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#cause hes literally just like whatever <3 physical form <3 and doesnt think too hard about how it would work per laws of reality
astral-schools · 8 months
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he may be Nothing but hes MY everything.
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varusai · 3 years
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who do you think is the most dateable dark matter thief?? i know you have an opinion and i need to hear it
sorry for the late response anon i honestly had to think abt this one for a few days lmao, but yeah i have opinions. below the cut bc fr i have opinions, all of them have major pros and cons (based on my characterization at least) and really i just have to break it down for u
Boros, everyones obvious first choice, but certainly not mine.
Pros: rich, tall, pretty, fun af, passionate, will kill for you np, give you anything you want, literally anything.
cons: has a god complex, doesnt respect you, not his number one priority at all, will forget about you once its not interesting for him anymore, probably argumentative/combative af, is very very smart and has no problem manipulating you in all the worst ways, is very entitled so he will never feel bad about anything, cant win arguments either bc he’ll want to settle it with combat, will get offended over little things just to argue bc he thinks thats fun
this is a relationship you’d get into if you literally have nothing to lose and dont care about your mental health. like hes hot but this shit would be toxic af and he will ruin your life and leave you to go fuck around and fight someone on the other side of the universe. this will be the best of times and the worst of times for you and you will never be the same afterward mentally or emotionally. the only way i would even consider it is if i lost my damn mind. The only way a relationship with him would ever work long term is if you were physically stronger than him and were capable of putting him in his place OR you were smart enough, suicidal enough, and interesting enough to him to engage in some psychological warfare and reject him if he asked you. Make him chase you for years, say yes, then decide that /he’s/ boring /you/ and leave him for another member of the squad to just destroy their established hierarchy and humble him to the point that he’s obsessed with you.
i dont have the energy for all that, so i’ll just smash and pass.
0/10 completely undateable
Geryuganshoop, also a probable second choice for many:
pros: cute, nice, tentacle alien (obviously), will respect you np, will also give you anything you want, not antagonistic at all, telepathic communication so no risk of miscommunication, emotionally intelligent and available, loyal to a fault,
cons: horrible boss/best friend that you will have to listen to him vent about for at least 3 hours a day, complete yes man as well so he will not tell boros no or cut him off and you will be stuck dealing with this no matter what, severely mentally ill and wont go to therapy bc he thinks hes handling it well, workaholic, needs a lot, and i mean A LOT of attention
this relationship would be great if not for boros lol. boros sabotages his social and romantic life but geryu has been friends with him too long to either cut him off or establish boundaries. he has no backbone (figuratively and literally) and wouldnt even consider it. he’ll ignore you in favor of his job too, to a massive degree. also i think that while the telepathic communication would be a major plus in most cases, here i feel like i’d have no less than 16 different, never before seen on earth, mental illnesses projected right into my brain just from being within a certain radius of him.
im already fucked up enough in that sense so pass unfortunately.
it would be a yes without boros in the picture tho lmao
so prob like 4/10 iffy datablillity, 1 level increase with each decade of therapy he gets tho so a lot of potential :D
Groribas, my fav girl:
pros: straightforward, realistic, very clear expectations, will not fuck around with you whatsoever like there is no mind games or anything here, will kill for you, rich and non materialistic so she’ll basically just let you do whatever with her money since she doesn t care about it, cares about her job but like...a normal amount. she absolutely has a good work/life balance, highly organized so she will not forget important dates, loyal af and will defend your honor under any circumstances, mean but in a funny way, a ton of fun to hang out with if you’re into that, no eyes so i dont have to worry abt eye contact ever
cons: extremely high expectations, like exhaustingly high, and not even a bit of flexibility there, if you dont meet the cut its a no, she’ll let you know and leave same day, she will also bully you, you need a thick skin and great sense of humor to survive, bad at feelings if you need emotional support???? go elsewhere, shes mega emotionally unavailable, will probably want to share bodies as a form of intimacy
overall its a solid 6.5/10 dateability for me i love the directness and no bs approach, we would def get along well. however, while im not sensitive, shes def gonna hit on some insecurities at some point and it will cause an argument lol. but i mean whatever. it happens. the body sharing would be an issue though, same reason i wouldnt be chill with having a symbiote despite being a major venom fucker. i need my space i cant deal with that. so thats a possible deal breaker if she couldnt get over that lol. and she wont, so we wouldnt work out. i wish it fuckin would tho😭😭😭 i would take whatever crumbs of attention she would be willing to give me
Melzalgald, my fav they/them bastard:
pros: amorphous and shapeshifting aka extremely attractive according to my taste in monsters, tall af but could chose to be a more reasonable survivable size lol, self contained and self-entertaining so they dont need a ton of attention to be happy, funny af, rich, will give you whatever you want and probably a bunch of shit you didnt know you wanted, very fun, built in friend group if you didnt already have friends, extremely emotionally intelligent and great people skills due to living in a collective, stupid af by choice, like some of em are very smart, but they dont claim that, will say fuck work and tell boros to eat shit to spend time with you, will kill for you as well, but only if you ask them to bc their first inclination is to just bother someone to death, very loyal, once they like you they like you really forever, it would take some pretty extreme circumstances to make them dislike you
cons: annoying af and its unavoidable, will talk over you, all of them at once will talk over you and do so loudly, no respect for personal space, they dont even know what that is, will probably accidentally manhandle you, they act stupid but arent so they can be manipulative, even if it isnt bad and they dont really mean to be, impulsive, forgetful of the needs of organic creatures so they will bother you at all hours of the day and night if you arent firm with boundaries, disgustingly extroverted and will bring randoms to your place without asking, or just...make new cluster members and you have to roll with it, will eat or absorb literally anything you have, will antagonize and bother you for fun, major jump scare risk since sometimes the forms are....fleshy
this ones hard for me like theyre hot af and i feel like they’d be super fun and good partners, but god....the noise. idk how long i could deal with that lol i dont like people in my house. it would drive me up the wall, but then again...i can simply kick them out when ive had enough. they arent projecting mental illness directly into my brain or requiring me to share a body sintelligento major plus. creepy thing/symbiote style hot monster without any of the invasiveness so tbh 8/10 dateability
some people date loud annoying extroverts who dont understand personal space that /arent/ rich, loyal, or emotionally intellegent so i’d be winning on a few different fronts lmao
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valkavavaart · 4 years
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hi im bored so im doing an oc thing
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i decided i wannan do this w multiple soooo im going wwww ophelia, alice, and beatrice thats all bye
1. how easy is it to make them angry? do they show their anger or hide it?
ophelia - it's kinda easy to get under her skin, and she holds a grudge so if u piss her off then she won't forget it. but also she doesn't really ACT on grudges, she'll just be a little rude next time u talk to her. she doesnt really show much emotion but does kind of having a permanent :| or >:| on her face, so she'll look annoyed even if she isn't...
beatrice - generally just being rude or annoying will make her mad, but she gets over things within seconds and doesn't take people all that seriously to begin with, so it's not like pissing her off will do much. she'll be like pouty and tell u to knock it off, but she also doesnt rlly care
alice - it's difficult to make alice mad. like you have to be SO annoying or hurt him in such a drastic way for him to get pissed. usually when hes mad hes still all smiley and happy tho so he'd kinda just be >:)
2. do they believe in soulmates
ophelia - she believes in them in the sense that one person may have multiple people that can come into their lives and be considered a soulmate bc nothing is permanent and blah blah blah she doesnt rlly care tho
beatrice - she doesn't believe in soulmates but enjoys soulmate au fanfiction
alice - he definitely believes in soulmates and fate drawing people together, but is conistantly disappointed when he finds out people he like arent destined to stay with him
3. do they have any pet peeves?
ophelia - people with no concept of personal space (unless theyre like merrick or one of her close friends)
beatrice - ppl who eat w their mouth open
alice - the sound of violins
4. do they have a happy place? somewhere they go in their heads when they need to relax?
ophelia - oph just goes to the library man
beatrice - she doesnt need one bc shes always vibing
alice - when the man needs to relax hes either drunk as hell or hanging out with as many friends as he can get together, spending time alone with his thoughts is literally a nightmare for alice
5. at what stage of their life were they the happiest?
ophelia - the current stage of her life
beatrice - there hasnt been a stage where beatrice hasnt had fun :) she doesnt have anything to worry about!
alice - the current stage of his life
6. at what stage of their life were they the least happy
ophelia - the ages of 12-17
alice - any time he gets to the point in a relationship where he breaks up w someone and then he goes into "my life sucks wahhhh" mode for a few months
7. at a bar are they more likely to buy someone a drink, or have someone buy them a drink?
ophelia & beatrice - have someone else buy them a drink
alice - buy someone a drink
8. have they ever broken any bones? if yes, how?
ophelia - when her powers manifested at the age of 12, oph lost the ability to feel physical pain which lead to her straining herself more. she'd get into accidents or push herself too hard because she couldn't feel that it hurt and wold get injured through that (and she still does, but she has more knowledge of her limits now) so i guess she wouldve broken some bones through stuff thanks to that.
beatrice - never ever broken a bone!! she drinks a lot of milk to keep her bones STURDY :)
alice - has broken like his arm or fingers or just anything in that area due to a fight or something. he'll probably have broken a leg at some point too. again, probably in a fight. or maybe he fell out a tree. who knows.
9. do they have any memories/experiences they'd rather forget?
ophelia - she generally wants to brush most of her teen years away and forget things relating to her family, but also cant bring herself to hate them despite how garbage they are, so,
beatrice - there are probably a few conversations she's had with alice and percy that she's like to never remember ever again
alice - he cherishes all his memories, good or bad! he always thinks that he can learn from his mistakes and hardships! even though all he does is repeat the exact same things over and over and o
10. what is their favourite memory from their childhood?
ophelia - although her parents have always been cold to her, they used to go camping when she was about 9-10ish, and she always enjoyed spending time with her siblings around then.
beatrice - in the method she had been created she technically never was a child um. but in her early life, she enjoyed hanging out with levi! :D
alice - haha
11. do they have a "type" that they are usually attracted to?
ophelia - no
beatrice - bea will generally befriend anyone if theyre cute or theyre like her guy friends. as for a partner, she wants someone thats at LEAST a head taller than her normal form (her regular form is 5'5"), they need to be someone that likes hugs, someone who would coddle her, someone who would cosplay with/for her, someone who would buy her things..
alice - his "type" is just "someone interesting", but he thinks all people are interesting in their own right- you have to be SUUUUUUPER boring for him to not be into you in some way.
12. do they have any favourite possessions?
ophelia - ALL her alien plushies (most of which were gifts from merrick)
beatrice - everything inside her wardrobe
alice - cleaver
13. do they have any tattoos? if no, would they ever consider getting one?
ophelia - she doesn't have any, and doesn't really want one, but she's seen some real cool space ones, and--
beatrice - tattoos vanish when she changes her form unless she focuses REALLY hard on keeping it there, so she's given up on trying to get one to be permanent.
alice - he doesn't have any, but thinks that getting a sleeve would be cool. he doesn't have any idea for what he wants, though, so he hasn't bothered getting one. he also gets worried that if he gets one of his current aesthetic, he'll get bored of it and have to do something drastic to remove it.
14. do they have any piercings? if no, would they ever consider getting any?
ophelia - has her ears pierced
beatrice - doesn't want piercings, wears clip-on earrings
alice - wants a tongue piercing r belly-button piercing maybe.. and ear piercing might also be cool...
15. what is their dream house like?
ophelia - she'd like to live in a small town on the coast or something.. she doesn't really mind living in a small house since it'd just be her and merrick. but also if she had a house with an observatory, she'd love that a LOT. generally just wants somewhere nice and laid back.
beatrice - due to her void realm taking the form of whatever she wants, she has her dream home! it's literally just an apartment with a few rooms, but it has enough space for all the stuff she wants.
alice - he's in a similar position to Beatrice in that he already has his own dream place bc teehee void realm. He's a little more selfish in that he gave himself a big house with lots of space and rooms for him to fill with stuff- but also he wanted somewhere big so that all his friends could stay with him :)
16. what is something about them that people would not expect just by looking at them?
ophelia - UHHH just how lazy she is, probably.. woman barely tolerates having to jog somewhere please let her sit down
beatrice - idk probably the fact she befriends murder boys like alice
alice - all the music he listens to is like crazy frog and caramelldansen
17. how good are they at choosing gifts for others?
ophelia - she'll either just outright ask you what you want, or she'll give you money or a gift card, she doesn't like having to guess for people
beatrice - she literally picks gifts for other people based on what SHE likes.. like she'll get u something cause she tinks it's cute it doesn't matter if u've ever mentioned it before
alice - if ur his friend then he will have a list of all ur interests in the back of his brain at all times and does a pretty good job picking out gifts thanks to that
18. do they have a certain skill that they're particularly proud of?
ophelia - she's very good at researching things and digging up information that a lot of people can't find so she thinks that's kind of epic for her
beatrice - she's good at dancing, video games, and memorizing things. she will show off these skills as much as she can.
alice - umm... eyeball removal...?
19. how would a stranger they just met describe them?
ophelia - UHHHH... she's just polite to strangers so i think she'd be described as just that?? she doesnt really leave lasting impressions on people
beatrice - cute, bubbly, maybe super annoying
alice - friendly? :D
20. how would a close friend they've known for a long time describe them?
ophelia - kinda stupid but really cute
beatrice - just a lil ray of sunshine :)
alice - if you're asking like.. kai or beatrice then it's "he's cute and fun and pretty and nice to hang out with!!" but if youre asking like percy or nero then its "hes creepy and gross and im gonna beat his ass"
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mentalanalyzer · 5 years
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Unadulterated Uncensored Bigotry
Maybe it’s because I’m tired, maybe it’s because I’m pissed at the world around me, but this has been on my mind for quite some time. Does your ethnicity define you? Are they ingrained in your genes? Nature vs. Nurture? While I find many parts of my personality are due to the American environment I have been brought up in, there are aspects of my personality, that I only see in Persians, despite the lack of that upbringing. Aspects that I only see shared amongst those back in Iran. How could have such aspects of my personality if I’ve never been exposed to it? And that brings me to the topic of the day. Profiling. 
This is for me, my ideas, this page is seen by me (I don’t even know why I get followers when I post once in a blue moon). I will not use politically correct terminology, because my terminology comes from a universal language, and that is the fact people are defined by their appearance. Black is black, not african american. Everyone in the world calls African Americans black people. Most consider Asians almond eyed people. This is how people are defined. I will be using generalization and stereotypes, and yes there are exceptions to everything, but generalization exist for a reason. Observations are not inherently racist, unless used as such. I have nothing against races of people, there are aspects of each culture I dislike and like. However, as stated before, people do seem to be potentially defined genetically by their culture. Without further ado. 
We shall start with Persians. Never have I met a group of individuals so arrogant with such a lack of humility. They are smart, crafty, intelligent, even attractive and physically fit. And they know it. And yet, we always fall. Because we are always arrogant, always thinking we’re better than everyone. We have no sense of humility, doing whatever we want with no regards to others and the consequences. Our society always rises because of our innate abilities, but always falls due to the flaws inherent in our personality. Our women, vain. They also have intelligence, and beauty, and they know it. Never have I met a group more vain than Persian women. Always striving to better than other women, insecurity rampant, and always jealous. Persian women have the most potential in all races of women, and yet I despise them the most out of all races of women. Their intelligence is rotted away with their obsession over looks. Their definition of power defined by their man. They are dominant, but become submissive as they are unable to do anything without their man. The women is battling her man, other women, and herself. A war on 3 fronts, is a war you cannot win. And it is for this reason, they always lose. The worst part is, Persians know this. This upsets me the most. They are aware of their arrogance and intelligence, and yet do nothing about. Like an alcoholic who refuses to quit. 
Asians, smart crafty devils, with an absolute lack of compassion for other races and usually severe racism as well. Robots? Not quite. Robots would be indifferent, Asians are not indifferent. Similar to Persians in intelligence and their understanding of it, but without the arrogance. The feeling of superiority, masked by humility, by sub-conscious racism (giving them the benefit of the doubt). They’re quiet, and always make themselves seem less than they are, but are always planning to best their competition. Drive and determination, but with a flawed premise. No love to bring others up with them, but rather leave everyone in the dust. To use the common man for self use, and make sure he doesn’t get to the same level. A comrade has no meaning. The women are the same, but their disdain for others is even worse. The perfect counter-part as they support and go hand in hand with their man. However, often times, they find themselves weak against their man. They are driven and determined, but as soon as they find an Asian man who stands to oppose them, they crumble. As if admitting superiority. See that’s the entire problem here with Asians, the concept of superiority. Persians are always brought down by our stupidity induced by our arrogance, but Asians always see themselves as superior as above. As soon as that image is crushed, they crumble. As if being below anyone is the realization of failure. This is what I mean by a flawed premise. 
Black people. Incredibly emotional, and lazy. Quick to anger, rash, lashes out easily. Uses great effort to build something, only to quickly destroy it. Hardworker...and yet I said lazy? Works hard, but not smart. Not that they can’t, just that they don’t want to. Life is hard, and yet if it’s simple, it’s not too bad. Yet complains that it’s not better, that they want it to be better, and yet doesn’t want to put the effort to make it better. Living in dreams, but never wants to make them a reality. An uphill battle that they can fight, but just that they don’t want to. Let someone else fight it for them, let them reap the rewards. Only fighting when they become emotional, but fighting out of anger, is a short fight. The fuse is only so long, and after it burns, back to mediocrity. Mediocrity isn’t a problem, if they didn’t find it a problem. Like a slouched spine. Works hard to keep you upright, but never quite does the job right. The women are similar to the women. Unsuprisingly, the women actually have more drive than the men. A culture so driven by emotions, it makes sense that the gender with more emotion is more driven. Dominant, aggressive, demanding....yet with all things extreme, easily broken. Unlike Persians with it being a fight against others and their own insecurities, and Asians with it being a fight against superiority and intelligence, with black people, it’s the fight of emotions. Don’t attack a black womens confidence or intelligence, attack her heart. That’s the walls weak point. 
Arabians, all the bravado of Persians, with none of the attributes. Take the arrogance of Persians, and take away the craft and intelligence, and you get Arabians. There is a difference though, see Persians arrogance is against everyone, including fellow Persians. This causes conflict amongst Persians, which is why we are always bringing ourselves down. Arabians create a heirachy, with arrogance designated towards others that are not Arabian. Targeted arrogance you might say. A shared ideology and common belief, is all it takes to becomes uneasy friends with Arabians. You are part of the “cool kids table” now as they say. They have no superior quality outside of numbers and co-operations (which may be a quality in and of itself). One of the most unified cultures out there. This is what makes extremism so likely however. A unification of simple ideals is all that is needed to make one part of the cool kids and having disdain and arrogance towards everyone else. But who defines the cool kids? This is the infighting for Arabians, and makes it so they always form unified groups fighting unified groups; whereas for Persians it’s always a free for all. The women are basically the same. Lack of intelligence, lack of looks, and yet vain and demanding. Inferior in every way to Persian women. I’d feel bad for their conditions, if it wasn’t the fact that they treat the men just as badly as the men treat the women. They’re submissive state is only due to the fear induced by the mens aggression. Against any other physically submissive group, they would dominate. There are other cultures with men physically dominant (like black men), but they only tolerate Arabian men. 
Indians. What is there to say? Racist, sexist, aggressive but weak? Out of all the groups, Indian men are the most sexist and treat women the worst. They make Arabian men look like angels. They have an inferiority complex, that they take out on the weaker groups due to lacking the balls to take someone on their own size. Their cowardness is unmatched in the world. Like the Asians, they too have a heirachy, and they strive to be the top. Unlike Asians though, they have compassion, and guilt. They will screw you over to get to the top, but they will feel bad about it (doesn’t mean they’ll do anything about it). Like Asians, they are quiet, but not out of disdain and contempt, but out of fear. They don’t bring themselves down like Asians (strategic), but rather only see themselves as lower due to the inferiority complex. This doesn’t mean they lack drive however, as they will still compete to be the top of their heirachy. Take the intelligence of Persians, but without the arrogance, and add the heart the Asians are missing, and you get Indians. Indian women on the other hand, are incredibly racist. The potential to be smart, but kept ignorant by their Indian men. Demanding, aggressive, insulting. Whereas Arabian women are physically abusive, Indian women are mentally abusive. They are like a peach, soft on the outside, but hard on the inside. 
Finally....the white man. Individualism as an ethnicity. Congregation by like minds for a greater purpose, but for everyone else below them, they are tools. The white man will not come above others like Asians, but will bring others down below him. The white man doesn’t look to live like the black man, or to congregate like the Arabians, or look to fullfill a superiority complex like the Asians, or to fight off an inferiority complex either. The white man looks to control for the aim of bettering his life. Arrogant, but aware enough of that arrogance to curb it to the point it is still deterimental, but not as severe as Persians. As for the women, they are used as tools just as everyone else for the white man. The women are emotional, ignorant, arrogant, with little drive and purpose outside of be the useful tool of the white man. A blanks slate....literally. Easily influenced and written, by the white man, or other cultures. This makes it so the white women is able to congregate more easily with other cultures; if the other cultures racism allows. 
Now, this may all appear negative, and it may appear I just hate all cultures, but that is just not the case. As is with everything, each culture has it’s positives and negatives. 
Persians have so much potential. Their men are smart, intelligent, and can become experts in any field (as many are). Their women have the most potential out of any group. Looks and brains, can’t beat them. Asians are also smart and intelligent, always raising the bar, always increasing the competition. The women as well. Smart and determined, but humble and quiet. As long as they are empowered, they can achieve just as much if not more than the man can. Everyone can learn from black people. From all the groups, I love being in the company of this group the most. They have....soul.. would be the best way to put it. They are what it means to be human, to express yourself, and to live. Arabians demonstrate the power of Unity and tolerance. With their empire being one of the most peaceful and prosperious for it’s residents. The ability to set the petty aside and focus on the main ideals that unite all of us. Their women demonstrate how despite being oppressed and put down, you can always keep that drive and determination to be better. That no one can stop you. Indians are the nicest people in existence. Bettering their neighbor, and always trying to live with love and compassion. Their women are in fact the reasons this is the case, with mothers who teach the importance of loving oneself and ones neighbors. The white man, the centerpiece of all of this. Having the potential to unify all the groups, and have them cordially work with one another. While Persian woman are born with the most potential, white women are designed with the most potential in mind. The blank slate, combined with beauty and grace, enables them to create their own personality, and to be influenced by other cultures. Allowed to fluorish on their own, the white woman is one of the purest in all the groups. 
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fgiggl3sx2 · 3 years
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I want to fucking scream. I want to fucking cry. I want to fucking disappear. Why does all this keep happening? I feel i will never be good enough for you. I do things not thinking or knowing that it could possibly mess things up for us. I have never gone through this before, i never been with someone who gets pissed off with me because i deleted pictures of myself because i find them ugly or i just dont like it. It sucks because of the fact i didnt tell you all the trust is gone. It sucks that i downloaded messenger to check something cause i assumed you was using it i cant be trusted because i didnt tell you. youre right i dont think of these things because to be honest ive never had to do any of this before so its hard for me to keep up everything just to make you happy and for you to be at ease but some how i always manage to fuck it up without meaning too. And even if i explain myself and tell you the truth and the why behind it.. its too late because you already feel the way you feel and its not fair to me because im literally doing nothing wrong. And you still feel im talking to someone but how? You have all my information you can clearly see what i do and who i talk too. So because i dont remember old information i cant be trusted? You dont remember old and newer information but i trust your word behind it but because of what i did when it came to jeff its different right? Which isnt fair. It sucks that you always search for things in my past, yeah i did it in the beginning which i shouldnt have. But why are you doing it now? Its not right, but of course you are going to use that against me and make me feel like shit always. Any little thing i do you always make me feel like shit for it. It sucks, it sucks that im walking on fucking eggshells with you, because it seems like anything i do is wrong in your eyes when all i been trying to do is fix myself and us. Its gotten to the point where i question if you even love me anymore? Are you looking for reasons to just not love me anymore or to not care anymore? Are you looking for reasons to try and leave or just not give a shit about our relationship because it will be easier for you? ... I took a break from typing.. but here’s a random question you ever took a shower and then just put your hands on your ears and just let out a silent scream. i swear i was there just silently screaming for a good 2mins under the water with tears running down my face. i had the strongest fucking urge to cut myself like i just needed too.. instead i was just scratching at my chest i promised him i would never harm myself again but fuck do i want too. I hate this i truly hate this, i hate how im feeling its too much i feel myself exploding from it all. I ended up giving you proof because you feel that all i do is keep lying to you when im not i tell you the truth about it all but dont give EXACT detail. Why do i have to apply that i had to log into mine to click on your profile if i wasnt even viewing my own.. think of it as a detour you just pass through  a different way but you dont actually stop anywhere .. i didnt stop to view who messaged me i could care fucking less who messaged me but you dont understand that.. and oh look you found another reason to not want to trust me “how ironic” as you would say. Then assume i deleted shit when i didnt and if i did on fb it would tell you if i did or not. The messages you were thinking of was on instagram but because you dont want to believe it because you are uncertain im still a liar? And then you go and assume i would unblock him what fucking for? i have everything i need and want right in from of me which is you!! Why is it that you cant make any mistakes why is it only me? Like obviously you made a mistake but whatever i will take the blame for that one too because fuck it, im already at fault for everything else.Then we are going to bring up the cheating message there is so many different forms of cheating doesnt mean its right because its not cheating in any form is cheating. Me seeing someone behind your back is a form of cheating even if i didnt physically do anything with that person, but because i knew she liked me it was wrong of me to hang out with her. The only person i physically did that too was Guillo. But after him everyone else cheated on me and i felt i was in the wrong for hanging out with her knowing i shouldnt even though they already cheated on me.. i will always blame myself for everything because obviously i did something wrong for them to cheat on me right? It all stopped when i met Ryan though. He changed me in many ways and to be a better person i then knew what i wanted in a relationship and i knew i wanted to be married one day and to settle down so that was my goal in life. So when i say i use bad choice of words sometimes i really fucking do at times. Shit when i was with ryan i felt bad for even doing stuff with my baby daddy at times even if it was for chance. Thats how much i changed.. and when we cross paths again is when you met the changed me. And i fell so fucking hard for you and i already fucked up once. I dont know why you feel that i would EVER want to fucking do it again. HELL NO, i want to be your wife i would never cheat on you!! Im sorry it feels like endless lies but i did fix that but when im under pressure i fuck up soo much that i tend to ruin everything and i hate that about myself. I never been more sure of someone like you before. i never tried so hard in a relationship before either.. like when jessica said i came along way believe that because i really fucking did. i do things for you i would never do.. i didnt even do with ryan like give all my info to you and have you forever be able to read my texts. i would never do that for anybody i would tell them to fuck right off to trust me. i know its not easy trusting me right now because i keep fucking up my words and doing everything poorly because we simply think differently. But doesnt mean i wont keep pushing and trying. I just dont want you to give up on me because i know in person it was soo much easier for us it was and you KNOW THAT. I just hope you can make it up that long. and i hope you still want to be my Husband Brandon because i want to be the best wife you ever had.. and i want to be your wife. and i will continue to change and improve us and myself. for better or for worse. I hope you dont take this message as another fight because i dont have anymore fight left in me. I still cant stop crying.. you dont have to respond to this message at all. Just please ... Will you stay? Will you continue to fight? Most importantly ... Will you marry me? </3 
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thisiskindagross · 7 years
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Satan and Me Asks
1.)  for the questions thing - are you cool w sexuality headcanons for ur characters??
I’m assuming you mean if people in the fandom make sexuality headcanons? And of course. You guys can do whatever you want. I know I’ve only posted about a few sexualities, so there’s not much to go on anyway.
2.)  Is hell really gone out of Satan forever? How long does Nat's wish last?
Hell’s not gone from Satan. It’s still inside of him, but he doesn’t hear the constant voices in his head anymore because of Natalie’s wish. That was what she sold her soul for, so the wish will stay in effect the rest of his existence.
3.)  Will we be seeing Pax or Felix soon? What about that small little boy?
Pax and Felix looking for Zadkiel is kind of a side plot in the comic, so I can’t say for sure when they will intercept. My guess is anywhere in the next 15 updates?
4.)  Do satan's earings indicate his emotions as well?
When Satan is in “human” form, his earrings are like his horns. They will change between yellow and red based on his mood.
5.)  is gabriel ok?
At the moment, no. He’s in considerable distress, but he will be. You’ll see this arc.
6.)  So im a ask, how does satan really feel about nat being damned to hell and him not being able to figure out how to stop it? He seems to care if she does.
He doesn’t like it at all, but since they can’t change it atm he is choosing to not think about it.
7.)  Has Satan thought about sex with Nat?
He’s been too preoccupied with the Apocalypse and the recent Titus thing (and now Natalie being sick) to really think about anything like that, I’d think. That’s not to say he’s never thought about sex in general, but just the plot never called for him to so? He really hasn’t.
8.)  any ships you generally don't like?
I mean, my taste in ships change all the time and have no effect in canon. There are some ships that become/are already canon that I don’t care for, and there are some I really like that I know will never be canon. For example, I used to hate Ganthea, but now I like it. It really depends. I flip-flop around a lot. I’d feel bad though listing ships I don’t care for, just because I don’t want to make anyone feel bad for liking something. Just because I don’t shouldn’t mean that you guys can’t like them. 
So in the spirit of not making someone feel bad IDK if I can fully answer this question.
9.)  any insights into how angel society works/what it generally is like for the various background angels? what do they get up to? are they all the same ones who were created back at the Beginning? how do they view current comic events (if they generally know anything)? what do they think of their 'leaders' (the archangels)?
Loaded question lol Well, the angels canonically in the bible are ranked. There are a lot of classes of angels; the archangels are actually second from the bottom. They’re literally just protectors and foot soldiers, I guess that’s the closest I could equate them to. So the vast majority of angels are just the society in the comic, whereas the ones who follow the archangels actually enlist to be in the army.
Each archangel leads a squad (except Raphael, who only works with the medic angels in the hospital). Each squad has a certain duty (ex: Jophiel’s is trained in recovery and surveillance, Zadkiel’s was p much the ones who take on tough jobs that have a low mortality rate, Gabriel’s is trained in support and backup to other troops, etc). They’re sorted and placed under an archangel depending on their test results. I actually do plan to do a dumb little comic about angels enlisting at one point.
Angel society as a whole aren’t 100% up to current events, because the archangels and higher up angels dictate what information is allowed to be trickled down. They also don’t want to cause alarm so they bend the truth a little bit. Right now majority of the angels aren’t even aware what really happened with Titus (like they didn’t know that someone was trying to overthrow Satan).
Not all of them were created at the beginning. Some were, others are fairly new. It really depends. It also depends on their personality if they like the archangels or not, so it’s hard to lump them all in together. For the most part the angels not in the army are blissfully unaware of the things around them. They stay in Heaven and mind their own business.
10.)  Why is Angel Michael so upset about Human Michael? And what does Human Michael think about Angel Michael?
Angel Michael is upset not at Mike P, but the situation. He likes humans but he doesn’t want to be a human. So the idea of being put into his body upsets him a lot. Mike P. doesn’t know anything about Michael; he’s just trying to process the information. When he does, he will want to get to know him.
11.)  Have any of the angels actually crushed on a human before
Quite a few have, but virtually none act on it. They would be executed if they procreated with a human, as would the nephilim baby. It’s a “look but don’t touch” situation.
12.)  okay okay you wont tell us the end game ships & das okay, but can you tell us who you personally ship Natalie with?
Natalie’s the rare character that I can ship with 95% of the cast, if written a certain way. The list would be too long lol
13.)  Do we get anything about Luce's past in the comic? I know there are parts from where he's an angel but maybe how he grew up or him as smol babe? Perhaps some cute scenes where they interact with God as their father and cutesy things?
There will be comics like this, yes.
14.)  What are the places/businesses Ipos and Sheila set up in the past? 
Ipos spent a lot of time around various parts of the world. During the 1700-1800s he stayed in Ireland, where he met Sheila officially. She spent most of her time in the Southern Hemisphere, and stayed in Australia for a while. 
Ipos was in the military for a while, too, so he could see more places, learn more about humans, keep tabs on everything. The real Ipos he’s based off of is actually an information keeper, so I tried to keep that true to form in the comic as well. Under different guises, Ipos and Sheila have run restaurants, bars, brothels, a hardware store, gun shops, camping supply stores, construction companies, real estate businesses.
15.)  Are all demons fallen angels, or were some just always demons? Also, is it possible for angels to have kids, either with each other or with humans? 
95% of demons are Fallen Angels. The few that aren’t are either born from bad circumstance/human sorrow, or have been made in a pact with another higher level Fallen. (I actually have a series that explains the first contracts with demons but that won’t debut for another few years I’d surmise. It’s touched upon as well in future “Here it Comes” updates.)
Angels can have children with each other, though it’s rare, and they can reproduce with humans. Nephilim, human and angel children, are very strong and very unpredictable so they’re viewed as taboos. In the bible it’s a big reason why God flooded the earth with Noah and his ark. Angels had copulated and had children with humans so they drowned them and their parents. (I’ve heard speculation that Goliath from David and Goliath was a nephilim baby too, but IDK how accurate that is).
  16.)  What is Kristi's family like? 
Kristi has her parents, Norma and Ray Lange, and an older sister who is in college, Lily. Kristi’s mother is high maintenance, which is probably where Kristi got it from. Her father grew up in town with Alex McAllister, and he used to bully him a lot. He had a crush on Carla (but was stuck dating her cousin), so that’s another reason he doesn’t like Alex. He settled for Kristi’s mom when he met her later, so it’s not exactly a love built marriage. He’s not too interested in his home life. Kristi’s sister is easy going and nice. She has a good relationship with Kristi.
17.)  Does Raphael have any fears about like real physical stuff/like how people have fears of snakes, spiders etc
Raphael doesn’t have a lot of fears like that. His are more mental stuff. But he is scared of bats. Won’t go near them.
18.)  Are there things about the story that you wish you could change but can't 'cause it's too late? if so, what?
Yeah, there are a couple. I wish I did more with Jericho. I watered him down for the comic, which I’m regretting. He was going to be more problematic than that. I’d like to keep Ipos and Sheila around a little longer, but they died p quick. There are scrapped updates I wish I went through with, but I can’t do anything about that now.
19.)  will we see pestilence and famine interacting with natalie and satan?
Not sure about Famine, but Pestilence yes.
20.)  Would it be fair to ask about what kind of piercings each character has? I know that each has their own unique ones and since we don't always see all the piercings (as with Anthea, whose belly piercings aren't revealed until that one episode) and it would be cool to know all the piercings that each has.
That’s a lot to list, but I’ll just say what piercing someone has if it’s under clothing.
Zadkiel has lower back dermals, Pax has a Apadravya, Jophiel has hip dermals.
 21.)  So how come Lucifer only uses "Festus" and doesnt call Felix "Felix"? 
Lucifer’s more formal like that. I’m sure if Felix pushed the issue he would change, but it’s really force of habit cuz that name comes to mind first when he talks/thinks about him.  
22.) How do you make updates do you write out a script or do you just make it up as you go?
I make it up as I go. Aside from a few events I know that I want to take place, I have no idea how I’m getting there and just let what happens on each new page take me there. A lot of times I’m surprised how the story changed, but that’s what makes it fun
23.)  Are we going to find out what happened to Yup's parents? 
If anything it will be subtle if it’s mentioned in passing, but IDK if it will. His dad and mom weren’t married so his dad split. His mom was into recreational drugs and was evicted from their apartment because of insufficient funds when Yup was 6.  She left him at the freeway underpass when she couldn’t deal with her situation anymore. When Zadkiel found Yup he’d been on his own for a month or so.
24.)  Do any of the angels or demons have any Phobias or fears? Just random things they are afraid of for no reason or for a specific reason at all
They do, it just depends on the demon. Anthea was afraid of driving on the freeway. Felix is afraid of being ignored. Zoe is afraid of small spaces.
25.)  i've always been curious... what exactly were titus' spikes made of? were they some type of metal? and did it hurt him to use them?
It did hurt, but he had a high pain tolerance. They were a mixture of calcium and stone (like Cain with Abel).
26.)  Do any of the angels have tattoos besides Gabriel and Raguel?
Some do, just depends. They usually have a specific reason in mind if they do.
27.)  Do any of the angels look less than human?
Yes.
28.)  What was laila's brother's name?
Lyle. Laila’s name is actually Veronique and her middle name is Laila. After he died, she started going by Laila to feel closer to him, since they sounded similar.
29.)  Does Michael have an ex and does she have a name?
Michael does have an ex. They were together briefly before she fell, not enough time to really get attached but he was curious enough to try. They aren’t really touched upon in the comic so I never gave them a name.
30.)  So something I was wondering, bc I love Ipos and wish he was in the comic longer, does he have an Irish accent because he was in Ireland for so long and decided to adapt it? Also how tf is Ipos pronounced, bc i say it like eye-pos but idk if thts right.
He has a small accent, yes. And yeah, it’s eye-pos.
31.)  Have you ever imagined any Satan and Me babies? Not the characters themselves as children, but having children
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32.) Since Raguel is only 55, Does that mean he actually has a birthday then?
The day he was created was April 2nd on the 20th century calendar, as opposed to the other archangels who were born at the beginning of earth’s creation.
33.)  I was wondering is Michael jealous of how close nat and satan are? like when satan flew off with nat after the scuffle. I noticed Michael didnt look too happy. By the way I love your blog its the best It puts a fun twist on bible stories/charecters.
Michael is very jealous of Natalie and Satan’s relationship. It drives him up a wall.
34.)  I actually thought of one, surprise surprise. We know a few of the "who knew who first" scenarios, but did felix know of Lucifer first, or meet Anthea first? I suppose the same question could go for Anthea over Felix and Gabriel.
Felix knew of Satan first and was already enamored with him by the time he met Anthea. Anthea met Felix before Gabriel, though. In that WIP Gabriel and Anthea comic pre-fall I think it’s addressed that they met later down the line.
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1/23/2020
i am actually getting freaked out about how much time is passing without me logging in or anything. a lot of course has happened in the 7+ months ive been gone. its like a fucking pregnancy
ive literally been gone almost long enough to have a fucking child. i should start writing in here more, bobbi even suggested that. i had a meltdown at her house a couple of weeks ago and she gave me some really great advice....jase too.
i was upset bc craig and i had another fight. we had just gotten back from ny and i got sick with sinus infection and pink eye. wonderful. he came over and gave me some schpeel about...wait...schpiel? shpealllll....shpiel?? 
*clears throat* 
....about how he would like for us to be a couple that has great self discipline and shit... blah blah blah. im so annoyed. not only was it the most imperfect timing (me feeling as bad as i look) but as if i already didnt feel like shit.
this september, on MY birthday actually, we had a huge blowout bc i just couldnt take it anymore. i was sick of feeling fat, imperfect, ugly, not fit, all that jazz. 
what caused it all was him pointing out how i had bad posture while driving to his house. i fucking lost my shit.
“WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP POINTING OUT MY INSECURITIES I FEEL LIKE IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU IM SICK OF THIS SHIT I SHOULD NOT FEEL THIS BAD ABOUT MYSELF ALL THE TIME AND IM SICK OF THE PASSIVE AGRESSIVE COMMENTS YOU MAKE ABOUT ME AND MY BODY AND I FEEL LIK EVERY TIME YOU TOUCH ME ITS LIKE YOU’RE EVALUATING MY BODY FAT”
to be fair, i shoudlnt have blown the fuck up. but come on. i had been dealing with this shit for over two years. since float fest, maybe even before that. which is awful bc i shouldnt feel so bad everytime i look in the mirror. 
when im with my boyfriend or future husband or whatever...i should feel like the most beatufiyl person, inside and out. like i can tell him EVERYTHING and not feel like i have to lie to protect myself. 
this is just scary bc the bottom line is lately i havent felt like that. in a long time. like prob over a year. which sucks. 
anyways, the solution i came up with was to not talk about food, health, or fitness for 3 months. yup. i laid down the law. 
but at the same time, i needed to. this had really manifested itself into something super super ugly. where when we went out to eat i would order what i would think he would WANT me to order, not bc he said anything, but bc of the pressure i felt whether that was coming from him or me. 
i would also lie about getting fast food by myself or feel happy when i would skip a meal bc it was less calories- these are very unhealthy behaviors and i did tons more.
i felt like the little commesnt like grande girl or glutton girl really got to me and he probably felt like he could make those comments safely bc i wasnt fat or unhealthy. but he made me feel like it. 
im still working on it everyday, but right now im hitting a wall.
Bobbi told me to start writing more bc i think the stream of consciousness helps me cope. and i know shes right. i tell craig the same thing and he says it helps him gather his thoughts and whatnot.
i went over to her house freaking out bc i found myself in a state where i’m afraid of everything- this is actually my current state. i just had a major realization. 
im afraid of love. marriage. committment.. running. exercising. living together. moving forward- even though that's everything i want
craig also said that he felt like hes not allowed to touch me and we havent had sex in a while. bobbi pointed out that this is probably bc i wasnt taking care of myself and bc I didnt like MYSELF so i didnt want anyone near me.
she was def right about that. 
so i started doing more for myself and prioritizing the things i needed to do over everything else. its been nice. i even took a bath today. and the thing is craig is happy when i do things for myself like that. which is great.
but im still defensive and i still reject physical touch. i dont feel that kind of love i felt for craig at the beginning and he probably knows that. weve been through so much and ifeel like i dont know what to do.
i feel like were so unhealthy and i feel like things are always so fucking hard. i mean you know whats batshit crazy....? weve been dating for almost 5 motherfucking years. 
im so upset. not that weve been dating for that long, but because i feel like were still in such a juvenile spot. i got made earlier in 2019 bc craig is JUST NOW thinking about marriage and is having a forward thinking mindset. justnow. i am 25. im just sick of dating someone younger than me sometimes. 
i want to be lead. i want someone whos there for me. i want security, reliabiolity, etc.
last night we atually got into an arguemnt over bobbi and jase: tl;dr i feel like hes weird aroudn them and didnt liek the fact that he says a ton of outlandish negative untrue bullshit about jase and its not even true. its just based off of the “vibes” he gets. i dont do that. i try to be as kind as i can to everyone and i just feel like he has a lack of tolerance. i dont like that. i want him to have a good heart and treat everyone as they should be regardless of their background, unhealthy habits etc. 
i just feel like maybe the more we grow old or whatever, the less compatible were getting. and im exhausted. i dont feel like dating anyone else i dont even feel like dating him sometimes.
something cool we did discover, along with the fact that i need to take care of myself more is that in the relationship i have alwasy been “on” or “on call” in a way of alwasy being alert and never at rest bc i feel like he needs me to show up somewhere and in a way it was my way of showing that i cared about the relationship bc it was always top of mind, wrong. i am tired and maybe thats why i always got on his ass about random bullshit bc i felt like i was always putting in way more effort than he was, bc i was. in a bad way.
I'm really lost and i don't know what to do. I've been in new Orleans (still am) for Kaltura connect and its been super fun to meet a ton of cool people. but i am so tired, I worked almost a 12 hour day yesterday and conferences are exhausting. 
maybe im feeling this way bc I'm tired? i just hope we get it back even though sometimes it feels like we wont’. our relationship has always been so volatile form the very beginning and i was hoping that over time it would get better. in some ways it has, in some ways it hasnt. 
i look at couples and marriage photos and see the love and the joy these other people experience and i wonder if i will ever get that. sometimes with craig i think yes, but sometimes i think no. what if this ends. i know ill be okay if it does but obviously thats not ideal. the thing is that were not even married and i dont feel that now, will i ever? will it come back? im praying for an amazing and safe but spontaneous love and ive been praying that for a while, i just dont know if ill ever get that with him. is this God telling me this is the end? then again,  ive felt like this before
like last year 12.23.18 when craig called me a slut and called my family psychos at the slc track bc i accidentally threw keys at my face. it took me the majority of 2019 to get over that. and to get over the fact that 4 months later i was going to be fired from wells fargo.
bottom line is im getting older and i feel like i don't have time for stupid bullshit or to feeol bad about myself, but the problem is that i still do. maybe this is just the beginning of the end. we love each other so much- i really do and i mean it. sometimes i feel like i could never be this comfortable with anyone ever again, but then again i said that last time with chad.
fuckkkkkkkkk i hate feeling like this. i hate being so unsure about everything and feeling like shit. i feel lonely bc sometimes our disagreements are so bad. i just want him to grow up and get over htis shit or maybe its just time to move on.
hes already done some growing up but i cant keep banking on that to happen in a long term plan bc what happens if he doesnt..... then what. 
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