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greenokapi · 3 months

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So… what do y’all do when you wanna do a bajillion things but you can’t settle on which thing to do so you just kind of end up doing nothing?

… lissen I’m still only recently diagnosed with adhd so I still don’t know how to work with it… I wanna draw so many things, wanna make merch, comics, I wanna write a fuckton of silly cringe fanfics… I wanna make videos? Like maybe youtube videos rambling abt stuff while drawing but then I don’t know if anyone would even be interested in that, and besides I haven’t done video editing in…. Probably close to 20years? What program should I use? Anyone got any tips on that?

I also wanna make stuff, lil bead things like these guys I made a while ago for example

I also wanna try doll customization cause it’s kinda only been the last decade or so where I’ve allowed myself to like dolls… reasons for that being … uh… gender stuff… it’s like only now in my life, around 30 have I finally gotten somewhat close to getting a grasp on my gender and sexuality, and I never even really realized before that this was something I had a problem with? Which probably makes no sense tbh…

I also wanna do sculpting and even paint, after art school teachers made me feel like I should never paint again bcs idk man I wasn’t up to their standards 🤷

And… I wanna do all this stuff but not only does brain say ‘adhd my guy’ but there’s also my increasing health issues that… I mean I’ve always had them but I guess getting older makes it harder and harder to constantly deal with them… and that’s another thing I never really realized was so bad until back when I was in Japan in 2015-2016 as an exchange student and would have to go to the hospital increasingly often bcs of pain nobody could diagnose… aand then I was shamed for it bcs having to go to the hospital in the middle of the night sometimes was a huge hassle to the dorm staff, idk I was a problem…

Since then I’ve had two operations and will probably need to have more in the future. Also, amusingly, when I finally got diagnosed I was looking at the list of symptoms, all of which I could relate to in at least some way, but the ones that stood out, for some reason, were ‘constant exhaustion’ and then below it was ‘insomnia’ and… maybe I’m not actually lazy when I’m tired all the time? But y’know, I don’t really wanna use a chronic condition as an excuse to just do nothing, plenty of ppl have chronic problems but still do stuff with their life… but when I think like that I also remember this isn’t a ‘pain competition’ or something like that and different people just have different capabilities to deal with chronic pain and such… idk, I honestly think I’m still trying to come to terms with the realization that being exhausted and in pain all the time probably counts as some kind of disability….. but I don’t feel like I’m allowed to say I’m disabled bcs I do also have good days, you know? I should probably try harder to just DO things?

Ahem, it’s like 9AM and I haven’t been able to sleep and stuff hurts… I just wanna go do something productive but instead I’m whining on here which I probably shouldn’t do bcs this is the internet and strangers can see what you post and maybe use it against you but also sometimes you just really wanna rant into the void… or maybe more like semi-void cause idk, maybe someone reads this and can relate or give advice or just talk or something? Buuut you suck at talking… then later you feel embarrassed about your tired rambles and probably end up deleting them and just bring them up in therapy later like you should…

Anyway, until this embarrassment pops up I’m probably gonna try to find some painkillers and go draw or something -3-

#Rambles #Negative #I guess #sorry about that jgchhf

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trickstarbrave · 6 months

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I just had an au idea heavily inspired by Shamat and Riiju-lei….

Im half awake and on my phone btw pardon any typos or if it’s incoherent

Yknow Nerevarine becomes Nerevar and it’s the 4th era and all that. Except Nerevar and Voryn last left off on a really bad note. Voryn was already super corrupted by the heart but Nerevar thought he was at least semi-lucid. And Voryn had pretty harshly told Nerevar he hates him and never wants to see him again. That he’ll kill Nerevar himself to finally be free of him. And post killing dagoth ur this still fucks Nerevar up

He’s not evil Nerevar he just has. Bad ptsd from everything along w insomnia and psychosis (I have psychosis and I like writing characters with it) and he’s convinced that while he was madly in love w Voryn and tried to use that love to convince him out of the fight in the heart chamber… Voryn never really loved him. They were only friends for convenience on Voryn’s end and Voryn probably began to hate and resent him early on in the friendship but had to stay close bc Nerevar was king and could pose a threat if he let his real feelings show so he’d rather act like he enjoyed Nerevar’s company and subtly manipulated him just to survive

So when he finds Voryn’s reincarnation injured and low it’s… it gives him many mixed feelings. He’s happy to see Voryn’s face again, and also believes Voryn wouldn’t want Nerevar anywhere near him reincarnation or not. He feels guilty enjoying his reincarnation’s smile and laughter and sweet voice. But he tells himself over and over that it’s just for his sake, he would send the reincarnation somewhere else if he could but Nerevar is the best person to protect him at the moment. It’s just temporary and he’ll let the reincarnation now somewhere outside of Morrowind where he’ll actually be safe. He kept his distance enough that it’s not a super painful goodbye on the reincarnation’s heart, but he does wonder why he feels so cold and empty leaving. Nerevar wishes him good luck and sets him off to Skyrim

Where dragonborn shenanigans happen and alduin is slain. And then the gang goes to Solstheim where cult shit (outside miraak’s) happens and oops. Dagoth ur and Voryn Dagoth are both trying to get in that body. It’s a chaotic mess. Most of the cultists are dealt with but Neloth calls in Nerevar

And Nerevar. Well. He’s not happy to hear it at all but he comes running and does know the solution. He and Divayth were working on making sure dagoth ur never returns—Azura prophecized his reincarnation after all, and Nerevar interpreted in the most dire way possible assuming she meant dagoth ur and not Voryn. (To Nerevar of course she wouldn’t bother just telling him about Voryn coming back because it’s not like it concerns him. Voryn would want nothing to do with him, and hated him arguably more than the tribunal did. So she must be warning dagoth ur would be coming back)

The mask ritual is what they came up with to banish dagoth ur. But divayth warns him since he hypothesizes Voryn’s soul is completely bound to dagoth ur, a reincarnation choosing to banish dagoth ur will banish Voryn’s personality, memories, etc with it. He’ll truly never see Voryn again and won’t even have the chance to talk to him abt what happened and apologize. Nerevar says that’s definitely for the best, because as much as he wants it he doesn’t want to hurt Voryn either.

He would have done it on the reincarnation at the temple to be safe but his reincarnation seemed so sweet and lovely, he couldn’t bear the thought. The ritual is likely going to be painful and miserable and he didn’t do anything to deserve it, he didn’t choose to be Voryn’s reincarnation.

But he assures team dragonborn this is their best bet and if they encourage him he’ll be able to fight it off. He doesn’t tell them about his close relationship with Voryn or even that any bits of Voryn in him will also be banished because he doesn’t. Really think it’s relevant their friend is suffering trying to fight it off himself. And he’s in a bad way fluctuating rapidly from classic dagoth ur insults, screaming, confused screaming, and begging for Nerevar to help him—team dragonborn initially confused on who Nerevar is.

And the ritual is a success! Only it didn’t banish Voryn but instead made all of it surface in his mind and he’s out cold processing it for several days. It all seems to have worked though and he can’t sense dagoth ur’s influence on him in the slightest. Makes sure to get him all set up with healers. Though he still tries to keep his distance despite team dragonborn being like “hhhhhey db seemed to know you and kept calling for you to help what was that” and Nerevar laughs it off that he knew the man dagoth ur used to be as they were political allies for a time and basically coworkers AND he helped the reincarnation when he was injured one time so it probably all bled together. Hey he and divayth are going to be the only two ppl alive now who know there’s more to it than that his reincarnation doesn’t need to know how much bad blood there really was between them more than absolutely necessary. He’ll probably already be upset about dagoth ur and everything he doesn’t need to feel guilty about what Voryn said (and Nerevar does believe Voryn was probably in the right on that one). He does spill though that Voryn’s personality and memories will be gone AFTER the ritual is finished, but he tries to do that to reassure them that almost everything should be back to normal and they can forget this all every happened really

But uhhhhh yeah. Dragonborn wakes up with Voryn’s memories crying and demanding to go to morrowind to speak with Nerevar. Team dragonborn reassured him that Nerevar is already here on Solsthiem bc neloth called for him to help with the whole tribunal cult and weird possession shit. Lucien probably is like “he said he and your previous incarnation—well before dagoth ur—was your coworker of sorts. But that not to worry, your won’t remember anything from that man either!”

And the dragonborn has to deadpan “a little late for that. I remember everything” or smth along those lines. Just feeling absolutely awful for what he said to Nerevar before Nerevar was forced to kill him. And then gets told “he said you were political allies and coworkers” and has to go “COWORKERS?! WE WERE CLOSR FRIENDS FOR CENTURIES. THE CLOSEST OF FRIENDS. I TOLD HIM ALMOST EVERYTHING WHAT DO YOU MEAN COWORKERS?!?!” Before it dawns on him that ohhhhhh god neht actually thought this ritual would banish all of Voryn’s memories too and he’d never remember Nerevar again. But was willing to give that up to truly free him from dagoth ur’s influence like he couldn’t do so long ago. He’d rather lose his closest friend and the man he loved for a THIRD time than risk Voryn losing himself again.

#pain

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2383-lines-of-code · 10 months

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oceangate symbolism bc insomnia is a bitch (this is what I get for taking a nap yesterday ig):

the game controller was my main focus with the previous post: billionaires literally play with the lives of others as if they are playing video games. They can easily control/manipulate ppl, as one does with a game controller, but they also see their own lives as games. They saw no real risk with the sub bc they weren’t taking it seriously, it was all just fun and play to them. for example in genshin (bc it’s literally the only game I play) you can get into bad situations, but you never rly die. Even when all your characters die, you as the player, still exist in the game, all you have to do is go to a statue, patch up ur characters, and you’re free to do dumb shit again without any personal loss except for a bit of time. this is how billionaires view the world. Just replace characters with employees and healing statues with hiring new ppl, and it costs them nothing but a bit of time.

the renaming of the ship was also interesting. Originally it was called the cyclops II and although that was probably due to the single window, it has some interesting symbolism. in mythology cyclopes are considered unsightly/monstrous (much like the sub) but holding almost godlike powers. The passengers as we know were billionaires who often do horrible “monstrous” things and have an unfortunately enormous amount of power. Also Cyclopes are often either the source of, or closely linked to irony and hubris in a couple sources (mainly those inspired by The Odyssey) and in this situation ironically enough, cyclopes are known to be incredible craftsmen. Plus Cyclopes having one eye/poorer sight can symbolize the lack of foresight in the oceangate sub project.

The name shift to the Titan (ic) although more ironic parallel than symbolism, still gets a spot here. In specifically Greek mythology, the titans were the originals, those who were powerful and roamed the land until the gods took over. The sub, similar to the gods, wanted to to go down in history as being better than the original (coming back after viewing the wreckage and possibly becoming a rich ppl tourist thing) But their hubris, just like the Greek titan’s was their downfall. Both Titans believed their designs and power to be absolute when in reality both had them taken in the blink of an eye. Also Zeus cut the titan’s king Cronus into hundreds of tiny pieces, mirroring how the sub imploded, breaking into many tiny pieces. And looping back to the beginning the controller being one of the few things that remained intact symbolizes how, despite tragedies happening, the top 1% will throw away lives as long an their control and their games remain intact.

Entering theory land

so this isn’t rly symbolism but is interesting nonetheless (to me at least)

This whole thing is rly similar to the sirens calling for the crew in the odyssey (I had to write a long ass paper on that thing in hs so I will reference it every chance I get) Most of the men on the ship plugged their ears and turned away, ignoring the allure of hearing their song, much like how the general population didn’t rly care abt the sub. But the sirens, or the exclusivity of viewing the titanic, dragged those who got too close to their death. The billionaires are similar to Odysseus himself here where they knew “listening to the song” was bad/would kill them, but they were like “how bad could it actually be?” and left their ears opened. In the odyssey Odysseus gets warned by his crew, and with the sub, the general population was like “are you stupid? That’s a death trap.” However Odysseus was saved meanwhile the sub obviously… wasn’t

@the-gayest-sky-kid

#someone feel free to rewrite this an phrase it better #I’m tired and kinda talking in circles here #oceangate #oceangate symbolism

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eternally-tired-cryptid · 11 months

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Okokok so I have pretty bad insomnia, I complain abt it all the time yada yada

Here's the thing, I've had tricks throughout my life that help me fall asleep easier, but a lot of those aren't cutting it anymore. I need new tricks

Tricks that don't work or only work occasionally

Telling myself I might as well just stay up the whole night (this used to make me conk out, now I run the risk of actually pulling all nighters)

Redoing my bedtime routine (hit or miss)

Listening to a podcast instead of music

Listening to classical music instead of lyrical

Listening to a guided sleep meditation

Wearing a sleep mask

Keeping it dark in my room

Having an on bed routine (rolling over certain amounts of times)

Writing stories in my head (fanfic, mostly)

All of these are things that work occasionally. Some nights are better than others, but if I run on two little sleep it tends to exacerbate my other health issues to a concerning degree

Naps are easier to do but if I go to bed at night telling myself I'm just taking a nap it's a 50/50 as to whether I sleep thru the night or wake up two hours later

Idk but if anyone has any ideas I can try that are not already on this list that'd be great

Oh and, I do take melatonin, but if I start taking it nightly it stops working after a week or two

#jasper rambles #and if anyone gives me a screentime or food or bed schedule talk i will scream #those can affect it yes. but my issue is definitely way bigger than that and they dojt make a big enough of a difference to be the focus rn

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honeyed-sunflowers · 1 year

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I posted 4,420 times in 2022

That's 3,031 more posts than 2021!

259 posts created (6%)

4,161 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@your-brittle-heart-warm

@lostinthestarsss

@1989tv

@garden-of-the-soul

I tagged 840 of my posts in 2022

#asks - 166 posts

#moots <3 - 72 posts

#anon - 39 posts

#sakshi ✨💕 - 37 posts

#taylor swift - 35 posts

#sparklingstar 🧡🧡🧡 - 27 posts

#thank you! 🍭 - 26 posts

#picrew - 25 posts

#tag games - 21 posts

#🫀 - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 105 characters

#your spotify was tay-tay-fangirl-original-motion-picture-soundtrack-awkward-middle-school-slow-dance bad.

My Top Posts in 2022:

heaven sounds like this 💗

28 notes - Posted May 6, 2022

Tag ur top 10 moots and write smth nice abt them!(if u want to tag more than 10 that's fine!)

hey, anon! thank you for sending this ask!! i'm gonna tag all my adorable mutuals and/or people i love! ❤️

@sugarspiceandeverythingnoice @sparklingstarr-tv @your-brittle-heart-warm @1989tv @doctorcheeseburst @cruelestwonderland @midnights-13 @toowisetotrustme-toooldtocare @allyonthemoon @candyswiz @ourstv @kazzlethedazzle @taylorswifff @midnights-xiii @lostinthestarsss @lovethethief @garden-of-the-soul @salenagomez @dried-roses-old-letters @vesperaverysage @fearlesslymarta

you guys have made my year so wonderful with your kindness, jokes, and infinite love and care. 🥺🌻

i'm also using this opportunity to let you all know that i'm going on a long break now until all my exams are over. that's gonna take at least six more months. i'm going to miss you all so much!

i'll be here on specific days like for midnights release, christmas, and/or new year! so until we meet again, stay safe, and stay beautiful. i love you all to the moon and to saturn. 🪐💝

(i'll still keep my discord, so you can reach out to me there if you wish to!)

31 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

new theme! 🌻

“she is the sunlight and the sun is gone~”

— trading yesterday [she is the sunlight]

See the full post

36 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

Midnights – Taylor Swift

Side A: The Dark Side of The Moon

1. New Moons: the first track, starting with a slow rhythm and then building up. theme – being afraid of the new changes in life, like going to a new school and the fear that keeps you awake at night. here, new moons, refer to youngsters facing life changes. this will be the other pov of nothing new. (‘the kind of radiance you only have at 17’ but it'll show the struggle of being 17 here)

2. Saudade: it means nostalgic or melancholic longing. this can be about wishing to go back to a certain time of life when you believed you were the happiest or had someone precious but they aren't around anymore. it can be about sleepless nights thinking about that moment of life.

3. The Tale Of October: this can be a narrative style of song, following the story of a memorable october – how that month symbolises something meaningful to the narrator. it can also include myths associated with this month (it's known as the month of gods in japanese folklore).

4. Cinderella's Shoe: a long-story short kind of song – but it focuses mainly on the negative/darker side of it. inspired by the saying “if cinderella's shoe fit her, why did it fall?” and the enchantment that wears off by midnight.

5. Insomnia: for all the night owls. for those nights where sleep is a distant place, an escape from reality, but it's hard to reach it. it'll include wild thoughts, anxiety and/or imaginations we may conjure while trying to sleep. this will be the saddest song, of course.

6. Werewolves: a song about transformation (every full moon, so contrasting the first track). halloween vibes that will first show werewolves (humans) as monsters but slowly show the misunderstood side of them. it will have reputation vibes and be the song connecting side a with side b.

☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️

Side B: Midnight Paradise

7. Meet Me At Midnight: the first single of the album. it will be a beautiful, romantic song but with hints of fear of losing it, just like delicate or peace. it'll also follow a timeline, like the first verse will be about 10 pm, the second verse will be about 11 pm and in the bridge, at midnight, the two lovers will finally meet.

8. Aquila: it's a midnight constellation, in the shape of an eagle. it'll be about the random bursts of creativity or ideas we may get when we are about to sleep. it can symbolise independence (like owning your own music) or about the growth that occurs in solitude, which no one appreciates us for.

9. Stargazing: another love song, but this one goes like a fairytale. like love story or invisible string. it can be about staying up late at night with someone special, spending your midnights with them after a long day.

10. Temporary Deaths: thinking about lost friendships or relationships and finally understanding how to let them go. it's a slow song about goodbyes, how they tear us apart, how we wish to avoid them, but they still happen. “temporary death” refers to how a part of us dies when someone we cherished disappears from our life.

11. Cerulean: it's about love that keeps you awake at night. it can either take a happy or a sad turn, depending on the listener, so the writing will just super creative.

12. Lanterns: inspired by the emily dickinson quote “i'm out with lanterns looking for myself”. taylor also mentioned ‘lanterns’ in the announcement post. it's about self-discovery or self-reflection. finding your mistakes, forgiving yourself and being free from the guilt, and working on being a better person. it's about accepting our true nature and being at peace with it.

13. The Witching Hour: technically, the witching hour is 3 a.m. so this song takes place after midnight. a story about witches (inspired by a poetry series i once wrote), how the public humiliates them but they stay up all night for a good cause instead. a song with i did something bad and mad woman vibes but it will have less angry tone, and more like “i turned the stones you threw at me into jewels” vibes.

so, this is something i've always wanted to do but never got the chance to do it. i'm not so sure about how much it makes sense or if it matches the theme of the album enough but this album allowed my imaginations to run wild and i knew i had to do something about it! let me know if you liked my ideas! and if possible, i'll try to write some of the songs or just turn them into poems. until next time, keep burning the midnight oil! *winks*

– dandelion

See the full post

42 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

it’s time to go || good-byes

i have always been terrified of goodbyes. in my head, they were the worst thing that could ever happen to me. i don't know what was worse — saying goodbyes or receiving them. naturally, i have been bad at handling those situations. at first, they were invisible. like childhood best friends who did not find me "cool" enough to hang out with me or my favourite teachers who disappeared into the crowds and never appeared after i left my pre-school. those goodbyes were not defined, so many words were left unsaid, so many emotions forever bottled in my heart that i still write about in poems. but then came the goodbyes that were said. maybe that should have been the point where i should have realised why. it was because i had grown to deny whenever a friendship started fading away. i was clinging and holding on to the person even though they've had enough of me and only wished to leave. even after they left, for good, all i did was weep and weep. in poems, in songs, in everything that i did, a part of me wept forever, waiting for them to come back and tell me they'd never leave me again. i think a part of me still does... but it's not like before. and i'm sure i'm not alone, that there are so many people who are still learning how to accept goodbyes and not let it kill them.

earlier, i used to try to find new ways to show people just how useful and lovely i can be. it was selfish, or perhaps, it was truly out of love, but in the end, i wanted them to stay. i did not want any more goodbyes. so, i went out of my way to love them, shower them with as much as i had to offer, showing them the most authentic and lovable version of me. i wanted to give them reasons to stay. but, did it stop certain people from leaving? of course not. no matter how hard you try, you cannot make someone love you. you can beg and cry all you want but if they want, they will surely leave you. they do not owe you anything. and they do not have to hold on to you forever, even if you are the best for them. it's just how life works. certain ships are meant to stay as long as the storm is raging and once the ocean is calm, they will sail off to other islands. certain butterflies love to visit you while you are full of flowers and sunlight, but they cannot stay when the rain comes pouring down. some will only find you in autumn leaves, others in chocolate ice-cream cones, and some in your neatly handwritten study notes. you can try to show them that they are wrong or that you deserve better, and maybe you are right, but they will leave when the time comes. however, there's one thing you can control — your reaction to their departure.

grieving is not a bad thing. in fact, i feel like it's so important to grieve freely and unapologetically. but once that's done, we have to truly let them go. they can leave physically but only we can remove them from our minds. only we, ourselves, can wipe the ghosts that we allowed to haunt our bones because that's just what we knew at that moment of vulnerability. but now, it's different. time makes you stronger and smarter. what feels like the death of you may not threaten you by the next decade. goodbyes felt like the end of my world but now, i know they are there. they are always waiting in the dark corners of life. but now, if a dear friend of mine says their time has come, i hope i will be able to see them off without breaking down and losing all my hopes for a good life. i hope i won't rely on their ghosts to bring me a sense of peace and can find other ways to regain the happiness i need in my life.

goodbyes, whether said or not, are still something i hope to see less often in life. but the fact that i am not constantly worried about "who is going to stay?" and "who will be the next person to leave?", i think i can survive them. i have survived them, even the worst ones, and i know it gets harder as life goes on, but it also gets easier to accept them. they will come and go but what stays with us are the lessons and memories and those are the things i want to remember. not the nights my hand feels a little too empty or the way they burn down my house as they leave. as long as i do not give people the ability to kill me when they leave, i will be all right. because i deserve to survive these storms. i deserve a life that is not defined by goodbyes. and only i can create that life. it's my choice. it has always been my choice. and i am finally accepting goodbyes for what they are — endings — heartbreaking but necessary endings; promises of a better sunrise. i hope i will remember this the next time i watch a relationship break and i'll know when it's time to go.

— dandelion [it's time to go]

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

108 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #Spotify #oh wow what a year #thanks for showing all the love to my top posts 🥺💛

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leosmasktails · 1 year

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in response to the post abt considering you a big blog and being excited abt responses n stuff id say yes absolutely- the community for rottmnt tk stuff is small enough that ive kinda read a little from everybody, and youre def one of my favorite writers here ngl (absolutely no shade to anyone else tho, i promise)

AWW WAIT STOP THIS IS SO SWEET-

I do appreciate being one of your favorite writers, especially considering I don’t see myself as very big or popular lol, although I will credit my writing skills to having been an “author” on Tumblr for longer than I’ve had this account :)

(For personal reasons I’m not going to disclose what my other account was unfortunately, but I hope you all understand where I’m coming from!)

I still have a lot to learn and I try to improve my skills everyday because writing is definitely not easy! That’s why I always try to support my mutuals and other writers because writing is a pain in the ass to get good at.

It takes a while to learn how to form interesting sentences and use vocabulary correctly to allow the reader to get better images of the story in their heads without the sentences feeling repetitive or “stiff” :)

(Even now I still try to use more interesting vocabulary and it’s difficult!)

Also there is so little tk content of just the brothers so I try to provide in that department for those who don’t necessarily like the reader inserts (I think they’re fun and love that people enjoy them so don’t take that the wrong way or anything! For me there are certain fandoms I just don’t write reader inserts for and they’re usually cartoons/animated lol. Idk why but that’s just how my brain likes to work 🤷‍♀️)

Anyways, thank you so much for liking my work! It makes me happy that people enjoy my insomnia ideas lmao

(Also I feel so bad because I swear Chapter 1 of FLS is almost done lmao, I have to write like a few more paragraphs and proofread/make changes)

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tiredrobin · 2 years

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Its ok! I actually never expect you to answer immediately, id like you to take your time and don't get pressured.

Rest, have fun, eat, drink some water. I'm actually going to follow my own advice haha.

Today a black cat visited me and he was te sweetest lil thing, very polite, i shared some chicken with him. Just wanted to let you know.

:] i adore u. i probably cant actually reply to the hc ask at all tonight because my insomnia has been kicking my ass and my jobs been exhausting and my toothache is making it hard to focus on anything for more than a few minutes (it hurts so bad man i wanna cry) like i am just. very fatigued. which strikes me as ironic, actually, cuz im exhausted but vibrating with the desire to talk about how even more chronically exhausted ingo is

heres some basic deets for u specifically to chew on tho cuz thats easy to write out (i actually wanna get kinda in-depth with my actual response! which means i might not reply to ur ask directly and i might make a separate post instead):

its type one

he also suffers from insomnia and a generally fucked up sleep schedule

tangrowth might end up playing the role of service pokemon (i like 2 think that tangrowth can do what service dogs do and smell/sense a sleep attack coming anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes beforehand, + tangrowth is big enough to catch him if he does collapse either from a sleep attack or cataplexy)

slightly delayed cataplexy

in the main hc, he had it before he ended up in hisui, but (and this right here is not at all well-researched on my part, so please please take it w a grain of salt) im thinking that his symptoms were less severe and it was a head injury that actually worsened his condition. its not degenerative/appears to be stable, but i also rly do think he needs to see a modern doctor just in case

SNEASLER IS SO WORRIED ABOUT HER WEIRD LITTLE GUY she cant and doesnt really play role as Service Pokemon but after the first time ingo unexpectedly falls asleep in the middle of a task and nearly hits his head against Rocks, shes so fucking watchful and alert for any potential signs of it happening again, and i like to think that tangrowth ends up teaching her how to smell it. her sense for it isnt as strong as tangrowths, but she can smell a potential sleep attack coming up to three minutes before it hits

this was more than a few thoughts but. i do wanna attempt to get more technical with it later/tomorrow so!!!

ok. i go take a shower n lay down more n see abt taking painkillers or smth. salutes

edit: FUCK I ALSO FORGOT YO SAY UR CAT STORY MADE ME SO HAPPY. clutches u. i love black cats thank u for telling me abt it

#robin replies #nugget nonnie #my focus is so shot and im so fucking tired this took nearly an hour to write #also nuggie if u see any glaring uh. idk. if i got smth wrong and u know i did domt hesitate to let me know if u have the spoons 2 do so #and if u want to too. u dont have to if u dont feel like it #ive read up on it a Lot but ive never studied it academically n i dont have personal experience w it

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herbalinz-of-yesteryear · 3 years

Text

Fic Writer Review

I was tagged by dear @andordean , and I’m tagging @ro-the-bard-writer @wholelottatiffy, @dclcq I know you are a private individual but I’m taggin anyway just to beep you a “hey luv ur stuff” And my new fandom fren @xuelingxu :D 不知道你写不写文，如果不写的话权当没看见啦

1. How many fics on AO3?

9 fics if we include super short fic-trailer (195 words lol), and I’m translating Jawanaka’s Ciri fic

2. Total AO3 word count?

111,522 🌱 all the couldves and wouldves aside, I’ve been writing fanfic for almost 3 yrs now, wow. Time flies.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Two. Cyberpunk 2077, Witcher.

4. Top five by kudos?

Seeking Resonance (modern AU Regis x You)

The Dream of Possibility (shitty two-crown-romance Regis x OC)

The Memory of Vines (abandoned; Regis x OC)

The Path of Aloneness (V x Takemura)

Half Moon, Full Circle (Regis x Queen of the Night)

5. Do you respond to comments, why/why not?

I almost always do! Love those who took time to comment; grateful always and happy my words made people feel stuff. There were times I DID NOT reply, however, and I ask for forgiveness and understanding: it’s either going to be a late reply, or, silly me but sometimes I feel so underserving of such loving comments I’m floored and cannot bring myself to reply.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with angstiest ending?

You mean fics dont have to angst? I’m not sure as I always strive for a balance of angst and catharsis so I avoid end on an angsty note. Maybe the Takemura one-shot? Or my current Lara Dorren & Cerro fic.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

If it counts, my stupid first fic. A cyberpunk 2077 character dimension traveled to the witcher world. Why to date Regis ofc and she got there bc of Ciri & Avallach

8. Have you received hate on fic?

Everyone has been so nice and civil, i don’t recalling seeing drama in others’ fics either :D #myfandomisdabest

9. Do you write smut?

👏

But I haven’t had the right fic idea for a long time to be able to write smut. Two nights ago on my insomnia bender i was thinking abt Angela Carter and had an idea; something fit for Halloween 🧛‍♂️

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Wym? Plagiarized or being posted to other sites? Either way, I don’t know:D

11. Ever had a fic translated?

No. Don’t think I’ve written enough in the fandom yet

12. Ever co-written a fic before?

And again sadly no. I do love the idea though! Someone plz hit me up.

13. All time favorite ship?

Very hard question. Regis x Dettlaff? Regis x OC (i include minor char like Queen of the Night, Tissaia as oc). Ciri x Cahir. 🖤 Geralt x Yennefer🤍

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

If it’s a WIP that is not progressing at the moment, I don’t want to finish xD

15. What are your writing strengths?

According to feedbacks, prose, or style. Personally I think I’m ok with setting the mood. I also like to research and worldbuild

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m learning to implement this! But I think dialogue is my strongest weakness. Next would be I tend to drag on every action in a scene, like A first B then C then D while it could’ve been A->D. But this I pay attention to in editing. I’m bad at summary, not good with titles. Also, maybe for lacking in practice, I think I’m still trying to figure out how to structure a cohesive plot

17. What are your thoughts of writing dialogue in other languages?

As in having a character speaking other languages in the fic? Ask yourself 1) must they speak that language? Does it make sense? If you write from any POV other than that chatacter’s, why would the narration presume to understand the language? Is it relevant to the plot they speak that way? 2)are you fluent in the language? Don’t make grammar mistakes and don’t use it for cultural exoticism

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Witcher. My once and future.

19. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Ha! “Favorite” and “I” in the same sentence?… Seeking Resonance maybe; that modern AU Professor Regis is a very comforting character (but also profoundly sad), it also made me happy to see it has made others feel better too.

I think my current super niche fic might be my favorite yet? Idk, it’s the biggest project i’ve tried and I do try. By the fallacy of sunken cost it should mean ill love it 😂

#tag game #fandom tag

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aroacenita · 3 years

Note

my bad 😔 I was curious if you had any hcs abt Colette

Oh no worries! I just have problems understanding english sometimes, cuz, yknow, im not a native speaker lol

Anyways, lets get to the headcanons!

<3<3

Colette has the largest collection of Starr Park merchandise in the world. From snacks, to pins, to life size figures! But the real stars of the collection are her plushies (At least to her)

To explain, I headcanon thats she has Insomnia, and her plushies actually help her sleep, even if its just a little bit

Shes a very well known fanartist and fanfic writer in the community! And thanks to this, Colette found her innate talent for writing in general. Shes actually secretly working on an original webcomic, but its going to be a long while until she releases the first chapter...

She and Edgar made her Demon costume from scratch! Turns out that both of them like cosplaying as well!

Speaking of Edgar, I have 2 headcanons for their relationships

1. They are just very close friends who didn't really like eachother at firts, but ended up warming up to eachother

2. They are sibilings! Twins to be more exact. The "Polar opposite twins" Colette being incredibly hyper and never stopping and Edgar being... Edgar

Getting into the more... Serious territory, I think that while, yes, she entered Starr Park because she loves the brawlers, I think shes a bit jelous of them. Jelous as in, she sees that they are powerfull, attractive, and, most of all, loved. And she never really felt this way in her life

To elaborare, I imagine her parents never really payed attention to her as a child, so she developed her chaotic personality to attract their attention. Wich, worked, but the attention she got wasnt good either. So she turned to the Internet to get this attention and love. And when she saw the brawlers, and how... Glorified they were... She... Well... Got to what she is today

AHHH, I feel like it got a bit too depressing at the end, pls tell me if you would prefer if i only wrote some fluffy stuff instead

Anyway, hope you liked em!

#Headcanons💫#Colette #Brawl stars #Shin makes some shit

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binniesthighs · 3 years

Note

miss ro!!! ur jeongin fic was so cute that letter with all the misspellings made me cackle low-key - really can imagine 바보 빵 (fool bread(?) not sure how they render that nickname in english for him) writing it 😭 him and mc were so cute no lie

so like i swear dpr ian used to have a soundcloud that i would listen to but for some reason i can’t track down the stuff anymore ?? but equally maybe i’m getting confused bc i listen to a lot of k-artists on soundcloud (i remember the day i discovered got7 jb’s music on there and completely lost my shit lmao but that’s a diff story) i’m honestly such a sucker for soundcloud artists why am i like this 💀💀 but he literally dropped off the grid apart from his insta after his idol group disbanded and his spotify is basically empty apart from zombie pop (which is p cute it’s in the dpr archives album) and his new album. i honestly love all the tracks on it bc have been listening to the singles since they dropped but nerves and scaredy cat are my faves i think of the new ones?? i low-key suck at song recs lmao bc usually I just queue the entire album start to finish / listen to ppl’s curated spotify playlists for like kr&b/indie&chill etc while i’m doing work so i usually hear stuff i like but don’t know the titles ?? last year i was heavy obsessed with dpr live’s album tho “is anybody out there” and also ph-1’s 2019 album “halo” is still one of my faves. i can try and dig through and find specific songs i saved tho if u want!

also i’m watching the making of the album documentary now and it’s honestly spectacular (and only 13mins it needs to be longer 😭😭😭) - he goes into the back story of each song and talks about his life too and there’s clips of him filming the MVs and laying down the tracks. it’s low-key getting me v emotional especially when he was talking about dope lovers and how he had some p bad relationships bc he tends to push ppl away when he’s going thru stuff and he was recording the lyric “it was all for a kiss” and then he said “was it for a kiss or was it from a kiss because honestly, i think a lot of shit happens after the kiss” and ooft that hurttttt

british insults are honestly the best - i love them bc they’re like super snarky/get to the point but they’re not actually like properly derogatory names? like i rly get uncomfy when ppl properly swear at someone even if I like hate them with a burning passion lmaoooo

omg snow day??? we haven’t had snow for a while now :(( my friend lives in mass tho and she said it was snowing yesterday too i’m jel :(( i thrive in the night too lmao but man my insomnia’s been kicking my ass lately 🥲🥲 i deadass live my life like chan and i rly thought this would stop after uni but i guess it’s just my state of being 😭😭

i love reading ur replies they rly brighten my day 🥺🥺 i get a bit in my head sometimes lmao gotta love that anxiety/depression mix 🤪🤪 and rly worry i’m being annoying/ saying too much / blocking up ur feed for other readers also 🥲🥲 i hope other ppl aren’t getting annoyed by how long my asks are 🥺🥺 mayb one day i’ll reveal myself n we can just msg instead or sth idk 😭😭

n e ways i’m gonna dip now but i hope you have a good day/night/week too, miss ro!! my life is spiralling low-key so might be gone for a bit but in the meantime i hope things go well for u!! and do lemme know what u think of MITO !! (and honestly check out the making doc if u have time!!) -😖

😖 awe heck, my responses make your day? 🥺 that makes me so so happy!! i know how ya feel, I tend to have hot and cold weeks, and my writing is what tends to keep it at bay :) as well as talking to all you cuties! You don’t annoy me at all sweets!! however ya feel like talking is fine with me!! ;) also don’t ya worry about dipping either! life gets crazy and I totally get ya! <3

more under the cut!

also thank you so much about my new jeongin fic!! writing his lil letter was my favorite part actually hahahah i was trying to channel my inner awkward teen boy for that one LOLLL to suit his character being super sweet and loveable and a lil shy on the side I knew that he would make some cute lil mistakes hehe

I’ll def listen to your recs!! I really need to listen to more kr&b tho! I have like two or three playlists that i listen to allll the time and am in dire need of new music haha the other week I discovered Kali Uchis’ new album and that’s been on repeat for me like crazyyyy recently FRICK its so good haha so that is my recommendation hehe

That sounds like a really interesting documentary tho!! I actually really like music documentaries! hahah I watch them with my dad sometimes about classic rock artists etc. it super cool to me to hear about everything that goes into an album as well as the creative process behind it too! like when skz do their little interviews and stuff before an album releases I lovvve that haha for the same reason I love hearing about why authors write what they did too! gahhh i’m ramblin but the creative process is so cool to me! I’d love to check it out!

whats funny abt swearing is that (oddly) even at nearly 21 years of age I am still not allowed to swear around my parents hahaha but when I’m not around them??? i will say anything and everything lolll but never at people like ya said haha i remeber a while ago I heard “bucket of fucks” and I thought that was pretty funny haha, also yay for snow days!! its funny bc I’m currently not in the state where I go to school so the weather was just fine here but there was like two feet of snow on the actual campus haha i heard that the students got together to have a snowball fight on our soccer fields (i just hope they were safe ooP)

#binniesthighs 💌#😖anon #binniesthighs feedback

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scripttorture · 4 years

Note

Sorry if something similar has been asked before, I'm writing a story where my main character spends a long period of time in (near) complete social isolation. He's locked in one room with a mechanical bird he made that can physically but not verbally respond to him, but no other contact with anyone else. Food and water isnt an issue. Time works a lot differently in that room, but what sort of mental and physical affects could you expect to see in the equivalent of about 10-15 weeks?

same anon w the bird and isolation: If it would change any answer, this character is roughly his early 30s, the room is the weaponry forge where he works and he's spent around 10 years in it. He started locking the door to keep distractions out but essentially the world ended and he was barricaded in from the outside. isolation anon again pt3, I now realise this doesn't sound like an ask abt the effects of torture, my character does believe he was barricaded in on purpose and then forgotten about, as it has been done to him a few times before (for like a few hours), and while afterwards he knows it wasn't torture, during and for a long time after he believes it was absolutely intentional

For the record I do take questions like this, which don’t meet the strict legal definition of torture. You’re talking about something that’s commonly used as a torture technique and asking about the effects (and whether the accidental nature makes a difference to those effects). I can help with that.

In this particular case I don’t think the fact this is an accident will make much difference. Outlook and intent can make a big difference, informed consent also makes a big difference, but in this case you’re talking about deprivation of something humans need.

I’ve read interviews where people have had a positive take on losing a limb, going blind and a whole host of other really painful things. But in every case these things were done with informed consent and they didn’t involve deprivation of something we need to survive.

What I’m driving at here is that humans are social animals, a lack of social contact is profoundly bad for us. In the same way that lack of food, water or oxygen is bad for us. And anything that relies on deprivation of a physical need has knock on physical and psychological effects whether we have a positive take on it or not.

Basically you’re writing solitary confinement and the good news is that there is a lot of free to access research on that and a wealth of survivor accounts online.

My masterpost is over here. You might also want to take a look at Shalev’s Sourcebook on Solitary Confinement which I link to as one of my sources. It’s free, online, very detailed and contains a lot of short interviews with survivors.

The time frame you’ve picked is a pretty good one. It would cause lasting mental health problems but (without prior mental health problems) it would be survivable for most people. You’ve also mitigated most of the factors we know make solitary worse, though not knowing when he’ll be able to come out would have a negative effect.

Some of the physical symptoms listed in the masterpost, such as eye problems, might be down to bad cell conditions. Most of the data set we have for isolation and solitary confinement comes from prisoners held in cells that we know are too small for comfort and may be sub-standard in a lot of other ways.

The solitary data set is large enough for a meaningful examination of which symptoms are more common. The trouble is that the papers available don’t really agree. Different types of analysis seem to yield very different results.

Broadly speaking depression and anxiety tend to come at the top of the list. Hallucinations and psychosis tend to be less common, but they become more likely the longer someone is in solitary confinement and some estimates put hallucinations as high as 30%.

Not everyone will develop every possible symptom (though keep in mind that a sense of helplessness, anxiety/depression and mood swings are experienced by the majority), so there is some scope to choose what you want your character to experience.

I think the best way to approach the problem is as a writer: which of the possible symptoms fit best with the character and the story you want to tell?

I’ve got an example of how to think that through in an ask here. It’s focused on torture generally rather then solitary confinement specifically and there are differences in the possible symptoms.

I’ve only written solitary confinement once, though I am planning to use it again in other stories. The character I was writing had prior mental health problems and the story was from his perspective. I focused on the worsening of those symptoms because that was something the character was extremely aware of.

He also experienced memory problems, lethargy, insomnia, hallucinations (partly plot and partly because I’d established he had a prior history of them), self harm and feelings of helplessness. Some of those things, like the memory problems, he was unaware of until other people pointed it out later.

I choose a lot of those symptoms because I was trying to create an unsettling, dream-like feeling in the narrative. I wanted the lines between reality and hallucinations to blur.

I’ve also written a character who was socially isolated. She was camping in the woods with some (but probably not enough) human contact. She didn’t have prior mental health problems and wasn’t isolated for as long as the character in solitary. She was also younger.

The symptoms I picked for her were mood swings, irrational impulses, depression and feelings of helplessness. Again these fed into the overall plot, some of which could only go forward if she made spur of the moment decisions without entirely thinking things through.

Look up Shalev’s sourcebook and read the survivor accounts. I think they’ll give you a good idea of the sorts of things people experience in solitary.

After that approach the list of symptoms as a writer: think about which symptoms can feed in to what you’ve planned for the story, tone of the narrative or the character. Symptoms aren’t a block on the story. They’re another element we can use to add to it.

I hope that helps. :)

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#writing advice #tw torture #tw self harm #isolation #isolation outside of a torture context #solitary confinement #Effects of Solitary Confinement #choosing symptoms

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judehayward · 4 years

Text

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… frankly i missed this ridiculous depressed little man so i’m gna try my hand at playing 2 charas again. the crowd grits their teeth in apprehensive nerves. it’s fine it’s fine it’s all FINE!!!!!!!!! also this is nai btw forgot to say. anyway. ahem. without further adieu.... his intro

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

ok to start w i won’t lie i’ve pasted in an old intro here bc i just hate intros i hate writing them i hate them................. bt it’s fine.......................... lets pretend this is all fresh n sexy n new....... bsically this is jst a disclosure tht this isn’t tht well written bc it’s old n stinky bt we’re all jst having fun here. bye

he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 2/3 months ago nw mayb bt... just some fun lore fr u all

in a new development in terms of sexuality i jst am nt quite sure……. hes always thot he ws straight… fooled around w a 90s hugh grant lookalike once n ws jst a bit like :/ my rocks rnt blasted off? bt who knows wht the future holds… who KNOWS wht the future holds ladies n gentlemen

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in san fran

as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws their son forcing them to b responsible n look after someone else. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh fgkhdfgh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Jude. personality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b.

he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a bit, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he says. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women. tries to b? a feminist bt sometimes fucks up n offends ppl n is like dam….. my bad fr :/

he has p bad insomnia so he like never sleeps fgjkhfgjkf he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at lockwood doing fine arts. he luvs painting n photography n philosophy n all tht. a pretentious fiend sometimes? maybe_so.gif. he isn’t rly pushy abt it tho n tends to like.... take nothing seriously bt at the same time acts like he is??? like he’s very deadpan in everything he does

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets eating frm a cereal box without care in public. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey (his vibe not personality bc i hc jude was depressed n shut himself inside all day when he actually found out what a dick he is dfjkfhg) and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

#radintro #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #jst implied bt never elaborated on #drugs tw #i think tht is all???

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tiredbiostudent · 4 years

Note

:0 tell us abt ur 1st year naps!!

okay fdhjsdfjh some background first though: 1st yr university I was super depressed and miserable and had v bad issues with falling asleep [aka I would usually not go to bed before 2am at LEAST bc a) insomnia tings

anyways this culminated in me being extremely sleep-deprived and probably getting 4 hours a night on avg? :))) I was EXHAUSTED 90% of the time [physically and mentally ;)))] and would show up to class tired out of my mind. I genuinely fell asleep in 80% of my biology classes and yes I wish I was joking (they were 1.5hrs long and boring af tho so can u blame me). I do this thing where I can’t keep my eyes open or stay focused and I just nod off and start sleeping but I’m still kinda conscious and omg THE NOTES I WRITE BECOME DIALOGUE FROM MY DREAMS INSTEAD OF THE LECTURE. WISH I WAS MAKING THAT UP SDFJHSDFFHSD.so basically my miserable ass would go to class exhausted, sleep through class, BOOK IT home as soon as possible so I could nap. and these naps…. omfg. I would sleep for literally 10 minutes but conk out so fast and sleep so deeply it felt like I was out for hours. like I would have full ass dreams all within like 8 minutes sjkjhffsdk. and I did this like every day! what the fuck!!!!

anyways ! hope this was funny somewhat bc I think it’s hilarious and first year still feels like a weird fever dream to me but also. PLEASE SLEEP I PROMISE YOU DESERVE IT AND BEING WELL-RESTED IS LIFE CHANGING BRO

#this is so funny when I read it all out #how did i survive first year jesus christ #tbt the first essay I ever wrote for university I started at 4am the day of<3 and it was due at noon<3 and I had a flight at 4pm<3 #I will say I am good at pulling assignments out of my ass and honestly my grades were dece but oh my god I was miserableeeee #but acc I think that's the biggest problem is that I don't face any consequences from my procrastination so I can just. keep doing it #asks

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transrightsjimin · 4 years

Text

writing down my memories from the concert before i forget

i had two trains that didnt go so i went with the third one and arrived at the time the hall would open, but it opened an hour later so that was alright

dreamcatcher is really good live bc i enjoyed the concert a lot even if there were metalhead dudes yelling to through the girls talking like we were at a fucking music bank show and they performed only two songs from the last album and not the two best songs, just like bts did stkkgsogkss

but rly they were so good like their dancing looked so graceful and powerful and effortless (i sadly couldnt hear their live voices over the bgm often) and they were very gay (flirting nd grinding and someone smacked the other's ass zjfsggsjsf) and very fun w the fans and joked abt starting a moshpit and they said they wanted to come back to amsterdam to drink bc it's the city of heineken beer and they wanted to drink it together (insert a bandmember doing motions of drinking an entire bottle) and they were just so funny and i fucking died when dami took out her staff out of thin air like that was SO cool and they did a cover of TWICE - TT and red velvet - bad boy!!! legends!!

and just when i thought the songs in the first part of the concert were a bit too calm, they did their more metal songs in the encore and we could jump more zgkzggkz yes

they also said insomnias recognized them in the city but were polite enough to not approach them abd the group re-enacted that and it was so cute gskgskskf

and at the end i stood much closer to the stage but at the side so i didnt see half the group and i didnt appear in the group photo but thats ok lmao

handong wasnt present so they used a sign of her face and held the mic to it during her parts in some songs 🥺

there was also a lottery (the prize was signed albums) where they would pick audience members by picking a number related to ppls spots and the numbers were supposed to be on wristbands we were supposed to get but a lot of ppl including me didnt have it so the members kept drawing numbers until they had all 12 winners and it mustve been so awkward for them like they prob thought a lot of ppl left or smth 😭

#dreamcatcher #dreamcatcher amsterdam #dreamcatcher in amsterdam #dreamcatcher melkweg #051119 dreamcatcher #kpop talks #rambles

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red1ight · 4 years

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i want to write some things down abt the dreamcatcher concert!! Mostly bc my memory is shit and I want to be able to look back somewhere to actually remember lol so here are just some thoughts that are really all over the place

ok first of all. how does jiu hold all that love in her eyes like that???

their live vocals!!!!

i was so impressed by yoohyeon’s vocals like no surprise but still her voice!! hearing it live in the same room?? amazing

when the show started sua kept trying to get us to make these weird noises with her and she was trying to time it in such a weird way lkajsdflkja

sua kept just like screaming into the mic i mean what else could i have expected

she said insomnias were cute and she wanted to put us in her pocket 🥺

siyeon’s overdose was. really amazing live

she kept doing this thing where she was like trying to mess up her bangs to be sexy lmao it worked

Yoohyeon said she watched lots of movies that took place in NY and she always noticed the stream coming out from the ground and so she said when she went yesterday (for the first time?) she saw the steam in real life and she was like oh!!! awesomel! adjsjhnh lmao she sees how nasty the city is irl and she’s like how cool! only yoohyeon lov her

Someone brought a LIFE SIZE handong cut out and they kept it on stage the whole show

their voices were all so strong and clear it was amazing

7 rings..💀 that is all

except it’s not all lol after the unit stages sua was insisting that every member do That Part of the 7 rings choreo I don’t know why dhakdh like ma’am WHO asked anyway she like reallllly grinded up on jiu 🙈 siyeon was like that meme ‘i am looking away’

sua like?? grabbed jiu under her arm or something and siyeon covered her eyes walked off stage and sua had to pull her back on lmao

jisu tried to get siyeon and gahyeon to do 7 rings and gahyeon was really like 🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️and so they settled on if you dont want to do it you don’t have to

in conclusion this part of the concert was just the bora agenda i guess lmao

Yoohyeon said she wanted to be closer to Sua for the 7 rings choreo and sua was like ???¿?? And she said yoohyeon’s acting weird I’ve never seen her this aggressive or something like that lol then they did the closer “original” version of the 7 rings choreo and idk what happened really bc I couldn’t see :( but I think she like grabbed sua or something and sua was shocked and yoohyeon was like it’s because of what sua did at the last show lmao anyway yh ran away before bora could kill her on stage

they talked about the time square billboard which was so sweet they showed the photo they took on the big screen and then they tried to recreate it

during the singji part of you and i in the bridge siyeon ducked when jiu went to hug her lol

i think the most fun i had was when we were all doing the fanchants!! it was really soo fun like i can’t express and they were really loud! at least in my section they were i hope the girls could hear

especially during deja vu piri and you and i :)))

seeing piri live what a rush

everyone got really hyped for all of dami’s rap parts that was fun

dami’s voice during polaris 😌 so nice

there was just so much love there!! between the girls and the fans

Gahyeon cried towards the end 😥 and we all started chanting gahyeon! gahyeon! And she hid behind yoohyeon and the handong cut out :’o

wake up and mayday were so fun we were all jumping so much

at the beginning of mayday with that piano part sua was playing the piano on gahyeon’s back

the way jiu just absolutely jams during mayday

i was so taken by gahyeon’s stage presence the whole show like her dancing really just stood out to me

at the very end when they were saying goodbye they were saying how it was their last stop of their first american tour and everybody cheered and then a section near me tried to start a usa! usa! chant and me and this girl next to me just looked at each other like....... lmao no absolutely not and thankfully the cheer didnt take off haha

but so the less fun part was the veerrrrry beginning like before we went in. whoever was running the venue messed up the lines and stuff. i mean none of that stuff ever goes according to plan it’s pretty rare that it goes smoothly at least in my experience but i got there at like 5:30 and was waiting outside in the cold until after 7 D: it was freezing but i was also dumb and wore not the warmest clothes for a 36 degree day 🤦 lmao but so the show started before everyone got let in :( i dont really know how that happened i guess there must have been a miscommunication but i missed the intro and fly high :(( luckily i got in there to see the very very end of fly high but there had to be at least like 150 people behind me and the line was still outside around the block :( so that was kind of sad i felt bad for those people i wonder when they finally got in

i got T3 but somehow ended up at the way back because idk they kept moving the lines around and i think they got us mixed up at some point but yeah im not short short but im not tall either so it was hard for me to see for the most part

but yeah! i dont really like to focus on the negative everybody worked hard im just glad i got to see dc! i had a good time :)

#might add some more things as i remember them #idk what to tag this as so that i'll find it again #but also not have it show up in any tags #dc concert #?#yikes i need to go to bed i have to be up in like 4 hours 😶

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