#but not because no one gets married period

[whateversawesome]

Spy x Family Chapter 97: An Old Love Story

Okay, say it with me: FOIL!

You can see it too, right? Looks like Martha x Henry (Henderson)'s story is a foil of Twilight and Yor's story.

Henderson was in Twilight's place; the smart, lonely young man so focused on his ideals that he was blind about who was in front of him and his very own feelings.

Martha was in Yor's place, the strong and graceful girl too young and inexperienced to know her own heart and that she was in love.

This is exactly what's happening with Twiyor, the main couple of the story, and I think we may get to see one of the possible endings for our beloved Twiyor through Martha and Henderson story.

Now, what do we know about these two 🤔...

We know that Henry Henderson has a daughter and a son-in-law. It was mentioned he writes to them, but there was no mention of his wife. This leads me to believe that:

His wife is no longer alive.

He lives with his wife, so there's no reason for him to write to her.

He is divorced.

So, with this information we still can't know what's the current relationship between Martha and Henry, but we can take a guess 😉

From the way the story is being told, it almost feels like it's a semi-tragic love story, doesn't it? We can almost assume that they didn't end up together...or did they?

Theory one: Yup, everyone is right and Martha and Henderson eventually went their separate ways for reasons we'll probably get to know in the next couple of chapters.

If this theory is right, I think it's beautiful that they are getting a second chance 💖They certainly look more mature, confident, and calm (also elegant!). I love the way they look at each other, so much trust and love 😌

Theory two: I know this one is a long shot (and Henderson just said in that panel that "She is merely and old friend") but maybe...they're actually married. Why am I so bold to even consider that possibility?! Well, there's this panel:

The matron is clearly teasing Master Henderson, don't you agree? If she does it, it's because she knows something. Either she knows that there was something between those two in their youth or she knows they are married. I don't know, but they way she said the word "partner" and the fact that Master Henderson is married made me think that Martha is his wife. I know, I know...it's a remote possibility, but you have to remember that marriage is mentioned a lot through different characters and couples during the story, so maybe those two were actually married. (But, it's quite possible it's theory one).

Other things to consider...

How long have Ostania and Westalis been at war?

My guess is that we're talking about two different wars between the same countries; very much like WWI and WWII, where there was a brief period of peace before a second conflict. So, probably the first war started while Henderson was in his 20s and the second war started when he was in his 40s (and Twilight was a kid).

It makes a lot of sense that now they're in a period of "Cold War", just like in real life.

The Garden

I am convinced that the Garden is involved in this. I've talked about this before (read it here). After this chapter, I still think the Garden is going to pop up. Want some evidence?

Do you recognize this guy?

That's right 😏 That's Matthew McMahon. What is he doing there? Too much of a coincidence, don't you think?

And also the way this is phrased:

Odd that there was a mention of the word Garden, isn't it? And the fact that the whole story between those two takes place in a garden...🤔

In addition to that, in a previous chapter, Twilight observes how Martha moves like a soldier. Franky mentioned earlier that Garden people are like soldiers. And the Garden has a history of recruiting young skilled/strong people, like Yor. Things keep adding up.

The Consequences of War

This is a prevalent theme throughout the whole SxF universe: how war (violence, intolerance, manipulation of information, propaganda, politics) has affected the life of all the characters.

No matter their background, nationality or education, we've seen it again and again with most of the characters big or small, like Twilight, Franky, Sylvia, Millie, and now we're about to see it with characters from an older generation like Martha and Henderson.

My guess is that this won't be the last time and this pattern will continue while the story lasts. I think what the story is trying to show us is how war is seen by some (politicians and men in power like Desmond) as a natural, inevitable course of action, but at the same time how brutal the consequences are in the smallest stories. That's one of the things that is truly remarkable about SxF.

#spy x family #twiyor #sxf #spy x family manga #spy x family analysis #spy x family theory #sxf chapter 97 #spy x family chapter 97 #martha marriott #henry henderson #loid forger #yor forger #spy x family meta

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Thinking again about the darknesses that lurk underneath the surface of Sense and Sensibility (I have talked before about how Edward despite being the eldest is subjected to what we can argue is emotional and financial abuse by his family for years, and how the Dashwood women are disinherited on a whim of their great uncle), and this time specifically about the Brandons.

We get so little about them, and what we do get about them is all bad:

This lady was one of my nearest relations, an orphan from her infancy, and under the guardianship of my father... At seventeen she was lost to me for ever. She was married—married against her inclination to my brother. Her fortune was large, and our family estate much encumbered. And this, I fear, is all that can be said for the conduct of one, who was at once her uncle and guardian. My brother did not deserve her; he did not even love her... I have never told you how this was brought on. We were within a few hours of eloping together for Scotland. The treachery, or the folly, of my cousin’s maid betrayed us. I was banished to the house of a relation far distant, and she was allowed no liberty, no society, no amusement, till my father’s point was gained... My brother had no regard for her; his pleasures were not what they ought to have been, and from the first he treated her unkindly.

Mr Brandon Sr is shown to us as being a greedy man, a bad administrator of his estate, and a cruel father. His first son seems cut of the same cloth, and his pleasures were not what they ought to have been is one of the most, if not the most sinister line between all the Austen novels. But there's more about him!:

Her legal allowance was not adequate to her fortune, nor sufficient for her comfortable maintenance, and I learnt from my brother that the power of receiving it had been made over some months before to another person. He imagined, and calmly could he imagine it, that her extravagance, and consequent distress, had obliged her to dispose of it for some immediate relief.

The Brandons were married for two years; the colonel returns to England and starts looking for her 3 years later. Young Eliza was then a 3 year old toddler. We are obliquely told that Brandon cut all ties with his brother:

It was a valued, a precious trust to me; and gladly would I have discharged it in the strictest sense, by watching over her education myself, had the nature of our situations allowed it; but I had no family, no home; and my little Eliza was therefore placed at school. I saw her there whenever I could, and after the death of my brother, (which happened about five years ago, and which left to me the possession of the family property,) she visited me at Delaford.

Eliza is now 17, so the eldest brother died when she was 14, which is 16 years after his marriage with the older Eliza. In that period of time, he managed to squander the whole of her fortune, and put the estate in debt again, as we are told earlier on by Mrs Jennings:

Poor man! I am afraid his circumstances may be bad. The estate at Delaford was never reckoned more than two thousand a year, and his brother left everything sadly involved. I do think he must have been sent for about money matters, for what else can it be? I wonder whether it is so. I would give anything to know the truth of it. Perhaps it is about Miss Williams and, by the bye, I dare say it is, because he looked so conscious when I mentioned her. May be she is ill in town; nothing in the world more likely, for I have a notion she is always rather sickly. I would lay any wager it is about Miss Williams. It is not so very likely he should be distressed in his circumstances now, for he is a very prudent man, and to be sure must have cleared the estate by this time. I wonder what it can be! May be his sister is worse at Avignon, and has sent for him over. His setting off in such a hurry seems very like it. Well, I wish him out of all his trouble with all my heart, and a good wife into the bargain.”

We know the Bennets, with five daughters, and without a saving mindset, still manage to live very comfortably with 2000 a year, and if they had had any mind to save money, they could have provided all five of them with decent dowries/money enough to keep them out of poverty when their father died if they were single. It is clearly not that the money isn't enough, or that Delaford is an unproductive estate; in fact, it is described to us as almost paradisiac:

Delaford is a nice place, I can tell you; exactly what I call a nice old fashioned place, full of comforts and conveniences; quite shut in with great garden walls that are covered with the best fruit-trees in the country; and such a mulberry tree in one corner! Lord! how Charlotte and I did stuff the only time we were there! Then, there is a dove-cote, some delightful stew-ponds, and a very pretty canal; and every thing, in short, that one could wish for; and, moreover, it is close to the church, and only a quarter of a mile from the turnpike-road, so ’tis never dull, for if you only go and sit up in an old yew arbour behind the house, you may see all the carriages that pass along. Oh! ’tis a nice place! A butcher hard by in the village, and the parsonage-house within a stone’s throw. To my fancy, a thousand times prettier than Barton Park, where they are forced to send three miles for their meat, and have not a neighbour nearer than your mother.

One interesting character, though forgotten because only mentioned in passing, is the Brandon sister. On one of the quotes above we get that she's in Avignon for her health, and we know her husband is wealthy (and probably abroad with her) because it is his estate that the planned picnic is for:

A party was formed this evening for going on the following day to see a very fine place about twelve miles from Barton, belonging to a brother-in-law of Colonel Brandon, without whose interest it could not be seen, as the proprietor, who was then abroad, had left strict orders on that head. The grounds were declared to be highly beautiful, and Sir John, who was particularly warm in their praise, might be allowed to be a tolerable judge, for he had formed parties to visit them, at least, twice every summer for the last ten years. They contained a noble piece of water; a sail on which was to form a great part of the morning’s amusement; cold provisions were to be taken, open carriages only to be employed, and every thing conducted in the usual style of a complete party of pleasure.

It is implied that Brandon and his BIL are in very good terms (and we know he's not afraid of cutting ties with bad relatives), and one can safely guess that at the very least he cares enough about his wife as to have her travel for her health. Another guess can be made about her getting married about 10 years before the events of the book. Whether she lived at home before that, or was at school or somewhere else, it isn't said.

But this way you can feel there's a parallel in a way, between the Brandons and the Tilneys: a greedy, cruel father, a son that follows on his steps, and a younger brother and sister managing the toxicity as best they can. Talking about this with @bad-at-names-and-faces, she brought up the idea that in that scheme, Cathy would be Eliza (if it wasn't her not being an orphan, or a rich heiress, and how that connects with Austen's line about Cathy not being born to be a heroine at the beginning of Northanger Abbey). Certainly part of it is the romantic gothicness of the Brandon backstory, united with NA's commentary on Gothic tropes, but to me it drove home with even greater force how such a situation would break a man; losing Cathy that way would have definitely broken Tilney, and if we had met him 14 years down the line, would he have appeared to the unacquainted much different than Brandon appeared to the Dashwood sisters?

#jane austen #sense and sensibility #Northanger Abbey #colonel brandon #Henry Tilney #these are the spaces in the novel where you can see how Austen's craft evolved and changed #The mystery about Brandon's past works well in the context of keeping the surprises and the twists coming #but it doesn't lend itself easily to relate to the character and understand him properly #which I somewhat delusionally hold onto hope that it would have come across much better in the original epistolary form #Austen is kind of trying to pack a Wuthering Heights size and Tenant introspection levels story #into one and fractions of infodumps within her comedy of manners #And that's really A LOT to put on the plate of your first novel

[thorraborinn]

Hi there! I was wondering, would you know where I could find anything on like, social taboos involving marriage? I wanted to know if there's anything in the sagas or maybe in archaeology/anthropology that touches on forbidden unions. I know the goddess Lofn is cited as one who grants permission to such people to be together, but I wanted to know if we have anything on what these forbidden unions could look like? Off the top of my head, I imagine feuding families to be a good start, but I can't find much else on the subject. Thank you!

Marriages in Old Norse society were arranged by families (usually between the prospective husband and the father or other male relative of the prospective bride), and more for political and economic reasons than for personal ones. Some people were married specifically because their families were feuding, to bring the feud to an end (often the people involved wanted out but failure to retaliate could have consequences; uniting the families could end the feud in a way that saved face. In Old English a woman who is married into an enemy family for this reason is called freoðu-webbe, 'frith weaver'). Frands Herschend went as far as proposing to see women in Iron Age Scandinavia generally as hostages (in the sense that Freyr and Njörðr are hostages in Ynglinga saga). If the sagas are relatively accurate there does seem to have been an understanding that the family should be arranging things such that the woman is happy with the result, but they weren't legally obligated to.

In this kind of situation, a marriage that's forbidden would be basically any that either side of the family, especially the woman's closest male relatives, opposes. The reasons were probably diverse and personal, and not generally based on widespread taboos. Most of it probably had to do with money and social hierarchy.

Feuding certainly played a role here, or rather we should say relations based in reciprocity, whether positive or negative, did. As I said, marriages were sometimes arranged specifically to bring hostile families into a single family and end the conflict, but if one side thought they had the upper hand and stood to gain by continuing the hostilities then they would surely not permit such a marriage. Marriages might also be arranged out of obligation to more powerful people.

In fact, it might be possible to frame any actual social or legal prohibitions on marriage that did exist as protections for the woman from being married off to someone she didn't want, rather than restrictions on her freedom, because she hardly had any. We can surely consider divorce in a similar way, which was permitted in certain circumstances.

The main restriction that we do have evidence for is marrying someone who is too close a relation. There were probably situations where the financially or politically advantageous thing to do is to get two close cousins married to each other and it may have actually happened, but it's illegal in the laws we have a record of. This may have been less regulated in heathen times.

Of course, there could have been culturally-assumed restrictions that weren't formally prohibited in the law. There's speculation that, while a Nordic man marrying a non-Norse woman was not uncommon, happening the other way around was not generally permitted. This is supposedly reflected in the mythology, where the male gods marry jötunn women but the goddesses do not marry jötunn men. However, there is archaeological evidence from the Vendel period that contradicts this (the book I'm getting this from is over 20 years old, so by now there could be contradictory evidence from the Viking age too, but I'm not sure), so if there was ever such an ethnic taboo it must have either not been universal, or developed later. I'll also remind that there is a contradiction in the mythology as well; Gefjun isn't described as marrying a jötunn but she does have kids with one, which scholars do typically count as a violation of an ethnic taboo, sometimes as grounds to reject the myth itself as "impossible" (Lindow's description).

A lot of this may have varied by class. We mostly know about the land-owning class. It's hard to say whether poorer people would have even less freedom over whom they married because of their dependence on land-owners, or if they had more freedom because there was less social and financial stake in it. It seems likely that their marriages weren't as regulated, but their ability to actually move from place to place was the major limiting factor.

I'm not aware of any sources for it, but I have no trouble believing that illegal or otherwise unsanctioned marriage happened. The thing that kept people in line was inheritance. So if people were in a position where they could turn down their inheritance (whether because they had another source of resources or because their families were so poor their inheritance was negligible anyway), and could have a place to live, they could probably just do what they wanted.

So I think for the most part, if we were to picture Lofn's intercession as historical events, we might picture the site of those intercessions as kind of distant from the actual marriage, like opening opportunities to get by while forgoing one's inheritance, or unexpected changes elsewhere in the social network. Or a simpler example would be a woman successfully convincing her father, brother, or other male representative to let her do what she wanted.

This is a little out of step with Snorri's etymological explanation of Lofn's name as related to 'permission' but as I explained here I think the actual etymological meaning of her name was 'hope'.

Of course a lot of heathens read Lofn's description in the Edda as affirming of marriages that deviate from gender and sexual norms, which the text does in fact leave room for but probably isn't what Snorri had in mind. There's a lot of room for speculation about how this may have been relevant in pre-Christian times but it would be difficult to move it beyond speculation.

Unfortunately quite a lot of this is already pretty speculative, because of how much later our sources concerning marriage are than the time when Lofn may have actually been recognized. Frankly, the same applies to our sources for Lofn, and the time when she may have been recognized. If I'm right about the etymology of her name then I think it's at least a partial vindication of Snorri but that does not necessarily mean that his description of her is entirely reliable.

[vedicwhore]

Nakshatrss in relationship observations pt1🫣🫣

Mula tend to self sabotage and can be very destructive a lot in relationships being able to uproot and get rid of partners very suddenly and abruptly but when committed they stay to your side like dogs and are very loyal

Ex. Denzel Washington has been married for 38 years with heavy mula prominence.

Bharanis can be very intensely passionate as if they were going to die almost. In dushtana houses this can bring sexual abuse even. This can make impulsive sexual situations occur. There love language could be physical touch.

Swatis want to be everywhere at once if there partner prevents them to do so they will feel like a caged bird there can be a prominent factor of having problems in relationships because of you always being away doing work, socializing, juggling 3 other things. Rahus involvement will leave your partners intrigued but confused you can be best partner at the most intense level and next you will be gone being next person somewhere else.

Anuradhas have the hardest time in heartbreaks and can experience many. They can start to feel like last choice and be in several love triangles. But they will be one you remember and hold dear or a long period of time. Saturn being its nakshatra lord. It’s suggested to find partner later. There partners can become obsessed and over protective.

Uttaraashada are the most nonchalant towards love. To them it’s almost as if it’s not necessary they can subdue long periods of being single almost without notice. They tend to like things that help with there status/reputation people that can fit they’re “ brand”. Also having very public relationships with famous figures or a famous relationship.

Magha subconsciously very early on thinks family life with partners and if it aligns with there family lineage and its future. They would want respectable partners with from respectful backgrounds. They can have many relationships but take very few seriously as many do not meet there standards of what the best mother/wife should be or husband/father. In their mind they cannot share the throne with just anyone.

Pushya tend to be the most emotionally intelligent and rational in relationships creating a peaceful and nourishing setting in relationships with its stability from saturn rulership. They will be familial in a traditional sense. Can bring emotional balance and comfort to partners lives.

Uttara bhadaprada can have fairytale like love with its mystical combination of Jupiter and Saturn and Venus being exalted in Pisces. It can feel like most experiences with them is dreamlike. Going on the best of dates. Getting to know others in the most intimate but passionate way. Dream girl feeling

#bharani nakshatra #bharani #vedic astrology #revati #revati nakshatra #vedic chart #nakshatras #vedic astro observations #swati nakshatra #swati #anuradha #uttara ashadha #uttara bhadrapada #uttara #mula nakshatra #moola nakshatra #moola #mula #magha nakshatra #magha #astrology #birth chart #hindu vedic #vedic culture

[bumblingbabooshka]

I love Invar!!!!! Her design is wonderful!! I must know more about her!! Were they betrothed as kids? Does she also enjoy anime (or the Vulcan equivalent)? What do Varith’s siblings think of her?? Gah! You’ve done it again!! you’ve made me fall in love with another one of your ocs!! 😩 /pos

Invar is the granddaughter of a member of the Vulcan high council. Her parents are both politically notable and wealthy.  She was raised being heavily praised and harshly criticized in equal measures - particularly by her mother who always compared her very favorably to others by putting them down. (Ex: "I expect you'll do nothing but the best. You are much more intelligent than those classmates of yours.") However if she failed to live up to expectations she was treated harshly, 'like all the rest'. She became very egotistical, frustrated, and crafty due to this treatment. As a child through to her young teens she was an extremely cruel person - often taking pleasure in bullying and causing misfortune for others. It was to a point where every child in her school knew of her and didn't want to upset or be noticed unfavorably by her. Many students stopped going to school temporarily or altogether after being targeted by her. In her teens Invar suddenly became bedridden with an illness and in her absence her classmates began talking about the bullying which was then discovered by teachers and led to her expulsion from school. Because her family is notable, this incident became news. Varith's family was notified of it and asked if they'd like to continue the engagement or not. To everyone's surprise, Varith said she wanted to continue it. This was not only surprising because of the incident but because Varith & Invar's sole meeting had gone poorly, with the two of them getting into a fight after Invar called Varith 'ugly and sickly'. After confirming they would continue their engagement, Varith sent Invar a letter which merely read 'Well, well, well.' along with several tips for alleviating pain. She originally thought this was some sort of cryptic well-wish but even as the call-back insult she originally figured out it was, it was still kinder than anything else that'd been sent to her. Invar was able to recover from her illness and currently works on a Vulcan science vessel. She has a fairly cushy gig on it because of her family's influence - there are always people willing to do a favor or two. She does NOT have any interest in science - it's just a way for her to not be on the planet. She doesn't know why Varith has continued their engagement and wants to know but doesn't want to ask him. She assumes she'll find out when they are married. Varith and Invar earnestly enjoy one another's company and Invar considers Varith her first true friend. She had plenty of 'friends' while she was bullying people but they all stopped seeing her after she became bedridden. She understands this is because she didn't actually befriend them and they were just sticking to her out of fear or desire for material gain but still. Varith's general dynamic with Invar is that he likes to tease her and she's finding that she enjoys being teased by him. However there's also a tenderness there which others don't often see - most thinking one is taking advantage of the other. (depending on who the person likes more). Invar's currently trying to become a better person or at least lead a normal life. She has a Vulcan therapist she sees and she periodically attempts to contact a person she bullied and apologize. Sometimes it goes fine, sometimes it doesn't. She's not a GREAT person now, she hasn't turned her life around and devoted herself to charity but you know.

In general the vibe of Varith's family is 'tensely polite' towards her with the exception of Elieth.

She doesn't like anime. Her favorite things to do when not working are painting ceramics or creating dioramas.

#THANK YOU~!!!! For your interest~!!!! #tuvok-enjoyer #Invar's a tough nut to like (that's the saying right? /joking) but Varith kind of adores her in a weird way #why exactly did he choose to stay with her?? Why indeed <3 #beas ocs #Invar #Q&A #bee doodles #I came up with the idea of her character after thinking about Vulcan bullies! The idea interests me! #star trek oc #vulcan oc #Varith uses 'she/he' pronouns #Invar often complains about her crewmember's competency even though she only got her position through nepotism #bc she loves throwing stones around her glass house

[lovelyherruins]

omg sometimes I forget team black ARE real people and not just mindless bots.

half the issues in hotd didnt even involve alicent, if anything they already existed before she entered the picture. antis says she should've minded her own business but then not mention Harwin, Larys, and Joffrey.

If Harwin just kept it in his pants instead of becoming the crown princess' side hoe (because that's what he is) then the whole Strong boys and arguements wouldn't have happened.

Do I have to explain Larys??

I brought Joffrey up for one reason and it's this:

it wasn't necessary but did it cause the riot that happened? no, you know what did tho? Joffrey openly talking about his and Criston's "relationships" with the people getting married. was that necessary for him to do? no it wasn't because it what world WOULD it be needed for some guy to talk to Kingsguard's secret relationship with the princess?

Those three MEN should've minded their business not alicent. when she asked Rhaenyra questions it was her job or her being a friend which leads me to :

perhaps alicent wasn't but the same thing could be said about Rhaenyra (lying on her mother's grave anyone?? just being over all Brat when Alicent TRIED to fix them??). the thing is they were both in bad situations in which they had little to no control in. Neither can be blamed for how they tried to help themselves or how they acted under pressure as KIDS. people seem to forget that alicent was also a child and always say "she was older in the books!" tell me when you ever picked up that book. the show is clearly different to the books why keep bringing up alicent's age? to justify hating her as a child.

HER PROBLEMS WAS CAUSED BY THE MEN IN HER LIFE!!!!

who forced her to go to the king's chambers and wear her mother's dress? Her dad. Who had the power to NOT marry her but did it anyway? Viserys. Who mistook her (understandable) missing of her father as a reason to kill his father and brother? fucking Larys. Who impregnated her and when she had sons, did nothing to support her or to fix the problems arising with the birth of male heirs? Viserys.

"they were friends not lovers"

friends not lovers, guys!!

friends not lovers.

of course it's never openly stated that they were in love but considering that the actors (who know the characters best) said there was an underlying romance between them and it was purposeful... you can't blame others for shipping them because as they said it was THERE.

while it was a big jump that alicent took with his words, I prefer to see what she did as less of a cunning act and more of an act of desperation. a way to avoid the incoming fighting that'll happen when the word gets out.

I'm not sure if the commenter is blaming the dance on alicent but can we for a second remember that alicent was going against her dad to bring back aegon? the council already had plans to sit aegon at the throne, alicent's misunderstandings did nothing to change that.

if rhaenyra ascending the throne wouldn't have cause a civil war, then Jace ascending it definitely would have because let's not forget being anti-bastard was not a thing Alicent created, everyone was against them.

Team black stans will call themselves feminists and say they support women's rights but when Alicent is shown to them, they scream internalized misogyny and call her a cunt. are you a feminist or do you just like seeing women agree with you and your views? to fit into the mold you made for feminism

alicent is a great example of the oppression of women in any time period and the greatest show of WHY women need feminism, and antis don't even give her grace

they uplift and praise the women who already have power and freedom and put down everyone else who doesn't have those things. that tells me more about their character and beliefs than whatever color they identify as.

#house of the dragon #alicent hightower #anti team black stans #rhaenyra targaryen #rhaenicent #i cant believe im making apost before the 2nd season even starts

[mrtequilasunset]

Whenever I talk about Kim and Harry getting married I inevitably get people in my notes saying things like "they wouldn't get married because no one is married in Revachol anymore" which like sure but also that is definitely a doomer hyperbole. Judit is married, plaisance is married, and Billie and Tommy. Lilienne was married too, and so was Trant. Plenty of people get married in Revachol, and besides that, we know that Harry *wants* to be married. He wanted Dora to be his wife. He still refers to her as his ex-wife and is so incredibly disappointed when he finds out she wasn't. Jean said "no one is married anymore" and that's become like some irrefutable Canon people have adopted but you have to remember Jean is one of the most miserable cunts in the game, of course he's gonna be pessimistic about this *especially* since it was said to Harry, the guy he spends most of the game antagonizing.

I guess my point is that I refuse to believe Harry wouldn't want Kim to wife him up first chance they get just because of a grumpy ass comment made by a dude with the world record for largest stick up ass.

#I promise you its okay to let your faves be sappy I promise you marriage is not actually a crazy concept #just bc the fictional city is a hard fuckin place to live #disco elysium #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #harrykim #kimharry #jean vicquemare #and I'll give a little grace just bc maybe yeah they couldnt get married because of homophobia #but not because no one gets married period #thats a goofy take

[letteredlettered]

I'm still confused by the wedding-industrial complex, tbh

#take proposals #like one day basically shortly after we got together my gf was like I want to marry you #i was like that's nice #then another time not that long after she was like hey we should get married #and i was like um that's nice i'm not ready #and she was like yeah sure okay #so next time we're together in person (because we're long distance) she was like hey I want to marry you #and i was like well there are things we'd have to talk about such as kids and finances and what country to live in #and she was like sure yeah okay #then there was a pandemic and the inability to see each other and a lot of other things including discussions #and then i was like okay yeah i think that's a great idea i'd like to marry you #and she was like that's great i love you we still don't know where to live #and so after that she still periodically says we should get married #and asks me to marry her #and i ask her to marry me #and we always say yes #and eventually figure out where to live and start applying for visas etc etc #but when we mention we're engaged people always ask #how did she do it? #did you know she was going to? #who proposed to who? #like fuck idk when it even happened don't you propose to each other like every other day when you love each other? #and isn't marriage a much bigger decision than a single question #and then like my cousin who coined the term 'wedding industrial complex' told me she was getting married #and i was like cool do you know when the wedding is? #and she was like what? no. he hasn't proposed #and i was like . . . but you know you're getting married? #and she was like yeah we've discussed it and agreed #and i was like sooo....that's not a proposal? #and she was like no because he hasn't asked

[tennessoui]

please write part two to the divorce attorney where they actually get together 😭 im dying, it has me in stitches and i NEED TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS XD

ok maybe i will soon write this (obligatory pause for groans from people who want me to stop finding new things and just finish my old things) but i was thinking about it today and honestly

they meet at a bar after obi-wan's long term girlfriend tells him she can't marry him and they should break up, and this is obi-wan's and anakin's first conversation that isn't in some professional capacity so at first honestly they don't know what to say to one another

but then anakin confesses that he wasn't sure obi-wan would recognize him without a wedding ring, and obi-wan scoffs and is like do you know how many other repeat customers i have?

and anakin is like no? and obi-wan is like just one other. he's been divorced three times. every time, it's been devastating for him.

and anakin is like (pensively) i've been divorced before.

and obi-wan is like uh i know. i'm your divorce lawyer. you've been divorced 29 times.

and anakin goes all quiet and picks at the label of his beer and then he shrugs and he's like. 30 i guess. and once when it mattered.

#asks #divorce lawyer au #obikin #i figure the once was when he and padme divorced #and he just kept getting married and divorced afterwards to make that one first initial flash marriage and following divorce mean less #like a serial killer but no death no type no creepiness just a lot of marriage and then divorce #also i bet when they get married in the period of time when obi-wan wants to get a divorce #he goes to a coffeeshop and anakin is the barista #and anakin gives him his americano for free because of husband privileges #and obi-wan is like you cannot convince me to stay your husband through free coffee beverages #and anakin winks salaciously and is like baby free coffee is just the tip of the husband privilege iceberg #and obi-wan who has refrained from consummating the marriage because hes not an idiot #leaves the coffeeshop very flustered and with the wrong coffee #one point to anakin

[tytrack]

sometimes i see specific people and it feels like they breathe life into me. it feels so invigorating and makes me remember that i live and exist interconnected with other souls and that maybe we were acquainted in another realm too

#saw my friend/classmate who i’m not really close to/he’s not really close with a lot of people #he’s the silent gruff type but he gets so happy when he sees me and i get happy when i see him #i adore him so much…and he’s going to be moving back to turkey soon/get married and it made me realize that certain people in your life are #around for a temporary period like i won’t get to experience our relationship in the same way again #he joked that i could always email him lollllllllll but yeah idk. i’m a lover of people i think the way we create and foster relationships #is one of the most precious things human beings have created #one thing is that i’m always mourning the present. we will never have this moment again. but in that mourning i feel so alive #it also makes me think about all my other relationships that kind of naturally ran their course because of distance or phases in life #and that makes me sad too

[mythicalcoolkid]

All of the things that would be "awkward" for me to do around extended family are really not because of me or anything about the thing itself, but entirely about how my parents stopped telling anyone major information about me after like fifth grade

Like I can't bring have disability aids with me NOT because health stuff is weird but because it's much weirder that I have in fact had significant health problems since I can remember and have been disabled since, generously, 17 (more accurately 11 or 12) and my parents didn't tell anyone. I can't officially come out NOT because people would be weird about it (they would but I don't care) but because that would necessitate admitting that I've been living socially as male for going on ten years now and my parents never said anything and had me just. Pretend I wasn't. Like it's so funny now that I've had so many huge life changes that I CAN'T talk about it because the inevitable follow-up is "wait. This has been going on HOW long...?"

#m/cc #yeah I transitioned and have been living stealth as a man for nearly a decade (probably pretty obvious honestly #you have to at least have thought I was a lesbian unless you chalked it up to like. kids these days or something) #but yeah I've used a cane for a year or two now because my physical health kept declining #you know. from the long term health conditions I've been dealing with since I was 10? #you know the big health scare I had like four years ago with the genetic condition? and five years ago when I almost died? #we think some of the issues were caused or exacerbated by malnourishment when I was a kid. oh yeah I was neglected and abused #and severely underweight. that's why I was so weird as a kid. I also had neurodevelopmental issues but I didn't see a doctor about it #until I was an adult. yeah I had a lot of medical issues go untreated for disturbingly long periods. even really simple ones #I think my lungs are weird from how often I had bronchitis haha I just always had a sore throat for years too #there's some suspicion from professionals that I might've been involved in like covert organized crime activity. it's been really traumatic #but anyway I'm moving out west with my fiancé. yeah I'm gay and I'm getting married we've been together for years <3 #happy Thanksgiving! <3 #I. might delete this post not gonna lie

[britneyshakespeare]

He won't leave my fucking friends alone.

#tales from diana #sorry this is about that bad friend i have to break up w that ive posted abt on and off the past couple weeks/months maybe #i still have to send him that final 'i dont wanna speak to you ever again' #ive been fucking busy ok. my summer has been full of family events and obligations #i have one brother getting married and the other having a baby!!! i have a LIFE and SHIT TO DO and PPL TO BE THERE FOR other than YOU!!! #i havent spoken to him in over 2 months too and he knows it's bc i don't want to #he's so difficult bc you can't fucking tell him the truth. you can't!!! he can't handle it!!! do you know how hard it is to handle??? #the things i have to do to cut him off. because he doesn't respect normal fucking boundaries. make ME feel like im in the wrong #like im the shady person and the liar. #i can't drift from him bc hell pull me back #i can't communicate w him bc he won't hear anything i have to say he'll just turn it around & make it abt himself. #he literally does not understand ppl having motivations to do things that don't relate to him #and he has no sympathy for what he does to other ppl. nothing but self-pity for how they don't like him anymore. #if he dealt w someone who put him through half of what he put ME through. no he couldn't actually. #i only allowed him to manipulate me for so long because i cared abt him. who i thought he was. #and he just point blank period doesn't care about other ppl. so he could never go through what ive gone through w him. #i feel like all this friend breakup has proven to me is that im actually a good person and it can be used against me by ppl who arent #some fucking lesson i needed to learn huh? #i hate feeling as negatively towards anyone as i do towards him. it's so hard for me not to have at least #a little spark of hope deep down for everyone. even ppl ive removed from my life before. i dont HATE them #theyve disappointed me or insulted me or mistreated me but at least their motivations seemed simple and clear #and MOST of them seemed to understand SOMEWHAT that they were in the wrong #even if they don't admit it to me or still find an excuse to hate me. whatever #i can see them as ppl who might feel remorse someday and grow from it #i do not see it in this guy. bc if you have a problem w him he'll only make it 20 times worse. #he's so selfish it genuinely baffles me to think about it. and he's one of the least honest ppl ive ever known. #he'll never see the error of his ways. i do not believe he has that capacity. #and will i say none of this to him? no #im just going to say thanks for leaving me alone these past couple months. it's been good for me. #i don't think i can continue our friendship anymore for my own sake.

[honeyed-heartache]

I will be honest. I am having a hard time.

#last month we had to move my boyfriend very quickly into a new apartment because his lease was not renewed #and I had to use almost all my savings on that #my mom got married last week and she’s really bad at planning #so I had to pick up a lot of slack for her #I got shafted on my shift bid and am starting it today #it’s 12:30 to 9 Monday thru Thursday #this is the worst shift I could’ve gotten #which means my stats are terrible and I’m lucky I’m keeping my job #but also they tell me they like me? Idk how to feel #plus my bf works nights and has trouble waking up #so I’m terrified he’s going to get fired if I’m unable to be there to wake him up #I still work my second job one day a week which does not pay nearly as well #but if this new schedule destroys my life I will have to go back to it #I feel like such a failure #also don’t remember when I got my period last #I’m terrified of everything right now #I’ve taken a few pregnancy tests in the last couple weeks and they’ve all been negative but my god #idk what I’m gonna do if that happens #personal

[fideidefenswhore]

Many who knew Henry well seem to have responded to him not just with awe, but with affection. Charles Brandon was, in 1509, just an esquire in the old king's funeral procession, but he rose to become duke of Suffolk on the basis of friendship with Henry, and ended as his brother-in-law. Thomas Cranmer, for whom the king caused many difficulties, held his hand as he lay dying, and seems to have mourned him sincerely. More remarkably, his discarded wives could still speak of him with devotion. Katherine of Aragon wrote in her last letter to him, 'Lastly, I make this vow, that mine eyes desire you above all things.' Anne Boleyn, on the scaffold, said to the crowd, 'I pray God save the king and send him long to reign over you, for a gentler nor a more merciful prince was there never, and to me he was ever a good, a gentle, and sovereign lord.' Anne of Cleves, often to be held to be the lucky one who escaped his clutches without harm, remained his friend for the rest of his life. These levels of attachment should warn us not to make easy assumptions.

Tudor England: A History, Lucy Wooding

#lucy wooding #ok so... a lot to unpack here and please no one reblog this to add stuff before reading my tags lol #bcus i don't entirely agree here but i do think she makes some salient points; and im going to get into it #1) so the example of catherine and AB...setting aside the debated veracity of catherine's letter #(and you can set it aside #she could make this argument different primary sources and it would still stand #like when catherine was informed henry married anne she literally refused to believe it. she said in his great wisdom he would #never do such a thing. so there is a degree of hero-worship even years into her exile and repudiation) #you can't really ignore the circumstances #which is that they have survivors they're leaving behind and they knew that and it would ultimately ; inevitably factor into what they #chose to be their last words.... #that being said i don't think you can dismiss them as mere sycophancy / appeal to his better nature either #because last words were considered and are still considered; sacrosanct #it's not a time to lie or even equivocate the truth #i always think of starkey's line for anne's: knowing anne one might suspect satire but the moment was too serious for that' #and i would agree with that #i think it was all bound together: 1) an appeal for elizabeth's welfare and 2) a truth in part #or a truth that had been rather* . she does . maybe more significantly than has been recognized. use the past tense here #he must have been that to her for some period of time #when he stopped being so has been debated by historians ever since #he never was; or right after their marriage #or immediately after elizabeth was born. or immediately after her first miscarriage. or second . etc #anyway so tl; dr while i don't think it's quite as simple as what she's outline here and there are facets to all of the above #i do agree with the general thrust of what she's saying here #which is that...you know. henry was admired and loved by some very admirable people #so there must have been things to love about him #much as that is hard to reconcile with what we know about him and what he did. #that has to be acknowledged and given weight if our understanding of this era and court is ever #to be worth half a salt.

[caramiaaddio]

literally can’t wait for everyone around me to chill it with the whole being happy and in love thing because I am now in a constant state of pining for my ex

#the logical part of me knows I need to move on! the feelings are not mutual! it’s been years if it was going to happen it would have! #face the reality that you’re the only one still missing what you had and move on!!!! #but then I see people getting married and having babies and all my dumb stupid heart can think is #‘hey remember when you thought you were gonna have that with your ex? but now you can’t? because your feelings are unrequited?’ #and then it’s just me thinking about my ex and pining in the middle of a bridal shower #it’s the perfect storm of hey I’m still a little in love and will probably be for the rest of my life #and also the pure insecurity of someone loving me until I became who I am now #and it’s like was it my personality? was it my body? am I just unlovable? #idk its just getting bad again I went to the movies and all I could think about was our first real date and our first kiss #down absolutely tremendous #so if people could stop being in love so I could focus on other things. that would be great #although honestly it’s kind of a periodic thing now like every couple months I’ll have a period of pining

[bumblingbabooshka]

Tuvok’s Children

#[REDACTED] family shenanigans #yeah I switched the birth order around so Asil's the third born instead of the last #Also her marriage status is 'complicated' because she's currently contractually married to a ferengi woman and there's drama as to whether #it's real or not (she got contract-married to her over the course of a case) #All of Tuvok's children care deeply about each other and get along well for the most part v_v #they have a bunch of different idealogies and opinions etc but they all respect each other a great deal #Sek #Elieth #Asil #Varith #an inside joke between them is how humans typically only pronounce Sek's name right on the first try 'If their tongue doesn't slip' #Sek is really making up for all his siblings in the 'give me grandchildren' arena #Elieth met Ione Kitain while working and the two of them hit it off right away but they were both engaged #One day he caught word that she was going to get married and he immediately flew to Betazed and went to see her. One conversation later and #they were engaged instead v_v (his family found it DEEPLY embarrassing - everyone else who hears it finds it terribly romantic. #Except the spurned groom of course~) Elieth's betrothed dissolved their bond without fanfare since she kind of didn't want to marry him #uhh Varith has one of Mollie's puppies (grown now) which Mark gave him and she acts as sort of a service dog ! #And Sek took care of their mother when she fell into a depression for a period of time after Voyager was lost #Also - I personally wanna know how they all reacted to that holonovel the doctor wrote about Voyager #hhehee like they meet him in person and Sek's like 'Ah. The Hologram who slandered our father.' #bea art tag #st voyager #st voyager art #star trek #Everyone should have their own little Tuvok family in their minds...!! Each one is precious and good~!! #OH ALSO #Sek is the oldest but shorter than all everyone but Varith (and T'Pel)