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knightsofsomethingorother · 8 months

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Episode 04 - Even Knights have to Eat

"Merlin are you sure this bird knows what it's talking about?"

"Unlike human beings birds do not know HOW to lie."

EXCELLENT START TO AN EPISODE. After that Merlin opens by summoning a storm and blasting it with magic. Anyway Arthur makes the below face twice and they reuse the same gasp for both.

So their quest is to find the "keys of thruth" so they can get the real King Arthur and his knights back, which I am excited to see because I desperately want to know which knights they'll pick, or if they'll name them at all. Also this means that the real Arthur is getting cucked by his... doppleganger? Reincarnated self? I am also very excited to see if Arthur King gets cucked by Lance. That thought is the only thing getting me through this.

Merlin exposits some more about how each knight has their own key to unlock, so I guess each football boy is going to have his own episode dedicated to his character. Interesting! Can't wait until we get to the very racist depiction of an Asian guy.

Anyway Morgana feels a disturbance in the force aaand more exposition. Yay. This is also a good time to stop and say that Morgana deserves a WAY better and dumber outfit. She's the main baddie and all of her henchmen have stupid outfits and she looks... fine. Which is a TRAGEDY. This woman deserves SPIKY SHOULDER PADS at the very least!

The plot for this is that Arthur... *squints* Gallop, Breeze, and... Phil won't be allowed food or quarter from the peasantry, who we've only seen once and he was evil. Implying that the lower classes are all on the baddies side which is interesting! I'm sure they'll do something interesting with this!

We get a super long transformation sequence and a super long fight scene with that same music and 'guys shouting' audio. It's also revealed that Arthur picked the guys with the silliest voices to come with him to find his Key of Truth. Two of the baddies get knocked into each other and... Guy with vaguely southern accent said 'You two make a looovely couple!'

Next up they find a man being assailed by three little goblin guys with Mexican accents who then beat up Guy with Southern Accent who I think is either Phil or Gallop?

Then the goblin's accents change as it's revealed that the peasant accidentally stumbled on their territory. The goblins run off, the peasant tells Arthur about the 'don't allow quarter' thing, then the show surprises me with a bit of continuity and Arthur demands proof that the peasant is loyal. The proof is that Merlin's bird lands on him and that's good enough for Arthur.

So basically we aren't doing anything interesting conflict here. Are we? Thanks, I love it.

They get some food from these peasants and southern voice guy is revealed to be Phil! We have another name to a face! The baddies show up and the football boys decide to hide so they won't know the peasants helped them. I mean they could just take these two back to Camelot or fucking... kill/imprison the dudes that they've been kicking the asses of this whole time, but sure. Whatever.

TIME TO HIDE IN SOME HAY.

The baddies show up, kidnap the peasant's wife. And then Phil gets pissed off and announces that he's going to save her while the other three hold him back, showing both Agency and a Character Trait. He is thusly launched into #1 character status. I can't wait to see how long he holds it.

Phil comes up with a plan to be delivered to the baddies by the peasant and then once the prisoner trade happens he'll fight his way out. The other three offer nothing and decide to 'add something else' to his plan. The baddies take Phil and the peasant hostage and then the goblins phase out of the ground to offer their help because... AND FOLLOW ME ON THIS.

-The football boys saved the peasant who was being ganged up on (the guy admitted to trespassing btw)

-Arthur then 'spared their lives'

SURE OKAY FINE. DEUS EX MACHINA WHY NOT?

We've got another fucking fight scene, can't delay that! Fight scenes that have zero tension because all of the football boys can summon giant animals from their shields. If I was a little boy watching this in the 90s, I'd probably be more annoyed about that than I am today.

But yeah, the goblins open up holes beneath the baddies feet, Phil and the peasants are freed, Phil joins the fight, aaand we're done. Phil gets to knock two guys over and fight the bird baddie for like 2 seconds. GREAT. THANK YOU.

Everyone learns about Loyalty or something.

Anyway this next part legit pissed me off.

So they find the key, and Phil goes for it. Being the guy who exhibited the most Loyalty in this Loyalty-based episode it would make sense for this to be HIS key.

NOPE. IT JUST MELTS. OKAY.

He can't touch it because that's ARTHUR'S key. His specifically. This sucks ass! Phil epitomized the lesson, he got the most focus aside from Arthur, and he had a bunch of silly shots. I wasn't expecting a lot from this show but it would have been SIMPLE to say 'oh yeah he was the loyalest guy here and got the key because he was worthy of it, guess it wasn't Arthur's'. Boom, done, lesson's packed up with a bow and now they never have to use Phil in a main role again reducing cast bloat. It isn't groundbreaking, but it works and it's narratively satisfying, which is all it needs to be.

Not Bohbot, though. Not Knights of Justice. My man Phil got robbed. 0 goblins phasing through reality out of 5.

On to the next episode, Assault on Castle Morgana.

Bus Boy! (I'm not calling him Lug) Glad to see you again! He exhibits cowardly traits as they are attacked. This is surely set up for payoff later. Right? Right???

You're not going to wound me twice in one night, are you Knights of Justice?

So yeah. Fight scene where nobody uses their shield animals. Camelot the STONE building is set on fire by... rocks that were set on fire. I guess stone is just flammable here. That's honestly the least of nitpicks here.

Anyway the football boys decide to go on the offense and attack Castle Morgana and the baddies capture a unicorn. Roll with it.

This unicorn looks rad by the way? I mean I get that they made it explicitly more 'masculine' to appeal to little boys but we aren't here to examine that sort of thing. I like this high school mascot of a horse.

Then Merlin's shit starts floating and that can "only mean one thing. A unicorn's been captured." There's an explanation but I'm overlooking that in favor of the first funny joke in this show.

Things are starting to look up!

Merlin exposits some more, there's some stuff with the squires and... Holy shit they're strategizing?

THEY'RE STRATEGIZING, GUYS!

Send a decoy in through a sea-level entrance and sneak in through an entrance up at the top. Wild. An actual plan. Arthur brings along BOTH black guys, the largest meathead, and Bus Boy who looks down about something. We might have a good episode (for this show) on our hands! Maybe the black guys will get some character beyond 'black guy'!

Maybe.

This came out in '92 after all.

Now I'm sad. Where were we?

OH MY GOD PEOPLE LIVE IN CAMELOT. Did I start watching a different show? What the fuck is going on?

They leave, there's a fight scene with the guys camped outside Camelot, one of the squires is revealed to have fallen asleep inside one of the... chariots? Chariots. The football boys are upset that Tyrone (the squire, his name's Tyrone by the way) is there despite encouraging other squire (I forgot his name) being encouraged to fight like 2 episodes ago. Tyrone is the squire who beat the shit out of a grown man on his own, by the way.

So the plan works and they're able to sneak in.

They grab Morgana by her forearms, completely depowering her. That's not like a joke on the trope by the way, she apparently channels her magic through her hands and if she can't move them, no magic. Not sure why she couldn't have cast a spell- WAIT.

They don't even need the fucking unicorn! Just grab her ass and run! She's the main villain! THEY, FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES, JUST WON! What the FUCK?

AND NOW THEY'RE IN THE PRISON THE REAL ARTHUR AND CO ARE STUCK IN? This is episode 5 our of 26 why are they blowing their load this early?! What's going on?!

Oh.

Okay.

She just slipped out of their grasp and ran away. Nnneat.

Anyway real Arthur tells football!Arthur to leave him, go find the unicorn, and trust Exaclibur or some shit.

Aaand I guess Bus Boy can summon Cthulu judging by his shield! Good for him! He saves Tyrone and the unicorn and everyone goes home. The unicorn caches them about halfway back and uses the telepathy it (and Real Arthur apparently) have to thank them and tell them that it'll tell ALL ANIMALS that they're on the football team now.

So starting with the good. The first 2/3rds of this episode were solid, there was a single funny joke, and Bus Boy never outright said 'gee golly I wish I was more courageous I sure am a sad pathetic loser'.

The bad. They should have won the television show. They had the big bad and her second RIGHT THERE. That's just writing yourself into a corner. They didn't NEED to put in the part where they just fucking... caught the bad guy and depowered her. They could've just gone for the unicorn and had some traps or spooky poltergeist stuff going on to scare Bus Boy. Fuck, you could've still shown the real Arthur and co in prison and show the audience that just hitting the weird crystals they're stuck in doesn't work, reinforcing the importance of the Keys of Truth.

They could've done any number of things but they went with the single most frustrating of all possible options to piss me off 31 years later specifically. Clearly that's the only logical explanation. They foresaw that a dweeb of an adult would be watching it for a Tumblr Dot Com Blog. Knights of Justice? More like the Knights of... low... stakes and... even lower tension! Ha!

Gottem.

This one's 2 Cthulu shields out of 5.

I'm going to start keeping track of which 3 characters I like the most, starting now:

1- Phil

2- Bus Boy

3- Tyrone

#bohbot #KA:TKJ #old cartoon review #arthurian shitposting #long post

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sh0rtins0mniac · 2 months

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Who are the hostages still held by Hamas?

On October 7, 2023, 253 Israelis and foreign nationals were kidnapped to Gaza by Hamas and gazan civilians. Since then, 105 were released in a prisioner exchange deal, 4 were released by Hamas and 3 were rescued.

However, 134 remain in captivity (4 of those were kidnapped prior to 2023). A recent investigation has concluded that more than a fifth of the hostages are dead and the fate of some other hostages remains unknown. This video explains how doctors determine which hostages are dead, based on the nature of their injury and by analyising footage and the victims' last phone calls. Additionally, during the operation in Gaza, the IDF has recovered the bodies of a few victims and returned to their families for burial.

Since I couldn't find this all in one place, I've compiled a list of: 1) hostages who are presumed alive; 2) hostaged whose death has been reported/confirmed; 3) hostages who were released or rescued. In the group of hostages presumed to be alive who haven't been released, the youngest is 1-year-old Kfir Bibas and the oldest hostage is Iraqi-born 85-year old Shlomo Mansour.

As we learn more information, I'll continue to update this post.

They need to come back home. I'm hoping for more successful rescue operations soon. Keep them in your thoughts.

Hostages still held by Hamas (presumed alive or fate unknown):

(1) (2) (3)

Abraham Eitan Mor (23)

Abraham Munder (79)

Agam Berger (19)

Alex Danzig (75)

Alexander (Sasha) Trupanob (28)

Alexander Lobanov (32)

Almog Meir Jan (21)

Almog Sarusi (26)

Alon Ohel (22)

Amit Buskila (28)

Amiram Cooper (85)

Andrey Kozlov (27)

Arbel Yehoud (28)

Ariel Bibas (4)

Ariel Cunio (26)

Avera Mengistu (37) – Has been held hostage since 2014

Avinathan Or (30)

Bar Kupershtein (22)

Bipin Joshi (23)

Carmel Gat (39)

Chaim Peri (79)

Chanan Yablonka (42)

Daniel Gilboa (19)

David Cunio (33)

Dolev Yehoud (35)

Doron Steinbrecher (30)

Dror Or (48)

Edan Alexander (20)

Eden Yerushalmi (24)

Eitan Horn (37)

Eli Sharabi (51)

Eliya Cohen (26)

Elkana Bohbot (34)

Elyakim Libman (24)

Evytar David (23)

Gadi Moses (79)

Gali Berman (26)

Guy Gilboa-Dalal (22)

Hamzah Al-Zayadni (22)

Hersh Goldberg Polin (23)

Hisham al-Sayed (35) - Has been held hostage since 2015

Yair Horn (45)

Idan Shivi (28)

Itzhak Gelenter (56)

Itzhk Elgarat (68)

Kaid Farhan Elkadi (53)

Karina Ariev (19)

Kfir Bibas (1)

Lior Rudaeff (61)

Liri Albag (18)

Matan Angrest (21)

Matan Zangauker (24)

Maxim Herkin (35)

Michel Nisenbaum (59)

Muhammed Alatrash (40)

Naama Levy (19)

Nadav Popplewell (51)

Nimrod Cohen (19)

Noa Argamani (26)

Oded Lifshitz (83)

Ofer Kalderon (53)

Ohad Ben Ami (55)

Ohad Yahalomi (49)

Omer Neutra (22)

Omer Shem Tov (21)

Omer Wenkert (22)

Omri Miran (46)

Or Levy (33)

Ori Danino (24)

Oryon Hernandez (30)

Rom Braslavski (19)

Romi Gonen (23)

Ron Benjamin (53)

Sagui Dekel-Chen (35)

Samuel Keith Siegel (64)

Segev Kalfon (25)

Shiri Bibas (32)

Shlomi Ziv (40)

Shlomo Mansour (85)

Tal Shoham (38)

Tamir Nimrod (19)

Tsachi Idan (51)

Yagev Buchshtab (34)

Yagev Kirsht (34)

Yarden Bibas (34)

Yoram Metzger (80)

Yosef Al-Zayadni (53)

Yosef Ohana (23)

Ziv Berman (26)

Hostages confirmed/reported dead:

(Note: I couldn't find a report with the full list, but if you google each individual name you can find sources.)

Alon Shamriz (26) – Mistakenly killed by the IDF

Arye Zalmanovich (85) - Death reported by Hamas. He was forced to appear in a propaganda video.

Asaf Hamami (41)

Aviv Atzili (49)

Daniel Oz (19) - Killed on Oct. 7. Status updated on 25/02/24

Daniel Perez (22) - Killed on Oct. 7. Status updated on 17/03/24

Dror Kaplun (68)

Eden Zecharya (28)

Eitan Levy (53)

Elad Katzir (47) - Murdered by the Palestinian Islamic Jihad. His body was recovered in Khan Yunis. Status updated on 06/04/24.

Eliyahu Margalit (75)

Gad Haggai (73)

Guy Iluz (26)

Hadar Goldin (32) - Body held hostage since 2014

Ilan Weiss (56)

Inbar Haiman (27)

Itay Chen (19) - Killed on Oct. 7. Status updated on 12/03/24.

Itay Svirsky (35) – Killed by Hamas in captivity. His body was shown in a propaganda video

Joshua Loitu Mollel (21) – A released video shows how he was brutally murdered by a group of men on October 7

Judy Weinstein (70)

Kiril Brodski (19)

Maya Goren (56)

Mordechai Yonathan Samerano (21) - His body was taken to Gaza

Nik Beizer (19)

Noa Marciano (19) – Her body was found near the Al-Shifa hospital

Ofir Tzarfati (27)

Ofra Keider (70)

Oren Goldin (34)

Oron Shaul (30) – Body held hostage since 2014

Ran Gvlli (24)

Ravid Katz (41)

Ron Scherman (19)

Ronen Engel (54)

Sahar Baruch (24) – Killed by Hamas during a failed hostage rescue operation

Samer Talalka (22) – Mistakenly killed by the IDF

Shay Levinson (19)

Shani Louk (22) - Body taken to Gaza

Tal Chaim (42)

Tamir Adar (38)

Tomer Ahimas (20)

Uriel Baruch (35) - Status updated on 26/03/24

Yair Yaakov (59) – Sons and girlfriend were released; murdered on Oct. 7

Yehudit Weiss (65) – Her body was found near the Al-Shifa hospital

Yossi Sharabi (53) – His dead body was shown in a propaganda video

Yotam Haim – Mistakenly killed by the IDF

Ziv Dado (36)

Released/rescued hostages:

(1) (2)

Abigail Edan, 4, American citizen

Ada Sagi, 75

Adi Shoham, 38

Adina Moshe, 72

Agam Goldstein-Almog, 17

Aisha Ziyadne, 17

Alma Avraham, 84

Alma Or, 13

Amit Shani, 15

Amit Soussana, 40

Anucha Angkaew

Aviv Asher, 2, German citizen

Aviva Adrienne Siegel, 62

Bancha Kongmanee, Thai national

Bilal Ziyadne, 18

Boonthom Phankhong, Thai national

Buddee Saengboon, Thai national

Chalermchai Sangkaew

Channa Peri, 79

Chen Goldstein-Almog, 48

Clara Marman, 63, Argentine citizen

Daniel Aloni, 44

Dafna Elyakim, 15

Doron Katz Asher, 34, German citizen

Ditza Heiman, 84

Emilia Aloni, 5

Emily Toni Kornberg Hand, 8

Emma Cunio, 3, Argentine citizen

Erez Calderon, 12, French citizen

Eitan Yahalomi, 12, French citizen

Ela Elyakim, 8

Fernando Marman – Rescued by the IDF

Gabriela Leimberg, 59, Argentine citizen

Gal Goldstein-Almog, 11

Gal Tarshansky, 13

Gelienor (Jimmy) Pacheco, 37, Filipino national

Hagar Brodetz, 40

Hanna Katzir, 77

Hila Rotem Shoshani, 12

Ilana Gritzewsky Kimchi, 30

Irena Tati, 73, a Russian citizen, was included on the list but released separately from the exchange deal.

Itay Regev Jerbi, 18

Juckapan Sikena

Judith Raanan, 59 [Released 22/10/23]

Karina Engel-Bart, 51, Argentine citizen

Keren Munder, 54

Komkrit Chombua

Kong Saelao

Liam Or, 18

Liat Beinin Atzili, 49, American citizen

Luis Har – Rescued by the IDF

Manee Jirachart

Margalit Mozes, 78, German citizen

Maya Regev Jirbi, 21

Meirav Tal, 53

Mia Leimberg, 17, Argentine citizen

Mia Shem, 21, French citizen

Mika Engel, 18, Argentine citizen

Mongkhol Phajuabboon, Thai national

Moran Stela Yanai, 40

Natalie Raanan, 17 [Released 22/10/23]

Nattaporn Onkaew

Natthawaree Moonkan, Thai national

Naveh Shoham, 8

Nili Margalit, 41

Noam Avigdori, 12

Noga Weiss, 18

Noam Or, 17

Noralin Babadilla, 60, born in the Philippines

Nurit Cooper [Released 24/10/23]

Ofri Brodetz, 10

Ohad Munder, 9

Or Yaakov, 16, German citizen

Ori Megidish – Rescued by the IDF

Oriya Brodetz, 4

Owat Suriyasri, 40, father of two

Ofelia Adit Roitman, 77, born in Argentina

Ofir Engel, 17, Dutch citizen

Paiboon Rattanin

Pattanayut Tonsakree

Phonsawan Pinakalo

Ra’aya Rotem, 54

Raz Ben-Ami, 56, German citizen

Rimon Kirsht Buchshtav, 36

Raz Asher, 4, German citizen

Ron Krivoi, 25, an Israeli-Russian citizen, was included on the list, although he was released separately from the exchange deal.

Ruth Munder, 78

Sahar Calderon, 16, French citizen

Santi Boonphrom, Thai national

Sapir Cohen, 29

Shani Goren, 29

Sharon Aloni-Cunio, 34, Argentine citizen

Sharon Hertzman Avigdori, 52

Shiri Weiss, 53

Shoshan Haran, 67

Surin Kesungnoen

Tal Goldstein-Almog, 8

Tamar Metzger, 78

Uthai Sangnuan, Thai national

Uthai Thunsri, Thai national

Wichai Kalapat, 28, Thai national

Wichian Temthon

Withoon Phumee, 33, Thai national

Yaffa Adar, 85

Yagil Yaakov, 12, German citizen

Yahel Shoham, 3

Yarden Roman-Gat, 35, German citizen

Yelena Trupanov, 50, a Russian citizen, was included on the list but released separately from the exchange deal.

Yocheved Lifshitz [Released 24/10/23]

Yuli Cunio, 3, Argentine citizen

Yuval Brodetz, 8

Yuval Engel, 12, Argentine citizen

#israel #october 7 #hamas hostages #hostages #bring them home now #jumblr #compiling all their names was a really emotional process. i did this the day before it was announced yair yaakov was murdered #and had trouble opening the file again #praying and hoping for the rest of the hostages' safe return #please let me know if i made any mistakes and/or forgot any names #as i've said in the post - a lot of info was scattered and i'm afraid i might have missed something #note: 253 was the total number i found in most reports. i don't know if it'll change at the end of the war - since some people were #considered to be held hostage and sadly later it was found they had been killed on oct 7 inside israel #like clemence felix mtenga

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