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#chelsea complains
ohwellokcomputer · 4 months
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the fact that merely speaking out against antisemitism is enough to get you mass-blocked by popular tumblr blogs for “zionism” really goes to show how much goyim (mainly white goyim) hate Jews. Y’all really think that any Jew standing up for themselves or our people against antisemitism is a heinous crime. yes this is about That blog that has been blocking every Jew they come across for months. @ That Blog I hope someday you will educate yourself instead of spreading blood libel and hatred and I hope you find a way to break free from the bigotry and in your heart instead of blocking random teenage Jews on tumblr because you’re mad that we aren’t personally calling up benjamin netanyahu to yell at him
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thiagodasilva · 7 months
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anyone else feel like the vibes are sooooo off for this season’s champions league
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forzapherb · 7 months
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wdym chelsea is beating city rn?????
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chelseasdagger · 2 years
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waiting for jon to get head in american gigolo
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kylewalker-peters · 2 years
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i think more teams i hate should have transfers play out as embarrassingly as the lukaku to Chelsea transfer did just to make me laugh, have a little chuckle, a little tee hee if you will
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chelscait · 4 months
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FINGERS CROSSED THE GAME BEING ON FRIDAY MEANS THERE WONT BE AS MANY ARSENAL FANS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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killa-trav · 5 months
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well done bbc for choosing the lower league clubs to show on tv for the fa cup, should've done it in the fourth round but oh well
itv however? ur obsession w top flight clubs is quite weird hope u lot liquidate!
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foone · 11 months
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So an important thing about all those times some conservative paper is writing about how "SOME MOVIE/SHOW IS ANTI-CHRISTIAN LGBT PROPAGANDA!" and then it turns out the thing has, like, one scene where it's implied one character is trans or a high school guy mentions his offscreen boyfriend... This isn't an overreaction, exactly, though it often gets called that.
Because it's never as "bad" as you'd expect from all that. The new peanuts film doesn't star "Chelsea Brown", a transfemme lesbian who uses neopronouns and is in a polycule with three (possibly weed-smoking) girlfriends. As amusing as that'd be... It's always just one lesbian who had a chaste kiss with her wife at a birthday party.
Instead the correct takeaway is that they are telling on themselves exactly how much LGBT content they think is too much:
Any.
The amount of LGBT representation they think is correct is none. It doesn't matter how respectable it is, if they're married, if it's just the most sexless thing you've ever seen, if it's just hinted at and not stated outright or shown... It's too much.
And that's important because it's not exactly what they are saying. They are saying "this has gone too far, this is too much", which might cause people in the middle to agree with them. Someone might go "maybe there is a bunch of naked gay men in the new episode of The Candy Bunch Kids, that doesn't seem appropriate for my 4 year old".
But that's never the case (with the possible exception of the original unpatched SimCopter). It's how they're arguing, yes, but they're arguing it based on the most basic of representation.
And that's an important thing to remember when it comes to things like the "kink at pride" debate. Even if they're saying "this has gone too far, this is too much", there's no amount that you can restrict yourself to that'll make them happy.
You can't win this game; They're lying about the rules. So be yourself proudly and loudly. They'll complain just as much, don't listen to them.
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gunnerfc · 2 months
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Protective | Leah Williamson [fluff blurb]
Summary: You get tackled during a game and Leah comes to your defense because she knows you’re too nice to complain about the tackle
AN: protective bf leah save me… save me protective bf leah 🧎
You spent most of the game on the ground since each time you had the ball, a Chelsea player was there to knock you off your feet. Leah grimaced from the bench each time she watched you hit the ground, rolling her eyes when the defender received no warning from the ref. She hated that you took each tackle with a smile on your face, she wanted you to fight back but she knew that wasn't the person you were.
Leah was thankful when Jonas signaled for her to warm up, with her on the pitch there would be someone to plead to the ref for a yellow for the Chelsea players. As the blonde was warming up, you suffered a hard tackle that sent you to the ground. Leah’s jaw clenched as she watched you curl up in pain, the ref yet to hand out a yellow card to the visiting team. 
Jonas called the defender over to the official, taking the time to sub her on. You sat up gingerly where you were pulled down, a small shot of pain in your ankle as you were helped to your feet by Katie. You limped slightly off the pitch, shooting Jonas and your girlfriend a thumbs up that you were okay. Leah was subbed on as you waited on the sideline for the refs to allow you back on the pitch.
You knew with Leah on now, the tackles you were dealt would not go without a complaint. You didn’t see the point in trying to convince the ref of anything, if they wanted to call a foul they would and you didn’t want to risk getting a card yourself for talking back. There were only ten minutes left to play and you could only hope that the Chelsea players had reached the max quota of tackles on you. 
Your hopes were wrong as you were brought down right outside the box in the eighty-eighth minute and there was no whistle. You groan as another shot of pain hits your ankle and you refuse to get up right away. Chelsea played the ball out quickly, hoping to create one more chance before the game ended. 
You could hear loud yells from the home crowd and Jonas as you continued to lay on the ground. You heard the ref’s whistle after a moment, her finally realizing you weren’t getting up anytime soon and needed the medical staff. You didn’t need to look to see how Leah and Katie immediately crowded around the ref, jumping into protective girlfriend and best friend mode. 
There was no need for you to continue in the last minutes as you watched one of the staff members signal for a sub. You could hear your girlfriend’s familiar accent as she all but yelled at the ref. You might have hated to be confrontational but you found your girlfriend defending you so passionately very attractive. You were helped off the pitch but your eyes met Leah’s before you were off and you sent her a small nod to show you were okay. 
You didn’t bother heading back to the locker room, opting to sit on the bench with your teammates as the medical staff wrapped your ankle in ice. There were five minutes of stoppage time added and you kept your eyes locked on Leah, hoping she wouldn’t do anything crazy. You smiled to yourself as you watched the blonde tackle the player who tackled you last, laughing at her expression when it was she who got the yellow card. 
You sighed when the ref blew her whistle to end the game, your team coming away with the victory. You limped back onto the pitch, shaking hands with anyone you passed on your way to your girlfriend. You had a bright smile on your face when you reached her, quickly throwing your arms around her neck to pull her into a tight hug. 
You buried your face into her jersey as her hands wrapped around your waist tightly. You pulled back slightly to rest your forehead on hers, your smile never leaving your face. “Are you alright, love,” the blonde whispered softly, concern lacing her words.
“I’m fine, just a bit sore,” you smiled your normal bright smile. Leah couldn’t help but be infected by your upbeat mood. 
“We’ve got to work on your arguing, you have no problem when it’s me!” Leah joked as she guided you to the team circle.
You laughed at her words, both of you knowing that it wouldn’t be anytime soon. But why would you attempt to argue with the refs when you had your protective girlfriend to come to your defense anytime you needed her to? You loved how Leah defended you and wouldn’t want to change that.
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pelova4president · 19 days
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To your rescue
Lauren Hemp x Charles!Reader
summary~ You get into an argument with your girlfriend. You’re stubborn, and Lauren is too, but luckily another Charles is there to help.
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Being Niamh Charles’ little sister you were meant to be a footballer too. You grew up playing all sorts of sports with your older sister. Your household was very competitive, not just sports, card games too and that’s what got you to where you are now.
Niamh always had your back. She joked and complained a bit about you whenever you were with her. But you knew she spoke highly of you to others. Your bond had grown even stronger through your shared love for football.
Niamh ended up playing for Chelsea where as you ended up at another blue club, Manchester City. You got to play with your sister’s bestfriend Lauren.
Lauren is a very interesting person. And that might’ve been what got you to love her so much. Nobody really knew what was going on in that head of hers, if there was even anything going on at all.
You honestly don’t remember when they started to be friends but Lauren was always near. Niamh and Lauren were always together, it was like they could know what the other was thinking without even saying anything.
Lauren was already part of the family by the time you started dating. No matter how many hints you gave her, she didn’t seem to notice them, Lauren was absolutely oblivious to them.
You’d absolutely had it by the time you admitted your feelings out loud. You had taken her out to a coffee shop after training, it wasn’t commen for you to get some alone time with her.
You sat her down after ordering and got straight to the point. “Lauren i really like you and i’d love to go on a real date sometime.” you told her.
Lauren was a bit shocked at your confession. “Uuh okay, yeah same.” she answered.
You had to laugh a little at that. She didn’t expect it but it didn’t necessarily surprise her either. But as fast as your question was answered she went to another subject.
Lauren didn’t have to think much about accepting your offer. She had talked about you a few times too many to your sister. Niamh caught on and asked Lauren about it. She may not have realised she was in love with you but when Niamh asked her it all clicked. She has loved you for longer than she knew.
Niamh was okay with it and there was nothing stopping her but she just didn’t have the balls to ask you out and she didn’t know if you liked her anyway.
But god was she happy you asked her, otherwise this would never have gotten any further than longing stares.
If you hadn’t asked her you wouldn’t be in a longterm relationship, footballing together, living with each other and loving each other so openly and passionately.
And if you’d ask what Niamh thought about your relationship she always said ‘Lauren was always like family now she’s just officially family’.
lauren_hemp
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liked by leahwilliamsonn and 32.371 others
matching 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩
comments
niamhcharles17 is that my watch?
↳ y/ncharles no it’s not, mine just looks like yours
↳ niamhcharles17 so it is mine
↳ y/ncharles nooooo just looks the saammee
sandy_maciver pookies
maryfowlerrr 💗💗💗
kerstin_casparij winning best matching couple award 🥇
↳ lauren_hemp thank you thank you 🤭
hempo11 ugghh i love them sm
mancitehh2020 they’re the cutest fr
You and Lauren never really have arguments, if there were any they were tiny. Those arguments were about what show to watch or what chocolate to buy and you’d just end up buying two different chocolate bars. There was always an easy solution.
But now it was about something important. You needed a new couch in your shared home and Lauren thought a mustard coloured one would look good. In your eyes this was fugly, yeah you said fugly and Lauren was beyond offended.
“Lau, baby i just don’t think a yellow couch would look good in our home. It just doesn’t match anything babe.” you pleaded with her.
“Yeah it does! Look, we have mustard in our fridge and yellow flowers!” she tried to convince you.
“Come on, that doesn’t even count!” you told her annoyed.
“I’ve let you pick out almost anything in the house, i just want the yellow couch.” Lauren said irritated.
“That’s not even true! We’ve done half half plus the couch is like a big deal, we can’t just buy one that doesn’t match anything Lauren.” you started to get a bit angry at Lauren. Why couldn’t she get that the couch would look so ugly with the rest of your furniture.
“Whatever.” Lauren said coldly and walked out of the front door.
You knew she went to your sister, she always goes to your sister. But right now it seemed like the right move, Lauren was never so upset about anything and it bothered you that you were the reason.
It was 10pm and Lauren still wasn’t home. The argument was really getting to you. You had texted Lauren about ten times but she didn’t answer any. Was she really that mad at you?
You just needed to know Lauren was okay and safe so you texted your sister.
you
is Lauren with you? You don’t have to tell me anything, just wanna know if she’s safe
charles #2
yeah, she’s safe
You texted ‘i love you’ to your girlfriend. That was really all you needed before you went to bed.
You woke up at 2am by your bedroom door opening. You turned your bedside lamp on and rubbed your eyes to your girlfriend standing in the door opening. Lauren held a bouquet of flowers in her hands and a little sad smile displayed on her face.
Looking at the ground Lauren broke the silence. “I have flowers for you.. because i’m sorry. I don’t want to fight. You can have your couch if you want.” your girlfriend apologised.
There grew a little smile on your face too. “Thank you Lau, i’m sorry too. Come cuddle with me please.” you asked her with your best puppy eyes.
The English forward gave in and crawled into bed with you. You clicked the light off and Lauren spooned you from behind, her face in your neck and your limbs tangled into each other.
You let out a happy sigh and closed your eyes.
“Do you really not want the yellow couch though?” Lauren asked tiredly.
“No baby, we can do something colourful just not yellow, okay?” you tried to negotiate with your girlfriend.
“That’s okay. I love you.”
“I love you too Hemps”
lauren_hemp, y/ncharles
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liked by keirawalsh and 71.725 others
happy wife happy life
comments
niamhcharles17 happy to be your relationship therapist 😘
↳ y/ncharles knew i chose the right sister, she even came home with a bouquet of my favourite flowers
↳ niamhcharles17 you didn’t exactly choose me but yeah what can i say, best sister of the year award incoming??
↳ lauren_hemp stop bragging
leahwilliamsonn who’s your interieur designerrrr
↳ y/ncharles all me and a tiny bit hempo
↳ leahwilliamsonn when can i hire you
esme.morgan love birds 🦢
citysfaves11 they’re soooo cutee
l1ionnesses2022 best football couple
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shortkingvi · 2 years
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wee bit of chelsea footy tonight 👌⚽️
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woso-dreamzzz · 3 months
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Scottish Sam
Hardersson x Child!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: Magda wants you to wear her jersey
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It's not very often that Magda gets to see you in her jerseys.
You wore Pernille's Wolfsburg and Denmark one easily. You'd had, on special occasions like the World Cup, worn Magda's Sweden jersey. You'd never willingly worn her Chelsea one.
You'd complained about everything when she used to force you into it. The size. The feel. But most of all, the colour.
Your aversion to Chelsea was something she had grown to live with but, now that you were at Bayern, Magda hoped you would wear her jerseys more often.
There was a strong sense of pride that she could never properly explain when she saw you in one of her shirts like she could imagine the woman you'd become in your own professional jerseys. There was something about it that just made her turn to mush which was why she was glad the Bayern jersey had red.
Red was your favourite colour. She blamed it for the reason that you were drawn to Arsenal in the first place but now she was sure that it was going to work in her favour.
Of course, that all came crashing down when she walked into the locker room to find you wearing a Bayern jersey that wasn't hers.
It wasn't Pernille's either - the only other person she could tolerate you wearing.
Instead, you were wearing Sam's.
You were standing in the woman's cubby too, arms crossed over your chest as you oversaw the other girls milling about waiting to go onto the pitch.
You look a bit scary like that but only a little because you're the same little girl who still slept with your stuffed toys and complained about eating fruit.
Sam's grinning as she looks around, showing anyone who would listen what you were wearing.
"Did you have to let her wear that?" Magda groans," I had a plan, Pernille!"
"It wouldn't have worked," Pernille laughs," She has opinions now. You can't trick her as easy as before."
"We'll see."
As Sam helps you get down, Magda pulls her jersey out of her bag and clears her throat.
You look over at her, wandering closer because Momma has your keeper gloves and Maria and Anna said that you can train with them and Cecilía today.
"What's that?" You ask.
"A Bayern jersey."
It's your size and you look at it suspiciously. You pull at the one you're already wearing. "Why?"
"Well, I thought you'd like to wear it."
"I'm wearing one now."
"But this one is special."
That catches your attention and you shuffle closer. "Why's it special?"
"Because," Morsa says with a flourish," It's mine."
Your interest waves and you move back to Momma. "Oh. That's boring."
Momma laughs and Morsa hisses at her," Pernille! It's not funny!" She turns back to you again. "It's not boring. We can match!"
You huff and stare at Momma. "Do I have to?"
She laughs and cups your cheeks. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to." She helps you slip on your keeper gloves and turns you around so she can fix your hair.
You're facing Morsa now, who is looking between you and the little you-sized shirt in her hand. You stare unblinking at her as Momma runs a brush through your hair and begins to braid it back.
Morsa sighs before tucking it back into her bag and waving a teasing finger in your face. "I'll get you in that soon, Princesse. Just you wait."
You stick your tongue out at here. "Nu-uh!"
Morsa sticks her tongue out too and Momma finishes your hair.
You go towards where the keepers are waiting before you freeze and turn back to Morsa, tugging on her shirt.
"Morsa," You say," You have to take a picture."
"How come?"
"I want to show Australian Sam my new shirt."
Magda bursts out laughing, her ego suddenly soothed by your desire.
You'd never once in your life worn Sam's jersey, Chelsea's Sam of course. You'd always refused, running away whenever she tried to ask you and screeching whenever she came near you with it.
It was always funny to watch and Sam had to try and convince you from a distance.
You never accepted though and Magda's ego suddenly feels fine again now she knows you want to show Sam that you're happily wearing Scottish Sam's jersey.
"Alright," Magda laughs, positioning you so you're looking over your shoulder with a smile as Sam's jersey in seen clearly. She snaps the picture.
"You have to send it to Australian Sam," You say," Okay?"
"Got it, Princesse. Go on off to training."
You grin and nod, running off towards the Bayern keepers, who lead you outside.
"You're not actually going to send it to her, are you?" Pernille asks and Magda's answering smile is all the explanation she needs. "Magda!"
"What?" Magda asks innocently," I'm just respecting Princesse's wishes. There's nothing wrong with that."
Pernille rolls her eyes but doesn't argue anymore and Magda takes this as her chance.
SAM 😈 wtf???? you can't let her do that Magda!!! where's the loyalty???? get that girl into my Chelsea jersey this instant!!!
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daniswoso · 4 months
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“Do I have something to worry about?”
Katie McCabe x Reader
Summary: You exchange shirts with a National teammate and good friend, Katie gets jealous.
Warnings: Language, British reader, Chelsea reader, Jealously, Chelsea (they deserve a warning of their own x)
******
You and Katie McCabe had been going out for a little over 6 months and you had to say everything in your life has been better since. You were able to enjoy life more, you were able to come home to a gorgeous woman (on the off nights she used her spare key to surprise you after you had been to practice.)
That was the only flaw in your relationship, the fact you played for Chelsea and the fact she played for Arsenal. It sometimes put a strain on your relationship, as you both mostly had practice at completely different times, but you worked through it.
One night though, you came home to an irritated looking Katie sitting on your couch, clad in her Arsenal training gear still. You had just gotten back from a match against Manchester City.
"Hey, love. You okay?" You asked softly, setting your things down and sitting next to the slightly older Irish woman.
"Do I have something to worry about?" She asked suddenly, facing you. Her brighter eyes filled with jealously but also an underlying worry.
"Love, what?" You asked her, confused. She gestured to your shirt, it was Lauren Hemp's. Oh, you thought, is she jealous of Hempo? You wondered, and the thought nearly made you giggle.
"So? She's my national teammate, Katie." She scoffed.
"It's not just fucking that!" She snapped, taking you by surprise, "It's the way she looked at you! The way she had her eyes all over your body! The way that she stared at your abs when you took your shirt off to give to her! The way she couldn't keep her hands of you!" She rants, you smirk, standing and slipping your jacket off you, then pulling the shirt over your head.
"What are you doing, Y/N?" She asked, exasperated and confused, but not exactly complaining at the view she was now being given.
You grab an Arsenal shirt out your bag, one with McCabe on the back. It was the shirt she scored a hattrick in. You always kept it with you as a goodluck charm.
"Oh, so that's where that went then." She said, smirking slightly.
"Katie, you have nothing to worry about. I only have eyes for you, Hempo's just a friend." Katie's eyes softened as she sighed and brought you into a hug.
"Good. Now never wear a City shirt around me ever again I might have a stroke."
You chuckled, feeling her grin against your neck where she had nuzzled her head into.
"I love you, you crazy Irish woman."
"I love you too, Brit."
You rolled your eyes, "I hate you."
"No you don't." She mumbles and you chuckle.
"No, I don't." You agree.
*****
A/N: sorry it’s so short, been majorly burnt out recently, and my health is dodgy at the moment so I’ve been in and out of the ER, hence the lack of actual fics. thanks for the understanding.
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chelseasdagger · 2 years
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russo-woso · 2 months
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Dread || Niamh Charles
Red vs Blue.
Rival vs rival.
A London derby.
Arsenal vs Chelsea.
There were loads of nicknames for the match because ultimately, it was one of the most exciting games of the season.
The fans were excited for it, the players were excited for it, but you and a certain Chelsea defender wasn’t.
You dreaded the match, and so did Niamh, if not more.
Niamh was a defender, you were a striker. The thought of Niamh hurting you killed her.
You and Niamh had gone up against each other before, many times, but this time was different.
This was the continental cup final.
Arsenal were determined to keep their hands on the trophy, but Chelsea were just as determined to take it off of them.
When you awoke early on the morning of Easter Sunday, thanks to Niamh pressing soft kisses to your shoulder blade, you couldn’t help but cuddle into her, the dreaded feeling of playing against her sinking into your mind.
After a while of a comfortable silence taking over the room, you pulled away from Niamh, a serious look on your face.
“Promise me that no matter what the score is, we’ll be lying like this tonight.” You said to Niamh whilst a soft smile appeared on her face.
“I promise, love. Remember, Football will always come second when it comes to you.” Niamh told you and you nodded, agreeing with her words.
“You’ll always come first too.” You stated, pressing your lips on hers.
The rest of the morning you had free sped by and before you knew it, you and Niamh’s were going your separate ways.
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“Nervous about playing against Niamh?” Beth asked you, noticing that your leg was bouncing and your hands were fidgeting with whatever you could touch.
“Yeah. A bit.” You responded, sending a weak smile to her.
“Speak of the devil, she’s just messaged me to see how you are. Isn’t that sweet? I remember when you first met. It was love at first sight. And god was my ears chewed off by you going on and on about how you loved Niamh.” Alessia, who was sat next to you, teased you before telling the whole coach the story of how you and Niamh met.
It was true, Alessia had been there when you and Niamh met for the first time.
In fact, she had been the one to introduce you to one another.
You had joined the youth age groups later than everyone else but Alessia had taken you under wing and had introduced you to all her friends, including Niamh.
From then on, Alessia became your best friend, along with Tooney, the three of you becoming an iconic trio.
And you and Niamh grew closer too. Becoming friends and then realising the growing crush on her, before finally, after months of flirting with one another, Niamh asked you on a date.
That was nearly eight years ago and you’re still just in love with Niamh as if you were when you were sixteen.
“Less, stop it.” You told her, nudging her shoulder as she continued to tell embarrassing stories of you when you were teenagers.
“Yeah but I’m right in the middle of when you slipped on the ball when we were in Jordan.” Alessia said as the girls laughed.
“Well at least I didn’t have our coach performing the Heimlich manoeuvre on me because I was chocking on spaghetti. Some Italian you are.” You fired back, a grin taking over your face as Alessia’s face dropped.
“You promised to not tell anyone about that.” Alessia complained, rolling her eyes as Kyra fell to the coach floor laughing. “And I’m half Italian by the way.”
Your mind went foggy as tiredness took over it.
You rested your head on Alessia’s shoulder who immediately cuddled up to you and fell asleep.
It was a normal occurrence to fall asleep on the way to away matches, especially to fall asleep on Alessia.
Alessia and you always sat next to each other on the coaches and with your capability to fall asleep anywhere, it was normally her who had to deal with your snoring.
After two hours of sleeping, you were awoken by Kyra who was excited to play her first final for Arsenal.
Before long, you were walking out of the tunnel to complete a pitch inspection.
Noticing Niamh on the other side of the pitch, you split up from Kyra and Alessia and approaches Niamh.
A smile grew on Niamh’s face as she spotted you, opening her arms as she enveloped you in a hug.
You didn’t say anything, it was just a hug made of pure love for one another.
You broke away from the hug, reaching out to rest a hand on her cheek before pressing a light kiss on her lips.
“I’ll see you later, okay?” Niamh said, your face centimetres away from hers.
“You will. I love you, Niamhy.”
“I love you too, pretty girl.”
And with that, you went your separate ways, you going back to Alessia and Kyra, and Niamh going back to Zecira.
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After an eventful game that went into extra time, the full time whistle blew.
It had been one hell of a match to say the least.
With the score being 0-0 through most of the game, to Frida collapsing on the pitch, to you scoring the winning goal just four minutes before full time.
The whole entire arsenal team gathered round celebrating.
It was as if you were dual natured in that moment.
One half of you wanted to celebrate with all your teammates, but the other half wanted to go and wrap Niamh in a hug.
You opted for both. Spending time with your teammates for a few minutes before going off to find Niamh.
“Niamhy, I’m so sorry.” You began but Niamh turned around with a light smile on her face.
“Don’t say sorry, love. I’m so proud of you.” Niamh opened her arms once again as you found your spot in between them. “You go celebrate. I’ll see you at home later, okay? We can have all the cuddles in the world then. I promise.”
Niamh stuck to her promise.
As you arrived back in London that night, most of the team decided to go out celebrating but you decided to get back home, desperately wanting to see Niamh.
After lots of teasing about you and Niamh, you eventually got away from them all and drive home.
Niamh was already waiting for you in bed, burying your head in her chest as you laid down next to her.
All of the dread had gone.
You were now in your happy place. Your safe space. You were with your Niamh.
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cameronspecial · 1 month
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we all kmow drew loves to read and staying in, let’s make Dad!Drew staying in for the weekend and read to his 2 yo daughter and everything (hanging out, taking cute pics, doing her hair, play house) while reader going out with her friends and she felt a little guilty but he assured her that he loves spending time with their baby, so she should stop worrying.
Me And My Lady
Pairing: Dad!Drew Starkey x Reader
Warnings: Suggestion of Sex At The End
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 1.7K
Masterlist
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“You be Ken, Daddy, and I be Chelsea,” Elizabeth orders, handing her father the doll. Most kids are obsessed with the titular character of Barbibe; however, Drew’s daughter loves her Chelsea doll with a passion. He takes it without hesitation, “'Cause I'm just Ken, anywhere else I'd be a ten. Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blonde fragility?” The singing goes over his daughter’s head and she begins the dialogue of the game. He isn’t too sure what exactly is going on; only catching every other word. He does hear cheating and divorce though, so he makes a mental note to ask Y/N if she has been watching Real Housewives with their daughter again. 
Around half an hour later, the young girl complains about being hungry, so the two of them get to cook dinner. He watches as the small hand grips the spatula and waves it back and forward, spreading tomato sauce over the lasagna slices. She accidentally yanks the utensil upward, which causes a splash of red to land on her nose. Drew laughs and Elizabeth goes crossed eyes to try to see what he is laughing at. This makes him laugh even harder and she joins in on the cheery mood. He takes the phone out, letting her put some sauce on his nose and angling the camera at both of them. They make a funny face and he takes multiple pictures. After their small photo shoot, the two of them finish making the lasagna and eat up their reward for their effort. He checks the time to see that it is the little one’s bedtime soon. “It’s bath time,” he announces. Excitement crosses her face because she loves being in the water. He helps her out of the chair and chuckles when she rushes to the bathroom. “Come on, Daddy,” she beckons from the other room. He jogs after her to find her sorting through her toys already, trying to figure out which one she wants to play with. The one thing she hates about bathtime is the three toys limit. 
He steps over the toys and plugs the drain so the tub will fill when he turns the tap on. As the water begins to occupy the hollow porcelain, Drew turns to his daughter and opens the cabinet beside the bath. “Do you want bubbles and what bath bomb do you want?” he questions. She looks up from her toys and examines the choices, “Can I use one of Mommy’s?” The cabinet is filled with bubbles for both Y/N and Elizabeth, but the bath bombs are divided between the two of them. Elizabeth’s are colourful and shaped in different forms, such as cats, unicorns, or dogs, while Y/N’s are more focused on the scents so they are less colourful and just round. Knowing his wife wouldn’t mind sharing, he nods. “Bubbles, please, and that one,” she answers, pointing to the light pink bath bomb that smells of roses. Drew grabs both of the chosen items, “Those are fine choices, My Lady.” Elizabeth giggles at the funny accent he uses and accepts the round object he hands her, dropping it into the tub when he instructs her to. 
Once the bubbles are in and the water is at an appropriate height, he helps her undress and sets her into the tub. He hands her the duck, the mermaid, and the boat she chose to play with, accepting the mermaid she gave him. “And we can swim all night together,” she recounts. The duck slaps against the water under the grip of the daughter. The force produces a large splash that hits her father in the face. His face scrunches as the water makes contact and drips to his neck. “Hahaha,” she yells. Drew fakes an angry look, “Grrr. You think that’s funny, Little Lady?” He dips his hand in the water and flicks some at his daughter. Her giggles intensify and she tries to get away from the attack. The warmth soon leaves her, creating a shiver in her. Upon seeing this, the father grabs the ducky hood towel from the hook and takes her out of the tub. He wraps it around her and runs his hands up and down her arms to create some heat. The floor is soaked because of their playing, so he takes a second to dry it with the floor towel. 
With the floor clean, he carries her to her room and they get her changed into her pyjamas. He runs the towel over her hair to get out as much moisture as he can. He takes the brush she hands him and runs it through her hair to get rid of the knots created in the bath. “Do we want one braid or two?” he confirms. She hmms for a little, “Two Fwench braids, please.” He divides her hair into two and then separates one of the sections into three. He begins weaving the strands together like his wife taught him and sings with his daughter whilst she waits for him to finish. 
“There you go, My Lady. Why don’t you go choose a bedtime story?” he encourages, watching her run to her bookcase. She spends about a minute looking at her options before choosing a book he knows she is going to pick because it has been her choice for a few nights now. She patters back to him and he helps her onto her big girl bed. Her head rests against his shoulder. He pretends he doesn’t see her thumb in her mouth even though Y/N would kill him for not stopping it. He thumbs through the book to find where they stopped last night and clears his throat to start reading. “To be, or not to be, that is the question.” The English major side of him loves that his daughter likes to read Shakespeare. He is sure she doesn’t understand anything he reads, yet he knows she enjoys it because she is always so attentive and she’ll ask what certain words will mean. Drew looks past the inappropriate subject matter of Hamlet for the two-year-old because it feels like a bonding experience for him. It is one of the reasons why he isn’t angry at Y/N for watching Real Housewives with Elizabeth. 
Ten minutes later, he fills her head relax as it digs into his muscles. He closes the book and kisses her forehead. His hand raises the blanket to her chin, turning on the night light. “I love you, My Lady,” he whispers. 
———
Drew is reading through Othello because he thinks it is what he and Elizabeth should read after Hamlet. She’ll like the witches’ scene. He hears the front door open and close. He shuts the book, placing it on the side table as his wife walks through the bedroom door. “Hey, did she go down to sleep okay?” she mumbles. Her back is facing him whilst she takes off her jewellery and places them on her vanity. His head bobs and he gets behind her. He hands her a makeup wipe, resting his chin on her shoulder. He observes her nighttime routine through the mirror. His lips press against her skin, “Yep, everything went by smoothly. We are almost done with Act Three for Hamlet. I’m thinking about reading Othello with her next. How was the club?” She hesitates about answering. Y/N honestly had an amazing time tonight. It felt so great not having to worry about another human being for an evening. She loves Elizabeth, except being a mom can create a lot of pressure. Even though the night was a success, guilt overcomes her when she meets her husband’s eyes in the mirror. Drew hasn’t gone out at night with friends since he got back from work and she has been out three times. “It was fine,” she plays off, wiping her makeup off with the wipes he provided for her.
His brow arches at her tone, “Really, only fine? I saw Layton’s story. You looked like you were having a blast.” Her eyes fall to the vanity. “It must have been a trick of the light,” she shrugs. She goes for another wipe, except veiny hands stop her. He takes her hand in his and spins her so they face each other. Warm hands cup her cheek. “What’s wrong, My Queen? Why so glum?” he worries, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone. 
Her breath tickles his skin as she exhales, “Do you hate that I make you stay at home with Elizabeth when I go out?” His head shakes like an earthquake and he brings her in for a hug. He can feel the guilt oozing out of her. “No, of course not. I love Elizabeth. Why would I hate it?”
“I’m not saying that you hate her. I just wonder if you resent me for going out with the girls, which means you have sole parent duties for a night. You haven’t had a night out since she was born. I mean you go out, but never by yourself so that I have sole parent duties.” 
“You have sole duties when I work.”
“That’s different though. Just because you love your job doesn’t mean it is a personal outing for pleasure.”
“True.” 
She looks back at him with a pout, his last words intensifying her emotions. “Please don’t feel bad about this. I may not go out anymore, but I never used to go out that much before anyways, right?” he reminds her. She thinks about it, realizing that it is true. Whenever he went out, it was always with her by his side. She meets his gaze, “You are saying that to make me feel better.” His head moves from side to side. “No. I love having nights with me and My Lady. I mean they are perfect when it is me, My Lady, and My Queen, but if I can give you a much-needed break, then I am more than happy to help you with that. If anything, Elizabeth is my excuse to stay in.” A grin starts to grow on his face when he sees the tips of her lips flip upwards. “Well, I’m glad I made you the perfect excuse,” she jokes. His laugh joins her lightened mood, “You made me the best excuse. Maybe we should start working on another one. You know, to solidify our excuse.” His eyebrows waggle and she pulls him into a kiss with a smirk. Their giggles mix in the air as he locks their bedroom door and she flops onto their bed. 
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