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ohnoivemadeamistake · 4 years

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I DID THE THING!

Enjoy, ya friccen nerds

First Act of Kindness, pt. 1

Blood on the ground. Blood on her teammates. Blood on her enemies.

Vivian Miller, the BLU Medic, was trying her best to get to every teammate that needed her, but it was difficult. The RED Team was really aggressive this match, especially their Soldier and Scout, who were shit-talking the other team to the max.

"Looks like they got some anger issues," Derek, the BLU Sniper, jokingly stated before Vivian left to take care of the BLU Scout. However, she didn't quite make it to him before his blown off arm landed in front of her and he ran out of Respawn, even more irritated than he was.

"Medic!" BLU Spy called from the bomb, which was being held by the RED Heavy and Demoman. Vivian started towards the payload, but the RED Spy shot her in the shoulder, uncloaking him. He laughed at her before running up behind BLU Soldier. She called out to him, but he dropped to the ground before he turned around. He laughed again.

"You should have stayed in Germany with your paints, you DaVinci wannabe!" He taunted. She stared at him as he turned around straight into the BLU Pyro, which prompted her to laugh at him as he burned. Pyro looked at her and gave her a thumbs up.

"Hmmpf mm(goodjob)! Hmmpf hmm hmmpf(go get healed)!"

The Medic smiled slightly and nodded before running to where she knew a health packet would spawn for her.

She saw it, but before she got too close, she saw the RED Sniper fall down closer, his bloodied hand outstretched towards the same health packet she was running towards. The Medic got a little closer around the small corner, and saw that his leg had been blown up partially, most likely by the BLU Demoman. It was just his left leg, and as she stared, examining it from afar, she saw that the pant leg was pretty much gone past the knee, and it was bloody and his foot was gone, the area where his ankle was had just been pouring out a massive amount of blood, and she could see a dark red trail end not too far away, so he must have just lost it.

The BLU Medic was looking at him for a hot minute before he started crawling towards it. She felt sorry for him, and thought about how much he would need this health packet rather than her, even though he was the enemy.

---

He shouted a profanity as he fell victim to one of the BLU Demoman's sticky traps. The RED Sniper had been trying to head up to his secondary nest, after he got chased out of his primary one for this location, but the enemy had predicted where he would be going long before he even knew he'd have to go there!

You see, he thought to himself, THIS is why we've been so aggressive all round. Because the BLU Team has to be so SMART! They're always so coordinated, and work together so nicely, and we AREN'T so coordinated, and we DON'T work together so well! Even with the two calm and collected teammates that can make a plan for our victory, we never seem to follow any of their plans since our brute force always seems to do the job!

He felt his eyes water in anger as he hit the ground. Anger at himself for not seeing the obvious sticky bomb until he tripped on it, triggering it. Anger at his team, for choosing to rely on their strength instead of their smarts. Anger at the BLU Team for using both their strength and smarts. He grabbed his dark orange aviators to hide the tears that would start to form at the sides of his eyes.

He held himself against the wall and started limping towards a health packet at the end of the hall. He slowly transitioned from the wall to trying to use his rifle as a crutch, which wasn't a very good idea so he went back to limping against the wall. He was so close to the health packet now, the RED Sniper forgot that his foot was missing and fell face first into the wood flooring, his hand stretched outward towards the packet. He looked up and continued trying to crawl towards the health packet.

He was so close before he saw a pair of boots step briskly in front of him, bloody at the bottom. Before he could sigh, a blue pair of rubber gloves reached down and grabbed the pack. It was the BLU Medic, and she got the pack before him!

He groaned into the floor, but he didn't hear the steps of her boots. Instead, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Sniper looked up to find himself staring at the blue-turquoise eyes of the BLU Medic, and she was holding the health packet out in offering to him. He noticed a bullet hole in her right shoulder, so why wasn't she taking it for herself?

"Aren't you going to take zhe packet or not?" She told him. He snapped back to reality. He couldn't help it, her eyes were unlike anything he's seen …

"Sorry …" Sniper sat up and grabbed the packet, prompting her departure. Even though he should've been focusing all his attention on the packet and getting his foot back, he found himself watching her go. He was confused, mostly. She was the enemy, and he'd been headshotting her all round. Why would she help him? Did she feel bad for him? Was it instinct?

---

The BLU Team had finally won their first match in a week, and they were all ecstatic. The RED Team had been bullying them with their 4-match winning streak, this loss had really crushed them. Both Scouts had taken the time that the BLUs were celebrating to shit-talk each other, saying they were either absolute garbage or just flat out yelling profanities at them.

The BLU Medic and Soldier were chatting it away, the Medic complimenting her father endlessly for how well his planning with the BLU Demoman had led to their first victory in a week, and the Soldier, flustered, telling his daughter that he shouldn't get all the praise before shushing her when he saw the RED Sniper walking towards them with a very slight limp.

"Hey, doc, could I ask you something in private real quick?" The Australian asked her nervously.

"Not in private," the Soldier got in between him and the Medic, which was reasonable, but the Medic got a bit defensive.

"Soldier," she put a hand on her father's shoulder. "Maybe you can stand guard, so ve can talk." He nodded, and the Medic followed the Aussie around the corner and stopped when he felt that they wouldn't be heard.

"So, I don't mean to be rude, but why'd you help me back there?" He asked her. The Medics eyes lit up.

"Well, I don't quite know," She replied nervously. "I guess that, as a Medic, it became an instinct to help everyone that might need it. It … I don't think I should have done it with what we are paid to do, but it just felt right." She looked up at him again. She looked past his dark orange aviators and into his dark blue eyes and found sincerity.

"Well, I just wanted to thank ye, for that," He said, and the Medic started to feel a bit hot under the collar. She tends to get at least one thank you from every member of her team during a match, but after a match and from the RED Team? The people she was hired to kill, not heal? It was nice, she supposed. "It's not something I would've expected from someone I've been absolutely destroying the entire round," he concluded, and she laughed.

"Alright, now let's get back to our own teams, you buffoon!" She bapped his arm with her fist in good fashion when she was able to recollect herself, which caused Sniper to flinch. He laughed it off, said goodbye, and they both went back to their respective spawn rooms, and teleported to their respective bases, while still thinking about that health packet.

#tf2 #tf2 sniper #tf2 medic #tf2 medic self-insert #tf2 self-insert #tf2 story #part 1 #you get part 1 first #i finished part 2 #you get part 2 tomorrow #it'll be queued so that i dont have to worry about it #lol #Vivian Miller #i forgot that hashtag stfu aaaaaaa

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statistically-unlikely-heavymain · 4 years

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Horror Games

Another fluffy Flashfire piece. 433 words.

Ceasefire days have always been my favorite. For starters, I don’t have to work. I could do what I wanted when I wanted, and of course that’s exactly what I did.

After dinner, I sat myself down in the rec room. I recently bought a new horror game I have been meaning to play for the longest time. It was your basic affair of escape the creepy theme park by gathering items before the big bad monster killed you. Nothing about it was really that scary, but then again I watched enough horror movies to desensitize me to a lot of it.

Usually Pyro spent his nights stargazing on the roof or playing cards with Engie. That day however, it was too overcast to see the sky and Engie was doing nerd stuff with the Doc.

Pyro came in just as I started up the game. They had on their favorite unicorn onesie and some bunny slippers. Curling up next to me on the couch, they put one arm over my shoulders, with the other pulling up the mask just enough for me to clearly hear what they were saying.

“What are you playing?” Pyro asked.

“It’s a new game I bought. Basically you run around a ripoff Disney theme park trying to survive.” I explained, leaning forward in concentration as the opening scene started.

Everything was fine at the start. Pyro snuggled up against me more and more as the game went on. Both of us were wrapped in blankets, staring at the screen. Things went downhill the minute the big bad monster showed up.

It was a bloodied mascot costume that jumped out of nowhere and started chasing my character while laughing. Pyro tensed up all of a sudden and hid under the blankets.

“Py? You okay?” I asked him, pausing the game to check. The poor thing looked terrified; shaking like a leaf and tucked up in a protective ball, “C’mon man, I need you to protect me.”

“Protect you?” they whimpered, tilting their head like a little puppy.

“Yeah, I need the snuggle monster to keep the bad guys away.” I encouraged them.

Pyro nodded, peeking out from out the covers.

“If ya get too scared, I’ll turn it off,” I reassured them, wrapping one arm around them.

“You don’t need to do tha-” Pyro was cut off by a loud scream from the game. They hid their face in my shoulder, clinging to me like I was their lifeline, “How can you play this?!”

I leaned in and kissed their forehead, “I got you here to protect me.”

#tf2 #tf2 scout #tf2 pyro #tf2 flashfire #tf2 scout x pyro #tf2 pyroscout #my writing

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thatsnakeman · 5 years

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drunkenworgen · 5 years

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Pyro: What makes them absolutely livid? Quaestor: How are they with authority? Remus: What’s their favorite pastime?

Ask My OC Stuff

(Accepting!)

Pyro: What makes them absolutely livid?

“S’pose th’easiest way t’describe it would be ‘injustice.’ ‘M no’ talkin’ ‘bout breakin’ th’law or some ‘orseshit like tha’. ‘M talkin’ ‘bout th’overlooked child ‘n th’streets tha’ gets punished fer swipin’ a bloody apple ‘cause she’s ‘ungry an’ cannae afford t’feed ‘erself. Talkin’ ‘bout up’oldin’ th’law t’th’point tha’ it ‘arms people. An’ don’ get me started on those ‘at think they’re better’n everyone else ‘cause they’re noble or a ‘igh rankin’ military official or a religious official or some shit.” Gin pulled out a cigarette at this point, placing it in her mouth and inhaling deeply to light it. “Y’ain’ shit. We all hafta live on this planet, so get over yerself.”

Quaestor: How are they with authority?

“Awful. Ah am authority an’ ah ‘ate it. Ah don’ take orders well. Ah’ll take ‘em, bu’ ah complain th’enitre time. There wus a reason ah left organized military in th’firs’ place, mate.”

Remus: What’s their favorite pastime?

“Drinkin’, huntin’, spendin’ time with m’family. Also do enjoy sketchin’ an’ a bit o’leather workin’, ‘s surprisin’ly calmin’. ‘Course, sometimes ah imagine certain people’s faces in th’leather as ‘m workin’, an’ then it jus’ ruins wotever ‘m workin’ on.”

( @news-nerd )

#Gin answers #newsnerd

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neoraven · 5 years

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NWA TNA Episodes 2+3, June 2002

Here are my thoughts on the next two weekly PPV episodes of NWA:TNA.

this move won two titles

There's a lengthy recap package of last week's major stuff. Sign spotted- "Heyo I’m Drunko 4:20". Same. Don West is wearing the same Hawaiian shirt as they are not hiding that this is the same taping as last "week". A TNA chant overcomes the announcers until Jarrett kicks us off.

Challenge Match Jeff Jarrett vs Scott Hall w/ Jackie Fargo and Toby Keith

At least some Total Nonstop Action starts in the ring. It's a little blatant that Jarrett, the evil heel, is still playing the hero face role. But whatever. Scott Hall is still trying decently hard here. Southern wrestling crowds, god bless 'em, pop pretty huge when Hall reverses a sleeper into a sleeper. The announcers are selling the exchange of punches at the 5 minute mark like it's trading headbutts at minute 29 of a G1 climax match. K-Krush saves Jarrett from The Edge (not U2), and all hell breaks loose at ringside, including a camera man getting run over by Brian Christopher. Eventually Toby Keith low blows Double J before he can pull off The Stroke (phrasing) and the ref doesn't care.

Scott Hall via Angry American in 7 minutes. *1/2

Cheex w/ The Brown Eyed Girl vs Frank Parker

Cheex' gimmick is weighing over 400 pounds. The announcers tell us about Hall/Christopher vs Jarrett/K-Krush next week, and Alicia returns to ringside to get a wad of money from ring announcer Jeremy Borash for some reason. They also put over next week's tag team title tournament during the finish. This is not good.

Cheex via gravity in 2 minutes. 1/4*

Grudge Match K-Krush vs Brian Christopher w/ Hermie Sadler and Sterling Marlin (NASCAR)

K-Krush does not rap to the ring. I'm ready for Ed Ferrara to leave the announce booth. They're giving us a match worthy of 2001 Sunday Night Heat. The NASCAR fellas crotch poor K-Krush with the middle rope to set up the Hip Hop Drop. More faces cheating like heels via celebrities.

Brian Christopher via Hip Hop Drop in 5 minutes. *1/2

Announcers again put over the tag match next week, making the previous bits seem even more meaningless. Well, speaking of important things, time for the Lingerie Battle Royal for the title of Miss TNA. The women are all wearing odd scrubs/pajamas over their lingerie. Sign spotted "NWA Nonstop Whoop Ass"

Lingerie Battle Royal

Forgive me for not catching every move and elimination in order. The announcers are saying too many awful things for me to keep up with. Francine gets triple teamed fairly early and dumped leading to Ed Ferrara abandoning the announcer booth to console her. She starts whipping him with his own belt while the cameramen and announcers ignore the rest of the battle royal in the ring. Taylor Vaughn takes it, Francine strips and whips her anyways.

Taylor Vaughn in 5 minutes. ZERO.

Goldylocks is backstage with Apolo. Bobcat and David Young interrupt her chat and argue until Goldylocks 'cuts' the segment.

Apolo vs David Young w/ Bobcat

Apolo's music sounds like generic Carlos Santana, and David Young's is Motley Crue knockoff. Bobcat distracts David Young by flirting with every official at ringside. David Young hits his spinebuster finisher, but takes too long talking to Bobcat before missing a moonsault and falling to Apolo.

Apolo in 5 minutes via F5/stunner. *1/2

These matches are all kind of short, forgettable nothing affairs. I'm still on board for the X Title thing later, but this is very dire. Speaking of dire, Joel Gertner is in the ring talking about the Rainbow Express and homosexuality.

Rainbow Express w/ Joel Gertner vs The Dupps w/ Fluff Dupp - buuuuut The Dupps refruse to come out, lamenting wrestling hippies and "left-wingers", a frantic official convinces Chris Harris and James Storm to team up and run out.

Rainbow Express w/ Joel Gertner vs Chris Harris and James Storm (Not America's Most Wanted)

What a start to the best tag team storyline I can remember for the length of the TNA Asylum years. After some back and forth, Lenny takes control and tags via kiss to Bruce. They keep control beating up Storm with a couple more kiss tags. Chris Harris is able to get his own clever cheating on to break up Lenny's "Tiger Tamer" submission. After a couple traded roll ups for 2, Harris is able to win yet another 5 minute match.

Harris and Storm in 5 minutes via Miscommunication Rollup. **

Ricky The Dragon introduces the champ, Ken Shamrock. The Sinister Minister finally interrupts a really boring promo asking all the "crackers in Huntsville Alabama to shut up" and introduces his Disciples of the New Church. Malice eventually ends up getting Shamrock with the chokeslam, holding on to the choke part until officials swarm the ring. We finally get to hear the New Church theme song, which is really great. At some point I'm going to add a theme song power ranking to these reviews. X Division time.

Double Elimination Round Robin for the X Division Title AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn vs Low Ki vs Psichosis

AJ comes out to a very bad Born in the USA rip-off. It's some kind of Round Robin / double elimination format, and AJ and Psichosis start us off. Styles survives the Guillotine Leg Drop and then quickly hits the Styles Clash for the first fall in about 2 minutes. Lowki speeds into the ring. AJ takes him out in about 3 minutes flat. Jerry Lynn speeds in, pouncing on AJ Styles and hitting a Cradle Piledriver in about 10 seconds. Psichosis enters the ring with a dropkick on poor Jerry Lynn's head. Jerry ends a fun sprint with the cradle piledriver in about 3 minutes. Psichosis is now eliminated. Low Ki and Jerry Lynn start going at it. Don West is calling this the greatest show on earth every other move. Low Ki reverses the cradle piledriver into an armbar, but still gets a gut wrench power bomb. After 4 minutes, Jerry reverses Low Ki's muscle buster finisher into a sick DDT, and cradle piledrives him away. AJ is in the ring, and we're down to two. Styles has to get two falls on Lynn to capture the title and end the match. The young gun is throwing everything at Jerry and getting 2 counts. The Styles Clash finally gets Lynn away after another 4 minutes. Ricky Steamboat rolls in the ring as the final fall begins. They tease a couple double knockout spots before brawling to the outside, including Styles hitting a moonsault reverse DDT from the apron. AJ Styles wriggles out of a spinning vertebreaker, then Lynn hits some kind of powerbomb facebuster for 2. AJ gets out of the cradle piledriver, and survives a brainbuster by Lynn. The last fall is really benefitting from some time to breathe after the early blitz. Lynn's superplex only gets 2, frustrating the veteran. Lynn goes back up top but AJ is able to fight him off and hit the Spiral Tap, which is odd to see as a higher-tier finisher than the Clash, and it beats Lynn after 10 minutes.

AJ Styles finally eliminates Jerry Lynn via Spiral Tap after 27 minutes to become the new and first X Division champion. ****1/4 Easily the best match in the short history of TNA, and worthy of the double taping main event.

The crowd goes wild, pyro, terrible Born in the USA theme blares, Ricky raises both of their hands. Tenay puts over all the tag team action and Shamrock vs Malice next week at ringside.

EPISODE 3

I lied, we are not actually at the TNA Asylum yet. We are live from the Municipal Auditorium in Nashville for a one night tag team tournament though to crown the tag champions.

Tag Tournament Match Cowboy James Storm and Chris Harris vs The Johnsons w/ Mortimer Plumtree

The announcers put over that the future America's Most Wanted was a last-minute addition last week. We are blessed with a Mortimer Plumtree promo on the way to the ring. Sign spotted: LET'S GO DICK. Also, the announcers are now calling him "Wildcat" Chris Harris. The Johnsons look infinitely better here than their first match. However, the Johnsons suffer a flash pin after the future AMW hits a good crossbody/dropkick combo move in 5 minutes. ** The Johnsons beat up their nerd manager when he tries to spank them after the match.

Scott Hall comes out to a live mic wearing an elementary school t-shirt. Jeff Jarrett interrupts with the zinger "Hey yo my ass!" The NWA President gets sweaty and yells at Jarrett; this heel vs authority storyline never makes sense. K Krush attacks Hall during the confusion unsuccessfully. Goldylocks is with a bloodied Chris Harris in the back.

David Jobber vs Monty Brown

The poor jobber in the ring doesn't get an entrance and also gets a last name drowned out by Monty Brown's entrance as we are introduced to The Alpha Male. He runs through a few impressive power moves in 2 minutes and ends with a fallaway powerbomb. 1/2*

Goldylocks is looking for Jim Miller backstage. The Hot Shots have no idea. Puppet the Psycho Dwarf is angry and not leaving tonight until he makes a midget bleed.

Tag Tournament Match Rainbow Express w/ Joel Gertner vs Buff Bagwell and Apolo

The surprise no one ever wanted: Buff Bagwell. Alicia comes down during the match to get some cash from Ed Ferrara. The Stuff botches a cross body out of the ring awkwardly after a few minutes of boring action. Apolo and Buff hit their finishers, but the latter walks into a superkick that ends it in 7 minutes. *1/2 I think this means there's a rematch from last week for the tag titles. Apolo seemingly abandons Buff after the match, then he whines about being called Marcus since Buff has ruined his career.

Ken Shamrock comes out with a mic and the belt. He gets heavy WHAT chants as he goes over all the challengers he's already concerned with for his title, including the new Monty Brown. Thankfully, the lights cut him off and the Sinister Minister appears in section C3. The lights come back on showing Malice standing over a writhing in pain Ken Shamrock.

Goldylocks is backstage talking to NWA officials and Jerry Lynn about the tag situation, but he shoos them away.

Midget Showcase Match Puppet vs Stone

Sign spotted: Midgets scare me. Puppet issues an open challenge answered by vanilla dork Stone who slowly gets in the ring and takes a few weapons shots. Puppet wins with a TKO on a trash can after 3 minutes, then attacks the ref, the announcer, and Stone some more. Don West offers a high five and gets kendo sticked in the face. *

Francine vs Miss TNA Taylor Vaughn

Francine starts belt whipping Taylor immediately until the ref pulls it away. Taylor steals the belt from the ref and then whips Francine to the ground until the ref tries to take it back, then whips him too. The ref throws out the match before it starts. Zero.

Hermie Sadler comes out for another nothing segment until K-Krush interrupts in a hilarious t-shirt with a huge airbrushed image of his face. He talks smack until Hermie walks away and unleashes a spear on the entrance ramp. They get pulled apart and K-Krush challenges for next week.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match Ken Shamrock (champ) vs Malice

A very sweaty Ken Shamrock saunters to the ring and Malice takes control stomping and beating immediately as the announcers put over that Shamrock is not at 100%. After a slow round of ringside brawling, Shamrock hits his signature moves ending with the belly to belly to pin Malice in 6 minutes and keep the title.

NWA X Division Championship Match AJ Styles (champ) vs David Young w/ Bobcat

Not sure why David Young deserves a title match after losing last week, but oh well. The Bobcat thing is still going on. AJ Styles hits some great stuff, and Young even does a nice middle rope moonsault to the outside that gets a 2 count in the ring. There's another good exploder suplex into the corner for 2. Young mostly keeps control despite some flurries from AJ. After going back and forth, Young spikes a great twisting spinebuster for only two. AJ rebounds from Young's finisher and ends up winning with a second rope Styles Clash in 9 minutes. **1/2. Pretty solid match, but it felt like AJ was in too much trouble in his first defense over a mostly jobber. David Young and Bobcat have more drama in the ring as the latter celebrates the loss.

Gertner and the Rainbow Express celebrate being the Tag Team champs in the back since all the teams are injured.

NWA Tag Team Championship Match The Rainbow Express w/ Joel Gertner vs Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles

Borash announces they must have opponents. Jerry Lynn spends a lot of time getting worked over by Rainbow Express while AJ sells his immediately previous title defense. The cradle piledriver gets reversed thanks to Gertner, and at long last, AJ Styles gets the hot tag and starts to go wild. Everything breaks down and Lynn hits the cradle piledriver inside and then takes the other tag member outside. AJ Styles hits Spiral Tap as Gertner trips over himself trying to break up the pinfall and they win in 11 minutes. *** Very solid match, setting up a cool simple story and putting AJ Styles even further over as a star and double champ.

Main Event Tag Match Jeff Jarrett and K Krush vs Scott Hall and Brian Christopher

We start almost immediately with a crowd brawl. Hall and Jarrett trade punches in the TNA Girls' Dancer Cages. They eventually circle back to ringside and Hall throws Jarrett across the announcer table. Christopher misses a Hip Hop Drop and after Hall and Jarrett finally return to ringside, it slowly settles back into a tag match. The bad guys isolate Hall for a really long beatdown segment. After an agonizing 10 count, Christopher gets tied up with the ref in the corner and misses a Hall tag attempt. Hall makes it back at long last and Brian pulls his hand and decks Hall. He still cleans house, including a ref bump, as it degrades into a 1v3. He drops K Krush with an Outsider's Edge, but Jarrett gets saved and goes right into the Stroke, plus a Brian leg drop for good measure. Jarrett pins at 12 minutes. *1/4. The turn was good and somewhat saved the idiotic middle of the match, but it still went on way too long.

The bad guys celebrate, with Jeff getting real "You ain't worth a shit!" He takes the dumb trophy from the opening and cracks it over Scott Hall as his stealth face turn continues. Double J continues talking about whooping the whole Titans offensive line as they sell Hall's injuries on a stretcher, with an elbow drop out of the ring added on. He exits after pushing Hall's stretcher off the entrance ramp just for good measure.

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