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#bishop aziraphale
theonevoice · 6 months
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Two halves of the same being
Ok friends, it had to happen sooner or later: I wrote a thing. I was stuck in a train station yesterday evening and this thing was screaming to be put on paper, so I did it. I wrote it all down directly as a post, over 3-4 hours of total estrangement, therefore I don't even know exactly how long it is, and it is probably encrusted with typos and titanic grammatical errors. It is also written in a language that I don't master at all, and it is my first attempt at narration since - I kid you not - the year of our lord 2006. This is really less then a draft, it's a test-drive of the storytelling side of my hyperfixated brain. If someone feels like skimming it and pointing out mistakes and things that sound wrong, I will be very grateful! Anyway, as far as fanfic genres go, I guess this would qualify as historical-minisode one shot: Aziraphale and Crowley are in Rome in 1509 and get more or less accidentally involved in the creation of a certain Renaissance masterpiece.
November 1509, Rome.
The heavy robe swooshed quietly as a white-blonde bishop entered the chapel door with a satisfied smile, like a man who had just escaped boredom for fun.
A man in a leather apron full of pockets and stained all over was standing at a cluttered table by the wall, staring gloomily at the figures sketched on a large sheet of brownish paper.
- Maestro!
The man raised his curly dark-haired head and pointed a pair of firey eyes on the newcomer. The dark circles around his eyes gave out the strange impression of a feverish man on the verge of collapsing mixed with a feral beast ready to jump at its prey. It was freezing in there, but he was wearing a shirt with sleeves rolled all the way up to his elbows, and his hairy forearms were covered in white dust and paint dribbles. He was a rather short man, but well-built and muscular, and even if the bishop was considerably taller and not thin himself, he felt that he could have easily knocked him down in one move.
- Monsignor Fell, back again...
The man didn't sound pleased, but he didn't sound displeased either. Considered his well-known temper and given the circumstances, his reaction was relatively welcoming. One could have even called it encouraging. After all, noone was ever really at ease in Rome. Especially not in that part of Rome.
- I was eager to see your progress. - Aziraphale said with a honest smile. - I hope I'm not disturbing your work. Please don't mind my presence.
They both instinctively looked up.
The enormous vault of the Sistine Chapel was looming over the empty hall as a giant shield, halfway covered in massive figures. Those bodies looked so real and heavy that they felt like they could plummet any second all the way down to the floor and crash the unfortunate bystanders. It was like a threatening storm of colors and shapes slowly covering the old starry sky.
- Not much progress to see. - Growled Michelangelo, turning back to the sketches and tossing a piece of reddish chalk on the table. - I'm bloody stuck.
Aziraphale moved his eyes across the ceiling, down to the farthest end of the vault, where the golden stars were still dimly shining on a deep blue background, on the two sides of the large ugly crack, now filled with bricks, that had scarred the old affresco when the south wall had shifted. It was a sad spectacle. He had liked the starry sky. It was beautiful.
- Stuck? How do you mean?
Aziraphale forced himself to look away from the ceiling and gently stared at the painter, who had turned his back on him and was angrily standing over his desk with his stained hands on his hips, like a severe father in front of a misbehaving child.
- I mean stuck. - The artist repeated drily, throwing an annoyed look at monsignor Fell. The bishop offered him a sympathetic smile, a strangely maternal smile that seemed to be saying that he took his worries very seriously but at the same time he was sure they were not insurmountable.
Michelangelo sighed forlornly. He didn't like priests, but he didn't mind this one. He curiously seemed very little concerned with church matters and a lot more interested in random things like paintings and statues and choir rehearsals. He had even spotted him more than once in a couple of his favourite osterie, and he meant the good ones, those small half-hidden godforsaken places that only the locals knew, ignored by travellers and definitely not visited by clergymen. And he had seen him sitting there in plain sight, amidst the common people of Rome, as if noone could tell that he was a bishop - and God knew if bishops were a hatred species in the streets of the Holy City. It was truly a miracle that he could just walk in there, eat and drink like he were any carter or boatman, and not end up robbed or stabbed or poisoned. He had even seen Teresina at the Gatto morto pour him the good wine once, the one that the innkeeper kept only for himself and his closest friends. Furthermore, he had a nice eye for drawing: in the past few weeks he had been visiting the chapel almost daily, and had dropped some genuinely good remarks. Some of them even brilliant. He relaxed his shoulders and continued with a softer tone:
- This is not working and I'm not putting this up there, con tutta la fatica che costa.
Aziraphale looked up again, this time at the wooden structure that was stretching upwards like a dark solid cobweb. It took indeed a lot of effort, to climb up there, dragging along the large cartoni with the refined lineart to transfer on the plaster, standing hours and hours arched backwards to paint over your head, seventy feet above the ground, with the colors running down the brush and dripping on your face...
- Do you mind me seeing the sketch?
The painter made a vague gesture to let him approach the table and eyed him with a certain curiosity when the bishop let out a little gasp and a peculiar nostalgic expression settled on his face. It was the sketch for the campata of the Original Sin.
Aziraphale felt a warm mix of emotions filling his chest, not all of which he dared to name. He focused on the drawing. Michelangelo was right: it was wrong, even if he could not imagine how wrong.
In the sketch, Adam and Eve were sitting at the center, under the Tree, Eve reaching up for a fruit, Adam following her movement with a concerned look. On the right half of the piece, in a stretch of desert, the confused shape of an angel was roughly outlined: he was standing all straight and rigid with his sword raised above his head and a threatening finger pointing at the first humans. The left side was mostly filled with a generic looking garden, too lush and too earthly at the same time, and the only other presence was a little, ugly dragon-like creature, with a grotesque charcoal snut, sharp teeth and a biforcated tongue sticking out.
Aziraphale at first didn't pay it much attention, but after a second he suddenly realised what he was looking at and his jaw dropped.
- Is that supposed to be the Serpent of Eden!?
He asked in a high pitched voiced, sounding somewhat scandalised.
Michelangelo frowned and pulled out his most intimidating look.
- What else should it be?
- But that's not how it looked at all!
The bishop exclaimed, entirely unfazed. "Here it comes," thought to himself the painter, letting out a huff of resigned annoyance, "another punctilious catechist who wants me to stick to some stupid half line in the Bible." But, much to his surprise, monsignor Fell did not bring up any biblical reference. He looked vaguely offended and at the same time, for some reason, deeply amused.
- And how did it look? - Michelangelo asked sarcastically, posing like someone who is interrogating an eyewitness. But the bishop didn't seem to get the hint, and instead answered with a focused face, as he were actually about to recount him old memories.
- Well, it looked... - Aziraphale paused, searching the right word. He found himself suddenly assaulted by a number of adjectives that he had not anticipated. - He looked... - his tongue ended up picking one before his mind had time to evaluate the implications - ...seductive.
- Seductive. - Michelangelo looked at him with an incredulous face and his eyebrows were all the way up to his hairline.
Aziraphale stumbled.
- I mean... He- he was the original tempter... - He tried to regroup. His thoughts were strangely tumbling in his head. - You see, in order to be effective in his... tempting, he couldn't have look like an ugly little monster. - Yes, that was reasonable, it was a logical explanation, just a sensible thing that nobody could disagree on. - He had to look... - but then again, Aziraphale felt a sense of warmth of unclear origin raising to his face, and his voice cracked in a weird way, - ...beautiful. Charming. He had to be so, so fascinating, that you couldn't help listening to him, considering his reasons... I mean, the poor, naive humans, that is. They couldn't help...
His voice trailed off mid sentence. Michelangelo was still staring at him with a certain look, but the words of the bishop were not completely absurd.
- And he didn't crawl. That was not what he was. - He finished with a sort of fond determination.
- You make it sound quite impressive, for the one who damned humanity.
- Oh but he didn't mean to! - Once again, Aziraphale ignored the astonished expression on the other's face. A deep, obscure feeling of injustice was tugging at his soul. He didn't mean to have them damned. It was an overreaction. His voiced lowered ever so slightly, sounding somewhat sad. - From his point of view, he was... freeing them. He was giving them a choice, he didn't force them. He was letting the door of their cage open to see what they would do.
- Does the Pope know that you go around spreading this sort of ideas?
- Pah, what should he know.
They both startled as that last sentence echoed in all its outrageous blasphemy on the high walls. They looked around in the empty chapel tucking their heads between their shoulders, like two kids who had just inadvertently laughed out loud during the silent bit of the mass.
A moment of embarassed silence fell in the room. But the words of monsignor Fell had already stirred the painter's imagination.
- Beautiful, you say... - He repeated, almost speaking to himself, squinting at the left corner of his sketch as a different version of the scene started emerging in his mind. - Not crawly...
The chapel door opened suddenly and a very alarmed young seminarist run inside.
- Monsignor Fell! - He cried. - I've been looking for you everywhere! The assembly started half an hour ago.
- Did it indeed?
The bishop replied, looking like someone who knew perfectly well when the assembly was scheduled and had deliberately made sure to miss it. Michelangelo found himself wondering once more where on earth had they found such a singular minister of the church, who was now tenderly smiling at the seminarist, visibly moved to pity by his distressed expression.
- Well then, I suppose I will be coming right away. - He gave one last look at the sketch as he stepped away from the table. - Thank you for your time, maestro. And forgive me for... - He hesitated, as if trying to free himself from some last string of thought that was keeping him tied there. - ...for my suggestions.
The painter watched the white-blonde head disappear beyond the door that the alarmed seminarist closed after them, and all of a sudden the vast chapel felt colder than it was moments before. In the silence he could hear that it was raining outside. He took a deep breath, felt the freezing air filling his lungs and a shiver running down his spine, but his mind was on fire: an entirely new image was coming to life, one that the pope would probably not appreciate, and that was the best part.
He decided to take the rest of the day off to work on his idea and run to the Gatto morto, where he knew that Teresina would free the little corner table near the fireplace for him, with a light good enough to draw and a wine good enough to keep himself inspired.
- Now that is quite the progress since the last time I saw it!
The man had approached him so silently that Michelangelo almost spilled his jug over the new sketches.
- What are you doing here, Antonio? Aren't you supposed to stay away from the city after the ban? Se ti prendono gli svizzeri ti fanno la festa.
- Oh come on! Do you really think anyone would notice me? - The man threw himself on the chair on the opposite side of the table and crossed his long legs, unwrapping himself from his large black cloak.
- Yes, I do. - He replied, expressively pointing at the man he knew by the name of Antonio, all clad in black, with his exotic smoked spectacles and his bright red hair brushing his shoulders.
Crowley raised his glass with a bright white smile, like he had just been complimented.
- I thought you were in Florence.
- I've just come back from a lovely visit to your dear friend.
- He's not my friend.
Crowley's smile grew even wider, and the painter suddenly felt ashamed and annoied. He had spent the last several years convincing everyone including himself that he did not consider Leonardo his rival, that he was perfectly indifferent to his achievements and was not at all vexed by people talking about him, and it had took all of ten seconds to this man to make him snap without even naming the other one.
- He is making some formidable machinery, these days. Oh, and some really masterful portraits. - His irritating grin was unbearable. - You should see them.
Draining all his will power, Michelangelo managed to keep his mouth shut and focused all his attention back on his new sketches.
- I'm busy, what do you want?
- I've come to see your progress! - Antonio said cheerfully, grabbing his drawings before he could stop him. - Quite impressive, indeed...
His expression became imperceptibly more serious as he was examining the small piece of paper where the painter had sketched a new version of the Original Sin campata. Michelangelo knew that he had not liked the first version: months before, he had come to his shop all swagger and cockiness as always, and after seeing the initial sketch of the Eden had left without saying a word and somehow had earned himself a ban from Rome. Not that it had stopped him from coming back on a whim just to mock him with news of Leonardo's incredible machinery, apparently. And after all, the swiss guard really seemed to ignore him to an impossible degree, as he were invisible. Michelangelo had a certain suspect that Antonio was having an affair or more than one with someone inside the Curia, earning the protection of a dame or two. Or a monsignore or two. Or both, whatever. Now he seemed struck by the new version of the scene.
The sketch was nothing more than a bunch of thick lines on a small piece of paper, but you could make out that the Serpent was no longer on the ground, but wrapped around the Tree, had no monstruous features but a human-like torso, and his head was towering higher than all the other characters in the scene.
Michelangelo watched him staring intentely at the drawing, with an unreadable expression on his face, until he put down the piece of paper with a careful movement.
- You're good, good job. - He said, trying to make it sound casual, but with a weird note in his voice.
- I know I'm good. - The painter said, grabbing the drawing angrily. - But this change is throwing off the entire composition. Now I have three characters in the middle and this one over here. - He muttered, pointing all disgruntled at what was supposed to be the Angel of Eden, who was sadly standing alone on the right side of the image like a piece of a column that someone had built there by mistake. A tentative detail of his profile, stern and scowling, was sketched sideways on the margin of the sheet.
- Why did you draw him so angry?
Michelangelo raised his head from his composition puzzle, not quite understanding what Antonio was talking about, until he saw his finger tapping over the profile.
- He's the Angel. - He said with a tone indicating that the implication was obvious. But the man sitting in front of him didn't seem to get the point. - He's the Angel who delivers the fucking wrath of God. He has to look angry!
- No he doesn't!
The painter straightened up in disbelief. What was with everyone that day? Why did every last person in that damn city had opinions on his work, all of a sudden?
- Oh sorry, should I make him all cheerful and smiling?
- Why would he be smiling?
- And what would he be?
Antonio took a second, and then aswered, deadly serious.
- Heartbroken.
- Why heartbroken?
- Because! - Crowley was not sure how to explain it, but he felt outraged at the idea that in all those century mankind had assumed the Angel was angry that day. - Because he was the Angel assigned to guard the garden of Eden, the first living bit of the creation! They left him there alone, to watch over the first humans, didn't give him istructions! Didn't tell him what to expect! And then he blinks and bam! they're damned, out of the garden, off you go struggling and suffering, you and all your kind for the rest of time!
Michelangelo was staring at him in utter surprise. He had known him for the kind of man who never loses his cool, and now here he was, losing it over the Book of Genesis.
- You didn't strike me as a man who would get heated over some biblical minutia.
Crowley leaned foreward, gripping his jug of wine so tightly that the painter could have sworn that he heard the glazed ceramic handle made a worrying crackling noise. The painter felt the instinctive urge to pull back on his chair.
- He was there, you see? Watching it happen, struggling to understand wether he had failed them or it was all part of God's blasting ineffable plan.
- He's the Angel of Eden! He would know the will of God!
- How would he know? - Crowley rebutted, now visibly enraged. - He's just an angel! And God doesn't speak to anyone. He's just an angel, he was there alone, scared to death... - he paused for a moment, like he had been struck by his own words, - scared to death because they were punishing the humans and making him deliver the sentence, but maybe they would punish him as well... for letting the Serpent get in.
He ended the sentence on a broken tone, and immediately after draw a small breath and gulped down his wine, all in one go.
Michelangelo wasn't sure what to make of it. Antonio didn't seem drunk, but that had been a wild rant. And yet, it could be interesting to draw an Angel of Eden that was not, for once, the usual severe messanger of death burning with God's divine rage, but a sad, sorrowful pal who had messed up his job. He thought of the merciful expression of monsignor Fell, earlier that day, when he had looked at the poor seminarist knowing that he had possibly gotten both of them into trouble by skipping the assembly.
Now he was starting to resent his composition, leaving that forlorn Angel out there, all on his own, while the others were grouped together under the Tree, as if they were having a pick nick. The humans and the tempter...
- The poor, naive humans... - he muttered, repeating the bishop's words.
- Well, - Crowley objected, apparently back to his usual composure, but still with an indefinible shadow on his brow, - they were naive only at the beginning. But after they became quite quickly aware of how the world runs.
- Well too bad, it has to be one or the other, I don't have two squares for the Eden scene.
But as he was saying that, a new image clicked in his mind, and he stared down at the piece of paper that he had been torturing for the past several hours, trying to solve his composition issue. The Tree was there, dead-center on the campata, dividing the space in two perfectly symmetrical spaces. The Serpent was already up there, in the branches: he could put the Angel there as well, and make the time flow from left to right, from happy but naive humans to desperate but aware ones, the two emissaries of Good and Evil standing in the middle as the two-faced needle on the scales of human destiny... no, not of Good and Evil, rather of Law and Chaos, of Safety and Freedom.
He raised his head with excitement and looked at the man in front of him. He was now sitting inhumanly still, and somehow Michelangelo could feel his eyes piercing through the smoked spectacles. He froze.
- Oh I know that glare. - Antonio said with a voice that he had never heard him before, a ghostly whisper, almost a hiss coming from another world. - That shine that sometimes burns in the human eyes, a spark from the forge of Creation itself...
Michelangelo felt an icey feeling gripping him from the inside, but he could not look away. He was hypnotised by invisible eyes, and even if the physical body of the man in black was still perfectly motionless, for a moment he believed he could see a different body, in a different shape, slowly swinging side to side with only his head fixed in the same spot, yellow pupils cutting through his soul like sharp knives through warm butter.
He wasn't sure how it had stopped. Next thing he knew, he was staring at Antonio who was looking at his drawings again, absorbed in his thought, with a sort of distant nostalgia in the curve of his mouth.
- I shall go. - Michelangelo said with a husky voice, as if he had been asleep for a long time. But he didn't get up.
- You shall. - Crowley repeated, looking back at him, this time with nothing strange happening. - That was a lot of inspiration to process for a human in just one day.
He launched his lanky body out of the chair with a movement that didn't seem possible, draped himself back in his heavy cloak, gave him a quick last look, and strode away, the light of the fireplace caught in his bright red hair. It was still raining outside, but there was a promise of snow in the air.
July 1510, Rome
The two corner doors of the antechamber opened at the exact same time and two hurrying figures rushed in and stopped just a split second away from running into each other.
For a moment they stood there, staring at each other, locked in place, the hem of the white robe and the flap of the black cloack swirling happily together like two puppies eager to meet again despite their owners.
- Good Lord!
Aziraphale gasped, finally stepping away from Crowley.
- Ah! What in Hell are you doing in here, dressed like that? - The demon snorted with a mocking grin, moving his gaze down Aziraphale's episcopal outfit and back up again, lingering on all the lacy bits with the most overtly suggestive motion he could perform. The short black capelet made a rather dashing contrast with the fair curls.
- I am on a diplomatic assignment. - The angel answered primly, ever so slightly blushing at the base of his neck, looking in turn at Crowley's tight fitting black attire under the cloak, all velvet and metalwork and shiny damasque. And then he lowered his voice and added, in a deliciously indignant tone, - What are you doing in here? We are on consecrated ground!
- Not quite yet. This is only an entryway and you should know damn well that nobody here is saint enough to make a single tile sacred outside the chapel.
Aziraphale tried to hoist an outraged expression, but it was hard to pretend that he didn't actually know damn well Crowley was right.
- Anyway, - the demon continued looking at the door on the other side of the entryway, - I was just passing by to take a look at the famous ceiling.
- It's not completed yet. - Aziraphale pointed out, immediately regretting it. He caught himself thinking that he didn't actually want the demon to leave. Not that he wanted his company, of course. But it would have been unpolite, with him being in the hosting party, so to speak, to send him away like that.
- I know, but I hear the last bit has made quite the impression around here.
- It has indeed! - The angel exclaimed, smiling and muffling his excited voice in a goofy way that made something twitch somewhere in the demon's chest. - The cardinals were utterly scandalised! I was going to take a look myself!
The angel moved to the door of the chapel and opened it cautiously, peeking inside.
- There's noone in there! - He whispered visibly thrilled, like the silliest conspirator who ever lived. Crowley stepped closer, thinking to himself that there was no end to the angel's childlike enjoyment of those little innocent transgressions. Not that he enjoied them too, of course. But it would be unworthy of a demon not to appreciate such evil deeds.
They both peeked out from behind the door. The chapel was empty, pleasantly crisp in contrast with the hot roman summer. A choir of cicadas was relentlessly chirping outside. The wooden structure had moved foreward since the last time Aziraphale had been there. A giant curtain was draped between the already completed campate and the ones still in progress.
Crowley managed to chart himself a path across the room, using the spare planks left on the ground as safe spots, holding his arms out to keep his balance, jumping from one board to the next and taking only a couple of quick steps on the floor when the distance was too great. Aziraphale was observing his movements from the corner of his eye and thought the demon looked like one of those large water birds that you could see flying by the river during winter, so big and yet so light and graceful.
The new part of the ceiling was hidden by the curtain. Without saying a word, they both moved to the ladder on the side of the wooden structure and climbed almost all the way up to the top. A strange expectant silence had fallen between them, and neither of the two wanted to break it. They knew exactly what they were about to see, but for some reason they were both pretending that they didn't, and the higher they climbed, the more they were steering their thoughts away from a certain shared memory that now, all of a sudden, was becoming inexplicably significant. A moment that had always been there, tucked away in their minds, but now seemed too bright to look at, too hot to touch, too heavy to handle.
They finally reached the main platform, the last large surface before the precarious scaffolding that brought the painter in reach of the ceiling, all still cluttered with buckets and rags and dried out palettes.
They stood by each other, breathing in the pungent smell of the paint, and with a synchronized movement looked up.
There it was. There they were. Their first meeting on Earth, as Michelangelo had envisioned it, channeling what the angel and the demon, unbeknownst to each other, had unintentionally lead him to imagine. He had turned the Original Sin into a backdrop, Adam and Eve into little more than extras on scene, leaving the center stage to them.
There it was. Their very first meeting as they, a recalcitrant demon who didn't mean to do anything properly bad and a doubtful angel who couldn't figure out what God wanted him to do. They were emerging from the Tree, the Wily Old Serpent stretching his beautiful androginous torso to the left, no man nor woman but both, passing Eve a fruit; the Angel of the Eastern Gate floating next to him, holding his arm out to the right, a disheartened look on his face as he used his sword not so much to threaten the humans as to direct them toward their earthly new existence.
- Look at you! - The angel smiled, - You're...
But the words died on his lips and he couldn't finish the sentence. Something heavy and mournful was tied to that part of his memory, like an iron anchor holding it under the surface of his conscience.
Aziraphale focused on the affresco, trying to distract himself with shapes and contours and brushstrokes... he felt a sudden burst of heat burning the skin of his face as he was studying the Serpent's coils spiraling up the Tree, and was startled when the demon spoke.
- He did make you sad.
The angel examined his supposed representation.
- I was sad.
- Yes, I remember.
- I felt so bad... so guilty...
Aziraphale felt Crowley's gaze settling on his face and lowered his eyes, feeling slightly overwhelmed.
- Guilty? Why? - The demon asked, with a hint of wonder in his voice.
The angels shrugged, twisting his hands and biting his lips with a tormented expression on his face.
- Because they were being punished, but I was the one who had failed them. - He looked up at the picture, but he was looking past it, rewatching a different scene. - And... and... - His eyes started stinging and watering, the effect of all that fresh paint no doubt, - And... had I spoken up for them...
He suddenly turned to look at Crowley, who was staring at him with his golden eyes wide open.
- They were only being curious... - the angel pleaded, and the effect of that paint was really terrible because an entire teardrop rolled down his cheek as he was speaking. - They only wanted to know things. And I let them be cast out and didn't say anything. - He took a short breath and his voice came out thin as a whisper - How will I be forgiven?
Crowley stood there without breathing, transfixed. His brain was struggling to process the angel's discourse, that pain for the humans, for their fault and their fall, and beyond that another pain, older, deeper, bleeding through his words like ink through thin paper. But the pain on the surface was easier to grasp and the other one was tangled in too many frightful thoughts, so the demon pretended that he had only caught the human part of that lament.
- I was the one who tempted them into that. - He said quietly after a moment of silence that could have lasted a second or a century. He felt like he was slightly suffocating. That paint smell truly was unbearable. It was even making his voice crack. - Do you still hate me?
A shocked expression darkened Aziraphale's face, and something behind his blue eyes seemed to crumble. There had to be a cloud hiding the sun, right in that moment, because up there under the vault the air became suddenly darker and colder.
- I never hated you. - He murmured. And then, with a wounded tone, - How could you think that?
The cloud moved away.
- It was my fault.
- I don't think it was.
They stood in silence again, and their confusion was so deep that a moment later none of them was able to tell anymore who had said "It was my fault" and who had replied "I don't think it was".
- We should get down, this smell is making me hazy. - Said the angel, sniffling.
- Yeah, this was enough church attending for me.
- Would you like... - Aziraphale paused, suddenly interested in a dented tin bucket who was draining all his attention, - Would you like to have lunch? I know a place.
Crowley opened his mouth and closed it again without making any sound, then opened it again and let out a couple of stumbling syllables before finally managing: - Well, I don't suppose that would hurt.
They exchanged a hesitant look and turned their eyes up at the two towering figures in the Garden of Eden one last time.
Michelangelo had given them two identical faces, the identical hair color, a shade that had been mixed somewhere in between a pale blonde and a bright red, and had put them up there, looking in opposite way but close to each other, almost hugging - the right arm of the angel almost around the serpent's waist, the right arm of the serpent almost around the angel's neck - as if they were twins, or lovers, or rather the two heads of the same chimerical creature. Two halves of the same being.
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lineffability · 7 months
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here have another
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Random yet ineffable fun fact of the day:
A scene from the film, The Bishop’s Wife, inspired a cut scene from Good Omens.
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The basic premise of The Bishop's Wife (1947) is about an angel who helps a bishop with his problems.
The film was adapted by Leonardo Bercovici and Robert E. Sherwood from the 1928 novel of the same name by Robert Nathan.
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Link to the post.
I compiled both scenes in this video so you can see the comparison. I do recommend watching the entire film though!
And some more interesting trivia:
Originally Cary Grant played the bishop and David Niven the angel. When original director William A. Seiter left the film, Henry Koster replaced him and viewed what had been shot so far. He realized that the two were in the wrong roles. It took some convincing because Grant wanted the title role of the Bishop. He eventually accepted the change and his role as the angel was one of the most widely praised of his career.
Does that remind you of anything related to the casting roles in Good Omens? 🤓 History repeats itself.
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plumbum-art · 8 months
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Regarding this post.
I think I did come to a conclusion regarding this whole bishop!Aziraphale mess.
There could be a thousand reasons, why he was a bishop. Could be curiosity in human religion, could be his roleplay hobby showing, could be for a mission and so on. I don't think he was lying here. As far as we know, Aziraphale takes his jobs very seriously. He wouldn't do anything half-heartedly (for example: learning french the hard way or insisting to take a driving test, although he doesn't need one).
My personal hc is, that it was a disguise for a mission.
But let me explain.
So Neil did mention a scrapped “15th century papal” minisode for S2. This could refer to a lot of things of course. For my hc I'm choosing the following event.
At the beginning of the 15th century there was a split within the catholic church, also known as the Papal Schism. Long story short, there where three rival popes (Pope Gregory XII in Rome, Pope Benedict XIII in Avignon and Pope John XXIII in Pisa), who claimed to be the rightful head of the catholic church. The increasing secularization of the church in general was a problem too.
So to unite the catholic church again, a council was held (also known as the Council of Constance) to decide, which pope was the rightful one. The whole council was a single chaotic mess. The only pope, who showed up, secrectly fled again and was later put in jail. The other two didn't even appear and also disqualified themselves so to speak. Finally in 1417, three years after the council started, the joint Pope Martin V. was elected, which ended the schism.
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Just some bishops and cardinals chilling together, debating with Pope John XXIII.
Anyway my point is, the council was attended by a large number of cardinals, abbots, bishops and archbishops from different nations, such as England, Germany, France, Italy, Poland, Hungary, Scandinavia, etc. One can imagine the council as some kind of medieval Wacken, the biggest party at this time with emperors, nobles, peasents, handyman, merchants and generally thousands of people from all around the world, who gathered in the small city of Constance.
It would be easy for a certain angel to dive in the mass and disguise as a bishop. Why? Maybe he got a strong word from Up ("Hey Aziraphale, what's going on with Gods representative on earth? Humans make a mockery of Her ineffability!" "Um, it gotten a bit out of hand, yeah." "Sort this out immediately!" "As you wish...")
So Aziraphale thought of a plan and attended the council as a bishop to make sure that this time a righteous person would be chosen as Pope. After the election though he was quick to get rid of his regalia. Human religion didn't fit what he envisioned and he decided that angels shouldn't meddle with it.
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ineffectualbookseller · 9 months
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Folks in the little village in the south downs overhearing snippets of conversations about how Aziraphale abandoned heaven for Crowley and about how he would have had the top job directly under God and the prevailing rumor around town becomes that Aziraphale was a Cardinal being primed to be the next Pope until Corwley seduced him
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lickthecowhappy · 14 days
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Ineffable May - Day 9
Turtleneck
Crowley remembers many of Aziraphale's fashion choices.
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Starched collars, ruffs, gorget, and lace  Frills and silks and heels and grace Tunics or robes, toga with sandals Mitre, alb, cassock, rectorial scandals Trousers, waistcoat, tartan bow tie Beige overcoat somehow drawing my eye I dress all in black to keep myself discreet  but I'll wear a turtleneck for you, as a treat
Ineffable May Repository | Day 8 | Day 10
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sebbys-mama · 3 months
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"There is more pain in love than we could find in hate."
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jinxxfrogdad · 10 months
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fall out boy x ineffable husbands
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pocketrabi · 7 months
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The ineffable urge to draw Aziraphale as a Bishop
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ineffable-suffering · 9 months
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okay, so i'm probably not the first person to spot this but i haven't seen it on my TL yet so i'll just chuck it on here: i noticed this little easter egg we get when furfur is reading from his demonic guide for angelic beings (or whatever it's called).
please forgive the horrendous quality, as it's pretty blurred in the shot and amazon prime won't allow screenshots, BUT: if you squint really hard, you can read a few things!
so, this is clearly the page about aziraphale and first of all: i love the notes that furfur scribbled in there, probably only mere seconds ago when he watched azi perform at the theatre, since it literally says "TERRIBLE MAGISHUN" unterneath aziraphale's occuptation, lmao.
i can't fully make out his note on crowley where he circled his name, but the one written across vertically on the side of the page says something like "CROWLEY IS SUSPICIOUS" and, possibly, "HIS HAIR IS BAD" or "RED".
i think the part i love most though, and am REALLY hoping we might get a glimpse of, is that aziraphale, in between being the White Night back in Wessex and becoming a bookseller, was apparently a "Garden Desi(g)ner" and a "Bishop".
makes me think of the time azi pretended to be the american ambassador's gardener back in S1 when him and crowley were trying to influence warlock to (not) become the antichrist.
anyway, that's all i can make out. gave me a good giggle!
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fuckyeahgoodomens · 3 months
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DEMON'S GUIDE to ANGELIC BEINGS who WALK the EARTH
HASTUR’S FURFUR’S COPY DO NOT REMOVE
(the end of the entry for the previous angel:) On sighting: TORMENT An easy target, any demon who does not proceed to aggravate said angel in execessive quantities will be PUNISHED with full diabolical force.
******
AZIRAPHALE
Principality. Angel of the Eastern Gate.
Appearance: Fair hair. Suspishus Ears. Plum hands. Replusively soft (underlined by a pencil several times). Can genrully be found wearing various shades of loathsome beige. Occasional spectacles.
Stationed: Land of the Angles, Hemisphere of the West & North.
Residunce: Angelic Embassy X also known as AZ Fell & Co, 105 Whickber Street, London.
Known Earthly Occupations: Guard of Eden, Music Tyooter, White Knight, Garden Deziner, Bishop, Bookseller. (written by a pencil: +TERRIBLE MAGISHUN)
Weaponry: Flaming Sord.
On sighting: AVVOID A wily opponent, this demon smiter must be warily approached. Report any interactions to the demon Crowley. (the word 'Crowley' is circled and underlined several times by a pencil + note: CHANGED HIS NAME? YUCK!)
A NOTE BY A PENCIL SAYING: CROWLEY IS SUSPISHUS! DON'T TRUST HIM! HIS HAIR IS BAD!
******
BARAQIEL
Dominion. Angel of the Sky.
Appearance: Hair an eye-burning jinnjer. Eyebrows with the appearance of a grisly slug. Often draped in red. Occashunly damp, most likely singed.
Fun fact:
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noneorother · 25 days
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I bought Aziraphale's Bible so you don't have to.
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Am I insane? Yes. Was it worth it? Maybe. In most* of both season 1 and season 2 of GO, there's a very specific Bible on a bookstand next to Aziraphale's desk. It's a vintage illustrated plate book by Harold Copping, known as the Harold Copping Bible, published by the religious tract society in London in 1910. It features some of the most well known Old Testament stories, summarized and annotated by the Bishop of Durham at the time, and illustrated by Copping, who was freshly returned from a sojourn in the middle east. Ironically, It was meant as a lay-person's version of a comic book, short, exciting by use of exotic illustrations, and easy to read.
But my (expensive) gain is now your gain! As I've collected here every visible page in both seasons for your reading and viewing pleasure.
Season 1: All episodes Adam & Eve Genesis iii (1:3) / HCB page 10
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Season 2: Episode 1 Joseph known to his brethren Genesis xlv (1:45) / HCB Page 28
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S2E1 14:21, S2E1 17:41, S2E1 39:45
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Season 2: Episode 2 Jacob's vow Genesis xxviii (1:28) / HCB Page 22
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S2E2 5:49
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Season 2: Episode 2 Joseph known to his brethren Genesis xlv (1:45) / HCB Page 28
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S2E2 13:38 (see S2E1 above)
Season 2: Episode 2 The Brazen Serpent Numbers xxi (4:21) / HCB page 36
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S2E2 16:12, 43:40
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Season 2: Episode 2* Bible on the desk, Magazine on the stand Annuel L'art Pour Tous, Cover (1861-1880 most likely)
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S2E2 22:10
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The French L'art pour tous industrial design periodical will have to be a story for another post. For now, just enjoy this 1880 edition copperplate of cherubs discovering a microscope...
Season 2: Episode 2 Imaginary page from HCB, Job KJV Job (18:1) / HCB N/A
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S2E2 22:29, S2E2 40:05 Obviously, the plate illustrations and text look different here than in the real bible, because they were created for the show. But there are a few more particularities here. For one, this layout with the thin grid around the text, as well as the paragraph symbol next to the first title, indicate that this would have been a printer's proof copy, not a finished book. It shows you the layout grid and can be annotated for changes. Second, there seems to be a war going on between fonts. Where the "chapter" of Job begins, we get a font and a style similar to the original bible, which gets rudely interrupted by a dropped capital (from the real book) and a Gothic-style font/verse numbers like in the original King James version of the printed Bible.
Season 2: Episode 3 The Brazen Serpent NUMBERS xxi (4:21) / HCB page 36
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S2E3 1:18 (see episode 2)
Season 2: Episode 5 By the Rivers of Babylon Pslam cxxxvii (19:137) / HCB page 52
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S2E5 21:20
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Season 2: Episode 6 Bible missing, L'art pour Tous on the stand Annuel L'art Pour Tous, Cover (1861-1880 most likely)
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S2E6 10:21, 17:21, 18:15, 34:28 (see episode 2)
Season 2: Episode 6 Closed HCB, L'art pour Tous on the stand behind HCB page 0
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S2E6 37:58, 44:20, 48:08
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lineffability · 6 months
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wait so now that I got the smut fic out of my system/rotation...is it Meanwhile time again?
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bea-n-art · 2 months
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Bishop Fell
"There are so many creative portraits of Crowley but not enough of Aziraphale on his own, something I am guilty of as well. So when I came across the trivia that Aziraphale was a Bishop at some point I had to draw him as such."
This image is available as a print: https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/beanart
Or join my free Ko-Fi community for updates and sneak peeks and sketches: https://ko-fi.com/beanart
I am also on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beatenossart
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plumbum-art · 9 months
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I can't get over Aziraphales entry in Furfurs Book of Angels. I have so many questions... his "earthly occupations" for example. Like, someday prior to the bookshop opening he was a fucking bishop?? What's the story to that?? Crowley probably took one look at him and laughed his ass of for about a week or so. Aziraphale blushes mumbling something like wellintheorythisseemedlikeaagoodidea and immediatly retires. And then his other "jobs": when was he a music tuitor, what did he teach? Does he have a beautiful (angelic haha) singing voice or does he play an instrument and what instrument? Was he a garden designer at Versailles? Is that the reason he was in France in the first place, enjoying the posh lifestyle, taking french lessons with Monsieur Nightingale and risking his head for crepes?? Gosh, this angel is a desaster (in a good way)
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Today on this scene inspired this other scene in Good Omens:
We have The Time Machine (1960) and The Book (episode 2 of season 1).
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General plot of the film:
Time Machine is a 1960 American period post-apocalyptic science fiction film based on the 1895 novella of the same name by H. G. Wells. It was produced and directed by George Pal, and stars Rod Taylor, Yvette Mimieux, and Alan Young. The story is set in Victorian England and follows an inventor who constructs a machine that enables him to travel into the distant future. Once there, he discovers that mankind's descendants have divided into two species, the passive, childlike, and vegetarian Eloi and the underground-dwelling Morlocks, who feed on the Eloi.
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Sadly I cannot link the original tweet anymore because Douglas’ account is no longer there. But I did screenshot it beforehand.
Here is a side by side comparison of the scene in the film that inspired that scene of Aziraphale reading the book and “the cocoa doth [grew]cold”.
Pay special attention to how things move outside of the windows! That is the most important bit. And of course the relation to time and how the person doing the action is almost static, whereas all around is rapidly changing.
Film trivia:
When George's guests leave for their New Years activities, it is clearly daylight. The clocks in the room said 6:05 pm. Sunset in London on December 31, 1899 was at 4:01 pm. It would have been dark outside. (This is when he is first trying his machine).
Luckily in Good Omens when Aziraphale dashes back into the bookshop, it is dark outside and thus finishes reading when it is light again.
For another this scene inspired this scene: about The Bishop’s wife.
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