#but me being in relationship just makes me feel gross

[starfxkr]

just trailer park jj pumping ur pussy full of cum, dirty palm from work clamped over your mouth. he definitely does things to gross you out, but you love it.

𓂃 ࣪࣪ ִִִֶֶֶָ ˙†܀༅˗𓂃 ࣪࣪ ִִִֶֶֶָ ˙†܀༅˗𓂃 ࣪࣪ ִִִֶֶֶָ ˙†܀༅˗𓂃 ࣪࣪ ִִִֶֶֶָ ˙†܀༅˗𓂃 ࣪࣪ ִִִֶֶֶָ ˙†܀༅˗𓂃 ࣪࣪ ִִִֶֶֶָ ˙†܀༅˗𓂃 ࣪࣪ ִִִֶֶֶָ ˙†܀༅˗𓂃 ࣪࣪ ִִִֶֶֶָ ˙

normally jj doesn't mind you being loud, but having you waking the whole complex up at 2 am was a lot even for him. you were laying one your side with one of his hands gripping your thigh to hold you open, the other clamped around you mouth, smearing dirt and grime all over your pretty face as he roughly thrusts himself into your dripping pussy.

"fuck, been lookin forward to this all day sugar, you got the sweetest pussy in the world." he gives you a harsh, sucking kiss on the underside of your jaw, groaning at the way you clench around him at the praise, "you like that don't you? you wanna be the pretty pussy i come home to?"

sometimes he could be so mean, you had only just started spending the night after the unspoken agreement that you were to go home after a tryst, and here he was dangling a relationship over your head. you couldn't help the tears springing up in response, you wanted to be with him so bad but you felt like he was just running from you.

"alright, alright, stop all that now, just keep making your papa feel good," he flips you onto your front, pushing your upper body into the mattress and lifting your ass up to hit the perfect angle. each smack of his hips sends you closer to the edge, the swollen tip of his cock stroking against the sticky spot inside of you. he's so heavy against you, burly arms caging you and he revels in the way he's dirtied your clean skin, "goddamn i needed this, i'ma fill this pretty pussy up, maybe you'll give me a baby huh?"

he covers your body with his again, laughing at the pitiful sound you make muffled into the sheets, he can just make out what you're saying.

please i'll give you a baby, i love you, i love you, i love-

jj brings a hand back to your mouth, "shhh, calm down, just take it." he brings his other hand to your clit, rubbing your swollen bundle of nerves in harsh circles and you let out a shuddering cry as you cum, kicking and thrashing beneath him, the rhythmic pulsing around him sending him over the edge with a loud groan.

you're still crying when he pulls out and rolls off you, "did-did you mean that?"

the sound of a lighter is your only response for a while as he lights a joint, then he finally replies, "mean what?"

"about giving me a baby."

"don't worry bout all that sugar, c'mere." he pulls you close and shotguns the smoke into your mouth, pointedly ignoring the way you push his leaking cum back inside your still sensitive cunt.

he'll worry about that tomorrow.

#✨.txt #jj maybank prompt #trailer park!jj

[mixterglacia]

WARNING: VIVZIEPOP CRITICAL, STOLITZ CRITICAL CONTENT.

I get fairly mean in this one, you've been warned.

I am so sorry, Viv. You can't convince me to see Stolitz as anything beyond a toxic, doomed to fail, train wreck.

I'm SO down for a good toxic ship.

In fact, I found their pilot dynamic far more interesting than the current writing seems to be depicting.

I refuse to feel bad for a man that caught feelings for a childhood """friend""" so hard he ruined his own life. Blitz owes NOTHING to Stolas. He agreed to fuck him so he could run a business that is barely discussed, even though it was the original point of the show.

Does it suck that Stolas had to deal with an arranged marriage that he never wanted with a mean wife? Yeah.

You know what else sucks?

THAT STELLA HAD TO MARRY A MAN SHE NEVER WANTED, AND HAD TO GIVE BIRTH TO HIS CHILD. ALL WHILE HAVING A FUCKING CREEP OF A BROTHER. ALL WHILE BEING TREATED AS A MONSTER BY THE FANDOM THAT CAN'T UNDERSTAND HYPOCRISY IF IT BIT THEM IN THE FACE.

Like yes, she's a cantankerous bitch. But you can't seriously pretend like she isn't also suffering in this relationship. The only difference is she turns her pain into external anger, where as Stolas has been turned into uwu soft bird who can do no wrong.

Even though he destroyed his family in an extremely public way. Octavia is going to have to live with the impact of her father's decisions for the rest of her life. You can't seriously expect me to feel bad for a man that is the agent of his own destruction.

You also can't tell me that Blitz just needs to get over himself just so he can be with a man who's father BOUGHT HIM FOR HIS SON AS A PRESENT.

To reiterate. If this was meant to be read as a terrible toxic arrangement that just keeps happening? I'm down for that. But this is not, and will never be cute or healthy.

Blitz doesn't owe Stolas anything. He keeps up his end of the bargain. It's purely sexual, and just because Stolas can't accept that doesn't make it Blitz's problem.

Stolas needs to learn how to accept rejection and move the fuck on. He knew he would catch feelings and considering he basically has Blitz on a leash, that doesn't make this any less gross.

The fact that he knows Blitz will leave if he's given the power to go to earth on his own proves it.

Blitz has frankly done very little IF ANYTHING to warrant being subjected to this level of obsession on Stolas' part. He's just trying to make a living.

Frankly, if you wanted us to actually think Blitz was interested, you've totally missed the boat with that one. This should have been worked on ages ago and it makes it feel exceptionally rushed and out of character on Blitz's part.

At this point I'm starting to think Fizz and Ozzie are a fluke of good writing in a sea of godsawful shit. Charlie and Vaggie felt like a literal afterthought in their own show. Husk and Angel are so rushed it felt like watching a relationship at double speed. Are we even supposed to think Pen and Cherry are actually a thing? Because if I was Cherry I would have punched Pen for that shit.

Christ. I don't drink but Viv makes me feel like starting.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

#logan laments #vivziepop critical #stolitz critical #negative

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi so I’m 15 and in a relationship for the first time so I don’t have experience with any of this stuff. My partner and I have been doing sexual stuff for a few months now I just have some questions.

First, I was wondering how we can do sexual things in a way that doesn’t bother other people in the house. Like maybe that’s a dumb question and the answer is just be quiet but idk it’s hard bc my partner is very vocal. Also there’s very few opportunities to do stuff without anyone else home so that’s not rly an option.

Also my parents have been very weird about my relationship with my partner. Making lots of odd comments such as “i wonder if they’re having sex up there” (to my brother who is a *child*) and giving me lots of looks that just kind of make me feel really bad about my relationship. I know that sex is natural but they make me feel really bad about it and I could use some advice on what to do about that

Next, my partner and I are both interested in getting in to kink but I don’t really know how to go about it. I’ve never heard of people getting into that stuff as minors and we don’t want to do anything too crazy especially since we don’t really have access to any supplies.

You’ve definitely talked about this before but could you tell me what kind of protection is best and easiest to use and obtain for f/f sex. School didn’t teach me how to use anything other than a male condom.

Thank you so much. Sorry for asking so many questions

hi anon,

your first question is going to be pretty circumstantial; I don't know what the layout of your house is like or how realistic it is to wait for privacy. the ideal if of course to wait until everyone else is either asleep or out of the house, but I recognize that the former may be difficult if not impossible for someone your age and you've already said the latter is hard to come by. using other noises, like music or TV or white noise, can be helpful, although it's unlikely to prevent your parents from speculating.

to address your second problem most directly, I'm afraid there's no much that I personally can do to rectify that. it is unfortunately very normal for parents to have an anxious, awkward, and difficult time adjusting to their children becoming sexually curious. I think the most crucial thing to remember here is that this has nothing to do with what you're doing being gross or wrong, and most everything to do with how your parents were raised to think about sex. unless they have specific concerns they want to raise with you about sexual safety, their reactions are most likely coming from a place of discomfort that they don't know how to channel appropriately. that's not a shortcoming on your part, but on the people who failed to help them develop a better way of understanding their own feelings about sex - and, yes, on them for how they're handling those feelings now.

I'm unsure exactly what you're interested in exploring, since kink covers a very broad array of activities and "supplies" could mean almost anything, but I would definitely recommend an abundance of caution in your explorations. kink is great, but that doesn't mean it's easy for for everyone. there's a reason that you seldom hear of people your age getting into kink, which is that it generally requires a great deal of practice with navigating partnered intimacy and communication - something that few teenagers have had time to develop the skills for. kink is also something that many people find works best as a communal activity, by finding others to help introduce them around and sharing experience to help safely explore their fantasies; for obvious safety reasons, few kink spaces are looking to admit 15 year olds. by all means, do your research - Evie Lupine's youtube channel is a great place to start, with a backlog of hundreds of videos covering all kinds of kink-related topics - but be careful with how you act on it, and recognize that kink comes with more potential complications and risks than "vanilla" sex that cannot be taken lightly.

if both parties have vulvas and vaginas then you can use dental dams for protection during oral sex, latex or nitrile gloves or finger cots to cover hands/fingers, and external ("male," although there's nothing inherently gendered about them) condoms for any penetrative toys (or cut them down one side to flatten them out and make the aforementioned dental dams).

please don't apologize for asking questions! questions are how you learn and stay safe :)

#sex edventures 2024

[makethatelevenrings]

Angel by the Wing - THIRTY-THREE

chapter warnings: vomiting, morning sickness

Series Masterlist (Mobile Masterlist)

It was an average morning.

Rock music floated through the house coupled with the sounds of pots and pans banging around and you were bent over a toilet, breathing deeply through your nose and out through your mouth as nausea wracked your body.

“That’s good. Nice deep breaths.” Jake had popped his head into the bathroom to ask how many eggs you wanted when he found you bent over the sink with your hands clutching the sides of the counter. At first he thought you were in pain, but then the murderous glare you shot him when he asked if you were okay answered that question.

Now your hair was pulled away from your face, a cool washcloth pressed against the back of your neck, and a soothing hand ran along the length of your spine as you dry heaved over the rippling water.

“I fucking hate this,” you bit out. Tears pricked the backs of your eyes and you tilted your face to press against your forearm so he wouldn’t see you tearing up. Jake adjusted the washcloth so it wouldn’t fall off and scooted closer to you.

“I’m sorry, angel. I wish I could fix this for you.” If there was one thing Jake had learned since entering this relationship, it’s that he couldn’t stand to see you or Bradley like this. He hated being helpless. He was a fixer. He wanted to soothe your aches and remove anything that made you feel gross.

But he had also helped put you in this situation.

“Hey, hey,” he shushed you as you let out a pathetic whine. “Rooster is making some ginger tea right now and then we’re going to move to the couch. Set you up with some toast and applesauce and a bucket.”

“What if I puke on you?” you moaned dramatically.

“Darlin’, you’ve seen me and Rooster violently hungover. A little throw up won’t faze me.” You nodded in agreement with his statement and he took that as a good sign. Jake tentatively scooped you up and cradled you to his chest. Despite feeling sick as hell, you savored the feel of his warm skin under your cheek and pondered the possibility of them going shirtless every morning.

“How’s the patient doing, doctor?” Bradley asked when you emerged from the bedroom.

“‘M not playing sexy nurse right now,” you mumbled. Bradley chuckled and moved to help move some blankets over on the couch while Jake lowered you down onto the soft cushions. Jake hurried off to grab a bucket to place next to the couch while Bradley tucked one of the blankets around you and adjusted the washcloth to keep you cool. Skipper poked his head up over the back of the couch and then crawled over the pillows before he gently landed on the space between you and the cushion. The little cat curled up next to your stomach and laid his head on his paws, lazily flicking his tail while staring at Bradley in what some might call a threat.

“I’m trying to help her, dude,” Bradley muttered. The cat merely flicked his tail once more and extended a paw to lick at his fur.

And maybe show off his claws.

“Bucket,” Jake announced. “Plus tea and toast and whatever you want to watch on television. Please, please, don’t let it be Titanic.”

“Fuck you, it’s a masterful film.” But despite your protest, you settled on another classic. The boys knew better than to argue when the opening titles of Mamma Mia began. Jake instead settled in next to the bucket on the floor with his plate heaped with breakfast balancing on his knees. Bradley took up the rest of the couch by your feet. You nibbled on the toast that Jake handed you and absentmindedly pet Skipper with your other hand.

“Any plans for today?” Bradley asked once he was done destroying his mountain of food. Feeding two aviators was like turning on a garbage disposal and letting it run. You nudged his thigh with your foot and he put his plate on the coffee table so he could rub your feet.

“I was going to do laundry but I think I’m just going to rot instead,” you said. “I work at five so hopefully I feel human by then.”

“I got it,” Jake assured you. “I was going to mow the lawn and weed the garden but I can also make Roo do it too.”

“I’ll do it shirtless and everything,” your boyfriend said. He wiggled his brows salaciously and you pretended to gag.

“Thank you.” You ran your fingers through Jake’s fluffy hair. You loved it without the gel he typically wore. It stuck out in all directions thanks to the fact that he hadn’t brushed it after rolling out of bed and you appreciated how it made him look so soft.

“Our baby,” the boys intoned. They had taken to answering your thanks with a reminder that you were growing a baby inside of you. A baby that they had been very enthusiastic participants in creating.

Bradley grabbed Jake’s plate and his own and headed towards the kitchen to clean up after breakfast. You were transfixed with the movie on screen as the bachelorette night came on. Something sparkled in your gaze and Jake felt such a surge of want that it could have knocked him off his feet. Instead, he headed towards the bedroom where three overflowing hampers of laundry cluttered up the closet.

Dumping the clothes into one large pile, he set about sorting them into different piles so he didn’t end up with pink shirts from one of your stray red socks. He also made sure to check every pocket of pants and jackets thanks to the infamous “washing Bradley’s keys” incident. He found quite a few different packs of mint gum and ginger chews in your pockets and created a little pile for the future.

He picked up your jean shorts from a few days ago and heard the crinkle of paper. He tugged it out and flipped the paper. It was an envelope and he knew he should just place it on the dresser and let you deal with it but the hospital’s address was written in the corner. He shouldn’t read it. He knows better. But you had been avoiding talking to him and Bradley about something. They both could tell.

His fingers were extracting the letter before he could stop himself.

He unfolded the paper and found a bunch of letters filling the page. Jake didn’t understand a single word written except for two things.

Alleged Father: Seresin, Jacob

Probability of Paternity: 0%

Bile rose in his throat and burned along his tongue but he pushed it down. There was another paper behind it and he extracted the second page with numb fingers.

Alleged Father: Bradshaw, Bradley

Probability of Paternity: 99.99998%

Did Rooster know? Was that why he asked about leaving this place? Was that what you two whispered about? Was that why you shared smiles over Jake’s head, like he was outside of a joke?

What happens if the baby isn’t his? What happens if the baby isn’t his and you two decide you don’t need him? That you don’t want him? Can he handle that? Can he handle this dream being shattered?

His mom was just trying to help. Jennifer saw the possibility when he couldn’t. He was so fucking stupid.

Jake tossed the papers onto the dresser and headed into the closet to grab his duffle bag. He needed space. He needed time. He needed to figure things out.

You couldn’t push him out of your life if he walked out first.

Tag List:

@mizzzpink @xoxabs88xox @dreaminglandsworld @khaylin27 @loveforaugust @atarmychick007 @itsmytimetoodream @krismdavis @emma8895eb @startrekfangirl @hangmandruigandmav @lunamoonbby @sihtricswife @jstarr86 @drakelover78 @abaker74 @hardballoonlove @nerdgirljen @primroseluna

#bradley bradshaw x reader #jake seresin x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader x jake seresin #abtw #rooster x reader #hangman x reader

[ladyloveandjustice]

You mentioned haruka kissing usagi when she was still dating michiru in the manga, and it got changed in the anime. Can you explain that to me and why it's bad?

I'm not really clear on the question here? To give further details of what happened, At this point Usagi didn't know Haruka's true identity, but had pretty much guessed, and she also didn't know her gender. Haruka really randomly kissed Usagi out of nowhere as Sailor Uranus while warning her to ~stay away~, Usagi had dreams about the kiss and wondered who Haruka really was, seeing Haruka in both her school uniform and the more feminine clothes she sometimes wore in the manga. When she woke up she was flustered and wondered if this counted as cheating...so yeah, dreaming about both aspects of Haruka turned her on. Then Haruka and Usagi meet up the next day, Usagi asks if she's a man or a woman, and Haruka leans in perhaps for another kiss, saying "does gender really matter?" But the Mamoru comes by, Usagi and Mamoru have a heart to heart about how he's been jealous and vice versa and then the plotline is just. dropped. forever. No impact on Haruka and Usagi's relationship going forward, no indication of how this affects Haruka's actual gf.

I'm really glad the 90s anime didn't do this (I'm not sure if they would have been able to, tbh, don't think the kiss would have been allowed'). It was big to see girls kissing in the manga and I think it gave a lot of young queer people so much of a thrill we didn't really unpack what else was going on, myself included. But it falls into a lot of unfortunate trope and make Haruka a despicable character-first in that she basically assaulted Usagi even if the narrative doesn't really treat it that way, checking off a predatory lesbian trope, and then she's remorselessly cheating on her actual girlfriend and we don't get any indication of what that means for their relationship because apparently that's not important. And then there's the aspect of Usagi leaving her lesbian dalliance behind to reaffirm her commitment to the heterosexual relationship, which feels gross. The plotline being introduced and dropped without any consideration for the impact on the characters makes it badly written.

In contrast, the 90s anime gave Haruka the habit of playfully flirting with every cute girl she sees, not just Usagi. It also hinted at Usagi's (and the other girls') attraction to Haruka without her needing to be assaulted, and there's no indication Haruka is interested in Usagi in particular. Haruka loves to hit on girls, and it's a habit Michiru's aware of and tolerates with an eye roll or quip, but both of them know she's never actually serious about her flirtations, and in contrast, as the season goes on, she becomes VERY serious about Michiru. It keeps the ladykiller who makes all the girlies question their sexuality aspect of Haruka without sacrificing her integrity or relationship with Michiru. The anime centers their relationship, and never forgets Michiru exists.

#ask nev #haruka tenoh #michiru kaioh #sailor moon #harumichi

[languri]

Anyway i just found out that im aromantic lol everything makes sooooo much sense to me now 😅

#likeeeee im so afraid of admitting to people that I have no interest in relationship and talking about relationship with other people #because they will immediately think that i am a sad and bitter woman #and like i get annoyed about my friends talking about their relationship and like i started to think something's wrong with me #and it's also ironic considering that I do selfshipping content #but like how do i explain that i have no attraction to irl things but like the idea of relationship and doing lovey dovey stuff to- #-fictional character is like my drug and i consume it like my life depends on it #and thats because i know that its not real and its just fantasy to me #and like i love the idea of romance and relationship #but me being in relationship just makes me feel gross #like that's why i broke up with my ex i just immediately have 0 interest after getting into a romantic relationship #anyway i decided to look up for aromantic and ended up taking a bunch of quiz #turns out i fit really well with Lithromantic #so i guess I am an aromantic lesbian now huh???? #asukablyat

[spacedlexi]

girlies post incoming!!! 💜🍊

the way these two had no idea what they were doing (clem raising aj. violet leading the school) yet now they support each other and as a team are trying to help each other figure it out together. theyre making it up as they go but they at least know they have each other to rely on for whatever happens next

clem never had all the answers but she was trying her best to not let that show. violet becomes someone clem knows she can rely on no matter what (standing up for her and aj and their place at the school, "when i heard you call for help i didnt even think"), and clem becomes someone violet can rely on in turn (using her experience to help violet lead and protect the school and helping her take care of all these kids). theyre each others ROCKS!!!!!!! THEYRE A TEAM!!!!!!!!!!

honestly one of the reasons letting vi get taken hurts so much is that no matter what she WAS the leader of ericson!! vi (the wallflower that she was) steps up as soon as aj is in trouble to protect him And clem, then continues to fall into that leadership position because its not like anyone else is trying to keep everyone together. and even though she has no idea what shes doing or going to do about the army coming to take them all away, shes still trying her best, and clem helps her figure it out as they begin to lead together as a TEAM!! neither of them would be where they are without the influence of the other (vi stepping up as leader, clem being allowed back in). and you can just..... let her be taken in spite of all that.......... no wonder she was so heartbroken in that cell how could she not be

but if you save her it just solidifies their building relationship. that theyll always have the others back no matter what. and vi solidifies this even further by shooting minnie to save clem. all the little reassuring smiles they give each other.. making sure the other is holding up ok in moments of stress... im gonna go cry now

#THEY ARE EVERYTHING!!!! #vi shooting minnie to save clem just feels like such a great payoff to the culmination of their relationship LIKE MY GOD #and then after that theyre Especially mushy and gross with each other :) much more openly and confidently :) THATS GROWTH #twdg #violentine #it speaks #usually these posts stay in my drafts but i want to yell about my girls these lines make me feel things theyre such a team 😭 #if i dont write my silly little essays about my silly medias i'll explode #2:30 on a wednesday. post it #played ep 3 last night and had lots of feelings about them #they gave clem a real partner bro 😭 i'll never stop being grateful for how wrong i was about clem romance they fuckin nailed it

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I've seen enough poly stuff in my lifetime. Y'all can stop now.

#God #Jesus christ #Is it that hard to devote yourself to one person #Poly stuff is so gross to me #That's not a relationship #You just have fuck buddies #How is it any different than fuck buddies #If you admit that you're willing to be with someone else then you're not in a relationship at all lmao #If you can sleep with whoever you want then that's no different than not being in a relationship #Crucify me if you want but those are my thoughts #If it makes anyone feel any better though #This specific post is inspired by fictional characters rather than real people #I still feel the same regardless #But like lmao

[fiovske]

liking star wars is partly crying over obi-wan as a neat little study in grief and partly dodging obi/kin shippers as a form of extreme sport

#I didn't even know this... thing existed until jack told me wbt it a couple of weeks ago #like seeing hayden and ewan as like. older dudes. i get why ppl ship it. #i don't like it and i dont agree. but its two good looking men and shippers are predictable as hell. #so i see where its coming from. #but on god obi wan sees anakin as his brother. he says so himself. #he raised anakin all by himself and obi wan was in his 20s when anakin was a 9 year old or smth #its so weird to ship them like. the man raised anakin. he is his older brother. #why are u guys such weirdos that you have to ship it like it makes no sense to me #bc caring for someone as your own brother. it sickens me to dilute something as strong as #a familial bond. something sort of a complicated sibling relationship even in adopted terms doesn't make it any less significant #it just does Not sit right with me pals. #and it feels weird to me.. when its seen through this shallow lens of shipping #love doesn't always have to be romantic to be some 'higher form' of love yall are just cowards #obi wan and anakin's relationship is the foundation of love and betrayal and grief and anger and everything in between #and being platonic doesn't make it any less intense. #tldr: obi/kin is gross and dont interact w me if u ship it end of #anti obikin #do not even LOOK at me if ur into that padawan x master bullshit

[subwaytostardew]

what would happen if you had the max friendship points on both ingo and emmet?? Would the two fight over the farmer?? :0 oh lord i have so many questions- if the twins decided to go trick or treating would they be cat & dog?? Would they be angel & devil?? "I can be yuor angle :) or yuor devil >:)" if the both stared at you- would emmet straight up look away n blush while covering his face?? Or would ingo do that? >:) i apologize if those are too much questions-

Um... No. Thank you for apologizing.

Apologies for declining to entertain this ask, but we won't be writing anything pertaining to the twins sharing a lover (aside from their break up messages that all bachelors have in the group 10 heart event because well... if you cheat on them with not only their brother but the entire town then you don't really deserve to be in a relationship!).

Emmet doesn't like sharing and has trust issues; he would drop anyone who tried to go after both him and his brother. Ingo wouldn't tolerate anyone forsaking his brother. If anything, they'd fight you instead of over you...

We both aren't comfortable writing about twins sharing a lover and don't think it's realistic, so we won't. Personally, if I found out that my lover was two-timing me with my brother I would tie them to the tracks and hope they get ran over by the next train. Please respect that boundary!

▷ Station Steward Thylak

#mail car connecting line #Emmet lowkey has issues from only being wanted as a twin and not just because he's Emmet alone so um. He'll hate you #I'm really picky about sibling relationships since I project my own experiences a lot so... #I don't want to think about brothers being involved in the same romantic relationship... it makes me feel gross. Same with Kade.

[layzorr]

Mm

#i hate myself sometimes #i really fucking hate myself sometimes #i fucked up a relationship for my host and ill never het to exolain myself #he says hes not mad but i know he misses them and he got so fucking depressed over it #i keeo messing up i keep being so fucking mean #im always so fucking angry and scared all the time #i feel so fucking ugly and gross and just Bad #i dont like my body i dont like my face #i never have the energy to talk to people and it makes me such a bich #im always such a bitch to everyone #and i dont know how to stop #and i dont know if i can actually get better #fuck #i miss my friends #i dont know if they even think of me as friends at this point #because im always fucking gone #i never talk abouy my problems because i knowif i get upset ill be a dick again #i dont know how to stop #im trying i swear im trying #bit i act like my grandma i always have #and i dont know how to stopm #i hate how similiar wr are i hatebit i hate it i hate it #im the one who was there when she. did tha. to us #im the one who had to have that memory #im fhe one who felt it #andbi know its my hodts trauma too #but ive always felt ot ive always been the one who had to carry it #and im just #i do not think i am a good person #i do not know how to be a good person

[miutonium]

Unrelated to my blog but anyway hi I just found out that I'm probably aromantic lol ✌️😗

#asuka speaks #i fall under Lithromantic to be precise :3 #basically it means that i love the idea of romance and love in theory #but the idea of me being in a relationship or lets say having my feelings reciprocate makes me extremely uncomfortable #i think that also explain my fixation on selfshipping and liking fictional characters while having 0 feelings to anyone irl #i love making building stories for my ships and treating them like it was a relationship to me #because in my subconscious i was doing it because i know that it wasn't real and that means there will never be a situation where- #those feelings will ever be reciprocate and I'll be happy in my little space #but in reality it makes me kinda grossed out #that explains my feelings with my ex too like i liked him and tell him i liked him but then he said he liked me too and we tried datinf #but then the feelings just fizzles out and i feel uncomfortable with the status of me being in a relationship and i fantasize being with- #other people instead so like i break it off a month later #and i never felt so relieved after breaking up #and i though i was weird and something's wrong with me because i feel like i dont like people but like the idea of datinf #i really wasnt aware there was a spectrum for this ahaha so glad i was not weird ;w; #anyway i guess i am an aromantic lesbian now haha #asukapodium

[saintlesbian]

honestly willow feels a lil too far gone for me. like she’s been indoctrinated as one of the benson women. it’s unfortunate bc I was really hoping for her to forgive nina eventually but they’re really goin into this “reject biology for your new adoptive family” which would be fine if Nina was really all that bad of a person… but whatever!

#general hospital #pentababbles #that line ‘I feel like a Spencer’ just felt gross to me sorry. #she’s never gonna be a reeves sorry. the eternal granny wars is gonna make it so that she can never be one or the other. #oughhhhh sorry for being a nina apologist and benson hater AGAIN I’m sure it’s annoying by now #the bensons in general engage in a lot of hypocritical behavior so. Willow fits in just fine #and nina is kinda set on the idea like ‘welp I’m not gonna have a relationship with my daughter so time to go all scorched earth on her fam’ #yea I’m bitter what about it.

[c4tnap]

love having a super warped sense of self when it comes 2 sex & intimacy due 2 past shitty relationships. thanks guys!

#cant ever ask for anything bc ill just be pittied #if she wanted me in any way she would jusy. idk. take it and do smth 2 me like past relationships #either way both options make me feel small. ill. gross #feel like i only deserve something if im being hurt and used lawl #imagine not thinking that ur worth isnt tied to if ur gf wants to have sex with you or not