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xephinatheeleven · 6 years

Text

The Pain of Assignment (Rewritten)

Word Count: 14,664

Summary: What happens to traits when their host passes away?

IMPORTANT NOTE: No one specifically asked for this rewrite, but I feel that I have greatly improved in my writing since the original was uploaded. I have gone back and read the previous version and felt as if I skimmed over some rather important points. Since it is my most popular one-shot, I wanted to rewrite it with the love and detail it deserves! It is also important to note that any of the activities or scenes left out from the original ARE CANON TO THE REWRITE!!!

You Can Read The Original Here: https://fic-only-dark-strange-daughter.tumblr.com/post/173409071607/the-pain-of-assignment

Hope you enjoy!!!

Warnings: Grief

Pairings: Platonic Only!

Thanks to @jay-wants-to-be-a-paladin once again for helping me to edit my stories!!!

———

Traits were never born with their hosts, instead they were assigned. When a child was brought into the world, a unique combination of four main aspects was appointed to them for the entirety of their lives, creating each individual’s personality. The passing of the host however would return the facets to the Astral Plane where they would wait for reassignment, and the cycle would repeat.

The sides themselves were immortal, but the longer they lived the darker they became, and as time went by, they would develop a much harsher outlook on life. All of the personifications knew the quote, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to watch yourself become the villain,” which summed up the aging process of a trait surprisingly well, even though their immortality made it impossible for them to die. Unfortunately, that meant they would all eventually become “the villain,” so to speak. Using that order, it made sense that morality was the youngest phase, which started when an aspect turned twenty-one, followed closely by creativity. The creative stage started after a facet had had three hosts, and they would remain that way until the eighth human they were a part of passed on. Then once they became logical they were required to have another ten hosts before they would fall into the inevitable darkness that each would become. That was the final, longest, and worst part of their immortal lives, when they finally became a negative character, overall disgusted with life.

There was one way to prevent such a fate, but it was an honor that was rarely bestowed upon any to say the least. Some of the alignments of the moral, creative, logical, and negative sides worked better together that most others and that would result in a particularly fulfilling and selfless life for the human they were a part of. This allowed the embodiments to be granted the gift of Elysium by the Council of the Astral Plane, and when the traits reached the perfect haven that was Elysium, their aging process would come to a halt, and they would be permitted to live the rest of eternity in peace.

If the four manifestations failed, when the person passed on, their soul would go to the Fields of Asphodel, and the aspects would simply be paired off in a different alignment, and they would be assigned to another child. They would be given a way to remember the one they had lost however, a symbolic mark comprised of elements that had been instrumental in the life of, or important to the human they would never see again. The more the host had meant to them, the closer the resting place of this mark would be to the heart, sometimes seeming like an open wound as it reminded them of the grief they felt.

Patton, Roman, Logan, and Virgil had grown particularly close not only to their host Thomas, who had been one of the few people to ever be aware of his attributes, but to one another as well, considering the other three to be family, which was uncommon among most facets. It was interesting that the online personality had used the videos he made to help them come to a better understanding with one another without knowing about what would happen to any of them later down the line. Not only that, but the same videos influenced him, his followers, and those around him to be better people and make the world a better place.

Days, months, and years passed in a blur, and before they could process all that had happened, one-by-one, the sides came to the heartbreaking conclusion that the time they had left with Thomas was limited. Eventually he was hospitalized, and each of them struggled with the knowledge that he would never return home, and the traits themselves would be soon be separated, with great odds of never seeing one another again. The thought caused emotions to run high, and they all channeled them differently, Patton spent most of his days in tears, and Logan grew quiet, hardly speaking a word to anyone. Virgil, as the eldest had been though the process the most, and took up the position of trying to console the others despite his own grief and worry which shown clearly behind his eyes, and Roman searched desperately for a way to grant them all more time.

As the weeks passed, the characteristics learned when the doctors and other staff would come by, and the four of them would sit with Thomas in between rounds. His family and friend’s previous knowledge of them proved to be a blessing, seeing as that allowed them to visit the real-world, even when they were present. More than once despite this advantage the logical or negative aspects had been forced to take their moral counterpart back to the mindscape when he began sobbing hysterically. It was also decided for the safety of not being discovered, that the ethical facet couldn’t stay with their host alone. Sadly, they knew his emotions would cloud his judgment, and in a time of crisis he would not leave if he heard the doctors coming, so someone else had to be there to drag him away if need be. The creative persona on the other hand did his best to not let what he felt show, but on multiple occasions he had left the bedside of the YouTuber, cheeks wet with tears. Then there was Anxiety, who had difficulties sleeping at the best of times, so he elected to stay with the online personality though the night, permitting the others to try and get some rest.

To everyone’s dismay, Thomas slowly became less responsive, to the point that he was unable to acknowledge the presence of even his own sides. Then, after a few more agonizing weeks, with family and friends gathered around, they all heard it, the single, high-pitched, and unbroken tone from one of the machines which indicated the lack of a heartbeat. Morality immediately started sobbing, clinging to Logic whose professionalism was momentarily forgotten as tears sparkled in his own sorrow filled eyes. Princey placed his head in his hands as a last attempt to hide the flood of grief that caused his shoulders to shake, but when he glanced up for just a second, he locked eyes with the darkest trait and saw his own pain mirrored there. The family in the room broke away to get those who were absent, and the four aspects took their opportunity, and with hushed goodbyes they synced out of the real world, bidding farewell to the best host they had ever had the honor to serve.

Despite knowing what came next, each of them was taken by surprise when they didn’t reappear in the mindscape; instead they stood before the Council of the Astral Plane. They were given no time to react as a female voice chimed from above them, and Roman wondered how anyone could be so cheery on the eve of such a tragedy. “In accordance with our laws, you will be granted the customary six months to mourn your loss before the time of your reassignment. We apologize for any hardships or negative feelings that this most recent event has inflicted, and we hope you readjust well to the Astral Plane.” The fanciful archetype could feel his blood boiling as the shallow-sounding words were said in her squeaky, joyous tone. It actually took all of his power to keep his mouth shut as she moved back to join her colleagues; these were facets who would never experience the trauma that they were going through.

The next to step forward was a man dressed in the dark robes that marked the Leader of the Council, theoretically the most respected person in all of the Astral Plane, and that was the reason he held his tongue. Unlike the woman a moment before, he didn’t carry himself with the same light and care-free demeanor; there was sympathy in his eyes, but his voice remained professional and authoritative. “We know that this loss has touched all of you deeply, more so than any before,” he paused, and it wasn’t until the speaker locked eyes with him, that usually-whimsical side realized the glare he wore, but he didn’t shift his gaze. Eventually the one standing above them looked away, maintaining his calm integrity, “understanding the relationship you held with this host,” he waved his hand over them. “The symbolic mark he leaves upon you rests as near to the heart as it can…just below your left collarbone.”

Each of them pulled gingerly at their shirts, and after a few seconds they were left in an awed silence, but it was broken when a sob escaped their youngest companion. His knees buckled, and all three of the others jumped to catch him, but Virgil was the nearest and braced his ethical companion with a shoulder. The tattoo that each of them now bore was done in an array of colors, but was still clearly the YouTube symbol, with the outline structured like a molecule, with both ionic and covalent bonds. The three main components representing Thomas’s sexuality, love for chemistry, and the talent he had shared on the video website.

The sides weren’t allotted much time to process this newest development before being dismissed by a few nods from the Council Members. As they were ushered away, the Prince dared to shoot one last glare at the Leader, he didn’t care about the respect most showed him, all he could think of was how this person had said he understood their relationship with Thomas when he’d never even met him. He didn’t know what he expected in return, but the shadowed look of concern he cast at the floor certainly wasn’t it, but they were separated as the door shut between them. They were promptly faced with the doors to their apartments, all of which just so happened to be next door to one another in the order of their age, but none of that stunned them. The Astral Plane was able to morph and shift, meaning it was not uncommon for any place the Council needed to magically become closer at their will.

Virgil exchanged small tear-blurred glances with the other three as soon as their escorts left them, and wordlessly they walked into their separate flats. He had been back to the Astral Plane so many times that he had actually grown accustomed to his temporary home there, even if he only lived in it for six months at a time. That being the case, he still found himself longing to be back in his room in Thomas’s mind-palace.

Shaking his head to clear it Anxiety timidly opened the door and flicked on the lights, and to say that he was astonished would have been a massive understatement. In times past his apartment had changed slightly to accommodate the changes in his own personality or interests he picked up during assignment, but never before had it altered itself to be anything like this. What sat before him now in no way resembled his old apartment, and instead was a perfect replica of his room from Thomas’s mindscape.

He couldn’t hear his footsteps as he cautiously moved inside, ensuring that the door latched firmly behind him. It actually sickened the darkly-dressed trait to see, and even interact with such a perfect recreation without it being the real thing. What made it worse was that he so desperately wanted to believe that he was back in his room; he could almost hear Patton downstairs making dinner, or the music of a Disney movie echoing from Princey’s room. It wasn’t until he had made his way over to the desk in the corner, and found the black notebook with all of his notes on the others’ past sleep-walking habits, that he realized the trap that he was allowing himself to fall into. The negative aspect, despite not having grown so close to a host in millennia, knew he needed to put his grief aside, so he could help the others, and be in the correct frame of mind at the time of his reassignment.

Understanding that the only way to prepare himself would be to distance all memories from his mind, especially those he was fond of. Aimlessly the fight-or-flight reflex tossed the book in the trash, a familiar numbness evaporating as his eyes rested on the object that turned his determination into a sorrow-fueled, unbridled rampage. Suddenly, the picture that had no business being in the Astral Plane was resting in his hands, and only served to sadden him further. In the photo, the floor in his room was easily identified by the dark carpet, and on it four figures sat in a circle, and on Morality’s cardigan clad shoulder sat a black kitten, his kitten, Amaya. The feelings he had from the recent loss of his host, and the nearing separation of his family was only intensified by the reminder of a friend whose death he had already mourned.

In a moment of blind fury, the observant facet threw the picture with as much force as he could muster, and as it shattered against the far wall, it shook another frame free of its hook, and fell to the ground with an equally loud crash. The grief and anger obscured the minutes that followed; in his quest to make the flat look as different as possible he could only remember bits and pieces. Drawers were pulled from their places, contents scattered on the floor as wood splintered under the force of impact, the sounds of breaking glass and plastic thankfully overpowered any sobs or yells that escaped him. Somewhere behind the agony and heartache, in the depths of his subconscious, Virgil knew this would be the only reprieve he could allow himself. All too soon the others would need his reserved manner, and experience with death as a means of emotional support; but for now, with his room in shambles, he stumbled over to the bed.

Cleaning the duvet of any debris that had managed to land there, he collapsed into the soft surface, expecting the tears to return, but none came forth. After all the destruction, he merely felt numb, his ears ringing, and his vision faded in and out with what looked like television static. Of the hundreds of hosts he’d had, none had ever left the eldest of the four in such a frayed mental-state, normally he could just move on and ignore what he felt, but it was different this time. In the past he had been able to almost, if not completely forget the existence of those he had previously been a part of, and the ones he had worked with, but this time there was no denying the pain. Thomas had been special, and not only to him, he had been the only one to ever take notice of them, and he had done his best to amend the rough relations between them. Once the personifications had figured out just how much the online character cared for them, the sides had tried to reciprocate by doing what they could to help him through his own dilemmas.

Anxiety tried to clear his mind because while he suffered through what felt like hell, he could only imagine how Patton and Roman were coping. He didn’t know exactly how many hosts they’d had, but by a trait’s standards, they were still young and without experience, the whole process had to be harder on them. He still worried about Logan, but he wasn’t as emotional as the other two, making it a bit easier for him to rationalize his way through the situation.

The gloomy aspect was drawn from his thoughts as a soft knocking echoed from the door, and with his current mindset, it didn’t surprise him that he hadn’t heard anyone approaching. Sucking in a deep breath he got to his feet seeing as it was more than likely the youngest of the others waiting for him in the corridor, so he needed to pull himself together. His room however would be a clear indicator of the mental break he’d just suffered, and as he stepped over what had once been a bookshelf remorse stabbed at him, maybe he shouldn’t have been so quick to destroy his flat, but there was no taking it back now.

Logan had been stunned when he had stepped into his apartment, he had returned to the Astral Plane after seventeen different assignments, and never before had his temporary home fully taken on the appearance of his room from a host’s mind. He abhorred emotion, but he couldn’t deny the anguish that seared at him like someone had set his chest on fire as he took in the details of the area. There was one object though, that drew his attention over everything else, the intellectual didn’t have the faintest clue as to how it had ended up in his flat, but there it was, in the corner of his room, the Celestron 60EQ PowerSeeker that Virgil had given him so many years ago.

Resting his hand on the optical tube, he thought of the memories intertwined with the object, even with the negative facet’s original misgivings on the idea; years later, the two of them had eventually told the others the story behind the scope. As it turned out, no one had made fun, or been overly sappy about it, instead choosing to partake in, and came to love the same astronomic activities. The thoughts of the star-parties they had shared nearly brought tears to his eyes once more because he knew the number of days, and chances of similar moments, with his family were limited.

In an attempt to return to his rational mindset, he turned away from the scientific instrument, but a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror across the room brought Logic to a stand-still. For a brief moment he didn’t recognize the person staring back at him; his skin had become paler, his hair, eyes, and clothes darker, he wasn’t standing as straight and his shoulders were hunched forward slightly. At first he put it off to the major change in his life, thinking that it had shaken him more than he’d previously thought, but the chill that ran down his spine disproved his hypothesis.

The scholar was horrified that such a change had slipped his mind, but it helped to explain the difficulties he was having in keeping his emotions in check, he only had one more host before he would change phase once again. Still overwhelmed, he moved to sit on the edge of his bed, thoughts rushing through his mind as he placed his head in his hands. He wondered what kind of negative archetype he would become. Would he be anxious like Virgil? He couldn’t imagine being so fearful all the time though. Perhaps he would be a depressed side, a long time ago he had worked with such a figment, but the idea of being so dismal was no more appealing. As it was, the analytical trait quite liked who he was presently, but then again, had he not felt the same when he had been in the moral and creative stages of his life? Sighing, he knew the only way to handle the fear was to live one day at a time, and worry about who he would become when he reached that point.

The plan of action offered the academic some relief, but he was unable to relish in it for long when two equally loud crashes sounded from the other side of the wall. A barrage of destructive noises from splintering wood to cracking plastic echoed from the room next to his, and left him to wonder who was causing them and why? It wasn’t until a muffled scream ripped through the air that he understood what exactly was happening.

He had no idea how old the fight-or-flight reflex was, but there was no way he would be able to keep going if he truly remembered and mourned every host he’d had, which more than likely meant that the perfect recreation of his room infuriated him. It was extremely probable that he thought the only way he could get the distance he needed from his memories of Thomas, was by destroying everything he could to get away from them. If that was what he felt was the best course of action, then that was his choice, but he would still go and check on him after all the noises had stopped.

Logan waited in silence for the shatters and bangs to cease, and even then he allowed his friend a few more minutes to compose himself and gather his thoughts. Counting the seconds by tapping his leg, eventually he could no longer justify sitting idly by, and stood to go and help Anxiety. It wasn’t until he had already knocked on the door that he realized the other wouldn’t appreciated being, for lack of a better term, mothered. That meant he had less than twenty seconds to come up with an excuse for why he was seeking his colleague’s attention.

When the threshold opened to him, he couldn’t help but notice the shock and concern that crossed the expression of the darker aspect before being swiftly replaced with the same solemn responsibility he had been upholding for months. The teacher knew the quick lapse of emotion pertained to his change in appearance, but he did not address it. “Look, I know you probably don’t want anyone bothering you right now,” he struggled to come up with a reason for his visit. “I didn’t want to come get you myself, but we are probably the only ones who can put aside our…emotions for the time being.” Virgil raised one eyebrow, looking unconvinced by his words, “Patton and Roman however, I fear may not fare as well in our…current situation.” The claim wasn’t entirely a lie, he was genuinely worried about the others, but he had no idea how he was going to help them with their feelings.

A nod was the only response the observant ideal gave him before wordlessly stepping out of the wreck that was his apartment. They moved to the nearest door, and the rational facet made a point to stand up taller and keep his shoulders back, but he still knew there was something off about his stature. He just had to hope that without the perceptive skills that the one next to him had, they would not notice, and if they did they would also keep it to themselves.

Four swift knocks were soon answered as Morality peered out of his flat, the redness of his face and eyes betraying that he had been in tears since they had last seen one another. When he realized who was seeking his attention, he opened the door a little further, “h-hey kiddos…wh-whatcha need?”

Logic looked to the one in the corridor with him for the response, and after a quick glance he turned back to the youngest manifestation. “We wanted to check in on you before doing the same for Roman,” the eldest paused briefly as if he were searching for how to continue. “Perhaps it would be best of you went ahead and joined, then the four of us could go get something to eat.”

The ethical persona slipped out into the hall, giving them a half-hearted smile, “thanks kids…now let’s go get Roman.”

The Head Council Member stared down at the place where the four traits had been only moments before; trying to hide the shock that coursed though him from the events that had just taken place. He had no idea if the creative side had seen his reaction when he had bravely turned to glare at them one last time, but he hoped not. What caused the wave of surprise was a single moment; he felt that if he had blinked, he would have missed it, still it made him reconsider everything he had previously thought about the group that had just been dismissed. They wouldn’t know it of course, but the Council had been keeping a particularly close eye on the four of them, seeing as they were all strongly considered candidates for Elysium.

Unfortunately for them, they had managed to fall shy in only one of the testing categories, their relations with one another, but in the quick moment after they had received their symbolic marks, the moral aspect had nearly fallen to the floor out of grief. That in itself was not unexpected, it was common for the younger and more innocent to be overwhelmed by the loss of a host, but it had been the occurrence immediately after that had astounded him. Normally, the elder three facets would turn a blind-eye to such an emotional breakdown, but each of them had jumped to help, most notably was the negative embodiment who had succeeded in catching him. More often than not the oldest cared very little for the younger sides, in this case however, he not only cared, but there was something altogether different about him that the Leader couldn’t quite place. He knew that they had also grown close to their host, but now it had come to light that they thought just as highly of one another.

The possibilities raced though his mind, he was not one to go back on his word lightly, and he had already stated that the host’s soul would go to the Fields of Asphodel, and that the attributes would be reassigned. Then again, when he had made the decision, he had been under the impression that the bond between the four was far too weak for them to achieve Elysium, and some didn’t show their true feelings until they underwent a true moment of pain or fear. That now having been the case, he was beginning to rethink his previous resolve, perhaps he had been wrong.

“Sir?” A soft voice jolted him from his thoughts, and he turned to face the speaker and his second-in-command. She was the woman who had first addressed the traits, but she seemed to have lost the preppy edge to her voice, her eyes glittering with a mixture of shock and concern. “P-Please correct me if I am wrong, but we all just witnessed the same thing, those aspects a-acted almost like a…family.” Her words were soft, lacking the confidence she usually portrayed, even falling silent for a moment as if she were contemplating something deeply, and only spurring the curiosity he constantly had for what went on inside her head. Her gaze swept the floor as she dared to continue, “should this newest development not mean that they have passed in all categories, and that they along with their host be granted passage into Elysium?” The look she gave as the question was asked conveyed the fear she held of being rebuked, but he couldn’t constitute the use of anger seeing as she voiced his own thoughts.

The Council Leader allowed the query to tumble through his mind, carefully considering the options that were now laid out before him, “it is a difficult decision.” He took the same low tone so that the others would remain oblivious to their conversation for the time being, “the event in question happened after the passing of the host, does that not invalidate their actions?”

She finally met his eyes, “may I be permitted to speak freely sir?”

“As you were.”

She nodded slowly, “pardon my forwardness, but the relations between facets is one of the few testing categories that is not influenced by the presence of a human.” She took a quick breath, “if we follow that ruling, then it should not matter if the moment of unity transpired before or after the host’s death, as long as it was before the time of reassignment.” She suddenly looked back to the floor, “my apologies for speaking out against your decision sir…if you so desire it, I will accept the papers requesting my removal.”

“That won't be necessary,” he sighed, not comfortable with the idea of going back on a verdict, and in doing so admitting he was wrong. He did believe however, that his second-in-command was correct, and the amount of courage that it took for her to address the topic in such a manner was not lost on him. She would not have done so if she did not feel strongly about the predicament they now found themselves in, “we must be certain, there is no room for error from here on in. It will take an immense amount of work from each department to retrieve the human’s soul from Asphodel, and before that can be acted upon it will require a two-thirds vote by the Council.”

She cast a quick glance in the direction of those still gathered in the auditorium behind them, but looked him in the eye as she responded, “do you not think it justified to at least try? If those personifications have passed all tests, and proven that they are worthy, then who are we to deny them the right they have to go to Elysium?”

He nodded, her conclusion was drawn from sound logic, so he slowly moved to the podium from which he would address the others, “Council Members, hear what I say.” Everyone straightened up, and sat at attention, “we have a serious matter which needs to be settled. You have all borne witness to the events that have just unfolded before us, and I doubt that I need to remind you that the sides who were just dismissed had been strongly considered candidates for Elysium. Their short coming had been in their relations with one another, but the actions that took place only seconds after they had received their symbolic marks leads me to believe that they may be closer to each other that we previously thought. Since this display of what appears to be familial sentiment was exhibited after the passing of their host, it is debatable if this should qualify them for Elysium.” He glanced around as the others waited anxiously for him to continue, “that being said, we must cast a vote as to whether or not this honor should be bestowed upon them, and for an issue of this caliber, we will need a two-thirds compliance in their favor.” He pressed a button on the surface before him, and holographic screens appeared in front of the others casting a green glow on their faces, “cast your votes, but consider your decision carefully. This is not a matter that is to be taken lightly, so take your time.”

He moved his gaze to the side as his second-in-command took her seat; the glimmer of determination in her eyes was only intensified by the light of her screen. She tapped on it a few times and the illumination disappeared, and he could almost feel the certainty of her resolve as she was the first to look up, and he knew already the verdict of her vote. Meanwhile, time seemed to creep by as one-by-one, each of the Council Members gazed up, and their incandescent desks flickered back into sleep mode. Most had an air of confidence surrounding their choices, but others came off as wary, and even he wasn’t sure as to which way he wanted the ballad to swing. In his heart, he knew the woman that worked alongside him was correct, these traits deserved the chance to go to Elysium together, especially since they had grown so close. Equally, he knew just how much time, effort, money, and paperwork it would require to reclaim the human’s soul from the Fields of Asphodel. The guards there were strict, and did not take kindly to a host being taken from their ranks, that being said, even if the vote was in favor of Elysium, he wasn’t certain that they would be capable of finishing all of the preparations and references before the time that the aspects were to be reassigned.

His thoughts came to an abrupt halt as the last screen was cut off, and with everyone now gazing up at him, he slowly moved his hand back to the podium. The screen upon it sprung into life with a blinding blue light that almost made him flinch, but he allowed muscle-memory to guide his fingers through the menus and options. As he did so, he noticed the hush that had fallen over the room, making it clear that the Council Members were all but holding their breath as they waited to hear the results of the census.

After what felt like a century, he found the page he was looking for, and he could hardly believe what he was faced with, even going as far as to refresh the page to make sure there was no technological error. When it came up the same, he accepted the numbers as truth, and lifted his head; there was no use in making the customary call to attention now seeing as the suspense in the room was almost palpable. Clearing his throat he began in a shockingly clear voice, which he prayed wouldn’t crack, “to start, I wish to thank each and every one of you for staying late to participate in this poll.” He paused, looking once more at the white numbers shining up at him just to make sure he hadn’t dreamt them, “of the two hundred fifty of you in this room…two hundred thirty-five of you are in agreeance that the happenings of a few minutes ago are to be validated. Therefore, over two-thirds of you have voted that both the facets and the human’s soul shall achieve the high honor of Elysium.”

The Council Leader didn’t know what reaction he had expected, but the enthusiastic applause that followed his words was not it. Even those who had seemed wary, or voted against joined in on the vehement response. He waited for a few more moments before gesturing for silence, and the room fell quiet once more, “now, I told you to deeply consider your verdict, and I hope that you took my words to heart, because retrieving the human’s soul from Asphodel is not going to be a simple matter. There is much work to be done since we are going back on a previously made decision, but you all are well versed in your departments, and I have no doubt that you will complete your tasks. The most difficult and crucial piece to this endeavor is ensuring that all required business is finished before they are to be reassigned in six months time, so let us not delay any further…dismissed!”

Since they had returned to the Astral Plane, the four attributes that had made up Thomas’s personality had been all but inseparable, not daring to waste any more of the precious time they had together as a family than they had to. Patton wasn’t with them at the moment as he got some well deserved rest, after being cursed with terrifying dreams the night before. Currently however, Virgil sat with Roman and Logan in the park of their apartment complex, but he had grown a bit uncomfortable as the conversation turned to the topic of hosts they’d had prior to Thomas.

Shaking his head, the eldest side hardly heard the question that was asked, “so, Logan, who would you way was your most logical host?”

The academic took no time in finding his answer, “simple…although you might find it to be a bit shocking, the most logical was by far Marie Curie.”

“Hold on, what?” Princey paused briefly, brow furrowed, “I’m not as up to date on scientists as you are, but wasn’t Marie Curie…female?”

The query actually elicited soft laughter from the rational and negative traits, but it was the prior who responded, “well yes, but considering that she lived in the late eighteen and early and nineteen-hundreds, there were not yet labels for gender-fluidity, or the prospect of not fitting cleanly into the ideals of binary genders.”

Noticing that the confusion was yet to leave the expression of the other, Anxiety picked up the topic himself, “I think Logan and I both speak from experience, but there is a reason that people are born non-binary or gender-fluid, and for the same reason there is a spectrum. It all comes down to how many male or female aspects are assigned to a child no matter their physical gender at birth.”

“I’d never thought of that before,” the creative character looked genuinely fascinated and to some extent pleased by the explanation. “Anyway, were you a logical facet when you were assigned to Marie Curie?”

If it was possible, the one in question looked a tad smug, “as a matter of fact, yes. I was quite…gratified when she chose to persue and later win the Nobel Prizes in physics and chemistry.”

“Chemistry,” the darker manifestation smiled softly to himself, “now I know where Thomas got that interest from.”

“Your turn Roman,” Logic let his gaze rest on his fanciful counterpart, “has there been anyone famous who you were a part of?”

“Two people come to mind, the first being Max Steiner…if you know who that is.”

It was clear that the intellectual was at a loss, but the observant persona knew all too well who that was, and was a bit shocked to know that his friend had been a part of his personality, “Logan may not, but I do. Max Steiner was a film-score composer, right?” When the Prince nodded in confirmation, the second-eldest glanced to their companion, clearly impressed, but it was the fight-or-flight reflex who continued, “he composed for Casablanca and Gone with the Wind, didn’t he?”

The imaginative embodiment didn’t notice the smirk he was given at first, “yes! Some of my best work if I do say so myself- what are you grinning about Hot Topic?” As Virgil kept quiet about his little secret, another question was formulated, “I wouldn’t have expected you to know that instead of Logan. How do you know that?”

He allowed himself to chuckle for a second before revealing what he knew, “I was going to wait until my turn, but…I was the negative side of Clark Gable.”

Roman’s eyes grew wide, “you were a part of Clark Gable?!” Despite taking a deep breath, he still sounded astonished, “he played Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind, hold on,” the glimmer in his gaze changed to a shocked understanding. “That means that we have indirectly worked together before we were assigned to the same host!”

The anxious trait hadn’t realized that until it had been plainly laid out for him, and he was sure that he now wore the same look of amazement, “shit…you're right. How have we not discussed this until now?”

“I-I don’t know,” he suddenly snickered, his shoulders shaking slightly, “h-here’s what I want to know, what kind of sedatives were you given to let Clark Gable, as his fight-or-flight reflex, run through a burning movie-set?”

The teacher looked almost horrified by the trivia fact, “the movie-set caught fire! Was everyone okay?”

The other two shared a humor filled look before the darkly-dressed aspect answered, “first of all, the movie-set of Gone with the Wind didn’t burn. Next, the producers took some old sets into an abandoned warehouse at the back of the look where it was filmed, and set them ablaze to get the famous Atlanta Fire scene. Clark Gable, along with Vivien Leigh, Thelma McQueen, and Olivia De Havilland had only one chance to get the take because they were using real flames. Anyway, there’s no reason for you to get worked up, there were fire chiefs and medics everywhere off camera, and no one was injured.” He turned back to the other, “and to answer your question, I don’t really remember how the others talked me into it, but you can rest assured that Clark Gable was not happy about running though the literal burning building.”

The analytical facet appeared comforted, “well, that’s good to know, back on topic however, Virgil do you consider your admission of being part of Clark Gable as your turn?” A nod was the only answer he gave, his sense of discomfort surrounding the conversation returning, “in that case, who was the second person that came to your mind Roman.”

“I was moral at the time,” the whimsical figure gave a side glimpse to the rational archetype, “but, I did have Sir Edmund Halley as a host.”

“Wait, what?!” Despite being a famed scientist and mathematician, it wasn’t Logan who had the outburst, seeing as the eldest beat him to it. Both of the others turned to face him, but he didn’t care, “sorry…just answer me this Sir Sing-a-Lot, were you the one that convinced Halley to be kind with Isaac Newton, and help him through the issues he had with Robert Hooke after he claimed to discover the Spectrum of Light?”

“Newton discovered the Spectrum of Light, not Hooke. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, but I thought that needed to be clarified.”

He merely giggled at Logic’s statement, “I’m not laughing at you, trust me, I know it wasn’t Hooke.” When his friend nodded, he turned back to Princey, who appeared a bit taken aback, “was it you who convinced Halley to help Newton though?”

“Y-Yes…but how do you know that?” Now, Anxiety found it hard to breathe between the bouts of laughter that racked his lungs, “why is that so funny?”

“I-I can’t believe this!” he took a deep breath so that he could remain composed long enough to explain, “I-I’m the reason Newton went into seclusion at all! Had it not been for Halley’s moral side convincing me to ease up and let him try again, Newton may never have left Cambridge at all…that moral side was you!”

As the three of them sat in a dumbfounded silence, Patton walked up, finally having awoken from his nap, and nearly scared them to death when he spoke, “what are you all gawking at kiddos?”

Thankfully Roman stopped his reach for his sword in reaction to the start, but it was the academic who broke from his trace to the point that he could respond to the query. “Well, I’m in awe that these two were previously traits of Edmund Halley,” he gestured to his visionary counterpart, “and Isaac Newton, two era-defining scientists.”

Morality was clearly impressed, but still confused, “okay, what about you two?”

Virgil did his best to shake off what he was feeling, “as it turns out, Roman and I…in completely different centuries have crossed paths, and had hosts who worked together, twice.”

He didn’t know why he noticed, perhaps it was his observational skills, but as the intellectual began asking questions about Edmund Halley, the ethical aspect kept his eyes trained on the ground, tears falling to his shirt. Quietly so as not to draw the attention of the others, the gloomiest of the four moved to comfort his colleague, at first just helping him to sit on the grass away from where their friends could hear, “what’s wrong Pat?”

He picked at the ground, “d-don’t let me tear you away from the conversation just because I can't join in.”

Befuddlement overcame him, but only for a moment, “wait…how old did you say you were?”

The lighter of the two whipped his eyes with the sleeve of the hoodie tied around his shoulders, “I-I didn’t say, but I’m a hundred and eighteen.”

Something about the number set off an alarm in the mind of the fight-or-flight reflex. And silently he did some small calculations, his previous experiences from his logical phase taking over. The number seemed too low; a persona couldn’t be assigned until they turned twenty-one, and Thomas had lived to be ninety-seven. Quickly adding the two, he understood why his companion had allowed himself to become so grief-stricken, and it was simply because he had no experience at all. “Patton…why didn’t you tell us that Thomas was your first host?”

“I-I never really felt like I needed to,” he paused, keeping his eyes on the grass, “it didn’t seem important.”

The eldest drew the youngest into a hug, “of course it’s important,” he made a point to keep his voice soft, and tried not to let his own emotions bleed into his tone. “The loss of your first host is always the hardest,” at the words, the kind figure broke down in his arms, and it didn’t take long for the other two to notice. As they made their way over, it was clear that they considered the sobbing to be the same run-of-the-mill grief that the rest of them were experiencing.

The creative attribute opened his mouth to speak, but stayed silent when Virgil gave him a pointed glare, so instead of talking they just sat down nearby. It took nearly fifteen minutes before they could discern anything the paternal side said from his sobbing, “sh-should I t-tell them?”

He gave his friend a sorrowful smile, “I think we will all be able to help you more if you do.”

“Tell us what exactly?” Even though he sounded professional, there was a glimmer of concern in Logan’s eyes.

The anxious trait received a look that pleaded for him to be the one to respond, so he turned to face the others, but kept one arm around the crying characteristic. “Guys, I’m pretty sure Patton is having a harder time with the loss of Thomas.” He trailed off, looking for the right words, and the others waited patiently for him to continue, “having a harder time because…because Thomas was his first host.”

The sharp intakes of breath conveyed that they understood the severity of what had been said, and both slowly moved to comfort the moral aspect. After a few moments, Princey’s voice rose above the quiet that evening had brought, “I wish you had told us sooner. Virgil is right, we could have done more to help if we’d known.”

“I’m inclined to agree, losing your first host is always the most difficult…and we were closer to Thomas than most traits usually become.” Despite his straight-forward approach, the academic was correct, and the sympathy seemed to be lifting Morality’s spirits. “Perhaps it would aid in your grief if we were to share our own ages, and possibly some experiences we’ve had in the past.”

The darkest of the group felt his stomach drop at the proposition, and the agreeance of the youngest. The last thing he wanted to do was disclose his personal history, thankfully however, the fanciful facet spoke up first, “by an immortal’s standards I’m still fairly young, six hundred eighty-five, but I don’t look a day over thirty! Anyway, I’ve had six hosts including Thomas, so I am about halfway through my creative phase.”

A slight gesture to his side, and the second-eldest jumped on board, “having had seventeen hosts, I am a little over fifteen hundred years of age. That means I…I probably only have one more host before becoming a negative trait.”

The other two looked at him in surprise, but the gloomier figment could only feel saddened by the confirmation of what had already guessed. That was quickly replaced with fear as the other three expectantly, the only issue was he couldn’t tell them, “I-I can't…”

“Virge, we can't hear you,” The Prince gave him a concerned glance, “we know you are the eldest, so there is no reason…”

He trailed off as the fight-or-flight reflex met his gaze, and after a moment of silence he dared to speak again, “I-I can't tell you how old I am, or how many hosts I’ve had because,” he took a deep breath, “because I can't remember.”

It was obvious that morality didn’t understand what that implied, but the other two did. It was the imaginative side who voiced what they were thinking though, “y-you're a Shadowed Lifer?”

Before he could respond, the paternal trait asked the question he had hoped he wouldn’t have to answer, “what’s a Shadowed Lifer?”

“er…Patton, that’s not really a question that you should ask directly to a Shad- Virgil, you-”

“It’s fine Logan, he’s too young to know,” even with his reservations of giving such an explanation, he didn’t want the others to have to carry that burden, or to explain it incorrectly. “Firstly, yes I am a Shadowed Lifer, which is an aspect who has been alive since the beginning of humanity or close to it, and has yet to reach Elysium. The age can range anywhere from seven thousand to two hundred thousand, which is where the ‘lifer’ part of the term comes from, and ‘shadowed’ because, if you’ve been around that long, you're clearly going to be a negative facet.”

The rational persona picked up where he left off, “Shadowed Lifers have a mixed reputation; some see them as wise elders destined to help others through grief.” He paused, giving Anxiety and apologetic glance, “others however, see them as corrupted, or unworthy of Elysium. Most never meet a Shadowed Lifer, and think that the term is just a subject of myth…even I thought that until now.”

The darkly-dressed figure couldn’t help but scoff, “well, I can confidently say that Shadowed Lifers do exist, as for the myth, I don’t really feel like I’m wiser than anyone else…honestly, I think the second description is more accurate.”

Patton couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “do you really think you aren’t worthy of going to Elysium…ever?!”A nonchalant shrug was the only response he was given, and a familiar sense of sympathy fueled rage seared at him, “son, I can’t think of anyone more worthy of going to Elysium!”

The negative character shook his head, “I’m not so sure about th-”

The youngest embodiment cut him off by trying to tackle-hug him, but he attempted to scramble away, and Morality ended up catching Virgil by the leg, and the two of them fell to the ground with a thud. Gasps from the other two indicated that they too saw the similarities to the time in which the ethical and anxious sides had gotten into a mock fight, because the latter had been putting himself down just as he was currently, but no one was laughing now.

Quickly he released the other, and the two go to their feet, brushing off the grass and dirt, an intensified feeling of mourning surrounding the four of them from the recollection of the memory. In the silence that followed, each of them glanced at the sky, which was growing darker by the minute as evening drew to a close. The chill of night began to set in, and it was clear that another day had slipped through their fingers. None of them wanted to be separated, but they knew it was time to go back inside, which gave the caring manifestation an idea, “guys,” slowly he turned to face them, fearing that his composure would crack like ice if he were to move any faster. “I don’t think anyone of us want to be alone right now…so why don’t we go back to my apartment, pop some popcorn and watch a movie?”

The sorrow in the eyes of the others dissipated slightly, and while the observant emotion still looked too distracted from his recent confession to do much other than nod, the Prince smiled, and Logic spoke for the group. “Considering the events of the last half-hour, I think that may be the best decision for all of us.”

Three of them started heading in the direction of the building that housed their flats, but Anxiety remained where he was, eyes fixated on the first stars to appear in the east. “You two go on ahead, we’ll catch up with you soon,” Roman and Logan seemed to understand, giving their friend one last look before continuing on their way. Once they were out of earshot, the father figure walked over to his companion, who looked to be watching as each of the celestial bodies came into view. “Son, you once taught me that I could come to you when I needed help…but I think you have forgotten that you can come to me as well.”

Silence enveloped them for a while before his colleague moved to sit on one of the nearby benches, placing his head in his hands as he did so, and even then it was at least five minutes before he said anything. “I don’t say this to be self-deprecating, so please don’t try to tackle me again, but do you really believe…believe that I will ever get to Elysium?”

The question nearly brought Patton to tears, he didn’t have the slightest clue as to how many times the one sitting next to him had been assigned, but clearly he had come back to the Astral Plane so many times that he had convinced himself that it was his eternal destiny. “I honestly do believe you will get there someday, it’s not your fault that you haven’t been assigned to the right group yet.”

The horror and distraught in his gaze sent a shiver down his spine, sometimes he wondered if the eldest remembered that one of his jobs was to inflict fear, seeing as he would occasionally manage to do so without realizing he had. “I-I have felt closer to you all and Thomas more than anyone I’ve ever worked with in the past.” He trailed off briefly, and if it was possible he looked even more scared than he had before, “wh-what if my being a Shadowed Lifer denied you all a chance at Elysium?!”

“Virgil! I know you asked me not to tackle-hug you, but if you keep talking like that, I’m going to go back on my promise.” He did his best to collect his thoughts, “let me rephrase my earlier statement, you will get to Elysium, and do you want me to tell you why?” The darker side hung his head, but nodded all the same, “you will get to Elysium, because with your experience, you have proven yourself to be as intelligent as Logan. For you to have kept going, even after all these years, you’d have to be as brave as Roman, and even now, you have put your own grief aside to help the rest of us with ours. That easily makes you even more kind-hearted than me.”

His friend seemed to genuinely smile, but only for a moment, “no one could be more kind-hearted than you.”

The compliment meant a lot coming from the Shadowed Lifer, but it only proved what he said to be true, “thank you, but whatever the case may be, Elysium is missing out not having you there for so many years.”

Morality watched in confusion as Anxiety spoke into his hands, “one hundred fifty thousand, nine hundred twenty-seven.”

“What was that kiddo?”

“One hundred fifty thousand, nine hundred twenty-seven…that’s how old I am, over a hundred and fifty thousand years older than you, and yet you still call me kiddo.” The ethical trait had never been happier to hear laughter in his colleague’s voice, but in the same breath, he felt honored, he was the only one the other had chosen to share his age with thus far.

“You may be older than me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still consider you my son,” he allowed himself to giggle for a moment, “I guess that’s paternal instinct overpowering even age.”

The negative aspect finally looked up, true happiness lacing his expression, “I guess paternal instinct really does overpower everything.” Both of them lapsed into laughter for a while, but he eventually spoke again, “thanks Pat…you always have been able to help me, no matter how lost I feel.”

“Well, if you're feeling better we should go join the others,” he helped Virgil to his feet, “at this rate the movie is going to be over before we get there.”

Roman glanced over as he and Patton walked into the flat, and thankfully, despite the state they had been in the last time they’d seen the two who now stepped inside, they all seemed to be in good spirits now. Virgil smiled as he saw the movie that had been chosen, Les Misérables, and he doubted it was coincidence that they had picked the musical, seeing as it was the one they had watched the first time he had joined the others for a family movie night. More importantly, it was the film that had actually spurred him to realize that there were things he had in common with the imaginative facet.

A smile actually made its way to his lips as he sat down in front of the television with the other three, the best part however was that unlike before, both the creative and anxious figures were comfortable turning the songs into duets. They even made a game out of it to keep everyone laughing, seeing who could come up with the most absurd harmonies, whose voice would go the highest, or who could still manage to sing with a mouth full of popcorn. In the end, the point was to try and distract not only the other two, but themselves from the pain they had all been struggling with for five months, and the harsh realities of life for a while.

As they continued acting ridiculous, Morality joined in singing the lyrics that he knew, but proceeded to intelligibly ramble the rest of the time. Before long, even Logan had fallen whim to the side-splitting laughter, and even the more depressing bits of the movie became difficult to take seriously. Whether it was due to the purposely bad singing, or the small, sarcastic comments they would make, by the finale of the musical no one could have guessed that they were in grief.

All good things had to come to an end though, and if they wanted to partake in anything the next day, they all needed to get some rest, so each of them returned to their respective apartments. As the observant personification stepped into his, cautiously making his way through the rest of the wreckage from the first night that he couldn’t be bothered to clean up, he realized just how tired he was. The events of the day felt as if they had happened a century ago, but had drained him of his energy all the same, so he was contented just collapsing into his bed without even changing in pajamas.

He had no idea how long he had been asleep when a knocking at his door drew him to consciousness. Groggily he got to his feet seeing as it was more than likely the youngest character seeking a shoulder to lean on, so the eldest didn’t even bother messing with his hair. He was thankful however, that he had chosen not to change out of his clothes as he made his way across the room once more.

When he opened the entrance to his flat, he didn’t recognize who was standing before him, but his voice was clear and authoritative, “sorry to bother you at such a late hour, but I need to verify, are you Virgil?” He nodded, but didn’t speak, “in that case, the Council of the Astral Plane has requested an audience with you and your colleagues, immediately.”

There was only one reason the Council would want to see them, but Anxiety hadn’t expected it so soon, they were supposed to have six months before reassignment. Glaring at the man who stepped aside to let him out of his apartment, he saw his three companions waiting in the corridor. They all looked downtrodden clearly coming to the same conclusion he had, they were about to be separated early.

He couldn’t help but notice that the kindest side was sobbing, and he began to move in his direction, but one of the escorts stopped him with an arm across his chest. The motion infuriated the observant archetype, and he turned to the perpetrator, and before he even know what he was doing, his voice filled the silence. “With all due respect, this is this moral trait’s first reassignment, and he is seeking the comfort of his friends, a right which you have just denied him. I have never seen an escort with the gall to do something so crass, and quite frankly I find that kind of behavior for a Council Elect to be appalling!” He held the gaze of the man, not daring to blink for fear that it would look as if he were backing down, “therefore, if you are not willing to let him pass, then I request that you allow me to help someone who I consider to be family!”

The escort didn’t seem pleased with the idea of being reprimanded by a civilian, but one of his co-workers whispered something in his ear, and he turned back to face the fight-or-flight reflex. “You may help your companion, and accompany him and the others to your audience.”

“Thank you,” he all but spat the words at the man as he walked over and drew Patton into an embrace. It wasn’t until they were preparing to teleport to the Council that he released him, and registered the shocked and impressed glances that the others gave him. It wasn’t commonplace for someone to talk back to, and especially demand anything from an escort, but he was a Shadowed Lifer, and knew his rights well.

Moments later, they stood back in the room they had appeared in upon their arrival back to the Astral Plane, a deafening silence surrounding them. The smiles plastered on all of the faces of the officials sickened him with anger; did they find joy in tearing families apart? He knew that these aspects would never understand the pain of assignment, or how it felt to lose a host. They would never know the difficulties of being cut off from the rest of the Astral Plane, or how it felt to restart with a new set of facets every few years, but even with all of that, he never expected them to be so sociopathic.

Virgil was ripped from his thoughts as the Leader of the Council addressed them, “am I correct in thinking that you believe you are here to be reassigned?” Though he was still furious, the question left him mystified, in all of the times that he had returned to the Astral Plane, he had never been asked something so obvious.

He made sure that the speaker met his glare before he responded, because Anxiety remembered the day he was elected to lead, and he wanted this man to know just how horrific his sarcasm fueled joke was. “Just in case this is some sort of miscalculation, we were supposed to have another month before our reassignment.” When his words elicited giggles, the negative embodiment wanted nothing more than to lunge at the Council Members, and he probably would have, had they not been in a loft above him. “What can any of you possibly find humorous about this situation? Please inform me, because I don’t see it. Between this, and the appalling behavior of the escort when he denied my friend his right to seek comfort from us, I am disgusted by what this government has become!”

“Young man, it would be in your best interest to watch your tongue, and apologize to the Council.”

The eldest turned slowly to face the escort who had spoken, rage flowing through his veins like the liquid fire from the River Phlegethon, “young?!” He paused sweeping his gaze around the chamber before returning his attention to the one who had made the demand, his tone rising in volume until he was shouting. “You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m almost certain I’m older than anyone in this room! I’ve dealt with more than anyone else here, and I’m not just going to sit idly by, letting you take away our rights, watch you berate us, and have you get a laugh out of the pain my colleagues and I are going through!”

Now it was the Council Leader who addressed him, “as an elder, I’m sure I surpass you in age, wisdom, and most certainly in rank, therefore I do expect an apology from you.”

The darkly-dressed side actually dared to scoff, “oh please! You may out rank me, but with the way you’ve been acting you certainly aren’t as wise as you're acclaimed to be. As for age, I remember when you were appointed!” The words he spoke were truth, but he wasn’t finished yet, “look me up in your databanks, there’s a term for traits like me…and that’s ‘Shadowed Lifer’.” He didn’t miss the gasps that echoed through the auditorium, and the stunned expressions that most of the officials now wore. “This conversation may very well be the reason that I never make it to Elysium, but at least I will know that I sealed my fate by defending my family!” He didn’t mean to, but he screamed the last sentence to anyone who would listen, and in a room as large as the one they were in, his words rang though the air like church bells, “and that is something I will never apologize for!”

In the silence that followed, a force slammed into him, gripping his arm, and the sound of sobs reached his ears. Without a second thought he wrapped his free arm around Morality, drawing him close, “V-Virgil…don’t throw away your chance at Elysium because of us!”

He kept his voice a whisper, making sure no one else could hear him, “and let them treat you the way Deceit did, I don’t think so!”

Moments later the father figure pulled away and released his grip on him, glaring up at the Leader, but what he did next left his gloomy counterpart speechless. “If Virgil will never be allowed to go to Elysium, then I never want to go either!”

“Me neither!” Both Logan and Roman jumped forward, looking at each other in surprise for a moment, as their voices mirrored one another.

Something about the reaction must have taken the Council by surprise as much as it did him seeing as they no longer demanded an apology, and the Council Head spoke in a soft tone as if he had forgotten all about the altercation, “he was telling the truth. You four really would give up anything for each other…even a Shadowed Lifer.”

The creative aspect moved to his side, his shoulders back defensively, “of course! We may have a rocky history, and we may not always see eye-to-eye, but I know for certain that Virgil do anything for us, and we would do the same for him without question!”

“I must agree, if you somehow managed to miss it, Virgil did just call us his family. He’s proven to us repeatedly that he truly means that, and I think I speak for all of us when I say we see him in the same light!” He was taken aback by the emotion in the voice of the second-eldest as he moved to stand next to them.

At the statement some of those who sat above them had varying expressions of shock and for some reason relief, but the woman who appeared to be the second-in-command was the first to speak her mind, “I have never seen a group of facets grow so close to one another. I thought he was joking when he told us that.” Anxiety wondered who they repeatedly referring to, but didn’t have long to think about it over before his attention was demanded again, “he said you all had developed a familial bond…but I didn’t think it would be anything like this.”

She stepped back at a gesture from the Leader, but it was Princey’s voice which rose into the quiet, “I don’t know where you learned all that, but it is true and now you're going to rip our family apart!”

“I can't listen to this, why didn’t you tell them?!” A familiar voice filled with horror and anger echoed from the corridor off to the right of the auditorium was followed by quick footfall. The fight-or-flight reflex couldn’t help the hope that ignited in his heart like a candle as the four of them turned to face the doorway. “You just let them grieve for five months without the slightest hint as to what was really happening?!” The question came to its conclusion, and a sense of joy that the negative character hadn’t felt in millennia coursed through him as the speaker stepped into view.

He almost couldn’t believe his eyes, standing before them, returned to the peak of his health, and looking as he did not too long after starting YouTube was Thomas Sanders. His hair had even taken on the bright shade of purple that had been the influence for his own eccentric wardrobe change. He was broken from his thoughts as Patton stepped away from his side, “Th-Thomas…is it really you?” Despite the tears that rolled down his cheeks, the ethical persona looked happier than he had in months. Their beloved host, the one who had left a mark so close to their hearts now stood only a few feet away smiling at them, his hazel eyes sparkling with the same tears.

Suddenly the online personality looked up to the loft, more specifically the Council Leader, “all this time you left them in the dark, when even me, who was stuck in the Fields of Asphodel for months was told. Did it really never cross your minds, any of you, to tell them what you managed to get to me despite the fact I was literally in a different world?!”

The four sides remained silence, their confused stupor only made more intense by the words that had been said. Meanwhile, the Council Members shifted uncomfortably in their seats until the Leader was forced to respond, “we thought it best not to inform them until we were sure that we had secured your soul from Asphodel. We didn’t want to tell them seeing as we feared that your referrals would not go though before the time of their reassignment.” The way he repeated his first statement with different wording made it sound as if he were trying to convince himself as well as anyone else.

The exasperation that shone in Thomas’s eyes only grew stronger, “and you couldn’t keep them here for a week or two longer because…?” There was more rustling above them, but the traits glanced at one another, trying to process this newest development without speaking. All they were able to do was agree to wait for an explanation, but they all looked back to the YouTuber as he piped up once more. “That’s what I thought, but there is nothing stopping you now, so what are you waiting for?”

Under the watchful gazes of those on the ground floor, the Leader shook his head, “we kept a close eye on the four of you and your host for the entirety of your assignment. When we spoke to you initially upon your return to the Astral Plane, we…made an error; we thought your relations with one another were far weaker than we discovered them to be.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, “when you arrived however, there was a moment in which you helped one another in a way that only a, I hesitate to say it, but only the way a family would. Needless to say, we were a bit astonished by this concept, and after you were dismissed, a vote was taken. ‘Relations Between Aspects’ was the only testing category in which you all fell shy in your scores, but that moment soon after your arrival made us doubt our previous decision. The vote we took was to see if that action would qualify you to pass the one testing category that you had failed, and the outcome greatly exceeded that of the two-thirds requirement.”

Their heads shot up, but Anxiety forced himself to extinguish the flame of hope in his chest, the odds of such an honor being placed upon not only his family, but himself as a Shadowed Lifer was just too farfetched. Morality however, so young and innocent asked the question that he wouldn’t dare, “d-does this mean…?”

The Head of the Council glanced down at them, “despite the altercation from earlier, yes. You four, along with your host have passed in all testing categories.” The observant facet held his breath as he waited to wake from the dream he was in, or to have his heart shattered, but neither happened. “Congratulations, all five of you will be granted the greatest gift, and the highest honor. You will all achieve and enter Elysium this day.”

The next few moments were blurred with elation, joyous tears, hugs, and reunions with someone that were sure that they had lost forever. The negative figment could hardly believe what his senses were telling him, after so much pain, heartache, all four phases of a trait’s life, and so many hosts that he had lost count; he was finally going to Elysium. By far however, the most humbling and wonderful part was that he was going with the four people he cared most about.

When the chaos subsided somewhat, the second-in-command moved to the front, clearing her throat to demand their attention, and for the first time her smile appeared to be genuine. “Thomas, could you step forward please?” He was clearly confused, but after a few nods from the sides, he did as he was asked.

“Thomas, just so you are aware, when aspects return to the Astral Plane, they receive a symbolic mark to remember the host they just lost, and the closer the mark is to the heart, the more the host meant to those who bear it. Furthermore, when a host goes to Elysium, they too are granted the mark,” she waved her hand over the online personality, “and now you have yours.”

Thomas stiffened slightly, clearly battling between the positive emotions he felt, and the information he had just been given, “wh-what is this mark…” He trailed off as if he were afraid to ask the rest of his question, “and how close to the heart is it?” Her eyes glittered with the same happiness that her smile betrayed, and she gestured to the four standing just behind him, who had already pulled their shirts down, revealing the rainbow, YouTube-shaped molecule. Cautiously he turned, and the moment his eyes rested on them, he seemed to be overtaken by joy and humility. “J-Just below the left collarbone…” he paused, wiping his eyes on his sleeve, “I-I mean that much to all of you?”

“Yes!”

“Of course you do kiddo!”

“You were the one who created an environment in which we could come to a better understanding with you and each other.”

Even though he was the last one to state his agreement, Virgil knew exactly what he wanted to say, but waited until the YouTuber had turned to face him. “Thomas…you have no idea what being a facet is like, but I can try and tell you. We are immortal, living out our lives in four phases, moral, creative, logical, and negative, with each being longer than the one before.”

“So…you're the eldest? Hold on, how old are each of you then?”

While their host had questions, he needed to finish what he had to say, “we will tell you with time, but for now, let me explain. I don’t say any of this to ask for sympathy, or to depress you, just for you to understand the influence you have had on us.” Thomas nodded silently, allowing him to continue, “you have been through grief, the loss of your parents, bothers, and husband…grief is hell, but with time, any kind of pain can fade, but how much grief do you think any one person can take?” The online personality stayed quiet, shrugging his shoulders, but Anxiety hadn’t really expected an answer. “I actually didn’t realize it until recently, but anyone is able to handle more and more grief as they gain experience on the matter.” He pulled up the right leg of his jeans to show the faded mark a previous human had left on his ankle, “if the person is close to you, closer than any other before then,” he pulled at the collar of his shirt, “it can hurt as much as the first time you dealt with grief. Now, for a trait, from the moment we turn twenty-one and can be assigned, we don’t just lose one person at a time,” he gestured to Thomas and his own companions, “we lose four. That being said…I am the oldest in this group by far and yet with all of my experience, losing you, and then being plagued with the thought that I would soon be losing Logan, Roman, and Patton as well, it felt like I was experiencing grief for the first time all over again, and the reason for that is simple. In the end, you were the only one to ever acknowledge our existence; you cared for us and helped us when we needed it most…a favor we can never repay. You went out of your way to accept me for who I was, and help the others to do the same. You were the one who noticed our faults and helped us strive to fix them, and be the best we could be, but most of all we have you to thank for what we all have been given today.” The observant side knew that the speech had been extremely articulate for him, and had hit close to hone since he and the others were each in tears by the end of it. Next thing he knew, Thomas had his arms around him, a gesture he would have abhorred in the past, but he had grown close to the online personality. The fight-or-flight reflex didn’t dare to pull away; for fear that everything that had happened was just a dream. Hardly moving at all, he looked over to the others, gently motioning for them to join in the hug, which they did without hesitation. Morality nearly toppled the two as he slammed into them, but the Prince quickly stabilized them with his own embrace, and even Logic allowed himself a moment of emotion as he too drew them close.

As they broke apart, Thomas looked at them sadly, “Virgil, you said something about immortality…I had no idea, and I don’t mean this in a crass way, but how old are each of you?”

The paternal trait smiled sadly, “as the youngest, I guess I’ll start…you're the only host I’ve ever had, so I’m one hundred eighteen years old.”

The YouTuber blinked at him in shock, “so this was genuinely your first experience with grief?”

He nodded gently, “yes, but don’t worry about me too much kiddo,” he glanced to the rest of them, “I have a pretty great support system!”

The fanciful aspect placed his hand on the shoulder of the other, “we weren’t just going to leave you!” He looked over to their host as if he’d only remembered what they were doing, “oh, right, I’m the second-youngest. You were my sixth host, and at six hundred eighty-five, so that puts me at half-way though my creative phase.”

Thomas looked shocked by the number, but remained silent, making the darker character wonder how he would react to his own age, but the intellectual stepped forward, cutting off his thoughts. “I’m the second-eldest, and with you being the seventeenth host that I’ve been assigned to, I’m fifteen hundred thirty-seven.”

The online personality turned to face him, and the others moved to say something, but he stopped them with a slight movement of his hand. “Thomas, I’m what you call a Shadowed Lifer…or I was. To put it bluntly, I don’t remember how many hosts I’ve had; too many to count, but there’s more to it than that. I’m going to guess that you're wondering how I’ve had so many hosts to the point that I can’t recall the number, and yet I have very few symbolic marks.” He took a deep breath to clear his mind, “like I said, pain fades with time…and with no reason to keep grieving those I was certain I would never see again, the marks faded, if they ever appeared at all.” He saw the concern in the eyes of the online personality, “then again, even with the one hundred fifty thousand, nine hundred twenty-seven years of experience, I knew the mark you left would never fade.”

Thomas didn’t seem capable of hiding his surprise, “c-can you repeat that number?”

He chuckled softly, seeing the same expressions on Logan and Roman, “at one hundred fifty thousand, nine hundred twenty-seven, I’m the eldest of the group, and probably in this room at all.”

Everyone but Patton looked at him with a mixture of shock, pain, and understanding, but it was the academic who let his voice rise into the silence, a terrified whisper, “one host…”

As he trailed off, Anxiety turned to face him, confusion pricking at the back of his neck, “what do you mean?”

Logic met his gaze, the glimmer of fear there sending a shiver down his spine, “I-I never said how many hosts I had before I would become a negative facet.” His breathing began to quicken, “one more host, and I had no idea that’s what my thoughts would have been like? What-”

“Specks,” the gloomier persona cut him off, placing a hand on his companion’s shoulder, “First of all, there is no point in worrying about what could have been. Next, your thoughts would not have run that dark…those weren’t the thoughts of a negative trait; they were the ones of a Shadowed Lifer, something you would and will never become. Do you understand?” He nodded, the cloud of horror dissipating from his eyes.

“It is clear that the five of you have much to discuss, but you will have all the time you want to talk soon.” They looked up to the Council Leader, “for now however, you will be escorted to the Gates of Elysium, where you all will be permitted to live for the rest of eternity in peace.”

Thomas had no clue as to how long it had been since he and the sides had entered Elysium, nor did he care, but he did know he had never felt so happy or blissful. At first he had wondered if he could really live for eternity in contentment without the presence of his family and friends, but as it turned out, those he had lost were waiting for him in paradise. The joy he had felt when he’d been reunited with the aspects of his personality was only amplified when he’d finally seen his loved ones again.

Currently the YouTube was heading to his room after staying up late to talk with Joan and Talyn seeing as they had only just gotten to Elysium. Reaching the top of the stairs, he came to a halt looking out one of the windows, outside it was a quiet night as always. The moon sat high in the sky, and the stars were so plentiful they looked like glitter on a midnight blue curtain. As winter had just begun, snow lay untouched and flawless along the branches of the trees and the ground below, save for the soft breeze that disturbed it now and again. The white powder and frost sparkled in the half-light of the celestial bodies above them, and with the washed out colors of nearby holiday decorations.

He took in the serenity of what looked to be a scene out of a Christmas movie while the rest of the world was at rest one last time before moving towards his door, but something stopped him. There was someone else who enjoyed the wintery evenings just as he did, and the former online personality wondered if he might want some company. Changing course, he knocked quietly on the wooden surface that would soon be opened to him, and sure enough, he was answered almost immediately, “come in.”

He slowly opened the door and looked around the room as he stepped inside, it was dark but still undeniably beautiful, at the same time functional and cozy. Even in the shadows, he could make out the picture frames that littered the walls and surfaces, each one bearing a happy memory, but that was really the only difference from the previous version of the area. Eventually his eyes stopped on a bay window at one end of the room where Virgil sat with his knees drawn to his chest, a blanket thrown over top of them, and what looked to be hot tea sitting next to him. A small, black kitten lay around his shoulders, purring softly as her white teeth nibbled at his ear, thankfully when they had entered Elysium, Thomas had lost his allergies, and was finally able to meet Amaya.

“What’s got you up so late?” At the question Anxiety sighed with contentment, his breath momentarily creating a fog on the paned glass.

Thomas felt the same sense of joy he had the first night all of them had been in Elysium, because if there was anyone who benefited most from living in their eternal home, it was the one who sat before him. Over time the darkest facet had opened up about the hell that his life had been for so many thousands of years, and in the end it had proved to be comforting to the one in question. He had become more lively and pleasant, finally in a place where the negativity that had defined him for so long could no longer affect him. Even now his voice reflected that, “I had forgotten how peaceful and calming the early hours can be.” The YouTuber smiled lightly, nights used to be the most horrible for him, but there was no reason for worry any more, not now, not here, “what has you awake?”

Thomas sat down on the edge of the bed as his friend turned to face him, “stayed up talking with Joan and Talyn.” The fight-or-flight reflex smiled softly, a distant look of joy in his eyes, as if he were recalling some sort of memory before his former host continued. “I know how much you love nights like this, and I wondered if you might want some company?”

It was an offer the observant attribute surely would have turned down in the past, but now he simply nodded and shuffled over so that the online personality could take the place across from him. Once he’d settled down, his feet only inches away from Virgil’s, the character in question snapped his fingers, and another blanket fluttered down around his own ankles, protecting him from the cold that seeped through the glass. Seconds later more tea appeared on the table nearby, and Thomas couldn’t think of any situation that would make him feel more at ease as the two of them gazed upon the world beyond the window, wrapped in blankets and the dark of night. By far however, the most wonderful thing was knowing that those they both loved so deeply were safe to the point that the two of them could sit in such a comfortable silence, no longer as trait and host, but as family.

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-----

My Drawing of the Symbolic Mark:

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beatricethecat2 · 6 years

Text

if/then (2.0) - 16

I'm releasing this into the world so I'll stop fiddling with it and I think the gist is there. It's a bit of a rollercoaster with lots of dialog, but more than a few things are revealed, so yay! and finally! There are a few more chapters coming up than I thought, because it's going to take awhile to unravel all of Helena's mysteries. Typos abound, I will fix later. (edited 8/28) Thanks for reading!

Previously: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15

////////////////////

Lowered voices and metallic rumblings nudge Myka from her well-earned sleep, but the high-pitched giggle of a giddy child rouses her for good.

“What are you watching?” Myka asks, hiking herself up to eye level, spying Helena and Christina huddled at the table.

“The finest in feline entertainment,” Helena says, angling her eyes toward Myka. "Sorry to wake you.”

“That’s ok. It’s been…” Myka turns and plucks her phone off the coffee table. “Wow, three hours.”

“You were exhausted.”

“Where's Claudia?”

“Comatose in the bedroom.”

“And the cooking?”

“We’re basting,” Christina answers, not looking up from the screen.

“Soon, there’ll be much more to prepare.”

“I'll help,” Myka says.

“Mom, look!”

Helena glances at the phone then brushes Christina's hair from her face, eyes shifting back when Christina lets out another hardy giggle. Christina leans into her mother, and Helena hugs her close, both chuckling at whatever’s happening on the screen.

The sound’s a reassuring reminder of simpler days, before the weight of the world crushed Myka's resolve. She sinks back into the couch, maybe there's hope for them yet, once Helena comes clean and their feet finally touch the ground.

Their day began early, with Helena rushing off for her bags, then a hurried trip to catch their red-eye to London. They were seated promptly on the plane, but after an announcement of a delay, Helena unclasped her seat belt and abruptly stood. Myka caught her arm and eased her down as the flight attendant scuttled over. She insisted they’d be moving shortly, but Helena fidgeted, overly worried they’d miss Christina and Claudia's arrival at the airport.

Their meet up went smoothly, thankfully, with jubilant hugs all around and they were soon whizzing in a black cab toward London. Claudia curled up in a corner while Christina and Helena cuddled nearby and Myka lounged in the jump seat across from them. As she sank into her seat, the weight of the last month fell off in waves; their next few days should be comparatively easygoing.

Once they hit the inner city, the driver twisted and turned, so much so Myka swore they were going in circles. When the car pulled up to the curb, there was a collective groan; they'd all conformed to their seats and were unwilling to move again. But they tumbled out of the cab and dragged their bags across the pavement, hauling them up a set of stairs and promptly dumping them inside.

“So this is it,” Claudia said. “Chez H.G.”

“This room and the next,” Helena replied, as Claudia poked her head in the bedroom.

“Not bad,” Claudia said, ducking into the kitchen then the bathroom. “Hey look, everything’s where it’s supposed to be.”

“For your convenience,” Helena quipped. “Obviously."

“It’s pretty small," Claudia said.

“It is only me here.”

“I got dibs on a shower.”

“I believe we all desire one.”

“I took one this morning after you…” Myka started, but Helena lowered her brow in caution. “...you went to get breakfast."

“I don’t wanna know,” Claudia said, waving a hand. "But I’ve been on kid duty for forever, so I get first dibs on whatever I want.”

“Claudia’s right,” Myka said.

“Very well,” Helena said. “I’ll begin preparations for the Great American Feast. Who’s with me?”

“Me!” Christina said, raising her hand and jumping up and down.

“And me. As long as I last,” Myka said.

Myka didn't last for long.

Claudia walks in yawning soon after Myka wakes, and as she joins in the preparations, their muscle memory of co-habituating flexes full force. It’s not unlike Helena’s old apartment, their bodies navigating around each other on instinct, but instead of a low coffee table, they’re eating at regulation height.

During dinner, Christina describes every dish's preparation, including where she found the recipe and how many times they’ve made it before.

“Our first foray into brussel sprouts precipitated Christina's front tooth's extraction,” Helena states.

“I thought it was the stuffing,” Claudia says.

“It was the nuts in the green beans!” Christina corrects.

“Almonds,” Helena recollects. “Damn that Martha Stewart."

Christina describes the event jubilantly, and all present agree with her account.

This prompts a flurry of anecdotes detailing previous Thanksgivings, everyone interrupting everyone else with corrections as they go. Myka sits back and listens, completely enthralled, as here's the backstory she’s always craved from them. It’s too bad it’s when she’s at odds with Helena, but she enjoys their tales nonetheless.

Once they're stuffed to the gills with turkey and pie, they crowd on the couch and cue up a movie. Myka nods off after the beginning credits roll and when she wakes, only Claudia remains, sleeping.

Myka finds Helena and Christina asleep, curled up together in Helena’s bedroom. She slides under the covers, gently, and shimmies close—a tight fit, but ultimately manageable—then smiles at the serenity on Helena's face. She reaches out, brushing a lock of hair away from Helena's eye, then skims her hand towards her, across Helena’s cheek and down to trace her jaw.

Helena blinks awake and as she focuses, returns Myka's smile in earnest.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Myka whispers.

“It’s alright. We should talk.”

“Tomorrow. Rest.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yeah, goodnight.” Myka glances at Christina, still blissfully asleep in her mother’s arms, then closes her eyes.

---------------

Helena's phone rings the minute they leave the flat for lunch.

“Go on ahead,” she says, frowning at the screen.

“We can wait,” Myka says, chancing a glance at the caller, but the display reads “unknown."

“This may take a minute. I’ll join you shortly," Helena says, tapping accept and lifting the device to her ear.

“Babezilla, you think?” Claudia says as Helena walks back inside. “I thought she was in the clear."

“Me too," Myka says, looking in Helena’s direction warily. "I guess she’s never really off the clock.”

After the sale, Helena was vague about her involvement closing the deal and hadn't spoken much about the bar or school. But it's odd, her wandering off with Christina physically here, as she’d want to spend every single second possible in her presence. Whoever is calling must be delivering sensitive news, but she’ll suspend her suspicions until later.

When Helena joins them at the cafe, she claims the call wasn't that important, but as the day progresses, Myka doubts that's true. Helena won't look her in the eye and keeps Christina close, making it impossible to ask probing questions. She thought she’d be more forthcoming once Claudia left to meet with friends, but instead, she suggests visiting a row of market stalls. This thrills Christina to no end and they look up recipes while shopping, until Helena’s phone rings again. She instructs them to go on without her, handing Myka her keys and walking off in the direction they came from.

“Is mom ok?” Christina asks, looking as worried as Myka's feeling.

“I think it’s just work. It was hard for her to get time off.”

“Ok,” Christina says, sounding unconvinced. “We need milk to make dessert.”

“There's a store on our way. We’ll stop there,” Myka says. As Helena disappears around a corner, she places a hand on Christina’s shoulder and guides her toward the flat.

Ten minutes after their arrival, the buzzer rings. "Hello again," Helena greets as Myka opens the door. She kisses Myka on the cheek, then strides towards the kitchen with nary a word about the call.

Helena dotes over Christina and it's a heartening sight, but Myka can’t shake the feeling something’s terribly wrong. She’s surprised when Helena suggests they tuck in Christina early. They tell her stories until Christina's eyes droop and close.

“Wine?” Helena suggests as they tiptoe into the living room.

“Yeah, sure,” Myka answers, following Helena into the kitchen.

“Perhaps this economically priced Malbec will suffice for the evening since it’s all that’s left after last night.” Helena sets the bottle on the counter and rifles through a drawer, then opens another and repeats the action. When she consults a third with no result, Myka opens the first and plucks out a wine opener.

“Are you ok?” Myka says, flipping the knife open and sliding the bottle towards her. She scores the wrapping, then peels it off.

“I’ve been better,” Helena says, taking two wine glasses from a cabinet.

“What’s up with all the calls?” Myka asks, screwing the corkscrew in and pushing the lever down.

“Things best discussed while sitting,” Helena answers.

Myka up lifts the cork and when it pops, Helena snatches the bottle out from under it. She pours a generous portion and hands the glass to Myka. "Have a seat, and I’ll join you shortly.”

Myka grimaces as she walks, sitting down means bad news. She circles the couch and sits, looking over her shoulder to check if Helena’s following.

Helena downs an entire glass and pours herself another, then joins Myka, but sits at a distance. She folds her hands over her lap and straightens her spine as if readying for a presentation.

“Thank you for joining us for Thanksgiving. We had a lovely time.”

“It was nice. But that’s not what this is about."

“No.” Helena looks down at her hands, a thumb now scrubbing over her wrist. "We’ve been getting on rather well lately, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah, mostly.”

“If you might recall that moving forward I’d be most appreciative.” Helena stills her thumb and clasps her hands together.

"What’s wrong?”

“I must inform you of something rather unpleasant.”

“Was that Bonnie on the phone?”

“I’m not at liberty to say."

“Is this about the appeal?” Myka scoots closer and places a hand over Helena’s.

“Not precisely. It’s something I’d hoped to avoid entirely, but I’m told there’s no alternative." Helena glances towards the bedroom, then back at Myka. “I apologize for the situation that we’re all about to be placed in."

“You’re scaring me a little,” Myka says, withdrawing her hand.

“I’m scared myself,” Helena says, unclasping her hands and laying them, palms down, on her knees. For a minute it looks like she might stand, but it’s just the way her body's tensing. "I won't mince words, but I do ask you remain civil once I've disclosed this information."

“Civil? This doesn't sound good.”

“It's not,” Helena says, fingers now curled around her knees. “I’m being taken in for questioning for transporting stolen goods over international borders. It’s likely you, and Mrs. Frederic will be questioned as well.”

Myka blinks several times, repeating the phrases in her mind until the depth of Helena's words sink in. “Questioned by who? And when?”

“By the police. As early as tomorrow."

Myka takes a moment to rationalize this. “Is this about the sale?"

“In a sense. Have you any idea what the “under the radar” item you offered was?”

“No."

“Are you certain?”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely certain.”

“Yes. Why?” Only a minute in and Helena’s already testing her patience.

“You must be unwavering in answer when questioned."

“I don’t know. You said you didn’t either.” A familiar anger wells up in Myka's chest. "I’m guessing that was a lie."

“I delivered it, for Mrs. Frederic.”

“To who? MacPherson?”

Helena’s eyes narrow, reading as if that wasn't the question she was expecting. “No. To Bonnie.”

“So the police think you stole it?”

“It was stolen goods in the first place. I was merely transporting it across borders.”

“You’re saying Mrs. Frederic stole it?”

“I have no knowledge of its acquisition. I was simply the courier in this situation."

Helena’s bláze tone works on Myka’s nerves but going off on her now will only make matters worse. If she’s honest, many of Mrs. Frederic's deals have questionable origins, though she does make an effort to reunite items with their owners. And her original offer, the Faberge egg, was technically stolen goods, but stolen a hundred years ago, which made it seem a non-issue.

The secrecy around this new item must mean it's very, very hot. Helena and Bonnie obviously knew that and pushed Mrs. Frederic to release it. But to get caught during delivery seems out of character for both of them. There must be a logic driving the decision.

“You’re framing Mrs. Frederic. You got caught on purpose,” Myka says, as it all comes into focus.

“Why would I do that? I’m already on probation. Do you think I never want to reunite with my child?”

“That’s not what I—"

“That bloody Sally blew the whistle. Bonnie was whispering in her ear for months. The police are gathering planted evidence as we speak."

“So Bonnie does work for MacPherson,” Myka mumbles, mostly to herself.

“Not that I’m aware of."

“That’s who was on the phone at the sale every time you left the room."

"How exactly would he call without raising suspicions? He's in jail."

“I don’t know. But ruining Mrs. Frederic’s reputation would be a priority for him.”

“Why would I, of all people, agree to help him?"

“Maybe it's your way out, permanently."

"I was out. This is on Emily. And there are numerous others invested in taking Mrs. Frederic down."

"Ok, say I believe you. Why are Emily and Bonnie railroading Mrs. Frederic?”

“Emily was delivering goods as contracted. Bonnie planned this escapade down to the minute. Apparently, my 'slip up of disastrous proportions’ was only to be executed as a desperate measure.”

“A-ha! So you did know. And you are framing Mrs. Frederic.”

“Keep your voice down,” Helena scolds and glances towards the bedroom.

"I know Bonnie's a cop. Or she used to be. And I know you've known her since undergrad,” Myka continues, undeterred.

Helena flinches back. "Where are you getting this?"

"You dated. She left you. You were crushed. And now you're working with her and probably sleeping with her, too.”

“I most certainly am not.”

“Do you want to be?” Myka’s hands ball into fists, it’s exhilarating to have thrown that jab. She wants to hit something, something Helena sized, and she just might, depending on the answer.

“Do you hear yourself? You’re utterly delusional."

“How would I know? You’ve spent more time with her than me."

“I understand you’re upset, but this is—”

“What do you want from me? Really, truly want?"

“I want this to be over so we can move forward as a family.”

“Ha! Right. With you in jail?”

“It wouldn't be for long."

"How could you know?"

"I've information to barter my freedom.”

“And if that doesn’t work and you’re sent away anyway? You’re just stringing me along to look after your kid.”

“You’ve never been obligated. Claudia can—"

A muffled whimper cuts Helena short. She flies off the couch towards the source and scoops Christina into her arms.

Myka remains on the couch as they disappear into the bedroom, sick to her stomach that Helena used her for personal gain. She didn't deny knowing Bonnie previously and she deny sleeping with her. Now that all of her worst fears have been confirmed, Helena's flat feels too small. There’s no way she can stay here tonight, she has to get out as soon as possible.

She strides into the bedroom to gather her things but is stopped short by Christina sobbing in Helena's arms.

“Myka hates me,” Christina blurts.

“She doesn’t hate you, love. Do you, Myka.”

“Of course I don’t,” Myka grunts, avoiding Helena's glower by grabbing her suitcase. “Your mom and I are having…issues, but I still love you.”

“But you said…you said that...that you didn’t want to take care of me anymore,” Christina manages, through sobs.

“I didn’t mean that.”

“Yes, you did. You never stay at Aunt Claudia’s.”

“I’ve been busy."

“What are you doing?” Helena asks.

“I'm leaving. I need to be anywhere but here.” Myka jams a pair of shorts into her suitcase and Christina sobs harder. “Just for tonight,” Myka amends, with a slightly less bite.

“She’ll be back,” Helena says, combing her fingers through Christina’s hair.

Myka grabs a smaller bag, one that will do for overnight, and transfers clothes into it.

“I don't want mom to go to jail.”

“That wasn’t meant for your ears,” Helena says.

“Knowing you, you will,” Myka grumbles at Helena.

Christina gasps and burrows her face into Helena’s chest. Helena shoots Myka a deathly glare.

“I-I need some things from the bathroom.”

Myka hurries out of the room, that was cruel but Helena pushed her, plus it's too late to take it back now. She shoves toiletries into her bag then pats her pockets, but doesn't find her phone. It must be in the living room, so she treads out to find it, but is dragged back in by the arm.

“Ow, you're hurting me!” Myka yelps as Helena herds her in. She tugs her arm free as Helena pushes the door closed.

“You must listen closely and do as I say, for I will not have you put away in my place.”

“Me, go to jail? I haven't done anything wrong!"

“That you’re aware of.”

“What did you do?”

“Not me. Mrs. Frederic.”

Myka scoffs. “Mrs. Frederic, right.”

“This is not a bluff.”

“It’s hard to tell with you.”

Helena’s eyes tighten; it’s clear she's in no mood for bickering.

“Fine. Go on."

“Before I continue, I must emphasize, you mustn’t mention your ‘theories' when questioned."

“What ‘theories'?"

“Bonnie working for the authorities and us colluding against Mrs. Frederic. Neither were 'in the heat of the moment' guesses, I presume.”

“No. But you said I was ‘delusional' and brushed me off.”

“What are you basing them on, exactly?”

“I don’t have to tell you.” Myka throws her nose into the air and crosses her arms over her chest.

“But you shall, after the state you’ve left my daughter in.”

Myka drops her arms. “Is she ok?”

“As well as to be expected after being shunned by someone she loves.”

“I was mad at you, not her.”

“Then take it out on me, not in front of her.”

"Oh, I will.” Helena's scolding gets Myka's ire up again.

“These ’theories’ of yours. What are they based on?"

“Stuff Claudia dug up on the internet."

“You’ve involved Claudia!” Helena blurts.

"I couldn't follow you blindly! I had to find out for myself."

"Does she know—"

"About you being at the sale? No."

"And this information, is any of it on your computer?"

“Yes. Why?"

"Wipe it immediately. All traces. Everything. And when you're interviewed, do not mention Claudia's involvement.”

“Why should I help you?”

“It’s in all our best interests you heed my advice.”

“Seriously, why? I don’t see how ‘heeding your advice’ helps anyone but you.” Myka glares at Helena until her muscles begin to quiver, the urge to punch her rising again. “I gotta go,” she says, moving towards the door, but Helena steps in front of her. She tries to push Helena aside, but Helena grabs her wrist and shoves her back in.

“I’ll explain," Helena says. "But I shouldn't."

Myka yanks her wrist free.

“You mustn't repeat a word I say. Not to Claudia nor Christina, Abigail or Amanda. You're absolutely in the dark; otherwise, we’re all sunk.”

“Got it. Act dumb.”

“Act pained. Dumbfounded. Betrayed. Everything you’ve been feeling this evening times ten. The drama must ring true."

“Fine," Myka says and waits for Helena to continue, but instead, Helena looks over at the tub. She perches on its edge and looks down at the floor, dragging a hand through her hair, holding it back.

“Helena, tell me."

Helena releases her locks slowly, letting them cascade in sheets until her face is entirely obscured by a black curtain. "It's you that's being railroaded. By Mrs. Frederic."

“What?” Myka barely heard a word Helena said. She sits on the tub and angles her head for better access.

“Your trajectory was ideal: an eager young recruit, overstepping her bounds for professional gain. I was told it was the least harmful option to produce the desired result."

"I don't understand."

“The delay at Customs. Mrs. Frederic's intervention. All pre-planned events. The item in question was hidden in your crates.” Helena turns toward Myka. "It was you that was meant to be caught redhanded, but Bonnie and I threw a wrench into the works.”

Myka stands and backs away. This is surely another tale Helena's spinning.

“I understand how ludicrous this sounds, but it's the truth."

"Why should I believe you?"

“Because we’re all pawns in this volatile game of chess. Your sacrifice was meant to push MacPherson into a compromising position. His influence extends well beyond antiquities, into dark dealings too gruesome to mention. I can’t even begin to explain how important this transaction is and how horrified I was to hear you were anywhere near it. I did everything in my power to force Mrs. Frederic’s hand. I thought I’d succeeded until you turned up in Germany.”

“You got me dropped from the sale?"

"Yes."

Myka takes a moment to process this. "How long have you known?"

“Since my first meeting with Mrs. Frederic. I’d learned then you’d been earmarked earlier. And that Theodora and Vanessa were also involved."

"Theodora and Vanessa?” Myka wobbles and grabs hold of the sink counter. That’s why she was given the antiquities job, not because she was worthy. "Vanessa wouldn't do that."

"Vanessa had little choice. She was strong-armed by Mrs. Frederic. Theodora wavered but was...coerced."

“Coerced? How?”

“I’m not privy to the details. But she was rather suddenly on board.”

"Why me?"

“Mrs. Frederic believed, were you to be sentenced at all, the court would be lenient for a first offense. I argued the opposite, that they’d use you to set an example, especially with such a high profile case. Therefore, I was ordered to stay out of it entirely, which I entirely did not do. I instead contacted Vanessa and Theodora to form a plan."

“What did they say?"

“That Mrs. Frederic’s no longer behaving rationally. She’d do anything to keep MacPherson behind bars, even ruin careers were it to further her agenda. They agreed she needed to be stopped, but they hadn’t a clue how.”

Myka flashes back to Italy, to the meal she had with Theodora. She'd said Mrs. Frederic would push her until she broke and warned she should push back before that happened. "Family's what’s left when everything else falls flat,” Theodora had said. Was she referencing this moment then?

“So this has nothing to do with Emily. This is all about me.”

“Unfortunately, yes. Upon arrival in London, I, and Emily were genuinely free of Macpherson’s affairs. In fact, my involvement was never meant to go this far."

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“The less you knew, the better."

Helena's standard answer, but an answer that now makes sense. Myka stares at her, heart racing, blood pounding, she doesn’t know what to say. Her whole world’s just been turned upside-down, and for once, Helena’s given her real answers.

“I’m doing this for us. For our future. I’m in a much better position to bargain than you. And who better to care for my daughter were I locked away?”

Helena’s quip is meant to be playful, but her tender tone hits Myka in the gut. “I’m sorry. So sorry. For everything.” She moves across the room and resumes her spot on the tub. “I should apologize to Christina."

“Please do. But maintain the illusion we're fighting."

“I’ll do whatever you say,” Myka says, reaching across Helena's lap and taking hold of her hand.

“Your instincts are correct. Stay in a hotel. Don't tell me where. And come tomorrow, this conversation never happened. You’re very, very angry with me once it all unfolds."

"I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. You didn't deserve—"

"You had good reason.” Helena flips Myka's hand over and laces their fingers together. "Now, go apologize to my daughter, then storm off in a huff."

Myka scoots closer. "I have no idea what's going on and that scares me. But I trust you. I really do."

"You have no idea how much that means to me.” Helena brings Myka’s hand up to her lips and kisses its back.

“Hey, you guys in there? Cos I really, reeeeally gotta pee. These Brits, man, they guzzle booze like there’s no tomorrow,” Claudia says.

Helena closes her eyes and breathes a deep breath. “Can this evening get any worse?"

“Don’t tempt it,” Myka says, squeezing Helena’s hand.

-TBC-

#BERING AND WELLS #w13 #fanfiction #if/then #Myka Bering #Helena HG Wells #if you're reading this and know the story #please let me know if I've not explained what's going on clearly #there are huge gaps that will be filled in coming up #but this should at least move the story forward #in a way that makes sense #thank you!

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adoringdo · 7 years

Text

EXO Theory Pt.7 - We Got That Power!

This is now so late up, and it’s because I’ve had so many different things going wrong, mainly my laptop being a piece of crap, but I finally wrote this out and I really hope this doesn’t crash again haha. Also I actually just kept changing my mind about what I thought, and that was pretty annoying so I kept putting this off. Anyway, let’s explore EXO’s new MV, Power, shall we?

<<– First Part | <- Previous Part | * Theory Masterpost

Sequence of Events

MAMA/History/What Is Love - Miracles in December - Romantic Universe - KoKoBop - MAMA 2016 VCR - (Parallel Universe) - Lucky One - Overdose - Love Me Right - Wolf/Growl - Lotto - Coming Over - Pathcodes/Call Me Baby - Monster - Sing For You - For Life - Parallel Universe - RF_05 - Power - The Eclipse - MAMA 2016 Performance

Every time I’ve written this post up I’ve started from the beginning of the MV’s narration, but, as I’m getting quite bored of this, I’m going to now start at the end, with the clip of Baekhyun in the water.

As well as being ridiculously pretty, Baekhyun is pretty important to my theory of the EXO story, as well as obviously in this music video. The ending where he parachutes to ‘Earth’? and is in the water as he is here, is interesting, mostly because (as I’m sure we’re all aware) links nicely to the EXO graphic novel that was included with the album.

I don’t have the album (sadly I’m poor) and I wouldn’t be able to buy as many albums as necessary to complete the novel anyway, but some people are nice enough to scan in online so I’ve read it from here (x) and come to some lovely conclusions haha.

So at the beginning of this comic we see a flash-forward it would seem of Baek falling just as in the MV and saying ‘It could have been wrong from the beginning. I guess it went to my head.’ which is telling us that something’s gone wrong, and it seems to have been Baekhyun’s fault, something made him too egotistical or sure of himself? Well this doesn’t line up very well with what we see of him in the music video - he saves the day almost, right? Well maybe not. Hehe, I’ll come back to this later on.

Throughout the comic we see the members (only 8 sadly, I really don’t see why they couldn’t have added Lay to the comic at least?!) working together to infiltrate some trucks? I’m gonna be honest, I am quite confused about parts of this comic But they’re working together, D.O and Baek at the helm of the operation, with the other members seemingly carrying out tasks that they’re told to do (or so they should be, doesn’t seem like anyone really listens.. which isn’t surprising)!

Now as I’m sure you’re aware, the members in the comic book are seen wearing the same clothes as in their Pathcode teasers.

Originally I put the Power MV right after the Pathcodes, but as I kept writing this out it made less and less sense to me, so I moved it to where I had originally intended to put it, just before the Eclipse. The events in the comic, where it is flashbacking, is clearly set within the Pathcode era and so the question becomes how do they get together and what is it they’re exactly doing here?

Well, in the Pathcodes we see all the members separated and getting signs throughout about something ominous happening. I spoke about this I think in the last part? And in Baekhyun’s especially there’s the moment when he removes an earphone and hears someone say the words ‘Someone’s looking for you’. I just went through all my posts and I actually have never spoken about Baek’s Pathcode properly I don’t think? That’s crazy. Anyway, I love Baek’s Pathcode, it’s the most interesting (other than Soo’s maybe) imo. So in his Pathcode, he hears this creepy voice. There are a few possibilities as to who’s talking to him. Remember, in my theory Pathcodes are a bit complicated because the members think they’ve escaped, but they realise towards the end that they haven’t.

They realise this because of Kyungsoo. (Forgive me if I have gone over this before, but I can’t really remember and I tried skimming my posts and couldn’t see anything that really went over this part of my theory!) In many of the Pathcodes, the members see an image, an allusion, to light disappearing and they get scared. We see it in Tao’s, Sehun’s, Chen’s, Chanyeol’s, Kai’s and Lay’s. And in Xiumin’s we see him get a message in the TV Screen by an image that looks like a wolf:

I think I wrote about this in Part 6? that I think Soo really worries about the Wolf part of the story because he got betrayed and hurt in it my another Guardian (Luhan).

So the wolf image that I think D.O is sending Xiu here is significant, as it’s a symbol of betrayal with him, and is signalling back to a time when the members were truly divided.

I wasn’t sure whether to include this here, but I might do so. Back when I started writing these theories and was trying to figure out the initial order of the MVs (back when Monster and Lucky One had just come out), the Wolf MV was really frustrating to me. Obviously the actual video is kind of not important, but the movie thing that came with it (and Growl) kind of had a story. Part of it is just a cheap Twilight rip off, I get that, but I thought there had to me more because it otherwise didn’t make sense. So I started researching wolves generally: their symbology, their associations in dreams, the mythology around them, and I came across the fire wolves/dogs (Bulgae) in Korean mythology. They sounded really cool and they had this description regarding eclipses:

Now this is kind of a common theme in many cultures around the world, like the Vikings, but it’s kind of interesting that Wolf could also be linked to an eclipse, the most symbolic thing in EXO’s mythology now. You know, it could just be coincidence, but I dunno.

Anyway, so the message Xiumin receives could also be alluding to the eclipse as well as having a deeper meaning (which is possible as XiuSoo have a strong connection imo!)

Suho doesn’t get a warning lol because he’s too trapped, he just gets trapped by his own power. Baekhyun gets the voice, that is probably Soo, but then he reacts by also making it darker.

And ends up getting trapped also.

So now the question really becomes how do the Pathcodes relate to the comic? Do the contents of Pathcode come after or before that in the comic flashback? Well one way i think to really know is through Kyungsoo himself, who unlike the other members, gets three changes of clothes in his PC teaser.

Firstly he gets the blue and black jumper.

This is the first one we see I think, as it’s the one I believe he’s wearing when we see him awake at the very beginning of the teaser.

Then we have the black suit when he’s in the car.

This is the one that corresponds to the change of time from 09.00 to 09.01 in Colorado, which is important as it’s the same time (when accounting for time zone differences) as the first member’s teaser, Kai.

And then thirdly, we have the outfit Soo is wearing in the new graphic novel pages, and the one he was wearing when he looked through the looking glass (hello, Alice) and sees the other members Pathcodes!

I used to think that these were taking place over different days, but after the Power MV and the Parallel Universes teaser, as well as this idea from kaizzi, I started to think that maybe these are three different versions of Kyungsoo. And this makes so much more sense, and honestly has rejuvenated a lot of my faith in this theory that I briefly doubted when I saw Power and the comic tbh. So, firstly I want to talk about this Red-Shirt-Kyungsoo™ universe.

In the comic book we see Baekhyun say ‘Or maybe // Something has been wrong from the beginning’. This could be applicable to either the Pathcodes or the end of Power, or even both. I mean, at this point, the timeline’s so messed up by the revelation of these Parallel Universes, not to mention that two of the powers, Tao’s and Kai’s, involved bending time and space, that is anything even linear in this story anymore? God knows, and so I sure don’t! But, personally, I took it to be referring to the Pathcodes as the beginning, because I do believe they mark the ‘beginning’ of a new sequence; ‘The Betrayal’.

I think the Pathcode teasers come after the events we have yet to see in this graphic novel series. It said ‘To be continued’ so hopefully we’ll see more of this story with the members tracking down these trucks or whatever and potentially see exactly what Baekhyun is referring to when he says ‘it went to [his] head’. And so when Kyungsoo is looking through this door, I don’t think he’s seeing a parallel universe, he’s seeing the one that Red-Shirt-Kyungsoo™ is actually in, and is communicating with the members to be wary of Baekhyun, and warning them they’re still in the Dream. (Yes, I do think it’s still a dream state, even with the Parallel Universes... we can have both things happening simultaneously, I really do think so!). And so that’s basically my theory for Red-Shirt-Kyungsoo™ world.

Next I’ll speak more about Suited-and-Booted-Kyungsoo™ and the theory with Kai!

I think I’ve spoken endlessly about the significance of cars, and how who’s driving them is important, so I won’t go into it again. But the fact that this is taking place (imo) at the exact time as Kai’s Pathcode is the more important fact here.

At the end of Kai’s Pathcode we see him teleport away. This is the first time since MAMA in my sequence of events that Kai uses teleportation, his power. Now, the reason I think this is super significant, I went over in detail in my MAMA 2016 part (x) but basically Kai has been hiding his real power from the Red Forces since the beginning because this ability is the key to travelling between the worlds/planes and capturing the Heart of the Tree of Life. There are two MVs in particular that really highlight this avoidance. KoKoBop and Lucky One.

I’ve spoken about Lucky One before, but basically the only power we don’t see evidenced is Kai’s. Instead, he has a lil’ dance.

Very nice.

And then in KoKoBop, we still don’t see Kai use his power. I know this might be a little controversial but hear me out.

I think in KoKoBop we see Kai using some ex-member powers.

Like, since when is Kai’s ability levitation? It’s not. This is closer linked to Kris’ power imo.

And this may be a little out there, but I kind of always thought the car moving by itself was similar to Luhan’s power, telekinesis. At least, it’s nothing to do with teleportation.

KKB is set right after Romantic Universe in my theory, and at the end of RomUni we see Kai driving the car that had previously been squashed. Now I took this to kind of mean Kai taking some control and choosing to hide his power, or sacrifice it, even. So in KKB I think he’s being kind of cheeky by referencing a number of powers that aren’t his, especially by reading the ‘Space Movement’ book that’s pictured above - that can be linked to his power, yes, but also to the movement between universes/worlds, and to a lesser extent Tao’s power which would also be connected to space-time travel.

(Also, small sidenote, but I also see no real evidence for Sehun using his powers in this MV, and I think the link to Chen’s is very tedious. I don’t really have reasons for this, but I think it’s kind of weird. Especially as Sehun and Chen later become counterparts. But I don’t want to really delve into any of this right now just pointing it out as I never got around to properly finishing my KKB theories!)

So yeah, Kai using teleportation in Pathcode is kind of a big deal. And what triggers it is even more important. Right before he teleports he gets this flashback to Overdose:

We see here, a glimpse of himself at the edge of the maze, Tao looking at his own reflection, D.O getting the box of sand, then the sand falling upwards (in reverse) and Chen witnessing light dimming.

Light dimming. Yep, I’m going there. This is a very specific set of images. It’s showing they’re still trapped, that time isn’t moving how they think, they might be in a different world (reflection world) and D.O receiving the box. As well as the light going out which I’m sure I’ve mentioned more than enough what I think that means. So, pretty deep. And then he teleports. But where to? To the one who sent him the image.

And this is why Kai’s power’s so important, because he can travel between worlds. And he travels here to meet Soo in a different plane, but the same time, because Kai can’t really control time, right, that’s Tao’s power.

And now the most interesting of Soo’s outfits imo, the Blue-Stripe-Turtlenecks-Why-Is-Soo-Always-In-A-Turtleneck-OMG-I-Hate-Them™ one. So this is the one we see (I think at least, I’m gonna say so) him waking up in.

Why is this so significant? Because I kind of think that in this parallel plane Kyungsoo is actually waking up here. He’s escaping the dream. At least the Red Forces dream, and that’s why he’s able to finally open his mind.

And we immediately see him surrounded by nature, greenery and trees, and we get this image in a sequence shortly after.

Which is showing half a dried up tree. In this Blue-Stripe-Soo™ outfit I think we see one version of Kyungsoo escape and start to think about the half of the Tree he’s meant to be guarding. And I think it’s here that he might fully realise that it’s Baekhyun. Before this moment we have a few instance of Soo paying attention to Baek because he might not trust him, and he probably had an inkling. But D.O’s not impervious to the RF even if he has more power than the others in resisting that kind of stuff, he couldn’t think about it clearly until now. This is what I think. And then he decides to take action.

Here we see a representation of Soo’s meddling. I used to think the 3 marbles in his hand were him, Kai and Xiu, and I kind of still think that. But another part of me is thinking it might be a bit different.

So, the yellow I think could be the planets aligning, and the red the two worlds that they originally landed on (the two that look alike and have the same ground... you know the narration by now). The green in Soo’s hand, are the three Kyungsoo’s we meet in this teaser. Blue, Red and Suit, who are now directly affecting the situations. I mean, they kind of have been, but up until this point I think it’s always been that Kyungsoo has been just observing. Now meeting Kai, being in command (kind of) in the comic, and actually escaping in one of the realities, this is direct action. This is important.

I mean this is a theory I literally just thought of, but it’s pretty neat imo.

But let’s go back to the comic now. Baek says ‘it went to my head’. I think this is referring to him knowing that he is the Heart. I think it’s pretty clear in the Power MV that he knows his power is now important. I mean, we get this fucking wonderful clip that made me pretty much die.

Like, sorry, but I called this haha. Bitch he’s the sun, ahaha.

Anyway, no, but he is important as hell! And he knows this. But when does he realise? Some time after Pathcode, what he considers the ‘beginning’, as that’s where Baekhyun flashbacks to.

I’m not sure where to really begin theorising with this information, but there are two things I’m sure of when Baek’s referring to himself messing up. Firstly, I think the message (the voice) he gets in his PC teaser is so vague compared to a lot of the others, and so much more spookier, that I’m sure it’s even more important. Like, ‘someone’s looking for you’ could be the RF or it could be his members. He doesn’t know, I don’t know, nobody does. Sure, he acts scared after this fact, but maybe that was even a mistake, maybe him letting the little light flecks surround him at the end was a mistake. I dunno.

The other thing I’m sure of is that it’s connected to him finding out he’s the Heart. I’m now so convinced of this theory, everything that is released honestly strengthens this so much it can’t not be true at this point. So it has to have something to do with this MV and this ending. It’s too significant that Baek hides his power (with EXO-L aww) and can release the others. And that he falls to the water at the end.

Going back to that, I kind of love this ending because it’s so vague almost. I think I have a theory about this, I won’t go into it in too much detail because it’s kind of out there. But it’s linked to the dream state. Yes, I think they’re still in it during Power, and in fact when Baek falls at the end I think it’s him falling to a deeper kind of level of the dream (think Inception), This is all I really have so far without going into a billion MVs and I wanna talk some more about the meat of the Power MV.

For the most part, this MV is self explanatory. But there’s some interesting parts. I’ll be going backwards though because I’m liking this.

Right before the Baek falling bit, we have this amazing (!!!!!) sequence.

(This gif takes all justice away from the clip TT)

Obviously this is just so awesome. I’m a really big fan of EXO’s Powers and it’s just so cool to look at. I even really like that Chen’s lightning is orange for some reason? Hehe, but it’s just so cool. But the importance is with Chanyeol here, I think, because as you can see in the gif he’s at the front of the group for this part. For some reason, I’m really stuck on this idea even though I think it’s kind of unlikely. But I kind of think this is linked to the beginning of the MV:

Yeah, I think the end of the MV is them blowing up the door at the beginning. I know this sounds crazy, but I just don’t think it’s that crazy. For mainly this reason.

The little light on the end of this thingy is red here.

But in the next scene it’s orange.

Chanyeol has a red eye for some reason in this MV? I think the first arm thing with the red light is Chanyeol. I really don’t know. But I’m so stuck on this idea. Like why else would he just have a red eye in the video? And it wouldn’t be the first time that an EXO MV has finished as it started:

At the start of RomUni we see the car get crushed, and at the end it gets uncrushed.

In Sing For You we see members disappear at the start, and reappear at the end.

Overdose begins and ends with Kai (or Lu) within a maze, never able to get out.

I mean, come on, it’s not too much of a stretch, right?

But that’s what I think, that the members might even be stuck in a loop of fighting the RF, and even getting their powers back. A theme of the MV in my opnion was the members and the RF restarting over and over again until they ‘won’. Especially during the part (I can’t gif it it’s too long) when the members keep adding one by one to shoot at the robot, before Chen like saves the day pretty much.

Speaking of Chen, what a bamf in this MV. By far my fave in here. I don’t really get it, but boy, he really does have that power.

Another person I wanna talk about is Sehun. I feel like out of everyone Sehun is the one I have the least ideas about when it comes to this story. I’m not entirely sure what his role is, ever tbh, but he kind of did some stuff here. Mainly, shooting at D.O.

He’s also on a walkie talkie of some kind so I wonder who he’s talking to. But I think this is important because, like I mentioned in part 6 (x), this is the only real time that we are seeing Soo vulnerable. And it’s not just once. It’s twice we see him fall scared like this, and he also has that scratch on his face (that switches sides sometimes haha). This is just so unlike how he is in the rest of the story.

But then we also see him leading an attack on the RF robot.

Like I dunno. Soo confuses me in this MV.

Because there’s also these two things:

We see Soo and Sehun’s orbs highfiving? And we also see the EXO-L kittie playing with Soo and Chanyeol’s orbs?

Sehun who (probably accidentally I will admit) fires at another member, and Chanyeol who has a red eye, reminiscent of the RF and also Kris/Lu in the Wolf Drama vid. And Soo who’s out of character for the most part. I’m half convinced this whole MV is a simulation of sorts, much like KoKoBop. This is the simulation of the First War on EXO Planet, and the Red Forces keep losing, so they keep restarting. By this point in the story I think all the members are kind of aware what’s going on with them being trapped, and the war ongoing, so I think they’re just messing around. Acting different than they usually would to kind of purposefully mess up the sim. If the RF can’t predict how they’re going to act, the RF can’t win.

Except that at the end, Baek leaves them. Hmm...

But let’s finish where we started cos I think that’s all I really have to say about the actual MV (other than I really like it, and the song, but the stage is soooo good it might be my fav title after LMR now!). Let’s go back to Baek.

I’m very excited to read more of the comic, I think that holds so much potential story that could be explained better than in the MVs! And I want to know what happens next. The possibilities are just endless. I’m not sure I have my theories right, you know, but it’s just so fun to ponder and make little connections and try and link it altogether. I’m also really hopeful that Lay will return to the story. I know I haven’t really spoken about him, but I’m still kind of convinced he’s gone to a different world (I wrote about this here (x)), and that’s why he’s absent here. He’s too vital to keep missing out of the story!

Anyway, this got soo long, I spent the whole day pretty much writing this and getting kind of confused. Thanks to everyone who sent such lovely messages asking to read this and motivating me to write it! And thanks for reading this far if you did, it’s nice to know I’m not just babbling to myself haha! Bye for now though! ^^

-> Next Part

#EXO #EXO Theory #Baekhyun #D.O #Baeksoo Theory #Kpop #EXO Text #Long Post #MyGif

123 notes · View notes

the1997oppa · 7 years

Text

Remember Me?

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Warning(s): 3 tbs of Cliche ahead Genre: Romance, Fluff

The rain pelted against my window pane. I remember playing outside with Taehyung back when we were still adorable, young and naive. But now, we're just plane naive with a bit of dumbness added altogether. Earlier this morning, I thought today would be the day I'll leave a mark on this planet, with cloudy skies and sun rays skimming through, it was ideal. Then Taehyung happened. His phone call happened. The so called blind date that is about to happen added to the list. I mean, who sets up your own friend with your other friend just because you can? I tried my best to persuade him that it would be a bad idea since he knew how socially awkward I become around people. Heck, I even offered to make a PowerPoint presentation as to how his idea sounded like the dumbest essay paper you'd come across with. But he just laughed over the phone saying how silly I was. That twat. I am very much fine playing my role as the single fart in here but that alien of a friend of mine begged to differ.

My previous date had taught me well and left me traumatized for the rest of my life, not in a bad way but more in a hilariously epic one. I remember it as if it was yesterday.

"Don't worry he's a sweetheart. " Taehyung promised as he dragged my pastel-clad figure into a world of unknown which we prefer to call the homecoming dance. I was wearing a soft baby pink dress, like a unicorn just barfed on me. I was nervous and hopeful all at the same time. Taehyung hadn't mention a name but I didn't bother to ask either so when I was placed in front a lanky dude, I nervously searched for any sign of amusement in Taehyung's eyes followed by his boisterous laugh saying this was all just a joke, but unfortunately, there was none. I once again faced the noodle dude in front of me. Braces, check. Thick rimmed glasses, check. Horrible fashion sense, I'd give him an A plus for that. Don’t get me wrong though. I’m just not used to being the one in advantage when meeting strangers since I’m usually the awkward one.

I thought that that was the worst thing that could happen but apparently, as the night gets older, the more my unnamed date seems to be fidgety and awkward. At first, I tried to talk to him nicely. We danced for a bit even though he just kept on stepping on my toes, isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Despite that, we continued dancing anyway but things went downhill when I suddenly found myself tripping over our feet as I fall and knocked over a waiter who successfully poured the mocktails over my head in accident, if you thought that's the worst then you're terrible wrong. After a few attempts of getting up and coming back to my senses, everyone around me seems to find something funny as they point fingers in my direction. Anxiously looking down, I found my self sitting over some sort of liquid that is definitely not a mocktail with my date puking his guts out.... Oh.

So that brings us back to the present. Where I'm currently watching the rain from inside my room praying to all Gods alive that a rainstorm occurs so I can Netflix my way out of the blind date. I mean my efforts of dressing up will be gone to waste but I really don't care since I didn't even bother smudging a bit of a BB cream onto my face. Deal with it whoever this as equally as stupid blind date was supposed to be. As I continued to mentally think of ways and excuses, the doorbell echoed throughout the house sounding very much like an audio from a horror movie. I am doomed. I know it.

I just do.

"Hey you! You... " I greeted even though my eyes were focused solely on the device on my hand which happened to be my phone.

"Uh yeah, hi. " A smooth nasally voice replied. Is the news paper boy late or a little bit early? 8 hours early to be exact.

"Oh hi. Are you here with tomorrow's newspaper or are you lost or maybe a new neighbor or something because I really can't entertain any guest right now because I'm supposedly going in a date with someone in just about now... Oh." I paused as realization hit me like a bullet train, extra impact and damage, people.

"You must be jongkuk." I mumbled, a little bit hesitant. I regret not listening to Taehyung about who this other person was earlier. Now here I am contemplating and pondering about a couple of names that sound like Jong and Cook.

"Actually... It's Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook." He smiled adorably.

Wait what?

"Hey, uh yeah Jungkook. I'm Sera and I bet you didn't want to get stuck in this date neither right? Especially with a boring nerdy plain Jane who reeks of cheetos and other things. How about we call this quits and proceed on our own ways? Let's just tell Taehyung we were chased by the neighborhood dogs and decided that today is just not our day. How about that? Sounds good yeah?" I'm just hoping that my persuasiveness works just this once on this boy. I really don't wanna get wet neither do I want to go out and waste such a rainy comfy day.

"I was hoping we could go and see a movie. " The guy mumbled while he fiddles with his umbrella. My shoulders sagged but I immediately composed myself once again then looked at him. For a moment I contemplated. Well, he made an effort to dress up nicely and not to mention he was here holding his polka dot printed umbrella. I guess I'd be considerate and nice this time since I'm also already dressed up albeit a little too casual for a date.

"Alright. Just lemme get my bag then we're good to go." I responded then went to fetch my belongings. As I reach for my coat, my black umbrella calls out my eyes. Seriously I'm even manlier than my date. Just where did Taehyung got this manchild of a friend? Not judging.

I smiled at Jungkook after locking my door. I thought we were going to trudge our way to the mall. But when we reached the neighborhood park, he tells me to wait for a bit. I pouted as I watched the raindrops ruin my boots. I mean, I love the rain but I hate being in the middle of it. A moment passed then a motorcycle zooms near my spot. I’d be lying if I say that didn't give me a heart attack. I gawked as I watched the driver remove his helmet. Then came Jungkook's smiley adorable face.

Wait what again.

Never mind. You know what, I take back calling him a manchild. He's smoking hot on that motor, minus the umbrella.

"Did I scare you? I saw you jumping for like a meter away. Sorry for that. " He rubs his nape sheepishly.

Maybe this isn't so bad after all.

When we arrived at the mall, Jungkook immediately bought movie tickets good for two while I was busy choosing over cheese flavored popcorn or the barbecue one. He smiled at my form seeing the popcorn bag almost falling off from my embrace.

In the end I chose caramel.

As soon as the movie started rolling, I was pretty much fascinated by the animated characters than by my own date, even to the extent that I forgot I have one. I laughed at some scenes then threw some side comments along the way, I was just hoping I wasn't boring Jungkook out of his wits. Once the movie ended, it was already half past 9 so it was only as expected when we heard our stomachs grumble for food.

"I really want some pizza right now." I muttered mostly to myself but Jungkook seemed to hear me loud and clear as he started to drag me to the nearest pizzeria he saw. I smiled at him once we placed our orders. For a moment, it was really awkward between us which lead me to ponder over some things.

"Why were you determined to take me out earlier? I mean, I'm really not that attractive and I’m pretty sure Tae already told you I’m boring, which is kind of the truth. " I voiced out.

Jungkook seemed to be lost in his own thoughts for a while. I waited for his answer but there was none. He just smiled at me then leaned closer. I furrowed my brows at his actions but he just sent another charming smile on my way.

Charming? What?

He took a deep breath then tucked a loose hair strand behind my ear. I thought he was going to do something funny so I watched him with a pair of eyes that can match a hawk's.

"I really like you. A lot. " Jungkook uttered leaving me stunned. I laugh nervously summoning my wittiness and sassiness to say something funny about that. But my stupid brain chose to blank out.

"Why so sudden? You just met me today? You just can't like me easily? Am I... Do I look easy to you? " I scoffed in feigned ignorance as he leans back in his seat. But the nerve of him to smile that smile of his. We didn't talk for a while, only the clatters and soft murmurs of the people around us was heard. I was uneasy though because the guy left me hanging. You know how curiosity is sometimes.

"Come on. I'm going to take you home now. It's late. " He then paid for our dinner then we walked out of the restaurant as he dragged a dazed me along the pavement of the sidewalk. I just let him be until we stopped in front of a mini park. He made me sit in one of the swings and I just obliged.

"This is actually not the first time we met. " Jungkook starts as he sits on the other swing.

"Back in freshmen year, we were classmates. I saw you during orientation and our lockers were next to each other. But you never really noticed any of that. " He mumbled the last part.

"Taehyung befriended me because I was quite the loner back then. He was nice and he kept talking about this also nice best friend he has. I knew it was you that time. I saw you two bickering." He continues.

I searched the back of my mind for any remarkable event back then. If I ever heard his name before. I remember Taehyung mentioning his name once but I just forgot the topic. So that means Jungkook is not lying. But I couldn't recall anymore information so that leaves me frustrated at the moment because how can I even not remember this guy?

"So Tae being the “good” friend he is did me a favor. He set me up on a date with you. " He said and by this time he stood up then kneeled in front of me, gripping my shoulders and sending me the softest look I had ever seen in someone's eyes.

"I was glad you agreed." Jungkook smiled. I don't know if it was just my eyes or Jungkook was really approaching my face. His breath tickled my face as I resisted the urge to giggle.

"Remember the dance?"

“Remember that weird dude who kept ignoring you and dodging your questions, who kept avoiding your eyes and kept stepping on your feet?”

I furrowed my brows at this. I remember the dress. I remember the lanky tall dude. I remember the incident. But...

"Remember me?" He whispered.

So with that, Jungkook presses his lips against mine. I slowly flutter my eyes shut with all my previous thoughts thrown out of the window because Goddamn, his lips are so soft and he kisses me like I'm the most fragile thing on earth.

He's a good kisser alright!

I wanted to push him away, really. But then he starts to caress my cheek and it was just so nice and warm in a chilly night so...

But wait what about the homecoming? What about..? No way.

I abruptly cut our make out session as I literally jumped away from Jungkook. He was surprised but nonetheless smiled at me despite the weird looks I was sending him.

"Who the heck are you? What the heck are you talking about and why are we kissing in this creepy park? " I said in one go. This is really romantic and all but I have no idea why I'm kissing this creep and cute of a date I have.

"Come on, you still don't remember me? " Jungkook asked then lightly chuckled. Why is he treating me like I'm a China doll when I am very much capable of kicking balls when provoked.

"Then you should answer me because I know for myself that I am very dense and dumb when it comes to things like this. " I admitted, still keeping my distance.

Jungkook sighed then sat on the grass. He patted the spot beside him so I obliged although we were still an arm's length.

"Once upon a time, there was this nerd who was very eager to enter high school despite his mediocre looks and poor social skills. He knew that it would be the start of something new so he welcomed everything, be it something bad or good, he went with the flow. Then he met this girl who just didn't give a what and walked around like a hermit. They were as equally as awkward so the boy found himself admiring her from afar everyday. In his eyes, the girl shone like she is the only being left in the world so he felt the need to protect her from all the evil of this world. He was contented with just looking at her but then this other boy befriended him. This other boy was like a ray of sunshine so they instantly clicked because well, socially awkward boy was in need of a company. This other boy then noticed socially awkward boy's behavior towards the girl so he offered to set them up on a date since apparently, sunshine boy was this girl's best friend. Without hesitation, socially awkward boy accepted. Then homecoming happened."

I suck in a breath as I tensed, remembering every bit of what happened 2 years ago. It can't be him. I mean, the dude back then was lanky and lame and very clumsy. That was Jungkook?

"I'm pretty sure by now you know what I'm talking about. " He added as I felt him avert his eyes over my stiff form.

"You were that dork? " I asked, my face shouting confusion all over the place.

"I'm actually thankful you didn't ditch me before and after the incident. Even after sitting on my puke, you still helped me clean up and didn't even laugh at me. I admire you for that." Then he tucked my hair behind my ear as his thumb caresses my cheek.

"Remember me now?"

The night ended nicely with Jungkook walking me home. As I lay still on my bed, I think back of my recent decisions in life and try to figure out just where I had gone wrong. 2 years ago? Wait, actually no. I made the wrong move when I had protected Taehyung from his bullies back in the first grade. Damn do I regret ever meeting that kid? To hell yes!

My phone suddenly rang cutting me out of my reverie. I glanced at the caller's ID then sighed.

"What? " I grumbled as I curled underneath my blankets.

"Woah there sweet cheeks. What's up with the snappy attitude? " Taehyung chuckled from the other line.

"You tell me captain obvious. " I retorted.

"I'm guessing the date didn't go well? " He asked.

"It actually did. Too well for my own comfort. How did he do that? " I asked in frustration. Those kinds of physical transformation only happen in movies. Now that I'm encountering a perfect example, you could only guess how crept out I am right now. And jealous.

"He's got a bunch of good friends that's how." The lad replied.

"I'm guessing you're not one of them right? " I remarked then heard him whine at the other end of the line.

"When will puberty hit you Tae? " Oh the joys of annoying him.

"Shut up. Did he confess? "

"Why? Are you jealous? " I teased.

"Dude I don't see you in that light so don't even bother. " He exclaimed out of frustration while I internally laugh at him.

"Maybe not me but Jungkook.. Oh I don't know..." I cackled mentally as I hear him hyperventilate out of anger and annoyance.

"PARK SERA I AM STRAIGHT YOU BRAT! " And so I doubled over as I listen to him rant his frustration about our friendship over the phone.

"Seriously though, the guy's been liking you for a while now. And for a while, I mean 2 years. " Taehyung stated after calming down from his outburst.

"He said that too. We actually came to an agreement to see where this date will take us. I just don't understand why it took him 2 years to be on a date with me again. " I wondered out loud.

"He needs time too you know. Look he’s not that lanky and clumsy and shy and awkward now. " Taehyung replied. Is that bitterness I hear?

"Yeah you're- hold up, someone's calling me. " I informed then put our conversation on hold.

"Hello? " I inquisitively muttered, hearing soft puffs of breath from the other line.

"Hi Sera. "

And at that moment I knew I was damned.

"Heyyy Jungkook. So what made you call me at 12 in the midnight?" I asked.

"Actually, I'm still outside your house." He mumbles hesitantly. I jumped onto my feet at this then looked outside of my window, it was foggy so it's probably chilly outside. I don't even know if I should invite him in. Both my parents had gone to hike last last day so I was left alone in the house. But it would be rude if I just leave Jungkook standing outside. So with no contemplation, I ran towards our front door then opened it, revealing Jungkook's shaking figure.

"Why are you still here?" I asked. My question might have appeared a little too rude to him for he seemed abashed and taken aback, making me feel guilty.

"I mean, our date ended an hour ago, have you been sitting here for an hour too?" I asked, softly this time.

"I was kind of thinking about confessing properly earlier but I guess I didn't notice the time. Calling you was just a spur of the moment decision. Go back inside now, it's freezing here. Sorry for bothering you." Jungkook shudders as he tries to hide his clattering teeth.

"Oh. But... do you live nearby? There are no buses out this time and...forget it. If you want, you could stay the night." I offered as I noticed his eyes lightening up in hope. I can't even with this boy. I opened the door wider then gestured him to follow me inside. Once I hear him lock the door, I turned to face him.

"My house is kind of small and since my parents are coming back home anytime tomorrow, I'd suggest you sleep in my room. I don't want them misunderstanding you as a burglar or a charity case. Don't worry, I can just crash down on my own couch." I bit my lip as the awkward atmosphere arise.

"It's okay, I'm grateful enough for letting me stay over. I'll just sleep on the couch.. or on the floor of your room. I'm really sorry for bothering you." He shyly says then I dragged him to my room by his sleeve.

"You can take a shower if you want. I'll just get some clothes from my dad. Maybe something will fit you but don't count on that, he dresses as if he's a hipster." I muttered as I reach for the extra comforter and duvet. I passed it to him then smiled.

"I'll come back and bring some snack from downstairs." I bade then closed my room's door. Heaving a sigh, I pressed my hand against my rapidly beating heart.

"This is unhealthy for you Sera." With a huff, I trudged my way to my parents' room then grabbed a shirt and sweatpants that will hopefully fit Jungkook. Once I was carrying a platter of cookies and a glass of milk, don't judge, I came back inside my room only to gape at the sight before me.

Forget about that forgotten call with Taehyung because what the heck!?

Jeon Jungkook will be the death of me.

"Why are you wearing my pajamas?" I asked as my mouth remains ajar. Jungkook smiled sheepishly as he ruffles his hair using MY towel. MY PINK HELLO KITTY TOWEL. How manly. Oh yeah, and my OCD is striking in.

"I thought it was the clothes you spared so I wore it..." He innocently replied then glanced at the dangling set of plain clothes on my arms, his mouth rounding in understanding.

"I'm so sorry!" He apologizes then starts to lift the shirt over his head, momentarily scaring me.

"Woah woah woah! You are not going to strip in front of me Jeon! Put the darn shirt back on!" I cried out, trying to balance the platter I was carrying.

"I didn't know it was yours. These clothes look like they're triple sizes bigger than your frame." He hastily uttered. I furrowed my brows at him as we both momentarily stilled.

"Not that I saw your body... or I was hoping to see but seriously, You're petite and I didn't think these PJ's will fit to you.. No offence?" Jungkook rambles. I laughed at our situation as I set down the cookies.

"It's fine... I think. I just didn't expect you to wear my clothes. And yeah, they're sizes bigger than me since I too, like my dad, dresses like a hipster. You know, with the baggy pants and shirts." I said then handed him my dad's clothes.

"It's okay if you stay in those so reserve this set for tomorrow." I smiled.

"Here have some snacks. Our dinner had been hours ago so you might be hungry." I then handed him the cookies and a glass of milk.

"Thank you for your kindness." He mumbles as he bites onto a cookie. I patted his fluffy hair then realized my mistake after he stiffens.

"Okay.. Now, that, was a spur of the moment decision." I chuckled nervously then made my way to my bed as Jungkook made himself comfortable on the sofa bed.

"What made you stay outside my house for an hour again?" I asked, trying to ease the awkwardness surrounding us. The guy stiffens again then plopped down the plate of cookies as he sips the milk.

"Confession. A proper one." He answered without looking up. He fiddles with his fingers while I stayed static on my bed.

"Why?" I finally asked, tucking myself underneath the covers.

"I felt like I owe you one. Especially after the kiss. Oh and, you may have talked to Taehyung why it took me 2 years to be on a date with you again, I just wanted to personally answer you because that's how things should be and I'm a grown up now. I think." He replied then looked up at me with his piercing gaze.

"Oh. Yeah, the kiss. So, what actually happened in those two years Jeon?" He smiles at my own nickname for him then find a comfortable position as he lies down on the couch, still facing me.

"I did some changes and learned some lessons, oh and gained some friends too. I thought that if I were to like someone, I should be able to like myself first. Two years back, I knew I didn't like myself for being me so I worked hard for my own and learned to socialize. Now I have a circle of trusty friends, I'm contented of what I am and... I think I'm ready to confess now." He states as he sends a smile on my way.

"And all along, even after having girls possibly dropping their panties because of you, you still like me?" I asked in confusion because who wouldn't? You guys have to understand that Jungkook is a very attractive young man so who wouldn't try to hook up with him?

"Nah, my feelings are mostly what motivated me to be the better me that I am now. Not only for my looks but also self confidence. I used to traipse around like I'm afraid of someone noticing me but now I can walk confidently as an individual, as me." He uttered.

"So... your feelings. I still really don't understand." I murmured.

"I really like you Sera." He confesses.

"What made you like me? Even after my obvious reluctance earlier?" I asked, sounding defensive and all but Jungkook just smiled at me.

"You still did went out on the date with me. Even two years ago, you still went through the dance after finding out how hideous I look back then, you even helped me with the mess I made. You didn't leave me alone in the middle of the crowd Sera, that's what I liked about you. You're considerate and selfless." He noted.

"You weren't hideous, you just looked funny." I muttered as I covered half of my face to hide my reddening cheeks.

"See what I'm talking about? Although you're kind of blunt, your honesty makes up for it." He added.

"I could go on and say a list of things I like about you but you seemed very sleepy so how about we call it a night and just go on another date tomorrow? If that's okay with you." Gone was the shy Jungkook.

So many things can happen in just six hours. Events like a spontaneous date, or a phone call or a heart to heart talk with someone who's been liking you for a couple of years. These are just part of the joys of youth. Some never want it to end and maybe, I'm one of those people.

I looked back at Jungkook then thought, two years were worth it for a lot of things happened and we matured over that span of time, helping him was worth it and being friends with Taehyung is also somehow worth it. If I were to date this adorable confident guy in front of me, what could go wrong? We're only teens. Just because we're going to date doesn't necessarily mean that we're going to be married to each other.

"I don't mind going out on a date with you Jungkook."

#BTS #BTS Jungkook #Bangtan #Bangtan Boys #Bangtan Sonyeondan #Jeon Jungkook #BTS Romance #BTS Fic #BTS fluff #bts angst #bts smut #bts angst fluff

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beatricethecat2 · 7 years

Text

if/then (2.0) - 5

Snow day (again) here in NYC!! I'm letting this go because my mind is already puzzing out ch.6, therefore it must be time. I'll admit, Ch.5 isn't super eventful, but it sets up some important future things, plus marks time passing between Myka's trips to London. Edited 4/13

Previously: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Read first if you are new! gutted/sorted and wax/wane…if/then is a continuation of those two.

//////////////////////

With her weight shifted back on one foot, a finger tapping her lip, Myka stares at her paintings, wrestling with which ones are done and which ones need work. Her progress thus far is passable, but time is of the essence; she has miles to go before her next trip to London.

A buzzy tone breaks her concentration, and she shoots its maker a wary glance; with Claudia and Christina at the movies, and Helena at work; she's not answering if it's anyone else. Around ring number four, the phone spills off the desk, and she lunges to catch it, making a split-second decision to answer when she sees who's calling.

“Abigail.”

“Myka! You picked up!"

“I know. I've emailed...”

“Barely.”

“Sorry.” At a loss for a snappy comeback, Myka pulls a chair forward and sits at her desk.

“Where are you?"

“Brooklyn. Attempting to paint.”

“For that thing?”

“Yeah, the thing.”

An incredible opportunity dropped into her lap at a dinner Amanda dragged her to; a collector put her in touch with a gallery seeking an artist to fill an abruptly vacated spot. It's location, Warsaw, seemed off the beaten path at first, but Amanda had stars in her eyes over the deal; so she said yes without pushing for particulars. As it stands, she's committed to sending all the work she has on hand and, perhaps foolishly, promised even more.

“How’s that going?”

“Slow.” Myka slides an unopened piece of mail from an oversized pile and plucks a pen from a cup.

“Things better with Christina?”

“Getting there.” Myka presses the pen to the envelope and draws a straight line, then traces the pen over it, slowly thickening its form.

“But…”

It has gotten better since the airport, but something changed that day; leaving Helena behind pushed their already tenuous sense of composure over the edge. As they approached the security line, Christina grabbed Helena’s shirt and buried her face in it, crying “I wanna stay with you” on repeat, like a mantra. Helena picked Christina up and held her tight, murmuring comforting phrases in her ear, her eyes watery and wild as they met Myka’s nearby. Myka teared up the longer she held Helena’s gaze, her insides quivering at the desperation in Christina's tone and for a brief moment, she was tempted to stay. Helena must have sensed the sentiment; when she whispered something in Christina's ear and kissed her forehead, Christina went slack, then slid limply down Helena's body as she lowered her to the floor.

“Myka?”

Myka scribbles over her line but doesn’t answer, just stares at messy marks she made.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now, but eventually—“

“Yeah..”

The plane ride amplified Christina's discontent, and when they arrived back at the apartment, she dumped her bags in the living room, grabbed Dewy and stormed off to her room without as much of a hello to Claudia. She refused to talk to anyone but Helena, and later, when Myka dared peek in, she lay sprawled across the bed, the phone next to her head, hugging her stuffed horse. Myka entered gingerly and sat next to Christina on the bed, sharing a harrowed glance with Helena on the phone. Helena eventually convinced Christina to talk to Myka again, and Christina nodded off soon after. When Myka reached across to end the call, Helena looked down and shook her head.

“I’m having trouble keeping track of everything.”

“Color me surprised.”

Myka makes a slow, steady circle around her scribble. “Claudia’s annoyed with me.”

“I know. I’ve heard.”

“You've talked to her?”

“Friends talk in regular intervals. It’s thing people do.”

Myka draws circles within her circle around its edges. “No matter how much I plan, something always comes up.” She fills a circle in as densely as she can, black ink shining with a hint of red. “I am good at getting Christina to school on time."

“You have too much on your plate.”

“That’s what Helena said.” Myka stills her pen, her mind filling with their conversation from a few weeks ago. Overtaxed was Helena's exact word, but the sentiment is the same.

“Do you two talk much?”

“Yeah,” Myka answers, without thought, then taps the tip of the pen on her doodle, staring, but not focusing on the marks she made. “Ok, no. Not about the things we should. She talks with Christina daily, but our schedules are off. It’s hard to find times when we’re both on the same wavelength.”

“Hm,” Abigail responds.

“Hm, what?” Myka mumbles, absently flipping over the envelope, her chest tightening as she reads the return address, belonging to the attorneys handling the lawsuit against her previous landlord.

“I’m calculating the exact moment this all blows up in your face.”

“When what blows up in my face?” Myka slips the mail back into the pile instead of opening it; she's vaguely aware of the suit's progress but hasn’t followed up.

“Everything, Myka. Seriously, and I say this with love, you’re in over your head.”

Myka's jaw clenches as she fidgets with the pen. “I have a new intern at work. And Leena’s back next month. Plus Sally's helping with the Italians in London.”

“What about Christina and your show and—”

“I can handle it."

“What if you can't?”

Myka flicks her pen across the table. “Why are you riding my ass?”

“Myka!”

“Sorry. I’m just...” Myka slumps aggressively back in her chair.

“You keep piling new things on top of old ones, and nothing gets resolved."

“You don’t know that.“

“Exactly. Keeping things from the people closest to you is a recipe for disaster.”

"I’m not keeping anything from anyone. It’s work.”

“Maybe you’re taking this 'on the QT' thing a little too seriously."

“The circumstances are…delicate. The stakes are high. I’m not doing anything illegal.”

“Not like Helena was?”

“No,” Myka grunts, a sudden coldness hitting her core at the comparison; her belly then knotting at the thought of viewing Helena in a negative light. She drops her head into a hand, elbow now leaning on the desk, and pushes her hair back, away from her face. “She turned a blind eye when she shouldn’t have, that’s all.”

“And why would she do that?”

Myka's face pinches; she knows the answer, but it doesn’t sit well. “The money?”

“Sound familiar?”

“This is more than that. This is my career.”

“Which career? You move through them like water lately. I heard you drop everything the minute your 'anonymous source’ emails. If Claudia can’t trace them—”

“She reads my emails?” Myka jerks upright, heart racing, fingers digging into the arm of her chair.

“She sees the back end, the data. You do share a network."

“I can’t believe she’d do that.”

“She’s worried. We all are.”

“She shouldn’t do that,” Myka grumbles, shaking her head.

“Does Vanessa know about this deal with Mrs. Frederic?”

“I…can’t tell her.”

“Myka...”

“It’s Mrs. Frederic!”

“Who you know oh-so-well.”

“Why don’t you trust my judgment?”

“Because this isn’t like you, plowing ahead without any thought of consequences. Your decisions have always been measured, thoroughly thought through.”

“I am measured. I have a goal.” Abigail knows Myka would like to be settled in London by Christmas; more than once, she's ignored Abigail's plea that that’s not reasonable.

“Think about where you were last year at this time. Then think about now."

Last year, she was hemming and hawing over moving in with a stranger named Kelly, just to be close to her new job, which was also a point of contention; she wasn’t sure if it was it the right environment for her. She wouldn’t have made a singular move without weighing the pros and cons meticulously, the time for which seems like a luxury right now. That part of her life feels alien, like a different Myka altogether, as does her time spent with Sam.

“Point taken,” Myka says, but offers no further exposition.

“Remember, I’m here for you. Claudia’s here for you. Talk to us if you can’t talk to Helena.”

“Thanks,” Myka says, wishing she’d never picked up the phone. “Could we talk about something else now?”

There's a pause; Myka pictures Abigail grimacing over the change in topic.

“Fine. Tell me about these paintings.”

-----------------------

"Myka, I’m stuck.”

Christina sits slumped over her homework, surrounded by couch cushions and textbooks.

“One minute, honey."

Myka's stationed at the bar, typing on her keyboard; her anonymous source sent a motherlode of information, and she needs them to decipher a few details as soon as possible.

“You said that fifteen minutes ago."

“I did?”

Myka glances at the time; not only has it been fifteen minutes but it's now past Christina’s bedtime. She skims her email and, deciding it's in no shape to send, saves her work then folds her laptop closed.

“So, what do we have here,” Myka says, joining Christina on the couch.

“Are you mad at me?” Christina says, not looking up from her homework.

“Why would I be mad?” Myka scoots closer and circles a hand around Christina's back.

“We never spend time together since we visited Mom."

“I went your kempo thingy last week.”

“You came at the end."

“I had a late meeting."

“You’re always working. We never do anything fun anymore."

“I know,” Myka says, the guilt evident in her tone. "But the reason I’m working so hard is so we can see your Mom more."

“Really?” Christina looks up, her eyes filled with interest.

“Yeah."

“Is she ever coming to visit us?"

“Not anytime soon."

Christina's head lowers and her shoulders slump.

“We've talked about this. She wants to but she can’t.” Myka brushes Christina's curls out of her eyes and combs her fingers through her hair, then rests her hand on Christina’s shoulders.

“I miss her."

“I miss her, too.” Myka slides her hand around Christina’s upper arm and pulls her close. “You'll see her in two weeks."

“I know,” Christina says, with little enthusiasm. She wraps her arms around Myka's torso and burrows into her side. “I want her to come here."

“I thought you liked London?"

“It's ok,” Christina says, snuggling even closer. “I want Mom to take me to get pancakes at the restaurant. Or come to my concert.” She sniffles a little, clearly tearing up. "You'll come, won't you?"

Myka tenses, unable to recall the exact date of Christina’s drum recital, but immediately slackens, smoothing down Christina’s hair to hide her unease. She looks towards the calendar on the fridge and squints to make out its contents; she sincerely hopes she's cleared her schedule for that evening.

“Your Mom will be there in spirit. She'll listen in on the phone.”

“What if she’s at work?”

Myka looks towards the fridge again; Helena’s schedule from last week is blocked out, but not this week coming up. She'd best not make promises she can't keep.

“Let’s call her and ask."

“This isn’t a night she tucks me in. She has school in the morning, like me."

One more glance at the calendar, one more point of failure; Christina has Helena’s schedule memorized, but she does not. "I think she’d take a call from us."

Myka clicks a button on the remote, turning the TV on, then grabs her phone and syncs it with the screen. She taps call and crosses her fingers; if she’s lucky, Helena's not covering for someone at the bar.

Relief washes over her when Helena’s face immediately pops up on the screen.

“Hello, loves!”

“Mom!” Christina blurts. She lets go of Myka and sits up.

“You’re up,” Myka adds, a slight question in her tone.

“Studying, I’m afraid. And to what do I owe this wondrous interruption."

"Someone was missing you.” Myka looks over at Christina

"It's past someone's bedtime," Helena says looking at Myka.

"I'll tell you what, why don't you get ready for bed and your Mom can tuck you in. We'll finish your homework in the morning."

“Yay!” Christina chirps then scurries off.

"She's not finished her homework?"

"She asked for help, but I flubbed it. I needed to finish this email before bed time."

"You work too hard."

"I'm trying to—"

Helena holds up a hand. “I’m aware. And I hate to sound like a worried mother but—"

"She needs me there to help."

"She already has one absentee parent."

Myka’s guilt gives her pause; she leaves the subject there.

"Why are you still up?"

“I couldn't sleep. I am studying. You may recall, I added an art history module to stay current with the interests of my love.” Helena grins, pleased with her admission, but her eyes seek Myka’s approval.

“That’s really sweet,” Myka says, smiling crookedly, her chest warming at how smitten she is with this woman in on the screen.

"I do fear I'm becoming a night owl from bar work."

“Do you make it to class ok?"

“Model student, I assure you."

"I didn't mean to sound that way.”

Helena’s sober tone signals she’s ruined the intimate moment; as their eyes lock, Myka's brows draw together, and her lips rise in apology. Much to Myka’s relief, Helena’s face shows more concern than offense.

“You're exhausted. You should rest."

“I just need to finish this—"

“Done!" Christina announces, bounding in front of the TV.

“Let's get you into bed,” Myka says.

“I'll transfer the call to my mobile, and you do the same.”

The TV blacks out and when Helena pops back up, she’s already crossed the room and is searching for a book. Her computer glows bright orange in the distance and Myka tilts her head, squinting at its screen, intrigued by the image, which looks oddly similar to one she was told to view earlier by her anonymous source.

“What were you studying?”

“Marvels of the eighteenth century."

“I think I recognize your—“

The screen abruptly blanks, and Myka looks for Christina, who she finds already walking towards her room, smiling, phone in hand.

Myka shakes off her suspicions; the thought is absurd; the image too blurry to make out, it could easily be anything. She rises and follows Christina into her room, then sits on the bed nad lovingly pulls the covers up and around her shoulders.

“Goodnight, honey,” she says and brushes Christina’s hair out of her eyes, placing a light kiss on her forehead.

“You rest, love,” Helena's voice suggests from Christina’s pillow. “I’ll handle things from here.”

Myka glances at the phone and smiles a tired, warm smile, then stands and turns to leave. As she crosses the room, her mind fills with her interrupted email, but before she exits, Dewy bolts past, nearly tripping her in the process. She watches him bound on top of the bed, turn around once, then hunker down, claiming his portion at the end.

Christina barely notices, already engrossed in Helena’s story. Myka stands and listens in.

“...one of the enormous burnished tentacles came down, gently and precisely, and it’s tip curled about Jack’s waist, and it lifted him up, up, to where a hole opened like a mouth in the hemisphere, and swallowed him."

Myka’s neck hairs bristle at the visual and Christina clutches at her stuffed horse, clearly affected by the scene. Myka doesn't recognize the story, but she's intrigued; Helena's mentioned seeking out new bedtime stories and even asked her for suggestions; she’s not yet managed to pitch in.

Her gaze drifts to Dewy, who is lifting up on his paws, back stretching into a graceful arc, turning circle upon circle before settling into a neat, cozy ball. Christina shimmies closer to the phone, captivated by the rise and fall of Helena's voice shifting effortlessly between characters and the narrator. Though she’s thousands of miles away, Helena’s presence thoroughly fills the room; the scene in front of her tugs at Myka’s heart.

And at that moment, she's hit with a revelation; out of all the hurdles she's jumping, parenting is one at which she genuinely wants to excel. While the work is unfamiliar and often unrelenting, the intense moments of happiness it brings, even in most mundane moments, are like nothing she's ever felt before.

Since story time comes but once a day, work emails can wait; she moves back to the bed and maneuvers herself into the big spoon position behind Christina. Christina sinks into her embrace, and she hugs her close, then closes her eyes, letting the rich, soothing tones of Helena’s voice lull her into a peaceful slumber.

-TBC-

#BERING AND WELLS #w13 #fanfic #Eternal AU week #if/then (2.0)#Sometimes you don't know you are ignoring issues #until you are told you are #because you are too busy getting through the day #I think Myka's 100% in that boat #the quote is from The White Mountians #which I am reading again for the first time #since I was Christina's age #and enjoying quite throughly #I wonder how much of my world view #was shaped by these books?

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