#crown arg out of context
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Discord pt 90
[Date: 17/03, 02.33 PM GMT - 17/03, 03.53 PM GMT]
[This conversation was going on in #arg, partly simultaneously to another in #general. The second is referenced later and was posted separately before this one.]
[Direct continuation of pt 89]
[After Void pointed out the gdoc change, Fetch added another message:]
[Added was: “Please don’t tell them please don’t tell them please just pretend you never saw this just please.”]
Void: “nvm may be just my bad internet fucking things up ignore me”
Jack the Observer: “Oh. I see it.
Little sunflower seeds in green and yellow :)”
[Maxwell: “Where do you see that?”]
Jack the Observer: “Ask fetch, I think. He’s the one who edits the blog”
Jack the Observer: “But it’s there, if you look.”
Maxwell: “Fetch....”
fetch: “It isn't though?? I'm looking at the doc right now and there's nothing about sunflower seeds”
Jack the Observer: “I can send pictures, fetch.
If you would prefer?”
Maxwell: “i cant find anything”
fetch: “jack. after yesterday do you really wanna push me.”
Jack the Observer: “Yeah, i kind of do, actually
I could
I feel like it’s important and relevant information”
Void: “fetch knows best about what is there just ignore what i said,,,,”
fetch: “yeah. let's just ignore it.”
Maxwell: “but you all said...seeds”
donti (e): “... fetch please, this is serious.. it could endanger everyone here”
Jack the Observer: “Sunflower seeds :) leaves in yellow and green. You think if i won’t let Max hide it, I’ll let you, Fetch?”
fetch: “jack. drop it. right fucking now with that stupid fucking smile.”
Jack the Observer: “You are, in fact, just as important as Max is.
Unfortunately.
And it’s imperative that we keep all of you safe.”
Maxwell: “that...is one of the nicest things ive heard you say to us....”
fetch: “i know the doc better than anyone. i know what's there and whats not. if I say there's nothing there then there's nothing there.”
Jack the Observer: “You put it there, Fetch.”
fetch: “there's nothing there.”
Jack the Observer: “ Uh huh. /s”
jaynoblade: “he's right. there's nothing there. i just looked”
fetch: “im not ignoring anything there's nothing there.”
Jack the Observer: “Jay, what the fuck”
jaynoblade: “genuinely. i just looked. nothing”
donti (e): “hey hey hHEYyyyy chill”
Jack the Observer: “Is it gone — wait”
fetch: “check for yourself, jack”
[Context: Fetch deleted his edits about the seeds.]
Jack the Observer: “Oh, no i still have it”
fetch: “as i said. there's nothing there.”
Jack the Observer: “I still have it. And i have more pictures if you want to see them.”
donti (e): “... seeds?”
Maxwell: “thats just an image of a previous thing?”
fetch: “how do i know you aren't just editing shit”
[donti (e): “... seeds?”]
Jack the Observer: “I’m trying to have Fetch tell you first.”
kateza: “Hi good morning what’s going on?”
Mothbo: “Jack saw something no one else did”
[fetch: “how do i know you aren't just editing shit”]
Jack the Observer: “Fetch. You know I don’t lie.”
[Mothbo: “Jack saw something no one else did”]
Jack the Observer: “Haha :)”
fetch: “but you sure as hell spout a lot of bullshit.
now for the last time. There's nothing. there. Fucking drop it.
please.”
Jack the Observer: “And now instead of knight you sound like Max
Crazy”
Maxwell: “what?”
Jack the Observer: ““Oh no, i don’t want to tell them, please i just want to suffer by myself and not accept any help even though I clearly need it, no everyone else is busy, everyone else is stressed, they can’t know please don’t tell them”
That’s what you sound like
And that’s what Fetch sounds like too”
fetch: “you better watch your fuckin mouth, pal.”
Mothbo: “Jack, that's not going to help them all. I know you're hurt cos of Syd but don't take it out on them.”
Maxwell: “....”
[Mothbo: “Jack, that's not going to help them all. I know you're hurt cos of Syd but don't take it out on them.”]
Jack the Observer: “I’m not angry, I’m amused. And I’ll admit, slightly frustrated. What is up with these people and their self esteem issues.”
fetch: “what's up with you and your attachment to someone that doesn't exist anymore?”
Maxwell: “.....fuck off”
Jack the Observer: “If you don’t tell them within the hour ill see you in #img”
[fetch: “what's up with you and your attachment to someone that doesn't exist anymore?”]
Jack the Observer: “Oh, so you don’t exist when Knight is out? Shut the fuck up”
Maxwell: “i....”
Jack the Observer: “I’m glad you’re not all acting so goody goody and nice talking me anymore. This is refreshing.”
[People tell Jack and Fetch to stop arguing with each other. That just solved nothing and there’s no time to waste]
fetch: “i don't have the energy to fight anymore. there's nothing in the doc, whatever you have is edited bullshit, end of story.”
Jack the Observer: “Okay, we’re just going to ignore someone purposefully endangering their own health then. Sounds good to me /s”
[kateza: “I just woke up, I’m assuming something supposedly happened with the doc, I’m assuming the edit history was checked can we please stop fighting I don’t like this”]
Jack the Observer: “I can see something important. I’m being forced to keep imperative information to myself. You can see why I might take issue with this.”
fetch: “i thought you loved keeping information to yourself. that's what an observer does right. he just takes in information and does nothing with it. he doesn't get involved.”
Jack the Observer: “This is different.”
fetch: “of course it is.
just drop it.”
donti (e): “ah.”
Jack the Observer: “Yeah it fucking is different, Fetch. We fucking need you on this team. We’re meant to just ignore when you’re hurting? We’re meant to ignore when you’re endangering yourself?”
fetch: “i said. drop it.”
Jack the Observer: “Holy fucking shit not everything is about Syd”
Jack the Observer: “Maybe this is just about you”
fetch: “well maybe I don't want to be paid attention to. i'm not a fucking zoo exhibit. just leave me the fuck alone.”
Jack the Observer: “I don’t know how many times? I have to say this? But if I saw you as nothing more than a “zoo exhibit” i literally wouldn’t care about this at all”
Void: “fetch, people will learn one way or another. please at least take the chance to tell them yourself?”
Jack the Observer: “Clock is ticking”
fetch: “there's nothing to tell. im fucking fine.”
Jack the Observer: “There you go, sounding like Max again”
kateza: “wait, ok, so now fetch supposedly has the buds? Is that’s what’s going on? No one is catchinng me up everyone’s just arguing”
Jack the Observer: ““I’m fine I’m fine” you’re clearly not.”
[kateza: “wait, ok, so now fetch supposedly has the buds? Is that’s what’s going on? No one is catchinng me up everyone’s just arguing”]
Jack the Observer: “I can see something. Fetch isn’t letting me tell anyone.”
fetch: “well MAYBE I DONT WANT YOUR FUCKING HELP.”
donti (e): “HEEEEY HEY
jacks doing what he can”
fetch: “YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT? YOU CANT FUCKING HELP ME.”
Jack the Observer: “...”
fetch: “QUIT TRYING.”
Jack the Observer: “...”
Jack the Observer: “...
...
that was a bit too loud for me, actually. Ill be in #img in fifty minutes.”
Jack the Observer: “good luck.”
fetch: “fine. i need a nap anyway.”
Maxwell: “......”
[People talk about how important it is to share information, especially with how the situation currently is, and that they’d have to work together if they were ever going to resolve anything about this problem. They then note that if this in-fighting continues, more and more people might be dragged into Crown’s court. But then…]
jaynoblade: “okay, this is somewhat off topic, but.... do we even really know who crown is? because we thought he was ranboo in enderwalk, but then in that one ask he implied that he isn’t”
Maxwell: “hes something else then....”
Maxwell: “uh small problem”
donti (e): “prince read the backlog.”
[This refers to the conversation that had been simultaneously going on in #general2.]
A random Spark: “I know...which means Prince probably now knows the deal with the three court members and why they're gone”
kateza: “which means we'll be having another mind wipe probably :/”
LLyr: “D:”
Maxwell: “OH NO OH NO OH NO”
Maxwell: “i...”
donti (e): “if we had explained it fae would be wiped and then we'd be in trouble.”
Maxwell: “can we tell faem? fae already know....”
Maxwell: “he only brought up me and fetch....should we tell him about marcus?”
donti (e): “... maybe?”
A random Spark: “It's a good idea to.”
LLyr: “if the dam has already broken, i dont see a reason to keep it hidden. maybe ask marcus what he thinks about it?”
Maxwell: “i wanna say his name...”
donti (e): “you already namedropped him,
go for it
he might as well get the facts.”
kateza: “i don't like this
i don't like where this is going”
Maxwell: “jack what did you put in images”
Jack the Observer: “What i promised i would.”
donti (e): “fetches entry.”
Maxwell: “hes..oh god”
Maxwell: “i messed up i messed up i messed up--”
kateza: “no no no
you tried to help max. you did what you thought was right and even if it didn't have the outcome you want you tried to do what was right and that's good of you”
Maxwell: “i made it worse no no no no”
Jack the Observer: “You calm down too.
Panicking isn’t going to help prince.
It’s fine. Let faem remember.”
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Thinking about how BA keeps reminding everyone that Peter isn’t on a Campbell’schen journey and non of the characters are Campbell’sche archetypes (and good riddance) and how a lot of RoL maps ... suspiciously well on the major arcana, as in, several of the cards have been basically recreated in-text, in the appropriate place in the narrative, in full and with full context, which I haven’t really seen anywhere else until now?
Some notable examples:
Skygarden being The Tower, and I’d say ‘duh’ here, if Skygarden wasn’t also a major turn both for the whole narrative as well as for Peter personally (thus being appropriately positioned narrativly, and also approximately two-thirds through the arc) and checked literally all stylistic marks; Crumbling Tower, three people falling, flashing light/lightning striking the top, a crown being toppled. For Chorley it even keeps the Christian Mysticism meaning of having your plans foiled and being toppled for hubris, so yay for that.
Peter being The Fool instead of a Campbell’s reluctant hero; going out on a new life path unprompted and out of his own voalition; motivated by a wish for (self)discovery and knowledge (with Lesley as a reversed fool unwittngly heading into darkness)
Nightingale/Chorley as Magician/Magician reversed; The Magician being a master of his trade, skilled in hard work (Staves) (yes staves are work I’m just also gonna leave that here), commanding his emotions fully (Cups) (Hey water is emotions and staves are work ... *hmmm-face*), a fighter (Swords) and commands money in some way; he’s also a trickster or mischievous, or lying and hiding secrets, mysterious. Reversed he’s the same, but an asshole who wants to fuck you over. I mean.
Duality of a hidden feminin mysticism tradition (Priestess/Society of Roses) and traditional, institutional, patriarchal traditions (Hierophant/Folly/Isaacs).
Empress/Emperor duality, but again, they map better then a lot of other’s, what with literally being very fitting for titles like ‘Queen of Queens, Mother of Abundance’ etc.
FS, directly following Tower, can be layed out as Star-Moon-Sun, which is rad, and also places the Bev not on the Lovers but on The Star (fulfillment of deepest desires, great luck etc.) and also, you know, the card that has the goddamn Aquarius pouring water as a beautiful woman on it o.O, and a literally descend into the Valley of Shadows and Secrets and re-emergence into the sun, with new-found knowledge (aka that Bev is great, lol) this is delicious I love it.
I’m very tired, and we have word of god that a lot of this stuff isn’t planned, and I literally just stumbled over it because I wanted to make RoL-Tarots for the lulz and realized this stuff maps so insanely well I felt kind of silly? (Tho design wise I place them elsewhere because good design and multible places of applicability). Like. RoL alone covers a bunch, I don’t think there’s a single one WuG because WuG is WEIRD, MoS is basically what I’d hand people who can’t wrap their head around the Devil not being the literal actual devil args, there’s some that just straight up don’t work well to specific places (what kind of narrative function is Wheel Of Fortune supposed to have anyways), the end of LS concludes an arc and like ... Hanged Man Reversed-Justice Reversed-Death-Judgement-Hanged Man/World I guess.
What I’m saying is Tarot is weird and like rorschach if rorschach worked and apparently, it makes for a hell of a better story than Campbell thanks for coming to my unhinged midnight-ramble.
#not putting this in the tag because I'm going to write a not-unhinged version of this one day hopefully#I'm literally jsut talking about symbolism here#because I LIVE for canonized intertextual symbolism
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Miguel de Cervantes and Elizabeth I
So I heard that the great Spanish writer Miguel de Cervantes has portrayed Elizabeth surprisingly positively in one of his novellas called La española inglesa (The Spanish-English lady). Of course, it sparked my curiosity, and, of course, I needed to read it! Unfortunately, the novella hasn’t been translated in Latvian, I couldn’t find it full text online in English and my Spanish is definitely not good enough yet to try to read Cervantes in original BUT I succeeded finding its Russian translation and was happy to read it.
Few observations:
It’s a love story between the Spanish girl Isabella and the Catholic Englishman Ricaredo. And also a survival story, I guess. I found it ... ahh... sweet, uplifting and fun if a bit overly melodramatic :);
Elizabeth is indeed portrayed positively;
I couldn’t help but wonder if Cervantes’s choice of the name for the main female character is deliberate. Because, you know, ‘Isabel’ stands for ‘Elizabeth’ in Spanish. Interestingly, Elizabeth herself is not named - she is simply called the Queen. Also, there is a suggestive and hilarious moment I absolutely love when Elizabeth musing about Isabella says “Hasta el nombre me contenta” like “Her very name gives me pleasure”. And I’m like, I bet it does, it’s your own name!
The situation of Elizabeth taking the foreign girl Isabella under her wing reminds me of the real Elizabeth taking under her wing the foreign girl Helena von Snakenborg.
For those who read Spanish you can read the novella here.
Also, I found the article The Machiavellian In-Betweeness of Cervantes’s Elizabeth I by Eduardo Olid Guerero which discusses Elizabeth’s image in the novella. Here are some excerpts of it:
“The reality of a princess trying to find a space in a masculine political scenario that was confirmed in the historical Elizabeth, probably sparked Cervantes’s interest and curiosity and led him to re-elaborate her into one of his novella’s main characters. The idea of an integrated cultural and religious diversity is present in the very title of “La española inglesa.” As Carroll Johnson observes, the title is already a paradox: a Spanish English woman or vice versa, both possibilities coexisting simultaneously (398-99). We see this diversity throughout the work: Clotaldo is a secretly Catholic Englishman working for the protestant Queen; Isabela is a Spanish Catholic slave raised in an English Catholic family; and the Queen is a critically in-between monarch in her own terms, exercising some of the qualities associated with Machiavelli’s virtù, while at the same time holding onto anti-Machiavellian moral values. A powerful, intelligent, fair, and beautiful female character is not new in Cervantes’s literature, but in this case these attributes are associated with one of the most powerful enemies of the Spanish monarchy. The title “La española inglesa” refers primarily to its young protagonist, but also to the idealist political role of this Cervantine queen in the eyes of Spanish readers. (..)
In Spanish literature, this novella belongs to the captive’s tale genre, a tradition that has its origin in the Italian novella, with the best Spanish example being Historia del Abencerraje y la hermosa Jarifa (1561-65). Generosity and virtue are the main themes of this anonymous story, and the different versions in prose and ballads emphasize these two values as essential to the Christian soldier. Cervantes already explored the theme of captivity in the context of the Moorish novel in another novella, “El amante liberal,” in the “Captive’s Tale” in Don Quijote, and in three early plays: Los tratos de Argel, Los baños de Argel, and La gran Sultana Doña Catalina de Oviedo. “La española inglesa” takes a new direction, since it seems to vindicate the message of Spanish Christian virtue within the tense relationships between Catholics and Protestants.
The story begins with the attack on Cádiz by Robert Devereux, second Earl of Essex, in 1596. Clotaldo, one of the English captains, kidnaps a Spanish girl and takes her back to London. He and his wife, secret Catholics, raise the girl, Isabela, teaching her the English language and customs, and also tutoring her in Spanish and in Catholic doctrine. As she grows older, Ricaredo, son of Clotaldo, falls in love with her. He rejects the Scottish bride chosen by his parents and finally obtains their blessing to marry Isabela. The Queen of England, however, intervenes, demanding the presence in court of the famous Spanish Englishwoman. After pointing out to Clotaldo that he has illegally hidden Isabela, and arranged for her marriage with his son without royal permission, the Queen orders that the young man prove himself worthy of the young woman. Ricaredo embarks on a pirate expedition to serve the English Crown. Meanwhile, the Queen decides to keep Isabela as a new addition to her court. Ricaredo returns successfully, and brings Isabela’s parents with him. She is then poisoned by a jealous servant at the palace, but the Queen saves her. Ricaredo confirms his love for the Spanish woman despite her newly monstrous appearance due to the effects of the poisoning, and the Queen decides to send Isabela and her family back to Spain. Ricaredo announces his travel to Rome, again to avoid marrying the Scottish girl. After the false news of her English lover’s death, Isabela decides to enter a convent in Seville, but the day she is supposed to join the order, he appears to proclaim his love for her in public, to assure their social integration and acceptance into the Spanish community. (..)
The Queen’s performance in the novella demonstrates a great deal of the good behavior (without the evil) that Machiavelli advocates as necessary for good leadership. Because he presents a female character with a human side who wields great power, Cervantes’s idealization of Elizabeth corresponds with this conception of a queen working for an English and Christian State. His story diverges from the Spanish populist tendency to imagine the Protestant Queen as an enemy of the Church of Rome. (..)
Cervantes’s literature could never follow Machiavelli’s pessimism about humans, since more often than not his works maintain a constructive and merciful view of humankind. Thus, rather than a fictional response to Machiavelli’s Mandragola, “La española inglesa” is an open window for Cervantes’s contemporary reader onto an imaginary and possible world where cultural and religious diversity coexist. In sum, Cervantes’s presentation of Elizabeth I differs from that of most writers by depicting an in-between human sovereign who acts reasonably, with exemplary justice, and within the strict terms of a monarch. Cervantes’s royal character performs Elizabeth I’s historical self-created hybrid identity for the Spanish reader.”
#Miguel de Cervantes#Elizabeth I#Elizabethan I of England#Elizabeth Tudor#Eduardo Olid Guerero#literature#historical figures in fiction
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when I see myself on the crown arg translation blog/ out of context blog
it me :)
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Major Mathias
Summary: In which the fictional hero Major Mathias finds himself in the real world, seeking the help of the young journalist Philomena Nikoya. It goes over as well as you’d expect it to. [oneshot]
Rating: T (for a lot of cursing)
Word count: 2,020 words
. . .
Major Mathias was a comic book hero that everyone adored back in middle school. I didn't really keep up with the series, but learned about most of it from some of my friends. In it, the series detailed Major Mathias, a hero the likes of Superman; a jack of all trades with very little, if any, weaknesses. The fanbase was split between the boys and girls; the boys enjoyed the masculinity, the girls more so- but for a different reason, if you catch my drift.
In every issue, Major Mathias would battle his ultimate enemy -the grotesque looking Calamity Carlisle- and peace would reign again for another issue. It was a really predictable formula the more you thought about it. The formula for each comic book issue was the reason why I eventually lost interest in the series. I made fun of my friends for actually being surprised for the twist that C.C. had been disguised as a friendly character in a bid to trick Mathias. Like, no, you obviously knew that idiot was not who he said the moment he glared at the hero a funny way. It was, like, a calling card or something.
I completely fell out of the series once we got to high school. I still had a few close friends that were interested in the series, but they knew better than to tell me what was happening. It worked out pretty well, actually. For the bulk of high school I never heard a word about Major Mathias and it was an absolute dream.
But then something happened.
In an issue published on June twentieth 2016, Major Mathias went missing. And, apparently, not even the writer knew where he had gone. It was just like Mathias had just up and disappeared from the series without any input from the writer at all. Now, I'm not talking about that old 'my character made me do this while I was writing' trope that writers talk about; according to the main writer, Major Mathias was actually gone from something they had already written. Any reference to Mathias was replaced with empty space and an occasional threat from Calamity Carlisle. There were photos uploaded to the publisher's Twitter and Facebook feeds that gave before and after comparisons.
A lot of these looked like a really poor Photoshop edit.
While my friends all freaked out about this mystery, I laughed it off as an elaborate ARG the publisher was doing to drum up hype for some new storyline or another. At that point, Major Mathias was a dying series anyway. Writers switched hands every other week; there were even rumors that some artists didn't even make it to the end of the issue. They always felt 'too sick' or 'felt like they were being watched' while they worked in their private homes. It was always some excuse after another- but the publishers would just refuse to let the dumb series die and have at it.
Now with Major Mathias 'mysteriously' disappearing from his own series, it looked like the perfect time to finally pull the plug. It was a brilliant excuse, honestly, and one that I admired in a 'fuck you' kinda way. Why give your series a proper end when you can just make your hero go away?
I'm sure you're sick of hearing about Major Mathias by now. What else more could I say about a comic book hero I lost interest in? I bet you're curious about who I am, and why I'm telling this story. Or not. Maybe you liked Major Mathias or something, good on you. But I want to be narcissistic now and you're going to like it.
My name is Philomena Jasper Nikoya. You can call me Fili if you'd like, it's usually easier to remember for most people. If you haven't noticed, I like writing- at the same time, I completely despise it. You can thank the dumb plots of Major Mathias for that; I used to write a lot of fix-it fanfictions back in middle school. Most of them involved Calamity Carlisle to actually win for once. Others involved Major Mathias actually recognizing that paper thin disguise because, my god, how dumb do you have to be to keep falling for that?
When I got to high school, I started doing some work for the school newspaper. At first, I was doing main articles with the help of a small team. It took me a whole year to convince the vice principal to let me do a column all on my own. You're looking at the proud writer of 'Superhero Nonsense', a very popular column in the school paper detailing superhero tropes and cliches with a mildly sarcastic narration. Our English teacher occasionally cites it when going over literary devices to help advance or enhance the plot- you could say that it's my crowning glory.
You can absolutely bet that I made a ton of riffs on Major Mathias. My friends gave me enough context to still harass the series even though I no longer read it.
I really annoyed them.
A lot.
I usually work on my column on the weekends at a local comic book shop. It's a real cozy place, kinda like those cat cafes I hear are all the rage in Japan. Except for the stunning lack of cats. Which is good- I'm allergic. Any way, our local comic book shop has a pretty good range of books; from the classics, to visual novels, and even official art books in every shape, size, and fandom. Located in the back corner is a pop-up cafe of sorts that offers simple coffee brews and light snacks- like cookies and donuts. Along that wall is a bunch of seating for us loafers.
My favorite place is a small recliner near the window. The recliner itself isn't much to write home about, but out that particular window you could see the busy street outside. It was nice sitting there, spacing out occasionally to watch the other people go by, as I worked on my column. If I had to pick a happy place, I think it would be there.
That is, until he showed up.
“FiliJazzPhone99?”
“Huh?” I wondered in a far off voice. I had been in the middle of an incredibly awesome writing groove and didn't feel the need to look up. When I finally did, I was looking up at a rather handsome looking young man. We're talking the whole nine yards, guys; a strong jawline, chocolate brown eyes that you could have melted to, and beautifully tanned skin that I couldn't quite place the ethnicity of. Not that I really knew what color I was on a normal day; but know this, it was not saltine cracker white.
“FiliJazzPhone99.” the guy repeated. “Fili. That's you, isn't it?”
As cute as I found this stranger so far, he was starting to creep me out. I started to carefully close the lid on my laptop as I looked him over. He was wearing the uniform the comic book shop employees wore when they were on the clock. So he worked here? Must have been new, because I knew practically everyone at this place.
“Even if I was,” I told him, humoring him for the moment, “Who wants to know?”
The stranger puffed his chest up, placed his hands on his hips, and grinned at me with a wide, cheesy smile. “Major Mathias, ma'am!” He relaxed his position a bit before going on. “And I really need your help Fili. Calamity Carlisle somehow forced me out of my series and into your world. They want to reboot my series from the ground up, and they want to do it without me! I need your help to get back to my world before their plans can come to fruition!”
For a moment, I just stared at him. This dude couldn't be serious. Sure, on second glance, he kinda did look like the hero. But a lot of normal people had really uncanny resemblances to fictional characters every now and again- the internet (and very dedicated cosplayers) was a testament to that.
I must have been taking far too long to respond because this not-Mathias made a stupid whining sound before forcing me to my feet.
“What do I need to do to make you believe me?” he asked. “I still have my powers- I can do anything you want!”
With a grimace, I forced myself out of his grasp. “First of all, you don't touch me.” I spat. “That would be a nice start.”
Not-Mathias recoiled a little. “Sorry...” he mumbled. “I just… You're the only one that can help me, and I just need a way for you to...”
Suddenly, a thought came to his mind; his eyes shot with a determination that almost intimated me. In a firm, certain voice, he said, “Archive of Our Own user, FiliJazzPhone99. Writer of 15 works. 2 for DC Superhero Girls, 2 for The Longest Journey, 1 for Dragon Age, and 10,” (he puffed up his chest in pride here) “For Major Mathias.”
I wish I could have seen the look on my face. I must have looked like I wanted to strangle him, or call the cops. Maybe both. I could feel my face boil over in white hot anger though. No force on earth could have stopped the profanity that came out of my mouth next.
“MY SHIT BIO ISN'T A DATING PROFILE YOU CREEP!” I screeched. “Just WHO the FUCK are you?!”
“I keep telling you! I am Major Mathias, and I really need your help Fili. Please!”
“You have a really shitty way of trying to convince me that you're real!”
“I know!” he shot back. For a moment, I thought I saw his eyes glisten over with tears. “You have no idea how confusing it is to be here! I have no idea how to get back, but you're the only one I know that can help! I could go to my publishers, or my writer, or… or anyone else but you if I could! Fili, I...”
Not-Mathias made a movement that he was going to take my hands again, but in remembering that I didn't like the last touch, he didn't do so.
“Who's going to believe me?” he asked, the desperation well laced into his voice. After a pause, he added in a small tone, “Who's going to believe you?”
I recoiled. Was it that obvious that I was ready to turn this guy over to the next looney ward the moment I was able to get my phone?
“Even if I did believe you,” I challenged, defiantly folding my arms, “Why me?”
“I've read your fanfictions.” he said, as if it were the most casual subject in the world. “I could see potential. I could see that you have a broader imagination that what you let on. You know what you're writing and you do so with excellent precision.”
I held my arms tighter against my chest. “There were better fanfictions than mine.” I heard myself grumble.
Not-Mathias let out a rather impatient sigh. “You're right.” he agreed. “But yours was the one I liked the most.”
“How flattering.”
“So you'll help?”
“Absolutely not.”
Not-Mathias gave another impatient whine before noticing the time. “I gotta get back to work.” he mumbled, more to himself than to me. He turned his direction to me before saying, “Please Fili. If you even remotely believe me, can you come back around 7? I should be getting off work around then.”
“And if I don't?”
I didn't get an answer. Instead, the young man deflated a little before starting to walk away. I watched him leave with a neat raise of my eyebrow. He had a very cute butt, for someone just two eggs shy of a dozen.
“God damn it.” I mumbled to myself before reaching into my backpack for my phone. I needed to tell my parents that I was going to be late for dinner tonight. Turns out, I was just as stupid as he was.
#original story#short story#oneshot#writing#my writing#writers on tumblr#original character#superhero#female protagonist#experimental fic#experimental#experiment#stream of thought#first person#first person view
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