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lycanth0t · 1 year

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Of Lambs and Cigars (Handmaids Tale Oneshot)

Nick watched as Lieutenant Stan rubbed his hands in anticipation - he doubted the cold blooded fuck was sensitive to the cold - before slapping his fist twice against the door. A terrified, high pitched scream emitted from the inside, and for some reason the tenor of it made Nick’s blood turn to ice.

Stan swung open the door, and it took an eternity for Nick’s eyes to adjust to the thick blackness of the truck until he regained focus, and saw her.

He would have known Hannah Bankole’s face anywhere.

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Set in Season 4 when June is tortured for information about the missing handmaids, it follows how Agnes was brought to the prison, and Nick’s role in protecting her

Since he wasn’t permitted to oversee June’s torture, Nick forced himself to watch through the multiple twelve inch screens of the control room. The air in the room was thick with cigar smoke; the scent of which trickled to the back of his throat to the very base of his chest.

Naturally, June wasn’t the only prisoner being tortured - just the only one that he cared about. Still his eyes flickered to the screen slightly to the left, where a man was having his face branded with an iron poker; screaming so loudly it was as though his face would split in two. In the screen above from him, a woman was in the grips of starvation; being fed just enough to stop her internal organs from shutting down, but not enough to stop her hair from completely falling out. She’d taken to gnawing at her forearm like a feral animal; blackened teeth splinting against alabaster skin. Nick’s hand twitched ever so slightly before he instantly regained composure.

Composure, afterall, was his only asset.

“It’s like liveleak” a male voice chuckled beside him.

Nick turned; one of the head guards - who he knew to be called Marcus - sat slumped in a desk chair, haphazardly throwing an apple from hand to hand.

“Excuse me?” Nick said quietly, and Marcus laughed; he was a tall, wiry guy with narrow features, and his dark hair was kept inches longer than protocol allowed.

“Come on man, from before? Don’t tell me you’d never browsed on it before. Used to be able to see cartel shootings, or people offing themselves. Nothing on this though, this is some high def shit”

The glint in his eye made Nick want to punch the man straight in the face, but before he could; the sound of a glass door sliding open redirected his attention and the scent of cigar smoke and sweat was now accompanied by a sickly sweet aftershave.

“Ah, Commander Blaine, just the man I was looking for” Lieutenant Stan’s silhouette was obscured by the red hue of the corridor, “I was hoping you would accompany me in unloading a delivery”

“Of course Lieutenant” Nick responded, suspicion curled in the pit of his stomach as he followed the older man through the windowless corridor. He knew that Stan wasn’t referring to a last minute import of linen and scotch.

“Is it another Martha to testify for the missing Handmaids, sir?” he asked, his words were punctuated by the echoing screams of prisoners.

Lieutenant Stan scoffed, “Have you really that little faith in me, son? Once you’ve met one Martha you’ve met them all, frankly bringing two was an indulgence. I’m confident this is a far more effective tool to relieve our dear June”

As the men descended the concrete steps into the loading bay Nick pondered, not for the first time, what a cold blooded psychopath like Lieutenant Stan did before The Fall. Judging by the 80’s style glasses and Cheshire cat grin, Nick pictured him as a pastor in a sleepy little town in Utah, preaching purity to ten year olds while his porn stash was buried beneath the pews. He wouldn’t be entirely surprised if he’d chosen the vocation of torture for his own sexual satisfaction. Instead of voicing these thoughts, however, Nick dutifully responded;

“Praise be, Lieutenant”

As the shutters drew upwards, it let in a stream of ice cold air that howled furiously around them, beams of sharp white light permeated Nick’s vision, so he could barely make out the military grade truck that roared down the slope.

Nick had lost count of how many trucks he had unloaded over the years; how many people he’d assisted out of the back and straight to their death, like cattle being slaughtered. On one occasion, a Handmaid had sliced open her wrists and gone into rigor mortis by the time he’d arrived. It was therefore with a dulled, morbid curiosity that he watched the truck park in front of them.

He watched as Lieutenant Stan rubbed his hands in anticipation - he doubted the cold blooded fuck was sensitive to the cold - before slapping his fist twice against the door. A terrified, high pitched scream emitted from the inside, and for some reason the tenor of it made Nick’s blood turn to ice.

Stan swung open the door, and it took an eternity for Nick’s eyes to adjust to the thick blackness of the truck until he regained focus, and saw her.

He would have known Hannah Bankole’s face anywhere.

He’d spent hours studying her picture, listening to June describe in painful detail the curl of her daughter’s eyelashes, the freckle just below her right eyebrow, the plumpness of her lips. Nick knew she’d liked oranges, the colour yellow, and that her first word had been “cat”. He also knew that if June saw her in the state she was in now, it would plunge her head first into insanity.

Her heart shaped face was streaked with tears, and wide brown eyes filled with such terror that Nick felt as though a punch had been landed to his stomach. She was dressed in just a soft pink night dress, meaning that she’d been snatched straight from bed by the Guards.

“Oh my dear Agnes! We are so glad you made it here safely” Lieutenant Stan said theatrically, “come, come my dear let's get you inside” he beckoned, reaching out his hand.

Tentatively, Agnes edged forward, one hand desperately clutching at a stuffed animal of a soft white lamb.

“Why isn’t an Aunt or Martha with her? She shouldn’t be here unaccompanied” Nick said, his voice harsh. He only realised his mistake when Hannah flinched away from him and closer to Stan.

“We tend to find that women get a little over emotional when it comes to handling the children, and I’m sure our dear Agnes is brave enough to be here, aren’t you Agnes?” he cooed.

“Yes sir” Agnes replied obediently, teeth chattering against the cold air. “We should get her inside, it’s freezing” Nick said decisively.

Without waiting for the other man to respond, he shed his jacket and stepped towards Agnes, who fortunately did not shy away from him as he draped the jacket over her narrow shoulders. Nick’s chest began to ache; she was too young ot be here, too small, too vulnerable.

“Of course! You’ll be perfectly safe here Agnes, now that your Bilhah isn’t out hunting for you”

At the mentioned of her Bilhah, Hannah flinched violently, and her head whipped around as though she expected a monster to materialise from thin air.

“Is my Bilhah here?” she asked in a terrified whisper. Bilhah was a term used by children who were old enough to remember life Pre-Gilead, and came from the all important bible verse that had founded so many policies of the republic. It referred to the woman who carried them in their earthly shell and gave them to their “true” mothers as ordained by God. God of course being a group of fifty or so aged white men in a conference room, deciding which children belonged with which family.

“I’m afraid so, but there’s no need for you to be worried my dear, she’s all chained up and has Guards watching her all the time, and you have Commander Blaine to protect you” Lieutenant Stan said with a conspiratorial wink, “Isn’t that right Commander?”

Nick looked over at Hannah, and saw June’s almond eyes staring back at him, in the face of a terrified child.

“Yes” he answered firmly, still holding her gaze, “I’m here to protect you Agnes”

“Excellent, let’s make our way in, shall we?” the Lieutenant announced, he offered out a hand for Hannah to take, but Nick pretended not to see and promptly hoisted her into his arms, ensuring to wrap his jacket tighter around her against the bracing cold.

“After you, Lieutenant” Nick said, as he followed the old man straight into hell. —--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Sir, we can’t question her until we have the necessary paperwork in order” Nick said. They had been walking for a solid five minutes through the maze of corridors and staircases, he’d told Hannah not to look, and she had promptly closed her eyes shut and buried her face against his shoulder, while he pretended not to notice the drops of tears that spilled onto his shirt.

“Am I in trouble?” Hannah queried suddenly, lifting her head abruptly. “No” Nick replied instantly.

“We’ll have to see about that, dear,” Stan replied in a sickly sweet voice. “Look at her Lieutenant, she can barely keep her eyes open” Nick argued, trying to ensure no venom bled into his tone.

He watched the Lieutenant consider this for a moment, taking in the child’s dark under eyes and pale skin. It took every ounce of self control Nick had not to pull away when the old man reached out his large hand and cup Hannah’s face. To her credit, she didn’t flinch.

Nick was going to be sick.

“I suppose you’re right” the old man said after an age, “we can begin in the morning, I’ll send a guard to - “

“That won’t be necessary” Nick said firmly, “I’ll see to her myself”. He would rather have his eyes plucked out than leave Hannah alone with any of the depraved men that worked in the building.

The lieutenant raised his eyebrows at this, but subsided. “Very well son, then this is the room for our treasured guest”

The room in question was more of a squalid cell; there was a fold out bed on the far right corner - devoid of a pillow or duvet - and a sink on the left wall, letting out tiny droplets of water that bounced against the metal basin. Above them, the fluorescent lights hummed with electricity.

Every fibre of Nick’s being shrieked in protest; it was wrong to have Hannah here, but he had no other choice. He didn’t even wish to set her on the ground; knowing that the place was infested with rats, and that human blood had been shed in the very same room.

The Lieutenant must have spotted the resistance in Nick’s eyes, or the way Hannah recoiled against the harsh light.

“Say Agnes, why don’t you recite a passage for this blessed night” Stan began, “how about, Peter 3:14?”

With barely a moment’s hesitation, Hannah dutifully resited the passage in a distant, almost robotic voice.

“But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear their threats and do not be frightened”

The seriousness of her tone disturbed Nick greatly, as it reminded him all too well of Eden.

“Praise be Agnes! You may wish to pray on your suffering tonight” Stans advised. He took a step towards them, and it took all of Nick’s self control to not shove the man away. Instead he focused his mind on Hannah’s trembling form. “I’m afraid I’ll have to take Mr Lamb into custody, until you’ve shown us what a good girl you can be”

Sick fuck.

June would tear that man apart piece by piece, if she saw him snatch the stuffed toy from her daughter - the only comfort she had in the world - before turning on his heel and marching out.

Hannah’s bottom lip began to tremble, and Nick watched in growing despair as she choked back the tears that were desperate to fall.

“You’re okay” he said quietly, “you’re going to be okay, here” he set her down on the metal bed and crouched in front of her. He wished more than anything that June was here, or Rita, or anyone with experience in comforting a distraught child because he was completely out of his depth. His mind flickered again to Luke Blankole, caring for a baby he knew wasn’t his, without the help of his wife.

“I’m scared,” Hannah uttered.

“What are you scared of?” Nick asked, knowing there could be a thousand answers. She could easily turn to him that she’s afraid of him; a strange Commander she’d never met who had taken her to a grimy little cell and asking her questions.

“I’m afraid that by Bilhah is going to escape and - and she’s going to hurt me” Hannah whispered.

Nick forced himself not to think of June, which was near impossible given the likeness she shared with her daughter. He had to remain composed.

“Do you remember her from before?” he asked genuinely. He saw her freeze, sas this was clearly a subject she had been taught never to speak of, “it’s okay, you can tell me” he encouraged.

“Yes sir, I remember a little” she answered eventually. “And did she ever hurt you then?”

She paused again, and he saw her genuinely consider his question, trying to distinguish her actual memories from what she had been told. After a moment, she shook her head, and ringlets of curls bounced around her face.

“Your Bilhah” the word stuck in Nick’s throat, “would never hurt you. Sometimes she gets confused, but that’s because she misses and loves you, and people sometimes do strange things when they love someone”

“But Aunt Sabine says she’s a godless woman and - and she wants to drag me to Hell with her” Hannah said in a horrified whisper.

To the children of Gilead, hell was a very real place. Nick had heard complaints from countless Commanders that their young ones were having nightmares about a burning inferno. They would never change the curriculum though, as fear was the most powerful method of control.

Nick paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. He didn’t stand a chance at undoing years indoctrination in one night, all he could hope to do is release her from the sheer terror with which she thought of June.

“Do you want to know what I think?” he asked, and Hannah nodded dutifully, “I think that only God gets to decide who goes to heaven and who goes to hell, and that frightens grown ups, because grown ups want to be the ones to make decisions and to know everything, so sometimes they pretend that they do”

He watched her attempt to process his words, the cogs turning in her exhausted mind, though she said nothing.

“I used to live in the same house as your Bilhah, did you know that?”

Hannah’s eyes snapped at him, “was she your Handmaid?” she asked innocently.

“No” Nick replied instantly, “I was just the driver of the house”

“Oh” Hannah said, mulling it over, “was she always upset? When I saw her in the woods she was crying?”

He remembered that day too, and how long June had wept after she’d left.

“Why don’t you get ready for bed, and I’ll tell you what I remember” he promised.

Hannah shuffled back onto the bed, and Nick adjusted his jacket as a make-shift duvet, before settling himself back down onto the damp concrete floor. He was fully aware of the girl’s eyes on him, soaking in every word he spoke like gospel. He breathed in deeply, trying to quieten his fears of saying the wrong thing. It was important that Hannah knew about her mother.

And so Nick spoke.

He didn’t lie, either, he didn’t tell her that her mother was a meek and pious woman, fulfilling her godly duty. He told her how good she was to her friends; that she looked out for those in need, that she was brave - and would take out wayward spiders even when the Commander was too scared to go near. He told her she sang a lot, when she thought no one could hear her, her favourite season is Spring.

The next time Nick glanced at Hannah, she was asleep, and looked as peaceful as he had ever seen her.

It was surprising even to him; the burning protectiveness that bloomed within hin when he looked at the child, and he made an oath to himself that for as long as his heart was still beating; no harm would come of Hannah Bankole.

He wasn’t naive enough to think he could do it entirely himself, and only one other name sprung to mind.

Commander Joseph Lawrence.

#handmaids tale #handmaids tale oneshot #ficlet #nick blaine #june osborne #commander waterford #serena joy #commander lawrence #ao3 #aunt lydia #season 5 #requests open

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glasskey · 7 months

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Nick & June's Mix tape Vol. 2

With season 2 comes volume 2 of our Nick and June mix and it’s an interesting one. Nick and June fall in love, await the arrival of their new bub, fight off numerous enemies and we learn that true love requires absolute sacrifice.

Rebel Handmaid Commander

Watching Nick and June fight at the Boston Globe is absolutely mesmerising. These two have been locked up and forced to behave for so long, now they have the freedom to actually argue (amongst other things…. cough cough) it’s like shaking the can and ripping off the lid. This scene is supercharged from the word go. The sex scene here is raw, real and by ordinary standards, it’s seriously graphic. These two are finally taking a deep breath of one another, instead of whispering sweet nothings and secreting themselves away in clandestine corners. June bites Nick, it’s antagonistic, a sign that they’re not going to be playing nice today. She’s still slightly pissed off and she wants no part of the lawn boy bit, so he’d better bring his A game. Well okay then.

There’s an incredible sense of relief at watching June being able to argue with Nick, the Handmaids hood and its accessories are ashes, and at last after years of being made to be quiet, she’s allowed to actually yell at a man for being an idiot. She’s also not this delicate precious thing in the tower anymore, and Blaine’s finally got the opportunity to have a few choice words of his own. Essentially both of them have grievances and they’re not pulling any punches. It’s clear from June’s new nickname that she’s already earning herself quite a reputation amongst The Eyes as a bit of a trouble maker. As the mother of his child, Nick’s understandably feeling a little antsy about her sticking her neck out so readily for the noose. Given Gilead’s somewhat unforgiving laws, Blaine seems to be a touch vexed that he’s spending a lot of time playing “stubborn or stupid” when it comes to June. But it’s exactly this relentless recklessness that enables her to be the kind of leader, he already sense’s she will become.

June’s rightfully annoyed that, while yes she has been extricated from the Waterford’s clutches, Nick doesn’t seem to have much of an idea as to what’s next. At this point Nicks still finding his feet with Mayday, no doubt he’s always known where to find them when he needs to, but up until now he’s never needed to. In Gilead you need to think two moves ahead and June’s allegation of Nick wanting “to play the hero” is a crack at just how unprepared he is. There’s a definite dig here at his status in the Waterford household as the resident whipping boy who’s suddenly decided that he wants to level up. As with June transitioning from “not being that kind of person” to our Rebel Handmaid Commander it all takes time. Heroes aren’t born, they’re forged through struggle and battle and Blaine’s not even close to being fully formed yet. It’s not until the end of Season 2, when he finally holds his daughter, that we see him begin this journey and it’s only the end of Season 5 that he truly earns a place by her side as a warrior.

Blaine’s definitely not thinking straight, he’s a freshly minted baby daddy who’s freaked out and gone against all of his instincts of self-preservation, to help June make a break for the border. June’s no better, she’s all heart, no head here too. Her love for Hannah completely outweighing any reasonable argument that Nick may have for the remotest chance of success. Ultimately his options are limited to letting her go with a gun or without one. Make no mistake, she was always going to get those keys.

Corinthians

In season 2 we see Blaine cite Corinthians 13:4, a psalm espousing the pure nature of love in front of Fred, Serena and his newly arranged wife, as he looks at June. “Love is patient” according to Corinthians 13:4, in Gilead it has to be, marriage is transactional and love is an inconvenient obstacle to a servant’s higher purpose.

If you were ever under any illusions that Nick was a “free” man, the whole Eden debacle should clarify things for you nicely. A free man doesn’t have to marry a child bride while the woman he loves and the mother of his child watches. That’s just not a thing. Nicks selection of this psalm is a message to June that’s designed to serve as an assurance amongst all the recent emotional rubble, but he’s also hoping to God that some of its actual meaning will penetrate Fred and Serena’s thick skulls. Unfortunately it’s to no avail, to the Waterford’s Corinthians is simply just pretty words and no message.

When Nick reads Corinthians, Serena understands exactly who it’s for and promptly sends June to her room…….like that’s actually going to make a difference. Serena’s maneuverings in this arranged marriage and Eden’s ensuing death are an eerie reflection of her forced conception of Holly and the ultimate theft of Nick and June’s dream for a family through the appropriation of their child.

Eden’s death is a metaphor for the destruction of paradise, her recitation of Corinthians 13:4 just prior to her death brings into sharp relief Gilead’s ruthless annihilation of beauty. Eden’s refusal to apologise for, lie about or relinquish Isaac, speaks loudly of the absolute unselfish sacrifice of true love. Nick may not give a fuck about himself but he loves June entirely and refuses to see her dead, however painful, he resolves to give her up.

Serena has observed the progression of Nick and June’s relationship and decided enough is enough, it’s now reached threat level 9 and needs to be stopped before it hits critical mass. Corinthians 13:4 speaks of love as something that is earned, treasured, abides through trials of great suffering, heals and humbles. If Serena had any inkling of what this meant, she’d know it was already way too late.

He's the one who got them out.

There’s selfless, and then there’s this next level shit that Nick pulled in season 2 when he smuggles out a bunch of handmaids letters and then credits Luke with getting them out. Okay so maybe not completely incorrect after all Luke and Moira did flood the internet with them. But seriously the statement “got them out” implies some type of serious effort or danger like let’s say a trip across the border with them, rather than a simple post on Insta or Twitter with a few choice hash tags.

At the very least Nick should get a bit of credit here right? RIGHT? The fact that he DOESN’T take any is absolutely intentional. Nick returned from Canada asking for nothing and giving June everything. It cost him a huge part of himself and the fact that he gave it away so readily was designed to illustrate his pure self-sacrifice for her. This is the moment, right here that’s designed to show that Blaine loves her, like LOVES her, and officially doesn’t care what it costs him.

The very act of passing these letters to Luke and then crediting Luke with them, is a veiled metaphor for the passing of messages back and forth between June and her family. While ridiculously selfless it’s necessary for Blaine to credit Luke in order to complete the actual construct of the metaphor.

Blaine is June’s conduit, her messenger, guardian, guide, lover, but with the words “I met your husband” he reminds her and acknowledges that in the ordinary world he will have to relinquish these roles. There are three words contained in this scene that perfectly capture Blaine’s sentiment and they’re heartbreaking in their simplicity: “I should go” he says and as he leaves he tells her he loves her for the last time that season.

Blaine looks crushed and limps away visibly wounded, June is so overjoyed by his news about Luke and Moira, it’s as if she is blind to his pain. For both of them there is the realisation that not only CAN she leave but she inevitably WILL. It’s not long after we see him arrange for June to leave and for the next three seasons he keeps his distance. This is a crucial moment for Blaine, the letters home and meeting Luke face to face form the basis of his attempted growing separation from her as he tries to do “the right thing”. The only problem is, the more that Blaine sacrifices for her, the more her love for him grows.

I wish I could hold her

No exaggeration, this fucking wrecked me. There are a few moments on THT that choke me up spontaneously and this is one of them. It’s absolutely gutting to see a usually stoic Blaine suddenly dissolve into a puddle of vulnerability, heartache and tenderness.

Blaine doesn’t often talk about their baby, he doesn’t dare, it’s altogether too much to hope for that they might one day be a family. Here he can’t contain himself, “Our babies so beautiful” he says, his joy over the birth of his new daughter and his love for the mother of his child, spilling out of him. “I wish I could hold her” he says with the heartbreaking revelation that Nick has been stripped of any claim to his own daughter, including the ability to hold her for the first time. Tears well in June’s eyes, her usual sassy cynicism completely melting away in a single heartbeat.

With the birth of Holly comes the first time we hear Blaine actually mention the possibility of leaving Gilead, for the first time he has something that might make him try. The two of them fantasise about an idyllic escape from the Hell of Gilead. The golden glowing leafy window makes it hard to believe they’re not already standing on a sandy beach beneath lush green trees.

The Waterford’s window contains a gingko biloba, the most ancient of all trees, a symbol of their lasting love and growing family tree. This is one of those incredible THT moments that will stay with you throughout the seasons, where two parents bond over the birth of their child and dream of a better life together…..in Hawaii. I’m not crying, you’re crying…

Before I get into our 3rd Nick and June Mix tape, I’ve got a second Lawrence and June Mix. In the future Nick and Lawrence will be getting a separate Mix tape, and Nick, June and Tuello will all be getting their own playlists. See you then.

#june osborne #max minghella #hulu streaming #june x nick #nick x june #nick blaine #the handmaids tale hulu #osblaine #elisabeth moss #bruce miller #THTplaylists&mixtapes #endgame #romantic #tv series #hulu series #s2 #the handmaid's tale #handmaid's tale #handmaid's on hulu

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