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bonefall · 8 months

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wait, why can’t a decent amount of the members in proto-thunderclan not hunt?

A lot of them have serious physical disabilities! It's enough that it poses a logistical problem, which they are committed to overcoming together.

Thunder Storm's three legs makes him slower than his companions. He's ferociously powerful, but like a male lion, he has to rely on his "lionesses" to slow a large animal.

Bright Storm has asthma from her heroics trying to save SkyClan cats from a fire. She's taking that from Gray Wing, who is famously the first major death now. Like her son, she has a difficult time with chasing prey.

Bumble is dyspraxic. She's a terrible hunter and fighter and struggles with self-worth because OTHERS used it to dehumanize her, and continues to, even after an entire society forms out of love of her.

Sunlit Frost has permanent nerve damage in his arm from the fire, and ends up working so hard that it makes his disability worse. A bite on the good paw from Snake becomes infected after he refuses to sit out from digging graves after the First Battle; I am planning a chunky B-plot about Sunlit coming to terms with the fact he has to retire early.

That's FOUR major members of a small group with physical disabilities that make hunting hard or impossible. They have a lot of logistical problems that I will actually be exploring solutions to.

#One of the solutions will probably be a hog hunt which I'm excited for #As there's a bunch of things each person can do to help with that #It's really such a shame that canon is so hyperfixated on disabled cats feeling like they 'need to be useful' in a very well established--#Society where they CAN just be comfortably cared for #It frustrates me that the series keeps portraying that as a Good Thing and not either a tragedy of self-worth OR an exploration of--#SOCIAL ableism.#So for BB!DOTC I'm going to try and take aim at both #Ok then; let's TALK about a small underdog group who needs its members to contribute #And let's talk about how even THIS little group INNATELY values its members. How that is good and natural #And how there's NO excuse for the bigger group to be so cruel. It's not neccesity. It never was. It was spite.#Thunder Storm says 'The point of having a group at all is to care for each other. NOT to have it serve you.'#Man really comes out here like FROM EACH ACCORDING TO HIS ABILITY. TO EACH ACCORDING TO HIS NEED #And I am trying to think of how to stress how MUCH food SkyClan has. Like how I'll show that...#I'll definitely need to make sure to set up a lot during the time Thunder Storm is Clear Sky's acolyte.#Btw does that sound like a good word? Trying to figure out what Tribe cats call their apprentices #Because fuuuuck no I'm not calling them To-bes

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hella1975 · 1 year

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ive got an essay due at 3pm tomorrow and ive not even looked at it i am so so unserious about my degree and by the grace of some higher being i somehow keep managing to crawl through it's actually getting a bit funny

#me and an old friend of mine used to have a running joke during a-levels that im just one of those people where shit Works Out #and it started bc we shared two a-levels (english and economics) and in BOTH classes i regularly didn't do the homework #or the reading etc and yet it would ALWAYS work out for me #like we'd walk into a class neither of us having done the homework and they'd get yelled at while i went under the radar somehow #or that one english essay i got the highest score in the class when i literally hadn't even read the fucking book it was on #and when we pointed the theory out it started just becoming really prevalent #like no matter how late i am for things i'll arrive and by some miracle the thing im late for is also late (e.g a train or teacher)#like im just one of those people that has very very mundane luck #and low and behold i am fighting this degree with bloody fists putting the absolute bare minimum in for my own sanity's sake #and i SOMEHOW keep pulling through. literally failed two modules last year and STILL got a 2:1 average #and the last essay i wrote was the worst essay id ever done in my life and i get my standards are higher bc ik im good at essays #but the point still stands and you know what? i got a FIRST #literally was pure waffle i have never blagged it so hard and i got a FIRST #and all this shit just makes me cockier and cockier and go even more by the skin of my teeth and it ALWAYS WORKS OUT #it's soooo silly but im not complaining. anyway ill keep u posted about this essay <3 it's econ history so is actually interesting #but the most ive done for it is ask the sc ai lmao and for context degree-level essays usually require a good few days of graft #live love laziness #hella goes to uni

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hcguesstheauthormessageboard · 4 days

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shuffling around on my tiny podium holding little notecards in my hands. ummmmm hello everyone!!!! a little eldritch entity told me that we're alive again? we're alive again!!!

hermitcraft guess the author is back for 2024 and THIS messageboard will be active again!!

please don't use the same anon name as 2023's for anonymity's sake, but please DO come and chat here!

the rules are the same as last time, don't ask and don't tell, and stay on anon!!!!

for my own sake, since i did reveal my own identity (but hopefully many of you have forgotten by now), i will be using a shell anon! (if you like, you can even try and guess who i am)

i am so incredibly excited to participate in this event again and i encourage everyone to come down and chat with us!!

#guess the author #i hope all of the past anons join us again!!!!#of course you all will be known by different names #perhaps it's time to forget the past and forge a new life...#so maybe i'll pick a new name while i'm at it.#i think... this time.... i'll go by tizona (tizón) ...#still keeping the sword theme of course #if anyone is curious: tizona (tizón) is a castillan spanish sword from the late 1400s!#it is similar to many swords of legend in which it is both from a famous legend and also a real sword that is on public display!!#tizón is the older name for the sword and it roughly translates to “firebrand”; the blade inscription of the marcilla sword says tizona #sorry for the sword infodump but swords are very very very cool

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moinsbienquekaworu · 1 month

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I have a post in my brain and I'm not going to make it. But. Know that I am vibrating more than a human should. Blorbos are being spun in my brain faster than in a centrifuge

#genuinely couldn't cope if i didn't have fandom #when i say i owe creators my life i mean it in so many ways #okay i'll give you the post you've earned it if you're here #(and it feels less... it's more intimate in the tags. less public and obvious)#anyway. so the post was going to be #''you're not going to kiss me' 'now give us a kiss' what if i exploded!!! why are they always like this!!!'#in reference to two different pairs of characters i think should be kissing about their weird relationship #who both have a line at some point where they joke about kissing #if you know who it is keep that to yourself this is my diary. but you can feel self-satisfied that you know if you do!#wow i have a ramble tag now

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spacemancharisma · 11 days

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#I don't know how to do this #I don't know how to fucking do this #I had a fucking Hours long crying breakdown after my parents left today #bc i'll never be fucking good enough for them #but if I say anything then we're acknowledging it and maybe it's better to not acknowledge it #maybe we just go back to ignoring the distance #if I say anything then I’m the bad guy again #I don't want to have to do this I don't want to have to keep being the one who steps forward first #I just want to stop trying and let it be what it is and let it hurt in a dull distant way #i've started crying again just from thinking about it #and I don't cry. I haven't cried more than like a light sniffle in three years until today #(bc of antidepressants)#I don't know what to do #I don't want to make it worse I don't want to hurt her feelings I don't want to be the one that starts shit #and I knoowwww I’m gaslighting myself bc she trained me to do this and I Cannot ignore the. two hour bathtub sob #but god what if I *am* the problem what if I *am* instigating and actually we had a good day #what if I’m expecting too much from her and this is better so maybe this is as good as it gets #do I bear it? do I bear it because she can't?#I know it's not fair and I know i'm hurting but maybe that's better than her hurting #do I just carry it for both of us?#I’m not a kid anymore I don't have that excuse #maybe this is womanhood. carrying it so your mother doesn't have to #she's carrying it for my grandmother. maybe this is just it.#I don't know. I don't know what to do.#I’m so fucking tired and it hurts #whatever.#vent #sad kids with bad moms club

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stirdrawsandreblaws · 3 months

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if you see this feel free to reblog and bitch abt whatever you want in the tags

#tumblr holiday #bitchin wednesday #i feel like a lot of us need to vent so fuck it let's go #i'll start: my voc rep keeps sending me fucked up paperwork. today it was formatted wrong and sent with someone else's info on it too #also i somehow sprained/strained a muscle attached to my rib so moving and breathing both hurt

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fudge24-7 · 4 months

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Wondering if tumblr is really good for me

#fudge does a talky talk #idk im just thinking #i keep on going to reply sections (bad idea)#and find myself getting into arguments #but what im most concerned about is how #idk harsh i feel im becoming?#like i try my best to somewhat be polite even in repkies but I find myself failing #and i feel like the hostility in tumblr reply sections in general might be a part of that #idk i probably just need to stay away from replies #i geuss whats concerning as well is that i usually tried to avoid arguments in the past #it felt like a pointless waste of energy that wouldn't change the other oersons mind anyway and woukd juetclead to anger on both sides #maybe in some ways its better that I'm more open to the idea people won't always be closed minded but #idk if thats worth the amount of aggression that usually comes with using tumblr reoky sections #or if replying and argueing at all is really worth it #or maybe I'm just blaming tumblr for a me problem idk #because I'll admit deep down kindness is not my first instinct #it is unfortunately to insult and attack perceived threats #i try to manage that but i don't always succeed #maybe tumblr doesn't help but idk #I know I don't usually make posts like these but #i geuss i should in case this leads to me not using tumblr as much? idk if thats going to haooen honestly but I'm thinking #In case it does i felt i should post this so people would udnerstand whats going on #i geuss i don't exactly owe anyone that but #I also wanted to get this off my chest #the more i think about it i think this is more of a 'tumblr bringing out the worst in me' then 'tumblr making me act a way i usually wouldn #idk what haplened with the reoly sections though i really used to not do that #geuss I've been desperate for human interaction? and getting into arguments is easier then starting a freindly conversation with someone #and idk maybe I've been feeling frusterated and like I can't really express my feelings to the people around me #so I've also been craving being able to actually say I don't agree with something #vent post

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front-facing-pokemon · 11 months

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#cascoon #it's like silcoon‚ but purple and pointy! desperately trying to remember how this one comes about. i'm gonna seem like a fake pokémon fan #i know silcoon and cascoon are both evolutions of wurmple. but i don't remember what the criteria are. is it a gender thing? hold on google #oh. it's just. some hidden personality value. so it's effectively random #y'know what. i think that's better than it being a gender thing. shoutout. but it could be considerably more interesting #maybe i'm just conditioned by the hitmonline to think that every evolution criteria has to be stupid and obscure and insane #or finizen At All #or all the stupid-ass trade evos. do not like trade evos. i do Not like trade evos! i have said this before but i will keep saying it #i just realized i called cascoon purple and pointy as though silcoon was not pointy. i'm not with it at all this morning #i just woke up‚ y'all. can you tell. can you tell i'm not sentient yet. i have to go to work in like an hour and a half and i am Not ready #anyway. i'm gonna get this guy up in the queue and dustox and then take my meds. see you guys in the dustox post #this must look so weird to y'all. since dustox is gonna be either multiple hours or a whole Day after cascoon #but i queue up two to three pokémon at once every morning to keep a good backlog in the queue in case one morning i miss it #which has happened before. it's saved my ass before. and i'm gonna need to use it at the beginning of july #sneak peek for you guys. i'll be heading out of town on june 30th to go to the other side of the country for work. so i won't be around #any posts you see from june 30th to july 4th are gonna be like super duper queued in advance. and i probably won't be able to answer asks #or anything like that. i dunno if i'll do a formal announcement bc no one will even notice but for you dear reader #who read this deep into my mile-long cascoon tags. you now know that i will be out of town from june 30th to july 4th #use this power wisely….

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sheliesshattered · 3 months

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My last post about the progress on my Batuu vest left off with me contemplating exterior pockets, looking to Bix Caleen as an example of a fitted vest in the Star Wars universe. I ended up talking myself out of any visible exterior pockets, with or without flaps, after looking at all those pictures of Bix. I've got enough other bits of visual interest going on with my outfit that I felt like exterior pockets just cluttered up the look.

Once I had decided against adding additional pockets, I was able to move on to the next step: finishing all the edges and attaching the lining to the exterior in preparation for getting the zipper in place. I turned under the armscyes of the lining and the exterior separately, both using a blue lace hem tape that I originally bought to go with this fabric back in 2016. Eventually I'll top-stitch them together with the hem tape sandwiched invisibly between the exterior and the lining, but for now they're finished enough to allow me to try the vest on without fraying the armscyes.

It took me awhile to think through all the steps for attaching the zipper, with all the asymmetry and overlapping and exterior and lining, while also not wanting the zipper to show from the outside at all. Eventually I figured out that I would need the underlap (left front) to be completely sewn together with the edges finished before I could attach the zipper to that side -- but I would need the overlap (right front) to not be sewn together yet, so that I could attach the zipper just to the lining.

With that finally figured out, I put the lining and the exterior together with right/finished sides together, lined up all the seams and notches carefully, then pinned the edges together from the left (underlap side) shoulder, down the center front of the underlap, and around the lower edge of the vest all the way around to the bottom corner of the center front on the overlapping right side of the vest.

After a lot of ironing to get all of that to lay flat when right side out, I was able to trim the center front edge of the overlap to be nice and clean and straight again. When I drafted the center front panels, I modified that right side to have an additional ~2" of width past where I wanted the zipper to be, specifically so there would be a built-in flap to cover over the zipper. Remember: no visible zippers in Star Wars!

Once I had the overlap panels of both the lining and the exterior all trued up, I marked the center front line on the lining side (in the below pic, the angled line going from lower left to upper right), laid half of the separating zipper onto the fabric so that the teeth were lined up with where the center front line met the lower edge of the vest, then measured from the outside edge of the zipper ribbon to the cut edge of the overlap panel. It was just about 7cm away from that edge, so I measured that distance all the way up (past the dashed line that marked the underbust elevation) and drew a nice crisp line with my chalk pen.

That gave me an easy line to follow when sewing the zipper to the inside/lining of the overlapping flap. Since I hadn't sewn the edge of that panel together yet, I was able to move the exterior layer out of the way and sew the zipper only to the lining, for now. I sewed one line of stitching just slightly in from the outside edge of the zipper ribbon, then did a second pass about halfway between the edge and the zipper teeth. It's on there nice and secure, but has a bit of room to separate from the fabric while it's being zipped, so it doesn't get fiddly.

After that, it was just a matter of pinning the other side of the zipper to the lower front corner of the underlap (this time on the exterior side of the fabric, where it faces the lining of the overlap), then try it on with the rest of my Batuu Bounding outfit and pin the underlap side of the zipper until I had the fit I wanted.

I sewed down that side to match the overlap panel side of the zipper, then tried everything on again to double-check the fit. It was a bit weird with the exterior of the overlap flap still unattached, but it fit well enough that I decided to sew the edges of that overlap flap from the lower corner up to the shoulder seam. The back of the neckline is still open, and the armscyes have been turned under but not attached to each other yet, so I can turn the whole thing right side out by pulling it through the back of the neck. With all that ironed and the zipper zipped up, the vest looks like this currently:

Folding back the outer edge of the overlap reveals the zipper. Because of all the overlapping and underlapping, the zipper is just top-stitched in place. It was way more mind-bending to figure out where everything needed to be placed to get this look, but way easier to actually sew on than, say, an invisible zipper set into a seam.

At this point I was able to try on the vest (with my Jyn Erso sweatshirt) and get a pretty good idea of the overall look. I still want to do a bunch of top-stitching both for accent and to help everything lay flat, but even with that I think I'm going to need something to keep the flap over the zipper from coming open.

I looked at a bunch of options for Star Wars-y looking buckles, settled on one I liked the best, then cut the basic size of them out of paper and taped five of them to the outside of the overlap just to get a basic idea of how it would look. I got Jack to weigh in on it too, and we both felt that the buckles were reducing the sleekness of the vest, and weirdly pushing it more towards an Imperial/First Order sort of look. My character isn't an out-and-out rebel, but she doesn't side with the First Order either. I pulled the taped on paper off again, and both Jack and I felt that that was the significantly better look.

But since I knew I still wanted some sort of closures to keep the flap down -- including one at the top left shoulder, that will hang open most of the time, along the lines of Han Solo's and Cassian Andor's shirts (and a bunch of others, this sort of overlap detail shows up frequently all throughout the franchise) and thus be visible where it hangs open.

I ended up finding these slightly unusual looking hooks-and-eyes that I think will provide a nice, nearly invisible look through the torso of the vest, but not look totally out of place on the flap edge that's hanging open. Bix's fitted coat has a similar closure of just barely visible, just slightly odd hooks and eyes, so I feel like I'm in good company there. They should arrive tomorrow, giving me enough time to hopefully get some of the top-stitching done before then.

That top-stitching is the next step, and one of the last things I need to do for this vest project. I want to top-stitch just inside all the finished edges, including the armscyes, and on each side of each of the seams, probably 2-3mm away from the edge and the seamline. That's going to involve getting everything lined up correctly and all the seam allowances lying flat inside the space between the exterior and the lining, but I think the effect will be totally worth it, both for the smoother fit and the subtle visual interest.

After that, I'll have some handsewing to do to invisibly anchor the zipper to the exterior of the overlap panel and to attach the hooks and eyes, once they arrive. The very last thing I'll do on this project is decide if I want a little stand-up half collar that ends somewhere on top of the shoulder, a bit like the one on Jyn Erso's vest.

I'm pretty sure I want a collar like that, the question is just if I need to lower the neckline in the back first, and then how far forward on the shoulder I should bring the collar. Once I've decided on that, I'll cut it out in two layers, lining and exterior, and sew the outside edges together. Then I'll be able to sew the lower edge of the exterior to the back of the neckline, and hand-sew the lining lower edge to fully encase all the raw edges. I did something similar with the Moment vest, and it comes together pretty quickly. I think I should be able to have the vest completely done by this time next week without much trouble. Hopefully.

Alongside working on my vest, I've been continuing to hand-sew the pleated panels onto Jack's jacket. In the tags on my last sewing update, I mentioned that I had about 5" still to go on the first panel. I was in the really annoying section in the middle of the sleeve where I really had to put my whole arm into the sleeve just to pass the needle through, and it was slow-going. I had to make myself push through that annoying section, rather than continue to put it off.

Eventually I worked my way all the way down to the cuff, cut off the excess from the pleated panel, turn under the edges of the lowest pleat, and hand-sew that into place. I am so pleased with how it turned out, but to keep Jack from making jokes about only having one sleeve done (and so that I wouldn't find myself with time to hand-sew and nothing ready to sew), I quickly pushed on to getting the second pleated strip started. I took a bunch of measurements from the finished sleeve and transferred them to the second sleeve, pinned the pleated panel into place, and had Jack try it on just to double-check the placement.

I was able to tear through the upper section of that second panel, between my increased speed and confidence in my method of hand-sewing this, the easy access through the neck side of the jacket, and a couple of long-ass work meetings where I was basically just there to listen in and take notes every now and then. As of posting this, I'm about halfway through with the second panel, and starting to get into that annoying section of the sleeve again.

The effect of the pleated panels on both sleeves is just so cool that I will definitely be getting photos of the jacket on Jack at some point, either on our Disneyland day or during a try-on before that. He's somewhat allergic to photos, but damn it I'm proud of how this looks, and I want to show it off. I've been calling it a 'sewist flex' from the very beginning -- look at what I can do, look at how cool and Star Wars-y it is -- and I'm really looking forward to sending this beauty out into the world in all its epicness.

And I think Jack feels similarly, based on how he's been talking about wearing this jacket all the time once it's done. His whole outfit together (this jacket, cream colored henley shirt with the buttons and bottonholes removed, mustard-y tan moto jeans, hiking boots) looks wonderfully casual Batuu Bound. The effect of the whole thing is Star Wars, but none of the individual pieces feel weird or costume-y. He might not wear those pieces together for anything other than going to Batuu, but each piece paired with something else looks pretty normal. So if Jack is able to get a lot of wear out of this modified jacket, all the better. I know I'll get that burst of sewist pride every time I see him wear it, lol.

#my sewing #Batuu Bounding #Batuu vest #Jack's jacket project #2024 mood #long post #10 days to go and I'm using all my excitement to keep making progress on sewing #also I've started rewatching The Mandalorian if only as a way to take a break from all the Star Wars YouTube videos I've been watching lol #there are still a couple of other tiny details I would like to do if I get time for them. in particular:#finding a way to cover the laces of my Doc Martens and the buckle on my belt #adding a place or two for 'code cylinders' on both my outfit and Jack's (especially since we don't have any other greebles)#breaking out the needle-nose pliers to adjust the length of some earrings that look cool with my outfit but hang just a bit too low #and finally gluing down the wraps on my kyber crystal necklace so I can be confident that the crystal won't fall out at some point at DL #the necklace is really the only one that MUST be done. the rest are entirely nice-to-have but I'm hoping I'll have time #and on that note I should get back to sewing lol

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lonepower · 26 days

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also while i'm on the subject because the dark side as a game mechanic was done SO well and then the dark side as a story/character mechanic left me desperately wanting so much more:

Does anyone have that post that was something along the lines of, the force is less like a coin with two sides and more like an ocean, where the further down you go and the less careful you are with it, the hungrier and more eldritch it gets? it mentions some fucked up sith, one named nihilus (searching his name turns up a picture I remember but not the post in question) and one who was... essentially dead and puppeting his own body around through sheer force (🥁💥) of will? Or something like that? (those may be the same guy actually, idk?)

I really liked it but i never reblogged it and now i can't stop thinking about it. help

#“the force is a magical power that can be easily used for evil if you don't micromanage your emotions” BORING #“the force is alive and it is bottomless and it is Hungry” YOU. KEEP TALKING.#star wars #<- I'll untag this if/when I find it #chi plays jfo #(chi is laying in bed still thinking about jfo)#(I'm definitely going to take them a lot slower this time. they were both so much shorter than i wanted them to be...)#(maybe if I don't just charge through at breakneck speed I'll actually absorb a little more lol)#this has been a post

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dreamlogic · 7 months

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...

#chronic blogging #shit chat #well at this point both of my parents (who i inherited my Just Tough It Out streak from) have #upon hearing how bad my post-hysterectomy pain has been #told me 'umm no you need to go see someone.' and 'please just go to urgent care i will pay for it if your insurance won't.' respectively #haunted by the ghost of my right ovary (sharp stabbing pains & debilitating muscle spasms around the incision site)#it's been 1.5 years since surgery and it's getting worse not better #at my 1mo post op i was like 'hey right side hurts a lot worse & the incision seems really wonky & off-center. thoughts?'#they said it was nothing to worry about give it time i might still be feeling pain up to 6mo post op #sooo 8mo post op contact surgeon again 'hey remember that thing i mentioned? yeah still hurts bad enough i struggle to walk sometimes'#she says eeehhh maybe you developed pelvic floor dysfunction or always had it and surgery made it worse. read this book & do some stretches #book stretches & muscle relaxers helped for a bit so i just carried on but it was not improving in fact becoming more persistent #lil over a year post op contact surgeon like 'HEY do not ignore me i am in an amount of pain that is NOT NORMAL and you WILL see me'#drive 1+ hrs for her to poke at me for ~10 minutes ignore most of what i was saying and determine it's just muscle spasms do more stretches #said physical therapy MIGHT help if i did it 2x monthly for at least 6mo. which would've involved commuting over an hour during the workweek #no THANK you i'll just keep doing my stupid stretches. and the thing is.#the stretches ARE helping. i feel my overall balance/flexibility/stamina improving #but that by contrast is making the STABBING PAINS WHERE MY RIGHT OVARY USED TO BE all the more obvious #'oh it's just muscle spasms' well why the FUCK are my muscles spasming around THIS SPOT EXCLUSIVELY for SEVENTEEN MONTHS STRAIGHT #i have essentially no pain on my left side at all. i feel overall just fine & dandy but i am convinced there is something #like. very seriously wrong on the right side causing this #and yeah if my surgeon won't listen to me maybe i will check myself into urgent care and demand an ultrasound #(which btw i asked for during my last visit & she told me it was unnecessary & to fuck off)#but now the two people who instilled me with a very deep mistrust for the medical industry #and from who i learned from via a lifetime of observation how to dissociate from chronic pain in order to function #are telling me 'yeah no this is bad you need a DOCTOR.' umm. i probably need a doctor.#was talking w/ E last night about degrees of pain & like. avg day is like 4-6 on a 0-10 scale. good days 2-3.#i don't consider calling out from work unless it's like an 8 or higher cause i'm just so used to it.#i'm sick of it. so fucking bored with being in constant pain. i want my life & energy back. i want a personality beyond Oh Just Tired back.#i wanna be able to enjoy touch again with immediately hitting overstimulation threshold due to pain.

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kenobihater · 8 months

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goddamnit. am i actually having a sexuality epiphany because i'm recognizing myself in a fictional cringefail vampire man. you gotta be kidding me

#in my defense being both on the ace spectrum AND hypersexual is a bit of a confusing thing to experience #maybe i'll feel different abt it later but for rn i think that explains a LOT #for real this explains why i don't care about sex 90% of the time but when i do it's like going 0 to 100 in .2 seconds #oh my god. oh my fucking god i used to think gray asexuality was silly bc 'everyone feels that way' oh my GOD i'm a fucking idiot #head in hands bro. cannot believe i was that fucking stupid as a teenager. i was THAT CLOSE to getting it 😮‍💨#i should talk to my therapist abt this... i haven't talked to anyone abt my hypersexuality ever bc its such a stigmatized symptom but damn #i'm not gonna blame my bipolar for this or anything but damn did it make this possible answer SO much more obscured in my mind #like... damn. i feel so flabbergasted by this #i keep saying damn in the tags. dude this revelation has rendered me without the proper words to convey my emotions.........#i'm gonna be fine but rn i feel all kinds of off kilter from this realization. and i'm still doubting it even so! but it would make SO much #sense!!!!!! ugh i haven't questioned any aspect of my sexuality in earnest in years i genuinely forgot how much it sucks #like yeah there's relief maybe? but also just confusion and annoyance abt my past blindness #god. this is a huge tag ramble i think i'm gonna stop talking now #len speaks

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alalumin · 3 months

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FYI, I am going to be referring to my comic as "Old Souls!" (with an exclamation mark) from now on! "Old souls: the thread of life" is too much of a mouthful to be a proper title and I only tagged it that to have a specific tag for it really, but I like this workaround.

How did I not think of that earlier? Idk

#i think it's fun #the thread of life was the subtitle for part 1 so it wasn't going to work for the whole series either way #it was always going to just be old souls i promise i didn't just change the title out of nowhere😭#the update corner #you can keep tagging it with the original tag if you want you don't have to change that. I'll be using both

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pyrriax · 2 months

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HI TUMBLR late footnote posting before i go to bed (i took a nap today........ ate up most of my time)

not a lot to talk about with footnotes today since i was Busy and my brain wasnt working pfndkmlfd i blame seven hours of modded oneblock

#haunted ecosystem #haunted bookshelf #i might make a tag for these footnote posts? i think its a fun way to document what ive written about without sharing All of it #also yes thats a random crack au that i've have in the back of my head for a bit what about it #i dont think its canon in the slightest its just a funny little thing in my head for writing random bs #honestly i might start trying to work on more wtds stuff. this is kind of a perfect excuse #also! i think how i might work this is that if i work on a larger project during the day then i'll just do the daily prompt #since its a good exercise and an excuse to keep some kind of writing streak going #i actually asked one of my partners for a prompt since i was struggling to find an interesting one #ended up with 'last man standing' for spoke... very fitting tbh #i might write a more canon take for that. the concept i wrote down was much more set in an au than anything since i was also thinking #about asomatous zam at the same time so i kind of just incorparated both of them into it with it being paracosm-era #OH did i ever mention that i have a general title plan for the other parts of that kind of. world #its very set in stone that if i do write more it'll be two more parts #metamorphosis (5 part) and paracosm (1 part with multiple scenes. functionally 3 part maybe?)#asomatous goes in the middle of that. i need to kind of plan all of them out better and see how it wants to flow #metamorphosis was started as a concept because i had a few bad things happen bingo prompts i wanted to be used for asomatous #but didnt end up using. so metamorphosis is my excuse for that. paracosm is just a Concept thats been really plaguing me basically since i #originally wrote asomatous... i should probably come up with a temporary series title. i think something about shattering skies?#its a reoccurring theme and symbol throughout all of them....... i just think its neat #ANYWAYS goodnight to you especially if you actually read through all my tags :)

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furshrimps · 2 months

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Now that Sammy's been doing better for a while I've started thinking again that it would be a good time to see if I can find a better home for him.

In my logical mind it seems the better choice for each of us, overall. For him, for me, even for Bats. I would sorely miss his incredible over-the-top goofiness and that he so easily is motivated to play with or without toys, and just his personal quirky flavor of endless love and affection, his abundant happiness. Knowing myself, I'll probably even miss the challenges in some way. A very bright light of love would be disappearing from my life, and just thinking about losing it makes me cry. The other thing I'm not looking forward to is that I probably should inform his breeder, and I probably could do without whatever she has to say about it. I'm imagining it wouldn't be something nice necessarily, based on my previous experiences with her (although I'd be happy to be proven wrong about that, it could very well be just my fear of rejection speaking). Still, I think she deserves to know IF I indeed find someone I'd trust him with.

On the other hand. To know him in good hands that can provide more training, more enrichment, better/ easier vet care as he gets even older. All things I do struggle with a lot since my health took a turn for the worse, and which I already did struggle with from the start, albeit much more low key. It would lift a huge responsibility from my shoulders, and maybe grant him the chance of a more fulfilled life in the years he has left. I knew from the start he's not the dog for me, that he requires more energy than I have to give, even though I tried my best to provide him with everything I could give him during our years together. And we definitely did give each other a large amount of great experiences that I wanna say we both don't want to have missed.

But I think I at least should try. I'm thinking of making it a requirement that any interested person will visit us a number of times to spend time with him and do things with him, so I can see if he starts opening up to them at all, and maybe see how they handle him in his not-so-good moments. Ultimately, I would leave that decision for Sammy himself, though, since animals tend to have a good idea about where they need to go themselves. I think he deserves to be given that chance. If it works, it works, and I'd be happy to let him go to a better life. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't, then he stays here for the rest of his life and we'll make it work somehow. However that is, but in some way we'll make it work if it comes to that.

#sam the papillon #for what it's worth I think he was meant to spend at least a few years with us #he gave those little signs when we picked him up #the only person he briefly made eye contact with was me #he's very good at ignoring people #and it was just this once on that day #(he already had met me once before when I visited him - and on that visit both I and the breeder decided he was not the dog for me)#(only for her to ask me if we can take him along after all the night we went back there to pick up Boo)#(the breeder felt he was not safe in that particular area and we live across the country so it was his best choice at the moment)#the other thing I took as a sign was that he immediately went with my request for him to get into his new carrier #when we had to start running to catch our train back home #he was overweight at the time and wouldn't have been able to keep up otherwise #I asked him to get into the carrier and he went #just like that #as if it was the most normal thing to do with an almost complete stranger #granted he never had an issue with carriers or anything #but it was the thing that decided if we could go back home that day or if we needed to stay at some hotel during the night #it was the last train that day and we caught it because Sammy just did what he was asked 😂#idk #once he gets his final ok with the meds in 2-3 weeks I'll ask my trainer if she knows someone who would be a good fit #and either there is someone or there isn't #that's all I can do

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