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cpunkwitch · 8 months

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answering my own questions

[pt: answering my own questions]

dont really get sent anything and not many people sent in the questions when the games were posted and reblogged, and i wanted to talk about stuff, so here we are.

this might end up being a multiple part post series?

ask game one (link)

(if comfortable) tell us about your condition? as much info as youre comfy with sharing.

i have a defect in the base of my spine, since i was born its caused me chronic pain all throughout my development and in recent years its only gotten worse, twisting my spine, headaches, jaw issues etc. i've also got highly suspected rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and ive been diagnosed with a pretty bad case of anemia so bad that everytime a doctor looks at my results after bloodwork they give me a pained look and say "heyy...did you know your iron is low? like...really really low?". that and a hand full of other things, vitamin deficiencies, etc. i dont mind talking more about this

2. do you know about the spoon theory? if yes, what do you think of it?

i'll be honest, the majority of my knowledge of spoon theory off the top of my head is that "drawer with limited supply of spoons" is the disabled way of saying i only have so much motivation and energy (phys, as "battery" usually refers to social and emotional) in me. i've read up on it ages ago but would not be able to put into better words what i still remember about spoon theory (esp since we had a different host back then), i like that its just so much quicker and easier to convey my amount of ability to do things for the day by saying whether or not i have the spoons for it.

i do like to joke that my drawer is always stocked with knives and forks for the ablests, but sometimes that requires spoons to handle too. /silly

3. do you have mobility aids? if yes, which ones? if no, do you want any in the future?

i've mention how i really wish i could have a wheelchair if i were in a different situation, i dont know if i'll ever get one and i almost cried when my brother responded to my joke of "would you make on for me?" with an "i would if i could", i really would like a wheelchair of some kind in the future if the world were more accessible and i were in a safer place. right now though, i've just got my cane that still needs repainting. i guess my moms back brace counts too, i take it with me to work sometimes.

4. how did you find out about cripplepunk? what drew you to the community and movement?

i dont exactly remember but i've known about it for years. i (prev host) might have come across it looking up different punk aesthetics, though im not completely sure why it showed up in a punk aesthetic list, possibly because its punk and people misinterpreted it? my first glimpse was seeing patches on jackets, spiked customized aids, cripples/phys disabled people in your classic punk attire (piercings, dyed spiked mohawks, ripped jeans and fingerless gloves) and i loved it. im a sucker for self expression through appearance and customizing things and then when i found out it was a whole community for support and centered around being physically disabled in general and slowly came to terms with my own disabled body and started accepting myself, i kinda fell in love with cripplepunk in the "this feels like home" sense.

i could probably ramble way more but i'll stop there.

5. if you deal with any kind of pain, what's your method of pain management?

i use hot packs, ice packs, voltaren cream, sometimes i take a cbd gummy, i do little stretches when i remember them, i take walks and hot baths/showers, im trying to go back to the chiropractor and my favourite instructors in rehab (theyre trans friendly and complimented my cane when i first came in with it i love them so much), and i take whatever meds i can, normally anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen but because i cant swallow pills i either take liquid (yeah, childs liquid meds works, the couple hours of mild relief is still worth it) or powdered tylenol or something. the hot/cold stuff depends on the pain and where on my body the pain is.

6. do you stand or sit in the shower or do you prefer baths/find bathing easier rather than showers?

i take baths for my muscles and during the damn monthly ouch in order to relax my body. i take showers just for my shoulders and when im feeling icky and wanna rinse off or something, i take showers on a "regular" basis and i normally stand because the only way i sit is if im crouched in the tub and if i do that i get extra dizzy standing up to get out when i turn the water off. thankfully im no longer near passing out when i take a shower but i still have to sit on the floor matt after because my legs demand rest. i gotta be careful with hot water cuz not only will it make me overheat quickly (i will not realize if in standing in blood-boiling hot water and turning myself into a cooked lobster until after im out) but it can also cause me to literally fall asleep in the bath which can go wrong.

7. do you have a sort of comfort item or safety blanket that helps you feel better, especially on the worst days?

a couple things. a few of them are stuffies/plushies, or music, games or books to help me keep my mind off it i suppose.

8. name 3 things you hate about hospitals/doctors/nurses/the medical system

a) a lot of them refuse to take people seriously or actually listen. sure maybe theyre tired or heard the same shtick before and wanna make sure this person isnt just a drug user trying to pity their way into getting more, but even then all matters a patient presents them with should still be taken seriously and never brushed off or mocked.

b) the fact that the er, the place you take a ticket and wait, is called the Emergency Room, when its normally scheduled appointments and people taken in by the ambulance that are top priority. sure its called the er because most visits through the er are rushed "emergency" last minute visits, people going there because they couldnt schedule an appointment and needed to see someone on that day, but still it feels wrong to call it the emergency room when its really just a waiting room and regardless of the visit they arent actually treated as emergencies. the whole system of just going to see a doctor feels messed up and most of the time you end up just going to see a nurse, get a check up and leave when they tell you what they got after a talk and examination or they schedule to see you again when a doctor is available. because of this i tend to prefer walk in clinics.

c) the fact that they charge to damn much, no matter if youre insured, it still charges so much. no matter what they do. and yeah, healthcare in canada is free to an extent if youre insured but a lot of times they charge more than your insurance can cover and not everyone can get/has insurance. not to mention the medical debt so many people have in america. i get that staff and hospitals need pay and funding but the government should have that covered and not have the patients charged so much for getting help. i almost got charged over 3k just for my short visit to the ward because there was an issue with my insurance and thats a whole angry story for another time.

9. whats an accessibility tool you wish was more accessible/that you had access to?

one of them is aac, the one i have on my phone i have to disconnect my phone to and has a limited amount of phrases i can pick from. id like it better if the app or just aac programs in general when directly to your device speaker by default, had more options for more ease conversing and none of them were behind a damn pay wall, in-app purchase or otherwise. i rarely use it for several reasons but i'd love if i could use it more with less limitations.

also wheelchair ramps. i dont have a wheelchair ramp but i wish people stopped walking on them when theyre clearly able-bodied, i wished my parents taught me and my siblings what the ramps were for and not to run up and down them as well as other parents to their kids because those things are supposed to be clear for a wheelchair user. i also think the corners should be rounded for ease of turning and that wheelchair accessible paths in general should be firm to the ground (not a wimpy matt on the sand that flips over and gets buried on the beach unmaintained), maintained and cleaned regularly, not have any gaps (ive seen so many of the small ones installed in doorways that have a height gap above the ground which causes trouble getting the wheelchair on the ramp let alone through the damn door) and not have railings made of metal if theyre outside (they can often reflect light into peoples eyes and get too hot to touch in the sun both of which are not good issues to have no matter how small they seem.)

those are at least the first to come to mind.

10. whats the worst accessability cockblock you've seen ableds do/make?

theres quite a few i've seen but atm nothing significant comes to mind other than overpricing mobility aids or placing paywalls in front of aids in general.

however there was the few times in more than one school i went to you had to go to the office, provide a 'valid' reason and ask them for a key to the elevator, otherwise they make you take the stairs. i know they do it because they dont want able-bodied kids messing with it n shit but its stupid, it should be accessible to everyone regardless. thank fuck both collages ive been to so far give free elevator use to any staff or student but in the schools i went to i was only allowed have the access key because i couldnt walk up the steps on my sprained/twisted ankle and i had to give it back at the end of every day. the last school even limited my use to just the morning or 1-2 periods that i had on the second floor. nevermind if my locker was up there.

11. whats an accessibility tool youre very thankful for?

screen readers. my little brother uses/used em more than me and i dont use them too often but im glad they exist in general i used them when i was younger and my english teachers gave us work on the computer, i used it like an audiobook and it helped me majorly. i hate that people dont always provide translations to things and make things harder on screen readers by using coloured, tiny, non-serif font-ed or 'quirked' text but ever since i was a kid i was just as happy they existed as i was about braille.

12. name 3 things you like about hospitals/docs/nurses/the medical system

a) that there are some people there who are actually hoping, willing and ready to listen and help others.

b) that they provide things for kids like toys in the waiting room, people who specialize in caring for kids in the hospital, some doctors even have their office decorated. one doctor i went to had her entire office winnie the pooh themed and it helped me out a lot when i got blood work done n stuff, it was really comforting to stare at pooh bear instead of the sharp pokey in my arm.

c) that things are usually kept quiet with low voices, as it reduces risk of overstimulation as well as avoids hurting anyones head and protects privacy of those talking about whats going on. voices are usually only raised to a normal talking level when in the privacy of a nurse or doctor office and its something i dont see really acknowledged anywhere.

13. do you have any favourite disability rep? (media or character)

not picking from my own sources, when it comes to physical disability rep, its hard for me to pick something that involves a realistic character because most of them arent very well portrayed or i cant personally relate to. i can list Freddy freeman as one, hes a crutch user and how the shazam movie portrayed him does well in expressing what ableism can be like for some visibly disabled kids in school. i could probably list some shows that handle disability well through other means if i thought of them, i know theres a few that handle it through super heros being disabled (the one spider-person who's got both a wheelchair and a cane from the recent spiderverse movie for example) or non-human characters having differences that are implied to be disabilities, and i adore that creativity, especially with showing disabled super heros as it tells disabled kids theyre still strong, not broken, they can still be cool and do great things just like able-bodied people. hard for me to name specific things off the top of my head though, guess i like specific tropes around disability rep more than anything. it helps normalize disability and thats what really makes me happy with it. (thats a big reason why i made @/your-fave-is-crippled)

14. least favourite/worst disability rep?

not phys disabled but sia's fucked up movie right off the bat still angers me. i cant name any specifics once again, normally if theres some rep that i dont like i purposely forget they exist to begin with, they arent worth remembering if they arent gonna do it right, y'know? id rather forget and move on than linger and rage about it if i can help it.

15. list some creators (youtubers/bloggers etc) that are disabled and/or cater to a disabled audience that you enjoy? (if any)

@crippled-pvp, @cripple-culture-is are a couple blogs i follow that i enjoy seeing on my dash (sorry if you dont want to be tagged!)

there was a deaf/hoh girl i used to frequent the content of as she talks a lot about signing and i really enjoyed her videos, shes such a sweet person but i never remembered her name nor any of the other creators i watched/followed. no one else comes to mind atm

16. favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

i like that there are people with advice at the ready, whatever question you have or info you need etc, theres always going to be someone with the words you need. i just like how helpful people can be in general in this community and how easily support is accessed through the community.

17. least favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

the fact that theres in-fighting, fake claiming, judgment, quick assumptions, and general internalized ableism still going on when we're supposed to be a community helping each other out not tearing each other down. im not just talking about the fight over "inclusion vs exclusion" on cripplepunk and other sub/separate communities in the disability community.

18. favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

i think my answer to "what drew you to cripplepunk" also answers this.

19. least favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

honestly? none. i hate the people forcing themselves into a space not meant to include them nor benefits them in the first place. i cant actually think of an issue i have with the cpunk community, only issues with people outside being upset over how "exclusive" it is because they want in.

20. free space:

feel free to ask me about any of my answers! i'll make a second post for the second ask game some other time. its currently 11pm and i have to get up early for morning classes yuck

[ID: banner reading "dni if... proship, transx/id, syscourse/discourse blog, anti-mspec lesbians/gays, anti-lesboy/turigirl more in pinned rentry. this blog is protected by the addams family, the de rolo family and co." in all black lowercase text. It has a grey cloud background. On the left is the De Rolo coat of arms with a cobweb in the top corner and symmetrically flipped on the right is the symbol of Vox Machina with the same cobweb in the bottom corner :End ID]

#cass rambles #disability blogging #actually disabled #physically disabled #cripplepunk #physical disability #cpunk #disabled #cripple punk #cpunk blog #answers

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deathbydarkelves · 1 year

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For Cathala: 2, 18, 36 & 57?

Oh man, lots to answer >:) (below the cut, that is. Also warning for brief discussion of PTSD and drug use.)

2: What’s their biggest regret?

Starting off with a heavier one here. It’s without a doubt that she didn’t successfully, or at least do more to, get her parents and sister out with her during Teldrassil. She barely remembers anything other than single, isolated images, but years later she still tells herself she could have done more, should have done more. It’s survivor’s guilt at work, unfortunately. And it’ll take her a long time to work through it :(

-----

18: What’s their dream job?

I like to joke Cathala’s about 50% unconditional love and 50% unquenchable bloodlust and that’s actually quite appropriate here. When she got stranded on Pandaria, she had to of course learn to speak, read, and write Pandaren. ((Taking inspiration from real-life Chinese here, which I don’t speak in any capacity, so bear with me)) In the process, she fell in love with Pandaren poetry: how there’s words in the written language that barely exist or don’t exist at all in the spoken language and yet still have meaning, how masterfully pandaren poets could use that to their advantage, how many words can have multiple meanings, and generally just how the written language practically gave itself to being an art form. She’d dabbled in poetry on Kalimdor, but this was like someone had handed her a massive blank canvas and all the fanciest paints and inks in the world and told her she could do whatever she wanted. So she wrote really shitty poetry until she figured out what she was doing and got better at it. By now she’s actually quite good. She’s written Tarinne quite a number of Darnassian love poems too, but always says she wishes Tarinne could read the Pandaren versions in Cathala’s head.

All that to say, she’d choose to be a poet if she wasn’t also a fighter. It’s hard to sit down at her writing desk for days on end when she knows for a fact she could be out in the world righting wrongs by kicking all those wrongs in the head. She isn’t sure which she’d rather do. For the time being, she tries to do both. Her hands are equal parts stained with blood and ink, she’s said. Take that how you will.

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36: What’s their favorite thing about themself?

I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s her number one favorite thing about herself ((I couldn’t name my favorite thing about myself)), but what’s pretty high up on the list is how good of a cook she is. She takes after her father with her love of food, and being among pandaren for so long certainly intensified it. She always puts in 110% even when all she has to work with is travel rations like salt pork and four and a half dried peppers. And you can bet she’s putting all four and a half of those peppers in the pan. You wouldn’t catch her dead making anything that didn’t make you tear up at least a LITTLE. Lastly, her family were fishers, so seafood is a specialty of hers.

She’s also not shy about her skill in combat. From an objective standpoint… she’s not a good monk. She’s not about honor in combat (she has VERY strong opinions about that), she’s not about inner peace and balance, or any of that. But she is a good brawler, and is good at using her monk training to end fights as quickly as possible. She’s not above paralyzing an opponent just so she’ll have an easier time killing them when they’re defenseless on the ground. And, rightfully or not, she’s proud of that. She believes that’s how things should be done. It’s certainly won her a lot of fights, and she doesn’t quickly forget that when people start voicing opinions about her fighting style.

-----

57: How do they feel about drugs?

She doesn’t give a single shit. Use them if you want, don’t if you don’t, and if you do, don’t hurt yourself. Post-Teldrassil she always carries around a vial of mountain silversage oil — which is basically just irl CBD oil — for when her anxiety/episodes become too much to deal with. ((I use this blog for pretty much all of my herb lore, or at least for inspiration.)) She used to smoke it too but the oil’s easier to deal with on the road because she doesn't need to carry around a pipe or anything. But even before Teldrassil she’d use whatever sounded fun just to wind down. Her self-control and sense of self-preservation are a little fucked up so she’s definitely had more than a few bad trips as a result of mixing things or taking too much of something, but it’s fine. After a good eighteen hour nap she’d be back to normal. But nowadays she can’t afford the more exciting stuff so really all she’s got is silversage for anxiety and, like, whatever the two pandaren are smoking in that little book sitting on the balcony behind The Lazy Turnip in Halfhill (which is also probably just Fantasy Weed but different). ((Also log on and go read that book, it's probably my favorite in the game))

#ask box #cathala #just in case: not an april fools' post #drug mention

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astoriaroleplay · 2 years

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MEET AHN CHAN-MI

AGE: 51 years old (479)

BIRTHDAY: July 9, 1543

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Pangender — she/her

OCCUPATION: CEO and President of Grace Memorial

PLACE OF BIRTH: Gyeongseong (Seoul), Joseon (South Korea)

NEIGHBORHOOD: CBD

HAS LIVED IN ASTORIA FOR: 125 years

CHARACTER INTERVIEW

What makes Astoria still appealing to you? Is it related to personal or work relationships?

Chan-Mi smiled kindly, looking around the room as if appreciating the fine furniture that it so clearly lacked. She had just introduced herself to the interviewer and received some tea, the local brand she liked so much. If not for the sustenance than for the taste, or just to have something in her hands while she spoke. “Both, as a Vampire I simply don’t see how any other place on earth could be more comfortable to me than Nova Pangaea is,” she said with a wink. “And I’ve been here for long, so long, really. Not that long when I put it in perspective.” Chan-Mi sighed for a moment, the past rolling by her, the faces of those she’s lost, the ones she’s seen grow up, the friends, family. So many photographs hidden away so she can look at them once in a while, just when she needs to be sad. “I have many relationships from work as well, or through work, really. Vampires I’ve sponsored, people who I’ve tried to help through the hospital. Healthcare is free, so I’ve never had to chime in financially, but really, sometimes all it takes is a moment of humanity, it can be fleeting, or it can end up being something that blooms. I have my kids here, the ones I raised because they had nowhere else to go, or the ones who just needed a home before they could go back to theirs,” she explained. “On the whole, I can’t imagine starting over.

What’s something about your personality that you’re proud of? And what would you like to change?

“My personality?” Chan-Mi chuckled. She thought for a moment, what personality trait would she give herself, if she had too. “Now I wish I could’ve prepared myself for this question. I’ve been in those groups sometimes, the ones for Vampire support, the old, the new, everyone in between. We had a type of exercise, after how long we’d known each other, we had to write down a positive personality trait for all the members of the group, and then at the end of the day, we got all the little papers and we had to say how we felt about getting each one of them. The one that stood out the most to me that day was ‘understands what people need after a single look’. I don’t know if there is a single descriptive word for that one, and I don’t know if I completely believe it myself, but it’s the one thing I worry about the most, that I’ll say something people will not want to hear at the wrong moment, or will be too busy with my own needs to think of others. The fact that anyone would say this about me, well, it must be true, and in those moments, that’s what I’m proud of.” “Oh, everything else, obviously,” she said with a laugh, taking another sip from the tea and watching the interviewer laugh as well. “I guess, I would like to be less of a scatterbrain. I’m constantly making lists because else I’ll forgot half of it.”

Please elaborate on any violent circumstances you may have been involved with in the past.

“Ah,” Chan-Mi nodded, she couldn’t recall being asked this in a long long time. Though perhaps she had. “Hmm, It’s long past, long past,” she said, making a waving notion with her hand, her face turned grim. “Before this place, when I had to find a way to survive, no good to dwell on it, they say. But how can I not. The lives I took, the people who never had a full one because of me, it haunts me still to this day. I know I can never safe enough lives to make it feel like I’ve reached break even, but I will try my best regardless.”

Your thoughts about supernatural beings.

“Absolutely fantastic additions to human evolution,” Chan-Mi said, winking. “They make life a whole lot more fun, or well, becoming one has made my life a whole lot longer.” Which she had bad and good thoughts about. But she shared only the good.

FACECLAIM: Sandra Oh PLAYED BY: Niek

#sandra oh fc #all #non binary #vampire #cbd

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holistichygienic · 6 hours

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haffpint · 2 years

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Delicious in Dungeon (2017) vol.11 Cover by Ryoko Kui

Wednesday CBD Wish List for 2022-August-17 at #comixaddix

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laneconnor50 · 1 month

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peregrin-nook · 3 months

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hey!

remember when i said i was doing a Silly Drinks Journal for my new resolution? well, here's part 1 of 12!

Somehow, I scoured every store in town to find over fifty varied drinks to review. Specifically 52, with an average score of 6.4 and a median score of 7, y'nerds. Note that

I'm in the UK

only 4 of the drinks which were alcoholic, because while I am now a flavourslut, getting drunk is Not Worth The Cost imo

these were all bought by just walking around every store I could get to in town!

Here's the drinks plotted by date and score:

Click below for the drinks. (Spoilers: I'm a little unfair on kvass.)

The worst drink, with a score of 1/10, was carbonated kvass. Look… I'm really sorry to Latvia. I really wanted to like it. On paper, rye juice is awesome. In practice, three sips was all I could tolerate before I physically couldn't drink more. I'm so sorry I can't appreciate you kvass :<

Thankfully on the next day I got one of the top-scoring drinks: botanical lemonade! It was crisp, lemony and tart. Also scoring 9/10 were:

'Tropical Orange' energy drink (Hough the taste of peach is lovely)

Local fruit farm apple & mango juice! It was a little thick, but a gorgeous combo. Literally just pressed fruit in a bottle! Local sure is best.

Vanilla milk. I mean. It's vanilla milk. Duh

I bought strawberry milk too, but sadly (2/10) had to get rid of it because it was sickly. Speaking of… I bought a 4-pack of CBD drinks. One, raspberry and guava, managed to peak to 6/10, but the rest were brought down by this horrid metallic tang, with glowing reviews like "Ugh. What? 3/10" and "I feel like I'm drinking the aluminium from the can. 2/10". Not very relaxing at all, itseems.

Some 8/10 drinks included:

two energy drinks – Cherry and Mango Loco. I really wish these were in energy-less form, they are too dang tasty.

Cream soda! It tastes just like ice cream (and goes well with it too.)

A drink flavoured like the classic Fruit Salad sweets… raspberry and pineapple is a nice contrast!

A gorgeous Łowidz Truskawka (strawberry syrup). A little sweet because, but a pretty classic taste in a very lovely thin bottle!

Rounding off the list with curious (but sadly mid) drinks:

Tomato juice! A solid 4/10. I wrote that it "tastes like I'm in the wrong context" (i.e. cooking passata).

Nestle and rosehip kombucha: my partner described it as tasting like a "petting zoo". Curious, but very… earthy. Surprisingly still a 4/10 (sorry kvass)

Lychee-flavoured drink with Nata de Coco: I really, really, really love lychee, but for some reason it didn't really vibe 100%. The tiny gel cubes of coconut milk gives it a bubble tea-like quality, which stopped me drinking too fast and helped me savour the flavour. And, eh, maybe I was harsh but I think bubble tea and lychee are like ice cream and chocolate to me: beautiful flavours that sadly don't really go well together. 7/10

Pomegranate juice! "It's like cranberry but it tastes of purple. Not bad!" I have no idea what I meant by this, but I stand by it nevertheless. 7/10

Ginger shots and (nonalcoholic) ginger beer! Keh… it's like fire in my throat… Both got 4/10.

I'm pretty sure I've bought every interesting-looking drink I could in town! Thankfully of course there is a wide variety of sites online, and when I pass by cities I can just Buy A Shit Ton of Drinks. Especially from the asian supermarkets! There are none in this town, which is a huge shame.

As it turns out, variety is the spice of life, and while some of these drinks were horrendous, most of them were really rather gorgeous, and it was lovely to get to try them all out. Also I'm really sorry to kvass again. I wish I could drink you, kvass. Will you forgive me?

See you in February!

#mia's silly drinks journal #i completely failed in my other plan this month (come up with a career/phd plan after my postgrad) but heck yeah this IS an achievement #and i totally enjoyed it. so many flavours. such variety! so much tooth decay #hopefully as the year comes along i can brew myself up some tarkhun from my tarragon and see how that tastes >:D

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obrienrahbek11 · 6 months

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