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dycefic · 3 years

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Hello, I recently read some of your work and I really really like your writing style! I’ve loved everything I’ve read so far and if it is not a burden to you and you are okay with doing so, I was hoping you could answer a few questions?

I was wondering if you had any formal writing education? Any advice for writing? Also wondered what kinds of books and authors you read, if you read?

I am sorry for all the questions, and if they’ve been asked before (I tried to find any answers you may have given to these or ones similar and I’m sorry if I missed them but direct me if need be).

I am also a writer and I’m always very curious about writers I look up to/ really like- most of them just happen to not be among the living so I do t really get to ask them any questions. Thank you for your time! It’s a pleasure to be able to read your writing!!

Thank you!

I am blushing extensively, thank you for all your kind words!

As for writing, I have had no formal education in it. I tried - and might not have dropped out of university if I'd succeeded - but creative writing required higher general scores than I got in school. I've read a lot of books on writing... like, a LOT... and always taken an interest in plot structure. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who walked out of House Of Flying Daggers (I saw it in theatres, I'm that old) rhapsodizing about the way they visually represented traditional storytelling metaphors (ie 'a rain of spears').

I will note that while it seems that absolutely everyone recommends Stephen King's 'On Writing', I've never read it because a) I found the little bit I read wordy and self-indulgent, and b) the very mention of that man's name enrages me because my partner once got into a serious hyperfixation and we didn't have a single conversation in which King's name was not mentioned for OVER A YEAR. This is not King's fault, but the name still fills me with intense fury.

Books on writing I would recommend:

K. M. Weiland's 'Structuring Your Novel': I like her 'voice', and her chosen examples, and pacing longer stories is one of the things I have the most trouble with.

J. Michael Straczynski's 'Complete Book Of Scriptwriting': It's an old book now, but it's still one of the best I've ever read, and my long-standing favourite. There's a ton of fascinating history about the evolution of screenwriting, and a lot of very pithy advice that applies just as well to novels and short fiction as it does to movies and television.

Chris Baty's 'No Plot? No Problem!': I haven't reread this in quite a while, but I remember it as being really helpful as well as fun to read. I also recommend NaNoWriMo in general. I've been participating since 2002 - this year will be my twentieth anniversary of NaNo - and my writing has improved enormously in that time. Writing is like everything else, insofar as the more you practice, the better you get. I've hit 50K every year since the beginning, so even if I never got a novel I wanted to finish, polish, and put out there (and a couple of them are promising), that's still 950,000 words I've written.

Also? Fanfiction. Fanfiction is a GREAT way to practice the craft. Because the characters and universe are pre-built, you can focus on the writing itself, on things like examining nuances of character, identifying and using tropes, and building a compelling story. Between NaNo and fanfiction, over the last 24 years, I have written over 2,000,000 words, and you can't do ANYTHING two million times without getting better at it.

As for who I like to read, I can't recommend Diane Duane, Tamora Pierce, and Georgette Heyer too highly. Not only do they write good stories, they were/are very, very technically skilled. Reading their work is an education in itself. I also recommend consuming narratives from other cultures - I learned a lot about different narrative conventions from things like reading translated novels, myths, and fairy tales, reading manga, and watching Chinese and Korean movies and dramas. It really gives you a different perspective on the mechanics of storytelling, and shows you how many 'default' or 'obvious' plot tropes are actually really culturally specific. (I have consumed every re-telling, re-imagining, or re-translation of Journey To The West, including the old tv show AND the Hallmark movie. I really recommend this, as it is FASCINATING how many ways different people interpret the same story. The Korean 'Korean Odyssey' and Netflix's 'New Adventures Of Monkey' are my favourites)

Bonus reading: When Books Went To War, by Molly Guptil Manning. It's not about writing, but it's about why stories are important, the lifeline a novelist can throw to someone experiencing the darkest of times, and what I believe may have been publishing's finest hour. I cry every time I read it, and it makes me proud to count myself a writer. If you ever wonder why you're slogging away so hard at learning so fickle and difficult a craft, this book will remind you.

“The therapeutic effect of reading was not a new concept to the librarians running the VBC (Victory Book Campaign). In the editorial Warren published on the eve of commencing her tenure as director, she discussed how books could soothe pain, diminish boredom or loneliness, and take the mind on a vacation far from where the body was stationed. Whatever a man's need—a temporary escape, a comforting memory of home, balm for a broken spirit, or an infusion of courage—the librarians running the VBC were dedicated to ensuring that each man found a book to meet it.” ― Molly Guptill Manning, When Books Went to War: The Stories that Helped Us Win World War II

#writing

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clownhyde · 2 years

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Neurodivergent Authors Are Treated Weirdly

Sorry for seriousposting on hyperfixation blog (it will happen again) but to be fair it IS about a hyperfixation

Um so I’ve noticed a trend with authors who are known to be neurodivergent, especially if they lived in an era where no particular diagnosis label could be applied to them, are treated in ableist ways, but like... exact opposite sides of the ableism spectrum.

Under the cut I’m gonna talk about that specifically in the cases of Edgar Allan Poe and Lewis Carroll

Okay, so I’ve noticed, with these two in particular, that people will simultaneously demonize their neurodivergence and/or their neurodivergent characters AND romanticize their neurodivergence and/or their neurodivergent characters, at the same time.

With Lewis Carroll, you’ll notice people constantly turning his story into a haven for “weirdness” as a positive aspect (WHICH ISN’T BAD! IT’S GOOD!) but as a result you have people with relatively unstigmatized neurodivergencies (or none at all) taking the “We’re all mad here” theme and rolling with it to an almost fetishistic extreme. While most examples are more subtle (just the slogan itself becoming popular, “crazy” and “mad” being overused as synonyms for “weird”, mental illness always being a factor in “edgy” adaptations, you know), one adaptation, Mad Hatter by Melanie Martinez, she turns needing medication and therapy into a quirky trait, uses an ableist slur (ps*cho), and states that she only considers “crazy” people fun or trustworthy. While it is true that she is neurodivergent (it’s a known fact that she has anxiety), the way she frames this concept is still at a point where I’d consider it fetishistic. (plus.. I personally only think people with psychosis should be using the p slur at all)

However, if you’ve ever wanted to talk about Carroll OUTSIDE of Alice in Wonderland, you’ll notice that if his neurodivergence is mentioned at all, it’s almost always in a negative light. It’s something mentioned in a hushed tone, or it’s a little “fun fact” thrown in when people talk about the negative things he’s done in his life. Like, I’ve never seen anyone be violently ableist towards him or anything, but they certainly didn’t miss his supposed psychosis symptoms and they certainly wouldn’t be respectful about it if they were willing to talk about it openly.

On the other hand, Edgar Allan Poe’s real-life neurodivergence is REALLY appreciated - but only if it’s the “quirky” kind. One of the quotes people have attributed to Poe (which has been disproven by The Poe Museum) is “I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.” If you know ANYTHING about Poe, his life, or even his works, you would immediately pick that out as bullshit; yet people still circulate it. There is a LOT - between other quotes (which may or may not have actually been his) and his stories - to imply that Poe was neurodivergent, but we know this because the man was fucking miserable. Yet he is popular in the “quirky, calls themselves ‘mad’, ‘crazy’, ‘insane’, and the like but then believes in narc abuse” crowd.

His characters, though? It doesn’t matter if there is nothing to imply their lack of “sanity”, either due to substance use or actual neurodivergence. It doesn’t matter if Poe makes it clear when a character is “mad” (again, due to substance use or neurodivergence). Neurotypicals can and will label certain villains of his - in this case, what sparked the article is Montressor from The Cask of Amontillado - as insane simply for being cruel or behaving in a way they couldn’t understand. For anyone who needs a refresher, Montressor plans out his revenge against Fortunato for YEARS, and never changes his mind either due to memory loss, change of emotional states, or the end of an episode (of any particular mental illness symptom). At no point does he show any sign of neurodivergence, either through other people’s interpretation, his own insistence that he is or isn’t, or anything to imply that he’s an unreliable narrator.

Contrast with Poe’s very extensive cast of “mad” characters... and contrast with the ones that are actually neurodivergent as opposed to being addicts (which is a whole other issue that I’m not qualified to talk about as someone who’s never touched a drop). The ones who are certifiably neurodivergent include Rodrick Usher (Fall of the House of Usher) and the narrator of The Premature Burial, both of whom are tragic characters as opposed to villains. A grey area includes the narrator of The Tell-Tale Heart, who arguably is probably supposed to be neurodivergent and unreliable narrator. Characters who are driven “mad” by alcohol include Hop-Frog (Hop-Frog or Eight Chained Orangutangs) and the narrator of The Black Cat. In all examples, there is some clear identifier that the character is not “sane” - Rodrick’s symptoms are explained in detail by an outside party, the narrator of the Black Cat ADMITS that he was driven to violence due to his drunk outbursts in particular, the narrator of The Tell-Tale Heart spends a whole paragraph mentioning that the reader probably thinks he’s insane, and in Hop-Frog, because it has an omnipotent narrator, it LITERALLY TEXTUALLY SAYS that Hop-Frog was “mad” when he came up with the plan that allowed him to commit murder. Poe always makes it damn clear if he wants you to view his character as insane, even if he also wants you to think that the narrator is unreliable.

... Anyways um. Blah blah people love getting to call themselves “insane”, “mad”, “crazy”, “ps*cho”, etc but hate when neurodivergent people actually exist. They wish they had even an ounce of my mentally ill swag

#discussion of ableism #Lewis Carroll #Edgar Allan Poe

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echo-inthevoid · 4 years

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Season 2 q&a and overall reaction

Jonny stealing everyone's names XD

Is martin going to be ok!? I also need to know!

He said no;-;

ok ya, no one's gonna be ok.

Ya, he must do sooo much research.

Ya, except for "fatigue" lol.

Eyyy the mechanisms!!

What's the red string brigade? Ok, I guess a group of fans theorizing about stuff.

Oh ok so someone else did martins poetry. Ooh, there's more martin poetry out there! *grabby hands*

Ok ya, Alex clarifying that Jon isn't stupid he just makes poor decisions. Probably if he'd paused and thought about it (like I did lol, I had to go do some stuff in the middle of that ep and thought about it a whole bunch lol) instead of immediately going out and buying an axe and further isolating himself and panicking immediately he probably would have figured it out. This is why it's bad to panic in a crisis guys.

Eyyy! Jonny's parents voiced Gertrude and Leitner! That's so cool.

XD Jonny grumbling about having to work with his parents.

Hmm, I hadn't really thought of Gertrude being like a mother figure in the story? She just seems very cut-throat I guess from what Leitner said. Idk so far I've been very suspicious of her. Especially since that one statement where her photo burned a whole bunch of people or something. She just seems very shady...

Alex chortling over Jonny's pain. XD

Side note, Every time there's a q&a I just can't stop noticing Jonny's voice going in and out of archivist range? Like most of the time I'm just listening along and then he'll say a sentence a bit grumblier and my brains immediately like "ARCHIVIST! That's THE ARCHIVIST!!"

Martin would be the last one alive in Friday the 13th! It's official!

(Is it bad that this gives me hope)

Jon likes Nonfiction, documentaries, and probably collects something just a little bit weird. *writes down for use in potential fics*

also while im at it I remember jon saying he dislikes coffee at one point, and so many people have him liking coffee in their fics! This has been your daily reminder of that fact because ever since then it keeps bugging me lol. (But also do whatever u want.)

Alex's spluttering sounds so much like Martin.

Yes!! I want to hear jon sing!! Yes! Musical Episode When!!?

Ah yes yes yes! All the characters are so unique!!? How does he do it!!

Ya, it being in audio format sometimes makes it hard to understand what's happening in the live-action bits. (Live-action is the wrong word but u know what I mean.)

Oh ok ya, how he mentioned he got a pipe was quite clever I didn't realize that that's why he mentioned it at all.

Ooh, there's a manga where there's something similar to Michael? I'll have to look that up later...

XD Alex and Jonny arguing about apples.

Ok, so all the statements we're hearing ARE for reals. I kinda assumed but good to have it confirmed.

They used to hang out together!!? Work function curry nights!! ;-;

Ya Ya! Who made the leitners!?

"You are assuming a book needs to be written" ...ok then. (but it has to have been created somehow??? Did they just spring fully formed from the powers? why? And why take the form of books?)

Alex's mischievous laugh about whether jon has friends *trembles in fear*

Yes!! Micheal is so good! I'm so happy they love him too! Yesyes! His laugh!

Ah Yes!! Mary kaey was so creepy!

XD yes yes yes fatigue was written on zero sleep, I knew it!

Akskdjdkd I love them so much. Also, I've looked up Michaels voice actor luke booys and he does some other horrory type sketches n stuff and I kiiinda want to do a little animatic with some of those but it's Michael like annoying some poor soul lost in his halls... I think that'd be fun. I wonder if anyone's done that yet? If so someone send me the links I neeeed iiitt :3

Season 2 summary:

Uuuuu ya so this season was really good. I kinda listened to it in bursts of about ten episodes every couple weeks and then have been saving up the reactions to post later so these are usually going up about a week or so after I actually listened to the episode just FYI.

I also do have a lot of spoilers cause I can't keep myself away from fanfic and people don't always tag for spoilers and I kiiinda wana know what's coming beforehand anyway? Idk it's hard man I get very stressed about what might happen and then also listening to too much at a time is too spooky for my poor little heart so I gotta read the less spooky fanfic to fulfill the hyperfixation you see. (If anyone has fanfic with spoilers only up to season 2 that'd be great btw)

Anyway, I try not to take spoiler type stuff into account unless I'm just so sure of it I can't really not acknowledge that I know about it.

Also, can I just talk about Michael for a minute?? Cause he's such a unique character? And I guess maybe there are other characters like him but I haven't ever seen one -tho to be fair tma is only like the third horror thing I've ever really got into (the other two are the SCP Foundation in its various forms and Little Nightmares. Hence why I keep making reference to SCP it's really the only thing I know similar to this.) But he's such a cool concept!!? Like someTHING that still has a personality? He's so not human? Like I get what he says but also I don't really? Idk im pretty sure he's an avatar right? Right?? Idk if that means he was a person at some point? But all this to say that he is probably the most inhuman character I've come across so far and I'm trying to figure out what it is about him that's so "other" to me? Like... I don't really know what Micheal's deal is? he seems to want to be sort of a neutral mischief-maker but also it seems like he keeps getting invested. But also I just love the way he talks about himself. Like he's a monster that has a personality and is fully intelligent but isn't just evil but isn't neutral either and certainly isn't benevolent. Like he's so complex and just,,,, the idea of a "thing" that's got a personality?? I love it? Kind of like dryads or spirits of things? Like the idea that after a long time things gain personality just by existing? Not that that's what Michael is necessarily? but that same sort of concept applies to him I think. Like the way he IS the maze and wants to help but wants to just watch but wants to kill them all. He's just so interestinggggggg. (And another vision of what jon could become?)

also "es Mentiras" is a beautiful name 💕

So are him and not-Sasha avatars? Not-Sasha also seems completely inhuman and I was under the impression that avatars were (or used to be) human? Or are they like personifications of their power? Do all the powers have personifications of themselves. not-Sasha seems even less human than Michael? Like she seems to just really genuinely enjoy causing fear? Tho I guess we didn't really get to hear a lot of her. She just seemed kinda gleefully angry most of the time we heard from her. Was she... Human once!???

Anyway. Also, can I just talk about leitners line about jon belonging to the eye!!? Just..*chefs kiss* hnnnngg I need more jon grappling with that. I just need more everyone dealing with the fallout post all of the finallies ok? I still need more of jon angsting over his worms scars and stuff and now I also need jon freaking out about belonging to a fear god power thing.

Also Martin! Is Martin ok? He sure did a lot of yelling which he doesn't usually? Look I love him and he actually thinks before he acts (unlike SOME people *looks at jon*) and he writes poetry and it is pretty good poetry ok!! And he cares about everyone and just wants a happy ending and aaaaa😭

Petition to get some statements from Martin's pov tho? I mean that's not gonna happen cause Jon's the archivist but I want more martin pov!! Maybe we can get some of his poem tapes??? Pls?????

I feel so bad for Tim. It sounds like he's kinda fallen into despair.

Also Elias!!? Is showing his spooky side!!? He can control cameras and beat a man to death with a pipe!!? This is his "place of powerr"!!? I am afeared!!? At least jon knows he shouldn't trust him now. Oh jeez, I wonder if jon will listen back to the tape and know what happened. Thhhatsss rough. Oh dear, I hope he doesn't feel guilty cause Leitner did keep trying to hurry him and now everyone thinks it was him. Even martin thinks he did it? Wich like I kinda want to hear more of his thoughts on that? How much does he believe that jon did it? Tim certainly seems pretty certain but he's a bit biased and cynical right now so.

And they were in the maze for DAYS?

Now I need martin recovering from being stuck with Tim in Michaels maze for days being angry and worried and hungry etc... Dksjdksa knowing jon could be dying RIGHT NOW and there's nothing he can do. Please someone give me the fic links if this exists!! I've already written like 5 drabbles based entirely on spoilers/other fics (which I'll probably post (w/ links to their inspirations) once I'm caught up and can make sure I'm not just completely demolishing cannon lol.

Leitner didn't even scream or yell or anything when he was murdered. Literally the chillest dude ever. F

Overall super great, Elias is terrifying, let's dive into the next season!!! I've got 2 seasons to finish in like, less than 2 or so weeks(?) if I wana be caught up by season 5 hhhh,,,

Better get started I guess.

#tma #tma lb #tma liveblog #liveblogging #tma season 2 #season 2 #season 2 q&a #season 2 finale #the magnus archives

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livefromhouseatlantic · 5 years

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Chain Breaking, pt 19

"Your perception is influenced by conversations you have an experiences you live. As a result, no two people's perceptions are the same."

This was said to me in a conversation with a coworker I barely know earlier tonight. I'm pretty sure he was high, to be honest, but either way, there's a fair bit of truth to that statement.

Something that can and does happen to me, as I've written about before, is that I get "stuck" periodically. I've learned the proper term for this state. The clinical term that has been provided to me in therapy sessions by the doctor is "dissociation".

I knew that term already - I usually see it in memes that offer a light hearted take on mental illness. I'd looked up the term before (I'm an information junkie, remember) but I've been reluctant to apply it to myself up until now, and if I'm being honest, I still am to a point. After all, the therapy sessions I've had up until now have been pretty disjointed. I'm still waiting for a formal session and possible treatment plan. But the pros thus far seem to think that's what's happening to me.

Anyway, perception. You and I could be having a conversation and you might say something that I hyperfixate on. I'll focus in on it to the point where I might lose track of the year of the conversation. Or, while we're having a conversation, nothing you say might bring it on - I might say something or have a random thought that does the same thing.

When this happens, I tend to go very quiet. I'll have trouble focusing on that you say. I lose track of time. I think I've mentioned in previous entries that I've recently lost pretty much a three week period wherein I do still remember all of the events that took place, but I might have them out of order, for instance, or they all sort of blend together into one big event rather than a series of small ones. My physical journal helps me to stay organized mentally and emotionally (to a point), and I'm very glad I wrote in it at least a few times a week in this period.

In addition to losing track of what you say, I'll lose track of what I'm trying to say. This particular part distresses me more than anything. I've been told (did I say this before? I have to check later) that from a very young age, essentially since I started talking in full sentences, I'd take my time before I said anything - sometimes leaving a very noticeable silence between an adult or one of my peers asking me something and me replying. The result was always the same - but the time I finally did reply, my reply would be exactly what I meant to say and would b often elicit surprise from adults for how organized or whatever my reply was. I have an expansive vocabulary and use it because for me, it offers me a degree of precision that I find lacking in day to day conversation. For me, not being able to communicate clearly and effectively is very frustrating. This tends to make my "stuck" moments worse.

"Stuck" for me elicits one of a few responses: sadness, anxiety, or in some cases, a great deal of anger. As mentioned before, my anger generally turns inward in very quick order, if it isn't already directed at myself. So I'm being quiet, probably talking slowly if at all, but internally, my mind is racing along at a million miles an hour with a whole picture show off things that are upsetting me more and more. I tend to try extremely hard not to lash out - it does happen sometimes, and I always end up berating myself later on for my lack of self control - but I might cry, for instance. I'm more likely to cry than I am to snap or yell at someone. Even in crying, generally, you'll see a tear or two, that's about all I can do. Only in the most dire of situations do I really start to bawl.

The thing I get the angriest about is because I feel like I'm playing a part most of the time, I'll be upset that I'm letting someone see the moment I'm having. I feel as though by being in this state in front of someone, I'm somehow manipulating them. I know that I'm not doing that, and I know that I'm just stuck and need to calm down, but I can't stop thinking that I'm either cruel for playing with someone else's emotions by letting them see mine, or I get scared that in seeing it they'll dismiss me as a basket case or not worth the time.

Because these feelings I get come on with little no warning, when things get bad and I find myself getting stuck a lot, I get scared and feel as though I'm not in control of myself. I've mentioned before that I've built up, over the years, a very high degree of self control. I pride myself on it. When I feel I'm no longer in control of myself, I panic. I'll isolate myself and withdraw partially or completely in defense. I do this for myself, but also for others. I feel like because I'm upset, I'm "an affliction", which is a term I've used lately. I'll feel toxic, poisonous, and overly burdensome. Moreso than usual. As is the case with depressive moments in people's lives, this tends to turn into its own feedback loop. I'll be isolated, have no stimulation or distractions, and will thus spiral further, leading to me feeling like more of an affliction, and so on.

Let's switch tracks a bit. There are some advantages to being tightly wound (in terms of self control): most people who meet me consider me chill out down to Earth. On the exterior, I am. I try very hard to project calm even in moments where I might not be. It helps me to help people out when they're facing a hard time, which is something I take joy from doing. I enjoy being a shoulder to lean on. It gives me a sense of purpose. Most of the time, it's not an act. It's only rarely or lately that I've really felt not calm more often than calm. This is sort of part of a trend in my life. Disruptions of any sort tend to throw me off kilter. Give me a traumatic enough event, and I really get thrown for a loop.

Another (sort of) positive is that, since I feel like I'm playing a part anyway, I'm able to change things up in fairly short order. For instance, I might effect a new style by changing up my wardrobe suddenly with no warning. Or I might go out and meet new people, where usually I'm kind of shy and prefer either my own company or the company of those I've known for a long time. I might completely change my hairstyle. Or I might start playing new games or watch television series that I wouldn't normally bother to (I've always preferred the written word to television or film). I've done all of these things before to try and feel less sad. The only thing that doesn't really change about me ever is the music I listen to - but my music tastes are so broad that I will switch between wildly different genres within the same day, so that might not really count for much. These things will make me feel better to a point, but they also reinforce my feeling that I'm acting through my whole life instead of being genuine. I might find a jacket or a pair of jeans that I really like and that look nice on me. I'll then berate myself for pretending to be something I'm not. It's just a jacket, man. Doesn't matter. I don't actually exist.

Let's switch tracks again. Generally speaking, I'm a very careful planner. While I might change my hairstyle very suddenly, there's usually some thought behind what I'm changing it to. I tend to consider things, oftentimes for an unreasonably long time, before I actually go about doing them. For instance, as mentioned before, I'm hoping to become a police officer some day. I thought about that a lot as a little kid, but I only seriously considered that possibility in my adult life when I was twenty. Four years later, I finally decided I was ready to begin getting in shape for the testing involved. I've waited months or years to tell people things that I feel are too important to rush into. I have to consider all of the possibilities that I can, first. "Meticulous", remember. Once I've finally reached a point where I feel capable of acting, I tend to move swiftly, but I'll think about it and look over every angle I can first. Self control. I actually like that, but there are some downsides. Namely, anything that comes along and disrupts my expectations can and will completely rattle me. It could be as simple as a friend flaking out on a plan or something unexpected happening in my day. I get very upset when that happens, because it doesn't fit the plan I have for my day -not that I tend to plan too too much, I actually kind of like to play my days loosely - but I'm still in control of that, see. I've gotten contrary with people over surprise requests or surprise visits. I'll say no just out of reflex sometimes because this wasn't part of the plan. I've gotten much better at that over the years. And there are certain people who I will just drop anything and everything for, so that's when everything I've written about planning just kinda goes completely out the window.

I actually fell asleep (and slept for a full nine hours, praise God and Zopiclone) between that last sentence and this one, so I've kinda lost my flow. I'll put a pin in this for now.

#personal #mental illness #mental health #chain breaking series

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