#but i never thought about the utter himbo energy

[worstloki]

Top Forty Thor-Being-Thor Moments from Thor 1

just absolute dumb*ssery that this 7yr old kid’s life goal is to “hunt down the monsters and slay them all”. I’ll go easy on him here and let the Thor/Loki expressions do the talking because of “...just like you did Father” but seriously can his hands even fit around a sword handle??? this kid isn’t even punching the air right??? if there was a sword in his hand he would’ve cut his head with the way he’s moving???? pure tiny-himbo energy here just look at that >:o face he’s making. contrasts very nicely with Loki’s ‘,:|. 10/10. such a baby idiot.

“the jotuns must pay for what they have done! they broke into the weapons vault! if the frost giants had stolen even one of these relics!” thor. thor please. can you even name one of these relics. thor. hey thor. thor. shut up. “well, what would you do about this?” odin asks him. “march into jotunheim! like you once did! break their spirits! so they’ll never try anything like this again!” wow okay so we’ve fast-forwarded by like a thousand years and thor is still going on about genocide. huh. that’s funny, i thought loki was the genocidal one. hmm. i also just realized that the loki exclusive clip gives loki the same hairstyle thor has here so do what you will with that information.

0/10. horrible. terrible. i dont care how angy thor is about not getting to kill some jotuns or become king today this very instant, that is a tremendous waste of food. an absolute fool. how can he just remorselessly throw the bread to the floor. if loki stabbed him when he was 7 he would deserve it for this table flip alone. what a privileged white *ssh*le.

loki came skulking around a corner and suggested not to go to jotunheim and not only did thor not suspect anything but he also then went on to decide to go to jotunheim. 10/10 himbo material. 

if tumblr didn’t have a picture limit i would put every instance of thor smiling in this list because look at that stupid smile. he’s such an idiot. 11/10. this is the thor content i’m here for.

“I have no plans to die today” thor says with the stupidest open-mouthed smirking smile ever captured on film. right after he also told heimdall not to tell anyone they’re gone. he’s literally planned to strand them on jotunheim. thor’s grand plan was to strange themselves on jotunheim and also start a fight. i repeat: thor’s plan was to successfully slay all the frost giants and not need to return until they’re all gone. what an absolute d*mb*ss. this is getting ridiculous. this was originally a top-ten-thor moments list but i’m not even twenty minutes in so i’ll have to extend the list. thor. thor are you listening? thor, you’re such an idiot.

“HOW DID YOUR PEOPLE GET INTO ASGARD?!” thor you sweet sweet summer idiot, please, i am beggin,g you,, learn to rea,d , a room,, literally everyone else who came with you is regretting it, there is complete silence and only the rumble of the opposing king is meeting your “I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN”s, please, please take some notes from Loki, or, you know, literally anyone else in the room, since everyone is asking you to get out of this realm while you still can,

thor’s stupid smile makes an appearance after he gets called a princess and decides to fight a whole realm over it. you know what? thor is a princess. he’s the prettiest princess in all the lands. what’s thor gonna do about it? is he going to fight me too? I hope he does the stupid grin first. minus 15 points for the sexism. thor is a complete and utter sadistic fool who needs to get a hobby. seriously, he’s 1500 years old and still going on and on about slaying all the frost giants. boi, i hate to break it to you, but your dad is not the best or only example of greatness out there. i don’t think your dad even qualifies as an example of that. 

“THEN. GO!” 🥰 ahh yes, just thor thingz 🥰🥰 like when one friend has had his arm burnt 🥰 and another friend has been impaled and needs medical attention, 🥰🥰 and all the rest of your friends are yelling for you, 🥰 and your brother is telling you they must go, 🥰 and you decide to buy everyone time by laughing maniacally and killing more frosties because you care for them and dont find joy in destruction like a loon 🥰🥰🥰 

THIS is the iconic Thor moment that makes my day whenever I think about it. Just Thor, an absolute bumbering 6′6′’ giant boodlusting dummy sees Odin and just decides to yell “FATHAA!! WE’LL FINISH THEM TOGETHAAA!” as if the last thing Odin told him wasn’t “no, thor, we’re not going to do anything to the frost giants, do not go after them and try to kill them all.” 11/10 d*mb*assery right here folks, I couldn’t ask for Thor to be more of a fool. This is PEAK Thor energy. Look at that face. I feel like Thor spends half this movie with his nostrils flared. I love it.

okay i gotta give thor credit for rightfully calling odin “an old man and a fool” but also there was not even 1 frame of the scene where Thor had a decent face so now all i see is >:O >:| >:o >:[ when i watch that scene. yelling at odin was great, not yelling at odin after he HUAERGHed at loki was less great, but to be fair it’s thor and he is the definition of Peak D*mb*ss. 

thor literally GROWLS and starts yelling “HAMMAA?? HAMMER??” over and over. He was hit by a van, he fainted, he woke up and started growling. I don’t know what else there is to say about this.

“you dare threaten me? puny human?”. so. uhh. basically. Thor knew she was threatening him? He KNEW she had a weapon? instead he made a face and started yelling as he tried to walk his way closer????? thor you complete and utter dum dum. you frickin hairball-for-brains. im not even surprised darcy tasered him. with that kind of face, i’d taser him too.

when you wake up in an unknown place to a person smiling at you without a stupid smile, the first step is always to attack first and ask questions later 😌😌😌 (but seriously thor you imbecile why didn’t you ask where you were instead of throwing multiple people around the room and getting your butt needled. you clueless buffoon. you’ll remain a clueless buffoon if you don’t listen to anyone.)

just a quick recap but thor was knocked unconscious by a van and these people kidnapped him aboard and the next scene we see him in he’s checking himself out in  mirror after presumably changing right there in the open?????? these are the things that make thor thor. any other character and i’d question it so much, but this is thor, and i truly believe this is in-character for him. just change in the open because why not? thor is a beefcake and that’s his only redeeming quality and he knows it. 10/10 thor moment. 

I am now convinced that Thor saw Jane and “5k van-hitter to lover slow-burn height-difference himbo-scientist trope” flashed through his mind.

“but no more smashing!” Jane says, and then Thor proceeds to check her out and smile unlike an idiot and like a douche. was this his version of flirting???? i’m not one to decide, but yes, yes it was. He threw a cup to the ground and broke it, and she’s getting mad at him and berating him about it, and he’s liking it. y’all i’m sorry to break it to you like this, but thor has a canon fetish. i am so, so sorry.

im DYING. THAT ISN’T EVEN A KISS, HIS MOUTH IS OPEN. he SMUSHES his mouth around her knuckle???? WHY. I can’t keep noticing things like this. send help. please. Jane’s response makes so much more sense now; she’s laughs for a solid 3 seconds and shakes her head and is like “uhh, thank you? ahaha,” and then she keeps looking back longingly when walking away. they are doing this in PLAIN sight of EVERYONE. Darcy and Erik are standing RIGHT THERE, and Thor is doing weird things to her with his mouth. I’m out. I am done here. goodbye. 

return of the stupid smile AND the douche smile in quick succession through the entire trip. their entire dialogue is peppered with innuendo. “I’ve never done anything like this before. have you ever done anything like this before?” “many times, but you are brave to do it.” “I have nothing else to lose.” “ah but you are clever, far more clever than anyone else on this realm.” “realm? rEaLm?” “you think me strange?” “yes” “good strange or bad strange?” “I haven’t decided yet.” I AM DYING OVER THIS. plus, we get Return Of The Himbo with Jane asking after Einstein Rosen bridges and Thor is like “uh, actually, more like a rainbow bridge 😜🤪” i feel so sorry for jane here, didn’t know how much of a d*mb*ss Thor was when signing up for this van-trip and knuckle-sucking 😭😭😭 i also no longer have questions about how the trip that SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HALF-HOUR ONE turned into one that LASTED TILL THE SUN WENT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY TO SETTING by the time they arrived. I have no questions. please. I don’t want to know what they were doing in that van. please no. don’t make me think about it.

thor’s plan had 3 steps and they were 1. give jane his jacket 2. walk in and get his hammer 3. fly out. that was literally his plan. he had the first “I have a plan. attack.” moment in the MCU. pure concentrated 0-brain-cells energy right here. how can you not stan this king of d*mb*ssery. look at him, flaunting his big boy muscles. he’s about get his hammer and fly out, like he just told jane with a trademark stupid-smile.

crop-top hair-mop thor is my favourite thor. the way the entire fight scene parallels a hamster in a maze only exemplifies the thor vibes for some inexplicable reason.

“you’re big. fought bigger.” + Thor douche-smile + subtext from earlier + rolling around passionately in the mud = not a happy me. 

I swear i’m not making up this romantic subtext but it’s barely even subtext. the entire scene leading up to Thor’s attempt at lifting the hammer is actually filmed erotically. I’m not kidding. First there’s a shot where Thor pulls aside a hamster-cage-wall blind which mirrors a shower-curtain, and THEN he walks around the hammer while smiling douche-ly at it, we get a few close-ups to his face which are shot from angles slightly lower than himself, giving him an aire of superiority, plus the music adds to this, he reaches out for the hammer’s handle with a mud-covered arm in the rain, in non-slow-motion slow-motion, and he wraps his arm around it, like, he fully twists his arm, unecessarily sexually, around it as he grabs the hammer. This is not okay. On the plus side, it makes the movie much more entertaining,, on the down side,,.

im not going to call Thor dumb for not knowing he’s not worthy. im not going to. because odin literally whispered the enchantment to mjolnir after he’d thrown thor to midgard. it is very funny watching thor grunt in frustration though. he starts yelling because he couldn’t lift the hammer and just lets himself get caught. like, dude, get a life, go buy a new weapon from the store, seriously. he mourns for the hammer on-screen longer than he does for loki. he also looks like he’s in far more pain here. he becomes catatonic and unresponsive after this, but when loki dies he’s already feasting the same afternoon. 10/10 dum dum thor material. never change thor, never change. (that’s code for please change, thor, please,)

thor trying to establish dominance wherever he goes is the funniest thing because at this point he’s being a complete asgardian *ss about it and it’s reaching points of pettiness never seen before. side note: he is possibly flirting with selvig too. maybe. i’m not saying anything happened, but Thor’s openning lines when bringing him home carried over his shoulder are “he’s fine, not injured at all,” followed with an apology to selvig, and an explanation to jane which consisted only of “we drank, we fought, he made his ancestors proud,” and then he puts the man to bed and before he falls asleep erik says “i still don’t believe you’re the g*d of th*nder, but you ought to be,” so... your choice, i guess...

thor’s got his trademark stupid smile and stupidly takes jane’s life’s work notebook and starts doodling in it about trees. the last time his father told him this story about Yggdrasil was when he was 5 and he clearly hasn’t payed attention to any lesson about anything since and it shows so so much. thank you thor. very insightful knowledge you’re passing on hear. ‘i come from a world where [science and magic] are one and the same,’ ok great, now elaborate on that please. oh, right, you can’t because you’re thor, my bad, 20/10 thor behaviour. he couldn’t even doodle nicely. all his lines are wobbly. epic art fail. i wouldn’t trust him near my sketchbook with a 2B pencil.

THIS is thor’s realization face. in case anyone was interested in what ‘dawning truth’ looked like on him. 😰😪 THIS is the face of a thinker, of a man betrayed by his own beloved brother for unprecedented reasons. look at the nuance in his expression. 😩😩😩 so many emotions, I can’t even count them all 😩💯😪

stupid smile and “do not worry my friends, i have a plan,” he says, “i’ll just try and abuse the fact that Loki’s super selfless and kind and has no self worth to my benefit as i have countless times before which is exactly what he’s rightfully angry about this time,” he doesn’t think to himself because that is NOT the smile of someone who is thinking... like, at all. +10000 points to gryffinthor. the d*mb*ssery really jumps out.

“im sorry bro for whatever i did and whatever you’re blaming me for as an excuse to do this, im sorry bro, but you’re disturbing innocents that i don’t really care about but you’re the one making a scene in front of them so why don’t you admit you won’t kill me and are just having a temper tantrum and we move on? hmm?” and then he proceeds to get slam dunked in the face with a metal arm like yEAAAA BOI that’s what you GET for going up against the SENTIENT LAVA-SPEWING metal-man ya absolute dunderhead clod. thunderhead clod? yeah, that. he’s just so dumb, your honour, please, you must understand, the victim pleads guilty on all charges of d*mb*ss and d*mb*ss alone.

I can NOT describe the emotions I feel knowing that Thor is suck-kissing Jane’s knuckles. Like, his mouth is literally jelly-ing it up against her hand. There is suction there and it shows when he is placing and removing his mouth. I promise that’s what is happening. I’m not any happier than you about this. I regret everything. This is why Loki should be what is focused on and not Thor; Thor’s going around trying to frick frack everything in sight even if it’s just Jane’s hand. He’s maintaining eye contact with Jane while he licks her fingers. Why did I decide to rewatch this movie. 

i’m only adding this in as a thor moment because of how desperately and badly they kiss. seriously. 2/10 kiss. im not surprised jane broke up with him. they look like two actual seals fighting over an actual grape. while i’m here i’m going to criticize every fic ever that decided thor is an experienced gentle lover. what were y’all on when watching this movie. thor can and will f*ck literally everything in sight and he won’t even do it well because he is the peakest of peak d*m d*m. look at this man. look at his face. that is the face of an absolute himbo idiot, and it’s the face of an absolute himbo idiot who knows it. he’s been stranded on earth for 2 days, max, and his flirt-count is at 69 people because his name is one letter away from thot. i bet his terrible use of a pen from early means he writes his ‘r’s like ‘t’s and he doesn’t even care. 1000/10 thor moment. doesn’t get much more romance-thor than two individuals smooshing their faces together after some finger sucking. that finger sucking is gonna leave jane simping for years. and that’s true love babey. <3

“I’ll handle my Brother!” Thor says, as if Loki didn’t send a metal-murder-bot that quite virtually killed him less than ten minutes ago asdfhkhsdgsdjf Thor, you horrific himbo you, Loki’s weapon of choice is literally throwing knives he will literally kill you before you enter the room if he’s on his game and wants you dead which he just proved he would do and you’re just gonna???????????? jog on over to him????? Thor??????????? bruH???????????? buddy??????? pal???????? you really wanna go 1v1 the brother you very clearly underestimate and know nothing about????????????????? im loving the confidence, but, no.

Loki: “you literally can’t stop this from here.” Thor, immediately: “i’m going to hit it with the hammer and see if that works” and then it does in fact work later... technically speaking, even if it ends up causing chaos destruction and death and loki falling off the bifrost 😔😔😔 but Big Brain Thor is the Biggest Brained Thor!!! The plan worked!! in a messy-Thor-ish way, but it did!!!

“you can’t kill an entire race!!!!” Thor yells, teeth gritted, as he faces his brother, his coward pacifist brother, who has suddenly decided he wants to join the age-old family tradition of realm-destroying, when this is supposed to be Thor’s dream, Thor’s, not Loki’s. How dare he, Thor thinks to himself, fist clenched around Mjolnir in anger, the pain of the handle pressing against his palm perhaps the only thing preventing him from lashing out at this thought, that’s my planet of monsters to slay, he should go get his own! Loki hits Thor across the face with the back-end of his spear. “Now fight me,” Loki says, but Thor, well, Thor cannot fight, as he remains stunned that of all things Loki would dare steal his life’s ambition, and he is sent sprawling backwards across the observatory, slowly but surely sliding to a stop despite his catatonic, very symbolic silence.

the elegance, the poise, i see your time on earth has made you no less graceful, Thor. the simple magnitude of this sprawl. the spread of the arms. the turn of the feet. this is not a dude, this is a man.

sometimes your brother starts vehemently talking about he’s gonna kill the race of monsters and about how he’s only ever wanted to be your equal and about how he’s not your brother and never was and sometimes you just have to say “this is madness” instead of addressing the issues or asking for any of the  deets 🔥 👊💯😩

Loki is whipping Thor’s butt. Both literally, and metaphorically, Loki is whooping Thor’s d*mb*ss. Earlier he knicked Thor’s face, now he’s just pushing Thor around, he uses the spear as a pole and later kicks Thor’s face by kicking vertically up, and Thor, bless him in all his blond golden muscled glory, doesn’t think anything is up with this, gosh he’s such an absolute utter idiot

sometimes your brother laughs way too much and also cries too much in a fight and there are also too many of him so you just need to blast lightning so you get a shot at all of them 😌😌😌 and then put your magical infinitely-heavy hammer on his chest 😌😌😌 but it’s okay because Thor left holes in Loki’s container 😌😌😌

now THIS is the meat to Thor’s funny bone, just the pure unadulterated humour that is Thor saying that there will never be a “wiser king” or a “better father” than Odin, it cracks me up every single time without fail, just the way he says it with a straight face and— what do you mean he wasn’t joking

look at Thor’s stupid smile as he asks Heimdall to spy on jane every single day while conveniently never asking after Loki ever. This is Thor’s face in mourning after he attended a feast after everyone was celebrating after Loki’s death. Look at his stupid smile. I love him your honour. He’s just,, he’s just so frickin stewpeed, just Thor being Thor, just the purest of d*mbest of *sses. 

#listen #if people can interpret loki and the grandmaster as a thing when loki spends the entire time looking uncomfortable about every situation #then i can interpret thor as flirting with people when there are actual canon questions which get solved when other explanations dont work #so #dont mind me here #in conclusion: thor is a dum dum idiot and it's *chef's kiss* #thank you for coming to my ted talk #ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan #TPILTMLS #Language! #language #im one of those people who comments on things through movies but you can't be mad because it's worth it and i've got points #obviously writing means i can get the full gist of the comments out without summarizing #but #like #my family is simply underappreciative and i'm a genius

[mercurygray]

i saw your post about the ballet au and figured i’d hop on in the ask box to enable <33 (bc i am very much ✨intrigued✨ entirely haha!!)

So glad someone asked!  Behold, 1300 words of utter nonsense - featuring ballet himbo Talbert , fresh from a stint on An American in Paris because I can, a really lovely interview by @shoshiwrites​‘s Jo Brandt, and some very  👀 commentary from Tab’s instagram followers, who totally know something’s up between Winters and Warren:

He’d come back here with every intention of tossing his bag on the couch and filling his water bottle - but the problem was that the couch was already occupied. "Well, well, well,” Dick said, trying to sound angry even though he was the furthest thing from it. “Look who it is. Fresh from his European tour.  Still managing to convince people you can sing and pass for a GI, Tab?"

"And you're still managing to be a Disney Prince," Floyd Talbert spat back, standing up quickly so the two of them could watch each other for a bare moment before they broke and Floyd pulled Dick in for a big hug. “Buddy.”

“I'm glad you’re home,” Dick said, meaning every word.  

"Glad to be home,” Tab admitted, sitting back down on the couch with an undignified flop. “Musical theatre is fun, but I want to get back to my roots, you know? Speaking of which - reviews on Mayerling are fantastic,” Floyd said with a grin. “I watched some clips on the plane. Who knew you could do hot?" He grinned at Dick’s slight unease. "So, where's the girl you get to seduce every night? I want to meet her, she's out here making you look like a sex god." He flipped open the magazine he’d been reading to the photospread, an impossibly nice art shot of Dick doing something wildly athletic. "Case in point: Hello, Mr. January."

Dick felt himself blush a little. "Will you stop? Your blogger entourage is rotting your brain." 

"Have to give the fans what they want, Dick,” Tab said, leaning back on the couch. “I am what the internet calls 'a simple himbo' and I'm having a moment. Speaking of which, we need a picture of the two of us so we can break Instagram." He turned around on the couch so he could hold up his phone. “Smile!”

"Please don't put something stupid in the caption," Dick begged, somewhat toothlessly, knowing that Tab was going to do...whatever Tab was going to do.

Tab composed for a moment and read aloud. “Hanging out with man/myth/legend Winters in between #Mayerling shows. Plans to invade Europe developing nicely. #2021tour #companydance #himbosanonymous”

Dick sighed and made a vague gesture before going to fill his water bottle, listening while Tab’s phone made a series of noises indicating the world thought well of the photo, and came back to his friend paging happily through his comments. “Hey, you didn’t answer my question. The internet needs to know more about the situation with your new principal, while I’m here. They want the deets. Although I really want to steer them towards this article, which is delightful, by the way. You should have Jo Brandt write copy for everything.”

“I haven’t read it,” Dick admitted, digging in his bag for his shoes.

Tab made a noise of disgust. “Dick!”

“I have to rehearse, Tab.”

“Fine, then I’ll read it to you while you warm up,” Tab said, unstoppable. “I might skip a bit, you know, for reasons.”

He cleared his throat and settled into a seat against the wall. "After the events of last year, it's clear that the Company's board and creative team are eager to turn over a new leaf - and what a leaf it is. Heading in a new direction with a blazingly hot ballet that will make converts of even the most lackluster of classical dance fans, they've also enlisted the talents of a new principal whose roots in the dance world run deep. A graduate of the Royal Ballet School, with stints in Paris, Vienna, and San Francisco, Joan Warren’s dance credentials are impeccable - a fact that should be shared before we mention that her uncle is also on the board of this prestigious institution. But there was little favoritism in her selection - a field of twenty candidates were all in the running for Eileen Hammond’s position.

Was it intimidating, I ask, coming on to such a team at such a time? Hammond's pointe shoes were considerable ones to fill, and Winters - he smiles as I suggest this - has been known to be a formidable partner. "You know, I did meet her, after we'd been in rehearsals for a while, and we got on pretty well. She's been such a part of the company and the reputation that's been built here. But everyone's been very welcoming, and kind."

Winters is quick to remind her that she also didn't come in acting like she owned the place. "She came in for rehearsal like she was another dancer for warmups, and and the dance mistress comes in - oh, Miss Warren, you don't have to practice in here. 'It's fine, I like warming up with the company.'' Winters smiles as he tells this story. "She's going to laugh at me but she goes out of her way to make other people look good. Particularly me."

It's true - the twenty-eight year old dancer has never looked better than he does playing Crown Prince Rudolf. A man we've gotten used to seeing as the prince of fairy tales fairly sizzles in this role, which is a deal more sensual than his usual fare, and a large part of that, he says, is having a partner who sells that appeal to the audience. Warren's Vesera is magnetic, and one can see a youthful energy in her dance sequences with the company that seem at odds with the poised, collected young woman in the room now.

When I ask about playing a sixteen year old girl in an epic love story, Warren's eyes light up a little. "It's...you know, it's a fun challenge, and there's so much there to work with. Rudolf is older, and has been beaten down a lot, right, he's in this loveless marriage and his mother is very demanding and here's this young woman who is...totally outside of that. When we're teenagers we think we can do anything, right? And he finds that..." she looks over to Winters, who is smiling and nodding in agreement, "Intoxicating. And she...she loves being in this position of power. She plays with him. But I don't think she really understands, fully, what it is she's playing with, how deeply troubled he is. For her it's just a game, and it makes it all the more tragic." Has she ever been in love like that, she chuckles a little and looks at her hands. "I think we've all been a little stupid, but fortunately, no." And Winters? He snorts and shakes his head. 

Do they see any of themselves in the characters they're dancing? "His drive, I think, to do better, be better," Winters admits. "He's very hard on himself, and I recognize that." And Warren? "I hope I have a little of her joy," she says, with a smile that suggests there's no trouble finding any of that in her life. "I'm not sure I want to be manipulative or naive." Her co star is quick to assure her that she's neither of those things. Their natural partnership here is just as palpable as when they are dancing - one will start a sentence and the other will finish, and they both constantly watch each other, waiting to see if the other needs help or support. It's truly lovely to be in the room with them.

After having watched them be wildly in love on stage, the energy here is much softer but no less connected - though they've only been together a few months, one gets the sense of a deep sense of shared understanding between the two dancers that will hopefully continue delighting audiences for many seasons to come.

As for what’s next, one needs only to look to the season’s list - the Company’s third show this season will again have them dancing opposite for ‘Sleeping Beauty’ - and we can only assume tickets will sell fast, if the success of Mayerling has been any indication. ”

Tab put down the magazine and gave Dick a long, long look as he paused and met Tab’s eye in the mirror behind the barre. “It’s a very nice article,” Dick allowed. Tab huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Where’s Lew? Has he read this?”

“Probably,” Dick allowed, going back to his stretches. Tab was already back on his phone, taking yet another photo of the magazine spread.

#ballet au #utter nonsense #wexhappyxfew #asked and answered

[silentwalrus1]

For the commentary thingy: "'...He called to tell me I should have pulled him into this last week. Then I asked him for weapons and money.' Which Tony is all too happy to give, if it’s for one of his alien-fighting buddies who eat shawarma together once and never call again." Or really anything about how you write Tony because I really like your interpretation of him and I'd love to know how you got there. I love your writing and art so much! Thank you for creating!!!!

when iron man came out in 2009 (i think 2009??) i really loved it - from being such an incredibly fun movie to the fuckin FLYING METAL ARMOR SUIT, HELL YES. i read a lot of avengers fic from 2009-12 and got exposed to a lot of different characterizations of tstark, a lot of which were informed (i assume) by the comics which ive never read. personally, i’m not thrilled per se with how i executed ithlyn tony - i largely used him as ex machina + package deal that came with rhodey - but i’m glad his appearance resonated!  

in general, though, i depart entirely from canon, partly bc it’s butchered his character so badly and partly bc a deep dive on tstark would be.... like, okay, if i take it seriously, we’re going to get a character that i don’t have a lot of interest in exploring. he’s a badly spoiled billionaire trying to right his wrongs and while he gets a lot of it right - GREEN ENERGY, CHANGING INDUSTRY - he gets a lot of other things wrong. and much like in real life, i’m not interested in midwifing a man through his journey to not being an oblivious asshole 

that said, i AM doing a deep dive on pepper potts, who i find to be a much more fascinating character - she occupies, ostensibly, the same position tony does, only she’s a woman. i refuse to believe that potts doesn’t have at least SOME engineering background, and you bet your bippy she taught herself more the further she went in stark industries (also? she’s not a PA. that just is not possible. she’s chief of staff equivalent, PAs cannot become CEOs even in marvel verse, it’s just - the worst decision ever, i am excising it from canon, potts was never a PA ever for anyone). 

so while i have to admit i’ve never fleshed out tstark too deeply, i have thought a lot about him in relation to potts - essentially, why is potts with him? they care about each other, and clearly stark has to be bringing SOMETHING to the table for potts to be willing to tie herself to that personally as well as professionally. And i refuse to do the whole “ohh she mommies him, she explains to him How People Work, she does every ounce of emotional labor and runs cleanup for him whenever he DGAF’s people around him”. firstly, tstark knows damn well how people work, hes not an idiot, and secondly, i won’t demean potts like that, and thirdly, what a boring fucking relationship that would be. what an utter misery to write!! what a tired misogynistic trope!!! 

so yeah, i’m gonna say that potts and stark are a couple of born-rich assholes, they’re both richer than god, they’re both insane workaholics, they bitch incessantly to each other, they shop, they appreciate the finer things, they make each other laugh. they are INSUFFERABLE snobs, they both do insane rich people shit like weird diets and cryotherapy or whatever and they are the only people theyve met who can keep up with each other, tit for tat, not just in intelligence, expertise and pursuits but also in personality. tstark gave potts the leg up she needed bc he is a himbo but values competence over gender & recognizes and promotes talent/skill; potts actually loves doing all the structural and organizational and social company running shit that tstark rather wouldnt do. they are both, objectively, the kind of person who thinks nothing of 36 hour work days, has the mercenary confidence of the rich-from-birth, sports an entire walk-in closet of fake personalities and an even bigger warehouse of issues. Nice people? sure, when they decide to be. 

potts, swallowing an entire palmful of inch-long vitamins dry while on a headset conference call listening to a SME report on nanotech while doing 20 mph on her specially designed soulcycle: yes - yes - wonderful, thank you, gary - great, let’s turn it over to nasreen - [HITS MUTE] tony when are you going to hire a project manager that can tell a pym particle from a pancreas, i told you a thousand times - jesus fuck i better lose these last six ounces before the fucking met gala - 

stark, on his back on the floor, carefully smearing scented beeswax around his arc reactor from a $1,200 home chest waxing kit while trying to finish a line of code by poking at a holo-keyboard with his left big toe: can you at least TELL ME when you’re on mute so i can turn dictation on, jarvis, quick, take this down - 

jarvis: [reroutes pepper’s call so it’s on the suite sound system and they all experience gary at 200 decibels]

#dvd commentary #writing meme #i cant deny the past few years of canon and fanon interpretation of tstark have soured me a bit #on his character #it's disappointing to see him so shoehorned into woobieness #and made deliberately dumber #and shittier #there's a lot of fun you can have with a tstark character! #he's very useful! #but these days hes way more interesting as a complement to potts and rhodes #Anonymous