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borisbubbles · 1 year

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Eurovision 2023 PRESHOW - part 2: the irrelevants

Sometimes you come across countries that try their best and still somehow, fail to make it past the stage of mediocrity. These entries aren’t going to make a splash, they merely attend the contest where they’ll likely not make much of an impact. Nothing to be offended by. That doesn’t take away they’re still kind of shit though. 💔

33. SAN MARINO Piqued Jacks - “Like an animal” Semi 2, slot #12

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Another year of me not caring about San Marino. Hooray! 😐

Though let’s be honest that on this occasion I’m in the majority. 🙂 I don’t dislike PJ as much as most fans appear to do though. I think it’s because there are days (most days) I forget San Marino are in this year’s rotation?

But when I am forced to remember San Marino are in and THIS is their entry and... has there ever been an entry this far away from the concept of “a slay”? The goat noises at the ends, jeeeesus. There probably are more inane entries out there, but not in 2023. Everything about Piqued Jacks is painfully heterosexual ranging from their nicknames to the song and its lyrics.

Speaking of the lyrics, um, yeah let’s pick apart its many issues I guess? First and foremost the narrative is that of a random straight man chasing after a woman on the dancefloor (so: IN PUBLIC) because she looked at him funny and he is failing to control his impulses to grind all of his appendages against her bodice. YIKES. 😬

This image is then further enhanced by the..; um... colourful metaphors in which body parts are being assigned animalistic properties (SNAKE eyes, BITING tongue) and suddenly this flirty song about a hopeless normie desperately trying to get laid has taken a turn towards sinisterville. There are plenty of vibes you can go for here, but “accidentally preditorial” is not one of them. 😐

Still better than Salvaje though. 🙂

ODDS at Eurovision

No amount of divine or satantic intervention is going to prevent San Marino’s impending last place.

This is not a question of “Will they receive enough points to qualify?”. it’s a question of “Will they receive points from anyone?”

Qualifier tier: F Projected placement: 14th-16th (semi).

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32. NETHERLANDS Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper - “Burning Daylight” Semi 1, slot #14

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:snore:

To be honest, when I first heard Duncan Laurence would write a song for Eurovision and it would be sung by two indie randoms who barely knew each other, I instantly assumed I’d hate the Dutch entry this year. Yeah, Arcade was good but I am SO sick of it and Duncan at this point (in a similar vein to other people having had enough Måns and KEiiNO) . Mia/Dion meanwhile were giving off Isaiah/Evie vibes. ALLL the worrying signals were there!

So it is any surprise "Burning daylight” churned out to a few stilted, horrendous messy lives that have made it abundantly clear that Mia and Dion do NOT mesh together, at all? No, of course not.

That said, the song’s like........... fine, I guess? I don’t fucking understand why Burning Daylight had to be a duet or you know, this insipid. DE DIEPTE JUST HAPPENED, AND GOT IT ALL RIGHT.

I did get a small snort out of AVROTROS outright admitting that they hadn’t known in advance about the juries getting nixed in the semi, and if they had they probably would have picked something else. Is that admission more painful than the preparty performances at Madrid and Amsterdam? I’ll let you decided. Moral of the story if the selection offers up a choice of MEROL, you always fucking take the MEROL. Morons.

Odds at Eurovision - Netherlands

“GOODBYE OLD LIIIIIIIIIIIFE” -- Netherlands saying goodbye to the Success Era.

Like, seriously. Logically, I feel like good staging and Netherlands’ excellent draw should be enough to clinch a qual on paper. In reality: We’ve all seen the footage.

To be fair though, I was there when they flobbed in Amsterdam, and it seemed not as bad as some others (then again, ESCUnited’s Sean was standing next to me drunkedly SHRIEKING the chorus down my ear canals so i may have missed most of the essence). Alessandra was VERY bad, and Vesna weren’t too great either - too bad Vesna and Alessandra actually have competitive songs where the vocals matter less~

What is going to secure this NQ though is that the Dutch have already lost their fooken MINDS about what have been two supbar lives, and are going to drag Dion and Mia down in their negative spiral. I do feel that if the home country doesn’t support you, your press doesn’t support you and worse, if foreign media and commentators pick up on that and report it back to their audiences, you’re in for a miserable experience and a headfirst collision into a bottom of the scoreboard finish. There is a small window for Netherlands to qualify because, you know.. .Malta aren’t secure. Latvia aren’t secure. Switzerland aren’t secure. SERBIA aren’t secure, Czechia aren’t secure either. And since only five countries die (note that I am not mentioning the two obviously dead NQs) there is a chance for NL to slip through if they fix their most pressing issues.

There is sadly little fixing can do if you’re song’s unvotable.

Qualifier tier: D Projected placement: 10-15th (semi), 23rd-26th (Grand Final)

31. ALBANIA Albina Kelmendi & Family - “Duje” Semi 2, slot #14

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A family! isn’t it CUTE!!!

I’d argue that thanks to the awkward shuffling in every live of “Duje” and the strangely sinister narrative of the music video (are they GENUINELY implying that Albina is having the hots for her own brother?! lol?!), Albania’s song is the fucking antithesis of “cute”. 🙂 “Duje” is so strange man. If you were to just listen to the track without any other input you may find it pleasant enough, I guess. The Kelmendii are just... not very gifted at performing live (Albina excepted), and ESC IS a live performance contest, soz. They’re like D-mol, but less funny and only slightly less embarrassing.

So of course Albania became the object of an irony-fueled lovefest by the fans, because “lololol so inept bless” but i’ve decided I find that particular discouse patronizing, and the entry itself off-putting. 🙂

Idk, an entire family singing a song about LOVE CONQUERING ALL, while awkwardly touching each other and exchanging meaninful creates a cult-like undercurrent that I’d rather steer away from as much as possible.

Odds at Eurovision - Albania

Okay so semi 2 is a really fucking crapshoot in that there are 7 obvious qualifiers, and the others (not counting SM) have a shot at claiming the last 3 spots.

Even with that information in mind, I still feel like Albania are one of the three LEAST likely countries to qualify in that semi? (after, of course, Romania and Poland). As I said before, the Kelmendi’s unironically remind me of D-Mol,and their song is a strange off-putting janky mess that even the Albanians will be reluctant to vote for.

Albina’s only trump card is that she’s brought her family along, and this is a dicey USP when most of them aren’t particularly good at doing Eurovision things.

Also, Albania are missing their biggest allies which are Switzerland (semi 1), Montenegro (not in), and NoMac (not in). So yeah, it will be a huge uphill battle. BUT AT LEAST LOVE WILL CONQUER EVERYTHING (when Gustaph destroys the concept of homophobia and wins the semi)

If Albania do qualify, bottom 4 in the finale seems very clear, here?

Qualifier tier: D Projected placement: 9th-15th (Semi), 21st-26th (Grand Final)

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30. IRELAND Wild Youth - “We are one” Semi 1, slot #06

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A blistering 9th-to-last place for everyone’s favourite act to hate! Hooray!

I don’t know, I do think Wild Youth are strangely... overhated? Like, if you’re Ireland and you want bring a typical sound to the contest your country is known for, then why not go for a U2 B-side track? It seems really valid choice to me. how you can despise any act that DENIED Johnny Rotten’s bid for ESC is beyond me, tbh.

But yeah, “We are one” is really fucking insipid. Musically I don’t have anything negative to say about it though? The composition is fine, if unexciting.

Its message though is where I lost all interest - being INCLUSIVE and DIFFERENT and UNIQUE so that WE ARE ONE. It is meant to be inspirational and instead achieved the opposite effect - annoying clichémongering is not a way to go, ever in life, anywhere. 🙂

Now, I will say that I feel a bit sorry for Wild Youth because their Eurovision experience so far has been a big pile o’ misery. Like at EIC, Connor was DENIED ENTRY to the afterparty by the security guards because he didn’t have a wristband, eventhough he showed up in the SAME outfit he had performed in earleir that night.

When the cunts yelled “NUNCA AL FINAL” at them in Barcelona, they lowered the bar even more in terms of fanbase toxicity - and even this distinction was immediately taken away from Wild Youth when the same crowd chanted “RONELA” at Piqued Jacks (the most pathetic thing i’ve seen eurofans do, aside from maybe that Andromache shell tattoo)

so um yeah. Wild Youth don’t make it higher than NL or SM specifically based on musical merit - although they, unlike Mia and Dion can at least hold a tune.

They made it this far because I feel sorry for them. 😬

Odds at Eurovision - Ireland

Yeah this is NQ. I know, you know, Wild Youth know, let’s not rub it in. Notionally there are scenarios where other countries could fuck up and crash themselves out of the Grand Final, but if I’m honest if that were to happen, it'd probably benefits the other hopeless NQ more?

Besides, Ireland have already run their reputation into the ground through their HORRIBLE non-qualification streak; inept leadership and uninspired entries. At this point everyone expects them to be last place because that’s what we’ve been led to expect from them over the years. I don’t think WY necessarily place dead last though. I could see the parents that tune in liking it enough to cast a vote for it, granting it a random 12th place. Qualification is too big a feat to pull off here though. Qualifier tier: F Projected placement: 12th-15th (Semi)

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And that concludes the entries that were kinda shit, but not shit enough to actively dislike hooray! In the next update I’ll talk about three songs that leave me fucking COLD. Up next: the BORING entries.

THE RANKING:

Part 1: The BAD entries (Switzerland / Croatia / Israel / Greece)

#Eurovision 2023 #ESC 2023 #Eurovision Song Contest #Liverpool 2023 #Albania #Kelmendi Family #Albina Kelmendi #Duje #Ireland #Wild Youth #We Are One #Netherlands #Dion Cooper #Mia Nicolai #The Netherlands #Burning Daylight #San Marino #Piqued Jacks #Like an animal

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arabela25 · 1 year

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Eurovision Song Contest 2023 countdown: 26 days left!

Burning Daylight - Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper, The Netherlands 🇳🇱 [x]

#eurovision #eurovision 2023 #mia nicolai & dion cooper #esc #netherlands #netherlands '23 #burning Daylight #esc2023countdown #I like this #at the moment of queueing this they've had one pre party live performance and it wasn't very good #but the only one that counts is the eurovision performance so we'll see #(teya and salena sounded very good in madrid tho and that was a relief)#at the time this post has gone live I have witnessed one other pre party performance and it still didn't sound very good :(#(teya and selena still sounding great although with a couple of tweaks needed)

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thylacinetears · 1 year

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Where are my heartbroken Brividi/Burning Daylight stans at

#at least we still have the live show to go can't judge vocals on preparties amirite #<--- the sound of denial #eurovision #eurovision 2023 #memes #eurovision 2022 #brividi #burning daylight

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glxtterdreams · 1 year

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NETHERLANDS DIDNT QUALIFY ARE YOU MESSING

Gonna keep playing burning daylight until it shows up in my Spotify wrapped next year but Fr I’m so so upset

#eurovision #eurovision 2023 #netherlands #burning daylight #mia nicolai #dion cooper #Liverpool #United by music #absolutely robbed

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wakemeupinmay · 1 year

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My thoughts on the Eurovision songs this year

1. 🇦🇱 Albania - Duje - Albina & Familja Kelmendi

VERY dramatic, but I could shake my ass to the part in which she isn’t singing

2. 🇦🇲 Armenia - Future Lover - Brunette

„I just wanna make art, read books, be loved and called a good girl“ okay ma'am that’s everyone ur not special

3. 🇦🇺 Australia - Promise - Voyager

Do we know why they are headbanging this much? It couldn’t be bc of this song right?

4. 🇦🇹 Austria - Who the hell is Edgar? - Teya & Salena

Not often is a song made spicier by adding some church singing

5. 🇦🇿 Azerbaijan - Tell me more - TuralTuranX

I have just watched the video for the third time and I start to suspect that there is more than one guy singing, I could be wrong tho

6. 🇧🇪 Belgium - Because of you - Gustaph

He looks like a gay musketeer + weirdly enough this song doesn’t make me want to dance, it makes me want to walk???

7. 🇭🇷 Croatia - Mama ŠČ - Let 3

Thankfully for them I love chaos and not knowing what is going on, BUT I did get scared for a second when they undressed

8. 🇨🇾 Cyprus - Break a broken heart - Andrew Lambrou

I am mesmerized but that won’t get me to like the song :/

9. 🇨🇿 Czechia - My sister‘s crown - Vesna

Idk guys, is this a good song or does it just have a good message? It doesn’t bop for me, I’m so sorry I tried

10. 🇩🇰 Denmark - Breaking my heart - Reiley

Okay, do we also have a version in which we can hear his voice in the chorus better? Thanks, the distorted one playing over his singing is a no no. I dig the outfit tho 10/10 very cute

11. 🇪🇪 Estonia - Bridges - Alika

Don’t worry guys, Estonia is bringing the compulsory piano to the contest this year

12. 🇫🇮 Finland - Cha Cha Cha - Käärijä

Very entertaining and very eurovision by the hulk goblin king, very appreciated by me :)

13. 🇫🇷 France - Évidemment - La Zarra

This. woman. has. the. most. snatched. waist. I. have. ever. seen. Other than that, once again France does what it does best, which is being french

14. 🇬🇪 Georgia - Echo - Iru

Did she get turned into a white worm halfway through? + They surely get the award of „lyrics that make the least sense“ this year. „THIS FEELING IS LORD“

15. 🇩🇪 Germany - Blood & Glitter - Lord of the lost

So happy for Germany leaving its shell for once but maybe reconsider the red latex suit. Otherwise they are really cute and make me smile

16. 🇬🇷 Greece - What they say - Victor Vernicos

How did Greece get Tom Shelby’s son dressed like a school boy from the 1940ies to sing about his hurt feelings?

17. 🇮🇸 Iceland - Power - Diljá

So sad Iceland couldn’t keep up the streak of rly good entries. Unfortunately this song holds no PPPPower over me

18. 🇮🇪 Ireland - We are one - Wild Youth

Don’t worry guys, our knights in shining masks are here to save us. Not rly tho, the song is not that much fun :/

19. 🇮🇱 Israel - Unicorn - Noa Kirel

A song called Unicorn has no business being this serious

20. 🇮🇹 Italy - Due vite - Marco Mengoni

What can I tell u…. It’s definitely Italys entry + Does he sound like an italian Michael Jackson???

21. 🇱🇻 Latvia - Aijā - Sudden Lights

The last time I saw lights like these on stage Germany got 0 points, be careful Latvia

22. 🇱🇹 Lithuania - Stay - Monika Linkytė

What does Čiūto tūto mean?

23. 🇲🇹 Malta - Dance (our own party) - The Busker

I see you Malta, trying to have your own little epic sax moment

24. 🇲🇩 Moldova - Soarele si Luna - Pasha Parfeni

This felt like a spiritual fever dream + gotta love the nuns in the crowd

25. 🇳🇱 Netherlands - Burning Daylight - Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper

This song is all the stages of grief I go through once my favourite does not win eurovision

26. 🇳🇴 Norway - Queen of Kings - Alessandra

Aye aye captain we stan! BUT I would have looooved if the show (costumes, dance,…) were a cringey eurovisiony pirate thing

27. 🇵🇱 Poland - Solo - Blanka

Why is it giving parody of rich spoiled brat that thinks she can sing bc daddy said so?

28. 🇵🇹 Portugal - Ai Coração - Mimicat

I like it, it’s not a ballad and fun also she looks exactly how I would imagine a Mimicat

29. 🇷🇴 Romania - D.G.T. (Off and On) - Theodor Andrei

I didn’t expect to be going to an underage bondage strip club tonight.

30. 🇸🇲 San Marino - Like an animal - Piqued Jacks

He is giving me mixed signals. Am I sexy Aphrodite or do I stink and am poisonous? Why is he chasing me? Is that good or bad? I’m worried

31. 🇷🇸 Serbia - Samo mi she spava - Luke Black

He is very much Melovin coded but I do connect with the message an awful lot

32. 🇸🇮 Slovenia - Carpe Diem - Joker Out

It’s good, I get the hype, curious what they’ll do on stage tho

33. 🇪🇸 Spain - Eaea - Blanca Paloma

Is it allowed to perform religious rituals on stage?

34. 🇸🇪 Sweden - Tattoo - Loreen

After that huge TV fell on that one kpop performers head this performance makes me extra nervous

35. 🇨🇭 Switzerland - Watergun - Remo Forrer

Don’t worry Remo, Switzerland is one of the safest countries on earth

36. 🇺🇦 Ukraine - Heart of Steel - Tvorchi

I think I have never been more surprised by a country sending a generic pop song. Or maybe it was to be expected the most rn. It’s not bad by any means but also def not a winner and everyone knows that

37. 🇬🇧 United Kingdom - I wrote a song - Mae Muller

If I don’t see the name Mae Muller on the writing credits to this song I will absolutely throw a fit

(List of videos I watched)

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vpdsd · 9 months

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Author : fr0sent <3

Game : Burning Daylight

#virtual photography #photo #photomode #photooftheday #scenery #screenarchery #screenshot #visual #vgpunite #vpdsd #burning daylight

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falling-mellow · 1 year

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Just heard the new version of Burning Daylight live @ Khalid & Sophie and

Please give it a listen, it brought my faith back in NL 🇳🇱🙏

#Eurovision #ESC #Mia & Dion #Mia Nicolai #Dyon Cooper #Burning Daylight #Khalid & Sophie #Netherlands #🇳🇱#please give us one last chance #I promise it's worth it #🙏#🎙️

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sweeetestcurse · 7 months

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Burning Daylight 02/??

#burningdaylightedit #burning daylight scenery #gaming scenery #gamingedit #videogameedit #gifs #burning daylight #my gifs #queue

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renaerys · 2 years

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Some decisions were made and judgments compromised, and I ended up writing a sequel to Burning Daylight. It got long. It’s a proper novel, or will be. Check it out for the usual good stuff: enemies to lovers, scenery porn, actual porn, sasori assembling a team avengers-style to go beat up his ex BFF, etc.

Summary: When the man who once killed her offers Haruno Sakura the chance of a lifetime to rewrite the future of her country by putting an end to its most notorious betrayer, Orochimaru, she reluctantly agrees to join forces. Together with a team of unlikely allies united by their bloody objective, Sakura is determined that this time, she will do her part to save the boy she used to love before it’s too late, even if he ends up hating her for it.

But the path into the unknown is a treacherous one paved in broken promises and half truths. She soon learns the depths to which some people will sink, and the blood they’re willing to shed, to preserve the only thing keeping them alive—or slowly killing them—along the way: human connection.

Rating: E

#SasoSaku #akasuna no sasori #sasori #haruno sakura #sakura haruno #deidara #burning daylight #out of the bathhouse and into the swamp!

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anotherescsite · 11 months

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Another ESC Site Award for Singing Strangers

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They tried so hard to make this work. They changed the way it was sung, they put them on a circular gimmick with intimate camerawork and lighting, they made them interact. And for their effort, they received seven votes.

I feel bad for these two as they were placed in a position to fail before they sung a note. In my opinion, it did not work in any way and the problem started with the song itself. It's not a duet as they are not singing to each other, so it is in trouble from the outset. Putting them together to sing the song may have been an error as well. The high singing was just strange. Dion sounded like he was in agony as he was singing. Mia was still unable to perform the song in a proper way after the change.

#esc #eurovision #the netherlands #mia nicolai #dion cooper #burning daylight #liverpool #2023 #united kingdom #Youtube #another esc site awards 2023

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borisbubbles · 11 months

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Eurovision 2023: #32

32. THE NETHERLANDS Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper - “Burning daylight” 32nd place

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Decade ranking: 103/116 [Above Vasil, below Sheldon]

GOODBYEEEEEE OLD LIFE -- NL entering their flop era.

It really speaks for how privileged the Dutch have been at the contest lately that they’ve called “Burning Daylight” an affront, a humiliation, the WORST ENTRY OF ALL TIMES, when in reality it’s about as “embarrassing” to the Netherlands as Anna Bergendahl was to Sweden, lol? Bohoo, you miss once and it’s instant shame? Get over it.

That said “Burning Daylight” was a waste of time and it annoyed me! Right at the FIRST VERSE, Dion greets us with “I don’t find any joy anymore” and it just telegraphs you are in for a Salvaduncan. Yes, exactly what I want from my Eurovision. MORE White privileged people selling their mild ennui as “depression” for the sake of “REAL MUSIC”!!!

Of course a good “Sad Song” would he able to create a relatable, and poignant narrative (see also: Hold Me Closer). Here you’re left with two plain white upper middle-class people on a turntable (why did multiple acts this year use turntables? You’d figure people would learn from seeing garbage like S!sters and Don’t Come Easy bomb in the televote) whining about how much time they’re wasting. Is that supposed to be a self-aware irony, or?

Also why is this a duet? Dion by himself would have been just fine? Sure Mia’s presence prevents this from essentially being the second coming of “Boys Do Cry” but her voice and styling are SO “white indie girl #423″ (100% in denial about her inner shrew) her presence further detracts from the whole. These two mesh together about as well as oil and water.

In a sense, it is perversely amusing to project Burning Daylight’s lyrics and message onto its journey in ESC (serendipity <3). It even ruined Duncan’s reputation in the Netherlands <3 I can’t let that impact their rank though. LET IT BE KNOWN that if it had been in last year’s mix, Burning Daylight would have qualified and whited its way up the midtable thanks to its jury philandering. 2023′s top results were awful, (easily the worst top six since 2018) but thank fuck it got its qualifiers right.

THE RANKING:

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #ESC #BorisBubbles #Liverpool 2023 #ESC 2023 #Eurovision 2023 #Netherlands #NL #Mia Nicolai #Dion Cooper #Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper #Burning Daylight

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