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passable-talent · 3 years

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ya boi is back with a new niche character played by hayden christensen for yall to enjoy.

CW: blood, wounds, cursing, piercings, tattoos, guns, fighting, deaths of unnamed characters

AJ x gn!reader - Takers (2010). the stupid hat grew on me.

dedicated as always to @haydens-moles and @iscariot-rising for being my friends and for appreciating hayden as much as I do

The story of your life, as you loved to explain it, boiled down to a little math joke. Excited five, you called it, or it’s official terminology- five factorial. Written as “5!”, hence the awful pun.

“Factorials,” you’d say, “for those that don’t remember, are a multiplication of every number up to the one that’s being discussed. As such, five factorial is five, times four, times three, times two, times one.”

Your life, your excited five, was as follows: five major scars, four tattoos, three piercings, two eyebrow slits.

“The one is usually ignored,” you’d say, “as it makes no multiplicative difference. That’s why I don’t have a ‘one’.”

In August, 2009, you got your ‘one’. Its a doozy. But we’re not there yet.

~~~

Five major scars.

December 25, 1983. It’s your first Christmas. Your parents think you’re just being a cranky infant, but something way more serious is going on- they find out the next day that you’ve got RSV, a respiratory virus that’s especially dangerous for infants. You spend the next three years periodically using a ventilator whenever the coughing acts up. You don’t remember much of it, other than the vaguely crayon-looking piece of the machine, but you can’t forget that it happened, due to the pretty white scar over the bridge of your nose. It’s not such a gnarly wound as it is a reminder- not of the ventilator that wore through your skin thanks to frequent use, but of the virus that almost took your life only a few months after it had begun.

July 28, 1993. You’re seven years old, staying at your grandmother’s house with your cousin, who’s six months older than you. You’re playing cops and robbers- he’s the cop. The forest streaks by as you run the length of the property, slightly faster than him, but he catches you and throws you down. You land on your back on a jagged rock, not only painfully impacting your spine but digging deeply into your muscles beside it. It was the first hospital visit you remember, and the dark, long scar halfway between your tailbone and your shoulders reminds you never to fall without controlling it.

January 15, 1998. You’re in sophomore year of high school, and not the most popular. You like to play by the rules, and some asshole junior decides that he doesn’t like the way you won’t let him cheat off of your trigonometry homework, and decides that a knife is the best way to settle the problem. Those homework answers weren’t worth the long white line over all four of the knuckles of your left hand, but it is a pretty little reminder that lowlifes do what they want. And law enforcement, or whatever your school called the ‘anti-bullying league’, does jack shit about it.

October 30, 2002. You’re almost done with your certification to become a cop- thank god. You couldn’t stand the people who were to become your graduate class. They were so ready to become cops just to bully people, just to get to weild an iron fist and hide their bloodlust behind the law. Not you- you’re here to do some real good. That’s what they don’t like about you. And that’s why Fred Young splits open your cheek when just he’s supposed to be practicing his sparring. It’s an ugly scar, needed six stitches, but it’s a reminder that even the cops aren’t always the good guys.

May 14, 2004. You’re a new cop, working under detective Wells. There’s a robbery of a jewelry store a few blocks from where you’re patrolling, and as you’re making your way to the scene, a man in a fedora runs smack into you, taking you both to the ground. Broken glass digs into your shoulder, but he apologizes, and his blue eyes look so genuine. He’s afraid. You’d not realize until a month later that he wasn’t a scared bystander, but in fact one of the thieves. The fifth of your scars matches your first meeting with AJ- who would, by the end of the summer, become one of the most important people in your life.

~~~

Four tattoos.

August 4, 1999- Left wrist, inside knob of the bone. The little symbol had represented something to you when you were sixteen, but it had long lost whatever meaning you’d given it. Now, it was just a pattern to pass your thumb over whenever you got restless.

February 16, 2002- The cap of the right shoulder. It was your bunk number, from when you were training to be a cop. Nothing extravagant, but it was supposed to represent the beginning of the rest of your life- it was supposed to represent your calling.

June 1, 2004- Left arm, the outside of the forearm. Bleeding from your first tattoo was a new one, the largest one on your body. It was geometrical and high contrast, black lines loosely following your veins up toward your elbow, as though that left hand was bringing darkness into your body. It did- you shot with your left hand.

July 17, 2004- Right collarbone. A single, circular monogram, made up of six letters.

T A K E R S.

~~~

Three piercings.

April 7, 1989. Your father took you to get your ears pierced, but insisted upon arrival that it was too expensive to get both done, so you only got your left. The assymetrical style would have to grow on you- at six years old, you hated it.

May 19, 2003. You couldn’t have piercings at the academy, they were unprofessional, they were dangerous. So the night of graduation, you went out and got a hole punched into your nostril- the pain made tears well up, but more than anything, it was the satisfaction of giving a pretty little ‘fuck you’ to your superiors, who you’d never see again.

July 18, 2006. AJ takes you to a fancy beauty salon for an eyebrow bar after hearing maybe once that you’d wanted another piercing. You knew you were in love with him- who else in your life had ever paid such close attention to you?

~~~

Two eyebrow slits.

June 23, 2004. You leave the police force. You tell Wells that it’s because you’re pissed you can’t find the guys that robbed the jewelry store, but that’s not even close to the truth. You’ve found them- hell, you got a good look at one of them on the very day of the robbery. But you’ve done the looking, and didn’t have the heart to bring them in. They had families. They donated ten percent of every heist to a charity. They did more for the community than the police you worked for, and they did it clean- they didn’t hurt anybody, if they didn’t have to. They did what you’d hoped to do, when you joined the force. What you’d never gotten to do. Eyebrow slits were considered extremely unprofessional, so the moment you were free of your two week notice, you split open your right eyebrow. It would give a good balance to the bar piercing you hoped to put through your left someday.

March 4, 2007. You’re cleaning up your slit when AJ walks into the room and stands behind you so that you can see him through the mirror. You keep your eyes on the trimmer you’re so delicately running over your skin, but when he opens up a little felt box with a pretty ring inside, you whirl around with such panic that you make the slit approximately half an inch wider than it should’ve been. Lilli helped you fill in the gap for the engagement photos, but you decided to keep a second slit on the other end of the unfortunate shave- a little reminder of the evening in which he proposed to you.

~~~

“The one is usually ignored,” you’d say, “as it makes no multiplicative difference. That’s why I don’t have a ‘one’.”

On August 27, 2009, you got your ‘one’.

You’d been out of the game for two years, choosing not to take a cut of the winnings. You’d advise, you’d plan, you’d set up, but you did not want to be on site when the heist went down. The boys had it taken care of, and you butted heads with Jesse far too often for anyone’s comfort.

You especially couldn’t work on this project, thanks to a little fucker named Ghost- he didn’t trust you, as a member of the Takers he’d never met, and you didn’t trust him, as a criminal you’d never grown to respect.

You knew that most of them didn’t trust Ghost either, but everything he brought forward checked out- AJ must’ve mumbled the plan thirty times in his sleep in the five days from its suggestion to its fruition. There were no holes. Knowing Gordon and John, they had some ‘insurance’ for Ghost, anyway. In case it went wrong.

Still, you stayed at the Hotel Roosevelt through it all. You were their sitter, keeping the hotel room warm and ready for their arrival. They arrived back one by one- and like usual, AJ got there first. He, Gordon, and John were usually the first to get out, but he always made it back to the room first, because that way he could get some time with you. That way, he could have a private reunion, fresh off of a job.

“Hey, baby,” he said as he closed the door, and you waited for him to turn his eyes to you before you gave him a smile. He threw down his bag onto one of the chairs, and it landed with a heavy thump, but you’d long grown used to the sound of the score. However much he pulled, good for him. You were just happy to slip your arms around his neck and feel him kiss the scar on your cheekbone before sliding his lips to yours.

He always kissed different right after a job- before the boys had all gotten back, before the total was counted. He had a confidence to his movement, but there was fear, insecurity, just a tinge. He wasn’t just a taker, he was a man, who had worries and risks just like every other man.

You were out of the game for a few reasons. They had it taken care of. You butted heads with Jesse. You didn’t trust Ghost. But you knew that you were AJ’s biggest fear- you knew that if you got hurt on a job, he’d never forgive himself.

So he kissed you, he held you close, he reminded himself that you were here, you were fine. His long fingers seems to take up half your back, and his hair was already in his face, as though you’d tugged it there yourself.

With just one more pass of your lips over his, you pulled away.

“How’d it go?” You asked with a soft voice, rolling your first finger through the curls at the back of his neck.

“Could’ve gone better,” he said with a chuckle, “but we got it done.” You heard a knock at the door, and Gordon was the next arrival- then John, then Jake, then Ghost. Jesse came last, and with him, a whole host of new problems.

A bullet splintered the door and caught AJ somewhere under the ribcage. Everyone hit the floor, diving behind couches, and you popped your head up long enough to see AJ launch over the kitchen island. The room shattered into gunfire and feathers from expensive pillows, glass shards littering the ground like raindrops. It all moved so fast, and the air exploded into noise. You could barely track AJ through it all, he was so far away, all the way across the room. And you wanted to keep your eye straight down the barrel of your gun.

“AJ!” Jesse called from beside you, hidden behind a brown leather couch, “You okay?” You looked around the side of it, and saw him ten feet from you, the longest ten feet of your life, behind the kitchen island. He was struggling, on his hands and knees.

“Get up,” you snarled, knowing he’d already taken a hit.

“Out the back!” John ordered from the doorway behind you, and you started to realize the moment, the dangerous, heavy moment. AJ was all the way across the room- he couldn’t cross it. Not with these mobsters holding ground.

“Let’s go!” Gordon shouted, and your eyes connected with AJ’s. He saw the same thing you did.

“Go,” he said, voice calm, and it cut through the chaos of the room, cut through every hardened lesson ever pounded into you, cut through every wall you’d ever built around you, around your heart. “I’m coming.”

AJ was a good liar. But he couldn’t lie to you.

“No,” you growled through gritted teeth, and you made a rash decision.

You’d always been good at gymnastics. You had strong control over the movement of your body, and had, ever since you’d learned from your cousin throwing you down onto that stone that split open your back. You could move and slink and roll and dive in ways that would keep you not only from falling, but even from being noticed.

Using the chaos as your cover, you did a tight diving roll across the room to him, slipping between shelters unscathed. This brought you just a bit closer to the mobsters, but further from the back door exit that Gordon had been trying to guide you toward. You’d chose AJ over your safety any day- the surprise and the fear in his eyes said that he wished you wouldn’t.

Making sure you had enough ammo, you considered your final move- this didn’t end until these mobsters did. There were five of them left, after all this commotion: four in the room, one in the hall. You couldn’t take all five, not with their guns being so much more than yours, but you could take out a few. You could shift attention, you could buy time.

And hopefully, you could stay breathing, too. That’d be nice.

“Stay down,” you hissed, leaving AJ behind the island where he’d be forgotten about, or assumed dead. Then, you rounded the corner and rolled to the feet of the closest mobster. As you came out of the roll you caught his legs in yours, wrenching them from under him and taking him to the ground with one of the first moves you’d learned in basic training. He hit the wall hard, and was unconscious by the time he landed- the same could not be said for his friends.

From your right, you could see Gordon, still firing, still hopeful for your and AJ’s escape. Your shoulders were above the couch, so you knew he saw as you turned your weapon to the second mobster before he could turn to you, and stopped his heart.

Your commotion had caught the attention of the other three who still remained. You whirled around and raised your gun to one of them, but they managed it first.

Gordon had to swallow back his horror as he saw a bullet enter the front of your side profile, and blood explode from the back. He took out the mobster who still had his attention on you- but your shoulders smacked to the ground outside of his view, and he closed the door.

Luckily, their aim was spotty. You now had a useless left arm, but you were still breathing. Not that you’d let the one remaining mobster notice that.

You and AJ played dead, only a few feet from each other, but the kitchen island becoming a thicker wall than any you’d ever been split by. As you stared blankly at the ceiling, taking shallow breaths hidden by the folds of your shirt, you hoped he didn’t think you were dead. You hoped he wasn’t bleeding out.

After what felt like agonizingly long minutes, the shooting finally stopped, and the door opened again. Gordon was the first to enter the room, and rounded the couch to you, grief in his eyes, expecting the worst.

But you could give him a smile.

“Surprise,” you groaned, and he lit up in relief, helping you sit up with your good arm.

“Look at you, playing dirty,” he said with a laugh, “I thought you were gone for sure.”

“AJ,” you heard Jake say from across the room, and finally AJ could sit up from where you’d forced him down. The two of you had both bled straight through your shirts, but there wasn’t any time for sweet reunions- everyone had to get out, and fast.

AJ left his car wherever it was. John gave the two of you a ride to the airstrip where Gordon was going to disappear for a while, and on the way you and AJ attempted to give each other first aid until the personnel on the plane could take care of it.

Eventually, you leaned against his left, and he against your right, your wounds still stinging and sticky with blood, but manageable, for as long as they needed to be.

The night didn’t get any easier, but that didn’t matter- you were home free, they’d managed the job, and Ghost was out of the picture, and neither of you were going to die.

And someday, when you felt brave enough to recount your near-death, near-loss, near-jailed experience, you’d say:

Five major scars, four tattoos, three piercings, two eyebrow slits. And one gun shot wound.

-🦌 Roe

#reader insert #angst #aj #aj takers #takers #takers 2010 #hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #x reader #gn!reader #aj x reader #fics

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imaginedisish · 5 years

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Happy Together (Five Hargreeves x Reader) (The Umbrella Academy)

A/N: OOOOHHH MY GOOODNESS HELLO EVERYONE!!! So before y’all read...lemme say that Five is not 13/14/15 in this imagine!!!! He is a normal 20 something year old human...and so is the reader!!! This is kinda like an alternative universe sorta thing...idk...it was a request. (also my 17 year old self has a huge crush on Aidan Gallagher now uwu...he’s turning 16 this year...and we’re like a year apart so ITS OKAY YALL CHILLLLLLLL) I love The Umbrella Academy...and more imagines will be coming. ALSO THANK YOU FOR 900 FOLLOWERS AHHHHH!!!! Okay...now enjoy :)

Summary: After altering the timeline to save your life, Number Five gets in some trouble with The Commission...which prompts a not-so-welcomed visit from The Handler.

Warnings: LANGUAGE, angst, blood, fighting, implied violence/murder, FLUFFFFFFFFF

Word Count: 2,413 holy shit i went IN LADIES AND GENTS

Rays of sun reach their fingertips through the ancient curtains above you. The dust particles that had accumulated upon the books surrounding you glow as each individual spec basks in the light. To your right, sitting properly next to you on the plush couch, was a well-read copy of The Great Gatsby, your favorite novel.

You look down at the coffee that rested between your hands, the steam radiating off of it slowly dissipating, cueing you to finally take a sip of the bitter liquid. Grace hums a tune as she passes through the dark library, duster in hand.

“Grace,” You call out, and Grace immediately stops to face you, “Do you know where Five is?” Just as Grace opens her mouth to answer your question, a loud clanging sound erupts from above you.

“Goddamn it!” A familiar voice shouts, followed by the violent thumping of footsteps down the stairs.

The footsteps continue, the sound of the dress shoes against the cold tile echoes throughout the academy, until finally Five appears in front of you. He looks disheveled, exhausted, and incredibly angry. You hadn’t seen him like this since you saved the world together. He looked so distraught, something was clearly wrong.

Five begins to pace back and forth, his hands traveling to rub his eyes every now and then. You want to say something, but you know he’s far too lost in thought to answer. Finally, Five stops, and walks towards the bar at the end of the library.

You hear Five rummaging through the bottles of liquor. You turn around to see an expensive bottle of whiskey in his right hand. With his left, he grabs a short, crystal glass, and he begins to pour away.

“F-five, is everything okay?” You ask quietly. Five stops his pouring, and slams the bottle of whiskey on the counter.

He looks up at you, a vulnerable haze of fear presents itself across Five’s face before once again masking itself in an angry and distant gaze. “Everything is just golden,” Five remarks sarcastically, taking a generous swig of alcohol from his glass.

You decide to ignore his tone as to not start a fight with him, and instead stand up from the couch and walk over to him. You pull out a stool, and sit down. Five remains where he is, on the other side.

“Are you going to tell me what happened, or am I going to make it come out of you?” You ask, jokingly. That was your power, you had the ability to make people tell the truth. You could also read minds and freeze time, which made you a perfect foil to Five, who could move through it.

“It’s The Commission…” Five trails off, taking another sip of his whiskey. “They know what we did.” Your jaw drops. How the hell did they find out so quickly? You think to yourself.

A month ago, you and Five had altered the timeline. To be more specific, Five had altered the timeline in order to save your life. While searching for Five, who had saved the world from the apocalypse once and for all, the Commission came across you. They knew that you were important to Five, and decided to kidnap and torture you.

When Five had found you, it was far too late. But, that was a thing of a past. It was a memory that you were never able to experience, since Five took it upon himself to change the timeline and save your life.

You two had grown close since Five had met you, since he had helped you learn to use your powers. But, you didn’t realize how much you meant to him. He risked so much by altering the timeline, and that was becoming increasingly evident.

“Look, things can’t be that bad,” You say reassuringly. “There has to be some sort of way to fix th-,”

Five cuts you off. “No, things aren’t bad, they’re terrible. They’re going to kill me,” Five’s voice is firm and filled with anger. “Or worse…” His voice is soft as he trails off, his eyes drifting down to the glass of whiskey on the counter.

“Or worse, what?” You ask as you search Five’s dark brown eyes for some sort of an answer.

But he gives you none, shaking his head in contempt, refusing to say a thing. He picks his drink up, and begins to walk towards the other side of the room. Just as you think he’s about to stop, the pacing begins again. You roll your eyes.

“Five, stop, let’s talk about-,”

Five cuts you off a second time. “There’s nothing to talk about, (Y/N)!” Five shouts, his eyes widening. “Things are going to absolute shit!” He knocks back a final, generous swig of whiskey before violently slamming the empty glass on the end table to his left. Five darts back towards you. “We lost! Don’t you get it? They’ve won! They’re going to find me, or you, a-and, a-and…”

You shake your head. “You’re being ridiculous, Five,” You pause for a second, collecting your thoughts before continuing. “You just need to calm down, we haven’t lost just yet, we haven’t even started fighting.”

“And there’s no point in fighting back to begin with. They know you’re here, they know everything, (Y/N),” Five says, swallowing harshly as he closes his eyes tightly. “And don’t tell me to calm down.”

You scoff. “I’m just trying to help. We can fix this-,”

“Stop! No we can’t! I’m going to lose you. Don’t you understand that?” Five yells, his voice booming throughout the library. Silence looms over the room. You don’t know what to say. “I can’t lose you…not again. I just can’t,” Five finally croaks.

Your heart flutters in your chest at his words. “Five you aren’t going to lose me,” You say, your voice is soft and sweet as a smile stretches across your face.

“On the contrary, darling, I think he just might!” A sarcastic, shrill voice rings from the opposite end of the room. You look to where the voice came from. A tall, gray haired woman stands near the fireplace, holding a gun in her hand. “Hello, Number Five. Long time no see.” Her smile is wide, almost reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat.

“I swear to god if you touch her,” Five points a finger in the woman’s direction, “I won’t hesitate to take you down, for real. In fact I thought Hazel already did that for me,” Five taunts.

The woman cackles loudly. “Oh Five!” She slaps her knee. “God you crack me up! You know silly stuff like bullets, or grenades,” She raises an eyebrow, “can’t kill me. But it can kill you, or her.” The woman nods her head towards you, aiming her gun at your chest.

A shot rings out, and a flash of light appears in front of you as Five pops in front of the woman, pulling his arm back to punch her in the face. But, before anything happens, you close your eyes tightly, clutching both hands into fists. Suddenly, time freezes. You walk forward towards Five. The bullet is inches away from his chest, suspended in thin air. You push it to the right, making sure that when time starts up again, it won’t even have the chance to hit him.

The woman scoffs, surprised at your abilities. “Who the hell are you?” She asks, staring you down.

“(Y/N), Number 8, also known as Eon, and you’re about to be so fucked,” You stare deeply into her eyes as you begin to search the woman’s mind. Her alias is The Handler, she’s killed thousands of people, and she isn’t one bit scared of you in this moment.

Well, that’s about to change completely, You think to yourself. You tighten your hold on her mind, and you watch as the Handler winces in pain.

Part of your mind reading ability was to allow the person you were reading to relive the memories you came across as you searched his or her mind. In this case, you went for the traumatic experiences; for instance, murders, attacks, and other crimes The Handler committed, watched, or experienced. You had found through previous ventures that making someone relive the past was overwhelming and draining, to the point of death.

God I hope this works, You think to yourself, taking a deep breath as you swallow harshly. You had one shot, one chance to make this work. You begin to search through her mind, picking out memories that seemed horrendous, even to you.

“Wh-what the hell are you d-doing?” She stutters, her fingertips reaching up to either side of her head. You force her to see each and every person she’s ever killed, which slowly but surely begins to have an impact on her. “S-stop,” The Handler pleads. “I-It h-hurts.”

But regardless of her pleas, you don’t let go. The gun in The Handler’s hand falls to the ground as she begins to tremble. You don’t know how much longer you can stay where you are. Your grasp on time begins to weaken, and things slowly start to move again. You’re losing energy.

“F-fuck,” You whimper, trying your best to stay strong. You search deeper into The Handler’s mind, seeing even more murders, more traumatic experiences, forcing her to relive each and every one.

The Handler screams out in pain. “Shit!” She screeches, collapsing down to the ground. She wheezes, and coughs roughly. Her breathing weakens, just as you thought it would.

“How does it feel?” You manage to shout, regardless of the fact that it feels as though every ounce of energy has been drained from your body. You continue on nonetheless.

“I-I c-can’t b-breathe,” The Handler chokes, grabbing her throat. “S-stop…” Her eyes flutter shut. “I-I’ll l-let y-you l-live…” She struggles to speak as her eyes open up again.

“Bullshit,” You say firmly, walking closer to her. “Any last words?” You question, going deeper into The Handler’s mind one final time. Her body seems to tense up, and she writhes in pain one last time.

“I-I’ll b-be b-back, k-kid…t-trust m-me….I always e-end up c-coming b-back…” She trails off, her eyes shutting tightly. Then, the writhing stops. The tension in The Handler’s body seemingly disappears. Her body goes completely limp. You did it. It was all over. She was gone.

You let go of your hold on The Handler, since there was no longer anything to see or do in her mind. It was blank, a black hole if you will. You let go of time, and things begin to move yet again. You collapse to your knees, absolutely exhausted.

“(Y/N)?” Five calls out, and you hear the bullet you had directed away from Five hit into the wall. “What the hell happened?” Five chuckles a bit. You feel his hand rub up and down against your back.

“I-I took care of things…” You say, breathing heavily. “You don’t have to worry about her anymore, or at least I don’t think you will.” You look up at Five, a confused expression spread across his face.

“How did you…” Five doesn’t know what to say as his eyes frantically search yours for some sort of an answer.

“I made her relive every shitty thing she ever did, or experienced. It wasn’t a silly thing, that did the bitch in,” You explain nonchalantly. “It was natural causes, in a sense. She did it herself.”

Five smiles widely, his brown eyes catching rays of light. Just as quickly as his smile appeared, it slips away. “They could still come after us…” Five trails off nervously, standing up and walking towards the bar.

You shake your head, gathering your strength and following behind him. “Don’t worry about that, okay? With The Handler gone, things will be easier. We can take down whoever stands in our way.” Your voice is calm and reassuring.

Five stops in his tracks, his eyes studying your face thoroughly. “All I can do is worry. Just because she’s gone doesn’t mean I won’t lose you,” Five says, his voice firm, yet still laced with fear. “I care about you too much to lose you again. Last time, my heart…it…” Five can’t seem to finish his sentence as his voice becomes shaky. His eyes become glossy, and he turns around so you can’t see his face.

“You can talk to me Five. Please, just tell me what happened,” You beg, walking closer to him, extending a hand out towards his, your fingers colliding with Five’s.

He turns around to face you. “Fuck I hate feelings…” Five complains before continuing on. He takes a deep breath. “My heart felt like it stopped beating. I-I sobbed over y-you…” Five tightly closes his eyes shut, a single tear falling down is cheek. He wipes it away with his free hand. “I can’t go through that again. I won’t, I refuse to. I care far too much about you…I-I…” Five looks down at the ground and back up towards you. He steps closer to you, the gap between you and he closing. His eyes drift back and forth between your eyes and your lips.

Suddenly, a pair of soft, warm lips come crashing down on yours. The kiss is slow and languid. You can’t help but smile against Five’s lips. This was something you had wanted for such a long time.

You’re left wanting more as Five’s lips part from yours. He smiles widely as he steps back from you. You’re almost a bit shocked, as Five rarely ever shows affection to anyone.

“I didn’t know how to say how I’ve been feeling,” Five explains. “You know I’m terrible at emotional shit, but (Y/N), you make things seems so natural. I’m happy when I’m with you.”

A smile stretches across your face. “So let’s be happy together, then. You don’t have to hide things. We can be a team.”

Five nods, grinning as he closes the gap between you two once more. “Happy…together…two words that I’d never thought I’d use to describe my life.”

“Well I suppose you’ll just have to expand your vocabulary, then Five,” You say sarcastically, giggling lightly.

“I suppose so, (Y/N).”

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sinplisticshawn · 4 years

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get your kicks - prologue: home

pic cred shawnmendesgallery

A/N: hello hello happy new year friends!!!!! this shitshow of a story is brought to u by my procrastination and @evansweaters ’s 2k writing challenge. i haven’t written in a loooooong ass time, but i really wanna get back into it so even if it sucks im kinda okay with that. gotta start somewhere!!!! so yeah here we go. hope i do ya proud sami.

prompt: road trip au + shawn mendes (ft. college!shawn and best friend!shawn)

warnings: language, some heavy-handed exposition pls forgive me lol

word count: 1.7k

______

Amelina had fully expected the house to be empty when she walked in. Four in the afternoon on a Thursday meant her parents were both still at work, and if she remembered correctly, Luis would still be in his last period history class that he raved about every time he called. All of this in mind, she found it completely fair that she screamed bloody murder when all six feet and two inches of white man greeted her with a tackle from behind and a shout of her name.

“Shawn, you absolute ass, what are you doing?” she questioned with a glare when he laughed with his whole body.

“Waiting for you to get home?” he said as if it should be obvious why he was in her house alone when his own home was right next door. “Rosalia said you were coming home today and that I was welcome to wait on you. So I did. I missed you.”

Amelina finally caught her breath and relaxed into his tackle, letting it become a hug. His grip loosened when he dropped his head beside hers and spoke — a little softer that time with his voice muffled in her shoulder.

“Seven months was too long, Lina.”

She squeezed his arm.

“I know.”

______

“Oh my god, and did I even tell you Liyah has a boyfriend now too?”

The incredulous look on Shawn’s face and the way he dramatically dropped the butter knife and bun he had been holding made Lina snort before casting her mother a knowing glance. Lina and Shawn had spent some time at the dining table catching up on their semester apart before her mother arrived shortly after her. After properly welcoming her daughter home, Rosalia asked them to make themselves useful and get started on dinner.

“Does she now?” Lina said, doing her best to seem oblivious as she tossed the veggies in the pan.

“Yeah! I’m gone for half a semester and I come back and she’s all curled up with this Rohail kid on our couch!”

“Rohail? That’s one of Luis’s friends. Nice boy,” Rosalia said.

“I don’t care if he’s a nice boy, she’s fifteen. Why does she even—”

“Lina, have you booked your flight yet?”

Shawn’s tantrum was cut short when Lina’s father called out to her from just outside the kitchen. He had arrived a bit after her mother and made a beeline for his bathroom after giving his daughter a hug. Fully refreshed and having changed out of his work suit and into his favorite cargo shorts, he walked in with his head down, phone in hand.

Lina could feel Shawn’s eyes boring into her back.

“Uh no– no, I haven’t.”

“Your flight?”

The two spoke at the same time, her voice suddenly nervous and his almost concerned. She didn’t take her eyes off of the sautéing onions and peppers.

“Yeah. LAX. I have an interview.”

Her voice stayed steady, but she let herself sneak a peek over her shoulder. Confusion was clear on Shawn’s face, but the slight tilt to his lip suggested hurt.

“Interview?” was all he managed to stutter out.

“My little Lina is in the final round of interviews for a very prestigious internship,” her father announced, pocketing his phone and crossing the kitchen to kiss her head with a massive grin. He really couldn’t be prouder, but in that moment, Lina found herself almost wishing he cared just a little less. Or at least was quieter about it.

“Oh shit,” Shawn said, his voice much softer than it was mere minutes before when he was talking about his sister. “Congrats, Lina. That’s real big.”

“Thanks,” she said quietly.

Sensing the tension, her mother cleared her throat and gestured to the window that faced the street.

“Looks like your parents are back, mijo. Amelina, why don’t you go say hello and invite them over? You dad can finish up here.”

Rosalia took the spatula and pan from her daughter and shoved them towards her confused husband. Lina nodded, thankful for her mother. She kissed her father’s cheek as a quick way of saying don’t worry, you’re only kind of in trouble before she gestured to the door at Shawn.

“So LA, huh?”

He fought to keep his voice even, walking casually with his hands in his pockets and kicking at rocks as they crossed the street to his house.

“Yeah. Yeah, LA.”

“So would you like… leave UC?”

“Nah, it’s just a one-semester co-op kinda thing. I’d be in LA for the spring taking online classes and working full time, then I go back next fall.”

“Oh okay.”

“Lina!”

Before the front door of the Mendes house was full open, Aaliyah barreled towards Lina.

“I missed you. Don’t leave me again for that long, damn.”

“Missed you too, hun,” Lina responded, finally letting go of Shawn’s little sister. “How is my favorite girl doing? How’d your one-month go?”

“It was so cute, Lina, oh my god. We went to the drive-in and—”

“You what?!” Shawn broke his silence, quickly moving from where he had been watching from the door. The smile he wore watching the reunion fell immediately and was replaced with a scowl. “And you!” he whipped his head towards his best friend. “You knew!”

Lina shrugged. Shawn huffed.

“No respect in this damn house.”

He brushed past his mom, quickly kissing her head before stalking off to the bathroom. Karen threw Aaliyah an inquisitive look as she entered the living room before rolling her eyes at her son’s dramatics. Finally, she made it to Amelina and enveloped her in a hug.

“Welcome home, love.”

______

Evening found the Mendes clan spread out through the Moreno’s living room in a post-dinner laze. Lina’s parents were in deep conversation with Manny while Karen, Lina, and Shawn grilled Aaliyah about her new relationship, but Lina’s attention was admittedly elsewhere. From where she was sitting, her entire left side pressed against Shawn’s right, she could feel his other leg shaking and his fingers picking at a thread in her jeans – an old habit of his that she had grown used to when they were younger but which felt oddly foreign after months apart. Like hers, his attention seemed split as he was only barely participating in the conversation he was so passionate about just hours earlier. While Aaliyah gave a dramatic retelling of her adorably disastrous first date, Lina turned to Shawn.

“You okay?”

As if the string suddenly stung, his movements froze, and he jerked his hand away. He mashed his lips the way he did when he was deciding whether or not to tell the truth.

“Can we— can we go outside for a bit?”

Lina nodded with some concerned hesitation, following as he stood and pulled her with him. No one seemed to notice or care as they made their way out onto the patio swing where he pulled them both down with a huff. They sat quietly, pushing off against the fire pit in front of them to make the seat swing. Amidst the silence, it was like the words had been punched out of him when Shawn finally spoke.

“Why didn’t you tell me about LA?”

“It’s not a sure thing yet,” Lina mumbled. “I didn’t want to cause a fuss.”

“That’s the shit we’re supposed to talk about though! The not-sure-yet things. The ‘maybe’s and the ‘hopefully’s and the ‘I don’t know’s. I mean, fuck, since when do you avoid causing a fuss with me? Since when am I the last to find out?”

Shawn had sprung out of his seat and was pacing in front of her. Everything he hadn’t said since they were in the kitchen together that afternoon came pouring out between short huffing breaths, and Lina didn’t know what to do except sit still and quiet and listen as her best friend told her everything she already knew.

“I had to find out about Andy through my mom. I had no idea you broke up with her until two weeks later, and by then, I felt like an idiot even asking about it.”

“Shawn, I’m sorry.”

“And we said we’d never go longer than three months. We just doubled that and—”

“I know, and I’m really sorry that I couldn’t—”

“I don’t want you to apologize, Lina, goddammit. I get it. Life happens. I just…” His voice caught in his throat. With a sigh, he fell back into the seat beside her with his eyes closed. His voice was softer when he spoke again.

“I feel like I’m losing my best friend.”

As much as she wanted to reassure him, to flick him on the forehead and ask are you stupid?! she knew he was right. She had felt it too, and she didn’t have the will to lie to him and say that she didn’t.

“It’s not…” she paused, gathering her thoughts. “You aren’t losing me. We’ve just drifted, I guess.”

“That’s almost worse. That’s what adults say.”

“I guess that makes us adults now.”

“I don’t wanna drift, though, Lina,” Shawn admitted in a small voice as her reached for her hand. She let him have it on instinct, and he relaxed just a bit.

A moment of thought spent tracing her thumb over his swallow tattoo bred an idea, and the grin that overtook her face had Shawn confused and a little scared.

“Then we won’t.”

______

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just fly, mija?”

“I’m sure. This will be so much better,” Lina told her dad, beaming as she pulled on the straps of her backpack.

“Ready?” Shawn called out to her as he approached from across the street with his own backpack slung over one shoulder.

Between them was the large white van that would be their home for the next several days. Packed with luggage and pillows and blankets to last them until California and painted with phrases like “ROUTE 66 BABY!” and “SUMMER BREAK 2K19” courtesy of Aaliyah and Luis, it was truly an eyesore. And Lina absolutely loved the sight of it.

“Ready!”

______

A/N: i don’t have an update schedule for this, but i hope to stay somewhat regular. feel free to yell at me if i don’t. i also don’t have a taglist yet but if yall would be interested in that just shoot me an ask! hope you liked it and happy new year!

#samis 2k challenge #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes series #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes x oc #my writing

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swatato · 4 years

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fat. FAT. P H A T RANT INCOMING FOR ANYONE WHO CARES TO READ THIS NONSENSE CUZ @haldidoodh ASKED

That episode literally blasted the last of my serotonin into smithereens but TBH??? WHO AM I MAD AT I should have seen this coming this whole volume has been such a headache. I cant be bothered to type up a coherent rwde essay on everything that bothered me this episode so im just gonna copy and paste my earlier yelling here instead ;A;

Team Rwby was god awful in episodes 11-12. They’re so self-righteous, entitled, hypocritical and cocky as a team and it doesnt help that they all suck as individual characters nowadays (except for weiss but even she lost best-girl points this episode also lmao blake and yang aren’t even INDIVIDUALS anymore they’re just bumbleby). It was annoying at first but now its just infuriating how rwby thinks theyre always right with their uwu energy and think they can do whatever tf they want with ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

Basically any time there is a problem in this show they have Ruby uwu at it and its solved lol.

They kept giving ironwood shit for taking on this incredible burden SO THAT NOBODY ELSE WOULD HAVE TO and rather than offer any real solution they just kept going “but mantle” like okay?? But remnant??? Like obvi letting mantle rot is bad but HE WAS OPEN TO ANY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS CUZ HES OBVI AT HIS WITTS END AND DOESNT LIKE THE IDEA EITHER but yeah they just proceed to be the fattest hypocrites by hiding secrets of their own after being all “no more secrets uwu” and WHEN THEY GOT EXPOSED THEY JUST WENT “>:[“ (yangs self-righteous little glare here pissed me off so much oof) especially when ironwood was laying everything out in the open to them from the start. AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SECRET WAS FKIN “OH YEAH SALEM CANT DIE LOL” They watched ironwood make every decision he did in hopes of beating Salem while KNOWING she couldnt die??? So literallY WHERE do they get off on screeching at him with their yOu doNt hAvE to Suffer In ManTle YOu doNt kNow whAt iTs liKe bs. Wtf made ruby distrust iw at the start anyway? Because he had a bunch of ships out? They kept this CRUCIAL piece of information from him because he seemed stressed out?? Like what made ruby keep the secret from him. Someone tell me.

And the fact that rwby beat the ace-ops makes no goddamned sense. The power-scaling in this show is non-existant. We finally got to meet some pro huntsmen in this universe who aren’t teachers but are actually on the job, but because we gotta move out of the way for that 👌🏽✨ Power Of Friendship✨ and ✨rwby is always right✨ they somehow managed to beat experienced huntsmen with YEARS in the field who’ve actually graduated school??? FARM BOI OSCAR WHOS *JUST* LEARNING HOW TO FIGHT MANAGED TO LAND A PUNCH ON NEO FKIN POLITAN??? Didnt neo dance circles around yang??? Yang, who punches for a living and also beat mercury and adam??? I cant yall (and the fact that he didnt even bother to sneak up on her this boi literally screamed “no!!” as he ran down a hallway and neo didnt even have time to blink??? Pls)

Ruby’s “you were the best, until you trained us :3” -for maybe 2 days before my team went dancing ruby sis shut right tf up pls my god is this line just so. UNEARNED. Training in a room for a short while does not simply grant you the years of field experience the ace ops have and whAT IS UP WITH HER TRYING TO REASON WITH HARIETT AFTER SAYING THAT COCKY LINE AND FIGHTING HER??? WHAT and also like. The entire idea of “the ops lost cuz they weren’t good friends and were bad at teamwork uwu” is just so dumb. Ur telling me this group of high ranking hunstmen who’ve most likely been working together for at least a few years didnt have teamwork down??? Learning to work together is the most BASIC concept for a team to learn!! Its like the first thing a team has to perfect!! If the ace ops are supposed to be the best of atlas you dont think the ops would have gotten something as fundemental as teamwork down?? I dont buy it. And who gives a shit if they dont hang out after work or take selfies with eachother. Being friends doesnt necessarily mean theyre great at working together. If they succeed at relying on eachother to watch their backs, to keep each other alive (in the words of hariett herself) then Id think theyd know how to protect eachother i.e WORK TOGETHER.

And for all the ✨friendship✨ and ✨going through so much with someone✨ talk rwby like to do, the show barely displays these people acting like friends. We’re constantly TOLD how great of friends this group is, but the actual CONTENT we are shown leaves a lot to be desired. Tell me the last time ruby and blake teamed up in a fight. Or weiss and blake. Or yang and weiss. What teamwork?? Yang only interacts with blake now and weiss is only ever allowed to interact with ruby. Has blake ever said nora or ren’s name out loud? Have jaune and yang ever held a conversation between just them? Team rwby just spent a GOOD DEAL of time seperated from eachother, but when they reunite their teamwork is still somehow better than the ace ops?? Honestly its easier to believe that ruby is closer with team jnpr than she is her own team. If they showed the ops messing up during rwby vs ace ops fight due to lack of communication, then it still doesnt matter. My point is that they shouldnt have lacked teamwork in the first place.

Robyn was m e h this episode “JaMes ConTinUes to UnDeresTimAte Me” *proceeds to get knocked over in .3 seconds and is then KO for the rest of the episode* also great job for starting a fight and aiming to take clovers life in a moving airship with a terrorist on board when clover was acting PEACEFULLY and qrow was WILLING TO TALK IT OUT WITH IW and potentially work on a solution, but naw robyn is big mad and shall shoot.

Qrow made zero sense this episode too. I was with him right up until he chose TYRIAN OVER CLOVER??? THE PSYCOPATH WHO CANNOT BE REASONED WITH OVER THE RATIONAL DUDE YOU KNOW IS GOOD except clover wasnt acting rational in this fight at all and ill get to that AND IS THE ONLY FRIEND YOU HAVE WHOS NOT 19????? Qrow rly looked at tyrian- a man who is literally an enemy to all of remnant and went after ur neice- and said lets get rid of this punk together u and me bro. Like screw teaming with clover to bring down the dude you ACTUALLY have a grudge with whos also a serial killer and then trying to talk it out with clover whod be willing to do things peacefully why is this show like this

and AS FOR CLOVER. where were the braincells this episode. Qrow was trying to fight tyrian-the WAY bigger threat here, but clover??? kept knocking him away from tyrian and restraining him with his hook like??? YEAH LETS HELP OUT THE DEMON SCORPION CRACKHEAD HES CLEARLY NOT THE PRIORITY ATM nvm clover deserved to die there m8

His death scene was emotional and I feel bad for Qrow but u literally sealed his death when u ganged on him with tyrian so why are you even surprised. And on the subject of fairgame, im glad it didnt happen. Qrow was in no state for romance and I was glad he finally had a friend. He just spent the last volume thinking he wasted his life away helping oz, drowning in misery, drinking til he passed out on the street and so drunk he couldnt even be of any help during the apathy situation, when up til now hes been shown to fight just fine while drunk. I don’t see this as a “bury your gays trope” because clover was never confirmed to be gay and all their scenes added up to 40 seconds of platonic friendship. These two are grown ass men, if they had the hots for eachother then im pretty sure they could openly show it and not dance around it like theyre kids. I do feel bad for mlm viewers who were hoping for some rep with fairgame/lucky charms (cuz rt only cares if ur a cute marketable lesbian) but idc for the overly entitled fans who try to force their own headcanons on the writers and go feral when they dont get what they want. You dont just get to prance around claiming whats canon and what isnt. If rep is there then great, but if it isnt, then why not look somehwere else and let the author tell the story theyre trying to tell? Shipping fairgame cuz you think its cute is absolutely fine but not when u start getting ready to casterate crwby for not catering to you. Also, rwby sucks with lgbt+ rep anyway so what were yall expecting.

The only thing that was great this episode was the chorerography. It just sucks that the animation/choreo continues to improve while the writing doesnt. Another thing that really fell off this episode was the whole “we’re friends but we have to fight” drama. It doesnt work when its only ONE SIDE SHOWING ANY DISTRESS OVER IT. Only the ace ops (marrow, clover, the vine dude) seemed to show distress over having to fight rwby (it sucks that the only 1v1 weiss has won was because marrow was going EASY on her cuz he didnt wanna fight her fr) but rwby???? They didnt give any shits. They were so quick to turn against them and aim for their heads. They were SMILING as they ran at the ace ops, while they looked conflicted. If you oppose their UwU philosophy, you’re dead to them.

I really wanna enjoy RWBY but sometimes this show (and the fndm) really tests me. Its ironic how this episode came right after last episode, which I thought was the best chapter this volume. Anyway I rate this 10/10 cuz it gave me best character ironwood and best boi marrow and I would like to give them hugs for carrying this volume on their backs. (Also tyrian and penny and winter have been great too)

#oof just oof #and idegaf about cinder yall #lowkey hoping she gets all the maiden powers so she can finally beat rwby up and HUMBLE them a little #rwby #rwby vol 7 #rwde

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

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Michael: she came to me with like $1000 and said to me "Michael i got a problem and I need make up" So, she told me the whole thing and I told her that I really liked her Jesse and I explained as best i could without telling the truth and breaking the promise i made to Jesse. And i told her i would get her makeup and keep her secret as best i could as long as she promised not to get mad at me about Jesse. And she agreed but asked if i told her secret because it wasn't a true secret then tell her so she could confirm or deny. If they came all the way to me to ask because she wouldn't say where she got the make up Then her problem was gonna be bigger than make up could fix and she would need to face it.

Saint Luches: You told Michael Jackson?!

Me: what? I needed make up. 5 days later is when T broke my nose. Stupid bitch made me so mad 30 years later her head is still fucked up for what i said.

Jesse Tony laughs: you are a real wild one!!

Me: all I really wanted to know because I obviously saw a whole troop of people loudly walking to go have sex together -- what i cared most about was why there was a plant in the closet.

Alex laughs: goddamit

Me: no, Michael explained -- i mean yes it's true that's all I was truly curious about -! But because Michael explained to me what changed in the way Alex behaved towards me was because of Mark's death. Because Tony began acting that way towards them. Because I stayed on the island, refusing to work and stuff.

Saint Luches: so Michael Jackson put you in the closet?

Me: yeah. Did you wanna come out? I'm kidding. Yeah. He realized that taking one of my soulmates was a problem that was too big for make up to fix and he needed Jesse Tony to face it. Face what life had done to him and make his choices about where he wanted to live and be with. Tony Had said he would tell me. I was hearing what Michael was confessing but Michael was saying he also couldn't tell me and couldn't accept how I felt unless i truly knew what was happening. So he promised not to tell. So he said causally, i have a closet door upstairs in 5 minutes there will be sound outside if you want to listen. So Tony walked me home and i shut the apartment door in his face and locked it. I heard him walk away and the button push in for the elevator. So i opened the door I said "I love you. I'm not mad. But you need to go" he wouldn't.

Alex: I know he was sleeping outside the door on the floor when I came home from work. It was disrubing to see the door locked and i couldn't get in my own house. We never locked the door. Middle of NYC we never locked the door. I nearly broke the door frame trying to get in. I thought you were fucking crazy asking Jesse would he do that at Michael's but not his own house and he just went in and started packing. And you just kept talking about a fucking plant in the closet and he kept saying pot and you kept saying plant. And then he said Mary wanna. And you said "oh now you want Mary, too? I have to ask Michael if its okay!" And you were about to get the phone and he grabbed your waist and said "he already did baby, it's okay" and i been blowing pot smoke in your face since I got home And I said "see? He can have Jane, too"

Jesse: You were about to shit yourself "Jane? Who the fuck is Jane? Im calling Michael! Yall two are insane!!"

You'd think Michael was controlling. But he cried when he told me he was in love with my soulmate. The guy I had my first kid with this lifetime. Chandler.

But Michael wasn't okay. He had an anxiety attack twice. Threw up 3 times, it felt like hours and I would be late for work. It had been 15 minutes.

Alex had found a way to love me that was healing. Saint Luches was getting worse everyday. I thought Jesse could help. But then i seen Michael. And in those 94 days I learned around the world people still loved me even without my child, the first child I was told I was allowed to keep, and Mark Anthony.

When i looked at Michael i knew no one had told him, except Jesse Tony James.

I could handle Saint Luches. I knew what to do. Hide the bruises and keep on going.

But my friend Michael, my very best friend that took me off the streets while I was working, bought my clothes and paid me and my rent?

Only Jesse Tony James could.

So I've spent many years as The NHRA Knows trying to find my memories and set things right in with Jesse James. Tree says he feels pretty guilty for hiding. Yet he recognized i was at work. And he couldn't avoid that fact.

In 30 years. They have just grown to love each other more.

I can't avoid that fact either.

Yes. The true and real Michael Jackson is a hermaphrodite.

He said i could tell you.

T punched me in the face cause i just popped out the closet like a Sabrina in the Box. Scared her to death. She kept punching me. She could not see who she was punching? I was bleeding all over the floor and e everything. It splattered on the walls.

I told her "you steal my man!??? I'll hate you forever!!"

What she didn't know because she's sneaky as me, is, I already knew Jesse Tony James was no longer mine.

I knew that before i went in the closet.

Girl needs to slow down Sometimes. We all do.

I'm sure it's taught her well all these years to be more honest is good. Like Michael.

I know Jesse was good for her. Settled her soul, her heart to be more basic for human rights -- to understand things bigger than her and differently than she once did.

She was a pretty tough chicken back then. I'm sure she's grown into a mighty fine young woman.

And yeah i asked Michael to buy me make up. I could went to the store on my own. But i knew, like a father, he would tell me if I was wrong to hide the secret of my body's scientific reaction.

And in order to do that. I had to tell him my secret.

A secret that turned into nearly 1 million bruises.

Its weird to say that. Read it over. If someone ever told me something like that... 1 million bruises.

Well #1 you're never seeing him again.

#2 we need to get you some mental help because there is something wrong with you.

But here i am... Lets break a million, kid

Jesse Tony James gave T 1,925,624 bruises in 30 years. To Michael 76,549

That's nothing. Alex did half what he did to T, to me in 6 months! Please.

They have boring old people sex! They can keep him!

Saint Luches killed me 113 times.

T 7 Michael 42. In 30 years.

Please! They're peddlers in the streets!

And now things get interesting

T gave Jesse 9 bruises

Michael gave jesse 745,329

And he hasn't been killed.

You wanna get talented in your mind?

Chandler's Love would expect her parents to have sex.

And this bitch ain't said no.

What's a fling between old friends? Good when you're a goddess and its the only soulmate you've given away that you've liked And you've given away half of them.

Its good for the future of the world.

6 soulmates. Gave away half. That would mean...

Knowing 2 were evil.. Knowing I gave away half.

You'd think we going pretty fucking bad especially if you learn Saint Luches is gonna get 2 women when Mark comes back.

That means the Goddess here on Earth has only 2 left. And she can do anything. Even if she's unhappy.

So it sounds scary.

So yes. Chandler's Love Requires her parents to fornicate in private or public whatever they can get away with.

So no bitching I get to fuck Mr Sexy.

Don't even be jealous. Just thank your lucky stars that I will.

Really, tho. Saint Luches chose me in Armageddon. But I was with Mark Anthony.

That kid with the black eye from his parents I "teased" was my boyfriend.

Saint Luches.

3 men is a lot. I keep thinking when Mark Anthony comes back how will we sleep? Im only 1 girl. 3 men. Its not symmetrical. We can't all cuddle Me. The only Girl. The only Neanderthal in the world. I think that every night.

Mark Anthony is also thinking of coming as a hermaphrodite.

So then Saint Luches will probably stay, so then there's an extra vagina in rotation so it makes it fine.

Don't ask me. I just wanna make sure my men are pleased and comfortable and comforted and have all they want and complete access.

They're warriors and deserve their rewards, too.

Jesse Tony Jesse had only slept with them one time in a sexual way. The night before I went to ask for makeup

And Michael said it was only once but he knew it was too good to give up. And he would never ask me to.

He wanted to share. Well now in the DNA4U they're soulmates.

Holidays,vacations. Every now and again. On a bar floor. We will

He never stopped being attractive or beautiful.

In 2008 I saw him quietly. Silently. Every thing around me was silent.

I could only put my hands in my lap and feel nothing at all. But concern and respect.

For 2 hours I just stared. Watched him eat sunflower seeds,

I never seen a grown man act that way. He would look at me with intensity. Like He was gonna talk. Move his hands like he could spit out "hello" or something. But he couldn't.

He would just stop. And he would meet my gaze. And his face would change.

He would try again.

But he couldn't

It was like a sound breaking silence would cause the atmosphere to fall apart.

It eventually. It did. Because what he had to say to Me was the past. The past I couldn't handle.

It was me who finally broke the silence, "let's get something to eat"

And i put my hand in the elbow of Jesse Anthony James and we went in silence to get the children.only I spoke "let's get something to eat. Go get dressed. We're going in the car. Sure. Pizza Hut will be fine?"

No one used words but they communicated. Declan holding up the correct shirt to wear. Smiles from the children at pizza.

The silence. No one broke it.

It was so peaceful.

I wish people treated hearts that way. Especially Armageddon who thinks they have a right to control a planet that isn't theirs.

One day they will learn like T. Not to stand there and keep punching me in the fucking face.

One sentence. For 30 years has kept her terrified of me.

But more so of herself.

I spent a long time scared of myself, too.

So I'm glad she knows, I'm not angry at her. Never was.

I hope she breaks 2 million bruises.

I hope Jesse breaks 1 from Michael.

I truly do.

I truly truly do.

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star-bage · 7 years

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The squeakuel

FOR ADULTS ONLY!!!!!!!!!! SHOVE OFF U LITTLE KIDS Also i hate alvin and te chipmonks Aight lets get WROOOOIGGGGGGHT INTO THE NEWS ----- Marco hadn't had much time to process what was happening. He'd walked to school, just as he would any other normal day. Stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans in the hopes that he would warm them from the chills running up and down his skin. When he looked up, a pale gray sky foreshadowed heavy rain. He'd scolded himself for not thinking ahead and bringing an umbrella, but he'd have to make do with his hood. Who knew, maybe the weather would turn out alright. The California forecast was hardly of any use to them these days. When he entered the parking lot, it was barren. Empty. Not a car in sight to drop students off. As if something had swept the area conpletely clean. He checked the watch on his wrist, feeling nauseous as he read the time. 7:30, 10 minutes before the bell would ring. Anxiety climbed up and froze his shoulders as all possible explanations ran rampant in his mind. Maybe it was a holiday, maybe it was April Fool's Day, maybe everyone collectively decided that school didn't mean dogshit anymore. Maybe Marco was still asleep, maybe he was at the wrong school -- he paled when he saw huge, black letters on the sign spell out ECHO CREEK ACADEMY -- maybe, maybe-- Rave music blared, bursting his eardrums and making him scream. "MARCOOOOOOOOOOO" A familiar voice howled, and Marco turned to see the vortex of an interdimensional portal float before him. Star was peeking her head out and watching him with wide eyes. "star. Wtf u doing." Marco deadpanned as the ringing in his ears invaded his head. It wouldnt stop and tbh he was probly scrwed now welp "IM INVITINGU TO A RAVE PARTAY U SJHOULD BCOME WITH!!" She spun her head in an overexaggerated circle and marco wondered how it wasnt falling off when he shouted back, "ARENT U MISSING SCHOOL "PSH FUCK ACHOOL WTF EVEN IS THAT THE EDUCATION SYSTEM ISFUKED MAN" "STAR THE REASON WHY U GET BAD GRADES IS B/C U DONT STUDY NOT BLC THE EDUCATION SYSTEM IS SHIT" "STFU AND COME HERE" She latched onto marcos arms like a person latching onto the love of their life (sideglance at blood moon no offense but ur like a reallllly tacky plot device u know that ahem anyway) Marco was dragged into the portal against his well and he fell flat on his face on the dance floor. "Bitch," he spat "Ur such a baby wah wah" star said. Marco stood up to brush himself off. He wiped dust from his knees, his cuffs, his shoes, his hair, parted himself down until star punched his arm "OWW" "THE FLOOR ISNT THAT DIRTY U GERMOPHOBE OMFG CHILL OUT" Marco ignored her b/c who cares about a princess who blatantly doesnt care about your wellbeing by constantly dragging u everywhwre, putting u in embarrasing sitchuations, and making u worry about her RITE??! And he took a look around The bounce lounge was quite massive, perhaps twice the size it had been before. Nothing new about it necessarily, but it seemed as if the floor had expanded for the sake of fitting more dancers. Whitch wouldve been nice when marco almost fell to his depth in the spiky spikes!! He felt salty as he folded his arms and made grunting noises to show off his displeasure (this is me when im not at home sleeping in my bed) "Dude wyd" a grown ass man asked as he shashayed near marco "wYD???" Marco retaliated before inching away from the weird man "Im mistur candleman the candleman from mr candle carebears" he danced and did his weird shashay thigng (ok tbh i dont know what shashay means and im too lazyto look it up i just know those weird YA novels with those edgy characters and "ooh so speshul" friends shashay up to their best friends or some shit idfk i think its dumb u think im dumb we're on tbhe same page now) "Mr candleman??" Marco feigned shock, horror, what was this godawful counselordoing here oh the AudACITY FOR HIM TO SHOW HIS FACE AFTER TELLING HIM HE SHOULD WORK ON THAT DUMPSTER ISLAND ooHH MARCO JUST WANTED TO PUNCH HIS DI- "@ ease shoulder" (soldur? Soulja? Soldier? It remains a mystery and No imNot goNNA LOOK IT UP U PREPS) "and yeh in the flesh hmhm im on break now blc master tom stopped giving a shit about me" "Good for u" marco rolled his ryes Candleman started doing the doggie (is this how u spell it?? Yall i cant keep up with thhis shit smfh this is such a dumb name for a dance movie istfg!!!) "U gotta chillax marko diuz... Look... All ur friendz are here¡ u should say hi to them maybe u can boost ur cred since u have no social life..l "U SON OF A CANDLESTICK CAREBEAR MY LITTLE PONY BRONT IM GONNA--" Marco left but not before punching mr candleman in the weewoo "thas wut u get hoe" he clackled as mr kindleman crumpled to the ground in a dayze "420" candleman moana'd ( i put 420 because dayze reminded me of blaze yu know yuh feel) Where wus i goig with this hmm hwwll uhh ok im just gonna say rn that when i kept sayong candleman i just thought of that candle guy from booty and the beast was that just me Margo march'd right over to the photo booth wher star was snapping photos with poony head "Pose. Pose. Pose" star and ponyhead made duckfaces in every pic and marco wanted to scream "ive become so numb i cant feel my pear" Instead "Star butterfly u better to take me hone RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!" Marko yowled "Wtf is e doing here" ponyhead groaned before putting on lipstick... Come to think of it this gurl has no arms.. How would she put on lipstick.. "Marco d-azz do u ever chill put" star dedpanned (i feel deja vu feelin rn) "it doesnt matter how much u say no, no one will evah take u seriously!! Just dreal with it bro" Marco put his foot down to the grownd and clamped his jaw started to hurt "u know wut... U know wut bish wemre done. We break in up. We thru" "Oh no he dint," poony head whispered but like that loud whisper that actually is normal voice level so ppl within a 10 foot raidius could hear "Marco..." Star's lips parted on the name, this time ton e very serious and its a guilt truppy tome u know the one that makes u feel guilt and marco felt guilt but he didnt fukin care he was so thru with all her shit he didnt ask for this and he only dated her cuz that bloody ass moon wanted this Why couldnt HE choose who he wanted to spend his life with it just wasnt gooddamn fare "Goodbai star" he said halloweenly He walked away from them, to get off the danke flore but then remembered "zz SPIKES!!" STAR SCRERCHED "NOOOO" And he was falling, falling to his doom, this was it huh, this was how it was all going to end Marco wiped at his eyes as the air whistled around him, sobbing out that he would miss his frendz (ok one friend), his fam (who kinda embrassered him often), and tom who kinda embrassered him to but u know what... He wasnt that bad "And finally," he whispurred "Janna... Fuck u for taking my khakis" (car keys, u know, i mean the the accent because it sounds like khakis but its actuelle car keys mmk imgunna stfu noe this moment is srs SO SHUT UP SHH Marco closed his eyes shut and waited for his imminent ending to the final chapter kinda like shrek forever after the final chapter but theyre coming up with shrek 5 so yeah i want to die too marco i feel "Star reached outa hand stretching it out to her beeloved, scramming •"NOOOOO MARCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"• "Polo" matco laughed before flipping off star And darkness. Ebony darkness. -- Naw jk i was messin with u pf "MARCO NOO THE SPIKES" "STFU STAR WHAT DO U TAKE ME FOR" he snatched her um deemensuinal sceesars and sliced thru the air slice slice slice and dice oh my god i hate that video im not im not gonna reference that again and i hope none of u understand what i was referring to So yeah he bust a dimensionut portal open (shit i referenced it again goodbye world) "Ur portal is all week and wiggly" poony head pointed out with her horn cuz she still aint got dem hands "Fuck u. Polo." "What.." star asked as he disappeared -- So in the end, marco dextercided (ok idk why i wrote dexter but im not changing it cuz these typos hav worked in my gavor) to stay.... With tom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tomco for lyfe 20/20 69/69 420/420 So yeah he went to his underground onion layer and played pung pong with him until tom burst into flamez 2 be continooed?????? Exclamation powerpoint exclamation powerpoint??

#mod crim(e)#this is terrible

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