#but im not gonna lie and say that im already instinctively curling in on myself about it

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 9

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -3.9k. -this may look like a love triangle but ill do my best not to turn it into one. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- IF YOU WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THIS IS UPDATED, I THOUGHT I COULD START A TAG LIST SO LET ME KNOW. IF YOU’D RATHER ME NOTICED IN PRIVATE, MESSAGE ME TOO PLEASE!

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 9 : Her chapter

Olivia

We left at the end of the afternoon and we had to go with three different cars because of how many of us were going. I was a bit stressed to spend a few days with many people I barely knew but I was trying to convince myself it was a great way to actually get to know them, even if I knew I was mostly the kind of person who'd stick with the friends she already had and follow them everywhere. I also knew Harry and Niall would most likely chat with everyone and i'd have to settle in as well as I could.

I was stuck in a car with Harry, his sister Gemma, and Maya, making me wonder exactly why she was not in the same car as Niall, who was riding with Liam and Julie. In the last car, Louis was driving his girlfriend Eleonor, his sister Lottie and El's best friend Max, whom I was seeing for the first time. I didn't know the girls well but I had a few conversations with them and, if i wanted to be honest, I sort of really wanted them to accept me. It was fun hanging out with boys but I missed the company of girls sometimes, and I felt like discussing with these girls could be helpful, especially in my situation.

Gemma had proposed i'd sit in the front seat next to Harry and I suspected her to know about the weird relationship between her brother and I. It was getting to the point where it was becoming awkward because everyone knew about it even if nothing had happened yet. It's not that I didn't want to, because I did, but knowing it was threatening my friendship with Niall was stressful to me. Why did I have to choose between them?

"You okay?" Harry whispered, glancing at me with a frown.

He seemed genuinely worried and I liked that side of him that took care of me and always wanted to make sure I was at ease.

"Mmhm, yes."

The truth was, I kept glancing at the backseat where Maya was sitting. I didn't understand why Niall was interested in Heidi, but I could totally understand why he wanted to have sex with Maya. Not only was she gorgeous, but she also seemed kind and smart. It annoyed me more than I wanted to admit and I was extremely jealous of everything she was. I never enjoyed having any kind of attention focused on me except when it came to Niall and just admitting that to myself made me grimace.

I felt Harry's hand on my shoulder and my eyes found his again. Clearly, he had interpreted my grimace while looking at Maya as hatred or at least strong dislike because his fingertips brushed down my arm and grabbed my hand, giving it a quick but tight squeeze before he intertwined them with my fingers. It took me by surprise and I felt my heart jump in my chest. I suddenly realized we were parked and when I looked at the mirror again, I noticed we were alone in the car.

"I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have invited her." he apologized, staring at me.

I felt my lips curl and shook my head slightly. I didn't want him to think I was mad at him or disappointed, and I surely didn't want him to think I had harsh feelings toward Maya. It was no one's fault but mine, and it was also my problem.

"No, she's cool." I said with a shrug as my eyes found her outside, chatting with Gemma. "And... hot."

"Is she?" he smiled, his eyes never leaving me. "I didn't notice."

This time, I burst into laughter and his smile grew. I was pretty sure even blind people could see how hot she was and thinking that a guy like Harry wouldn't have noticed wasn't only laughable, it was also impossible.

"Alright, i'm gonna have to wear a shirt 'i'm with stupid' when you're around."

"I'll gladly be your stupid."

I looked up at him again but my smile turned into a fond one. It was such a Harry thing to say and I liked it. I held my breath when I saw his gaze travel to my lips and without thinking, I licked them.

"You're pretty, you know that, right?" Harry asked in a whisper, his eyes roaming on my face.

No, I didn't. No, I was not. But I decided not to answer at all. I could feel my cheeks burn and I swallowed, tilting my head. I was speechless but I couldn't hide that I enjoyed the way he was looking at me, and how it seemed like I was the most important person in the room, no matter who else was present. It was just something Harry did that made it easy to be around him.

"Come on, people will start talking." I pointed out with a quick head movement.

"Let them." he just replied but still got out of the car a few seconds after I did.

We joined everyone who were either looking inside the lodge by the sliding door, or checking the amazing view of the lake from the patio. I pushed both my hands deep in my pockets and followed Harry as he took out the keys and unlocked the door. Someone rushed to the bathroom while some others walked through the halls, picking up a room. Everyone seemed busy around us but Harry turned to me and this time, sent me a shy smile.

"Look, I understand if you refuse, and please feel at ease to say no, but I thought maybe, we could share a room?"

I felt my heart jump up my throat, threatening to come out, but I pretended it didn't affect me. It's not that I didn't want to share a room with Harry but I was convinced it was a bad idea. I looked around and my eyes found Niall, who was bringing his bags with him. I waited until he was closer and when he noticed me, he sent me a smile and walked up to us.

"Hey, did you pick a room already? I'd like to drop me stuff." he asked, making the stress fade from my whole body all at once. "Any is fine, i'm not picky."

Niall was very picky but I kept that comment to myself and shrugged to Harry gently before turning back to my best friend again.

"Not yet, pick the one you prefer."

He felt the awkwardness as his eyes moved from me to Harry and then back at me. He finally just nodded and disappeared in the hall as I turned back to Harry.

"Sorry, I just sort of told Niall..." it was a lie. "Actually, we never really ask, we just assume that we're in the same room. It's just how it is."

I had to be honest with Harry. He was aware of the kind of relationship Niall and I had, but I also wanted him to know that Niall would always remain my best friend, no matter what. At least, that's what I hoped for.

"Hey, it's okay, I understand." he quickly added. "You share a room with Niall, and it's too soon anyway. Maybe an other time."

My mind instinctively tried to pair people and I felt nauseous. Who exactly would end up sharing a room with Harry? Would it be Maya? And If I had decided to be with Harry, would she share a room with Niall? The worst was that I had no idea which scenario would bother me the most.

"I think I may be alone in a room, actually." he explained, looking around and analyzing everyone, trying to match them in his head. "I thought about my sister but clearly, she's getting along very well with Maya."

I noticed the two girls laughing together, sitting on the couch, and without thinking, I let out a sigh of relief, making Harry chuckle. I turned back to him and felt embarrassed. He knew what I had been thinking and now I just wanted to sink into the floor and never reappear.

"You can always come in my room if you want to hang out or talk or anything."

I was about to answer something when Louis walked past us and put one of his hands on my shoulder.

"You have to see the pool." he let out, making me chuckle low. "We're all going right now."

"Man, my swimming suit is in my bags somewhere."

Louis sent me a cheeky smile and I frowned slightly. I was not going to like his idea, I could feel it.

"You don't need it. Panties and bra is enough." he pointed out. "It's okay if they don't match, love, no one's gonna look."

He paused and his eyes moved to Harry before looking back at me with an even bigger smile.

"Well, almost no one."

I brought my arms closer to me and crossed them over my chest, bringing my shoulders up and close to my cheeks. I didn't know why but his comment made me suddenly self-conscious but he left before I could say anything.

"Hey, you alright?" Harry asked, brushing his fingertips against one of my arms and making me jump a bit while a shiver crossed my back.

"Oh, yea, i'm good."

I stared at my feet a few seconds until I heard Harry tell me to follow him. We walked to the backyard and I noticed most people were already in the swimming pool. It was a very hot summer evening and I looked up at the sun slowly setting. I wanted to get in but I didn't want to undress and when I heard the sound of water splash near me, I saw Harry emerge, pushing his hair away from his face. His eyes found mine and he smiled, raising his eyebrows. I knew he wanted me to join him but I hated this situation. All the girls present had amazing bodies and I was well aware I didn't compare and never would. It was not only my weight that bothered me, but also all the imperfections on my skin that none of them seemed to have.

I breathed in and took my converse off along with my socks and quickly, I did the same with my pants, sitting on the side of the pool and sliding my legs in the water. It was cold and I shivered again. It was a miracle I had taken my pants off but I was definitely going to keep my shirt on. I knew no one was really looking at me or judging me but I was so tensed I almost screamed when once again, I felt Harry's fingers against my knee. I thought he was going to ask me why I didn't take my shirt off but he simply moved between my legs and looked up at me with a smile.

"So, how do you like it here?"

"I didn't visit every room but the view is perfect." I stated with a smile before I realized I was staring at him.

His lips curled into a cheeky grin and he raised his eyebrows.

"Thank you."

I opened my mouth to argue and correct myself but stopped immediately and pressed my lips back together. He did look perfect, I didn't need to take back my statement at all. We stared at each other for a while and I finally smiled at him.

"You're welcome."

He laughed, this time putting his whole hand on my knee and making my whole body throb. The sensation spread all over me as I looked at his palm pressed on my skin, warming me completely. It made me realize how bad I actually wanted Harry to touch me and I felt my cheeks turn red at the thought. I heard his phone and turned my head to look at his pants, laying next to me with the rest of his clothes, except his boxers that he was still wearing to swim. I reached for them and took the phone out, handing it to him. Quickly, he wiped his hands on his shirt and grabbed the phone from my hands, letting a low 'hello' in the receiver. The chat was short and he walked away from me, using the stairs to get out of the pool right before out eyes met. He sent me a sorry face and showed me his forefinger, letting me know it wouldn't be too long before finally disappearing inside.

I exhaled and closed my eyes, thinking about the way his fingers had moved gently on me and about how bad I wanted him to touch me again. It made me realize that I hadn't done anything sexual in so long, not even kissing, and I missed it. I missed feeling close to someone even if, I had to admit, the flirting was quite fun, too.

I breathed in deeply and dared to open my eyes again, the sight making me hold my breath again. Niall was facing me and leaning against the other side of the pool. He looked amazing. His wet hair falling on his forehead was almost long enough to hide one of his eyes and he put his hands behind himself, on the side of the pool, to push his body up. I felt like everything was in slow motion when my eyes traveled from his wet chest down to his boxers. They were sticking to his thighs but the waist band was low, his v-line was apparent, and I had a hard time looking away from the obvious bulge it was showing.

I swallowed my lust but also the guilt I felt as I stared at my best friend. I had thought about Niall this way very often and it was clearly not the first time I was seeing him almost naked, but the feelings I had for him were amplifying no matter how hard I was trying to suppress them. I hated myself and I was so mad  I couldn't control it that I closed my eyes again, but the image of Niall moving out of the pool in slow motion was torturing me behind my eyelids like it was engraved on my retina forever. I groaned after a few seconds and opened my eyes, quickly getting up. My heart stopped in my chest when I almost bumped into him and I sighed of relief.

"Shit, you scared me." I admitted, my eyes fluttering open.

"Where are you going?"

I looked in his eyes but he was frowning and I couldn't help but wonder if he had noticed the way I was looking at him.

"I'm just... I'm a bit tired." I lied. "I think i'm gonna nap until dinner."

"Where's Harry?"

My eyes fell on his wet chest and I grimaced at the feeling it was giving me. When my gaze met his again, I realized he probably thought my grimace was an answer to his question.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Someone called him and he left."

I knew he had many questions to ask but I didn't want him to talk. I had always thought that having sex with Niall would ruin our friendship but at that exact moment, I wanted it more than I thought I ever would. More than I should.

"I'm sorry, did you plan on sharing a room with him and I ruined it again?"

"Mm?"

I tried to focus on his words but the way my body was throbbing was distracting me and I cleared my throat as he raised his eyebrows.

"No, no." I denied with a shrug and a small smile. "I didn't want to share a room with Harry. We haven't even kissed yet I mean, sharing a bed seems like a big step."

I knew he was about to answer something but I quickly cut him. I didn't want to talk about Harry at this moment, and I didn't know how long I could stay close to Niall without exploding.

"I'm sorry." I quickly added. "I'm really tired. I'll see you at dinner yea? Keep me a spot next to you."

Without waiting for his answer, I walked inside, leaving my pants on the side of the pool and rushing to the hall, cursing mentally when I remembered I had no idea which room Niall had picked for us. I checked a few and finally saw his bag in one, sighing when I noticed there was only one bed. Of course, I was used to sleeping in the same bed as my best friend but for some odd reason, the intimacy was scaring me a bit at this point.

I closed the door behind me and sat on the bed, rubbing both of my hands on my face a few times. I had always been in love with Niall for as long as I could remember and I did lust him but why was it hitting me so hard when I was surrounded by people and when I was so close to have a real boyfriend. It felt like the love I have for my best friend was fighting against the potential relationship I clearly could develop with Harry.

I sighed loud and took place in the middle of the bed, leaning against the pillows. The bed was comfortable and I knew I would have no problem falling asleep in it but the throbbing was now localized between my legs and I was well aware it wouldn't leave before I did something about it. I was also bothered by the thought of Niall in the pool and I just wanted this image to leave my mind.

Reluctantly, I brought my hand up and slipped it in my panties. It felt awkward to do that in a house full of my friends and in a room I didn't know but it was stronger than me. I slipped two fingers on my slit and twitched at the feeling when the tips brushed against my clit. When was the last time someone touched me? When was the last time I touched myself? It was not so easy to do it on tour with a bunch of guys who were not always familiar with the word 'privacy' and since I came back, I had spent all my time with Niall. It was definitely a few weeks ago. As for the last time someone actually touched me, I couldn't remember at all.

"Oh my god." I whispered, already feeling close to an orgasm after only a minute or two.  "Fuck."

I should have seen it coming, but I didn't. I should have locked the door, but I didn't. And when it flung open, I jumped in bed exactly as the same time as my heart jumped on my chest.

"Shit, i'm sorry!"

"Holy fucki-hell!"

I tried to get up but one of my feet got stuck in the sheets of the bed and I fell down, the carpet fortunately softening my falling. I remained laying on the floor, my eyes closed, an other kind of throbbing sensation invading me. This time, I was embarrassed in a way I had never been in my life. I knew Niall was on the other side of the bed, waiting for me to get up, but I didn't want to face him, at least not now.

"Liv? Are you okay?"

He was a few seconds away from getting close to check if I was hurt and the thought scared me.

"I'm fine!" I quickly replied. "Please, leave!"

Silence. A heavy silence that seemed to last an hour.

"I'm so.. look, i'm so sorry, I should have knocked." he tried explaining. "I just didn't want to wake you up and-"

"It's fine!" I cut him again, talking a bit too loud. "Now could you please just leave?"

"Mm, yea, i'll just... grab a few things..."

I heard him grab his bag and unzip it, rummaging through it probably to find clean and dry clothes. I closed my eyes and shook my head, knowing I should have anticipated that and hating myself for not expecting it. What was I thinking, masturbating while so many people could just walk in on me?

"Okay, I'm leaving, I'll let you finish-."

This time, he stopped talking himself and let out a short chuckle at his own words.

"I mean, i'll let you nap." he rectified himself. "I'm really sorry Liv."

When I heard the door close behind him, I groaned and hit my head a few times on the floor, feeling the carpet rub slightly on my forehead. I was an idiot and I had no idea how i'd be able to look at Niall again. I breathed in and tried to reason myself and rationalize what had happened. Niall was my best friend and something so futile, even if extremely humiliating, could never break out friendship. Proof was, I had caught him masturbating too when we were young and it didn't change anything between us. In fact, it had probably brought us even closer, and I could only hope this incident was going to do the same thing.

I sighed again to give me some courage and got up only to let myself fall back in the bed. I pushed on the sheets with my feet and rolled a bit, pulling the covers and bringing them over me. I was about to fall asleep when I heard someone knock at the door. My heart jumped in my chest when I thought it was probably Niall and I kept quiet until the person knocked again.

"Olivia?"

I recognized Harry's low and soft voice and my lips curled while my stress fell.

"Come in." I answered in a whisper.

The light from the hall was now on and it made a halo glow around him. That thought made me smile and he walked closer, handing me my phone and my pants. I grabbed them and thanked him, tilting my head on the side. I knew Niall had not told him what had happened but I couldn't help to feel embarrassed anyway.

"Thanks, Harry."

"No problem." he answered in a breath. "Are you hungry? I made pastas."

The more I looked at him, the lighter I felt. I couldn't stay locked in this room forever anyway, I had to go there and talk with people, that was part of why I actually came here. I nodded and sent him an other smile.

"Thanks, give me five minutes and i'll be there."

He took a step back and nodded, his lips curled in a large smile.

"Take your time, no rush." he just said. "I'll keep you a place next to me."

I opened my lips to answer but he had already turned around and closed the door behind himself. It was the second time in only a few hours that I seemed to be stuck between Harry and Niall and I hated to choose, but I had the feeling it would happen a lot more and If there was one thing I was sure of, it was that I didn't want to pick between them. I wanted them both in my life. I was just scared it would result in losing both.

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fic #niall horan writing #harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fic #harry styles story #harry styles writing #idk what else to tag that but hey its nothing new lol #my fanfics

[rosenburg-lia]

What Does One Even Do?

WHAT? —  Lia has Vanessa over to discuss her situation.

WHEN? —   saturday night, april 4th

TRIGGERS? —  pregnancy

FEATURING —  Vanessa Montgomery ( @thevmontgomery ) mentions of Drew Torres and Tori Santamaria

lia: I cant be a mom, I barely even know how to take care of myself. One of the thoughts that swirled through Lias brain over the last hour. Still sat on the side of the bathtub, the pregnancy test laid on the sink. Her elbow resting on her knee as her focused trained on a specific spot on the floor. Her only move since she had seen the test was to grab her phone and text Vanessa. How the fuck does one even begin to take care of a kid? Taking a deep breath as she stood on shaky legs, collecting the test and her phone as she walked out of the bathroom. She couldnt even grab her usual vices to deal with the anxiety raking her body. Her body felt almost empty, her mind filled to the brim, but as she sat on the couch, wrapping herself in a ball, her hands instinctively fell to her stomach.

Vanessa: It was like her mind got a jump start reading Lia's message. Most of her messages went unnoticed, read, but unnoticed. There wasn't any reason she felt the need to see or speak to everyone all things considering, but Vanessa couldn't leave Lia at a time like this. Vanessa remembered going through all this alone. She remembered staring at the test, having no idea who to call and sitting in a dark room for days by herself. Vanessa wasn't going to let Lia go through that. As soon as she reached Luke and Lia's apartment, she moved straight through the house, finding Lia immediately and wrapping her arms around the girl. Was it for her comfort or the other girl's? It didn't matter, they both needed someone right now.

lia: she allowed herself to be engulfed by vanessa. the tears already falling from her eyes as she felt her arms around her. "I fucked up V," She choked out, "I cant be a mom," She spoke, glancing up to meet her gaze. She was grateful she had Vanessa in her life, even in whatever drama she was going through that made her leave town, she was still there when Lia needed her. But it would take some time for Lia, nothing was processing just feeling like facts floating through the air.

Vanessa: "you didn't fuck up, Lia," vanessa replied softly. it was all flushing back to her remembering this moment for herself. distraught on the floor feeling time collapsing. vanessa rubbed her friend's back, trying to provide whatever comfort she could bring. "we're going to get through this okay? together, i'm not going to let you do this alone."

liaa: "yea i did," She mumbled, her mind flashing through the memories of what shed done. Her night with Drew, telling Tori and subsequently losing her for now, and now this. "I cant let you say that without knowing the whole story," She sighed running her fingers through her hair. "The father is Drew," She spoke softly, "And I dont know what the fuck to do.."

Vanessa: it took everything in vanessa to pull herself together. she took a deep breath, "look, drew is an idiot, but he's gone through this before and i promise you he's going to do the right thing when you tell him, but i'm telling you you're going to have to tell him. you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't." she paused, feeling a little choked up about her own situation. vanessa stood up, and grabbing her friend's hand to sit on the tub rail. "we're going to go to the doctor and confirm how far along you are, but listen no impulsive thinking, no drinking, no smoking, no sleeping around, /nothing/."

liaa: her brows scrunched together at vanessas words, "What do you mean hes been through this before?" A sigh as she listened to her words, "I know, I plan on telling him. I will tell him," She paused before mumbling out, "eventually," Her eyes meeting vanessas as she spoke, nodding with her words, "I know, Im really sad too because I picked up a nice eighth," She chuckled, "Kidding...sort of," She sighed, "Im not sleeping around V, I never really have. Im taking this seriously, gonna read all the books and articles. Figure out my choices,"

liaa: "I dont even want to think about how Ill look pregnant, let alone if I have a kid," She spoke, "But I need to know everything, ya know?"

Vanessa: looked down, knowing she had to tell Lia eventually, after all that was the whole reason she came here. "At the end of Freshman year, I found out I was pregnant. He was there for me like with everything. He drove me to all my doctors appointments, let me stay over his place whenever my father got too much, even went on 2 am runs for me to get chinese and crap. And god, did that boy love my son with all his heart," she paused, her voice growing a little weak, but forcing some strength once she looked back to Lia. "He did right by me and he didn't even have to. With you, he's gonna give you and that baby the world if you let him," Vanessa explained. "We don't have to worry about any of that right now. What we need to worry about is you."

liaa: Her eyes widened, but she stayed silent, her brain did not however. The dots connecting in her head when Drew would disappear at times, realizing it was to go visit vanessa, to support her. A fond smile coming to her face as she thought about the boy, even as a best friend, he had been in dad mode from the jump. A part of her feeling warm knowing he wouldnt shove her away, or at least she hoped. "Im scared. Not worried, or nervous. But scared," She spoke, "Its terrifying to know that this has been growing in me, that someone is in there. Not just my organs anymore. I cant just go buckwild when I want because I want. My whole life is getting twisted V,"

Vanessa: "Come on, Li," Vanessa spoke softly. She wasn't going to let her friend be down on herself. She offered her hand out, "I'm gonna do for you what I wish someone would have done for me." Vanessa walked slowly, leading the girl back towards Lia's room and guiding her towards her bed. "Get in. Right now it's the size of a lima-bean at best. All this worrying is going to hurt you more than worrying will hurt the bean."

liaa: She smiled softly, taking her hand, following her through the apartment to her room. "V, its not my place, but did everyone know about your pregnancy? Or just drew?" She asked, "I dont think I want everybody, even the close ones, knowing," pulling the covers of her bed up, curling into them as she laid in the bed. "Ive grown up on worry, I think I can survive,"

Vanessa: pulled out her phone, her home screen showing a photo of Rocky and Vanessa sitting by a Christmas tree with matching smiles that took up their whole faces. "Drew's the only person who knew he was my son for a really long time, like almost three years now. Everyone else just assumed he was my little brother," she explained. "You only have to tell who you want to. I didn't even tell the father until a few months ago. Everyone isn't entitled to your life," she added. Vanessa laid in bed besides her friend, hoping that she was somehow helping. "You've gotta more than survive now."

liaa: Lia smiled as she saw the photo, "Hes adorable V," Listening as Vanessa spoke, her heart warming at the thought of Drew and Rocky interacting. "Im sure youre a great mom," She spoke softly, "Is Dallas the dad? Or did timelines overlap?" She asked, raising a brow, her tone void of all judgment and just interested in the part of her best friend she didnt know. "Why did it have to be Drew? Why couldnt it be Owen or Luke? Did God just wanna send a big fuck you my way? Want to ruin my relationship with Tori?" She sighed, "Or was it karma for not being honest with T from the gun? About everything.."

Vanessa: 's head dropped. She wasn't going to worry Lia about everything going her tragic motherhood. She wasn't a great mother, but that wasn't something she wanted to get into now. "Overlap," Vanessa said lowly. "Hence, me not telling the father until just a while ago." She knew it was wrong and saying it out loud made it all sound ghetto and fucked up, but that was her life. "Drew is not the worst person to have as your baby's father. Luke and Owen are not promised to step up, Drew will," Vanessa explained. "Have you told Tor he's the father yet?"

liaa: She nodded, "Thats fair, and at least you didnt have to lie to someone and or tell them you were wrong or something," She shrugged, "I didnt say he was, thats the issue. Hes perfect, the type to step up and actually support your decisions," She scoffed lightly, "She didnt even hear me out about sleeping with him, I dont think i can ever tell her im pregnant V," Looking at her friend with sad eyes, "It was like she was looking through me after I said it. I dont ever wanna see that look from her again,"

Vanessa: "I don't really wanna talk about Rocky's father if that's okay with you," Vanessa replied, not going too much into the subject. Her son was a sore spot for Vanessa, but the father situation was a whole different kind of pain. "Lia... You don't have to have this baby, you know that right?" Vanessa replied, her words slow so they could actually sink in. "I'm not on anyone's side! But you did sleep with her ex, you couldn't have expected her to just be calm and take that news like a champ. There's very few exes she cares about and you knew Drew was one of them..."

liaa: "Not a problem," She spoke with a nod. She knew better than to try and push Vanessa to talk about whats going on in her head. Turning towards her, a small smile, "I know. Im planning on looking at all options, even the ones that not everyone agrees with," A small shrug following her words, before she went silent. Listening to V speak, knowing she was more than correct in her words. "Its not that I expected her to be calm, but at least hear me out. She just defensive and harsh, which is fair, but i did expect some conversation about it," A small sigh as she ran her fingers through her hair, "its not like I meant to sleep with him V. I didnt hang out with him that night intending to see what his dick looked like, it just happened," Shaking her head lightly, "And I know its not an excuse, but its the truth. It wasnt planned, it wasnt like we ever intended on doing it. The plan was to be friends. Nothing more, nothing less, and now here we are,

Vanessa: "When have you ever known Tori to be much of a talker?" Vanessa replied playfully, shaking her head. "Okay ew! He's my best friend. I really really don't wanna talk about his dick! Whatever reason you had for hanging out with him is your business, but you've got to know that something was going to come from it. Drew too, but look we're not going to worry about that right now. Right now you need to get some sleep. All this worrying and back and forth isn't going to make this easier on you or really anyone involved."

liaa: "We've always been friends V, chaos comes to both of us, its enjoyable together," She shrugged, "I had never planned on being anything with him /after/ he got with Tori," She spoke, "All I know how to do is worry, especially when everything seems to be falling apart at the seams," It was true, everything she had known, was crumbling around her. Leaving her by herself in the storm, hanging onto Vanessa for dear life. "I just want it to be easier, but it wont be. And I know that,"

Vanessa: "You just gotta give her time, but you've also gotta be okay with the fact that she might never forgive you either," Vanessa explained, as much as she didn't want to think it would happen––Vanessa knew her best friend. "Whatever you decide to do, you know I'm gonna be by your side," Vanessa replied, interlocking her had with Lia's. "I wish I could tell you things are going to be easier, I really wish I could," she added softly. She'd be lying to saying anything about it, Vanessa knew /not/ knowing was always the easiest part. "It won't get better, you'll get better."

liaa: "I know, and I accept that. As much as it hurts, I know that she has that right. I betrayed her trust," She shrugged, "But shes always been there, i hate thinking about her not being here," A smile as she felt Vs hand in hers, "I appreciate you so much. For not judging more, or at least expressing it, and for being here. I know youve gone through something recently, and we dont got to talk about it. But it means something to me that your here right now," She spoke, an honest tone in her voice. "But youd be lying," She nodded, "Ive been told that for a while now. Seems like false hope,"

Vanessa: "Don't beat on yourself too much. We both know our girl can be a little dramatic," Vanessa explained. The last thing she wanted to do was be in the middle of this with all her closest friends involved, but Vanessa knew that everyone would be at each other's throats if she didn't stick her nose in it. "Lia, I got pregnant at 14 and became a teen mom at 15, I'm the last person who is ever going to judge you," Vanessa said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of Lia's face. "You know I'd be here for you baby, *but* if you do this dumb shit with Dallas I will put nair in your shampoo," Vanessa teased, wanting to lighten the situation. "You know I got you, pumpkin," she added, resting besides Lia.

liaa: "We all can be, and thats the real issue," She joked, "we all are dramatic bitches and most of the time it works for us," She knew that calling V automatically put her in the middle. It wasnt her intention, she genuinely just needed the girl. "I hope you know I understand if you decide being a part of all this drama is to much. I wouldnt be mad," She spoke, a small shrug at the end of her words, "Youre a strong person V. I know a lot of people dont tell you that, or praise you on other things. But going through what you did at that age, its tough for me now, i cant imagine three years ago," A small smile at Vanessas touch, "I would never with Dallas, hes like a big brother," She chuckled, "Can I admit something to you?" Her eyes turning to find Vanessa in the small light her side lamp gave off.

Vanessa: "I'm not dramatic! I'm just use to a certain lifestyle and anything outside that will be met with outing and tears," Vanessa joked back. She was going to be involved whether Lia called or not. "If you hadn't had called me, one of them would have." Drew would have called or even Tori. Somehow Vanessa always found out. Her head dropped somewhat, a long breath following before looking back to Lia. She didn't feel all too strong, the compliment falling somewhat on deaf ears. "Yeah, what is it?"

liaa: "Yea, not dramatic at all," She spoke sarcastically shaking her head lightly. "You arent wrong," She shrugged lightly, before her hand came up to play with my necklace. "Remember that guy i was into before tori and drew got together?" She questioned, turning slightly to look at V.

Vanessa: "Luke?" Vanessa asked raising an eyebrow. "Or does this have to do with those nice little Tiffany's necklaces you have for each day of the week?"

liaa: She chuckled lightly, "Ive always been into Luke, but its more of a sexual attraction than romantic i think," A small shrug, "And the necklaces are a whole different story for a different time," She rolled her eyes teasingly, "But seriously, again, youre the first person im admitting this to," She spoke before a deep sigh, "The guy was Drew, I had feelings for Drew. But then he got with Tori, and I distanced myself. Allowing the feelings to leave so they could be happy,"

Vanessa: "Plus Fiona would have your head if you tried anything that resembled a serious relationship," Vanessa teased. Her mouth dropped open wide, shockingly surprised at Lia's confession, though if Vanessa was using all her brain cells she could have known. "Amelia Jane Rosenburg!"

liaa: "Bitch I can take Fiona Coyne, shes not as big and bad as she pretends," She chuckled lightly, but knew that there was truth lingered within her words. No one that ends up with Luke or Fiona will compare to them for each other, and Lia wasnt gonna compete with that. "I know I know! But I did the right thing! I wasnt a bitch about it!"

Vanessa: "She will literally /buy/ you! Shit, I'd let her buy me if it weren't for her brother being the hotter Coyne," Vanessa joked. "Plus you can't fight people like Fiona Coyne, they press charges and then run to their men acting like you beat them or something then Luke's just gonna end up mad at you." She would never understand the girl's desire with the eldest Baker, but then again Vanessa's conquests never made sense either. "Did he know?"

liaa: "Yea yea yea, ive been told," She rolled her eyes, "I want to fight her. Ive wanted to for a while, not even because of whatever the fuck the relationship between me and Luke is. Shes just not a good person to me," She shrugged, "I dont think he did considering he tried to console me when it was brought up one day,"

Vanessa: "You're not fighting anyone," Vanessa replied, rolling her eyes playfully. "Do you want to be with him still? Like forget the bean in your belly and Tori, do you actually want to be with Drew?"

liaa: "I want to fight someone, but i can not right now," She spoke, a small shrug. Her eyes looking at the ceiling a she thought over vanessas question. "Yes," She answered, "Hes amazing V, in every sense. Sure hes made some dumb choices, we all have, but god that kid has a heart of gold," A sense of honesty in her tone as she spoke, "He makes the hard seem easy just by coexisting with me if I need him. Hes always willing to distract me or talk shit out with me. When weve gone out hes fought dudes for me because they cant take no," She chuckled lightly, "I want it V, i really really want it,"

Vanessa: "Then you know what you need to do," Vanessa nodded. She knew this was going to be a ride if they were to actually get together, but if Lia was happy Tori would have to come around at some point right? "My mama use to say everything's going to be okay in the end, if it's not okay.. it's not the end."

liaa: "I need to run to alaska and change my name," She spoke with an affirming head nod. Smiling at her words, "Your mom seems like a smart lady. My mom is a cunt," She shrugged with a small chuckle, "Can we just cuddle and sleep? Im done thinking about this,"

#vanessa. #barbie girl💫 plastics #tw:pregnancy

[greennightspider]

The Cabin in the Snow (Chapter 2)

M’Baku x OC (Akari)

Summary: M’Baku and Akari get stuck in a snowstorm in a cabin during an assignment. What’s a couple of Jabari warriors to do? This fic is based on M’Baku a short time before he became the leader of the Jabari Tribe. 

Authors Note: Hunniiiiies I am playing the long game with this one so lemme know if you wanna be tagged or untagged in future chapters I do not mind. But just in case the notification apocalypse is still going ill try and update chapter links to make things easier. :D Enjoy!

Chapter 1 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

@readsalot73 @skysynclair19

“Huh?”

 “You heard me Akari.” M’Baku moved slowly towards her with strong, deliberate steps. “Undress.”

 “Woah woah woah woah.” Akari may have been a little out of it due to the onset of hypothermia, but she hadn’t lost ALL sense. “M’Baku look, you’re great and all but I don’t think this is the right ti-

“Now Akari. I will not ask again.”

Akari gulped at his tone. She decided that despite everything that annoyed her about his everyday demeanour, she actually did like jokester M’Baku better than serious M’Baku. And she would give anything right now for him to crack into his signature smile and say he was kidding.

No such luck.

“M’Baku wait-

“Akari, you look like a chocolate popsicle. And I think you are most likely in the final stages of hypothermia. You need to undress so that we can warm you up, just like we were taught in class.”

Of course M’Baku would remember that class out of all the things they had learned.

Of course all of the boys paid attention when the teacher started talking about how the best way to treat someone with hypothermia is through body heat. Which of course worked best when both people were naked. 

Akari distinctly remembered M'Baku hollering the loudest that class. Surrounded by his boys, M'Baku was leaning back in his chair with elbows outstretched towards the desk behind him, almost in a throne-like position. They had all started laughing and howling the signature Jabari growl as the teacher tried to calm them down to no avail. Akari rolled her eyes and glared at him and his posse from her seat in the front corner of the room, while she noted most of the girls who belonged to his fan club giggling and trying not to look eager.

However, there was no sign of that M'Baku now. Right now he looked as straight-faced as ever, his onyx eyes filled with concern and worry. Which meant she probably looked in really bad shape.

Akari relented, slowly standing up and unwrapping the blanket around her. M'Baku outstretched his hand but realized his mistake when Akari drew back and stuttered out “I-Im fine M'Baku I can do it myself.”

For all of her usual strong demeanour, M'Baku couldn’t help this shy bashful Akari peaked his interest. And if things weren’t intriguing enough, M'Baku couldn’t hide his expression….when he saw Akari’s clothes hit the floor.

She was wearing a plain black sports bra and matching boyshorts, however they did nothing but accentuate her already full curves. Her nipples were already peaking through the tight fabric because of the cold, but also because Akari was sporting a full chest that she had usually kept hidden under loose clothing. Her hips flared out into her underwear that sat on her thick thighs, and M'Baku almost swore at the sight of her. He knew he was probably the only guy in their class. Her big brown eyes weren’t helping as they stared at him so innocently, however her chattering teeth and blue lips brought him back to reality.

Reign it in Baku, reign it in.

“Akari, I know you might not like what I’m going to say, but you’re going to have to take your bra off too.”

“What??!”

“Look Akari, body heat is the only way we are going to make sure you don’t end up frozen to death, and your bra is in the way.” he explained, gesturing to her chest. “Its gonna need to come off if I’m going to heat you up properly.”

“Oh don’t worry, you’re doing a fine job of that already.” She snarked.

Wait. What did she just say?

“Huh?” Akari responded, as M'Baku didn’t realise he’d said what he did out loud. But seeing that Akari couldn’t even keep track of the conversation, there was no time for discussion.

“Please Akari just get into the bed and then take your bra off under the covers. I promise I won’t look.” M'Baku pleaded. He couldn’t believe he was actually begging a woman to get into bed with him. One who was half delusional and was still giving him a hard time.

Squinting her eyes at M'Baku and holding her shoulders Akari sauntered towards the bed, almost diving under the covers like a molerat. He watched as she wiggled and squirmed under the covers most ungracefully until finally an arm popped out, holding a bra.

M'Baku took it and placed the soaked fabric beside their clothes that he draped over the benches near the fire. They both only had one set of clothes since this wasn’t supposed to be an overnight mission, therefore they needed to dry their clothes overnight so that they’d at least have something to wear tomorrow.

M'Baku then made his way back to the bed and grabbed the rest of the furs, making sure to spread most of them on her side before diving under the covers himself.

While Akari was doing her utmost best to try and curl herself up under the furs into a shy ball, M'Baku was having none of it. This girl was his partner, and he wasn’t gonna lie and say he didn’t feel guilty about their situation right now. He wasn’t about to let Akari freeze to death just because of a little modesty.

M'Baku slowly shuffled his way towards her so that his stomach grazed her lower back, making her flinch. Slowly but surely he moved his left hand beside her so he was half-towering her, and before Akari could comprehend what was happening he quickly dug into her side, wrapping his arm around her waist and spinning her around. In a shrieking frenzy Akari’s arms unlocked from her chest, but M'Baku took no time in pulling her flush against him so that he couldn’t see anything. And also so that he didn’t have to deal with shy Akari turning into raging Akari.

And Akari would have have struggled if not for the fact that as soon as she touched M'Baku’s skin she realised how cold she actually was. She soon calmed down and to M’Baku’s surprise started to snuggle more into him. When she was finally comfortable M'Bakus left hand was resting on the small of Akari’s lower back, while his right arm cradled her head into himself. Akari had settled on pressing her hands flush against M'Bakus upper body, feeling M’Baku’s heartbeat pulsing into her hand. M'Baku managed to entwine their legs together as he tried to concentrate on warming up the ice cold body in his arms. She was still shivering in his hold which made him instinctively pull her tighter against him, and to his surprise Akari responded by snuggling into him, burying his face into her chest.

For all of M'Bakus level-headedness in this situation, there were some things that M'Baku couldn’t’ve prepared for. He couldn’t’ve predicted how Akari’s hair would entice him, smelling sweetly of coconuts as her bun lay just below his chin. How Akari’s soft supple curves that lay underneath his fingertips were the complete opposite of his hardened arms and torso. Or how as she lay flat against him he could feel her hardened nipples perked from the cold rubbing against his chest, her full breasts squeezed against him between her arms. M'Baku thanked Hanuman that he was too tired and too cold, otherwise right now he would’ve definitely had a boner.

That was until Akari looked up at him with her doe-like eyes and brought him out of his thoughts for the second time that night. “M'Baku?”

“Yes?” M'Baku said as he maneuvered his neck and chin to look down at her, wondering what possible conversation Akari wanted to start now.

“Thank you.”

Okay. NOW M'Baku was sure he had lost Akari to the cold.

Not that he thought Akari was incapable of kindness or being nice. Hell she was one of the nicest people in class on a good day. However he was sure that if she was in her right state of mind, thanking him for getting them lost in the middle of the most important assignment of the winter would not be on her to do list.

“There is really nothing to thank me for.” M’Baku shrugged, a tinge of sadness and guilt staining his last words. “Just get some rest.”

Expecting her to retreat back into his chest, M’Baku almost felt himself freeze over when the girl in his arms drew herself up to his face and softly placed her lips onto his.

He was still in a state of shock when Akari sought to slowly deepen the kiss, softly massaging his bottom lip then top lip with her own. While he was still trying to process what was going on, M’Baku’s instincts took over, his lips returning her ministrations on their own. Her softness beckoned him, inviting him to get lost in her affections until she slowly retreated, almost drawing M’Baku with her as he leaned forward. She met her forehead with his until with a smile she said in a sleepy voice,

“No. Thank you M’Baku. For looking after me.”

M’Baku didn’t know what to say, as he looked into her eyes and saw that even if it was just the hypothermia, Akari had meant every word. He silently watched as she finally returned to her position underneath his collarbone, and made sure to draw up the blankets and furs around her arms where they had slid off from their encounter. 

M’Baku didn’t know why, but he hugged her even tighter to his chest as the exhaustion of the trip lulled them both into a deep sleep.

#m'baku fanfic #m'baku fanfiction #m'baku x oc #m'baku #mbaku fanfic #mbaku fanfiction #mbaku x oc #the cabin in the snow #greennightspider #black panther fanfiction #black panther fanfic

[imgoldielikehawn]

Once Mine Always Mine  Part 8

Rating/ Mature (Smut, Death, Violence, Mental Illness, Abuse)

Pairing/ Jared Letos Joker X WOC 

Word Count/ 1,868

Master List  and Part 7

AN/ Well I know its been absloutley forever I hope you enjoy this! its one of my off the wall projects but I love a rotten love story.. what can I say? LOL feedback is appreciated! 

Forever Tag List: @sparklemichele​ @readsalot73​ @oddsnendsfanfics​ @titty-teetee​ @lupy22​ @kenzieam​ @harleycativy​ @laketaj24​ @beltz2016​ @beltzboys2015-blog​ @galaxygimger1234​ @asadmelon​ @wilddrabble @captstefanbrandt @yessscolbybrock​ @oneday-i-will-fight-luke17​ @jdroman5432​ 

Joker Tags: @harleycativy​ @ariwolff14​

PAST

  Pulling up to the club I left strict instructions for the girls on how to proceed for the night and then got back in my car. The drive to my warehouse wasn’t far and I knew I would need a few things before I left.

My heels clicked as they hit the concreate ground on the way to the door. First things first I thought as the guard let me through the metal door. “Time to do away with this hair color.”

 “Did you bring what I asked?” I turned to Misha.

 “Yeah boss. Its in the kitchen.” She gestured to the room down the hall and I followed her down to the large open kitchen. It was empty except for the basic kitchen amenities and a few chairs. I dropped down into the one closest to the sink. The whole time Misha was bleaching my hair I watched in awe as my hair went from black to almost white to green. She took her time coming and blow drying my hair as she finished up.

 When I  myself in the mirror she held up for me I was shocked and pleased with the drastic change. I grabbed my weapons and keys and then I remembered that this hair changed called for an outfit change too. I decided on a purple leather dress and knee high boots.

 “Misha bring the car around.” I said grinning. I looked in the mirror one last time before applying my MAC Lipstick and heading out the door.

 We pulled up to an enormous house and Misha parked out front, it didn’t take long for my door to be opened and I followed the valet up to the large house where he escorted me into the siting room just inside the door. I hugged my green fur close to my body to combat the chill. The man led me to an office where he showed me to a seat and brought me a small glass of brandy.

 “The Master will be with you shortly.” He said before bowing out of the room. In a few moments a second door opened and the Mayor of this shit town walked in to the room.

 “Audrey, its been a long time since I’ve seen you, how are things?” He asked before pouring himself a glass and going to stand by the window.

 “Things are the same father, thank you for asking.” I took a swing of my drink and set it down onto the glass table.

 My father and I had never quite gotten along but he did love all the money my club brought in. We’d always had a sour relationship because we were exactly the same. When I was two years old my mother was killed in the crossfire of one of my fathers business meetings and I had never quite forgiven him for it. He’s since then remarried to an awful woman and we hardly had contact after I turned 18.

 “I really didn’t come here to chat father, I came on business. As you know I've had some uncomfortable dealings with the Joker these last few months.” I stood from my seat.

 “Ah, yes I had heard that. Has everything been settled. I cant stand unwanted chaos and as long as that clown is kept at bay my life remains unaffected.” He shook his head and frowned.

 The thought that my father allowed all the bad in the city to happen as long as his pockets remained full disgusted me. I knew my criminal genes came from somewhere but he was a monster all his own.

 “He made me an offer I could not refuse daddy, so I sold him the club.” I said this casually knowing just how much this news would rattle my father. It wasn’t true but he need not know that. I watched as he sputtered and chocked on his brandy. He turned several shades of red as he coughed and before he could catch his breath I reached for the gun tucked into my fur coat.

  “You know its your fault mother died, then you married that awful woman and hardly batted an eye at mothers death. So I propose a toast.” I bent down and used my free hand to grab my glass from the table and raised it to eye level.

 “Audrey… what-t are you..” My father stammered with wide eyes as I raised the pistol to my temple.

 “I SAID I PROPOSE A FUCKING TOAST!” I yelled a grin spread across my face as I watched my father shakily raised his glass while stammering and pleading with me to put the gun down.

 “To my mother, the woman I loved and the woman you killed!” I laughed and tossed back the drink. I pulled back the hammer and took a few steps closer to my father

So I could get a closer look as he fell apart.

 “Goodnight Father..” I licked my lips and moved my finger to the trigger.

 “NO NO NO NO AUDREY PLESE DON’T DO THIS! WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT UP!” He screamed hysterically.

 “I thought you’d never ask” I frowned.

 “BANG!” The shot rang out and my fathers blood splattered my face and chest.

        PRESENT

   We got out of the tumbler and took the elevator to the main level of the house. I had a few scrapes and bruises from where The Jokers hands had dug in and the glass had cut my skin. My first instinct was to turn to Bruce but he was already gone. I sighed and sought solace in a nice warm shower. The water ran over my shoulders and sore skin, I could feel myself relaxing and the weight of the day seemed to melt from my shoulders; however, that meant my thoughts were swimming with the scenes between me and Mistah J and it didn’t take long for the voices to speak up as well.

  “We told you he was looking for you, worried sick he was! You stupid girl!” They snapped.

  “No, he didn’t want us I was sure of it. Stop talking!” I whined back.

 “Look what you’ve done! Gone and told Mistah J that we loved someone else!” Their voices curled around my brain like a noose.

 “I do love someone else! I wanna be with Bruce I don’t wanna be crazy for Mistah J anymore I want to be normal! Just go away!” I sobbed desperately

 “You know the rulessssss once Property of Mistah J, Always Property of Mistah J!” The voices in my head laughed in unison as I sobbed outwardly.

 After my shower I crawled into bed and lie still looking at the ceiling thoughtfully. Was this to be my life? Forever trapped in between who I want to be and who I am. Would there ever come a day when I spent more moment living in the present than fretting over the past?

Would the voices ever quiet? And my least favorite question; would I return to The Joker?……….

   PAST

  I didn’t go looking for The Joker after I killed my father but it did not take long for him to find me.

 I was standing in the bathroom at my penthouse washing the blood off my face when I heard a commotion coming from the living room. So I rushed to see what was going on snatching my gun from the sink.

  ”WELL WELL WELL! If it isn't the insane AUDREY COLT!” The Joker exclaimed.

 “What are you doing here Mistah J?” I said firmly and maintaining my distance.

 “IM here for you of course Doll! You did it! I cant believe you killed the Mayor of Gotham and all for little ol ME ME ME!” He stepped forward and flung out his gold coattails.

 “Step right up and claim your prize!” He held his pale tattooed hand out towards me and I watched his icy eyes glisten with malice.

 “Mistah J.” I said in a tone barely above a whisper.

 “Come here Doll, NOW!” He snapped whilst reaching forward and snatching my hand. I lifted my gun and he grinned wildly.

 “You gonna shoot daddy? Deja Vu!!!!” He laughed tossing my gun away.

 I was frozen. I didn’t know what to do or more importantly what he would do next.

 “You’re so good…” He pulled me against him and then stared at me closely. His cold hands roamed my body as though he was assessing merchandise instead of holding a human being. “Why’d you dye your hair! I hate it!” He sneered before running his hands gently through my green curls.

 “EVERYONE GET OUT!” He yelled and let off a single shot causing his henchmen and mine to scatter.

 When the room was empty besides us two he reached behind me and lowered the zipper to my purple leather dress and my skin responded to his cool touch. He turned me around slowly and continued to lower the zipper until it reached the end. I swear I could hear him gasp at my black Lace Bra and thong. My pooled around my feet and I felt his pistol in my back beckoning me to step forward and out of it.

 “Mistah J..” I said into the quiet room. He turned me back around and cupped my chin like he used to.

 “Don’t be scared Doll, Daddys not going to hurt you. I'm going to make you feel good.” He was so close to my face that I could smell his intoxicating cologne and minty breath. He placed a rough and possessive kiss against my lips and ran his tongue against my bottom lip. I parted my lips and moaned as he explored my mouth.

 His cool fingertips circled my nipple until it became a hardened bud. He pulled out a small knife with a green and purple blade and my eyes met his as he slid the blade under the center of my bra and sliced in easily in half. My breasts exposed causing my face and neck to flush with warmth. He sheathed the knife and slipped his hands in between my thighs.

 “You’re soooo wet for me doll… After I fuck you… you’ll belong to me.” He whispered deeply as he began to work my throbbing clit.

 “I already am…” I breathed. My mind was gone and there was no turning back.

 “Oh Audrey… you haven't seen a fucking thing yet……” He chuckled.

#joker fanfiction #joker x woc #The Joker #Suicide Squad #Harley Quinn #Audrey colt #Gotham #batman #bruce wayne #woman of color fanfiction #iamgoldie #part 8