 imagine #football instagram au #f1 instagram au

[lipringlrh]

begging for more ben chilwell on here😭

#i will take requests for him🙏 #ben chilwell #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell angst #footballer x reader #footballers x reader #football x reader

[sunny44]

We don’t like it

Pairing: Dad!Mason Mount x wife!reader

Warnings: nothing I guess

Summary: Where Mason’s wife and daughter didn’t like when he shaved his beard.

Today I decided to do something I didn’t do for a long e time.

Shave my beard.

I’ve always been proud of my beard, It was my personal signature and something he'd nurtured for years.

The thick, well-groomed facial hair had become an integral part of him. Yet, there was one recurring scenario that made me hesitate every time I think of shaving it off - my wife and daughter reaction.

So today as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, razor in my hand, I couldn't help but wonder how the girl’s would react to this. My wife, Y/n, was undoubtedly the most vocal critic.

She claimed that it made me look hot and super attractive so she obviously didn’t like when I shave.

As the shaving foam covered my beard, I remembered the countless times my wife had protest when she sees me without the beard.

My daughter also didn’t like me without it but it was annoying me so much that I could wait any longer to shave it off.

But I had been contemplating this change for a while now. I knew my wife and daughter would initially be surprised, maybe even upset. However, I also believed they would eventually adjust to me with a clean face.

With a deep breath, I began to shave. As the beard disappeared bit by bit, I caught glimpses of my face that I didn’t even remember how it looked since I was with this beard for months.

Once I finished, I examined my clean-shaven face in the mirror and It felt strange, almost as if I had lost a part of myself but it was also liberating in a way I hadn't anticipated.

When I walked into the living room, I was met with a mixed reaction.

My daughter chocked, not sure how to react to this sudden change in her dad's appearance. But my wife, on the other hand, looked surprised but then broke into a smile.

"Wow, you look so different!" she exclaimed.

My daughter Lily got out of my wife’s lap, after a moment of uncertainty she came running to me and I took her in my lap and she began to run her little hands over my face, feeling my face without the beard but with a look of curiosity.

“I don’t like it.” She says after taking of her hand of my face and my wife started laughing.

“What, why?”

“I just don’t like it daddy.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.”

“And what about you babe?”

“Well I didn’t like it either.” She says coming towards us. “You look hot, don’t get me wrong but nothing looks better on you than the beard. And you look so young that people may think your under 18.”

“Oh come on, I don’t look that young.”

“Yes you do Mase, your face used to look like this when we met 7 years.”

“I don’t look like I have 18.”

“Yes you do and you know that.”

“I’ll remember not to shave next time since my two girls hate me.” I said being dramatic and Y/n laughs while my daughter looks scared.

“No, I don’t hate you daddy.” She’s says hugging me tight.

“I know you don’t baby and I love you for that.” I kissed her cheek.

“Well don’t shave it next time please.”

“Yes daddy.” Sebe agree with her mom.

“Okay girls I won’t.” I kissed my wife and we sat on the sofa to watch a movie.

Bonus scene!

Masonmount Instagram stories

“My girls didn’t like me without the beard.”

#ben chilwell #england nt #mason mount gif #mason mount one shot #mason mount fanfic #mason mount fluff #mason mount smut #mason mount blurb #mason mount icons #mason mount imagine #mason mount x reader #mason mount #mason mount instagram au #mason mount request #mason mount angst #mason mount scenarios #mason mount series #mason mount story #mason mount drabble #mason mount x #mason mount x oc #mason mount x you #mason mount x y/n #mason mount concept #mason mount masterlist #manchester united #mm19 #mm7 #england #ben chilwell x y/n