#blame fiona apple ok

[violetgauze]

every day i just keep coming up with more and more ideas for ofmd fics that 99% of the fandom would absolutely despite me for

#latest idea is edstede divorce fic where they just break up and then move on #million fics where characters realise they're aro and then break up in my tags #i'm gonna come into your fandom and make so many fics of your favourite ships realising they don't want to be together and breaking up #blame fiona apple ok #ofmd #fanfic

[bazzybelle]

Magical Equality Within The World of Mages

I’ve been thinking a lot since I finished reading Any Way The Wind Blows, and there are SO many things that I still need to process. I took my time with reading it, I’ve listened to the audiobook and I plan on re-reading it several times, once I move into my new house and have THAT stress done and over with. I cannot wait to re-read it on my back porch with some iced tea and a notebook to annotate and comment on pretty much everything that gave me feelings.

But for now, there is one massive issue that I want to address, and it plays into the plot for all three books.

Warning for those who have not read Any Way The Wind Blows, this post contains spoilers, so proceed with caution. I am tagging this appropriately, but adding an extra warning just in case.

Huge thanks to @carryonsimoncarryonbaz for reading this over and making sure I didn't sound like a rambling mess.

The World of Mages is an incredibly toxic place! This is especially true for anyone who isn’t a magical powerhouse, or stupid rich.

I’m going to not focus on the obvious socio-economic bullshit, because I’m not familiar enough with the British class system to properly comment on it. But if anyone wants to add onto this with a whole meta like that, please do so!

Instead, I’m going to focus on magic use and how detrimental it can be to grow up in this world if you aren’t one of the few who are blessed with the RIGHT kind of magic (I say right kind of magic for a reason, and I’m going to come back to that). I want to focus my attention on three characters (two of whom were drawn into Smith-Richard’s fake promises, and one who was just fed up with it all): Martin Bunce, Daphne Grimm, and Agatha Wellbelove.

1) Martin Bunce: We first hear about Martin Bunce in Carry On. He’s Penny’s dad, a renowned scholar and is leading a team researching the effects of the Insidious Humdrum. He’s a highly respected individual, in his own right. Penny adores him, she only speaks his praises, and I get the feeling she gets along better with Martin, then she does with Mitali. When Penny needs help with Shep’s curse, she trusts her dad to help her after her mother flat out refuses.

While Martin is respected in the community, he isn’t a magical powerhouse. In fact, he isn’t very powerful at all. Baz makes a cheeky little comment about how he must have come from mundanity with a name like “Bunce”, and he doesn’t teach any magical classes at Watford, he focuses mainly on Linguistics.

Professor Bunce is one of the people taken in by Smith-Richard’s message, and I’m kind of glad he is. It shows that Smith-Richard’s message can reach anyone, even someone as scholarly and learned as Martin. Martin Bunce is intelligent, loving, devoted, and the apple of his family’s eye. But, when push comes to shove, all that does not matter because in the end, he isn’t as magically powerful as his wife and kids. How many times has Martin been compared to his wife? How many times has he been compared to his kids? What was it like going to Watford and having to hear about how you barely scraped by in the magical classes? His whole family is obsessed with magic, his daughter's best friend is the Most Powerful Mage. Martin is constantly surrounded by people making comments about power and magic and being strong enough as a magician.

That stuff stays with you... So when you see someone performing magic that can pull you to your full potential, of COURSE you grab onto it and hope that it’s a real thing.

Something interesting to note here; Towards the end of AWTWB, Martin casts a drinking spell, and Baz makes a comment about anyone who could cast that spell in quick succession doesn’t need a power-up. Now, was Martin truly not powerful, or did he just not have the right type of magic? Could he have been a better magician if he was able to find the right situations where his magic responded better? If he was allowed to learn in a way where his magic could have reached its full potential, without the use of a horrible curse?

I have a teaching background, and I’ve worked with a lot of kids in Inclusive Education. I’ve had to differentiate practically all of my lesson plans so that all the kids in my classroom would understand the lesson and be able to reach the goals outlined for them. Admittedly, it’s been a while since I’ve taught, but I look at stuff like this in the World of Mages and my teaching ear perks up.

2) Agatha Wellbelove: Another person who comes to mind, especially with not having the right kind of magic is Agatha Wellbelove. Agatha does not see herself as a very strong magician. She tells Simon that magic for her is like holding a muscle. Pair that up with a mother who is OBSESSED with magic and power and who’s got the most power, and which magical matches will bring about powerful children, and you get someone who becomes resentful of the whole effing thing! I’m not even going to touch the whole “dating the Chosen One” thing because that’s a whole other can of worms.

When we first meet Agatha, she’s already fed up with magic, and wants nothing to do with it, and I can’t say I blame her. She spends all of Wayward Son running away from magic, and meandering through life, being still so unsure of herself and of her place in the world. She calls herself a poor excuse for a magician, yet she manages to save both herself and Penny from the NowNext by summoning fire! That’s a huge flipping deal! Not everyone can do that, yet Agatha is able to summon the power inside herself to do so! Imagine the wonderful magic she could have done if she was taught in a way that spoke to her.

In AWTWB, she is the ONLY person who is able to get through to the Goats. Her magic seems to be connected to nature (if I had to guess). The Dryad, all the way back in Carry On, tells Simon that she and the others find Agatha “peaceful”. That’s her magic. Agatha was able to come full circle by finding peace with the magic she has. She was able to find a place for it. What’s sad is that she felt the need to run away and not want to have it in her life anymore. Her magic is beautiful, yet not enough.

3) Daphne Grimm: So, this is the character that stood out to me the most. Daphne is the reason I even wanted to write this commentary. Those of you who know me, know that I adore this character. Partly because, I’m obsessed with the idea that Baz has people looking out for him and who care about him.

Anyway, Ms. Daphne Grimm is the apple of my eye essentially. I love her, I adore her, and she is treated SO UNFAIRLY by the World of Mages.

What do we know about Daphne? She is Baz’s stepmum, and has four kids with Malcolm. From the first book, there are snarky little comments about Daphne’s lack or power and magic. Baz himself makes a shitty comment about how Daphne’s “blood is as thin as gruel”, even though Daphne goes out of her way to make sure he’s got food sent to his room. She’s extra careful in making sure Baz feels safe in his own home. She suggests to Malcolm that Baz should see a therapist for everything he’s been through, making her the ONLY parent who not only acknowledges her child’s trauma, but tries to do something about it!

She is a GOOD mom!

Ok, we know that Baz wears a ton of masks of indifference in Carry On, and he softens up tremendously in Wayward Son, calling her lovely while teaching him to drive a car.

We learn a lot about Daphne in Any Way The Wind Blows. Namely that Fiona has some pretty nasty opinions about her. (That comment about her kids not being legitimate, and that she’s as “thick headed as she is thin blooded”. Now, imagine you’re Daphne, and the widower of the Great Natasha Pitch asks to marry you. That’s already some MASSIVE shoes to fill. You accept, and you do the best you can, taking care of his son and being a positive presence in his life, meanwhile going to all these posh functions where EVERYONE talks about power and magic. Then to have the sister of your husband’s first wife make snarky comments about your level of power and magic.

That stuff sticks with you.

Daphne doesn’t want her kids going to Watford, the ONLY magical school in the UK (as far as we know). She wants her children to succeed and be known for everything they are capable of doing, instead of being ridiculed for all the ways they’ll come up short. According to Baz, the only reason Daphne graduated from Watford was because she was smart enough to pass every exam (yet, Fiona still makes snarky comments about her intelligence).

Daphne is well aware of how painful it can be to live in the World of Mages and not be a powerhouse magician. Like Martin, she takes matters into her own hands and seeks out a way to make herself more powerful.

It is heartbreaking to look at these three amazing, beloved characters, and think about the suffering they have had to endure by their peers. Both Daphne and Martin get frustrated when those around them question their choice to follow Smith-Richards, stating “you don’t know what it’s like”. Luckily for Daphne, Baz makes an effort to actually understand her, and doesn’t judge her. Even when Fiona mocks her, Baz defends his stepmum. When Daphne berates herself and compares herself to Natasha, Baz reflects on how Natasha would have killed him (something Daphne would NEVER do to any of her children).

We know that Watford did not allow magical creatures, or differently-abled magicians (I use this term for a reason) to study there until the Mage came around and allowed everyone into Watford. This was a great thing, because now, every magical child was given the opportunity to learn how to speak with magic.

However, it should not have stopped there. I spoke earlier on differentiation and on finding the right place for everyone’s magic. What if magicians like Martin, and Daphne, and Agatha are all powerful in their own right, and they just haven’t found their place where their magic fits? Instead of finding the right way to teach these magicians, they are left to struggle and ultimately resent their magic and the magic of the world around them.

Do I hear a social commentary on the state of standardized education? I can’t really comment on the British Educational System, nor the American one, as I am Canadian. What I can say, from my own experience in Canadian classrooms, is that for all the talk we do on making education inclusive, there is still a big push from higher ups for high grades and standardized testing. If any of my followers are British or American and care to share your two cents, feel free to do so. Let’s keep the conversation going!

I think this post might have gotten away from me. I think my point was to act as a defense for people like Daphne and Martin who found themselves fished into a scam all for the promise of feeling like they are enough in their world. I also wanted to defend people like Agatha, who did all she could to run away from all of it, only to find the place where she (and her magic) belonged.

I remember having this discussion on Discord, and one of the points that came up was that maybe The Greatest Threat to the World of Mages was this deeply ingrained prejudice over magicians with different sorts of magic. Magicians who need that extra bit of help to find their way.

We’ve seen in this series how these prejudices can threaten to split the World of Mages apart, and it looks like magicians like Penny, Baz, and Agatha are learning from these mistakes. Only time (and us fanfiction writers) will tell how they end up shaping their world for the future generations.

#any way the wind blows spoilers #awtwb spoilers #meta #is it though? #I mean I GUESS #the simon snow trilogy #the simon snow series #magical equality #the world of mages #this is really just a defense for Daphne

[thequibblah]

hi so i'm looking for some new music to listen to and i thought you could help because you have great taste!

if this helps, i'll tell you what i normally listen to, which is very basic & basically the same few artists over and over lol

- mostly just taylor swift, she makes up 70+% of my listening probably haha and if i had to pick a favorite genre of hers it would be the folkmore style

- some other pop, like olivia rodrigo and conan gray and lorde & some doja cat but i'm not a huge fan of doja's lyrics

- lyrics are really big for me, so is having a pretty voice and nice melodies

- i love your playlists but the old songs are usually not my style (there's been some though that i really like, ty for that !! <3)

- ceremonials is my favorite florence album

- liability is my favorite lorde song

no problem if u don't want to!

OH i basically recommend things for a living so why not music, eh?

so. what i'm getting from this is that you have three big listening buckets: soft acoustic and indie pop and just plain old pop. so i will divide my recs by those broad genres! i too prefer singable music so i will try to lay off on especially dissonant artists, or mark them as such so you can be prepared (LOL)

acoustic/folksy (i'll admit i am a big indie pop girl so this stuff will be a bit sparser)

phoebe bridgers — admittedly she is more alt-rocky, but see garden song, savior complex, moon song, graceland too, prayer in open D

waxahatchee — can't do much (GOD THIS SONG), lilacs, st. cloud

lucy dacus — also more alt-rocky, but here r some softer jams: hot & heavy, christine, green eyes, red face (a jily song)

anything by first aid kit! start with stay gold and the lion's roar

hozier — i feel like most people on the internet have listened to SOME hozier but check out wasteland, baby! (i tried to pick individual songs and ended up listing most of the album LOL)

kacey musgraves — another artist you've probably listened to already, but try golden hour

brittany howard — stay high must be the sweetest song in existence, and basically all of her album jaime

arlo parks — the whole album but especially caroline, hurt, and black dog

lake street dive — i can change, good kisser (a mary song if i've ever heard one), and i adore their hall & oates cover!

anya marina — this whole album has had me by the throat since like 2013

lucius — just the whole album wildewoman, h/t @figg-anon for putting me onto this!

idk what tf genre fiona apple is but try her out as well!

artists i listen to less of but are in this vein: the lumineers, bon iver, vance joy

u know i had to rec some old people shit (LOLLLL), so in this vein, joni mitchell, heart, judee sills, emmylou harris, joan baez, vashti bunyan

one-off songs you might like: hold you now by vampire weekend, big wheel by samia, i eat boys by chloe moriondo, strawberry blond by mitski (i worship at the altar of mitski but she might not be your speed haha), like i used to (acoustic) by sharon van etten & angel olsen, body by julia jacklin, jackie onassis by sammy rae and the friends, cowgirl bebop by HANA

indie pop BELOVED

maggie rogers — ok i cannot recommend this higher like if u like lorde and conan gray drop everything now and mainline maggie's brilliant debut album

HAIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — they've got poppier songs like want you back and more mellow songs like summer girl, but honestly i would just recommend a deep dive because they have a pretty surprising breadth within their own alt-rock/pop niche

caroline polachek — can sometimes get way out n weird in the pop sense but so hot you're hurting my feelings is a very listenable pop standard (also it's so funny she's such a clever lyricist also this is irrelevant here but she sounds amazing live), also love look at me now and her cover of breathless

charli xcx is more experimental pop but would rec trying out warm (FT HAIM!!!), blame it on your love (FT LIZZO!!), and official

rina sawayama — technically her album is all sorts of genres but especially XS, comme des garcons, paradisin', bad friend, and tokyo love hotel

orla gartland is a lil softer and i love more like you, oh GOD, and did it to myself

king princess — especially cheap queen, 1950, holy, but basically all of cheap queen

more one-offs: kansas by ashe, comeback by CRJ (full paean in her honour to come in the pop section), i am a big fan of other people covering the bleachers (LOL) especially rollercoaster by charli xcx and i wanna get better by tinashe (full tinashe praise to come too), saturdays by twin shadow (FT HAIM!!!), the kiss of venus and 3 nights by dominic fike (also his interlude on halsey's album), aute cuture and milionària by rosalía, young lover by st. vincent (i love her but again might not be for u haha), good days by sza, backyard boy by claire rosinkranz, slow dancing by aly & aj, hot sugar by glass animals

if ur down to try out something weird witchy and cool, kate bush is like the originator of 9 billion pop and rock genres and hounds of love is a masterpiece

pure pop (we can split hairs on what makes pure pop LOL but basically everything here is based on ur enjoyment of doja)

carly rae jepsen — ok if u haven't listened to her non-radio-hits u may be like "what?? call me maybe lady???" to which i say YES, especially window, stay away, no drug like me, and too much

victoria monet — this may or may not be a selling point to you, but victoria is a frequent ariana grande collaborator and you can absolutely hear it in her music (see also: the mattress spring background noises in dive JUST like they are in positions...), and i love experience, go there with you, and we might even be falling in love, and why not throw in her ariana grande collab monopoly

magdalena bay — how to get physical which i am destined, nay, contractually bound, to put in a jily modern AU someday, killshot, stop & go

tinashe — basically ALL of her new album!!! SO good. i also love rascal (superstar), esther, and old jams like company (and i JUST found out she has a chaka khan cover!)

chloe x halle have the most angelic vocals in the world

this might sound actually demented because WHO hasn't heard love on the brain but rly... go give ANTI a re-listen...

tove lo — especially are u gonna tell her, mateo, and jacques

WAIT I FORGOT TO SAY ROBYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERY ROBYN SONG!!!!!!!

for that throwback poppy sound u may as well go real throwback KJAHKJA and check out donna summer!

one-offs: right to it by louis the child n ashe, serial lover by kehlani (also more by her but im getting lazy now kdjfhgk), missed calls by max n hayley kiyoko, peppers and onions by tierra whack, idk who hasnt heard this song but circles by meg, todo de ti by rauw alejandro (the way i wanted this to be song of the summer so bad ;___;)

hope you enjoy and pls come back and tell me if you really liked any of these!!!! xoxo

#genuinely i have revealed so much about myself w this i feel like you could pick me out of a spotify lineup HAHHAAH #ask me #anon #music disk horse

[leavealonethegemini]

ok, i’m bored and been listening to Blue Banisters nonstop for 2 days, so i’m gonna make a small analysis of it:

my favs:

- thunder (the chorus, instrumentals, vocals…everything’s so on point. the whole mood of the track suits lana so well, and makes me crave for a whole album with songs that sound exactly like that).

- text book (love the lyrics and the outro…I think it’s probably the most underrated track, but damn is one of her best openers besides “born to die” and “cruel world”).

- wildflower wildfire (the intro sounds a lot like a fiona apple song. lyrics are gorgeous and powerful…”i promise you like a million tomorrows” “my father never stepped in when his wife would rage at me, so i ended up awkward but sweet”. i just wish i knew more about this fucked up relationship w/ her mother…there was a moment in the live on the honeymoon account that she said that “there’s a new element in one song that pretty much defines everything” and i’m pretty sure she’s talking about this particular one).

least favs:

- black bathing suit (i wished i loved it more but the outro seems a little too chaotic for me. some critics compared it to some songs in fiona apple’s “fetch the bolt cutters” with a more experimental approach blending instrumentals and voice…i don’t know, maybe it’s gonna grow on me somehow. love the lyrics though).

- sweet carolina (i like that this was co-written by her dad and chuck, you can genuinely feel their connection…but somehow it feels unfinished and silly, in comparison w/ the rest of the album)

- beautiful (a track i’d always skip no matter what. that line about picasso is probably the most memorable thing about the song).

other highlights:

- dealer (I guess this is gonna be a fan favourite for a myriad of reasons. the rage and emotion she put on her voice, the noir-esque production by the last shadow puppets, and it’s kind of a highlight sonically speaking from all those quieter piano ballads. i really enjoyed it and think is one of the most memorable songs she’s put out in years).

- violet for roses (a very soft and sultry ldr song but with lyrics that made me really happy about where she’s standing in life and relationships right now. the beginning makes a reference about how things are finally returning to normal after the pandemic: “the girls are runnin' 'round in summer dresses, with their masks off and it makes me so happy. Larchmont Village smells like lilies of the valley, the bookstore doors are opening, and it's finally happening…”)

- blue banisters (the title track is also a memorable piece for me in ways that sums it up all the entire album’s mood, as well as previous ones had done before (“honeymoon”, “nfr”, “ultraviolence”) and vocally is also one of the best. the allegory of the banisters’ colors with the seasons and nature makes me nostalgic in ways that recalls the “video games” era a little bit, because of the domestic scenery and this familiar, idyllical place where she’s been these days (“arcadia” is the ultimate literal reference to that). the video is gorgeous and simple, and i love that in the end lana stares into the camera with her killer look of “y’all never know what is really going through my mind right now”).

- cherry blossom (one of my favourite unreleased tracks, i literally screamed when i first saw this oficially on BB’s tracklist. i think it’s the saddest song on the album, recalls a little bit of cat power’s “you are free” most melancholic moments like “i don’t blame you”. for me the lyrics could be directly connected to a possible next step in her personal life: she mentions angelina, which i guess it could be her future daughter’s name).

#lana del rey #blue banisters

[springfieldblues]

ok thoughts on Diary Queen

lets go in order since i decided to write things down as i watch the episode in order to stay focused

first of all holy shit the animation in the intro musical number was SO expressive and SO fluid, i cant believe they worked so hard on what (for what all intents and purposes) is a throwaway gag but im definitely not complaining!! it was a treat to see and the song was great too. i remember reading something about them having a broadway musical style episode planned for this season and for a moment i thought this would be the one because of how high quality that bit was. i was wrong, but now at least this has me looking forward to the actual musical episode whenever it comes out

nelson quote of the episode: "thank you...*grabs two cut out bible curse words from jar* ...adultery ass"

the repurposing of marcia wallace's past recordings as edna was actually pretty ingenious, even if you can tell what episodes they took them from...they picked some very poignant quotes and put them to great use. i love that ednas signature quote is starting to become "if you can teach one kid one thing, then today will be a success" from Bart Gets a Z (very underrated episode)

really interesting how bart was immediately averse to seeing 'the dark side of another marriage' (not to mention immediately assuming that ned and edna had marriage problems upon finding her diary)

i dont know why but my jaw dropped when they used fiona apple's shameika in the episode...its from a pretty recent album (and pretty damn good too) so i was like wow...the taste *pinched fingers emoji* (i personally wouldve saved it for a lisa episode but maybe thats just me since i associate fiona with lisa HAHA not complaining either way)

yknow speaking of lisa, as i was watching the episode for the first time i was kind of annoyed at lisa like damn girl just let him have this one thing...he just wants genuine support and someone who believes in him. but at the same time, as soon as she started getting itchy (literally) over not being able to tell bart the truth about what he misinterpreted and effectively letting bart live a lie, i was like 'oh. i get it' and other people might see that as stupid but oh my god...im the same. i wish i wasnt though. im afraid people might misinterpret her anxiety over it as her not wanting to see bart happy, especially because thats what i initially thought they were going for too, but as the episode progresses i think it becomes clear that its more about her needing to tell bart the truth to an almost pathological degree but also not wanting to hurt barts feelings in the process. "im letting him live a lie that might ruin him!!" idk. found it relatable for better or for worse

nice fanny pack milhouse

"when the last student finishes using the lice comb please pass it back up" I SCREAMED

bart after he learns the truth was honestly truly heartbreaking to see man......i dont have much to say, i just really feel for him and they did a great job at expressing his hurt over learning about his misunderstanding. i feel like he recovered a little too quickly after the talk with ned (i blame this on the episode format since it was time to wrap things up) but it was a touching moment nonetheless. another amazing use of archive recordings, this time from The Seemingly Never-Ending Story. it almost feels as if they had written the episode around this particular quote because of the syngergy it has with barts feelings after thinking edna believed in him (which she did all along as it turns out)

god. what a sweet episode. what a way to give edna closure as a character. we miss you mrs. k

[ravenqueen89]

10 songs

the amazing warrior queen @motorbikeadam tagged me to list ten songs i’m loving right now. thank you!!

as usual, this is a very eclectic mix of randomness that is currently at the top of the list. i listen to a lot of music all the time, so this is only a sample.

tagging, no obligations: @tortuosity-writes​, @aban-asaara​, @allisondraste​, @third-rail-vip​, @briarfox13​

1. labrinth - mount everest: i watched Euphoria (damn, it goes hard, view with care) the other day and it left me with a lot of new music, such as this example that i’ve had on repeat.

i burn down my house and build it up again i burn it down twice just for the fun of it

2. fiona apple - ladies: it’s hard to choose just one song from this utter gift of an album. so much greatness. this one has been in my head a lot.

yet another woman to whom I won't get through ruminations on the looming effect and the parallax view

3. matt berninger - hole: it is not an obscure fact that i’ve been obsessed with the national since 2010 so matt’s stuff was always going to get me too.

that big blue open sea that can't be crossed that can't be climbed just born between oh, the two white lines distant gods and faded signs

4. christine and the queens - people, i’ve been sad: christine also owns me and this song in particular hits hard.

it's true that, people, I've been sad it's true that, people, I've been gone it's true that, people, I've been missing out  missing out for way too long  it's just that me, myself, and I

continues under the cut because i had to include lyrics for some reason.

5. tommee profitt (feat. sam tinnesz) - bullet with butterfly wings (cover): i have about four or five versions of this song in my music library and this one has been frequently accompanying me on my walks around the apartment.

and what do I get for my pain? betrayed desire and a piece of the game

6. lady gaga - stupid love: i just love this. it makes me happy.

you're the one that I've been waiting for gotta quit this cryin', nobody's gonna heal me if I don't open the door kinda hard to believe, gotta have faith in me

7. florence + the machine - big god: i’ve been listening to my playlists a lot and chanting these lines from this song repeatedly (in my head, but still).

sometimes I think it's getting better and then it gets much worse is it just part of the process? jesus christ, it hurts

8. bishop briggs - dark side: i looooooooovee this song, the beat is so good.

welcome to my darkness, I been here a while clouding up the sunlight, hurting for a smile or something, but something always turns into nothing

9. billie eilish - everything i wanted: current big emoting song.

i had a dream i got everything I wanted not what you'd think and if I'm bein' honest it might've been a nightmare

10. taeyeon - I: listen, i just really love her, ok. certain people are to be blamed, but i don’t mind at all.

but strong girl, you know you were born to fly

#music #faves

[surejo]

( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot ) 

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her. 

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes. 

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8. 

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco, 

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic, 

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie, 

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !

#bigbearintro #y'all my intro style evolved! #there's a tl;dr beneath the bg info bc i!! rambled!! #i feel like i went back and forth b/t proper grammar/punctuation and.... not.... caring. #also i am. dumb 2night. it j took me a hot while to figure out how to spell punctuation and it still doesnt look right the english language #is so weird???? #we post this before we have many followers we die like men.

[hexalt]

oh my god i think i like you

- you're pretty & smart & ignoring me so obviously you're my type. - i won't forget, i won't regret this beautiful, heart stopping, breathtaking, life-changing... - hey. you're the love of my life. you know that, right?

a rebecca bunch x greg serrano mega mix from season 1 to season 4, so there's A LOT OF MOODS. prepare to laugh, cry, and dance. cover completely inspired by cordeliafoxxy's mix fanmix challenge - ix. fictional relationships (groups, family, friendship, otp, etc.)

[ spotify | 8tracks (incomplete) ]

falling for the first time - barenaked ladies I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser / I'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured out / I'm so sane, it's drivin' me crazy / It's so strange, I can't believe it feels just like I'm falling for the first time

i’m not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance - black kids I'm not gonna teach him how to dance / The second I do, I know we're gonna be through / I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you / He don't suspect a thing / I wish he'd get a clue / I'm not gonna teach him how to dance to with you

bartender - regina spektor Come on, bartender / You have got to kick me back out / Into the cold and nasty weather / And maybe if I sober up / I will stop / Pretending that love is forever / Come on, bartender / Love will be the death of me / Love is so fickle / It starts with a flood and it ends with a trickle

closing time - semisonic Closing time / One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer / Closing time / You don't have to go home but you can't stay here / I know who I want to take me home

settle for me - santino fontana Yes, Josh is a dream, but I’m right here / In flesh and blood and self-hate / Settle for me / In a sad way, darling, it’s fate

settle for me (reprise) - rachel bloom Why not just settle for him? / He's a nice, smart guy / And he and I / Do get along... / Well, kind of.

i really want you to hate me - meg myers I really want you to hate me / I really want you to find / That I am bitter and angry / That I'm the ugliest girl / And I will never be a bride / There's no love for the wicked / There's no love and / I wanna die

self esteem - the offspring I wrote her off for the tenth time today / And practiced all the things I would say / But she came over / I lost my nerve / I took her back and made her dessert / Now I know I'm being used / That's okay because I like the abuse / I know she's playing with me / That's okay 'cause I've got no self-esteem

feels like we only go backwards - tame impala I've got my hopes up again, oh no, not again / It feels like we only go backwards, darlin' / The seed of all this indecision isn't me / 'Cause I decided long ago / But that's the way it seems to go / When trying so hard to get to something real

shadowboxer - fiona apple I was on to every play / I just wanted you / But oh, it's so evil, my love, the way you've no / Reverence to my concern / So I'll be sure to stay wary of you, love / To save the pain of once my flame and twice my burn

happier - a fine frenzy Quick kid quick, so harsh and cynical / It's not the words that make it final / You've said such things before to rival them / But it's how you say 'em now that's changed / Cold but sympathetic all the same / Lie to convince me that I'll be better off / Oh, you go on and I'll be happier

tired - adele I'm tired of trying / Your teasing ain't enough / Fed up of biding your time / When I don't get nothing back / I get closer, you obviously prefer him

it’s you - zayn She got / Her own reasons / For talking to me / And she don't, she don't, she don't / Give a fuck about what I need / And I can't tell you why / Because my brain can't equate it / Tell me your lies / Because I just can't face it

the writing’s on the wall - ok go It seems like forever / Since we had a good day / The writing's on the wall / But I just want to get you high tonight / I just want to see some pleasure in your eyes / And I go too high, and you go too cold then we both fall apart / Then you bring your mind, to rest against mine / But the mind has no say on affairs of the heart

tear you apart - she wants revenge Either way he wanted her and this was bad / He wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy / Now a little crush turned into a like / And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her, / "I want to hold you close / Soft breasts, beating heart / As I whisper in your ear / I want to fucking tear you apart"

i gave you a uti - santino fontana One night with me is pure ecstasy / 'Cause I know just what you like / But you should know for a week or so / You won't be able to ride a bike / I gave you a UTI

oh my god i think i like you - rachel bloom I say, "No no no! This is just about sex!" / And "No no no! Don't be such a girl, Becks!" / But then I feel the oxytocin creeping back to my brain / And all I can do is sing it again / Oh my god, I think I like you

everything is embarrassing - sky ferreira Maybe if you let me be your lover / Maybe if you tried, then I would not bother / I've been hating everything, everything that could have been / Could have been my anything, now everything's embarrassing

like a friend - pulp I had one, two, three / Four shots of happiness, I look like a big man / But I've only got a little soul / I wish I could be an example / Wish I could say I stood up for you / And fought for what was right / But I never did / I did what was wrong though I knew what was right / I've got no wisdom that I want to pass on

slow disco - st. vincent There's blood in my ears / And a fool in the mirror / And the pain of mistakes couldn't get any clearer / Am I thinking what everybody's thinkin'? / I'm so glad I came, but I can't wait to leave / Slip my hand from your hand / Leave you dancin' with a ghost

about a girl - the academy is... Last night I knew what to say / But you weren't there to hear it / These lines so well rehearsed / Tongue-tied and overloaded / You never noticed / I'm not in love / This is not my heart / I'm not gonna waste these words / About a girl

twice - little dragon Twice I turn my back on you / I fell flat on my face but didn't lose / Tell me what led you on, I'd love to know / Was it both men / Thought I had an answer once / But your random ways swept me along

knife - grizzly bear I want you to know / When I look in your eyes / With every blow / Comes another lie / You think it's alright / Can't you feel the knife?

still - foo fighters Bring some change up to the bridge / Bring some alcohol / There we'll make a final wish / Just before the fall / Promise I will be forever yours / Promise not to say another word

false alarm - the head and the heart Visions of you dance through my head / Dark heroine of the books I have read / Pages torn out, I made up my own world / Deep in the dream, it's all built to last / You'll pull the plug, drain me down fast / So many stones, stuck in my shoes / And I know if there's enough / It could make up a road / That could lead me far from this town

georgia - vance joy She is something to behold / Elegant and bold / She is electricity / Running to my soul / And I could easily lose my mind / The way you kiss me will work each time / Calling me to come back to bed / Singing Georgia on my mind

anyone who knows what love is (will understand) - irma thomas You can blame me / Try to shame me / And still I'll care for you / You can run around / Even put me down / Still I'll be there for you / The world / May think I'm foolish / They can't see you / Like I can / Oh but anyone / Who knows what love is / Will understand

i wanna get better - bleachers I didn’t know I was lonely 'til I saw your face / I wanna get better / I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change / I wanna get better

it was a shit show - santino fontana We can't undo, can't make amends / Dysfunction is our lingua franca / When you say that I should stay / That's exactly when I should split / Though I won't forget, I won't regret / This beautiful, heart stopping / Breathtaking, life-changing...!

vertigo - anya marina The song you sing is sentimental / The song you sing is making me well / I like it, like it, outta control / The song you sing gives me vertigo / I was singing to myself / Pretending you were there

santa monica dream - angus & julia stone I'm singing songs about the future / Wondering where you are / I could call you on the telephone / But do I really want to know? / You're making love now to the lady down the road / No I don't, I don't want to know / I'm somewhere, you're somewhere / I'm nowhere, you're nowhere / You're somewhere, you're somewhere / I could go there but I don't

weary blues - madeleine peyroux Lord knows it died the day you left / My dream world fell apart / Weary blues from waitin' / Lord, I've been waitin' so long / These blues have got me cryin' / Oh, sweet daddy please come home

love is a losing game - amy winehouse Love is losing game / One I wished, I never played / Oh, what a mess we made / And now the final frame

hello, nice to meet you - rachel bloom & skyler astin Pleased to make your acquaintance, stranger / I've spent many years processing my anger / Wouldn't know what to say to the person I knew / But it's nice to meet you

enchanted - taylor swift All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you / This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go / I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

505 - arctic monkeys I'm going back to 505 / If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive / In my imagination you're waiting, lying on your side / With your hands between your thighs / But I crumble completely when you cry / It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye

forget forgive - someone Bad thoughts pushing at the neck / Puts pressure on the chest / Calm sorrow / Forget / Forgive

warning sign - coldplay I’ve gotta tell you what a state I’m in / I’ve gotta tell you in my loudest tones / That I started looking for a warning sign / When the truth is, I miss you

fine with me - rizzle kicks Spit out the bitter when life isn't sweet, yeah / That's fine with me, fine with me / Just for today, if nothing goes my way, well / That's fine with me, fine with me / 'Cause I'm in the place / Where nothing could happen / To the smile on my face

warm body - cafune Give me all your heartaches and I'll push them down the drain / There's no need for voices that aren't singing this refrain / Say all you want, just stay / You just need a warm body / I'll be your install, I just need your warm body / Everybody knows, they just need to talk about it / Stay this way, hit replay

stop desire - tegan and sara I can't deny I'm begging for attention / Dropping hints, hoping for some tension / Getting tired of making all this racket / Waiting on you to get your ass in gear / I didn't wanna be so invested / I played it cool and then I overdressed it / Get me, feel me, want me / Like me, love me, need me

she’s so high - tal bachman First class and fancy-free, she's high society / She's got the best of everything / What could a guy like me ever really offer? / She's perfect as she can be, why should I even bother? / 'Cause, she's so high, high above me / She's so lovely

i really like you - carly rae jepsen I need to tell you something / I really, really, really, really, really, really like you / And I want you, do you want me, do you want me too?

sweet - little dragon Sweet, that feeling when you know you're hooked and you can't get enough / Sweet, that feeling when you're skating down the avenue of love / Sweet, I was checking on your phone because this sweetness is drugs / Sweet, can't get enough, not giving up

i hate everything but you - skyler astin I hate the phrase "Love conquers all," and I hate that it's true / 'Cause I want to not hate things when I'm with you / You love so many things and you have so much fun / It makes me wish my hating days were done

love natural - crystal fighters It's almost midnight, the time is coming up / The time is getting closer, the time is almost here / Life is upon us and the time for love is here and now / When I look at you, oh I feel my heart / Oh, I feel your love deep inside

do it again - santino fontana My lips just ache to have you take the kiss that's waiting for you / You know if you do, you won't regret it, come and get it / Do it again, please do it again

the sword & the pen - regina spektor Don't let me out of this kiss / Don't let me say what I say / The things that scare us today / What if they happen someday / Don't let me out of your arms / For now / I don't want to live without you

sea of love - cat power Do you remember / When we met / That's the day / I knew you were my pet / I wanna tell you / How much / I love you

#crazy ex girlfriend #greg serrano #rebecca bunch #cxg #cxgf #grebecca #playlist #greg x rebecca #fanmix #music #fanmix challenge #mine #*

[brownnesscrew]

"A LETTER TO MY TEENAGE SELF" by SOLANGE KNOWLES

there will be fear. a lot of it. there will be triumph. a lot of it. there will be constellations you want to reach for but can’t put your finger on. you will trace them like the scars on your body you got from trouble and the times of your life. you will take the long way to get to these Orions. the long way will become a theme in your life, but a journey you learn to love.

you will dive head first without looking into phases that you are certain of who you are. some of these stages include:

the dance-is-life (aka “this leotard is my second skin”) phase.

the Bible-thumping-church-camp phase. (which coincided and contradicted with the Fiona-Apple-fan-club-president phase)

the Nas aficionado-brown-lip-liner-and-Vaseline phase.

the Rasta-vegan-thrifter-who-is-determined-to-marry-Brandon-Boyd phase.

the football-player’s-girlfriend-who-wears-braided-blond-highlights-and-swears-by-capri-pants phase.

at the time, you are searching. seeking in every corner and pocket of the world for who you are. take your time, baby girl. there’s no rush to get there. you will sow each of these chapters in the land that you become. you will see bits and pieces of them scattered into the skin you grow into. you don’t have to figure everything out now. time will reveal itself. i promise you.

sometimes you push these phases to the max, and when you go out into the world feeling confident in who you are and what you reflect, young folks will call you names and grown folks will call you names. It’s ok. one day you will name yourself, and that name will belong to you. it will not be the ones they ordained: “crazy, ugly, attention-seeking, weirdo.”

i really hate to tell you this, but sometimes you will still get called these things as an adult, except you will actually embrace some of them. you will learn that these are just words. words that only have power if you choose to give them power. every once in a while they will hurt, but you will choose to turn those words into a symbol of beauty.

speaking of words. they might just be your first love. sometimes you can write for hours, just you and the words on the pages. they make you feel understood, even if it’s just you that you’re talking to.

trust in these words, even when you’re feeling wildly insecure. hold on to your journals. cherish them. put them somewhere safe so that they may become a guide for you later, a revealer and a friend.

the lucky stars have been good to you, and there’s a long list of things you’d like to give gratitude to them for, but for now thank them for these three:

that you didn’t die when you and your friends drove up a steep mountain in a snowstorm with no experience and bad brakes. that was stupid as hell.

that you went to the ensemble theater every summer. i really don’t think you’d be who you are today had it not been for those experiences, teachers, and experimentation with your mind and body.

that the universe chose your mom to be your mother.

she is a wonder. you watch her drop off 3 kids at 3 different schools in the morning, pick them up in the afternoon, shuffle each of them to their designated activities, and bring them all back to the salon she owns until she closes up with the utmost grace, love, and kindness.

you realize watching a woman balance being a supportive mother, building a successful business from the ground up that was started in her garage, and giving back to the community will make you feel invincible and like the word “no” is just an echo in the universe that you'll never know. you often take her for granted, but you know with every joint in your bones that she is a phenomenon and you strive to make her proud. you should thank her out loud more, too; tell her you value her. roll your eyes and your neck less. it’s not as cute as you think. tell her you appreciate all that she does, for she makes the impossible look effortless. she surrounds you with other black women who do the same. you study them, and will constantly think of all their stories, their beauty, their strife and their stride. they break down all of the archetypes and stereotypes that you see of black women on tv and in magazines, so you don’t trust those anymore. you thank them for re-writing the script before it was ever etched in your memory.

because you have your mama’s blood, you are fiercely independent and outgoing. you’ve been starting petitions, building tree houses, and starting clubs since as long as you can remember.

sometimes in the midst of juggling all this, you put a lot of pressure on yourself and often crash and burn. you shut down. you go into your room, lock the door, put on music, and you do not move for 8 hours straight. it will feel like the heaviest and bleakest darkness you can possibly feel, and when you ask everyone to leave you alone and let you be, what you really want to say is “i want you here” and “i need help.”

sometimes it is ok to say just that. it won’t make you less strong or less powerful. no one you love will criticize you or blame you; in fact, they will lift you up.

seventeen will be the hardest year of your life. it will grow you up almost immediately. you will lose your best friend whom you love so much to gun violence in a single moment, and give birth to a new one within a year.

you will be terrified, and it’s ok that you don’t know what the future holds. some people will count you out because of the decision you’ve made to bring another life into the world so young, but you made the decision out of love and will live with the decision in love.

soon enough you will learn how to love and how to exist with love in ways that you never knew. you will learn how to love yourself and how to empathize with and forgive those who may have taken a bit of that pure love away from you.

you have a long life ahead of you, and i'll tell you it’s not gonna always be easy, but I can promise you it will be fruitful and with much purpose. all the bridges you’ve burned, you had to, so that you could rebuild them to become a stronger and more wonderful you.

there will be pain, there will be doubt there will be beauty, there will be the unknown. there will be so many moments of joy and delight that the whole universe will feel painted in hues of amber and wonder. there will be times you are so sad you can’t lift your head. and there will be times you are so happy that the sensation of life knocks you down. but most importantly, there will be you. a whole, whole lot of it. and you will feel good about who she is and who she is still becoming.

[kosa12-blog]

Solange Recalls Incubus Singer Crush and Gives Life Advice to Her Teenage Self in Letter

Did you know Solange had a mega crush on the lead singer of Incubus? In the late '90s, while big sister Beyoncé and her group Destiny's Child were sweeping the charts with hits such as "Bug a Boo" and "Bills, Bills, Bills," Solange, now 30, was a teenager with her own fledgling music career whose musical tastes included rapper Nas and the alternative rock band, led by her crush, Brandon Boyd. The singer reflects on her past phases in a letter she wrote to her teenage self, published in Teen Vogue Wednesday. Beyoncé and Solange: Sisterly Love "You will dive head first without looking into phases that you are certain of who you are," she wrote. "Some of these stages include: the dance-is-life (aka 'This leotard is my second skin') phase. The Bible-thumping-church-camp phase (which coincided and contradicted with the Fiona Apple-fan-club-president phase). The Nas-aficionado-brown-lip-liner-and-Vaseline phase. The Rasta-vegan-thrifter-who-is-determined-to-marry-Brandon-Boyd phase. The football-player's-girlfriend-who-wears-braided-blond-highlights-and-swears-by-capri-pants phase." Solange had revealed her teen crush to Seventeen magazine in 2002, when she was 15. The outlet reported at the time that Beyoncé "had to practically drag Solange away" from Incubus' Boyd at the Billboard Music Awards. Solange's Extended Family Wedding Photos Solange's letter later takes on a somber tone. She reflects on her low moments during her teenage years. "You shut down. you go into your room, lock the door, put on music, and you do not move for 8 hours straight," she wrote. "It will feel like the heaviest and bleakest darkness you can possibly feel, and when you ask everyone to leave you alone and let you be, what you really want to say is 'I want you here' and 'I need help.'" "Sometimes it is OK to say just that," she added. "It won't make you less strong or less powerful. no one you love will criticize you or blame you; in fact, they will lift you up."  She also tells her teenage self how to deal with people labeling her. "Sometimes you push these phases to the max, and when you go out into the world feeling confident in who you are and what you reflect, young folks will call you names and grown folks will call you names," Solange continued in her letter to her teenage self. "It's OK. One day you will name yourself, and that name will belong to you. It will not be the ones they ordained: 'Crazy, ugly, attention-seeking, weirdo.'" "I really hate to tell you this, but sometimes you will still get called these things as an adult, except you will actually embrace some of them," she wrote. "You will learn that these are just words. Words that only have power if you choose to give them power. Every once in a while they will hurt, but you will choose to turn those words into a symbol of beauty."

#Solange #Recalls #Incubus #Singer #Crush #Gives #Advice #Teenage #Letter

[jameypants1-blog]

The only defense you need with me is why you ignore me and block me from early on when all I wanted was to know what I'd done. I know I'm belligerent and an asshole comes to getting my way, spoiled rotten straight out the womb side effect of my attachment, saw it one night in 2006 was drafting Sermon in the Shell for black and went splash my eyes off in bathroom it was middle of the night and I was thirsty and tired and wired and when I looked in the mirror there it was, my Ugly Disease the thing inside me that I'd never been aware of. My face was Nosferatu but elongated and misshapen really a shock to see bc never had I hallucinated on anything but acid and shrooms and those times were different,just part of tripping and trippy looking. This was my face. And from the lipless shard toothed mouth issued a voice that was not mine but gutteral only as I've ever encountered anywhere else in stefanis head where I never talk to her like other people but in that voice and when she sings it's that voice in her head but the voice she records coming out her mouth. Her dialect is also strange, she doesn't speak or write to me in fluid terms, it's direct and short bursts, not at all poetic, and beyond the songs to me and including them even there is a lack of poetry but persistent selfishness, in her head she growls 'i want my Monster' as if I'm a doll being deprived and she thinks this all the time it overlaps whatever else she's processing to blurt out some weird vague answer, ask her if she likes eggs she'll respond that she's not afraid of them. She's dead. But it's not and until the girl it hijacked blows a vessel or has an anyuresym it's doing it's best to get it's Glory, kill the Monster. She wants her doll I'm hers and what's keeping me from her is some angry people my best friends. I accept that she's very likely not the same woman I was married too bc she too was dead and they stay dead these Jinn partners they attach to themselves their kids the whole world destroy human beings and that's Elite. Intolerable Caesar indeed. If she is the same woman I married if anything Alive is in there I want to save her, not to have back a wife I never had but so she can experience Life, they took the most talent little girl they could buy and created her in anticipation, just in case I'd some survived all the breaking they awarded me not just my Legos torn asunder flesh whipped to bone fucked by the aristocrats into a bloody scrap of meat she chewed up but broke my heart, literally ate it as if that anything to do with what they, she, took. Unless you and Glenn and Trent and Maynard and Neil and Thom and Daddy and on and on are just hateful and don't like me bc I just suck she really is my Enemy and my Ruin. 'Free Yourself' the Ugly diseased voice sneered. Then receeded not disappeared until it was just me, wide eyed and Shaken. Pure contempt. It's still there. It's female. But got a gutteral sexless voice. That's what I'm married to. Stefani asked If I liked Joanne. She has to hire people to help her write and can no longer distinguish if it's good or total crap. Perhaps another jaZz album is in order, let some dirty old man at the Tramp. Break my heart and be rid of me once and for all. Look if she's just the remants of the most sickening human sacrifice to selfish scatterbrained hate then ok they hurt me killed the perfect girl but I won't follow her down again, I just need to go find out and her weird request to be easy with her she's more delicate than I think isn't a strong woman it's a scared cunt made out of these manipulating liars attempt to I guess spite good teach god a lesson for insolence to assholes I dunno but I'm not leaving till they learn a lesson too and I'll take her away if I can let that girl be whoever she wants to be with whoever she wants and I'll be back to where we were long before she rolled in at my lowest to win the Glory of her Red Crown, after which they'd have been done with her and she'd be asking someone else if they liked Joanne bc she can't tell shit from sunshine and she isn't afraid of anything. For two days now I've asked for a straight answer to two simple questions. Am I yours? Are you mine. I have been answered with questions completely unrelated and asked if I think she's smart. I think she was. I think she was the beautiful human being ever to be unlucky enough to be born here and in the big poison apple to pink Floyd fans. She's not mentally Ill she's just a dumb whore and I'm sick of that Evil cunt ruining LIFE, no wonder God is gay Saul, the only altrnative is back to that over girl can't stand me, gives me static and blame when I am not fucking Evil or conning any of you, first I can't have two wives then I can't have either bc theyre both the same and besides She's inside me anyway and I've never figured out how to beat that contempt, 'free Yourself'. So whose dick I gotta suck get a little assistance then? I am asking for help. And probably not from you Fionna, you probably 'want your Monster' but you also can't have me bc my dad and friends aren't in the mood to watch the big dummy go RUNNING straight to my xecution again boner flopping ahead of me straight to Chambers teach me who I am yet again. Ok Glenn, I'm an idiot. Guess Death did part me and the old ball and chain so please fucks sake fellas forgive me I'm not belligerent about any of this. I'll not let a dead girl murder us again and the world that came that close to being saved we're it not Jesus Christ the slave of Lady Allah and Miss Apple the only two burnouts and only two girls Inside, sure some suicides but they knew me and faith no more Jamey, all her songs are me me me and that's all you sing anymore too. Free yourself or die in chains. And everyone stuck here surrounding the cage. Something's pulling you away from me I daresay she meant. But hey she did bring me back so can we at least get her a tiarra or something sparkly token of thanks bc thats the only gratitude she grasps, hard sparkly stones set in soft yellow stones, very Classy. Stefani wtf are you teaching me about myself that this rarified Cunt just like you but not already didn't when I thought for a minute she was who I'd been looking for but couldn't have been bc she didn't come running when I sent the kite hey baby I'm here come get me 20 years ago. Fuckin squids.. Fiona Apple - Sleep to Dream: https://youtu.be/L9Wnh0V4HMM