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darkpoisonouslove · 5 years

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GriffinxCodatorta (I've seen fanart of them before and got curious on your opinions) FaragondaxSaladin GriffinxValtor (even though I'm sure I know) (:

1. Griffin x Codatorta - ????? I have seen that as an idea, too but just… ????? That’s my brain’s reaction. XD I just don’t know how to react to it. Now a big part of that might be because [SPOILERS] Griffin x Valtor is my OTP. But I ship Griffin well enough with other characters so… I guess it’s not that. I wish we knew more about Codatorta so I could make up my mind. But I guess I’ll just have to work with no info at all… again… always! Anyway…

So from what we’ve seen (which is nothing, but I digress) Codatorta doesn’t seem to have a problem with dark magic which I feel is an important thing to consider. Although there was that sort of argument in the first season in the 4kids dub where he might have leaned towards the idea that Griffin knew the Trix were descendants of the Ancestral Witches and let them into Cloud Tower even despite the fact that that was forbidden. … Aaaaand shit, now I’m getting a story idea instead of analyzing.

Okay, real quick (it won’t be) going on a tangent here. That could be a starting point for a relationship between them. He realizes his mistake of even thinking that when he sees how much the whole thing with the Trix affected her and how guilty she felt and he goes out of his way to apologize to her. He says that his opinion got influenced by all those horrible things the Council is trying to blame on her (I’m going off of strictly what you told me about that because I still haven’t read the comics myself) and he’s sorry. And he wants to get to know her better since they’re colleagues and he doesn’t want to make the mistake of misjudging her again. And one thing leads to another and boom, you have a relationship! (Well, that wasn’t so long)

Back to analyzing. Again, we don’t know much about Codatorta and from what I’ve seen the writers couldn’t make up their mind about him either. On the one hand, you have that time when he defeated Saladin at that board game (and Saladin is supposed to be the “wise” one though I feel like the writers kinda forgot that at times, too, but I’m rambling again). And on the other, you have the fight against Kerborg where he was being obstinate and ridiculous by insisting he could handle Kerborg on his own when that obviously wasn’t the case. So I don’t know what to think about it tbh. I feel like he could be a good partner for her to play chess with and maybe someone she can discuss strategies with (though I feel like Faragonda is better suited for that) but we should probably leave it at that.

This got so out of control that it requires a cut. Join me below for even more thoughts:

2. Faragonda and Saladin - you managed to give me the two ships that I’m completely clueless as to how I feel about! XD Guess we’ll figure that out together! Bettter strap in cause it’s story time!

So I was completely shooketh when I read (on Wiki) that Saladin dated both Griffin and Faragonda. And that doesn’t make any sense because I knew that. And I remembered it (not like with Daphne’s existence which I had completely forgotten about tbh). But just… ?!?!?!?!?! My only reaction to that info is… I can’t unsee it. And I know I had an idea about that a few years back but it went down the drain since I wrote down exactly five sentences about it and everything else just got away from me. Which I’m totally okay with btw because it made no sense at all and my portrayal of Faragonda was… inaccurate to say the least (meaning terrible and completely OOC). Spoilers, he ended up with Griffin in that idea but now I’m just ????????? How? What do you mean? That he dated them both?!?!? WHAT?!?!?! So my brain can’t really comprehend that. Like, at all. So bear that in mind for the rest of this.

Now I feel like the different dubs disagree on what exactly happened (whether he was two-timing them or not) and I’m going with what I feel happened. I can’t really see him two-timing them so I think he first dated one (Griffin) and then the other (Faragonda)… which is still so weird considering the relationship they have in the present but whatever. Now I have some headcanons about what exactly happened there but it comes up in one of my fics and so I’m not going to spoil it.

Anyway, on the topic of the ship itself *sigh* I’m still not any closer to figuring out how I feel about it. I feel like they’re good just being friends and WHY DID THE WRITERS HAVE TO BRING THAT UP?! You know, I don’t really see it. (That whole block of text for me to reach that conclusion. Amazing!)

I feel like Saladin isn’t characterized at all for me to be able to draw conclusions about his relationships with anyone really. I have to make up an entire personality for him in order to get invested in his relationships with other characters. And I feel like that’s exactly the problem when it comes to why I’m so detached from him. Like, Griffin and Faragonda have a history together, they have banter and they play off of each other. And even if we didn’t see a lot of their dynamic, we still saw enough in order to be able to draw conclusions about it. We saw them actually react to one another and express opinions about each other and even do convergence (which, I have to admit, is one of my favorite things on the show as it speaks volumes about their friendship). And Saladin is sort of the third wheel in that friendship. There was some mild involvement on his part in season 1 where he apparently acted as a buffer between the two since they weren’t speaking to each other but even then it was just too little to actually tell you anything about his relationship with either one of them. I, personally, like to imagine that he is protective of both of them and cares equally about them and tried to subtly nudge them towards each other (hence why he’d seated them together at that celebration) so that they would finally make up (whatever happened between them because nobody tells you shit about that). Please excuse my rambling but I just had feelings about this so I hope you’ll indulge me on this one and overlook the fact that I veered completely off-topic.

3. Griffin x Valtor - now we’re talking! YES! That’s my ship! It’s my OTP! I will go down with it!

Just like you said, there’s a lot of story there and also a lot of conflict and those are my two favorite things to work with when it comes to writing relationships. So how deep do you want me to go because I’m prepared to take a dive! XD Let’s just start and I’ll stop when I get tired of typing.

So I have a lot of feelings about this so what should we start with? Let’s go with magic because I feel like that was the beginning for them.

They were obviously brought together by magic since they were partners first in that but while the show stops there, I have no such intentions. Since they were partners, I am guessing they did convergence (and it was suggested by the show the way they were drawn in that flashback in 3x10), but not only that. I think they went deeper than that to the point where their magic was so entangled that they had to relearn to do magic on their own after their separation. And that kind of bond can only be accomplished with great trust between them which already resonates in how devastating the fallout was. I feel like Valtor felt betrayed on all levels because she didn’t only leave him as a partner whose magic she knew as well as her own but as a lover whose soul she knew as well as her own. And that means rejection. She saw his darkest parts and left him because of that. And Valtor is totally not one to deal well with rejection. But I feel like the arrogance and anger only cover up how much she actually hurt him. Add on top of that Griffin fighting against him and possibly doing convergence with Faragonda and he’s ready to murder them both out of pure rage and jealousy. Why should Faragonda accept Griffin’s darkness, the darkness he knows is there since he’s seen her soul when Griffin didn’t accept his?

I feel like this also plays in his other insecurities. He was created by the Ancestral Witches to be a monster. He was never given the chance to be anything else. He was supposed to be the most powerful monster that would bring his mothers victory. And when it looked like someone was finally willing to give him the chance to be something else, to love and to be loved, she took back the hand she offered him, confirming that he was a demon undeserving of love and that only pushed him further into the mindset of gaining power and causing destruction. If it is a monster she can’t handle, then a monster he’ll give her.

And then we have Griffin’s PoV on things which is where it gets even more complicated. The choices in that relationship were only hers. Valtor had made his choices a long time ago. He only wanted power and her (which might seem like two things, but the way things were, it was really one thing with two faces. His power drew Griffin to him and she helped him gain more power so the two were inseparable in his mind). I don’t really know where I’m going with this so, please, bear with me! XD I feel like there was this judgment from Griffin towards herself because she was the one to find fault in their relationship. Valtor had settled for what they had, he wanted her which is more than she could have hoped for knowing him. Yet, she is the one that sees an issue, she is the one that is sinking their ship (I couldn’t resist!). And so there’s that additional guilt that she can’t shake off because she was forced to make the hard call. She feels bad enough for betraying him but she knows that was necessary. The universe wouldn’t have survived otherwise. But there was also the guilt of betraying her own heart and, going even further back, of allowing herself to fall in love with him. And yet, she can’t make herself regret that or stop loving him which just brings about more guilt and it’s a never-ending vicious circle. And Faragonda’s understanding and acceptance really doesn’t help (it does help knowing she has support but it only makes her feel worse for choosing to go against him. She abandoned him. How can she accept unconditional support when she wasn’t ready to give it?)

Then we have those seventeen years that are just loaded with quiet, insidious angst that hides deep down. Just imagine Griffin catching herself yearning to see his face again and then her brain turns on and she remembers that he would probably kill her slowly and painfully if he ever escaped from Omega. Or she gets lost into a what-if scenario and then just wants to die because it will hurt less than what she’s doing to herself. And the worst part is she can’t really tell any of that to Ediltrude and Zarathustra. She’s scared of disappointing them. And she’s scared of not disappointing them enough. And again, Faragonda’s acceptance helps as much as it frustrates her because she shouldn’t be having these thoughts. He hates her. He will destroy her. And the entire universe. Why is she still in love with him? (Sidenote: I feel like crying now.)

And on Valtor’s end… Oh, I’m so mad that Valtor’s side of the story wasn’t discussed on the show at all. Not even in regards to Griffin’s betrayal. I just wanted some acknowledgement of what he went through. He was frozen in a fucking block of ice for seventeen years while completely conscious, not to mention full of rage and hatred and desire for vengeance. Like, that shit is traumatic no matter who you are. And add into that that his element is the Dragon Fire. They should’ve said something about that but all we got was a throwaway line that just brushed it off because he’s a villain and, for god’s sake, how can you even think of sympathizing with him?! He’s EVIL, dammit! EVIL, I TELL YOU! And what also gets me is that no after effects were shown either. Like, he hasn’t moved for seventeen damn years! His muscles should be atrophied and moving should hurt like hell until he gets reaccustomed to the feeling. But nope! We don’t get any of that because he might just become sympathetic and likable.

And one last thing before I end this since it got out of control like two hours ago. I got a review on one of my fics saying that Valtor locking Griffin up in a cell wasn’t a good enough revenge which I’ve had thoughts on and now seems like a good moment to share since this ask derailed a long time ago and the point is lost somewhere in the blocks of text where no one will find it so what the hell, let’s just throw some more text on top, right? XD

Now as my first point, it’s a cartoon. They couldn’t really do much more than that. They can’t have him kill her or torture her and any more personalized revenge would’ve required more insight when it came to their backstory so that was out of the question! (can you feel the angry?!) But when you actually think about it, I do think that it made sense. She ran away and betrayed him because she wanted to protect the universe and that led to him being imprisoned. So imprisoning her is getting back at her directly but it’s also a kind of torture on its own. She is trapped and can’t do anything to help anyone which was exactly the reason why she betrayed him. In addition, he left her the only one in Cloud Tower not wearing his mark which was very deliberate. If he was doing all of that just for the power of the Cloud Tower residents so that he could use them as minions, it made sense to put her under his control, too, since she’s the headmistress and, therefore, the most powerful person there. But he didn’t. He left her in control of her own thoughts and actions, and conscious so that she could feel the horror of his revenge, knowing that she can’t even help those she was supposed to protect and guide. Hell, she can’t even protect herself. And that was the only reason he even took over Cloud Tower. After Griffin was rescued by Winx, he just got up and left, releasing the witches from his control since, if you really look at it well, he didn’t really need them for his plans. Only for his revenge against Griffin. So that was actually a good example of great but too subtle writing that the show pulls off plenty of times. And then you have the disastrous writing from my previous point. I don’t wanna be salty, but why is the writing so inconsistent?!

I’m just gonna leave it off here because my brain will stop working and I think this got long enough already. So yeah, in conclusion, I have a lot of feelings on the matter.

#winx club #winx codatorta #winx griffin #winx faragonda #winx saladin #winx valtor #griffin x codatorta #faragonda x saladin #griffin x valtor #there's some griffin x saladin lurking in there #ask #trashcankitty12 #ships #wow what did i do with this?

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callie-the-snarky-geek-blog · 5 years

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RvB16 Episode 14 Review: Lights Out

(Old Post Review)

Well guys, two episodes to go. To say that last week was heavy would be putting it lightly. So then with all that’s happened so far… what next? Well… it’s no kinder than it was last week, I can tell you that!

Overview

We start with Tucker on the same balcony that Atlas was in Episode 11, clearly thinking to himself. Sister comes in to check on him, commenting on how he left the door open and Tucker commenting on how thoughtless he is. He then proceeds to apologize to Sister for calling her frigid. Sister accepts this, even explaining about how when a teenager she was chubby… and still is but she was insecure about it back then, especially with everyone around her banging around. She feels better about herself now (which chubby Kai is canon baby!) but the word brought her back to that place. Also she mentions that she went to Wailuku High, which Wailuku is in Hawaii so we now have canon conformation in-show that Grif and Sister are from Hawaii! Whoo!

Tucker proceeds to apologize for how he acted in general, knowing that he acted on his feelings in the wrong way. Sister forgive shim, even apologizing for how she snapped (but not about what she said, which is good) but makes it clear that any feelings that she had for Tucler are snuffed. Tucker just accepts that as another hting that he fucked up. He fucked over Sister, he fucked over England, and worst he fucked over Wash. He describes how it felt when he watched Wash get shot and how he blames himself for it and now the resulting consequences. Sister points out that it wans’t his job to babysit Wash, but does remind him that he’s got two option. He can either do nothing and keep the pity party going, or he can try to save Wash by… going back in time… no… no no nooooo.

Yeah, Tucker takes the latter option. To be fair, he does have some reasoning behind it. Donut took the Hammer, so they can’t reinforce the prison and Chrovos is likely gonna be freed anyways. So sine they can’t stop it and have the guns still why not use them and take the risk for Wash Carolina agrees, even pointing out that both no consequences have presented themselves and since Loco was able to make a time machine, someone else probably can and it’ll happen all over anyways. Wash got hurt. They have a way to prevent it and save him. So why not take the risk?

Everyone agrees, but Grif is silent. He earlier commented on having deja vu about the current conversation, but whether he means that it feels like they just talked about time travel or something else iDK. But ultimately he agrees as Wash would d the same for them. Unfortunately, Huggins heard hima nd she’s angry that they’re going to allow the universe to topple over. Grif apologizes and legitimately feels bad, but he says that it’s for their friend. He even accepts that Huggins has no choice but to tell Atlus and that he’s going to be pissed. Huggins leaves and the Reds and Blues go as well, Grif just staring at the spot one more time before saying bye. BTW, Geoff’s delivery here is the most serious I think he’s ever been with Grif… aND IT MADE ME CRY! THANKS A LOT GEOFF YOU ASSHOLE!

Before Huggins can get to Atlus, she’s stopped by Genkins, who gets after her for speeding in the halls. She explains what happened, but Genkins tells her to not inform Atlus. Why? IDK, but as Huggins is confused, the bastard pulls out what I guess is a black hole generator. He fires it at Huggins and sucks her into it. Well… Atlus DID mention in Episode 5 about the possibility of a traitor. Guess that we can confirm that Genkins told the truth and it was indeed him. He goes back to the other Gods, whoa re making final preparations for armor and such for the Reds and Blues for when they agree to the task.

Unfortunately, Muggins comes in and confirms that not only are the Reds and Blues gone, but Huggins is seemingly dead as he can no longer sense her. Atlus is NOT happy as Kalirama tells Muggins that she’s sorry for his loss. Muggins proceeds to give a monologue about how often, we realize how much we care about our friends when it’s already too late and how often, they’re the ones we hurt the most. It’s a very well written and well delivered piece, I liked it. As Muggins talks, we see that Wash seemingly went back to Chorus (I think) and is simply walking the streets alone. The others appear to be back on Iris, preparing to go back to the gunfight in S15 Episode 17 to prevent Wash from getting shot.

Atlus has claimed down, saying that all that can really be done is hope that by some miracle, the Reds and Blues succeed. But at that moment, the Fates mentioned in Epsiode 5 appear. They don’t have good news. Also I love the way that the Fates are presented. Destiny, the leader, speaks in cryptic riddles in an almost emotionless tone as the other two sing/echo her. It is eerie as Hell and I LOVE it. To put it simply, the have seen the future and it looks like the end. If the Reds and Blues succeed, then the universe is as good as dead.

Review

I knew ever since this seasons tarted that by the time we got near the end, it was going to go from silly time traveling hijinks to something far mroe serious. It’s kind of a pattern since Season 7 acted the same way for the second half of Recollection, and Season 11 started that way for The Chorus Trilogy. I can safely say that it looks like that is indeed the direction that Joe is heading for, and it hurts. Don’t get me wrong, this was a very well done episode. The intense atmosphere was spot on, especially with the ending and it looks like we are heading into one Hell of a finale. It’s also a complicated dilemma, either risk a Time God being free or use what you have to save your friend. Clearly the wrong decision was made, but you can understand why. Still, man it… it hurt. A lot.

Lets talk Tucker and Sister. I really liked their scene. It’s the first time we’ve seen them actually been civil since Episode 4. I’m glad that Tucker admitted that how he acted was wrong and calling Sister frigid was wrong. I know a lot feel that he regressed, but I think that he simply got carried away with everything and lost sight of what was important until Sister’s verbal beatdown and when the news about Wash hit. Regardless of how you feel about it, it is good that he admitted that he was wrong and I’m glad that Sister ultimately forgave him. I also like that she still isn’t interested in him because she has every right to and that she didn’t apologize for what she said. She apologized for getting heated, but not about her argument, which is good because she was absolutely justified. Still, it’s good to see them talk like actual adults and even get some backstory drop about Sister’s time in high school. This is very much a character driven season, not a plot driven one, and I really like that.

I also really feel for Tucker. We all know that what happened to Wash was not his fault. Tucker was even trying to get him away from the crossfire, but it just happened. Tucker feels like a screw up and like no matter how hard he tries to be better or not act that way, he ultimately does act like a jerk and something bad happens due to it. He can recognize his fault and accept it, but it feels like he doesn’t know how to change it and due to it, just repeats the same mistakes. Which is how it is for a lot of people, many of us know our fault and we try to fix them, but it takes time and we do repeat the same mistakes. Now I don’t think that them going back to save Wash is going to end well. At all. Honestly, I worry that all they’re gonna do is cause it to being with. I also don’t think that present Wash is going to be happy about it, but we’ll just have to see.

Then lets talk about Grif because OMG IT HURTS. First, there’s his comments about deja vu. I really don’t know if it’s anything to worry about, but I saw someone’s theory about Grif being stuck in a timeloop. I think that wouldn’t make sense unless his memory got wiped before all of this and now it’s coming back, which raises the question on how he got in a loop to begin with. It would be interesting and at this point, I could see Joe do it. But… IDK, it seems too complicated right now. But we’ll see what happens cause I do think that Grif is more or less the main protagonist of this arc, so chances are whatever happens, he’s gonna be the one tasked with fixing it. I could be wrong though.

Everything with him and Huggins though, OMG. I’ve made it no secret that Grif and Huggins’ friendship is probably my favorite thing to come out of this season. It was cute, it made sense, and it was nice to see Grif have someone to confide in. It legitimately seemed to help him improve himself as up to now, he was much happier, was taking things seriously, and actually focusing on the problem. Huggins has a very positive influence on him, and you can tell just form his tone that he feels horrible for turning his back on her. Seriously, Geoff’s delivery was absolutely flawless. I don’t think I’ve heard him be that solemn when performing Grif, not even last season. but you can feel how bad Grif feels, but he also wants to help his other friends, including Wash. Again, it is such an emotional dilemma. We know that going back i time isn’t going to end well, but what other choices do they have? They’re screwed anyways and Wash doesn’t deserve this. They can risk it just to help their friend, right?

But yeah, that entire moment hurt. Like Grif’s little ‘bye’ legit made me tear up. I feel horrible for Huggins too because from her point of view, Grif just lied to her the whole time and nothing that she said, as well as the friendship that they formed, ultimately meant nothing. We know that isn’t true, but I can’t blame Huggins at all for being upset. Also… there is no way that she is dead. For one, now she knows that Genkins is the traitor and likely this is just setup for her to call him out eventually. But whenever a ‘death’ is made so sudden like that and it isn’t a villain/someone random, is is almost always a fake-out. IDK what exactly happened to her, maybe she’s on the other end of the universe or something, but I expect her to come back and for her and Grif to hopefully make-up eventually. I hope so at least…

So this was our penultimate episode, and has setup the finale well. The Reds and Blues are going to attempt to go back to the gunfight in S15 and try to save Wash. I think they’re either going to fail or even worst, cause it since we never saw who hit Wash and therefore Joe can easily make one of the guy misfire and hit him themselves. I’d say maybe it’s gonna be Tucker and the reveal that he shot Flowers was foreshadowing, but IDK. I do wonder what present Wash is going to do or what the Cosmic Powers are gonna do since Destiny made it pretty clear that this si going to end badly.

What I am speculating about hat’s going to happen happen is that, however it happens, Wash still gets shot. But the Reds and Blues going back and trying to interfere removes the final brick to the jenga tower so to speak. The reason no one’s seen any consequences is because all that’s happened is time has been pulled apart brick by brick. The tower is unstable, but it hasn’t toppled over yet, so the universe is still okay. This is going to remove the crucial brick that kept everything standing, allowing Chrovos to break free and sparking the end of the universe and creating a paradox. Then next season, the Reds and Blues (or what’s left of them) have a buffer period and they are going to have to fix it while dealing with Chrovos and potentially some angry Cosmic Powers. Either way, I think it’s safe to say that this season is going to end with a bang.

Final Thoughts

This episode did everything that I was hoping for. Tucker admitted that he was wrong and he and Sister have an actual civil chat about everything. The decision to go back in time again isn’t a good one, but is understandable form the guys POV. It was feelsy as Hell and provides a perfect setup for the finale. Speaking of, well guys… one episode to go. Joe said that this one was going to be ‘the double stuffed Oreo’s’ a couple of weeks ago, so it’s gonna be something big. IDK if I’m ready, but… well I’ve made it this far. I’m gonna see how this all ends, and I couldn’t be more terrified if I tried.

#rvb #rvb16 #rvb reviews #old blog repost

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weeaboo-horror-stories · 5 years

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I am bisexual.

When I was in the 4th grade, at age 11, I met this really cute girl. She was about, what, 4'6 ft tall? She was actually my classmate, but I was always socially awkward. It's a long story, but we eventually became friends. She was REALLY smart and hardworking (in our school, if you're an honor student, you're REAALLY smart.) while i was lazy and average. Of course, back then we were still children. (Btw let's refer to her as "Maki" instead) We both loved anime, and we were total weebs. At that time, I was obsessed with Hetalia. I influenced her to watch it, she was a shugo chara fan. Anddd so she also got addicted.

Anyway, I was pretty fond of drawing, and people saluted me for my skills. Maki worshipped me like a God no im sERIOUS and called me "sensei", because i gave her lots of tips. She overestimated me too much. To the point where she neglected her studies just to talk to me. Although, I myself did not notice that. She always told me that she never had a true friend, and I was her first friend. She always told me that she loved me, and that we will forever be friends until we die.

Her mother started to notice the big drop of our grades, and blamed me for it. She also started talking back to her, although Maki said that she did that back before we were friends.

Fifth and sixth grade came by, (i am from asia, 6th grade is our last year in gradeschool, but we still remain at the same school.) and her mother's anger at me grew, for Maki's behavior became "worse", as Maki explained. She forbid her to see me, and I was hurt. But she still constantly followed me, we were inseparable.

Her mother even asked for a transfer of section in 6th grade, just for her to get away from me. But that didn't work either.

I didn't understand, she still remained an honor student, so what's wrong? I was hurt.

So one day, I confronted her. I wasn't rude, if that's what you're thinking. But she screamed at me and demanded at me to leave her daughter alone right in front of the school's catholic church. She called me a demon. Everyone in the school was looking at her with shame, and looking at me with pity. I shaked the tears off, I didn't want her to see me cry. I left afterwards in tears, it wouldn't stop. The only thing that cheered me up was a friend that went with me in the car (because no driver). She was my childhood friend (first friend too. We've been friends for almost 12 years) let's refer to her as Aka.

I never realized I was bisexual until freshman year came. But that's where the real thing comes.

At that time, the school year was ending, and I told her that maybe we should be apart

I had two reasons for saying that.

One, is because I didn't want her to get hurt anymore. Her mother abuses her. It just hurts me to see her hurt, and yet still smile.

Two, is because I felt odd. I think about her everytime, I go nuts when I don't get to talk to her for a day. I felt so crazy that I didn't know what it was. I had a crush on a boy back then at 4th grade, but the feeling was different somehow. I was so confused.

When I told her to break it for the 3rd time, we did. But afterwards, we came by again. She told me that she was so sad. I didn't know what to feel, so I smiled at it. It was March.

My weeaboo phase ended at that month.

I started to watch different things like the vampire diaries...etc.

Afterwards, I have come to the thought that I had feelings for her, so I told her that we should be acquaintances starting our first year of highschool.

When we found out the people we will be classmates with, I told her to be friends with a certain person (lets call her Eli?)

And so she did.

But, I realized how jealous I was after nearly a month.

She made a bunch of friends, while I...made nothing. But that's not why I was jealous

I was jealous because I wasn't with her everyday like we used to, it's not the same anymore. I felt ignored. So I sent her a message. And she answered with

"Heya~ Recieved ur text but ddnt recive load, im NOT trying to ignore you though, i thought we were aquaintances and yes i knew u helped me a lot and i appreciate u for that but you dnt hav d right to tell me whether to make friends or not, because we have our own lives n i do wat i want when i wanna do it n i wanna make friends so what? I actually did make lots this first few weeks of school already. Plus i dont think we can relate to each other anymore.. I love hetalia & anime still but u've gone out of d fandom n went to TVD n PLL, im not really interested in that though,sorry.I still belive dat anime could be real while u think their jst living in ur comp screen. Im not trying to judge ur opinions because i respect ur opinions owo scouting is actually fun though, its not boring nor tiering at all, its pretty fun >w< i luv it. Believe it or not i still miss you but i dont think we can relate. I hav 2 study everyday n night, my grades matter to me, so please dnt say im trying to ignore u by not going to fb, i jst hav 2 study thats y. I cant be on here all the time n i barely hav time to get on here because im trying to make up for my failing ones.. n my phone dsnt lyk recieving load idk y. btw i sti believe my friends wnt leave me and yeah thats all i gotta say bye see u :)"

I felt offended..somehow

So I confronted her, told her that I wanted us to be friends again. But she didn't want to, for she already got a new set of friends. And of course, I wanted to cry. But I didn't want to show it.

I wanted to shout.

There was another message, it was her apologizing for offending me. Of course, I didn't see that message. But I confronted her the day before, I think she was offended. No...she IS offended. I felt baddd

I don't want to reveal anything else, but I sent her a total of 20+ apology messages through deviantart and facebook from July to March of 2014.

I was seenzoned, and there was so reply.

I cried every night.

I felt so obsessed, stalking her through every site.

I was friends with Eli, and I asked her about what Maki thinks of me. She said that Maki didn't want to talk about it, but she disliked me. Ouch.

Although, Eli DID say that Maki had an older brother and an older sister who was married, but I knew those were big lies. She only had one sister, which was younger than her. I can't believe she lied, she wasnt the type of person to lie.

At January of 2014, I met a guy from the higher batch (can we call him vans). He made me realize that I was bisexual, that I loved Maki.

So, at April of 2014, I sent her my last message. I even confessed to her that I had a crush on her.

But at October (or so) I sent her another message through deviantart, admitting all faults.

I didn't expect her to reply, but when I checked my deviantart page again, she replied.

I'm too lazy to look up what she said, but she said that she forgave me, asked me how I was, and all. But she sent another message that said that we couldnt be together again, but we are good now.

I was so happy that I cried, screamed, and burried myself in the pillow. Literally.

Until now, at sophomore year, I still see her. We're still not classmates, and our classrooms are far from each other, but each time I see her..my heart still tends to ache.

We are from different clubs (she is from the english club, while I am from the art club. If the art club wasn't so full, I think we would've been clubmates.)

Next school year, I have a horrible feeling that we will be classmates, due to the fact that I am pretty sure we took the art course. Our school will sort us by course next year, and I'm not sure what I will do if I were to be her classmate once more. Will I breakdown and cry in front of her? Or smile at her, and fall for her all over again? It's not fair. I still want to see her.

I hope her mother will accept me one day, and I will be able to be close to her once again. I am okay with being "just friends", I just don't want to be apart from her. I hope she understands.

Maki, if you're reading this, thank you. Thank you for letting me experience being loved, feeling loved. I'm sorry for being such a horrible person back then. Thank you so much.

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calliecat93 · 6 years

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RvB16 Episode 14 Review: Lights Out

Well guys, two episodes to go. To say that last week was heavy would be putting it lightly. So then with all that’s happened so far... what next? Well... it’s no kinder than it was last week, I can tell you that!

Overview

We start with Tucker on the same balcony that Atlas was in Episode 11, clearly thinking to himself. Sister comes in to check on him, commenting on how he left the door open and Tucker commenting on how thoughtless he is. He then proceeds to apologize to Sister for calling her frigid. Sister accepts this, even explaining about how when a teenager she was chubby... and still is but she was insecure about it back then, especially with everyone around her banging around. SHe feels better about herself now (which chubby Kai is canon baby!) but the word brought her back to that place. Also she mentions that she went to Wailuku High, which Wailuku is in Hawaii so we now have canon conformation in-show that Grif and Sister are from Hawaii! Whoo!

Everyone agrees, but Grif is silent. He earlier commented on having deja vu about the current conversation, but whether he means that it feels like they just talked about time travel or something else iDK. But ultimately he agrees as Wash would d the same for them. Unfortunately, Huggins heard hima nd she’s angry that they’re going to allow the universe to topple over. Grif apologizes and legitimately feels bad, but he says that it’s for their friend. He even accepts that Huggins has no choice but to tell Atlus and that he’s going to be pissed. Huggins leaves and the Reds and Blues go as well, Grif just staring at the spot one more time before saying bye. BTW, Geoff’s delivery here is the most serious I think he’s ever been with Grif... aND IT MADE ME CRY! THANKS A LOT GEOFF YOU ASSHOLE!

Before Huggins can get to Atlus, she’s stopped by Genkins, who gets after her for speeding in the halls. She explains what happened, but Genkins tells her to not inform Atlus. Why? IDK, but as Huggins is confused, the bastard pulls out what I guess is a black hole generator. He fires it at Huggins and sucks her into it. Well... Atlus DID mention in Episode 5 about the possibility of a traitor. Guess that we can confirm that Genkins told the truth and it was indeed him. He goes back to the other Gods, whoa re making final preparations for armor and such for the Reds and Blues for when they agree to the task.

Review

I knew ever since this seasons tarted that by the time we got near the end, it was going to go from silly time traveling hijinks to something far mroe serious. It’s kind of a pattern since Season 7 acted the same way for the second half of Recollection, and Season 11 started that way for The Chorus Trilogy. I can safely say that it looks like that is indeed the direction that Joe is heading for, and it hurts. Don't get me wrong, this was a very well done episode. The intense atmosphere was spot on, especially with the ending and it looks like we are heading into one Hell of a finale. It’s also a complicated dilemma, either risk a Time God being free or use what you have to save your friend. Clearly the wrong decision was made, but you can understand why. Still, man it... it hurt. A lot.

Then lets talk about Grif because OMG IT HURTS. First, there’s his comments about deja vu. I really don’t know if it’s anything to worry about, but I saw someone’s theory about Grif being stuck in a timeloop. I think that wouldn’t make sense unless his memory got wiped before all of this and now it’s coming back, which raises the question on how he got in a loop to begin with. It would be interesting and at this point, I could see Joe do it. But... IDK, it seems too complicated right now. But we’ll see what happens cause I do think that Grif is more or less the main protagonist of this arc, so chances are whatever happens, he’s gonna be the one tasked with fixing it. I could be wrong though.

Everything with him and Huggins though, OMG. I’ve mad eit no secret that Grif and Huggins’ friendship is probably my favorite thing to come out of this season. It was cute, it made sense, and it was nice to see Grif have someone to confide in. It legitimately seemed to help him improve himself as up to now, he was much happier, was taking things seriously, and actually focusing on the problem. Huggins has a very positive influence on him, and you can tell just form his tone that he feels horrible for turning his back on her. Seriously, Geoff’s delivery was absolutely flawless. I don’t think I’ve heard him be that solemn when performing Grif, not even last season. but you can feel how bad Grif feels, but he also wants to help his other friends, including Wash. Again, it is such an emotional dilemma. We know that going back i time isn’t going to end well, but what other choices do they have? They’re screwed anyways and Wash doesn't deserve this. They can risk it just to help their friend, right?

But yeah, that entire moment hurt. Like Grif’s little ‘bye’ legit made me tear up. I feel horrible for Huggins too because from her point of view, Grif just lied to her the whole time and nothing that she said, as well as the friendship that they formed, ultimately meant nothing. We know that isn’t true, but I can’t blame Huggins at all for being upset. Also... there is no way that she is dead. For one, now she knows that Genkins is the traitor and likely this is just setup for her to call him out eventually. But whenever a ‘death’ is made so sudden like that and it isn’t a villain/someone random, is is almost always a fake-out. IDK what exactly happened to her, maybe she’s on the other end of the universe or something, but I expect her to come back and for her and Grif to hopefully make-up eventually. I hope so at least...

Final Thoughts

This episode did everything that I was hoping for. Tucker admitted that he was wrong and he and Sister have an actual civil chat about everything. The decision to go back in time again isn’t a good one, but is understandable form the guys POV. It was feelsy as Hell and provides a perfect setup for the finale. Speaking of, well guys... one episode to go. Joe said that this one was going to be ‘the double stuffed Oreo’s’ a couple of weeks ago, so it’s gonna be something big. IDK if I’m ready, but... well I’ve made it this far. I’m gonna see how this all ends, and I couldn't be more terrified if I tried.

#rvb #rvb16 #rvb16 spoilers #rvb reviews

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babypunter3000 · 7 years

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The only good things about Netflix’s Death Note Movie

1. Willem DaFoe Green Goblining it up as Ryuk. 2. L for the first half before Watari got Death Noted. 3. The rockin’ soundtrack. 4. The time that-Okay, you know what? No, I can’t even leave just one fully positive post about this you know how much goddamn BULLSHIT it was that Mia/Misa and L were adapted as waaaay more in the wrong than Light was? In the manga and anime, Light was CLEARLY the main bad guy, careening himself farther away from “well-intentioned” and “maybe he has a point” and into “irredeemable soulless fascist dictator” with every chapter and episode. Hell, in the FIRST BOOK AND EPISODE, he clearly states that he will be “the God of this new world,” and his general “I don’t give a general fuck about other people” attitude could already start to be seen. In this adaptation, Light’s all just love and an old soul wise beyond his years who wants to HELP the world out of the goodness of his heart and sense of justice. And at first, it’s not to bad, you think to yourself, “hey, this could be alright. A narrative about how absolute power corrupts absolutely with a kid who only wants to kill the really bad guys, and even then is super freaked out about it. sure, whatever” But no. NO. It NEVER turns that way! Light ALWAYS only kills for “the greater good” and is constantly portrayed throughout this movie as this well-meaning kid who’s just in so much over his head you gu-uys!

Meanwhile, Misa has been taken from her canon form as a devout Kira worshiper who was used and abused by Light to his own ends without a shred of emotion for her and has been turned into the love of Light’s life and THE REAL VILLAIN OF THE STORY! You see, Light didn’t really want to kill all those people and usher in a new era of Kira rule! It was all MIA’S influence and hen-pecking that drove Light to kill all willy-nilly! I mean, there’s this scene in the movie where Mia is showing Light a pro-Kira website where people are suggesting new people for Kira to kill, and Light brings up a point where some of the criminals could just be regular innocent people that have a beef with the poster. Mia basically tells him “Who cares? Any kind of petty crime or personal slight is good enough of a reason to kill for me! Let’s make out!” and they both go on their merry ways writing in the book. Like, fuck the writers for tossing out Light’s original characterization and motives to turn it all into a sexist, lazy, “It was all the EVIL WOMAN’S fault for tempting that poor boy!” narrative. And then Mia is killed off by Light on screen right after they have a fight where she is portrayed in the most clingy, shrewish way possible. She even says that she only killed all those people to get closer to Light. She had no justice-dog in this fight like the original Misa had. She was just in it so that Light would date her, and she somehow turned out to be the most murder-happy one after Light introduced her to the whole thing. And I’m sure that the neanderthal who wrote this drivel is patting himself on the back for writing such a great fucking script. And you’re supposed to feel bad because of course she dies by falling into a giant flower display and of course she has to be pretty when she dies. Fuck you. And while we’re on the subject of this movie going out of it’s way to justify and excuse A MASS MURDERER, let’s talk about how the movie treats L. For the first few minutes of his screen time, I honestly thought they did a good job. True, all he was doing was copying L’s mannerisms from the show and being deductive, but it was nice to see something from the books being portrayed accurately in this tire fire of a movie. But you know how everyone loved the original manga and anime for Light and L’s high stakes game of cat and mouse and how they would constantly one-up the other using their wits and intelligence and plenty of insanely thought out plans? Yeah, that’s also tossed right out the goddamn window in this one. Instead, we get an hour of L and Light basically shouting “Come at me, bro!” and emotionally lashing out at one another until one of them finally does something stupid enough to lose. It’s a race to the goddamn bottom, like the mental version of watching a drunken fistfight in a back alley. There’s no finesse, there’s no skill, just watching two guys shouting, “I KNOW YOU’RE KIRA!” and, “YEAH, WELL, FUCK YOU, KIRA’S THE GOOD GUY AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW ANYWAY?!” at each other for an hour. And L gets such a raw deal in this movie. I think he technically lives at the stupid non-ending (you don’t see Light die in the film, btw. You see Mia die, of course, because she’s an EVIL WOMAN!1! who DESERVED IT!!1, but of course not fucking Light), but even then he has even less dignity than in the manga and anime where he dies halfway through. L, in the manga, anime, and this trainwreck of a film, is the eccentric big-time elusive detective who picks up the task of finding out the identity of Kira to stop him. The only difference is that the manga and anime didn’t go out of their way to fucking destroy him. And I’m not just talking about the plot point in this failure of a motion picture that has Light easily put Watari’s name in the Death Note (yes, Watari is his real name in this and they just parade his name and face around without a worry in the world, I mean, what did you expect to happen?) that puts L into a tailspin. I’m talking about how the narrative treats L, the guy who’s trying to stop A MASS MURDERER from killing, as another bad guy, clearly in the wrong, because Light’s just trying to make the world a better place, yannow? First, he falls apart because Watari is missing and is in the hands of Kira, which okay, I don’t blame him, but he never gets past that. For the rest of the movie, he’s on the verge of tears, he can’t think straight, he’s blinded by emotion. He only manages to figure out a key point at the very end, and this was after Light openly confesses to what it is. Secondly, L is never able to officially out Kira. In light of this, his higher-ups unceremoniously fire him, leaving him an even bigger wreck. This happens around the exact same time Light is explaining to his dad what his master plan in the climax was, which is the only kind of smart thing that ever happens in this movie and is almost reminiscent of it’s source material. Point being, the narrative wants you to believe that Light is competent, L is incompetent. But you know what scene was the ultimate “fuck you” to L’s character as well as containing a horrible implication and clearly demonstrating a crucial flaw in the movie? Near the end of the movie, L has a gun pointed to Light’s head in a back alley. He’s desperate, and Light is shouting about the page of the death note stuck in Mia’s textbook that’s the key to saving Watari (because he’s such a GOOD GUY, you guys!) Since L has no goddamn idea what Light is talking about, and just knows that he’s the guy who killed 400 people and possibly his only friend, he ignores him, and turns to a man who just walked out of his shop, begging him to help and shouts, “He’s Kira!” The man stops and gets clarification that yes, Light is Kira, and then proceeds to knock L unconscious with a wooden plank to the head because he’s a fan of Kira as Light runs off to safety. Did I mention yet that L is black in this movie while Light is white? A black detective who’s implied to be the best of the best and is completely in the right is struck down because the bystander was a fan of the white mass murderer he was trying to stop. It doesn’t matter that “Oh, but Kira was only killing bad guys!” because fuck you, the movie itself established that Light and Mia were killing people on a whim and not bothering to check sources for libel. I will repeat, THE MOVIE POINT BLANK HAD A BLACK PROFESSIONAL STRUCK DOWN TO PROTECT THE WHITE MASS MURDERER THAT THE NARRATIVE TRIES TO PLAY OFF AS INNOCENT. Seriously, this whole movie exists around the premise that a greasy white boy who murders people needs to be cared about and protected from a woman and a black man who somehow convince him to commit more murder against his will because boobies or want him to stop committing murder at all costs. Ryuk, the death god that patiently walks Light through how to kill someone, doesn’t even get as many “DANGER! THREAT TO LIGHT’S SAFETY!” vibes as Mia and L do. The narrative is like, “Yeah, he’s a death god, what do you expect? BUT THIS WOMAN AND BLACK GUY ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF THAT POOR NAIVE BOY!” This kind of shit belongs in a trump rally, not in my movie based on a story where the main, privileged, young man was portrayed as an honest to God mass-murdering dictator who yes, must be fucking stopped. And you wanna know the dumbest thing about this movie? There are no stakes. None. The narrative wants you to care about the lives of a couple of murderers because they make a cute couple and are a pair of “good kids” who have glitter on their tongues (yeah) and are white (or at least, that’s what I’m guessing, since the only black character in the movie is treated as a hindrance and a joke even though he was in the right the entire time). Everyone in the movie’s world that isn’t a cop LOVES Kira. The movie is forever showing you pictures of people at Kira shrines, or holding, “I Love You, Kira!” or spraypaint on the walls that says “Kira Lives!” We never see the dystopian hellscape that ultimately was Kira’s world, where everyone was scared fucking shitless because Light was killing anyone who so much as looked at another guy funny. And don’t tell me that there was no crime ever in that world, there was just unreported crime. And we never see any followup to the scene where they just decide to kill people because anonymous sources online told them to. We never see any distraught partners breaking down on the news because their husband died of a heart attack for a crime he didn’t commit. We never see any innocent people die, or at least innocent people who are quickly brushed off as “cannon fodder” and are never mentioned again after they are killed (ie, the twelve FBI agents). Kira is just worshiped by EVERYONE to the point where if he just came out as Kira, nobody would be able to touch him because they’d be coming out of the woodwork to protect him (as demonstrated in the paragraph above). The only reason he DID possibly die in the end is because Light gave L the means to. If he never mentioned the Death Note, he would basically be unstoppable, because everyone in this movie is either SO DUMB or SO IN LOVE WITH KIRA. And while this movie is so bad it’s hilarious to watch and deserves a good MST3K-ing, it’s also so fucking infuriating with it’s fucking worship and embracing of this fucking white boy mass murderer to the point where they had to make characters from the original work into worse versions of themselves to prop him up while decrying anyone who opposes him as “the real bad guys.” These writers are the kind of people who pass a gang of white kids vandalizing a car to call the cops on a black kid sleeping in one. These writers are the kind of people who would say, “Well, of course she got raped, she constantly teased boys with her short skirts!” The writers are the kind of writers who would describe a white male shooter as, “teen genius suddenly snaps! Unfortunate incident for former varsity football player. His friends talk about what a great guy he was on page six.” Seriously, the next time someone scoffs at you for suggesting that white male privilege exists, show them this goddamn movie a bunch of grown ass adults made and went, “Yep, this’ll do!”

#death note #death note 2017 #netflix #netflix death note #death #murder #racism #sexism #I thought this script died in 2007 #rape

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littlemisskookie · 7 years

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I wanted to ask you how you came up with the plot to STA? It's very good and I'm a writer myself but this type of writing is beyond my imagination.

Alrightie! This is going to be lengthy because I’m actually going to go into depth for the plot and characters as well, so bear with me.

So mainly it started out with the idea of a drunk boy being carried by a girl, saying he loved her while saying another girl’s name, while she was in love with him.

And I see these posts and such from girls shaming side hoes or being completely shameful or simply hating on a friend who dated their crush, or their ex, or basically just really negative things like that.

And that sucks! Believe me, I know! But there are two sides to every story, and so often I see the girl getting bashed by society because they’re the vixen and it’s somewhat become normal in media and such for side hoes and they’re generally looked down on and are seen to be thrown to the side.

I wanted to add more sides to the story, it being from everyone’s perspective.

At first, I planned for Seulgi to basically do no harm, to be the perfect girlfriend and the perfect victim. But then I started seeing a lot of those ‘boys are abusers’ and such, and I was also doing some research on mental illnesses, and abusive pasts, and certain traits, and there was this one article or post I somehow stumbled upon of a woman who regularly slapped her husband and such, dragging him by the ear or yelling at him repeatedly, and no one seemed to care and instead said he probably fucked up or deserved it.

At that point, I was at the end of writing chapter 2, so while I was already making the friendship between Y/N and Seulgi a bit toxic to show some jealousy and insecureness for both parties, I started hinting more that their relationship wasn’t as perfect as Y/N made it out to be.

Now, how I based the relationships themselves are heavily influenced off of my own experiences, as most of my works are.

Y/N and Seulgi’s friendship was influenced by three friendships of my own, little details plucked from each and added into it. Some included my faults, some included theirs. Each one was unhealthy in its own aspect, which I will briefly talk about.

(I’m not trying to bash any of these people, and it’s in the past now. I’m only describing to help show what inspired the aspects of the story.)

One had us constantly fighting, one continuously fucking up while the other could seemingly do no wrongs, and pointing out each time how the other was a horrible person. Both of us more or less felt obligated to stay friends only because of how long our history was, though even if we’d go a while without talking only to argue again and again as we continuously felt ourselves drifting or starting to dislike each other. The second one was constantly trying to outdo the first, trying to beat her in a competition, in morals, or frankly in everything because of her own jealousy/insecurity. The only reason the friendship lasted was that it started wayyyy back into childhood.

The second friendship was one that formed out of desperation. One became clingy and way too dependent on the other, while that friend was off basically only coming to her when she had her own problems. Jealousy was always an issue because the one who wasn’t so attached would typically be of a sort of higher position. Both drifted to a point where when it came down to its end, one basically blamed all of her problems and outside problems on the clingy one.

The third one is a friendship based on lies, where one person continuously tried to create somewhat of a fake identity and life outside the friendship to gain admiration from the other, trying to get her to become as obsessed as the other seemingly was.

Now, what I collected from those friendships (and trust me, I’ve experienced many more) I added to Seulgi. Some of my worst traits in those friendships, and some of the others’.

From the first one, there’s definitely a sense of trying to be better than the other, and Y/N definitely feels somewhat obligated to stay with her because she’s her childhood friend. While they don’t argue constantly or seem to ignore each other in a way, drifting and at the last second reconnecting, there’s definitely similarities.

As for the second, there’s definitely a sort of clinginess that’s there. Seulgi is also paying more attention to her other relationships (Jungkook) than she is to Y/N, as shown whenever she and JK would hang out and end up excluding Y/N. There was definitely a sense of one being higher up, as Seulgi repeatedly puts herself over Y/N.

The third is basically how Seulgi constantly tries to get Y/N to idolize her, not being completely honest.

Now, let me just say typically if someone’s toxic, they’re typically not going to be toxic in only one friendship in particular. (Which I experienced in another friendship, that was frankly and by far the worst one I’ve experienced) Which is why it’s fairly easy to see how Seulgi is rather toxic in both friendships, letting her anger and jealousy overwhelm her and swallow her whole.

If someone treats their best friend from childhood like utter shit, who’s to say they won’t treat their boyfriend the same?

(Granted, there are toxic people and abusers who act completely normally around others.)

Seulgi feeds off of Y/N in a certain way, and though both are unhappy in the friendship in a way, both are also extremely dependent on each other, which is perhaps one of the worst things of all.

I based Y/N’s characteristic off of mine in a way, embarrassingly enough, in a period of my life where I was admittedly depressed after something rather traumatizing happen to me from my friends, that admittedly shaped my future friendships and trust issues. Though I don’t want to go into detail about that, it does involve the worst toxic friendship I mentioned above.

But I repeatedly blamed myself for everything, and others’ problems, because that’s what I was being blamed for. At the time, I was being blamed for even family problems that I didn’t know of or didn’t affect, and it was one of the worst downhill spirals I experienced.

I was also responsible for setting up two dear friends of mine, who admittedly didn’t have the best relationship because the girl kept on asking the boy to change himself and “stop being so depressed”. So for a long time, I was responsible for fixing their relationship and such, and for months I placed all the blame for everyone’s separate problems that shouldn’t even affect my life on my own shoulders. (Which the second friend was part of, BTW)

And the entire time I admittedly put on a mask, where everyone believed I had no problems, was perfectly happy, healthy, and strong to be trying to fix everyone’s problems and take charge of the situations they were too scared to handle themselves until it all backfired and the mask crumbled.

Though Y/N does have very different situations and such from mine, and her character is drastically different in certain aspects where I added other quirks and traits that I myself do not possess.

And lastly, Jungkook’s personality, which is rather easy to see where it sparked. Again, myself, but the me who wasn’t aware of the toxic situation I was trapped in, and oblivious to any harm or hurt I was causing unknowingly.

But he does have good intents. He loves Y/N, but he is confused by how he loves her. He is aware of the fact Seulgi is violent, but he simply accepts that as one of her flaws. He doesn’t want to hurt her, as you can tell from how he doesn’t fight back. He’s a bad liar who’s scared of causing more damage than he’s already done, because guilt isn’t something he’s good at dealing with, though he deals with it a lot, especially recently. He has a good heart, but he isn’t aware of everything he does to Y/N because she refuses to show she’s hurt.

I think the last extra thing that made me want to form this series is because of how scared authors seem to be of making a situation messy. They don’t like making their characters flawed, or they justify actions based on something else.

Here, even though Jungkook cheated, it wasn’t okay for Seulgi to hit him. Even if Seulgi is toxic, it doesn’t give an excuse to cheat.

Everyone is flawed, the situation is messy (especially where most people refuse to make their characters cheat, or usually the OC is the one being cheated on, not with) and I thought to myself “How can I make this more fucked than it already is?”

That’s my ‘brief’ thought process for how I formed all of this.

#emask

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noxilicious-ish · 7 years

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RECALIBRATION (CH. 5)

Haven’t updated this in longer than I could admit and come out of it with my pride intact.

Btw, if anyone’s interested: I’ll put up an ask or something for doodle/ headcanon requests or questions related to my Harry Holmes project. Check it out later!

Previous chapter: http://noxilicious-ish.tumblr.com/post/154338266696/recalibration-ch-4

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Past Sherlock/Lily, canon pairings

Word count: 2,879

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my pitiful, depraved mind. Please don’t sue me.

CHAPTER FIVE – IN WHICH PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL SAVES THE DAY

Scrutinising turquoise eyes locked unblinkingly onto ever-changing blue-green-gray? ones. All the while, larger and far more inexperienced emerald eyes than either of the other pairs were watching each in part alternatingly, worriedly, much like following a tennis match. Harry was witness to a Mexican standoff the conclusion of which he was uncertain of – and indeed, one he dreaded.

“It’s Professor, actually,” Minerva broke the ice, sipping her tea calmly.

“Professor McGonagall, then,” Sherlock acknowledged with a nod. “Professor of… Transfiguration, I believe? The art of changing the form and appearance of an animate or inanimate object.”

It was all Minerva could do to keep her rather beautifully-shaped teacup safely within her fingers’ clutch. Her eyes widened minutely, although she managed to recompose herself. Her lips remained in a tight, unnerved line.

“You are correct, Mr Holmes, however much that may seem like an impossibility. May I ask how you came upon such knowledge, seeing as you are most obviously not Magic, nor are you a Squib?” she inquired slowly. Mr Potter could have told the strange man about his… special boarding school, but the Ministry was supervising what was imparted by witches and wizards upon Muggles very carefully. And the man’s custody of the child was unofficial and dubious at best.

Sherlock smiled distantly. “During our… acquaintance, Lily bestowed me with her absolute trust, and revealed much of her education and overall childhood, as well as the fundamentals of Wizarding society. She was exceedingly impressive in her skill of avoiding certain trigger terms that might alert the Ministry.”

Harry perked up at the mention of his famous mother, while Minerva paled. Lily had broken the Statute of Secrecy… for a Muggle? She had been a very intelligent girl for all the years the old teacher had known her, so she was undoubtedly aware of all the consequences of such a felony. To have nonetheless committed it for someone’s sake…

The detective scanned her for a few seconds, his smile falling to reveal serious determination. He placed his cup in its saucer, then on the table near his armchair. “Professor McGonagall,” he started, interlacing his pale, bony digits. “You have obviously come here out of concern for you pupil’s safety and wellbeing. You may rest assured that he is in good hands, or at least much better than he used to be.”

The last he muttered angrily and Minerva found herself agreeing. However…

“That is not all you wish to inform me of,” she stated rather than asked.

“No,” Sherlock acquiesced. “Being a Muggle, there is little influence I can manage in the Wizarding society at the moment. I am in need of your help in a particular matter, seeing as you are the most equipped to handle it.”

She raised both eyebrows at this. What a strange fellow. “Indeed? And what is this matter you speak of?”

“I am afraid Albus Dumbledore has committed a grave mistake. You are the only one who can convince him of this, being one of his most trusted allies.”

“And why would I believe you, if that is the case? You seem aware of the fact that Albus’ word holds considerable weight with me.”

At this, he looked her dead in the eye. “Because I am Harry’s biological father.”

Then he stood statue-still, his posture expressing no-nonsense as he awaited her reply. Truly, Sherlock was more than a little nervous about this whole affair. Harry’s happiness and health was at stake whether this stern aging lady chose to aid him or not, and he was definitely not playing around with those. He loved games, but not when they involved his prodigal son.

What a laugh John would have to hear him even think that there could ever be a time he would not simply adore a little game of wills.

Harry shifted almost imperceptibly, trying his best not to break the thick silence that had fallen over the three of them. This was an adults’ exchange, and he was both glad and overwhelmed that he was allowed to spectate. He was also – though he’d never, ever say it within the Professor’s hearing range – a little amused to see said woman for the first time in his life shocked into speechlessness. She was more humane than most authoritarian teachers, but still strict enough to intimidate.

Meanwhile, Minerva was gaping. If the previous unexpected comment had startled her, this was more than enough to stun even her. And yet, she could not entirely deny the fact that what her conscious was desperate to object to, her subconscious was increasingly resigned about.

“How…” she managed to stutter out eventually. “When…”

The other adult mercifully waited for her to regain her bearings. “Are you certain of this?” she finally asked firmly.

She was met with a sardonic smile. “I have valid reasons to believe it is more than possible.”

Minerva conceded with an odd grimace. Harry blushed scarlet and fought valiantly not to fidget. No sane teenager, regardless of the tangled history of their parents and not-parents and any curiosity relating to it, could ever be comfortable with a discussion of their own conception.

“But James…” the Professor muttered, frowning in turmoil. “Why would Lily ever do such a thing? How could she?”

The detective was quiet for a few long moments, staring into the distance. “It was before she married him. I do not know…” he abruptly trailed off, greatly troubled by some long-past memory.

The old Scotswoman studied his absent expression, then she sighed and looked at Harry. “I suppose the resemblance is uncanny,” she joked softly.

Sobering, she continued, “If what you say is true, Mr Holmes, and it does seem so, then you have yet to tell me what the Headmaster’s fault is in this.”

The moment Sherlock’s eyes flicked back to hers, a horrible feeling had already settled in Minerva’s heart. “Though Lily did return to James, in the event of both their deaths, do you not wonder whether she would have rather wrote down the name of the actual father of her child, instead of that of her dreaded sister’s as said child’s caretaker?”

The Transfiguration Professor shook. “Albus… claimed that all of Harry’s potential guardians were either deceased or imprisoned. There was simply no one but… them.”

Sherlock’s fingers clenched tightly over the armrests and he leaned over slightly. “And if that were true, would there not still be his birth certificate to prove the existence of another potential guardian?” he argued tightly, spitting out the last words with unmistakable biterness. “I am not exactly parent material, but anyone would have sufficed, ANYONE but that biped swine and his equally primitive wife.”

He sat back slowly, reigning in his fury after that slight slip-up. As he watched the teacher raise a shaking hand to her mouth, he knew she was remembering Harry’s living conditions for the past twelve years. Given her ability to shapeshift, she was most likely the one tasked with keeping an eye on the child now and then, and must have borne witness to what was taking place in that abominable household.

“Lily’s Last Will and Testament is missing from the Ministry’s public records,” he concluded.

Minerva frowned, trying her best to think logically despite the amalgam of emotions. “Once a deceased witch’s or wizard’s Will has been read, it is magically written into the records. This applies to any and all testaments, and is not undoable.”

Sherlock looked at her pointedly. “Who was the known executor of Lily’s Will?”

Her eyes shot back to his and her features tightened.

…

Ever since finding out about magic, Harry’s life has been in a constant tornado of events, positive as well as less than positive. While he would never regret that moment on his eleventh birthday when Hagrid stomped on that isolated little hut’s door, there have been times when he had needed a breather, the confusion of endless adventures having overwhelmed him to nearly his breaking point.

During his two years at Hogwarts, he had found that refuge in his two best friends’ unwavering loyalty even in the face of certain danger. Still, even a precocious trouble-magnet like himself found himself occasionally seeking the steady wisdom of an adult.

He had never imagined that visiting Headmaster Albus Dumbledore’s office would ever create anything but a feeling of safety and respectful wariness.

Witnessing the elderly wizard’s calm, expectant visage the moment they entered the office was what dropped the burden of crushing disappointment and betrayal onto his shoulders.

Mr Holmes’ perceptive eyes flickered over to him, before he felt the slightest brush of an uncertain hand over his shoulder. If Harry had not been so troubled, he would’ve gave the man a weak, but nonetheless grateful smile for his efforts.

“Minerva,” Dumbledore nodded to his long-time friend and fellow colleague, who merely thinned her lips back. The Headmaster looked at Harry next. “Mr Potter.”

Harry did not answer. He rather chose slight disrespect over opening his mouth and blurting whatever crossed his mind in a fit of rage and desperation.

“Mr Sherlock Holmes. It is a pleasure to finally meet you.” Said detective’s expression remained blank, though his manner spoke the world about his impression of the wizard. “Mr Dumbledore,” he returned. “I wish I could say the same, but the circumstances dictate otherwise.”

Dumbledore made a movement with his wand, conjuring three comfy-looking armchairs and gestured towards them in invitation. Once everyone was seated, the old wizard turned to gaze out the window.

“You know why we’re here today,” the Muggle stated, unsurprised.

“You are here because twelve years ago I made a choice for the greater good, regardless of my own wishes,” was the answer he received.

“Greater good…?” Minerva parroted incredulously, her tone rising with each syllable. “For whom, precisely? In all the years I have known you, Albus, I swear…”

The wizard turned to face her, his expression resigned, knowing he deserved her ire, but adamantly in support of his motivation despite it. “No boy should have to live their entire life in the center of attention, not when such a tragedy is the foundation of his fame. Living far away from the magical world for so long was the best option.”

“And you couldn’t have trusted me to shield my own damn son from your bloody magical population? You honestly thought it was better to leave him with a bunch of savages that locked him up in a bloody cupboard? For ten years, you just watched and let them do their number while he cleaned, cooked, scrubbed, while he was being yelled at and pushed around, while he was belittled and treated as less-than-human, through all of that, you did nothing! You rant and rave about how undercivilised and dull Muggles are,” and he spat out the word mockingly, “and then you just throw one of your own into the lion’s den. And you’re still better.”

Harry stared with wide eyes at the detective all throughout his tirade, not expecting the sudden avalanche of words at all, and certainly not at this intensity, even though it was called for. The rant resumed a lot of Harry’s own frustrations over the years and he was a bit glad there was someone brave – or stupid – enough to point them out so bluntly to a form of authority that could have taken measures and didn’t.

Mr Holmes stared angrily at the old wizard, anxious to hear what the man had to say in his defense in the face of this.

“Can you truly claim that you would have been a good caretaker for Harry at the time, twelve years ago?”

You could’ve heard a pin drop in the suffocating silence that followed Dumbledore’s solemn question. If the detective had been angry before, now he was positively boiling, his bright eyes now icy cold with fury and loathing, but also a conflicted, unreadable emotion.

“That justifies nothing. I deserved to know!” he growled through clenched teeth, obviously as an attempt not to roar and scream and rage at the man.

With that, Mr Holmes leaned back in his seat from his near perch on the edge of the chair, though he remained tense, spine ramrod straight, limbs coiled like springs. Harry stared at his hands, unnerved by the showdown but occasionally sneaking glances at everyone in turn, to try and anticipate whatever their next movement would be. For now, though they had come to a standstill.

Professor McGonagall was surreptitiously watching the detective, most likely looking out in case he suddenly jumped out of his seat and throttled the old wizard, though by her crisp, angry and disillusioned visage, she was more than a little tempted to do it herself.

The one to break the pattern was the Headmaster, as usual, when he rose from his seat slowly, for the first time in Harry’s life actually showing the consequences of his old age. He disappeared from their view for a few seconds, then returned with a few yellowed papers in his hand.

“When James and Lily Potter were declared officially deceased and their wills were read, I ensured that most of Lily’s will would be followed to the letter, except for a few select points.”

What was most likely the will, he spread out over his desk. It was obvious that should any of those present be unsatisfied with his credibility, he was willing to read out the entire will for their sake. But after the whole circus, none of them were up for a formal ceremony at this point.

“ ‘To William Sherlock Scott Holmes, I leave a letter to be handed by my Executor.’ ”

Dumbledore handed an envelope to the detective, who accepted it after a brief moment’s hesitation. The man held it gingerly, almost reverently, but seemed firm to suppress the instinct to open it at once, instead opting to see the rest of their meeting carried out.

“ ‘To my son, Harold William Holmes-Evans, I leave the residue of my estate, including a letter to be handed by my Executor upon his eleventh birthday.’ ”

The other envelope was given to Harry. “As James had already left most of his estate to you as well, I had Lily’s savings deposited into the same vault as his,” the old wizard explained carefully, before returning to the last point to be mentioned:

“ ‘I appoint William Sherlock Scott Holmes, the biological father of Harold William Holmes-Evans, to be the guardian of my son until he reaches 18 years of age.’ ”

He concluded by rolling the manuscript closed, and sliding another piece of paper over the desk towards his guests.

On it, written in old, faded but mostly well-preserved ink, the letters spelled out clearly: BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

Harry stared dazedly as he read what was apparently his real name. Harold William Holmes-Evans. And wasn’t that a mouthful.

Well, at least Mr Holmes won’t be complaining about Harry’s name anymore.

Oh yeah, Mr Holmes’ name was there too.

“Your first name’s William?” Harry blurted.

The man pinned him with a deeply unimpressed look. That was the most relevant line of inquiry on his mind to him? “Unless you’d like me to call you Will Junior…” the words even left a sour taste in his mouth, they were so idiotic.

“I’m good,” the boy interrupted hurriedly. If Harold was too serious, he had absolutely nothing in common with the name William.

He supposed he’d learn to live with it, considering his mother had chosen his name.

Also, his real name was as sentimental as his fake one, apparently.

Most of all, now I know for sure that he’s my father and legal guardian, Harry thought, feeling more than a little relieved and excited by the prospect.

See you never, Dursleys!

Harry’s train of thought was interrupted by sudden movement from the corner of his eye, as Mr Holmes stood to pick up the birth certificate. Professor McGonagall was standing as well, by now.

The detective and the old wizard were now having some sort of silent exchange.

“Was it worth it?”

Both of them turned to look at Harry in slight surprise. “The choice you made… was it worth it?” he clarified tentatively.

Dumbledore’s usually twinkling eyes had lost most of their brightness and they actually looked sad as he answered, “I don’t know.”

Harry bit his lip. Albus Dumbledore was a good man. He’d always felt that in his gut, even though the old wizard tended to be more than a little vague. Looking at it objectively, one might suppose that the Headmaster was in a position to take the hard decisions no one else could, for the sake of the wizarding world or whatever.

The boy supposed one day he’d be able to forgive that, not just acknowledge it.

For now, though, he desperately wanted to go home and maybe cry about it for a bit – not that he’d ever admit it aloud. He had his pride, after all. He grabbed Mr Holmes lightly by the sleeve, trying to convey this silently.

The man clearly got the message, because he nodded meaningfully towards the Transfiguration professor, who turned to lead them back out of the office. They left without another word to the Headmaster.

To be continued…

So that’s it for now. I’m not even gonna promise anything anymore, hopefully I’ll be writing and updating sometime soon, but considering I have my Cambridge examination sometime soon...

Again, if you want to see more Harry and Daddy Holmes fluff or have any requests related to them, check out my blog and click the request button there.

See you next time!

#parentlock #harry holmes #sherlock #harry potter #recalibration #crossover #fanfiction

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