#dealer!ellie

[ohcaptains]

don’t you dare fall in love. 

pairing. dealer college student! ellie williams x f! reader. 

synopsis. ellie tries her hardest not to mix business with pleasure. or, ellie gets a new customer and unfortunately falls in love with her.  warnings. 18+. drug dealing, references to anxiety, sexually explicit descriptions. eventual: smut, stalkerish behavior, violence, drunk/high kissing, homophobic behavior & slurs. 

an. trying my hand at dealer!ellie and it turned into a near eight thousand word fic. planning for this to be multi chap because i’m insane. please comment and reblog, it really makes the effort worth it<3 i hope u enjoy.

Mid-lecture, Ellie’s phone buzzes.

The girl next to her snaps to her in disgust, as if Ellie had smacked her with the device. The lecture hadn’t been all that interesting, anyway. Lord knows why this girl was so infuriated by a break from Johnathan Bailey’s spiel on eighteenth-century food prices.

Ellie hated this class. Professor Bailey had the innate ability to make History boring, when in High school, it had been one of Ellie’s favourite subjects. She was just thankful that she hadn’t picked it as her major, or she’d be gunning to change it.

Ellie leans forward towards the shared desk, and raises her eyebrows at the girl, as if to say, dude, before picking her phone up and unlocking it to a text from Dina.

Hey, expect a text from someone. I gave her your number.

As if on cue, the second phone she kept at the bottom of her bag buzzes. The girl shoots her another glare. Ellie chooses to ignore her. Glancing at the lecturer, she puts the phone under the desk and texts Dina back.

She cool?

Ellie only dealt to a select trustworthy few.

Three dots pop up, followed by: Yeah, she’s in my social studies class. She’s cool.

Then, almost immediately, another text, reading just: gay.

Ellie scoffs. The girl beside her flinches, and she nearly twists to her, asking what her problem is.

Thanks, she texts, deciding against it. She does glance up to the lecturer again, though, but he’s too busy talking about the famine to notice Ellie texting.

Not that it matters, she types.

Though, it sort of did. Ellie always had a weakness around pretty girls, which was incredibly bad for business. She always ended up with slashed prices and a broken heart. She wasn’t looking for new customers, especially pretty gay customers. Though Dina never usually did this, so she guesses the girl must be desperate. Ellie was a generous type. (Especially around pretty gay girls)

No? Dina responds, followed by a slew of side-eye emojis. Well, at least you’re supporting the community.

I supply to multiple communities Dina; my shop is very inclusive.

Whatever, she’s cute. And she’s single.

Ellie rolls her eyes, typing, Why don’t you get with her? and the three bubbles stay moving for a while, as Dina types and re-types her response. Finally, she settles on, Jesse and me are a thing again.

Ellie’s thumbs smash into the screen, When did that happen?

Last Ellie heard; they were on a break.

Last night, at the party you decided not to go to.

Dude, I had an essay to finish.

Whatever – anyway, this girl is cool, so be nice.

When the lecture ends, Ellie shrugs her laptop into her backpack, followed by a half-finished, bitten biro and her battered notebook. She slides the spare phone out, thumbing the smashed screen and slipping it into her back pocket. When she leaves the hall and starts walking through campus, she pulls the phone out.  

Hey! Dina gave me your number. She said I can buy from you?

Then, a minute later. Or we can go through Dina if you’re more comfy with that, idm !!!

Ellie sniffs a smile. She always preferred selling to girls – they were nicer than the gross frat boys she used to sell to. Even if she did grow attached. In first year, she used to sell out of her Dorm. Used to sell to anyone, really – nearly got caught by campus security. If it wasn’t for Dina stashing her shit, she’d probably still be in jail right now. Now, she kept a low profile.

She trusted Dina’s word – if she said a customer was cool, they were cool.

No, she types. This is cool. Who sold to you before? Then, or is this a first?

About a minute later, her phone buzzes again. No, you’re not my first lol.

Ellie scoffs a laugh, shaking her head at herself. She makes her way to the library, pushing her headphones on. Another buzz, Guy I used to use started getting weird.

She frowns, typing, From campus?  

Yeah :/ think he fell in love with me or something.

Ellie slots her ID over the gates of the library and pushes in.

Mindlessly, she types, Promise I won’t fall in love with you. Bad for business.

In the back of her head, she thinks, please don’t be really pretty and funny. Please don’t be really pretty and funny. She reaches her usual table – hidden away under a closed-off stairwell in a quiet subsection – and dumps her bag on the desk, pulling her jacket off. Her phone buzzes again.

Lol, please don’t. Too much hassle finding someone new to buy from. Everything was cool until he started putting love notes in the bags.

She’s typing immediately, Whaaaaaat?

She suddenly feels bad. This girl didn’t need another creepy dealer falling for her.

Yeah:/

Sorry that happened, that’s not cool.

Thank you:) Anyway, yeah – is it cool to pick up?

Ellie pauses. She chews on her bottom lip – a nervous habit she’s yet to break – and types, I don’t have anything with me.

:(

Pushing her lips together, Ellie thinks to herself. She comes to a quick conclusion, hoping and begging that it doesn’t blow up in her face.

You on campus? She asks.

Yeah.

Meet me at the library if u wanna.

Yeah? Three good?

She checks her watch – 1:30. Enough time to finish the history assignment she was procrastinating.

Yeah, she types, throwing her battered phone to the table before pulling out her laptop. The device buzzes again. She glances at it.

You’re a lifesaver<3

 At three, Ellie texts back.

Coming now, lmk when you’re there.

Already here:) on the benches. Pink backpack.  

Ellie spots the backpack, and then spots you. You’re sitting on the bench, leg over the over, and scrolling on your phone. Casual black pants cling to your legs, riding up your thighs, resting tight around your hips, where you’d haphazardly tucked in a blue loose tank. The arm holes are jagged, and as you move, Ellie sees the band of your black bra, and the smooth skin beneath.

She pauses in the doorway, getting a good look, but also getting in the way of a guy trying to get in.

“Dude—” he juts, and Ellie spits a curse, hands up in apology. When she turns back to you, you’re already looking at her. Curious eyes take her in. Down-turned brows, pursed lips, and you lick them, smoothing your hand over your knee. You scan her, trying to figure out if it's her, Ellie guesses, and she goes hot under your gaze, all too aware of her limbs as she walks towards you.

“Ellie?” you ask, squinting up at her. Your hand comes up to shield your eyes from the sun. Ellie ignores how cute you look with your features scrunched together. Professional, she tells herself.

God, she is pretty.  

She tries to look casual. Throws in a nonchalant shrug. “Yeah, that’s me. “ She nods to you, managing to school her features. “Dina didn’t tell me your name.” “Oh yeah,” you say, introducing yourself. You get up from the bench, slinging your bag over your shoulder. Ellie sees the baby blue water bottle peeking out of the side pocket. She registers that you’ve matched your water bottle to your outfit and decides it's best to ignore the resulting fizz in her belly.

As you move, she’s cloaked in a cloud of citrus. Jesus fuck okay. She breathes in deep through her nose, getting another whiff of your perfume. She steps back, trying to get away from the intoxicating scent. Jabs a thumb in the direction out of campus. Thinks, let's get this over with.

“I gotta go to my apartment to get it, you cool with that?”

You nod, seemingly agreeing, but she notices you picking at your nails. The air changes a little, humming with electricity as nerves suddenly wash off you. She doesn’t know why – she isn’t all that scary. Though, she guesses, she is when she’s trying to be serious. She unclenches her jaw.

She turns to go, but you don’t move. “Err, your apartment far?”

Ellie pauses, “Ten-minute walk.” You stay planted to the spot. She raises a brow, “Or we can meet later? If you’re more comfortable with that?”

You smile softly, thankful. Still, you shake your head – “No, got work to do. Kinda need it now.”

Ellie looks you over. Her eyes are curious – she takes in the anxious rubbing of your palms, and the chewing of your lip.

Her eyes turn to slits, and she nods to you.

“You okay?” “Yeah – “you burst suddenly, laughing. “Sorry. Um. Not trying to spook you, I’m not a cop.” “That’s what a cop would say.” “Yeah, figured you say that” you laugh, taking a shaky breath in. Ellie watches you splay your hands out, “I get anxious around due dates. Got a few soon, so need something to calm my nerves.”

A small smile plays on Ellie’s lips. “So not a cop then?” she jokes, and you lose that nervous frown for a split second. She watches your whole face change, and Ellie’s two seconds away from telling you where her stash is, just to permanently rid you of that anxious dip in your brow you once wore.

Whoa there, Ellie. She thinks, reigning herself in. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. She looks around, itching her neck, “Err, so what did you need?” “Just an eighth, I have my own skins and stuff. You got purple Kush?” “Yeah,” she nods, turning to leave, “follow me.”

You trail after her, catching up with a bounce.

The beginning of the walk is quiet. Not awkward, but not comfortable, either. Ellie’s too busy fighting the urge to glance down at you. When you finally leave Campus and get onto the main road, she turns to you.

“So, when’d you mean Dina?”

You glance up, startled out of a daydream. “Um,” you hum, thinking back. “Last year, at the LGBT society.”

Your eyes flick curiously to her, and Ellie wonders if Dina told you that she liked girls, too. She feels the sudden need to tell you.

“I went to a few of those meetings,” she tries to casually add, feeling her heart pick up speed, that familiar nerve of coming out swelling in her chest. Didn’t matter how many times she did it – pushing herself over that hill always made her palms sweat.

You smile softly, and Ellie tries to decipher it. Interested? Curious? She feels suddenly too close, like she should step away. She speeds up, and your arm brushes against hers as you catch up.

“Oh yeah?” you ask, this new shared thing dispelling your anxiety. You walk backwards, a little excited. Ellie likes this new bouncy you. You’re too pretty like this to waste time being anxious. You cock your head to the side, “Maybe we saw each other there.”

Ellie shakes her head. “I only went to a couple, plus if I saw you, I think I would have remembered.”

Your eyes widen an inch, mouth opening, features twisting in surprise. Ellie’s cheeks bloom red.  

“Fuck, sorry –,” she starts, shaking her head, “--that was inappropriate.” Your arm brushes against hers again as you move to walk beside her, and a metaphoric, cliché flicker shudders through her skin. You hitch your backpack up, “I’ll choose to believe you’re just very friendly.”

A laugh sparks out of her. She itches her forearm, and she notices your eyes flick down to her tattoo. “So, err –“she starts, tugging her jacket back down, “Dina?” “Yeah. We met there and had a few classes together. Only really spoke properly this year. She’s cool.” “She is.” You smile, “Said you were cool, too.” Ellie nods, “I am, not as cool as her though.” “You two used to be a thing or?”

Ellie glances down at you. You put your hands up. “I get to ask something inappropriate after your comment.” She rolls her eyes, but burgundy silently agrees. “No – we didn’t. Nearly. But it was silly. Think we just figured that cause we were the only queer girls we knew that we should be together.” “Jesus, I know all about that.” “Yeah, confusing.” “Now she’s with Jesse, no?” “Yeah – back together. But we’ll see how long that lasts.”

Ellie hears herself. She snaps to you, “don’t tell her I said that.” You pull your lips into your mouth, smiling. Why did she say that? She loves Jesse and Dina together. 

The fuck is happening? Why is she vomiting the truth like you’ve put some sort of spell on her? She just found out your name, for Christ’s sake.

“So, you don’t go to any more meetings?” she quirks, squinting into the distance. “No, it fizzled out. When I went, everyone kinda knew each other, now it’s just freshmen. At first, I thought it would be an easy place to find a girlfriend, but—” you shrug, “—turns out they were already with each other.”

Ellie laughs softly, silently agreeing. She had thought the same at the beginning. Newly out after the hell of Highschool, she was ready to meet the girl of her dreams. Ended up getting the worse heartbreak of her life.

Well, second worse.

“So, no girlfriend?” You shake your head. “Too busy, anyway. As much as I’d love a cute girl to cuddle with at night, my plates kinda full at the moment.”

Ellie briefly imagines being the cute girl you cuddle with at night. She’s too busy thinking about it, that she nearly doesn’t hear you when you ask, “So, what’re you studying?”

Small talk, Ellie can do this.   “Physics.” Your eyes widen, “Physics? Christ.” “Yeah,” she laughs, knowing that would be the response. Ellie’s casual demeanour and tatted state didn’t really scream, Physics student with a minor in Astrophysics. Plus, she sold weed out of her apartment. Smart girls didn’t do that. Or they did, and Ellie wasn’t giving herself enough credit.

“But I have to take a lot of elective classes to keep my scholarship.” “Scholarship?” you ask, glancing at her. “Smart girl then.”

Ellie goes beat red. Her palms go tingly. You must be a mind reader.

“Er, I guess?” she manages. “Um – what about you? What’re you studying?”

Ellie listens to your spiel. She didn’t think finding out about someone’s academics would be so interesting, but Ellie hangs onto every word. Finds out you work at the campus bookshop, and she’s already planning her next trip. 

She watches your mannerisms, watches you speak with your hands – watches your smile build and change, face squinting from the Jackson sun.

When she gets to her apartment, she’s filled with sudden disappointment.

“This is me,” she signals, pulling out her key. “You want me to wait down here?” you ask politely. Ellie looks over her shoulder, shaking her head. “You’re good. I trust Dina.” “So, you trust me too, then?” you grin, winking, and Ellie’s so blinded by it that she misses the lock. She huffs a laugh, “funny girl.” “I know – “then you grin, teeth chewing on your bottom lip. “Cute, too.” Ellie chuckles, still trying to put the key in the goddamn lock. “Confident as well.” “Confident, polite,” you list, hands behind your back, bouncing from left to right. “Anxious?” Ellie jokes and your eyes widen, mouth open. “Hey!” you scoff. “Don’t make me give you a bad review.” “Wouldn’t want that—fuck sake, why can’t I…” “Need help?” “No, thank you. I can unlock my own door.”

Can she, though? Her hands are so sweaty that the key keeps on slipping. Finally, she unlocks it. “Fucking finally.”

She pushes the door open, motioning for you to walk in front of her. You pass by her with thanks, and Ellie watches the back of you as you start climbing the stairs.

What was it Dina said? Cute, cool, and single. Ellie’s add nice ass to the list.

Don’t be gross, Ellie, her subconscious suddenly sneers. She tries to look away. Eventually, she does, but you stop moving, and Ellie’s nearly colliding with it.

“Which floor is it?” you ask suddenly, turning over your shoulder. You glance down at her, and Ellie blinks up at you, cheeks red, hoping and begging you didn’t notice where her eyes just were.

“Er, two,” she mutters.

You carry on climbing. Ellie feels a little like a gross dude, and she spends the entire journey trying to rid herself of that sickly feeling. After a few minutes, you get to her apartment, and Ellie manages to unlock it on the first try. But when she opens the door, she panics. Her apartment is a state. She turns suddenly, meeting your confused eyes.

“Um, stay there, I gotta sort some shit out,” and she ducks behind the door. Your voice calls out from behind the door, “I’m not gonna judge, mines probably worse.”

Ellie starts throwing stuff around, hiding it under tables and in cupboards. Thankfully, her living room isn’t as bad as her bedroom.  

Ellie’s speaking. Doesn’t know what she’s saying until she’s said it, “that’s probably incorrect; your water bottle matches your outfit.” There’s a pause before you quirk, “You noticed that?”

Ellie pauses. She scrambles for an explanation, “Er, yeah. I have really good eyesight.” “Right.” “Yeah, twenty-twenty--“she throws an Overwatch plushie behind the sofa, finishing her sentence, “—vision.” Ellie yanks the door open. She finds you patiently leaning against the wall, playing with your nails. Your backpack is on the floor between your legs, and you curiously glance up at her.

“Done?” you ask politely, voice soft.

Ellie’s cool. Well, she likes to think so, anyway. Likes to think that she’s chill. Laid back. Cool as a cucumber. However, there is nothing chill about the sudden panic that blooms in her chest upon the mere idea of you walking into her apartment. Ellie nods, cool and chill and so laid back she’s boneless. “Yeah – just don’t look at the kitchen.” “Course,” you giggle. You sling your backpack over your shoulder and follow her in, arm unintentionally brushing across her chest. Ellie leans back, ignoring the weird warmth that buzzed from your touch. She closes the door, turning to find you standing in the middle of her living room, looking around.

“Um—” she starts, grabbing your attention. She walks towards the small hallway, rubbing her sweaty palms on her jeans. “--take a seat. Lemme –” and she jabs a thumb behind her. You nod, smiling – always with that soft, polite smile – as you plop down on her sofa.

Ellie basically runs away.

When she reaches her bedroom, she leans against her closed door, facing the ceiling. She takes a few rescue breaths. Suddenly warm, she shrugs off her jacket and dumps it on her bed as she fumbles for her secret stash. 

Just a girl. She mumbles to herself, looking through the pre-made bags. Just a girljustagirl, justagirl. 

She’s itching to call Dina. Pick up the phone and tell her that she can’t see you again. That she’s made a grave mistake. Actually, this isn’t gonna work out. You’re cute and all but. Ellie stops. She pinches the brim of her nose. That’s it. You’re just cute. Why’s she being so silly?

When she walks into the living room, you’re sitting snugly on her sofa, scrolling on your phone. Ellie wants to run away again.

You see her and lock your phone, smiling. “Hey.” “Hey – eighth, right? Purple kush? You don’t need it rolled?” “No – I’m okay. Thank you, though.” “Yeah, no worries.”

Immediately, you reach for your purse. Ellie realises that you have to pay. How the fuck has she forgotten the most important part of this whole deal?

She mentally smacks herself in the face.

“Dina didn’t tell me how much,” you smile, expectant. Ellie rattles off her prices, and you swap. She shoves the money into her back pocket and sees you opening your backpack. You pull out a medium-sized white case. Ellie thinks nothing of it – probably somewhere you store your weed, so your bag didn’t end up stinking of it.

But when you pop the box open and stuff the bag inside, she sees the faded imprint of Hello Kitty on the side.

“Oh my god,” she laughs, and you put your hand up, knowing exactly what she’s laughing at. “No judgement, okay? It does the job.” “No, it’s –” she rubs her chin, “it’s cute.” You make a face at her, “It is cute, actually.” “It’s sweet. I’m sorry I laughed.”

You push it into your bag and zip it up, throwing it on your back. You grin, and it’s God Damn adorable, “You’re forgiven.”

Ellie flicks her gaze to your mouth and slowly loses all sense of reality. There’s a moment where she registers that she has to say something, you know – speak. But watching the way your teeth tug at your bottom lip seems far more interesting, and useful, too.

“Um – I should,” you start, motioning behind you. “Yeah fuck, err,” Ellie stutters, snapping out of it. She laughs to dispel the nerves, and you’re both awkwardly laughing, flushed and nervous.

When you’re out of the door, Ellie watches you leave. She leans on the frame and finds herself fighting the urge to say something. Turns out she doesn’t have the energy to fight very hard.

“Better than the last guy?” she quirks, pulling her arms under her chest. You twist, beaming, “Oh – you have no idea. He dealt out the back of the cafeteria, smelt like old socks and cabbage.” Ellie frowns. “Mike?” she asks, knowing exactly who you were buying from. Your features widen in recognition, “Yeah! You know him?” “Yeah – he’s fucking weird. Creepy. Doesn’t surprise me he was leaving notes in the bags.” Ellie shakes her head, then nods to you. Her smile goes friendly. Twists into her cheek, “promise there’s no love notes in that bag, only weed.” You walk backwards, grinning. Suddenly, your features turn playful, and you chew on your bottom lip, squinting, “Awh, think I was kinda hoping for a love note.” Ellie's heart stops. Her eyes widen, and a rush of adrenaline hits her. She wonders if she heard you correctly, then yeah – you definitely said that. She goes to respond – reaches for something witty and cute to respond back with, but when she opens her mouth, no words come out. She manages to make a small, pitiful choke, and you giggle at her.

Ellie melts. “See ya,” you call out. Your voice echoes through the hallway as you descend.

The puddle that is Ellie rests in the frame for a second before she finds the willpower to scoop herself off of the floor and scramble inside, grabbing for her phone. Dina answers, voice groggy.

“Hello?” she groans, a serious attitude in her tone. Ellie ignores it -- doesn’t hear it, really. Too busy hearing the echo of your giggle as you turned her into soup. “Dina, what the fuck,” she spits.

The ghost of your perfume is still in her living room -- orange and grapefruit. “What?” Dina sneers. “You didn’t tell me she looked like that!” There’s a beat where Dina catches up, “Like what?” “Cute!” “Oh,” she pauses. “Wait, yeah I did.” “Yes but, like -- fuck.”

Ellie can’t think. She must have left some of her brain cells on the hallway floor. “Really cute,” she manages. She starts to spiral.

“She was really polite, too. Like, smiley and polite and was like, no worries! And I literally – I literally forgot that she had to pay, Dina. She pulled her purse out and was like, oh yeah.” “Jesus Christ.” “Then she started talking about her old dealer who was really weird—” “Yeah, Mike. She told me about the love notes.” “Yes! Yeah!” she nearly yells. “When she left, I jokingly went ‘don’t worry, there’s no love notes, only weed.’ And she fucking—” she smacks her forehead, “--fucking said, Awh, I was kinda hoping for a love note.”

There’s silence on the other line. Then a resounding, “Oh.” “Yes,” Ellie agrees. “Oh, exactly. I nearly pissed myself, Dina. I stood there, completely silent, staring at her like a weirdo. Please tell me she’s like that with everyone.” “No, she’s quite reserved, actually. Quiet – Ellie, what have you done to my sweet, innocent girl?”

Ellie paces in her living room. The speed makes your perfume swirl, and she has to open a window to think straight. The cool air hits her flushed face, settling her swarming nerves. She breathes in the fresh scent, heart rattling. Her fingers are numb.

“I’m having a gay panic attack and it’s all your fault.” Dina barks a laugh, saying, “If it’s that bad, just say you can’t deal to her anymore,” and Ellie’s silent. Contemplative. Dina knows exactly what she’s thinking. “But you won’t do that, because you’re basically in love with her already.” “Din, she had a Hello Kitty weed box. Like – “she closes her eyes, and whispers, “what the fuck?” Dina turns sarcastic, “Oh no, not the Hello Kitty weed box.” “Not funny, Dina. Really think she’s the love of my life.”

She plops onto the sofa. Dina speaks, “Should I start calling the U-Haul?” Ellie scoffs, “Shut up.” She fiddles with the fabric of her couch, running her fingers across the seams, and then slipping them between the cushions. She encounters something small and hard. “—the hell?” she mutters, pulling it out. She blinks at it. “Oh my god.” “What?”

Ellie holds the stick into the light, reading the bright label. “She left her lip-gloss here.” “Oh, would you look at that. She’s moving in already.”

The lip gloss sits on Ellie’s coffee table for days before she plucks up the courage to text you.

Holding the stick to a particularly clean part of her living room, she takes a snap of it, before sending it to you with, Hey, this yours? and throwing her phone at her sofa cushions, rushing into her bedroom as if it were a bomb.

When she thinks it’s safe to come out, it’s been an hour. 

She’s even managed to forget that she’s texted you, so when she picks her battered phone up and sees a response from you, she thinks, Oh my God, she’s made the first move. Disappointment and a tinge of shame flood her when she realises.

LOOOL, yes, that’s mine, you text, then, Imagine if it wasn’t.

Ellie goes to say, oh no, apart from Dina, you’re the only girl I’m dealing to, but it would be easier if she just wrote I AM SINGLE! on a flag and planted it outside her apartment.

She manages, lol.

Sorry, must have dropped it. Kay if I get it next time I pick up?

Ellie’s heart clenches. She has to start taking turns of her apartment like an Austen protagonist to stop herself from short-circuiting from energy overload. She texts, Yeah, that’s chill.

You sure you don’t want it? think that colour would suit you:)

Ellie smirks, more of a ChapStick girl.

I guessed that.

Her face twists, pausing. What does that mean? She responds.

I wasn’t trying to insult you!!! Just. The baggy clothes. Flannel shirt. Ellie’s texting, thumbs smashing as she responds with, It’s not flannel, just a shirt. Your three bubbles pop up, ohhhh right right, sorry sorry.

Ellie should have left it. Should have gone, well, that’ll be the extent of our flirty banter. But she’s writing, I can’t believe you’re calling me a chapstick lesbian rn. Your response is immediate, Nah uh, you said that! I implied it. No weed for you, Ellie lies. Nooooooo, pls don’t make me go back to Mike. Your own fault. Hope you like ravioli cause that’s what the cafeteria had for lunch! :((((((((( don’t be a meanie!!!!!

Okay, maybe you’re forgiven.

Weeks pass, and you come, and you go. Ellie tries to keep things casual. Professional. Still, she cannot help the excitement that floods when she gets a text from her busted phone.

Hey:) you’d text, I’m tryna buy tonight if you’re available!!

She reads into your messages, thinking, she must like me, she used two exclamation marks. Two!

She gets silly and dumb with it. Overthinks your interactions. Overthinks the brush of your fingers when you took your Lip-gloss from her.

Usually, she’d have the stuff ready at the door, but now she’s finding herself inviting you in, and then sorting the bag, so she could be around you longer.

She starts remembering your outfits, for fucks sake.

Holds onto every little comment you make.

Overthinks every time you brush past her, or every time she opens her front door to you.

Sometimes, she dreams about it -- just the revolving images of her door opening, revealing you behind it. You’re wearing the same bright, excitable smile, every time.

In a particularly low moment, she found herself in CVS at the perfume counter, smelling different samples, trying to figure out what scent you were wearing when you first met.

She doesn’t tell Dina that. She does, however, tell her everything else.  

When she sees you around campus, her day is immediately made. She doesn’t ignore you like she does with her other customers, no. She says hi. Sees you at a coffee shop, waiting for your order, and says, “Hey.”

You grin, genuine happiness on your face from seeing her. “Hey you.”

Ellie thinks about it for weeks. Dina hears about it for days.

“She said hey you, Dina.” “I know, Ellie. You told me yesterday.”

You’re polite, a little flirty, but Ellie thinks it’s just…no. She does think you like her, but she won’t let herself think it’s anything more than friendly. It’s just business.

Then she gets a text.

Ellie’s at Dina's, half watching a movie, half dozing off. 

Dina’s already asleep and has been for the last hour. She promised she wouldn’t, then was out like a light. Ellie’s nearly blacked out, too, and she’s about to pass out when the sound of her phone pinging makes her flinch. 

She’s groggy, so she’s slow to pull it out of her bag, but when she does, she’s wide awake.

She freezes like a deer in headlights. Then she snaps to Dina, needing to tell someone. She grabs her arm and shakes it violently. Her friend goes to smack her.

“Jesus Ellie! Get the fuck off of me!” Dina bats her hand away. Ellie grabs at her friend's palm, squeezing. “She texted!” she squeals, giggling like a schoolgirl. Dina yanks her hand away, “Okay, but you don’t have to abuse me.”

Saw you in the Library having a serious study sesh.

Then, wanted to say hi, but wasn’t sure if we were cool like that.

Ellie collapses back onto the sofa, “I’m gonna piss myself.” “Lemme see,” Dina goes, yanking the phone from her. She blinks at the busted screen. Her eyes widen.

“Oh fuck, Ellie,” Dina whispers. “This is the moment. This is the make-or-break moment.” “What do I say!” Ellie nearly shouts. Dina leans back on the sofa, pushing her black hair back. She shrugs, “depends on what you want.” “I want to curl up in a ball and live in her backpack is what I want.” “I dare you to text that.” “Dinnnnaaaaaa,” Ellie whines, falling back onto the cushions. Dina pushes Ellie’s feet away from her. “Elllllieeeee, you just pulled me from a deep sleep. My ability to flirt with girls is at a minus two right now.”

Ellie stares at the text. She drafts a response, and then edits it, taking out some prepositions and adding some dashes to sound more casual. She comes up with:

Hey, you shoulda said hi! It wasn’t all that serious – spent most of it watching old episodes of the x files.

Dina leans over. Her thick brow quirks. “That’s you flirting?” Ellie purses her lips, “No, this is me being friendly.” Dina pulls back, “I thought you wanted to fuck her,”

Ellie looks at her as if she’s silly. “Of course I want to fuck her, but I can’t just say that.”

“No, but you’ve just spoken about Aliens. My dick is limp right now.”

Ellie throws a pillow at her, “I’m gonna punch you in your limp dick.”

Ellie’s phone beeps. She scrambles to read, Oh my god, which season? I started it from the beginning again a couple of months ago.

The phone is brandished in Dina’s face.

“See – a common interest.” Dina huffs, “whatever, if you wanna go the whole slow burn route, that’s fine with me.”

Ellie sits back against the sofa, readying her thumbs to respond, before feeling a warm flutter of breath tickle her ear. She turns, and Dina’s right there, peering over her shoulder. She hides the phone.

“I can’t flirt with you watching me!”

“You just said you were being friendly!”

“I’m about to start flirting!”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” her friend sarcastically drags, “I didn’t hear the starter pistol to know the race was starting.”

“You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know,” Dina sighs, resting her chin on Ellie’s shoulder. “But I’m also hilarious.”

We should hang out and watch it if you want, Ellie texts. Then, quickly, totally cool if u don’t wanna tho!

Dina hisses, “Fumbled the bag.” “I’m being nice.” “Yeah, too nice.” “It’s cute.” “It’s booorrrrringgg. Just write, Netflix and chill? With a winky face.” “X files isn’t on Netflix anymore.” “Not what I meant.” “I know, I’m choosing to ignore what you meant.”

Yeah, I’d be down:) lemme know a time, and I’ll be there.

Dina pulls back with a sigh, “The ball is in your court, Els.”

  Ellie doesn’t let you know a time.

In fact, she doesn’t respond at all. She gets busy with schoolwork, due dates, and her uncle, who’s visiting for a few weeks. She always means to respond, but days pass, and she thinks it would be awkward to message now.

Desperate, even.

The cracked screen of her busted phone mocks her. Ellie tries to draft a message, Hey, sorry for going quiet. Been busy.

But she deletes it. Thinks, she’s only being nice to me for a deal. Only wants to hang for free weed.

It’s happened before – it’s destined to happen again.

She’s so overwhelmed with these sudden self-deprecating thoughts, that she starts thinking them in her sleep.

You’re desperate, you’re needy. Why would she want you?

She goes somewhere dark. Cloudy. Starts getting restless but can’t sleep. Starts crashing during lectures, and seminars – in art class, brush still in hand.

One day, Dina grabs her shoulders, just message her. Why are you torturing yourself?

Ellie doesn’t text.

You text her.

Hey!! okay if I pick up?

But she’s asleep when it comes through.

She wakes, three hours later, with the keys of her laptop indented on her cheek. When she reads your test, she jerks up straight.

Yes! She writes, inhibitions suddenly gone with the wind. Soz, crashed mid-essay.

She stares at the message screen for a second, waiting for your response. When it doesn’t come, she locks her phone, rubs her face and gets up to get a drink. But when she stands, she pauses and taps her phone again. 

She even unlocks it, wondering if maybe your response didn’t reach her home screen yet.

The thing about Ellie is --she’s eager.

She pretends to be nonchalant about things. Pretends that the little grin you gave her at the coffee shop didn’t affect her, or the small, smiley faces in your texts don’t give her pause. She tries to convince herself that she doesn’t fall easily. With herself, she’s a little liar. With you, though…

She types if u went back to Mike I’ll die.

The whooshing sound of the text sending fills her ears, and then she pauses, realising what she’s said. “Jesus, Ellie,” she mumbles, shaking her head at herself. She locks her phone, dumps it on the table, and then drags herself into the kitchen.

You don’t respond for an hour. She’s making dinner when her phone buzzes, and she flinches like a startled animal. She manages to stir her pasta again a grand total of once before she reaches for her phone.

Would never!! I’m a loyal customer, would never cheat on u.

Ellie’s belly flips. She stares at your big watery eye filled emoji for far too long. You’re still texting.

Tho you didn’t text me about x files:(

Ellie’s thumbs smash into the screen, I’m sorry!!! classes picked up, I’m swamped.

Your response of, awh, okay. I was waiting near the phone for your message:( fills her with so much glee that it makes her sick. She’s about to write, you’re so fucking cute, when your message comes through.

Okay if I pick up now? No worries if ur doing something.

Ellie looks down at her baggy sweats and coffee-stained tank. She’s rushing into the bedroom to change as she texts, Nah, It’s chill. Lmk when ur here.

When she opens the door, you’re standing on her welcome mat, wearing a pretty, flowy summer dress.

She thanks the lord she changed.

Still in sweatpants – though, cleaner ones, -- she’s wearing her favourite top, the one that’s a little too tight, and sits just above the band of her trousers, showing a strip of muscular skin.

She was so nervous waiting for you to come, that she’d smoked beforehand. She’s got the familiar tingle in her limbs, but she’s pretty sure it’s from seeing you in this dress.

She gives you a quick once over, or at least, she thinks it’s quick, but when she glances back at you, you’re looking up at her with a raised brow. She flushes red and clears her throat.

“Hey – “she smiles, then nods to you, “--you look nice.”

Nice doesn’t cover it. She’s never seen so much skin. The dress is fitted, and it clutches your waist, sinching under your breasts. She looks at the bloom of your chest, then immediately glances away, trying to hide the flutter in her lower stomach.

You grin, “thank you,” and you splay your hands out at your waist, shaking them, as if to say, look at me!

Ellie nearly faints from the cuteness.

“Dinner party later,” you explain. “Right.” “Yeah – s’on the way.” She nods, lost in looking at you. You’ve got a splay of glitter in the corner of your eyes, making the bloom of colour pop. There’s shimmer and blush on your cheeks, too. Your lips are the colour of ripe cherries, and she wants nothing more than to lean in and taste.

She breaks out of her trance, shaking her head and widening her eyes at the floor, “right – er, fuck. Sorry.”  

You giggle at her, licking the corner of your lips. “s’okay.”

“I haven’t sorted your shit, gimmie a minute. Come in.”

You brush past her, and a cloud of sweetness follows you. Candyfloss, Ellie thinks, and apple.

She closes the door and turns to you. The dress is tight at your hips, too, bursting out over your thighs. You’re wearing a simple heeled sandal. Ellie stares at your lavender-painted toes.

You spin, dress swirling, “you should have told me you were cooking.” Her pasta simmers happily. “Oh no! it’s fine -- Making pasta, not really cooking.”

She shrugs, “This won’t take long anyway.”

Depends on how long I can drag it out for.

“Eighth, right?” she asks, walking towards her bedroom. When she turns over her shoulder to look for your answer, she swears she catches you looking at her ass. You glance up, caught. It’s her turn to raise her brows at you.

“Er, yeah,” you stutter, “You got any pre-rolled? My friends wanna smoke, too.”

She taps her hand against the doorway, thinking. “Ah, shit. No – I can roll it for you, though?” You nod, and she disappears into her room.

When she comes out, you’re stirring her pasta.

When Ellie was younger, people would talk.

They noticed her lack of boyfriends and her inclination towards girls. She’ll grow out of it, they said. Ellie had never seen her sexuality as something she could ‘grow’ out of. Years later, when she didn’t grow out of it, she started imagining what her life would look like. Imagined a wife and a house that would home her.

Imagined walking into her kitchen, and finding this very sight.

Ellie pauses. Catches herself in the daydream of resting behind you, placing her palms on your waist and kissing the back of your head – thanks for making dinner, baby.

“Oh, sorry,” you sheepishly apologise, grabbing her attention. “It was boiling over.” Ellie holds her palms up. “No argument from me.”

She pads to her coffee table, and sits down on the sofa, leaning over to start rolling for you. Seconds later, she looks up and catches you cracking pepper and salt into the pot. Jesus fucking Christ.

You pad around, dress swaying as you open cupboards, looking for something.  

When did you get so bold?

“You got any chilli flakes?” “Hm?” Ellie hums, a little dazed. You spin to her, your features anticipatory, “Chilli flakes.” “Oh, err. Yeah. In the bottom cupboard to the left.” The nervous tilt of your brow is back, but there’s a small smile there, too. “Can I put them in?”

Ellie opens her mouth in pause. You rush, “Just a bit, just a teensy bit. I’m telling you, it turns quick cook pasta into a gourmet meal.”

You can do whatever you want.

Ellie nods, not trusting her voice. You hurry around excitedly.

“What’re you putting it with?” “Just. Bought pasta sauce.” “Where is it?” “In the cupboard.”

You reach for it.

Ellie goes to tell you to stop, but fuck, she’s mid-fantasy now. She’s saying Honey, I’m home, and walking into the kitchen, finding you cooking for her in a pretty dress.

You leave the pan on the stove.

“Just heat the sauce, okay? I’ve put some herbs and spices in it.” Ellie feels cosy – feels taken care of. The feeling sits low in her belly, oozing into her bloodstream. “You didn’t have to do that.”

You shrug, near swaying towards her. Ellie’s making sure the roll-ups are neat and tidy looking -- taking her time for you.

“How much for the papers and your services?” you quirk. She glances at you from beneath her lashes, then drags her tongue over the paper, and swears she sees you follow the trail of her mouth. The high is there, pulsating in her veins.

“So professional,” she jokes, tone teasing, earning herself a giggle. You walk over, plopping yourself down on the carpet near her table, dress fanned out around you like a peacock. “I’m a professional lady.”

You reach for the bag, starting to roll one. Ellie watches you. Watches you lean over, breasts jostling as you reach.

“Helpful, too,” she comments, and you beam, smiling as you spread the weed over the paper.

Ellie wants nothing more than to see that smile forever.

She’s calm now, the weed she’d smoked making her bold. It gives her the courage to look at you, no holds barred. Her red-rimmed eyes flick over your soft features. 

The balmy air outside has caused a light sheen of sweat to build over your clavicle. A small bead of liquid slides down, and Ellie watches it descend, imagining reaching over and licking it off of you, tasting salt and the apple of your perfume.

Her body warms, tense with anticipation. She doesn’t snap out of it.

You’re too busy rolling to notice, but she does see you straighten your back, perking to attention.

“Um’ being serious,” you comment, consciously rubbing where she’s looking. Ellie catches your eyes.

“Consider making my dinner and seeing you in that pretty dress as payment.”

There’s that grin again. You beam at her, tongue gliding over the paper, and fuck, Ellie’s chest clenches. Her lower belly pulsates, pushing lower. “Does this dress also get me a discount?” you quirk. Yes, Ellie thinks. Fuck, do that again and you can get this shit for free. But she manages to catch herself. “Don’t push it, babe.”

Your smile twists, suddenly a little flustered. Ellie hears the echo of the endearment in her ears. If she wasn’t high, she probably wouldn’t have said that. Still, the word fits on her lips, and it seems that you like it as you reach up to nervously itch your shoulder. You shrug at her, the movement pushing your tits together, “can’t blame a girl for trying.” “No,” Ellie grins, and she catches your eyes. “I can’t.”

Ellie ends up giving you the discount anyway. There’s a voice in the back of her head saying, told you so. But then she’s seeing the knife and fork you left out for her on her countertop. Sees the napkin you folded, then rested on top of a plate.

Wife, she thinks. Wife wife wife.

“Thanks for this,” you smile, putting the roll-ups in your case. Ellie does not look at your tits. She does not look at your tits. Instead, she shrugs, “thanks for cooking for me.” Your smile coils into your cheek, warm and inviting, “Any time.”

When you leave, Ellie leans her head against her closed door, the wood cooling her warm body. Her stomach clenches. The ache that built there holds strong, and there’s a funny fuzz in her head, drunk on the remaining perfume that lingers in her living room.

She reaches down, mindlessly sliding her hand between her thighs. Her nerves spike, causing a shudder of breath to shake through her.

“Fuck sake, Ellie,” she groans. She clenches her fingers tighter, pushing up into the warm ache, and finds herself whispering your name.

She starts to realise why your old dealer fell in love with you.

PART TWO. 

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams fan fic #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams imagine #dealer!ellie #dealer!ellie williams #college!ellie williams

[itsbecomeblue]

texts with gf!ellie short smau

sinopse: some texts and a post by gf!ellie

cw: nsfw, explicit sexting, swearing, not explicit if reader is fem or masc, established relationship, implicit dealer!ellie, modern!au.

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie tlou2 #ellie williams x female reader #ellie x fem reader #lover girl!ellie #ellie imagine #ellie williams smut #ellie smau #ellie smut #ellie williams smau #ellie fluff #dealer!ellie

[elliesbelle]

texts with college gf ellie

part 2

you and ellie have started living in an off-campus apartment together ♡︎

content warnings: dealer!ellie, cursing, mentions of marijuana, sexual content, mentions of sex, mentions of a strap-on, a bit of sexting, references to a strap-on as a "dick", mentions of penetrative sex, slight mention of a little daddy kink, minors do not interact

texts with domestic gf!ellie: part 1, part 2, part 3

texts with college gf!ellie: part 1, part 2

texts with gf!abby found on my masterlist here

i have a ko-fi if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

we will see a free palestine

keep the lesbian flag creator alive

author's notes:

haven't done one of these in a while, so hope y'all enjoy this <3

first two convos are inspired by recent text convos between me and my live-in ex lmao (she was mad af when i fell asleep instead of unlocking the door cause she pushed into the front door expecting it to be unlocked and she spilled coffee on herself 😭)

also the uno convo is also inspired by the time my best friend and her gf were visiting me and we were playing uno with live-in ex and live-in ex was drunk and got mad as hell bc she apparently grew up with different uno rules slkdfjsdkl

making these reminded me to repair a few of my lingerie pieces cause i've been slacking on sewing them back ugh

also idk why this ended up being really sexy at the end oops well i hope y'all enjoyed anyway lol

#ellie williams #ellie texts #text convos #ellie x reader #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #gf!ellie #ellie smut #the last of us #tlou #the last of us part 2 #tlou2 #belle speaks #belle answers #belle writes #dealer!ellie #college!ellie

[iactuallykissedsharawheeler]

𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐒 𝐖𝚰𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝚰𝐄

*in sleep deprived menstruation voice* hope you guys enjoy!! 💞💞

#˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ — reine writes ! #ellie williams #dealer!ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x reader #dealer!ellie #the last of us #tlou smau #tlou2 #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x female reader #dealer!ellie williams

[totheblood]

superposition. (one)

pairing: dealer!ellie x best friend!reader

summary: you've never been on a date, hell, you've never even kissed anyone. ellie decides to be a good best friend and teach you how! wow.. so kind of her..

warnings: 18+, nearly every chapter will have a somewhat sexual element to it (this one is probably the tamest?), cursing, alcohol/drug mention, suggestive themes... cheating if u squint

a/n: i want bff!ellie and that's all... friends to lovers??? fav trope. i hope i do this justice and i hope you guys like it... ai audios at the end as usual

"in every universe, you are my dark star."

You felt like a fucking loser.

Well, you usually felt like a loser, but as you sat on Dina’s couch researching what to wear on a first date you felt absolutely lame. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been asked out on a date before, it’s just that no one you liked had asked you out on a date before. A girl had never asked you out on a date before. But since the cute girl from your chemistry lab had asked you if you wanted to go to dinner with her, you happily agreed.

You were just… inexperienced and although it never bothered you before as you approached the time for your date you were becoming increasingly more nervous. What to wear, what to order, and what to talk about were all things you were not familiar with and you wanted to be, if anything, overly prepared. So you did the only thing you knew how to: Google it. 

Your feet were tucked under your legs as you sat crisscrossed on the couch. From the living room, you could hear Dina and Jesse laughing in the kitchen as they snacked on whatever they had available in their pantry. Ellie was sat at the dining room table with a scale in front of her, measuring and sorting loose flowers into dime bags. This was what a regular Friday night looked like for your friends. It usually ended in Ellie passing around one of her pre-rolls as you watched a shitty movie Jesse had suggested, but tonight you planned to leave early for your date.

As if Ellie could sense the tension rolling off of you from her place at the table, she plopped herself next to you on the couch, startling you from your anxious state. 

“Jesus, fuck-” You looked at Ellie with wide eyes, her green ones staring back and searching your face as if she was analyzing you. “We need to put a bell on you. You scared the shit out of me.”

“I practically stomped over here, it’s not my fault that whatever-” She gestured back and forth between you and your phone. “Is going on with that stopped you from hearing me.” 

You rolled your eyes at her fully knowing she was right but not wanting to give her that satisfaction. “Yeah, whatever.”

“Soooo,” She began, drawing out the sound as she placed her arm behind you on the couch and leaned into you. “What’s got you all nervous today? I swear whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous.”

You groaned, leaning your head back and into Ellie’s arm. You tilted your head slightly to look at her. She looked comfortable in her grey hoodie, her other hand tucked into the pocket. Her eyes were locked on yours and her eyebrows knit together. She was concerned about you. If the reason you were freaking out wasn’t so juvenile you would be eating this up, but instead you just felt guilty. It annoyed you how well she knew you sometimes.

“It’s so stupid, El.” Your voice came out in a whisper almost as if you were telling her a secret. “You’re gonna laugh at me” Her face softened as she offered you a small smile.

“How much do you wanna bet it’s not stupid?” She leaned her head back on the couch, trying to match your posture. “And if I laugh you have full permission to punch me.” 

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a second. You knew that she would never make fun of you for freaking out over a date, but that didn’t stop you from being reluctant to say it out loud. 

“I have a date tonight.” When you opened your eyes you scanned her face looking for a hint of a smile, something that would tell you not to stress. Instead, you saw a different emotion flicker over her face, something you couldn’t quite place. Shock? No. Sadness? No. Disappointment? Close enough. It didn’t make much sense to you but as quick as it was there, it was gone.

“And?” She didn’t sound annoyed, but she didn’t sound happy for you. For the first time in your life, you were having a difficult time reading her.

“And I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never been on a date before.” With your admission, you squinted your eyes causing your nose to scrunch. The reaction you were getting from Ellie was hard to read and you were already beginning to feel extremely embarrassed. When you finally did adjust your vision to look at her she just looked confused.

“Why did I not know you’ve never been on a date?” 

“Cause I never told you.” You laughed, a downturned smile on your face. “Not really the best talking point.” You were trying to lighten the mood but Ellie’s expression never changed.

“I mean, it makes sense.” She casually said. If you were anyone else you may have laughed it off, but the sentence cause a sharp pain in your chest. Your mouth fell open as you gasped and playfully pushed her shoulder.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Her eyes widened as she realized how you took her sentence.

“No, no- fuck. I just mean like you spend all your time with me. You never really talk about anyone, I’m not saying no one would date you cause obviously I know that’s not true, I just mean… I didn’t mean it like that.” She rambled out, a frantic look on her face.

“Damn, Ellie. Tell me how you really felt.” The smile crept back up on her face as she realized you were teasing her.

“So you’ve never been on a date? So what?” She shrugged, trying to steer the conversation back in it’s original direction.

“So I don’t know what to wear, or what to talk about, or howtokiss.” You mumbled the last part of your sentence together hoping she wouldn’t notice, but she was Ellie and she noticed almost everything.

“Wear that pink floral dress you have, the one that makes your boobs look amazing. Talk about yourself, it’s a date, the whole point is to get to know each other. And what was that last thing you said?” When she spoke to you everything she said seemed so casual, but you weren’t like her. You couldn’t brush over the fact that she just told you not only does she know your wardrobe without thinking too much about it, but also makes a note of how you look in them. How your tits look in them. 

“Uhm-” You cleared your throat. “I don’t know how to kiss. I’ve never done it before.” You reluctantly admitted. Again you expected Ellie to laugh at you, but she just stared at you, then your lips. 

“Well, I can show you.” She shrugged, eyes trained on you. Your mouth hung open, unsure of what to do. On one hand, kissing your best friend never seems like a good idea, on the other hand, you could use the practice.

“I mean… now?” You asked, your body heating up in anticipation. She looked completely serious, her lips were a straight line and her body seemed completely calm. She was the complete opposite of you. She slightly got up and leaned over you as she peered into the kitchen, presumably checking for Dina and Jesse. As she sat back down she took another quick glance at your lips. 

“Yeah, now. Just a quick lesson before your date.” She said it matter-of-factly almost as if this would just be a case of a friend helping another friend. Like she was offering to help you move or something. A part of you assumed you were overthinking it. If she was so nonchalant about it, then it must not be a big deal. Right? 

“Yeah, okay. It couldn’t hurt, right?” 

“Don’t think so.” She agreed.

“So, what do I do? Do I just-” You placed your phone on the couch between you before cupping her cheek. Ellie placed her hand that was previously in her pocket over yours and moved your hand down to her thigh before leaning in close to you.

“Just relax, I’ll show you how.” Her voice came out in a whisper that you could feel ghost your lips. You were unsure of when she got so close but you could smell her, feel her short and rapid breaths coming from her nose. If you moved an inch your lips would be on hers, but you decided to let her take control.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as she closed the small gap between your faces and pressed her chapped lips against yours. Your eyelids fluttered closed as you froze, unsure of what to do next. Her hand that was still resting on yours tapped the back of your hand. Almost instinctively you parted your lips and hummed when her tongue tentatively brushed against yours. It almost felt natural, her tongue in your mouth and your hand on your thigh, but as she slowly pulled her face back from you, you suddenly wanted more. 

Your free hand grabbed the back of her head, your lips capturing hers once again. You were fighting to feel her tongue in your mouth again but understood what she wanted when her lips parted. Her hand which had been resting behind your head for a better part of your conversation had made its way down to your waist and gently pulled you into her. Your chests were impossibly close together and every little noise you made caused her to get more and more aggressive. Your whole body was burning and you were attempting to ignore the wetness that was growing at your center, but Ellie just kept going. She guided your hand further up her thigh, humming into your mouth as you brushed your thumb over her inner thigh.

With the hand that was previously trapped in your hair, you steadied yourself with a hand on her shoulder as you pushed her back in an attempt to straddle her. Both your hands had moved. Her hands found their place at the base of your hips and yours were gripping the back of her neck. Her lips felt like fucking magic as she began to suck on your bottom lip. You could feel a tightness in your core, something you were all too familiar with. Your clothed hips ground down on hers, causing her to gasp and break away from you instantly.

“Fuck, fuck. Okay.” She sighed, leaning away from you and gently pushing you away from her. When you got a good look at her her lips were swollen and eyes red and glossy. You wanted to kiss her again, you wanted to relieve the pain you were beginning to feel, but the situation was beginning to set in for you. 

“I can’t believe you’ve never done that before.” She blinked up at you, her hands rubbing at your sides distracting you. Your mind was practically empty. 

“Was I okay?” You asked bashfully, causing her to snort. All she did was lean up and press a kiss to the side of your lips, before pushing you off of her and back onto the couch. 

“You were more than okay, that was-” She stopped herself as she looked at you. Her eyes scanned your face, staying too long on your lips. “I think your date will go great.” Something in her tone seemed solemn, but she had a gentle smile on her face, and her hand was still hoovering the side of your body.

“Thank you.” You said quietly, eyes never leaving her. 

“I should get back to work, and you should go get ready.” She pushed herself off the couch and made her way back to the dining room table, leaving you sitting there licking your lips just for the taste of her. A second after her you got up too, grabbing your bag from the coffee table in front of you. Ellie turned back around to look at you from the table. 

“Wear the dress, and uh-” She stopped to look you up and down. “Text me when you get home tonight.”

ai audios:

#mine #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fan fic #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams oneshot #modern!ellie williams #college!ellie williams #ellie williams one shot #dealer!ellie #dealer!ellie x reader

[elsweetheart]

what you heard : part one

synopsis: you start to develop feelings for your boyfriends dealer.

♪ what you heard — sonder ♪

cw: reader is a bisexual woman dating a man, brief descriptions of having sex with a man, weed, alcohol, ellie’s sexual thoughts, blink and you miss it mention of throwing up, a man being really mean and a bad boyfriend, gay girl drama, ellie is kind of a homewrecker but reader doesn’t technically cheat, but mentions of it. kind of angsty at times? a little?

an: whew this is kinda lengthy !! idk how many words so… don’t ask me :( i hope you all enjoy it! i’ll start writing part two asap!

Ellie didn’t hate any of her customers, no. That would be bad for business. She just simply… preferred some over the others. Louis was one of those customers that she wouldn’t exactly reserve her best weed for. Not originally, at least. He was like a lot of the other guys on campus, average. Brown hair with the same old outfits, love of sports, and friend group. She could find one hundred of him. She kept a pretty exclusive clients list, not wanting to overwhelm herself with business whilst she’s really trying this year to stay on top of her studies. He wasn’t the most polite, and he was always showing up without texting first — but he paid, and that was good enough to keep him on as a customer.

Alright, maybe that wasn’t really the reason Ellie kept him on as a customer.

She always liked to check out the social media accounts of the people she sold to, try and figure out what kind of person they were, who they knew, and if they seemed like the type to give her up if a cop came knocking. Also, simply put — the girl was nosy. Don’t let her nonchalant demeanour fool you, her Insta-stalking skills rivalled the FBI. She knew she probably shouldn’t, and she did feel a little weird doing it — scrolling on her bed one evening in a hoodie and basketball shorts, she typed in Louis’ name to the Instagram search bar.

He had one picture up of you, the rest were pictures of him and his friends at parties. Real classy, she thought. She clicked the picture, wondering what kind of girl would have to be desperate enough to go out with a guy this… meh, and oh… Oh. You were smoking hot. It was a halloween throwback, a basic couple costume with Louis dressed as the devil and you, ironically enough dressed as an angel. He kept his sweaty pink hand on the curve of your ass as the two of you laughed. She wondered what was funny. He got lucky, she thought. Very lucky.

Ellie tapped you, and a tag emerged on the screen with your name. Pretty name, of course. Private account — much to her disappointment.

It would be totally inappropriate to follow you, right? Her customers girlfriend. Ellie clicked her own profile, gazing at it thoughtfully. Her profile picture was a black screen, and she had zero pictures up on her account. She had a considerable amount of followers, given her reputation but she didn’t follow many back — just a few very loyal customers, and her best friends Jesse and Dina. It would be weird to follow you right? Yes. Very weird, Ellie. She closed out the app, and pretty much forgot about it.

It was always the same exchange with Louis. He turned up, either unannounced or 2 hours late — burp, demand weed whilst barely sparing Ellie a glance or a thank you, and then head out. She didn’t always mind — not being a huge fan of small talk anyway, though she could do without the burp. He’d had texted earlier in the day, asking — no, telling Ellie that he would be passing by to pick up his usual ‘at some point’. A quiet knock rapt at the door around 02:23PM. Ellie swung the door open, coming face to face with you.

“Hi… Ellie?” You smiled. Hopeful, sweet, even prettier in person. You were wearing a little sundress with the cheap thin material that hugged every curve on your body, and if she stared a little longer like she wanted to she’d start to border on creepy. Ellie cleared her throat, fighting out a greeting and praying it would come out relatively normal.

“Yeah.” Was what she landed on. Whatever, play it cool. Pretend you didn’t try and stalk her Instagram.

“Louis isn’t coming, the weed is for me and he told me where to buy from, so… hi.” You grinned before telling her your name like she didn’t already know it.

“Hey. I’m Ellie.” And with that, she stepped aside and let you in.

It was like you brought the sunshine in from outside with you, because as soon as you stepped into her room Ellie felt too warm in her grey hoodie. She pushed the sleeves up as your eyes flickered around her dorm, realised she felt stupid and pushed them back down.

“How much you want?” She was pulling out the metal box from her drawer, glancing up at you as your brows furrowed unsurely — thinking as you tugged at your glossed lip. Ellie tried not to stare.

“Uh—” You breathed, and it relaxed Ellie slightly to see that you seemed more nervous than she did somewhat— just for a different reason. “Louis told me to just ask for what he usually gets? I’m sorry, I’ve never bought my own weed before.” You cringed, and then cringed again at the word choice. Ellie smiled fade into a soft chuckle with a nod that said ‘I bet you haven’t.’ She should have guessed, when did pretty girls ever buy their own weed?

“You’re good. I know what his usual is.” Ellie reassured, digging around in the nuggets. She pulled a couple out, placing them down on her scale before bagging them up. You held out your hand unsurely, and she pressed the plastic baggie into it. Your mouth opened to say something, and Ellie’s hand froze above yours as she watched you — trying to work out what might be wrong. “What? Is this not…”

“No, sorry. It’s perfect. I assume. I’m not sure. I just… I don’t know how to roll these. Lou told me to buy my own weed seeing as I am the one who wanted to smoke and — it’s okay. I’ll just Google it.” You shook your head, feeling your cheeks turn warm at your own rambling. Ellie stopped you as you went to shove the baggie into her pocket with a calm smile, raising her eyebrows as if to say ‘Hey, it’s okay. Chill.’

“I can roll it for you. It’s no biggie.”

You visibly relaxed, and Ellie could tell because of the way your chest collapsed slightly, not suffocating your tits against the material of your dress anymore which she couldn’t help but glance at as you looked away. “Thanks. Sorry.” You guffawed, your embarrassment seeming a little relieved as you stepped back, leaning against her desk as she pulled her chair and tray out to do the rolling.

“Louis not buying your weed for you?” She conversed, eyes on the rolling paper as she carefully packed it. Your head snapped towards her, realising that you were the one who blabbed that. Her eyes glanced up at you briefly when you didn’t immediately answer.

“No. It’s… okay though.” You justified, a mass of shame swirling just below your rib cage. You didn’t wanna talk shit about your boyfriend to a stranger, even if the stranger had a totally welcoming vibe about her — and your boyfriend was cheap. Ellie tsk’d lightheartedly, shaking her head. “Against the rules, man.” She comment quietly.

“What rules?” You furrowed your brows defensively as she continued packing.

“You don’t let your girl buy her own weed?” She repeat obviously. Something about the way she said it made the embarrassment in your stomach dissipate into butterflies, which widened your eyes slightly at the disloyal feeling.

“Oh.”

Silence for a beat or two as Ellie concentrate. You notice the lesbian flag on her pinboard.

“It’ll probably just be me and my friends that smoke it anyway. The weathers nice so we’ll be at one of those frat pool parties… You don’t go to those?” You tilt your head, and her eyes lingered on you as you did so at the sugary sweetness in your gesture. God, you made her teeth hurt.

“Nah. I hear those things get weird and horny. Straight people… no offence.” She glances towards you once more, the ‘no offence’ holding little to no weight. Ellie didn’t seem like the type to give a shit about offence, anyways.

“I’m bisexual, but I understand.” You giggle, pushing yourself back to sit more on her desk, swinging your legs as you watch her roll. Her fingers froze for just a moment, before she continued rolling.

“Oh yeah?” She conversed, absolutely despising how a flame of hope flickered in her chest. Nope. Not doing this again.

“Yeah, actually I…” You chuckled. “I started college with the hopes of finding a girlfriend. Things just… didn’t end up that way I guess.” You shrugged, and you seemed happy enough but Ellie could sense the disappointment buried deep.

“Huh.” Ellie let out as she licked the rolling paper, firmly closing it up. She kind of hoped you were watching her as she did so. You weren’t. “You know if you squint really hard Louis could be a lesbian.”

“Really?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Nope.” Ellie pushed her chair back, standing. You chuckled and she smirked, pushing the two pre rolls she’d made into a bigger baggie and then presenting them to you. “This gonna be enough?”

“Oh yeah, I’m a total lightweight.” You giggled girlishly and she nodded, stuffing her hands into her pockets as she watched you fish around in your purse, unzipping an inside pocket to stuff the rolls inside.

“Cute.” She let slip with a smile, and your heart fluttered a little. You berated yourself for that silently.

“What extra do I owe you? Do you charge for rolling or… I don’t know how this usually works.” You pulled out your pink zip up wallet, the zip a glittery jewel between your fingers.

“Nah. No extra charge.” She held her hands up and you raised your eyebrows in surprise. That was a lie. She did usually charge extra for that, but one thing about Ellie was that she was a sucker for the pretty girl discount.

“Really?” And out came the doe eyes, your dark heavy eyelashes weighty above your pretty eyes as you looked up at her in awe. It was Ellie’s hearts turn to flutter.

“Really.” She smirked, not breaking eye contact (much to her surprise) as she pinched the cash payment from you between her pointer and middle finger knuckles, only swallowing down the giddiness when your fingers brushed hers. You grinned, zipping your wallet back up and tucking it away, feet tapping on the floor a little like you just couldn’t contain your excitement (Which made Ellie want to squeeze you.)

“I know you said it’s not your thing, but you should come to one of the pool parties. Most of the time the people there are cool. It’ll be good for business.” You wiggled your eyebrows which made Ellie’s smile uncontainable, teeth actually on display now which she honestly never did. No one was ever funny or cute enough.

“Maybe.” She rolled her eyes with a smile, walking you towards her door.

“They happen every weekend. Would be cool to see you there.” You fixed your bag over your shoulder before turning back to her. “Nice to meet you, Ellie. You’ll be seeing more of me.” You nodded formally, and the auburn haired girl tore her eyes away from the visible band of your underwear through the material of the dress when you looked back at her, muttering a “Good.”

Ellie always came away from these kind of things wishing she said more. She knew you had a boyfriend, but something about you seemed more curious. Like you weren’t totally against the idea of flirting back. Maybe it was all in her head because of the stupid crush she’d already developed. She didn’t understand it, how could someone like you feel fulfilled by someone like him. Ellie would never let you pay for your own weed, she’d treat you right. She had the means to be able to spoil you, which she didn’t need proof to know that Louis didn’t. Hell, he couldn’t even pay for his girls weed — Ellie knew stingy when she saw it. He probably wasn’t even making you cum. Not like Ellie could anyway, but then again who could? She’d like to think she had a gift — but maybe it was a guitarist-fingers thing, and years of deftly rolling tight joints.

Ellie shook her head free of the thought — sure she was a little grey-moralled — but thinking about finger fucking one of your customers girlfriends on a sunny afternoon felt a little wrong even for her. She was heading off to meet Dina to exchange notes for a class she missed, again just about willing herself to stay focused this semester. The two of them chat over coffee, the notes barely touched as the two friends joked around. When a pensive silence filled the space between them, Ellie spoke up — picking at a hangnail in a way she hoped was casual.

“You ever been to those campus pool parties? The ones at that douchey frat house?” She shrugged, glancing up at her darker haired friend.

“Uh, yeah. Like once or twice.” Dina frowned before snickering, raising a doubtful eyebrow. “What, you interested? You don’t even enjoy regular parties, hermit.”

Ellie’s jaw dropped slightly in offence, letting out a scoff before taking a sip of her coffee — still scalding hot on her tongue. “Excuse me. I’d be there strictly on business. I heard it’s… I was told I should go.” She explained. Dina’s smirk deepened, eyes lowering into slits.

“Who is she?”

“Why do you assume this is about a girl?” She rolled her jewelled eyes, before glancing around the cafe just incase anyone was listening to her pathetic segue into talking about you.

“Because last time I suggested you come with me and Jesse you nearly threw a textbook at my head.” Dina argued, making Ellie sit back in her seat, looking away in defeat as she crossed her arms over her light grey hoodie.

“She’s got a boyfriend. So it doesn’t matter. Just said it would be good for business and… the customer is always right, so I’ve been told.” Ellie rushed out, Dina’s shoulders dropping with a pitying look.

“Oh Ellie. Why put yourself through that?”

“She’s bi — okay stop. This isn’t about her. I was just asking. Fuckin’… forget it.” Ellie flipped the page of her notes now, going to scribble down what Dina had written to get her mind off the conversation.

“Alright, alright.” Her friends held up her hands. “Defensive.”

Ellie didn’t see Louis much from that point on. Same time, every week — you would be on her doorstep. Ellie wasn’t sure if it was just out of convenience, or maybe you had wanted to see her. You had the same spritely, sunshine attitude each time you stepped into her dorm — lighting it up with your smile and your pretty dresses. The auburn haired dealers heart was beginning to ache in a painfully familiar way. An unrequited crush, a girl she couldn’t have. She wished she could say this was the first time she’d crushed on a girl with a boyfriend — but that would be a lie.

Each time you left, the giddiness would fade out into a prickly, warm and uncomfortable anger settling in at the pit of her stomach. Occasionally, you’d let slip the way Louis treat you — and if you didn’t say it, she could tell by the look on your face when his name would come up. Your classes were stressing you out, hence needing her weed to unwind in the first place, and your boyfriend was doing nothing to ease your anxiety, instead choosing to go out and get wasted with his friends each night. You deserved better, and she knew it wasn’t her place to say but shit, it was killing her. You were killing her. She could treat you better.

From outside the frat house, she could hear music, laughter, and water splashing from down the street. Ellie stood with Dina and Jesse, already regretting her decision.

“Fuck this. I’m turning around.” Ellie attempted to swivel, but Jesse grabbed her arm.

“No you’re not. You’re here to sell, remember? Got a friend with money, said he’d pay you good.” He gave her a light shove towards the door, Dina rolling her eyes at the two’s antics. Ellie felt overdressed, wearing her short sleeved blue worn denim shirt unbuttoned over a wife beater and shorts with her Converse, pockets stuffed with pre-rolls gifting her that usual marijuana infused smell that followed her around that said ‘Hey everyone! I’m a dealer!’ Upon stepping out into the backyard, it was clear what kind of party it was. The sun was still shining, and people seemed pretty drunk already — jumping off the low roof and into the pool, girls on the outskirts squealing in their bikinis. The floor was practically vibrating with the bass from a Drake song and the sun was sizzling the back of Ellie’s neck — recipe for a headache, she thought. She’d sell her shit, and get out.

She knew you’d be here. In the back of her mind she knew. And yet, her heart still damn near thudded out her chest when you were suddenly right in front of her, arms extended with a big toothy grin. Ellie had almost panicked, not ready for the confrontation. She hadn’t even gotten herself a drink yet, hadn’t even smoked yet and here you were. You were wearing a white bikini and it looks so pretty against your soft skin. She was looking at your tits again.

Ah, shit.

“Ellie! M’so happy you came! I didn’t think I’d ever see you at one of these!” You all but squealed, throwing your arms around her neck and pulling your body taut against hers. Ellie didn’t have to look at Dina and Jesse to know that their eyebrows were practically in their hairline, taking in the scene in front of them. Your bikini top was damp still clearly having taken a dip in the pool earlier, along with the ends of your hair and she felt the wet triangles pressing damp spots into her own chest, your tits pressed up against her. You even had the nerve to let out a happy little ‘mmph’ moan as your body collided with hers. Were you really that happy to see her? God, if I had a dick right now, it would be rock fuckin’ hard. Thank fuck I don’t, Ellie thought— eyes opening again, not realising that she had squeezed them shut to suppress a moan when she’d hugged you back.

“Uh, yeah! Told you I’d consider it.” She tried to play it cool when she pulled back, taking in your giggly expression. You didn’t let go of her arm as you pulled away, and a waft of alcohol drifted through to Ellie’s nose, suddenly helping her understand the situation a little better. You were pretty drunk, but where was your boyfriend? Ellie scanned behind you, searching for his brunette mop only to be met with several dozens of them. Great. She felt a spike of anger in her chest again, violently protective. Who just leaves their girl wandering around in a bikini, drunk, at a frat party? “Wheres your little boyfriend?” Her expression flattened out, and she caught herself. She didn’t mean for it to come out like… that. Luckily, you were drunk enough to not notice the bitterness in her tone.

“Louis? Oh— uh…” Your bottom lip stuck out as you spun around on your tiptoes to see over heads, scanning the yard for him before spinning back with a shrug. You dropped back down onto the balls of your feet and your tits bounced in Ellie’s peripheral vision. “Who knows.” You giggle, eyes jumping to Ellie’s two friends, silently watching with amused smirks.

“Oh, uh— these are my friends. Dragged me along here. Dina,” She pointed. “And Jesse.” He gave you a little wave.

“Hi!” You chirped with an adorable little wave, before telling them your own name. “I’m not usually this…uh—”

“Drunk?” Ellie leant forward quietly with a smirk, like it was a secret just between the two of you. You giggled, turning back to her, introductions long forgotten as your face morphed into a theatric pout, blown out puppy dog eyes and all.

“Who says I’m drunk? Maybe I’m just really friendly.” You practically pur, suggestiveness dripping off your tone as your hand pulled her by her arm just that little bit closer, soft fingertips over her tattoo. Just as Ellie scrambled for an answer — your name was called in a familiar voice. Louis.

“Babe, there you are.” He sounded irritated, and Ellie straightened her back, jaw squaring ever so slightly. Be friendly, Ellie. He’s a customer — she remind herself. A shitty one, but he still pays you.

“Oh…” He took Ellie in, eyes jumping over her attire before glancing back at you. She just admit, she did look violently lesbian that day — and the body language between her and his girl wasn’t looking all too great to fresh eyes. “Hey.”

You reluctantly let go of Ellie’s arm, which didn’t go unnoticed by the brunette boy.

“I was just catching up with Ellie!” You grinned, and God — were you aware of just how flirtatious you looked batting your eyelashes up at her like that? In front of your boyfriend?

“Yeah, I see that.” Louis’ eyes didn’t leave Ellie’s, which of course she took as a competition without even thinking. She took a step closer, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. She stood around 5’7. Taller when she wore boots. Taller if she fixed her posture. He wasn’t much taller than her, so she pretty much met his eye. Her heart skipped a few beats knowing you were watching her, but she held his gaze anyway— tilting her chin up a little. “Thanks for looking after my girl.” He spoke, which almost made Ellie want to laugh.

“Any time.” Eye to eye, the smirk that tugged at her lips held more meaning and the two of you knew it. Oh, she’d look after you alright. Louis’ eyes flickered away, glancing over at Dina and Jesse before back to her, stepping away and putting an arm around your shoulder.

“Come watch me play beer pong?” He spoke to you and you shrugged happily, taking the drink out of his hand and sipping. The freckled dealer couldn’t help but briefly think about how if you were with her she would have cut you off by this point, wrapping an arm around your waist and telling you that you’d had enough to drink, maybe suggest grabbing you a water. As he lead you away, you craned in his hold to wave at Ellie, who waved a few fingers back— watching closely. It was a casual crush before, but now it was on. She didn’t like Louis’ smugness, nor his general attitude or the way he was neglecting you. She had to take you and leave him with nothing. No, Ellie. You’re being like him. She’s not a piece of meat. But she knew the protectiveness didn’t stem from that. Did she think about you sexually? Yeah. But she could give you more than that. You were a sweet girl, and you should be treated as such.

“That was tense.” Dina raised her eyebrows, breaking the auburn haired girls concentration, her gaze snapping back to her friends.

“Oh, uh — he’s fuckin’… weird. I dunno. I give him my shitty weed.” She shrugged it off, looking over her shoulder once more to watch you disappear inside.

“I get it now, though. She’s a total smoke show.” Dina dropped her hand onto Ellie’s shoulder who sighed, shaking off the whole interaction.

“Whatever. I need a drink.” Ellie rolled her eyes, stepping away.

“She was hot.”

“Jesse, it’s okay when I say it. Not when you say it.”

“What? You just called her a smoke show! You’ve never called me that.”

Ellie left the bickering couple behind to find a beer, needing something cool and alcoholic to wind her down. Why was she getting so possessive over someone that wasn’t hers? You were making her feel like a creep, and she didn’t like that. Ellie did not catch feelings easily, despite her past mistakes. So like… what the fuck?

She didn’t see you for two weeks.

Maybe you’d realised you shouldn’t be giving her the eyes. Maybe Louis stepped up his game, who knows. Neither of you had even purchased any weed, and it was approaching exam season so Ellie knew you were stressed. But did she know? Was it presumptuous of her to ‘know’ how you feel?Just based off several occurrences and conversations when you’d come to her dorm to pick up? She tried to shake the feeling of you, your skin grazing hers and your pretty eyes staring up at her — and it was actually working. Maybe time does heal everything. Until of course, she went to the library and the clocks reversed on themselves.

She had to admit, she was falling a little behind in her work. She had gotten so preoccupied in selling that she had almost forgotten to be, well… a student. Her backpack was making her shoulder sore so she switched it to the other as she wandered through the building, fairly quiet for a Tuesday. She felt a pit of irritation bud inside her when she saw someone sat in the seat she wanted, the one that was away from everyone else in the library. She note the pink laptop case, the Hello Kitty stickers on the water bottle, the bracelets on the protruding arm. Oh, it was you.

Ellie was planning to walk on by. You’re here to do work, not flirt or get yourself involved in some kind of sapphic shenanigan. Your head was on the desk, and she figured you had fallen asleep — which almost made her smile fondly before she caught herself. Not yours, Ellie. As she stepped away however, she heard a sniffle. Then another. Ellie froze, willing herself not to do it. It’s not your responsibility Ellie, you can walk away and pretend you never saw. She pursed her lips, turning around anyway.

As she did so, you were lifting your head from the table, wiping your cheeks and nose of tears. You had this pitiful pout on your face, streaming eyes all pink and glossy and your nostrils damp in this oddly adorable way. Ellie still had time to creep away, but she didn’t. She couldn’t.

“You uh… you good?” She stood awkwardly, making you snap your head towards her in surprise. She didn’t miss the way your eyes widened slightly in embarrassment at seeing a familiar face in such a vulnerable moment.

“Oh — Ellie. Um, yes. I’m fine.” You tried, but when you held her doubtful gaze — your lip wobbled again.

“Okay.” Ellie sighed after a beat, pulling up a seat and dragging it to your small table. Yep, she was doing this. “Talk to me.” She spoke in a hushed tone. She was so gentle with her voice and her eyes and her general demeanour — something you weren’t so used to — it soothed you enough to calm you for a moment and you revelled in the unfamiliar but warm feeling she brought you.

“I don’t wanna bore you with it.” You shook your head with an demure chuckle. Ellie wanted to reach forward and wipe your tears away, her hands itched on the table in-front of her instead.

“We’re literally in the library. I promise you that nothing is more boring than my text-book.” She raised an eyebrow with the attempts of making you laugh. Instead, you watched her for a moment. Ellie could tell you were wondering why she was being so nice to you. Does she treat all her customers this way?

“It’s… stupid. Louis just…” You sigh, as if the mere mention of his name makes you cringe. “We’re not that serious. So… I don’t care what he goes off and does in his spare time,” Interesting, Ellie noted. “But he gets really mad. And when he gets mad he gets mean. I guess I just need thicker skin.” Your voice cracked.

“Or you need to be with someone who’s not an asshole.” Ellie snipped before she got the chance to stop herself. Your eyes met hers again, a little wide in shock. “Sorry.” She closed her eyes, collecting herself. You blinked and two fat tears rolled down your cheeks.

“It’s… okay.” You whispered, playing with your bracelet. A silence sat between you two, just the sound of quiet shuffling in the library and your sniffs.

“Look, don’t let him get to you. You don’t… deserve that.” She shook her head and you nodded slowly, accepting. It was as if Louis were purposely giving her more reason to dislike him, and it was getting harder to hide her distaste for him. Snide comments were slipping out more frequently, Shit — she could barely even contain her facial expressions when his name was mentioned. Something had to be done soon, because she didn’t know how much ‘pretending’ she had left in her. Thankfully, the two of you seemed to have developed a bit of a friendship — so she felt less guilty about bashing your boyfriend, as you seemed understanding due to his often unlikeable ways.

“You done here soon?” Ellie looked around at the library. You wiped your cheek, hitting save on your laptop and shrugging.

“Didn’t really have any work to do, just didn’t know where to go.” You pout sadly, making Ellie have to dig her nails into her seat this time so that she didn’t lean forward and kiss it off you.

“Y’wanna smoke? On me. You need cheering up.” She stood up, swinging her backpack back on, studying long forgotten. You looked up at her hopefully, a glint of reluctance in your eye. You didn’t know why it felt wrong, you weren’t technically doing anything wrong. Just two friends hanging out, right? Louis wouldn’t know that you’re attracted to her. You wasn’t even sure if Louis remembered that you were bisexual for Gods sake, despite telling him a whole bunch of times.

“Really? I can pay you Ellie…” Your eyebrows knit together, and she was already shaking her head.

“My treat. I don’t like seeing pretty girls cry. Makes me wanna cry. You want me to cry?” She joked, pointing at herself in disbelief. She felt relief at the giggle that made its way out your throat, covering your mouth as to not disturb the other library goers. Pretty girls. The words echoed around your head until your face was hot before it dropped into your stomach and made a nest there.

“Okay.” You agreed after a moment. What harm could it do? Louis was an asshole, and the guilt began to slip away as you stood up — remembering all the nasty things he’d said to you.

“Alright, good.” Ellie grinned, turning her face away for a moment so maybe you wouldn’t see how excited she was. You did.

_

“Thats a terrible first high story.” You giggled, taking a draw from the joint.

“What? Fuck you let’s hear yours then!” Ellie gaped, leaning forward from her seat on her bed to take the joint from you as you exhaled. You bit back your smile, letting your pink, watery eyes sail off in thought at you recalled your first time smoking.

“Kay, so… I was 17.” You staged dramatically, widening your eyes slightly as she smirked at your theatrics, leaning back with her eyes glued to you. If you weren’t so blazed, maybe you’d feel nervous under her simmering gaze. “Best friends brother let us smoke some in the backyard with his friends. I tried to play it cool, but I smoked too much and start laughing and I couldn’t stop. Like — it was painful, and I was scared because I couldn’t stop laughing. And they were all looking at me like what the fuck… so I went inside, tried to calm myself down and I threw up on the carpet. Like a distressed cat.” You pouted lightheartedly as Ellie chuckled along with your story.

“Threw up? How strong was the weed? Damn.” She laughed and you shook your head.

“It might have been the shots we’d done before hand to calm our nerves. Bad idea.” You cringed and she nodded, eyes still piercing into you as her laughter died down.

“That might’ve been it, yeah.”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as she brought the joint to her lips once again, sucking in as she inhaled the pungent smoke. Ellie always got this confidence about her when she smoked. Well — she always had this slightly cocky demeanour about her, but for the most part it was an act. A need to protect herself. A defence mechanism that helped her get by — being a dealer was a social ass job. But smoking made that feeling real. She knew that was bad, relying on weed for real confidence and all, but hey — she’ll take what she can get.

“How you feeling? Any better?” She tested the waters, almost sorry she brought it up when you remembered Louis’ existence, expression melting a little into one of slight disappointment. One that said ‘Oh yeah… him.’ Like you’d forgotten for a moment.

“I guess. Not gonna let it bother me like you said. I don’t have the energy.” You shrugged, tearing your gaze away to study your baby pink manicure instead. Ellie scoffed out a little chuckle, finally stubbing out the joint. The noise attracted your attention and you met her analytical stare.

“Can I… ask what you see in that guy? Not judging just… curious.” She held her hands up in defence, but you didn’t exactly jump to his rescue. Infact it took you a moment to think about it.

“I don’t…” You stop yourself from saying ‘I don’t know’, your pride still burning despite the weed letting your guard down. “He’s… nice most of the time. Kinda guy your parents want you to bring home. He’s not as bad as he seems around other people. I guess he makes me feel wanted when we’re together?” You consider, but the way you say it makes Ellie think that you don’t even fully believe it. “I think… it was gonna be just sex. When I first met him anyway, but if I’m being totally honest the sex isn’t worth it on its own so I dunno… I thought I’d feel more fulfilled by a commitment, you know?”

Ellie was delighted, to be honest. It was music to her ears. You were just spewing about how unfulfilled you were, and she was starting to feel more and more confident that she could convince you that there was a bigger and better world out there. She laughed, openly — letting the joy of the moment go to her head for a minute.

“Oh that’s funny?” You giggled back, chucking a small brown sentimental looking teddy bear at her from her bed. You pursed your lips and she could tell despite your laughter you were knocked slightly insecure by her reaction.

“A little.” She looks off to the side. You want to chuck something else at her but there’s nothing to throw.

“Why?” You push. You know why.

“Your boyfriend can’t fuck.” Her stomach tensed as another laugh bubbled up and you rolled your eyes theatrically, pushing yourself up just so you can dramatically change your position to face the other way on the bed, arms crossed and brow creased.

“Not opening up to you again.” You push out and she nudges you gently with her foot, a more sympathetic (yet equally amused) expression still at the surface.

“No, I’m sorry. Go on.” She waved her a hand a little in the smoky room, nudging you again with her sock covered toe.

“Thats it! There’s nothing else to it. My boyfriend can’t fuck and it sucks. I hate everything.” You complain, not daring to face her. She can’t help but burst out laughing again, the back of her head leaning back to rest on the wooden headboard as she runs a hand over her eyes, shielding herself from the bright dorm light, and you. She lets out an ‘ahhh’ at the end of her outburst.

She hears you whine her name, and she takes more pity on you this time purely because you sound so cute.

“Alright uh— tell me what he’s doing wrong. I’ll give you pointers to give to him so he can fix his shit.” She tries suddenly, as if just being struck by the idea — and she feels you slowly look at her. She pushes her chin down to her chest, looking at you now as she removes her hand from her eyes. You blink at her a couple of times, still pretty, still high as a kite.

You inhale through your nose, eyes drifting off in thought as you turn back towards her, invested, tucking your feet beneath your ass. You hum, coming up blank. “I don’t know. I feel like… you either got it or you don’t, you know? Sex is… emotional. Well, it should be. To him it’s just… getting off.” You shrug, opting to pick at a loose thread on her grey bed throw than look at her. The smirk is still dying on her lips like the slither of sunlight resting on water at the culmination of a sunset. She takes a little longer to think, brain fogged by her high.

“So… okay.” She pushes her palms into the bed to sit up a little more. “What do you like? I don’t really pin you as someone who… wants to be in control.” She analyses, watching you carefully for a reaction. She notices the flick up of your eyebrows and guesses — correct.

“With him there’s no… no one is in control. It’s not one person calling the shots or any kind of dynamic it’s just… we just fuck and that’s it.” You sound sad this time, like bringing the conversation to forefront was making you realised just how unhappy you were.

“Do you cum?” She asks abruptly, and you nearly choke on your own saliva. You think it catches her off guard too, because she looks away from you for a moment and itches her head before deciding fuck it, and goes back to staring. You bite your lip. Well there was that one time, you were on your back — Louis on top, you had a hand pressed between the two of you, rubbing your clit in quick sloppy circles as he got busy. Your eyes were closed. Did you cum? Kind of? Your eyes were closed. You were somewhere else. Somewhere softer and warmer, and it didn’t smell like beer and sweat. You shake your head, no. It was the closest time though, but Louis got all hostile about you touching yourself during sex. Said it was insulting, that you undermined him. You shook off the memory.

“No?” She whispers, eyebrows raised to the high heavens as if she just couldn’t fathom having sex and not making her partner cum — because that’s exactly what she was doing. She felt that hot tingling anger again in her chest, but it was dulled out by the weed — leaving her with just a light irritation at the back of her throat. “Thats fucked up.”

“Is it? I mean… orgasms take time. Doesn’t just happen in five minutes… that can get exhausting.” You defend, and you’re not sure why. You both know there’s no excuse.

“Nah.” She sniffs, not quite bothered to begin on how wrong you are. She switches the subject slightly instead. “So let me guess, missionary everytime?”

Your eyes widen, pressing your fingers over your lips to stop the childish giggle from bursting out. Ellie’s eyes widen too, realising how, well — down bad she was acting. She felt like a teenage boy on Snapchat playing truth or dare asking an uninterested girl if she’d ever send nudes before.

“Uh— fuck, you don’t have to answer that. Just making conversatio—”

“Most of the time. I think…” You decide to share something to make her feel less invasive, not wanting the conversation to end. You actually enjoyed getting to talk someone about this. “I think I’d feel good on top, maybe. But, hmm. How do I put this?” You thought. You looked at her for a moment and she gazed back, waiting on you to continue. Her breath caught in her throat when you crawled up toward her. “Lay back, please?” It was a request, not a command — and Ellie thought she might be dreaming when you straddled her with a frustrated expression.

You settled, and she was hyper aware of the feeling of your pillowy ass dropped down onto her thighs over her warm crotch.

“Okay, say I’m here. In this position.” You explain as well as you can, and when you give a few demonstrative bounces on her phantom cock her hands instinctively land on your hips to steady you. Fuck. Fucking shit. You don’t even seem to notice, or care. “This,” You point at your position. “Is me being in charge and… I don’t want that. It— it doesn’t get me off. I don’t wanna feel like I’m dominating them.” You whisper the last part like you’re telling her a secret at a girly sleepover, and she catches herself grinning before she scrambles, running over what you just said in her brain.

“Wait. Nah, that’s…” She adjusts herself slightly sheepish because she can feel herself blushing. Be cool, Ellie. Be dominant. “Thats bull. It doesn’t matter what position you’re in, it’s about how you make them feel.” She shrugs, and when you continue to stare at her, pink, glossy wide eyes— she carries on, you requiring more explanation. “If you’re on top working overtime, he should be telling you what a good job you’re doin’. How pretty you look doin’ it.” Her voices rasps in the way it does when she gets horny and she hopes she’s not giving herself away. Your mind goes a little blank, succumbing to the daydream of receiving that kind of praise. It makes your skin feel clammy. Louis isn’t below you in your daydream. Your freckled friend breaks your trail of thoughts. “And,” She’s smug now, and raises her knees behind you, planting her feet down on the bed and thrusting upwards a few times making you bounce a little, gripping her tighter. “Doesn’t matter if you were on top. I could still be the one fucking you. Just like this.”

You pause, only because you’re frozen in fear that she can feel the sudden floodgates open between your legs— praying to every God imaginable that you don’t leave some kind of pathetic wet patch on her. She thinks you’ve frozen at what she’s said.

“Uh— I mean Louis. Louis could still be the one— yeah.” She shrugs off, squeezing your hips with her warm fingers and you’re suddenly aware of your compromising position again, shaken from a dream. You slide off her quickly, bringing your knees to your chest and your back to the cool wall beside her bed. You were not a cheater. It doesn’t matter that the two of you didn’t kiss, or fuck, or whatever — what would have happened if Louis had walked in and seen you in your very gay dealers lap, pretending to have sex? You were not a cheater.

Ellie’s mouth was agape, like she wanted to say sorry but just couldn’t find it in her to feel sorry enough to say it. Her eyes were worried however, worried she’d made you uncomfortable or pushed it too far.

“I should… I shouldn’t stay. It’s getting late and—” You started looking for your bag with your laptop in it, where did you put it again?

“I’m sorry I— I didn’t mean to be weird. That was… I made you feel—” Her tone was apologetic now.

“No, no. It’s not that. I’m just hungry and I get weird when I’m… when I haven’t eaten. You’re fine. I mean, you were fine. Nothing weird just… friends hanging out, right?”

It hurt her, but Ellie nodded anyway. You were going back to him. It always ended this way.

“‘Kay. You got everything? You gonna be okay getting back? You’re still high.” Ellie stood, awkwardly dawdling behind you as you scooped up your purse. “I can walk you back—” She started patting her pockets for her key card.

“It’s okay, really. It’s still light outside and it’s a short walk. I think I need just… fresh air and quiet.” You avoid her eyes, but turn to face her as you back towards her door.

“Okay.” She was disappointed. “I hope you feel better now, ‘n stuff.” Your hand pushed the cold metal handle down and the hallway of her building was just as muggy, but it felt like a relief when some of the smoke from her dorm was released.

“I do.” You could look now, standing in the hallway as she didn’t move past her doorway. The distance made it safe enough to look at her pretty eyes without feeling you were going to do something bad. “Thank you Ellie. I owe you one.” Your brows knit together sincerely. Sure, I have a favour I need — break up with your boyfriend.

“Sure.” Ellie left it there, shook her head like it was nothing. “Text me and just… let me know that you got in okay. Yeah?” She continued to speak to you as you backed up down the hallway, awkwardly fumbling with your bag. It was wrong to let a girl walk back home high and alone. She thought about you walking around drunk and alone at that frat party. She was Louis this time.

“Will do. See you, Ellie.” Her name sounded like music when you said it. She had a new favourite song.

Your dorm was cooler, refreshing to be in when you got back. Your first mission was to look in the mirror and you sighed almost angrily seeing how flustered and a little dishevelled you look. You wanted to take the clothes off that touched her, still stinking of weed. You wanted food in your belly to flush her out. Flopping onto your back on your bed you pull your phone out, ignoring the texts and calls from your boyfriend — all to send a message to your dealer.

‘got back safe, thanks again😊’ You regret the emoji, but the Read: 5:13PM was immediate so there was no time to regret it for long. Three bubbles and then ‘Good’. You stare at the text, and then stare past the phone. You didn’t want to answer Louis right now. He could wait until tomorrow.

part two

#ellie williams x reader #dealer!ellie #ellie williams au #ellie williams fic #ellie tlou2 fic

[videovamptramp]

you aren’t mine to lose

// you’ve had a crush on ellie since you were kids. you two have always been best friends; until she gets a girlfriend who ironically hates you. //

warnings: pinning, angst, stoner/dealer!ellie, modern day au, i can never write anything happy, this isn’t proof read so my grammatical errors may need a warning???

(you love me, but you’ll never love me as much as you love her)

ellie has been your best friend since you were both 13. throughout high school, the two of you only grew closer. your mother often joked that you were both conjoined at the hip. everywhere ellie was, you were, and vice versa. your crush on ellie started a little after the first year of high school. the brunette has always been really nice to you; even if she was awkward, and didn’t understand very many social cues… ellie was your favorite person in the whole wide world.

your crush on ellie only got worse as the two of you got older. you even found yourself following her after graduation to the university of jackson. now it was your first year of college, and the two of you were still the best of friends. that is, until ellie got a girlfriend. in all honesty, you were a depressed wreck when ellie first started talking to tiffany. she was a blonde with blue eyes, and had a body that could stop a trucker from a mile away. she was perfect in every single way, and it was obvious why ellie liked her. it was also pretty obvious that tiffany hated you. ellie was, of course oblivious to the tension between you and the psych major, but you were pretty sure tiffany only hated you because she knew how you felt about ellie.

but that didn’t discourage you from keeping your friendship with the brunette you’ve come to love so much. you never expected ellie to return your feelings. in fact, that’s the main reason you’ve been so supportive of her relationship with tiffany from the beginning. sure, it made you sad and sometimes you didn’t want to talk to ellie, because all she’d talk about was tiffany… but you still tried really hard to text her and hang out with her. maybe it wasn’t as much as you two used to, but still, you were trying and that’s all that matters, right?

“so are you gonna be at jesse’s party tonight?” your roommate dina inquires curiously, as she folds some of her clothes. she pulls you out of your ellie-induced thoughts, causing you to pry your eyes away from the textbook you hadn’t been paying any attention to. “um, no. i have to study for my english seminar. mr. lydon always calls on me.” you half lie, and dina rolls her eyes playfully. “that’s because you practically know everything already. he’s impressed and probably gonna offer you a position as a student teacher next year.” she admits, and your eyes light up at the thought. you were majoring in english, because it’s always been your dream to be an english teacher or professor.

“you really think he’ll ask me? yara’s super smart and she’s been talking about wanting to be a student teacher since the year started.” you point out, while dina waves dismissively after putting some of her shirts away. “he’s definitely gonna ask you, y/n. you two are always talking about star wars and your weird love for the semi colon.” she taunts, making you blush in a bit of embarrassment. “it’s just… it’s a pause without a coma or period— never mind, you wouldn’t understand. science geek.” you tease your roommate back, causing her to gasp in mock offense as she reaches for a pair of folded socks, tossing them right at your face.

you giggle, and as your laughter dies down, dina flashes you a look. “you should really come tonight though. ellie’s gonna be there.” she continues to pick on you, but you can hear the slight seriousness in her tone. you groan, “which means tiffany is also gonna be there.” you counterpoint. you say the blonde’s name as if it’s venomous, and dina shakes her head, the annoyance on her face clear as water. “ugh, i hate her. i swear, if she tries to psycho analyze me because i had a bad day one more time, i’m going to punch her and ruin that nose job her daddy paid for.” dina states in a tone too serious to be a joke, and you flash her a look of surprise before you both burst into a fit of laughter.

“still, you should go with me tonight. word on the street is ellie and her have been arguing a lot lately.” dina confesses, and this seems to spike your interest. you quirk a brow in your roommates direction, ellie hasn’t told you anything about her and tiffany fighting. then again, you’ve barely been texting ellie about anything other than plans for group hangouts or memes. “what are they fighting about?” you ask, unable to hide the fact that you’re suddenly intrigued. dina shrugs, “i don’t know, but it seems pretty bad. i heard tiffany yelling the other day. like at the top of her lungs yelling. i think the dorm rep had to get involved.” she explains, and your eyes widen a bit.

why didn’t ellie tell me anything?

“look, we can go with our matching flare jeans!” dina holds up the pair of black jeans she had just washed; they were your favorite pair because they had hearts on them. you shake your head, offering her a small smile. “fine. i’ll go; but if i get anything less than a eighty on tomorrow’s assignment, i’m blaming you.” you warn her playfully, and the grin on dina’s face makes your smile widen. you close the book you had long forgotten about, and get up; deciding to pick out your outfit for tonight. you settle on the flare jeans and a black furry sweater that’s too small to even keep you warm. your hair is still a bit damp from your shower earlier, but you let down both of your braids anyways; allowing the semi-curly hair to fall down. after putting on some mascara and lipgloss, you aimlessly scroll through tiktok while you wait for dina to finish getting ready.

by the time the raven haired girl is finished, jesse is texting the group chat, letting you both know the kegs are full and ready. apparently ellie was supplying the weed, and one of jesse’s friends was bringing bottles of liquor along with some packs of beer. “you should text ellie and tell her you’re gonna come.” dina suggests, as you both make your way out of your dorm hall, stepping out into the horrid cold. “so… you and jesse…” you trail off, a tiny smirk etched onto your lips. you can see dina blushing under one of the lampposts, causing you to chuckle. “jeez, d, you really like this guy huh?” you question and her blush deepens; her cheeks turning crimson red.

“he’s sweet… i know we just met earlier this year, but i feel like i really know him. you know? like i know his heart.” dina explains, and you smile brightly. “wow, i never thought i’d hear you talking about someone in such a sappy way.” you poke fun at her, but your friend can hear the softness in your voice and see the fondness in your eyes. dina grins, “yeah, well, who knows, he might get lucky tonight.” she half jokes and you gasp, throwing your head back while releasing a howling laugh.

when you get to the frat house, there’s already hoard of people there. the music is loud, but not too loud, so for that you’re sort of grateful. jesse finds you both a minute after you two walk in; he has a large smile on his face and his varsity jacket hanging off his back. “hello ladies.” he says, his smile more directed to dina. “hey jesse, is ellie here yet?” you ask curiously, trying to sound nonchalant, but he can see right through you. he nods, “yup! she’s in the back rolling a few j’s. you can head back there and say hi if you want. she’s alone.” he clarifies, and you smile gratefully. “thanks! i’ll see you guys in a minute. save me a dance, party girl.” you tell dina, and she nods. “you better come find me to dance!” she warns, and you giggle as you begin to make your way to the back of the frat house.

the only bedroom downstairs is usually used for seven minutes in heaven, or for movie nights. when you push your way into the bedroom the room is full of smoke, and you spot ellie sitting on the bed. she’s wearing a buttoned up flannel shirt, and those old faded jeans that you love on her. she’s staring out of the closed window, seemingly deep in thought; her short brown hair barely reaches the nape of her neck, and you can’t help but stare for a minute as you lean against the doorframe. she takes another drag of the joint, inhaling the smoke and keeping it in her throat before releasing it. “hey there.” you pull her out of her thoughts, causing her to snap her head in your direction.

ellie’s eyes change as soon as they land on you. her face expression goes soft. “hey. what are you doing here?” she questions, her voice light but clearly confused. “dina convinced me to come.” you explain shortly as you walk in, inching closer to ellie. you don’t seem to notice the way those pale green eyes seem to roam up and down your body as you stand in front of her. she holds the joint out, offering you some. ellie knows you love to smoke, you’re not a drinker, but you’ve always been a smoker. growing up, you were the only one who was always down to get high with ellie. it was, shamefully her favorite thing. getting high alone or with anyone else wasn’t the same for her.

you gladly take it, placing the joint between your lips before fixing your sweater, and taking the lit joint out of your mouth. you hold the smoke while you hand it back to ellie, offering her a cute little smile that makes something in her chest clench. you cough a little after exhaling the smoke, and it makes her chuckle. “good?” she asks, and you nod, “what strain as that?” you wonder out loud, “cherry chem.” she answers vaguely, placing the joint between her own lips as she reaches into her backpack, retrieving a little wooden box. you watch inquisitively as she opens the box and reveals a bunch of freshly rolled joints.

“here.” she says as she pulls out five and hands them to you. you shake your head, “no, it’s okay—“ she cuts you off, “you don’t wanna get too drunk tonight, do you, princess?” she asks, the old nickname causing you to blush under her droopy, hooded eyes. you reluctantly accept them, knowing ellie is right. you always get too drunk when you don’t smoke in order to level yourself out. “thanks els.” you thank her with that god damn smile on your face, and ellie feels as if the sun is shining on her face. you make her feel so warm.

“sit down.” she says, handing you the nearly finished joint, as she pats the empty space right beside her. you scrunch your nose in disgust, “no way, i saw joan sanders come in here with tommy last month. i know what happens on this bed.” you says in a prissy tone that causes ellie to laugh. “such a priss.” she mutters as she pulls you by your hips and causes you to fall onto the bed right next to her. you gasp, pushing her arm roughly. “ellie!” you squeal in disgust, but you get a whiff of her cologne that causes your head to go fuzzy. your face is hot, and ellie is smirking at you in a way that causes the butterflies in your belly to repopulate.

“it’s almost finished.” you scowl, and ellie shrugs as she snatches the joint out of your hands, tossing it into the ashtray. “i’ll light another one. unless you got somewhere to be.” she raises a brow, and you shake your head, flashing her a puzzled look. “aren’t you supposed to be hanging out with tiffany tonight? you guys are always at every party together.” you point out, and you notice the way ellie tenses at the sound of her girlfriends name. her demeanor shifts as she reaches for another joint, and lights it.

“she’s with her friends tonight. you know ashley and miley?” she asks with clear disdain on her face. you nod, “i know of them. they’re on the cheer team right?” you respond with a question, and she merely nods. “yeah. she’s with them i think.” ellie mutters, and you go quiet for a minute. “dina told me you guys have been fighting lately...” you start, and ellie rolls her eyes. “… why didn’t you tell me anything?” you ask her, and she shrugs. “didn’t wanna bother you with my dumb ass relationship problems.” she mumbles, as she hands you the joint.

you throw her a look of surprise, “your problem are not dumb, ellie.” you say sternly, and she scoffs. “they are. she’s… she’s being stupid.” she murmurs, and you furrow your brows. you’ve never heard ellie speak negatively about tiffany before. if anything, whenever she’d bring the blonde up she’d have this dorky grin on her face. now she looks exhausted. “what happened?” you ask carefully, and ellie freezes. you’ve known each other for years and ellie tells you everything; yet she doesn’t want to tell you about the this. the more you think about it, the more you realize ellie’s never told you anything about her and tiffany fighting. not even once.

she seems to have put a wall up for the first time without you even noticing. have you really been pulling away that much, that you didn’t even notice something’s been going on with her? in your defense, you were only pulling away from her to protect your heart. you knew ellie could never want you the way you want her, and whenever you saw her with tiffany, it hurt.

she shakes her head refusing to tell you. “it’s nothing.”

your brows knit together, she’s never shut you out about anything. ellie’s even told you all of the embarrassing things about herself; she was an open book with no filter when it came to you… but right now it seemed like she didn’t want to tell you what the arguments between her and tiffany are about. the silence in the room is thick, and you can hear the muffled music coming from behind the door. you open your mouth to speak, but jesse rushes into the room, “hey ellie, dani wants to know if she can buy a few joints off you.” the dark haired boy states causing ellie to get up. “yeah, sure. come on, wanna get a drink?” ellie asks you. you nod, standing up and following the brunette and jesse out of the room.

there’s even more people here than there was when you first arrived, and as you check your phone, you realize you were with ellie for nearly thirty minutes. ellie reaches for your hand so she doesn’t lose you in the crowd, and you gladly take it. your stomach flips as soon as your skin meets hers, and she leads you over to the kitchen. jesse walks up to dani with you and ellie not far behind, and your eyes wander around the crowded area as ellie begins to make a deal with the basket ball player. ellie squeezes your hand when she’s done, and the smile she flashes you makes your knees weak.

“whatcha’ want to drink?” she asks you with that cute raspy voice that drives you crazy. “just a cranberry vodka, if you guys have any cranberry juice.” ellie’s sure you don’t mean to look up at her with those sexy lidded eyes, but you do and she finds her mouth going dry. “coming right up.” she winks at you, and nearly grimaces at how awkward she is. you giggle while she makes your drinks, the buzz from ellie’s weed barely now hitting you. you’re partially reminded of why you’ve been trying not to smoke; because whenever you’re high, ellie is all you can think about. it makes you sad knowing she’s probably thinking about making up with her girlfriend right now.

ellie hands you your drink first, before making her own. you take a sip, grimacing at the strong taste of alcohol, “ellie!” the girly voice nearly causes you to wince as tiffany bounces up to the brunette; wrapping her arms around the back of ellie’s neck. you don’t see the way ellie forces a smile because your eyes are now glued to the red drink in your cup. “hey babe.” ellie greets her girlfriend, and the term of endearment causes a pang of pain to linger in your chest. you take a swig of your drink, and ellie looks over at you apologetically. you flash her a small, reassuring smile yet she can see it isn’t your usual smile.

ellie wants to say something to you, but before she can, dani makes her way back to you both. “uh, hey y/n.” the basketball player greets you, and you gratefully find an excuse to pry your gaze off of ellie and tiffany. “hey dani. how did you do on mr. lyndon’s quiz yesterday?” you ask her, and ellie tries not frown as she notices the way the taller girls eyes wander over your body. “i did terrible! i can’t believe midterms are next week. i’m not ready.” the tall girl admits and amusement glints in your eyes as you look up at her. “i like your necklace, by the way.” she adds, complimenting the silver necklace dangling off your collar bone. you smile brightly, your fingers going to play with the necklace your mother gave you before you left to college. you and your sisters all have the same one.

“thanks. my mom got it for me when i turned eighteen. i like your jacket.” you pull on the ends of her varsity jacket, batting your eyes up at her, and tiffany frowns as you don’t notice that ellie’s hard gaze is fixated on you. tiffany definitely notices, and it causes her to scowl. “wanna go smoke?” dani asks, pulling a joint out of her pocket. you grin, but ellie intervenes. “i already smoked her out.” the brunette clarifies, locking eyes with the jock and flashing her a warning look that makes you frown. dani looks at you, ignoring ellie and smirking right at you. “wanna go for round two, princess?” she asks, and something in ellie’s stomach twists uncomfortably at the sound of dani calling you “princess”.

“sure. i’m always down to smoke.” you say, and you flash ellie a look that she doesn’t recognize before you wrap yourself around the jocks arm. ellie keeps her eyes on you as you disappear out of the kitchen with dani, “looks like dani is getting lucky tonight.” tiffany declares, pulling ellie out of her thoughts. if ellie weren’t so preoccupied with thinking about you and dani, she would’ve found that comment strange. but ellie is high and she isn’t thinking about anything other than you giving those eyes to dani walsh.

ellie’s face twists at the mere thought of you hooking up with the raven haired girl tonight. ellie can’t come up with a single reason why she feels so upset about it; you’re single after all, and dani is undoubtedly every girls type. she shakes her head, “no. y/n’s not that kind of girl.” ellie says more to herself than to her girlfriend. tiffany scoffs, “did you not see what i saw? your friend is totally into her.” tiffany says as she takes ellie’s cup and takes a swig. she makes a face, “ugh. cranberry? seriously, ellie? you know i hate cranberry.” she mutters in disgusts, and ellie flashes her a sheepish smile.

“sorry, it was y/n’s drink choice.” the brunette replies, and tiffany rolls her eyes. “what?” ellie asks, detecting the clear annoyance that came from her saying your name. “nothing.” tiffany mutters and ellie rolls her eyes, a wave of frustration washing over her. “seriously, what’s wrong? you look pissed.” ellie points out, and the shorter girl flashes her a sardonic expression. “oh, now you noticed? you’ve been so preoccupied with y/n tonight, you haven’t even talked to me!” she snaps, and ellie’s eyes widen. “what!? you’re the one who ditched me as soon as we got here to hang out with your friends! what do you want me to do? follow you around like a puppy all night?” ellie begins to raise her voice, losing her cool.

“no i don’t want that! i want you to care about me more than you care about y/n!” she shouts, and ellie shakes her head in bewilderment. “what the fuck is your problem with her?! y/n’s my best friend, and i love her! i love you too, but fuck, tiffany!” ellie is clearly losing all the cool inside of her body, if she was angry before she’s even angrier now. “but what?” the blonde challenges, crossing her arms and flashing ellie a stern look. ellie goes quiet, “say it.” tiffany adds demandingly, and ellie scoffs, “say what?” she mumbles, playing dumb. “what you’ve always known but never had the balls to admit. you love me, but you’ll never love me as much as you love her.” tiffany snaps, and ellie can only stare at her with inscrutable features etched onto her face.

the silence is telling, and it seems to give tiffany the only answer she needs. “i’m done coming second in this relationship, ellie. you have to tell me right now… do you love me more or her?” tiffany’s voice is harsh and up for no debates. ellie lets out a breathless chuckle, more so because she’s surprised at the absurd question. “are you serious?” she questions, her voice laced with pure disbelief. tiffany is staring at her as if ellie is the crazy one, and it just now hits ellie that you’ve been alone with dani for over fifteen minutes.

“i don’t have time for your shit tonight, dani. y/n’s cross faded and i’m not gonna let her go home with some sleaze from the basketball team, all because you’re jealous.” she hisses, as she turns around to walk away, but tiffany stops her by reaching out and grabbing her arm. ellie spins and around to face her girlfriend; her patience wearing thin. “i’m jealous!? ellie, look at you! you’re going crazy because y/n might hook up with someone else!” she exasperatedly snaps, and the words seem to knock some sense into ellie. she glances down at her shoes, a bit ashamed; “look me in the eye and tell me right now that you’re not in love with her.” the shorter girl demands. ellie’s eyes lock with tiffany’s piercing blue eyes, and all she can think about is you.

you and your smile. you and your laugh. the way you say her name, and how you remember everything she says. the tiny scar on your back nobody else knows about. the way your eyes light up when you’re excited…

ellie wants to say no. she wants to be a good girlfriend and assure tiffany that she’s in love with her and only her… but as she thinks about your soft eyes being directed at some jock looking to get “lucky”, ellie knows she can’t say it. tiffany lets out a scoff, shaking her head before loosening her grip on ellie’s wrist. “you can’t even say it! you can’t even look at me and lie about it!” tiffany pushes her finger into ellie’s chest, and ellie feels an overwhelming sense of guilt as she begins to calm down. her thoughts seem to rationalize but she knows she’s already fucked up. “tiff…” she trails off, and the cheerleader shakes her head, tears pooling in her baby blue eyes.

“just go get her before she leaves with dani.” tiffany sounds defeated, and a part of ellie is telling her to stay and fix things with tiffany, but there’s a loud voice in her head telling her to go and make sure you haven’t left with that other girl. ellie doesn’t say anything else as she walks out of the kitchen, leaving dani alone. she’s certain whatever was left of the relationship is now over, but she can’t seem to care. you’re the only thing on her mind as her gaze flitters all over the room in search for you. her eyes zero in on dina who is dancing with someone ellie barely knows; the brunette doesn’t think twice before interrupting.

“have you seen y/n? she’s with dani and she’s pretty faded. i wanna make sure she’s okay.” ellie rushes the words out, sounding like a nervous wreck. dina stops dancing for a moment, raising a brow, “uh, i just talked to y/n like four minutes ago, she seemed fine. she said her and dani were gonna smoke and maybe walk back to her dorm.” dina winks insinuatingly, and ellie’s heart falls into the pit of her stomach.

“shit… did they leave through the front or back?” ellie sounds apprehensive, and it causes a wave of confusion to wash over the raven haired girl. “the front i think… wait why does it matter?” dina questions, and ellie shakes her head. “because all dani wants to do is get in y/n’s pants.” ellie hisses, and dina raises her brows in slight shock at the sudden outburst. she watches ellie rush off, and before she can think about chasing after her best friend, jesse swoops in and pushes past the guy dina had been dancing with. “mind if i cut in?” jesse asks hopefully, and dina nods happily, quickly forgetting about you and ellie.

ellie goes out the front door of the frat house, and her eyes flicker around in search for you. when her eyes land on you, her stomach knots up as she sees you’re now wearing dani’s jacket and saying something that ellie can’t make out. her eyes widen and her mind races, as you two begin walking in the direction of the dorm rooms. ellie’s heart nearly stops beating, and it’s like her body has a mind of its own as she begins to rush over in your direction. “y/n wait!” she calls out and you stop in your tracks, spinning around at the sound of your best friends voice.

“ellie?” you sound confused; whenever her and tiffany get together during a party like this, you almost never see her till the next day. “is everything okay?” you ask as she stalks up to you. she has this unrecognizable look etched onto her face, “i just… i needed to talk to you—“ ellie cuts herself off when she sees the smile that was on your face drop. “is it tiffany? did you guys fight again?” you ask, clearly concerned. dani looks at you, then ellie, “i can give you two a minute of you want.” she tells you, and you offer her a grateful smile. “i’ll be right there.” you promise, and ellie hates how soft your gaze is when it’s directed at the jock.

dani offers you an annoyingly charming smile before walking a few feet away from you and ellie. “what’s wrong? what happened with tiffany?” you you ask her, and ellie shakes her head. “since when is dani your type?” she completely ignores your question, going straight for what’s been bugging her all night. you look taken back by the disdain in her voice, causing you to let out a breathless chuckle. “how is she not my type? she’s cute, and nice…” you trail off, and ellie blows a raspberry with her mouth. “so that’s all it takes for you to hookup with someone?” she practically interrogates you, causing you to frown.

“excuse me?” you respond, the offense in your tone clear as day. “what’s your problem? just because we’re hitting it off and i’m going to let her walk me back to my dorm, doesn’t mean i’m going to let her screw me, ellie!” you hiss, trying to keep your voice down in order for dani not to hear. the brunette scoffs, “yeah, sure, did you see the way you were looking at her? plus you’re wearing her fucking jacket, and she’s been smoking you out… she thinks she’s getting lucky tonight.” ellie sounds angrier than you’ve ever heard, and you can’t for the life of you figure out why. “it doesn’t matter what she thinks, ellie. she’s not getting lucky tonight unless i say so!” you snap.

“besides, why do you even care so much about what i do with dani!? shouldn’t you be up tiffany’s ass like you always are?!” you know you sound much harsher than you ever do, which is why ellie suddenly has this kicked dog-like expression on her face. “i-i don’t care! i just don’t think it’s cool how she started preying on you and trying to get you all high. she’s a sleaze!” ellie argues, and you roll your eyes. “yeah, well, that’s up for me to decide. i’ll see you tomorrow, ellie. when we’re both sober.” your voice is lower than before, and you flash her one last look before turning around and making your way over to dani.

ellie pathetically watches as you and dani begin to leave together, and her heart plummets right into her stomach. tiffany’s words from earlier are ringing in her head; “you love me, but you’ll never love me as much as you love her.” ellie stupidly realizes tiffany was right. she loves you more than she’s ever loved anyone… yet as she watches dani entwine her hand with yours before you both disappear in the direction of the dormitory, she realizes you aren’t hers to love. and you certainly aren’t hers to lose.

a/n(PLEASE READ): here’s a one-shot i wrote earlier this month, i just finished the next part of “i’m right over here, why can’t you see me”. it should be posted by christmas, and yes i will be tagging everyone who commented on it 🖤 - vamp

#ellie williams x reader jealous #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie x y/n #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x fem reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #fanfic #jealousy #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #dealer ellie angst #dealer!ellie angst #dealer!ellie #ellie williams angst #tlou #ellie williams x fem reader angst #ellie williams x y/n #jealous ellie williams x reader

[savannahsdeath]

hi savannah! i love ur writing a lot!! 😭

can u write something about reader getting high with ellie and.. you know how some people get high and horny? yeah. you can add more if you want, i’m not really good at writing ideas sorry!

- 🐻

DEALER!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

summary: you leave your little party with friends in order to visit your favourite dealer..

warnings: 18+!! weed n just smut

writers note: i have another bbf!dealer!ellie idea (the one i made a poll abt) but i still didnt write it and omg idk💔i swear itll be posted soon

you already smoked, quite a lot, but you and your friends agreed that's not enough. and since ellie, the best dealer in your college, likes you the most, you proposed you'll go for more.

and so you were walking through one of the biggest buildings in the campus, as close to the wall as possible, so if anything, you won't fall in the middle of the hallway, after the curfew.

you knocked on the door to her room, messier than anyone elses. you heard her swear under her breath, but she smiled as soon as she saw it's you. she softly, but firmly, dragged you inside, before anyone could notice your strange behaviour.

"look, i won't sell you anything." she immediately annouced, sounding almost disappointed.

you frowned, looking around and swinging your arms. "why not?"

"you had some already." she pointed at you, your red eyes and widened pupils. "plus, i don't trust your friends. i won't take any risks."

you smirked and playfully nudged her. "come on, i bet i'm the most responsible client you've ever had."

"maybe the prettiest one, but you're far from responsible." she shook her head with a shrug. "none of you knows when to stop."

you looked down, biting the inside of your cheek in thought, before catching her gaze again. "but you know. maybe you could-"

"no way." she cut you off with a chuckle.

you sighed and, without asking, sat on her couch, tapping your nails on your thighs, trying to come up with something.

she was visibly surprised by you - not only your visit, but the fact you still didn't leave. she said no, what else was there to talk about?

"look, you gotta give me a small amount, i'll take anything, i don't care." you replied, desperate.

you knew there's no convincing her, and you already felt the itch of a need you could barely suppress. she stared right through you, amused. your eyes already dilated. your hands shaking. the smell of her stash maddening.

you looked back at her and you knew that she was about to let you have it. but not because you asked. she was going to enjoy this.

"what if.. i'll give you one more." she smiled, rummaging through her drawers. "but you'll share it with me, not with them."

you pouted, raising your hands in confusion. "what do you mean?"

she held out a joint for you, but she moved it away as soon as you reached for it. "i mean, someone has to keep an eye on you. and i know how to, you said it yourself."

"but-"

you sighed and agreed. why not? no matter how she puts it, you knew you're going to enjoy her company, and she does have that good stuff.

"whatever you say, ellie." you replied, still pouty that you had to now share your hit. but you knew she's right, plus, you'd have to share it with all your friends otherwise.

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

your head was spinning and you were breathing harder. she laughed again as you coughed a little. her hand rested on your thigh, the couch you were sitting on surrounded by dirty clothes.

"feels good." you whispered.

you had weed in mind, but you realised it sounded like you were talking about her touch too late, after these words already escaped your mouth.

she looked at you with a smirk. "feeling good, huh?" her hand ran up your thigh a little more.

your mind was blown and you were way too high to figure out what to do. if that was her plan all along, it was working out perfectly.

you wanted more.

your head was clouded. you were giggling, giggling at yourself, giggling at the world. everything felt so funny and wonderful at once.

you wanted more.

you looked up at ellie and your eyes grow wide as you stared at her. she stared back at you for a few moments. you've never seen her like this.

no, that's not true. you've never felt her like this.

ellie smiled and moved a little closer to you. you could feel her presence and that's all there was.

you took another hit from the joint. and ellie was there to hold it as you did so.

you could feel her lips brush gently against your ear. you weren't sure what she was whispering. you just focused on how her hot breath tingled your neck.

she smiled. she knew exactly what's going to happen next, and she liked the fact that you could barely form any coherent thoughts, even though she wasn't much better, not at this point.

she took the joint from your lips as she looked up at you and smiled, not saying anything. she didn't need to.

she held the joint up and took a long, slow drag as you watched. sometning about it, about how the smoke drifted away when she exhaled, was just so attractive, you instinctively licked your lips. you focused on her soft breaths, making yours synchronize with hers, what helped you stay conscious.

she moved closer and you closed your eyes. you could feel her hair against your face, smell the scent of her hair.

as you opened your eyes, you realised that the world was spinning, and you and ellie were now on her bed. she had her mouth pressed up to yours.

you didn't know how long it's been going on for. maybe you just didn't care. but it felt good.

you gasped, right into her lips, as you noticed one of her hands is beneath your cotton panties. you didn't remember how it happened, but you were glad it got there. it moved synchronously to the rest of her body, but you figured out it was there just to test the waters as she started going down on you with her mouth without actually working with her fingers.

"you're even prettier when stoned." you giggled, not sure if you formed the sentence correctly, but basing on ellie's smile in response - it was understandable.

her tongue laid flat on the wet spot on your cotton underwear, making you realise your pants are on the floor. god, when did all of this happen? you didn't know there's a 'skip' button in real life, but at least you managed to come to your sense in the best moment possible.

"awh- do i really make you feel this way?" she chuckled against your clothed pussy. "i start to doubt you came here just because 'your friends picked you'.."

you hummed, twirling a strand of your hair around your finger. "you called me your prettiest client."

"and i don't take that back." she traced the hem of your panties, before sliding her fingers slightly down and caressing the outlines of your slit, barely visible through the soaked fabric. "mmh.. why does it matter now?"

"i'm just telling you- god." your hips uncontrollably raised, pressing against her hand. "just telling you, you shouldn't be surprised by this," you pointed at the surroundings of your lower stomach with your chin, "if you say things like that."

she finally, slowly took your underwear off, humming a little; "mhm". you weren't sure if it was supposed to be an answer for you, or an act of satisfaction at the view, but either one was fine.

she kissed your clit, pressing her tongue followed by her lips against it. the little touch had you moan, feeling a weird feeling of electricity starting from your core travel around your whole body. you didn't know if it was really that magic, or did the weed made you feel so much details.

she repeated this move a few times, each earning a moan or two from you. the knot you had in your head while trying to think of a way to make her sell you some more of her stuff was now in your stomach, loosening with every lick of her, now flattened, tongue. you tugged on the little bun she always had, pulling her closer to you with every small energy boost you got from time to time. you heard the sounds of your juices flow out, right to her mouth.

you squirmed under the bruising grip she had on your thighs, sometimes moving it to your lower stomach to gently press on it. when she did, you could see a spot in the shape of her hand, way lighter than the rest of your body, on the place she just left.

her eyes would sometimes look up at you, looking extremely innocent, what seemed weird compared to how her tongue fucked in and out of you.

ding!

you thought you heard sometning, but you quickly forgot about it, focusing back on ellie.

ding!

now, you were sure you heard something, but still didn't know what.

ding!

you saw your phone, laying on the floor near your pants, light up. your friends were spamming you, but your vision was all blurry and you didn't see anything. before the screen turned off again, you managed to notice one notification;

luccyy💞: idk about you, but for me, buying weed takes less than one hour

#⭑ ָ࣪ ۰ ꒰ 🐻 ꒱ ָ࣪ ۰⭑ #sav n anons ૮꒰ྀི⸝⸝> . <⸝⸝꒱ྀིა #reqs open #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #wlw smut #ellie williams smut #ellie smut #ellie williams x female reader #dealer!ellie williams x reader #dealer!ellie x reader #dealer!ellie williams #dealer!ellie #sav w anons ૮꒰ྀི⸝⸝> . <⸝⸝꒱ྀིა

[seattlesellie]

just thinking ab dealer ellie fucking u in the back seat of her beat up car, pink panties dangling off ur ankle as she grabs u roughly and turns u around so that ur ass is pushed up against her groin. leaving little kisses on ur neck as u whimper and moan ☹️☹️☹️I NEED HER

omfg having your back pressed up against her chest as she plays with your pussy and simultaneously grinds her crotch into your ass is like the best position ever <3 cause not only can she whisper dirty stuff into your ear, she can also pick up the joint, place it inside your quivering lips and make you smoke it 💗 just passing it from your mouth to hers, and when you start whining too much she takes a leisurely drag that’s smoke she blows to the side… “you’re my favorite fuckin’ costumer, y’know that? prettiest girl i’ve ever seen” and her voice is husky and low and guttural and high — and then you moan because she’s speeding up, circling your wet clit like a pro and how can you not, so she lets our a throaty chuckle, “makes the prettiest sounds ive ever fuckin’ heard too… huh, who knew?”

after you’re done you lay your head on top of her firm, naked chest. ellie places a soft kiss on your scalp, and you sheepishly smile and look up at her with pretty doe eyes. “do i get a pretty girl discount then?”

“can take over my whole fuckin’ business if you want… i mean, i’d go totally bankrupt for you”

and funny thing is she is almost bankrupt because she has about ten costumers and six of them are like seniors in high school but still she’d give it all away for you even if that “all” is just the 200$ dollars she has in her bank account and an absurd collection of comic books :(

#𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 anon 🎀 #oh i missed u dealer ellie #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #dealer!ellie

[cinnnamongrl]

pretty when you’re high- ellie williams

pairing: dealer!ellie x fem!reader

summary: you and ellie are best friends despite your differences. ellie gets you high for the first time and the lines of your friendship become blurred

warnings: [18+] mdni, language, use of marijuana, kissing, light smut, some nudity, nipple play, top!ellie, bottom!reader, mutual pining

authors notes: this is possibly part 1 of 2. lmk if anyone would want that? pls send any feedback u may have, would really appreciate it. <3 update: part 2 can be found here

ellie williams was your best friend. you two were as close as friends could be. and despite what people around college thought, you didn’t find anything strange about the fact that the college’s best dealer was best friends with a shy innocent grade A student like you. but it was obvious to everyone that you two, despite being complete opposites, were inseparable.

what you hoped wasn’t obvious to everyone, was the massive crush you were harbouring on your best friend. you couldn’t help it; you thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. the way she laughs, her smile, her voice, the way her hands look as she rolls a joint. sometimes you’d just stare at her while she was doing sometime mundane like talking to someone at a party. you’d watch the way her mouth would move as she talks, how her eyebrows would raise in question, how her toned arms would move as she animated a funny story.

you felt like a lovesick puppy. but your friendship meant too much to risk fucking it up, so you made your peace with this one-sided infatuation.

as best friends do, you two did everything together; went to parties, listened to music, talked until the sun came up, had study/smoke sessions. meaning you studied, and she smoked.

“can you pass me that pen els” you asked, pointing to the biro a few inches from where ellie sat on your dorm floor, joint in her hand.

“what’s the magic word?”

“… abracadabra” you joked.

“wrong. now you don’t get your pen, sorry babe” she teased, picking it up and holding it behind her back.

your face flushed slightly from the pet name despite knowing she meant nothing by it.

“ellie i need to finish this essay. give me that pen” you warned

“why don’t you fuck off the essay and smoke with me instead” she offered hopefully, with a wide smile

you sighed.

“you know i don’t do that stuff” you said rolling your eyes. “and professor druckmann will end me if i don’t get this handed in by monday”

“well i will end you if you don’t stop being a priss and have a smoke with me. just a little bit, see if you like it.”

you frowned but said nothing. you had to admit you were slightly tempted by her offer. you’d always declined at parties, worrying about being in an unsafe environment. but just you and ellie, the person you trusted most in the world, in your dorm room… that’s pretty safe right?

“well.. i- i don’t know how” you said quietly.

“good thing i’m here then” she winked at you and scooched next to where you were sat on the floor, your back against your bed frame.

she held out the joint in front of you.

“just take a drag of mine. inhale and then try to keep it in your lungs okay?”

you looked at her and bit your lip in apprehension. you tried to ignore her eyes wandering down to your mouth as you did so.

“o-okay” you replied, as you took the joint from her fingers and held it up to your mouth, inhaling slowly and letting it ‘stay in your lungs’ whatever that meant, then slowly exhaling.

ellie was watching you with a small smile, feeling a sense of pride at you picking it up so quickly.

“atta girl. knew my smart girl would be a fast learner” she smirked as she playfully nudged your side and you let out a giggle.

~~~~~

a few hits later and your head was starting to feel fuzzy. ellie had taken the joint away insisting you not get ahead of yourself on your first time, missy and her slight condescending tone mixed with the weed had you feeling all tingly.

“feels nice els. ‘s a nice feeling” you spoke

“yeah?” she laughed.

“mhm. feel all fuzzy and tingly” you smiled and looked at the ground through heavy lids.

“i tend to have that effect on women” she joked, mouth turning up into a smirk.

cocky shit

“yeah” you said to yourself, lower than a whisper.

“hm?” she lowered her head to your face.

you snapped your head up.

“nothing” you mumbled.

she laughed and put her hand on your leg, just above your knee.

she was always touchy; often grabbing your hand to lead you somewhere instead of just telling you where to go, hand on your lower back as she stood behind you, or playfully grabbing your arm as she laughed at something you said. she pretended she didn’t notice the way you’d slightly tense up or the way your cheeks would go pink whenever she’d do this. despite the way she felt about you, she didn’t want to assume anything; maybe you blushed when she’d compliment you because you were shy. doesn’t mean you have feelings for her… right?

“you’re pretty when you’re high” she mused as she watched your eyes flutter, a blush creeping up on your face. there it is she thought.

“can’t say stuff to me like that” you said, looking down

“like what, babe?”

“like- like you’re pretty a-and babe. ‘s not fair on me” you uttered, voice small.

“but you are pretty.” a moment passed. “you’re beautiful.”

you looked up at her, searching her face for any hint of mockery or light-heartedness, but you couldn’t find it. your body felt warm and the fuzzy feeling all over felt even more intense.

“i’ve always thought you were beautiful,” she spoke. “the prettiest thing i’d ever seen.”

“ellie” you breathed out, heart beating fast and head swirling.

her hand moved up your leg, resting on your upper thigh and she moved her face closer to yours, eyes landing on your lips.

“can i kiss you?” she asked in a whisper, eyes not leaving your mouth as she spoke.

all you could do was nod, the combination of her words and the high making you unable to form a reply.

ellie grabbed your face with two hands and attached her mouth to yours. her lips were softer than you had imagined and she kissed you with a sweetness that juxtaposed the way her strong hands held your face. you kissed her back eagerly and it didn’t take long for her to take control of the kiss as she slipped her tongue inside your mouth, making you let out a small moan.

“fuck” she uttered against your mouth. “wanted to do this for so long”

she continued kissing you as one of her hands came down to rest on your waist. you felt dizzy with how turned on you were just from her kissing you.

“more.” you choked out. “please el”

“what is it you want baby? tell me” she replied, the hand that was resting on your waist, slowly coming up to stroke your side under your shirt.

“need you to- to touch me”

“i can do that” she smirked and grabbed your waist with both hands and placed you up onto her lap. her eyes sparkled as she looked at you, head titling up slightly from where you were placed on top of her, and you smiled shyly. lightly placing your hands on her shoulders, you kissed her sweetly. she dragged her hands from your waist up to your boobs and cupped them, fingers lightly ghosting over your nipples, then lightly pinching them.

“els” you moaned, head rolling back. you closed your eyes and let yourself focus completely on the blissful feeling of her hands on you.

“arms up” she instructed. you obeyed, lifting your arms up so she could lift your shirt up and over your head. she looked at you, green eyes now darker with lust.

“so fucking pretty" she muttered, almost to herself.

“this why you wanted to get me high?” you let out a small giggle.

“no,” her mouth upturned into a smile “but apparently when you’re high you forget to hide the way you stare at me.”

your eyes went wide and she laughed.

“‘s not a bad thing, it’s got you into my lap, hasn’t it?” she quipped.

“i hate you”

“‘s that right?” she titled her head playfully.

“mhm, i-“

she cut you off, capturing your mouth in a heated kiss, bringing her arms around your back and forcing your body to melt into hers.

#ellie willliams #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou 2 #ellie x reader #dealer!ellie #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams smut

[itsbecomeblue]

gf!ellie headcanons

sinopse: ellie williams is your girlfriend, modern au.

cw: ig ellie grabs boobs?? sfw tho. basic fluff, ellie is just silly, puppy love again, mention of dealer!ellie, not explicit if reader is fem or masc, not proofread (it's never proofread tbh!).

✪ pokes your inner cheek with her tongue when you kiss,

or blows in your mouth "elliuhhhh" ands she's definitely gonna chuckle like "HEHEHE"... she's SOOO SILLY.

✪ doesn't ever just invite you over, she has to make an excuse, something about how you do her hair better or how she needs skin care.

✪ doesn't have any stream apps like netflix or prime, she's a piracy master from practice (getting several viruses on joel's old computer).

✪ watches and listens to anything you like because she loves you but you can see it in her pained face that she's bored, but she'll sit through it and lie "it's cool, babe".

✪ sends the most unfunny (hilarious) reels, you can hear her wheezing while she's in the bathroom.

✪ talking about her bathroom texts, she does let you know like fr "the hardest shit of my life istg that was a rock?" and you will laugh and buy her plums to help your constipated baby.

✪ has the most fun with you, sleeping at ellies is just like having a girls night sleepover.

✪ you'll do eachothers skin care and watch youtube (shes a youtube kid)

"pooks can we watch this streamer now?" she points at the screen, while you untangle her stupid hair.

"careful yeah?" she hisses when you catch a knot and you kiss her scalp "yes im sorry my love"

and she'll look back at you to give you the sweetest cutest smile that makes you sick to your stomach.

✪ is a weed dealer but is also a homebody. so goes to them parties just to deal "just business babe" like she's going to the office or sum.

✪ everyone knew you were dating before you two even admited you had crushed on eachother. she'd protest to your friends "no... like, we're real good friends" as she blushed and you giggled 'yeah's.

✪ she has cold ass hands and they're always inside your shirt when you're cuddling

"babeeeee let me warm up" trying to shove her feet inside your pants???

when the laughter dies, her hand that's up your shirt WILL find your tits.

✪ takes pictures of you when you're asleep, not to tease you or anything, she just thinks you're cute.

✪ only drives when she absolutely has to... but she's always there to drive you anywhere you need.

✪ goes "aww you're so preeeetty" out of nowhere and gives you a smooch on your face.

a/n: i need a gf yall, send applications please ❤️

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie tlou2 #ellie williams x female reader #ellie x fem reader #lover girl!ellie #ellie imagine #loser!ellie #dealer!ellie #modern au #ellie x masc reader #ellie headcanons #ellie williams headcanons #ellie fluff #ellie williams fluff #gf!ellie #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams hcs #ellie williams x you

[elliesbelle]

nobody compares to you

chapter 13

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, mentions of marijuana and descriptions of its usage, descriptions of anaphylactic shock, brief mention of needles, descriptions of anxiety, mentions of death, descriptions of jealousy, mentions of breakups, several flashback scenes, mentions of LSD and its usage, descriptions of acid tripping, ellie's POV, minors do not interact

word count: 9k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist

songs featured in this chapter (including a surprise audio in the middle of the fic):

the aaron taylor song “i think i love you again”

the carpenters song “merry christmas darling”

palestine will be free

“Where the fuck even are you?” 

“Not home.” 

“Well, no shit. I’m literally sitting on your living room couch, dumbass.” 

“Get out of my apartment, weirdo.” 

“Stop procrastinating, asshole.” 

Ellie rolls her eyes as a couple of bright yellow leaves slowly dance down on the pavement from the nearby trees on her path home. One hand holds her phone up in front of her with Dina’s face front and center on the screen through FaceTime. 

Having just dropped off a rather large order to a couple of stoner sophomores living on campus, Ellie’d decided to take the longer, more scenic route home instead of the usual way she’d go every day. She had a “date” lined up with Daniela in about an hour or so, a meeting she wasn’t particularly looking forward to being present for. Having no real enthusiasm to actually be on time to meet up with her, Ellie was purposely and leisurely delaying her return home to get ready. 

Dina, busy lounging on the couch in Jesse and Ellie’s living room, busies herself by finishing a bland, microwaveable box of mac and cheese she’d found shoved in the back of the duo’s full freezer. She was casually killing time talking to Ellie through video chat while she waited for Jesse to finish getting ready for their movie date night. 

Jesse enjoyed dragging Dina along to a movie theater in the neighbouring downtown area that showed old and foreign films. Back home in Jackson throughout their childhood, he and Ellie would make Dina sit through old sci-fi pictures, cult horror films, martial arts movies in a completely different language and with no subtitles. Dina would sit in the middle of the two in complete boredom as she listened to them psychoanalyzing background characters who had two lines and spending hours explaining their personal interpretations of a single camera angle in some inconsequential scene. 

When they all began attending university, Jesse was over the moon upon discovering the nearby theater and the kind of films they would show. Dina complained every single time, but she secretly enjoyed these date nights regardless, always arguing with Jesse on the way home with her own analyses of the movie they’d just seen. She was a little less enthusiastic this time, however, upon hearing that the film they were about to go see was an early 2000s Bollywood movie that had a running time of nearly four hours. 

Jesse had just gotten home from working out at the gym and was busy showering, and Dina decided to preoccupy herself in the meantime by thoroughly berating Ellie for her disinterest and voluntary tardiness for her “date” later that evening. 

“El, I really don’t understand why you’re even bothering with her,” Dina says after a huge, wet slurp of her mac and cheese. “Leave that poor freshman girl alone. You really don’t even seem to like her that much.” 

“She’s still got Joel’s jacket and I want it back.” Ellie shrugs nonchalantly. 

“Maybe if you didn’t pass that shabby old thing around to every new girl you see for a month…” Dina replies, not bothering to mutter under her breath. 

“Oh, leave me the fuck alone, Woodward,” Ellie says, chuckling. “Slutshamer.” 

Jesse jaunts into the living room, jet black hair damp from the shower and fully dressed, and spots Ellie’s face on Dina’s tiny screen. He waltzes towards the couch and, without any warning, stealthily snatches Dina’s phone right out of her hand. 

“Hey!” Dina protests indignantly, trying to reach for it back. 

Jesse ignores her as Ellie laughs. 

“Yo, what the fuck, Williams.” Jesse scolds the auburn-haired girl. 

“Wassup, Chang.” 

“What the hell did you ditch me and the gym for earlier? Today’s our cardio day.” 

“Had a huge delivery I needed to make,” Ellie shrugs. “Wanted two 40 bags on top of a few lavender pre-rolls. And they lived on the opposite side of campus.” 

“A likely excuse,” Jesse scoffs. “I think you’ve been harbouring a secret, years-long grudge against me and actually hate me for some reason.” 

“Oh, it’s not a secret. I do hate you.” 

“Dickhead.” Jesse chuckles as Dina heartily laughs behind him with a mouthful of mac and cheese. 

Before Jesse can continue to berate his best friend, his own phone rings noisily from the inside of one of his jeans pockets. 

“Oh, look. Someone who actually loves and appreciates me.” He says indignantly, handing small-scale Ellie back to Dina. 

Ellie playfully rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Jesse’s phone is currently buzzing and blaring with the personalized ringtone he’d set for your contact years ago shortly after you’d all met for the first time. 

Dina, recognizing the familiar sound as well and noticing Ellie’s tight lips and rigid expression, quickly attempts to change the subject. 

“So where exactly are you gonna be meeting up with the Daniela girl?” Dina quickly asks Ellie at the same time that Jesse booms, “Good evening once again to my absolute favourite person in the whole world!” 

Ellie hesitantly begins to reply to Dina but cuts off almost immediately when she hears Jesse’s tone turn serious and mutter a name she’d come to despise. 

“Oh. Hey, Anderson. What’s up?” Jesse says blankly. “Where’s—” 

“Oh, shit.” Dina inadvertently murmurs as Ellie’s face immediately goes red with fury. 

“Why the fuck is Anderson calling Jesse on her phone?” Ellie demands quietly of Dina. 

“I mean… she is on a date with her tonight…” Dina reluctantly admits, knowing that lying to Ellie about your current whereabouts is pointless after figuring Jesse would eventually blab it to her anyway. 

“Are you fucking serious?” Ellie seethes. 

“I don’t really know why she’d be calling Jesse, though. That doesn’t make any sense...” Dina says, setting down her fork and turning her head back towards her boyfriend as Ellie watches intently him from the corner of Dina’s phone screen. 

Both girls stare Jesse down as he intently listens to the other end of the line, the two getting more and more nervous as his face gets stonier as each second passes. When he finally speaks, his voice is grave and urgent. 

“Is she breathing?” 

“What?” Both Dina and Ellie simultaneously say in distress, which Jesse ignores. 

“What did she eat?” He asks Abby. 

“What’s going on?” Dina implores of him fearfully, sitting up straighter in her seat and completely abandoning her partially eaten mac and cheese on the coffee table. 

Jesse holds up a pointer finger as an indication that he needs to keep listening as Ellie hushes her sternly, fiercely trying to eavesdrop on Jesse’s conversation. 

“Okay. What did you eat?” Jesse questions. 

The way Jesse’s face falls elicits a sharply drawn breath from Dina and drains all the colour from Ellie’s face. 

“Did she have any?” He asks. 

While Jesse listens for Abby’s lengthy response, Ellie quickly averts her eyes back to Dina. 

“Dina.” She says hastily. “Where did Anderson take her tonight?” 

“Orchards. It’s that fancy restaurant that’s like, right by here.” 

“I know. They serve a lot of seafood there, right?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you think Anderson ordered any?” 

“El, how am I supposed to know that?” 

“Well, does Anderson know that she’s deadly fucking allergic to shellfish? That she can’t even fucking touch that shit?” 

Dina’s terrified face suddenly goes completely pale before she responds. 

“I-I don’t know...” 

“Does she have any pockets or some kind of bag with her?” They hear Jesse say. “See if she has her EpiPen in there.” 

“E-El… I don’t think she does.” Dina stammers.” I helped her get dressed tonight and I saw her before she left, and I-I don’t think—” 

Ellie nearly drops her phone on the pavement from how clammy her hands have become from complete fear. When she hears Jesse fiercely mutter a furious “fuck,” she immediately breaks into a sprint. 

“Dina!” Ellie demands. “Give me back to Jesse! Now!” Dina hastily hands her phone to her petrified boyfriend without question as he quickly asks Abby to stay calm and give him a quick second. 

“Jess!” Ellie breathlessly yells, not bothering to keep her voice down and without any concern for the fellow students she was alarming as she ran by. “Go to my room right now and search in the bottom drawer of my desk!!!” 

Promptly and silently, Jesse darts in the direction of Ellie’s bedroom with Dina following closely behind him. 

“There’s an old EpiPen of hers somewhere in there! I think it’s probably a couple of months expired now, but grab it anyway!” 

Jesse and Dina unceremoniously bust into Ellie’s bedroom and follow her instructions precisely. After forcibly yanking open the bottom-most drawer of her computer desk, they begin to desperately rifle through it. After a few seconds of frantic ransacking through its miscellaneous contents, Jesse pulls out a thick, plastic cylindrical object with tiny lettering embellished all over the translucent plastic. 

“Look for the little slot on the side of it that shows you some liquid-y shit inside!” Ellie presses him. “Is it still completely clear and clean, or is it all brown and murky?” 

“It’s clear.” Jesse replies after quickly inspecting the EpiPen. 

“Okay, go!” Ellie orders. “Dina’s gonna call 911 right now! Orchards is right around the corner from our place, so run! Inject the needle on the outside of her thigh! And check her pulse and see if she’s breathing, ‘cause you’ll need to do CPR if she isn’t! Paramedics probably won’t get there for another five minutes or so, so you just gotta keep doing chest compressions until they can get there!” 

Jesse nods and immediately sprints out of the room after handing Dina her phone, placing his own back to his ear and quickly informing Abby that he’d be there shortly, firmly asking her to check your pulse. 

Dina sets her eyes on Ellie, pure terror engraved on her face. 

“Ellie, s-shouldn’t we grab the EpiPen she has now in her apartment? I think I know where it is, probably. Isn’t that safer than—”

“Her apartment is fifteen minutes away from that restaurant and Jesse can get there in two! We can’t waste any more time!” Ellie clarifies quickly. “Now, I need you to hang up right away and call 911 and explain everything that’s just happened! Go!” 

Ellie doesn’t bother waiting for Dina to end the call and roughly taps on the red button herself. 

She shoves her phone into the pocket of her hoodie and quickens her pace. 

Her lungs winded and her heart threatening to beat out of her chest, she couldn't seem to care any less about her own breathing at that very moment. She trusts nothing else but her own feet to get her exactly where she desperately needs to be. She sees nothing and no one else but the pavement directly in front of her, cutting across the university’s campus through the fastest route she can think of in the moment. 

Despite never having been a religious person in any way, Ellie begins to plead a desperate prayer in her mind to whatever god or deity that could possibly exist that you were still breathing somehow and that Jesse had found you and gotten there in time. 

She takes a moment to pull her phone out and check how long it’s been since she ended the FaceTime call with Dina, seeing that a little less than five minutes had just passed. She considers calling her once more for any updates; but not wanting to risk being a possible distraction in case Dina is needed in the moment, she ultimately decides against doing so and instead wills her feet to move faster. 

Unwelcome thoughts begin to involuntarily flood Ellie’s mind as she sprints. 

She thinks of the last time you’d seen each other: that night of your heart-to-heart dinner with Jesse at Sterling’s. It felt almost fated for her and Dina to walk into the same restaurant at the same time that the two of you had been meeting. Ellie recalls the identical look of dismay on both of your faces, equally overwhelmed at the sight of one another. She can still feel the angry yet doleful tears that fell down her red cheeks as she stormed away from the diner, threatening to expose endless repressed feelings of remorse and heartache. 

She remembers the day she saw your sudden reunion with Abby Anderson, you dressed in that beautiful floral sundress and very obviously flirting with the tall, muscular blonde. Her nails were so angrily digging into her palms at the sight of you two that she can still feel the phantom marks that had nearly drawn blood. She’d nearly frightened Dina, who was lounging on the living room couch with a joint in hand, when she busted into her and Jesse’s apartment with immediate choice words that were aroused by her unbridled anger. 

She recalls the last time you’d actually spoken to one other directly after that miserable, unfortunate night of the Sigma Eta party, how taken aback she was at how you were still so undeniably beautiful underneath the pale moonlight. Having been sitting on the hood of her Jeep while she watched in amusement at your futile attempts to keep yourself warm, she thinks of the way your eyes were furiously and desperately trying to avoid her piercing ocean green gaze. The memory of the angry, fleeting look you’d given Daniela when you’d obviously noticed Joel’s old motorcycle jacket resting on her shoulders is one she can never forget; nor could she the air of raw, bitter indignation that radiated off you at the sight of one of your signature lavender joints nestled in between Daniela’s lips. 

She can still feel the visceral rage that sparked inside her from Frat Guy Adam’s casual cruelty towards you, followed by feelings of heartbreak at watching the way your face had fallen at his words. The sheer remorse from pathetically having done nothing right when it happened still weighs on her. Ellie can never forget the simultaneous feelings of shame and comfort she’d felt after your heated encounter with her in the bathroom of Sterling’s: shame from being forcibly confronted with a reminder of the deepest regret of her whole life; and comfort at finally being able to see with her own ocean green eyes, after so long, the face of a person she once adored more than she did anyone else in the world. 

Maybe even still. 

Ellie eventually finds herself at the intersection right where her shared apartment with Jesse is located. Her hasty pursuit is frustratingly impeded when she’s stopped by the angry, glowing red hand at the crosswalk she needs to get past to reach Orchards, cars endlessly coming one after the other. For a few moments, she’s at least able to catch a much-needed, painful breath.

While she bounces up and down on her feet in impatience, very seriously contemplating running across anyway and risking being hit by a speeding car, Ellie thinks of one thing and one thing only: the first moment her eyes met yours all those years ago. The moment when she knew, deep down and instinctively, that everything had changed. 

She’s brutally broken out of her brief reverie by the blaring of sirens booming from around the corner. Her head immediately shoots towards the sound and she watches as two ambulances with flashing red and white lights speed down the road and towards what she believes is the direction of the nearest emergency room. 

Ellie wastes no time bolting down the crosswalk the millisecond that the orange pedestrian signal finally blinks to white, sprinting down the street of Orchards. She’s somehow able to spot Dina’s figure in the middle of a small crowd of people gathered next to the restaurant and immediately sprints towards her. By the time Ellie is able to reach her, most of the unfamiliar bystanders have dispersed with whispers. Her heart races as she sees Dina’s cheeks wet and dripping endlessly with tears. 

“Dina!” Ellie huffs, using the last of her breath and energy to dash to her side. 

“Ellie!” Dina sighs in relief upon spotting her friend. 

They envelop each other in a tight embrace, Dina hiccuping slightly into Ellie’s shoulder. 

“What happened? Did you guys make it in time? Is she okay? Where is she? Where’s Jesse?” Ellie rambles. 

“Sh-she’s okay, I think,” Dina stammers. “She was breathing when Jesse got here, but her pulse was really slow. The paramedics got here a few minutes after Jesse did.” 

She sloppily wipes her eyes with the back of her hands before continuing. 

“They said that the EpiPen probably saved her life, said that she would have had a lot less of a chance if we had just waited for them to arrive. Expired EpiPen was apparently better than nothing, as long as it wasn’t too far off from when it did expire.” 

Ellie takes a relieved breath in at hearing this. 

“Thank god. Thank fucking god. That’s what I thought, but I-I honestly wasn’t sure. I couldn’t remember clearly in the moment.” 

“How did you even know that?” Dina asks her in genuine curiosity. 

“I-I… wh-when we were, you know, t-together…” Ellie mutters awkwardly. “I made sure to know, j-just in case.” 

“Oh, Ellie…” 

Ellie wrings her hands together and clears her throat in embarrassment. 

“So where’s Jess? Where’s Anderson?” She asks, changing the subject and voice dripping in disdain at the last word. 

“Jesse rode in the ambulance with her and the paramedics, and Abby said that she’d follow behind in her car,” Dina replies. “I stayed behind ‘cause I figured you were on your way and I wanted to be able to tell you what happened in person.” 

“Thank you, D, seriously.” 

Dina stares at Ellie earnestly for a moment. 

“You really do still love her.” Dina says, not as a question but as a statement. 

Ellie doesn’t respond to this remark, her lips tight and her ocean green eyes unreadable. 

“Come on. Let’s go see her.” 

You had been brought to St. Peter’s Hospital, the closest one located to your university. When Ellie and Dina had gotten there, they found Jesse sitting alone in the mostly empty waiting room. He was staring up at the dreary off-white ceiling, his left leg nervously bouncing up and down as one of his hands gripped his right knee. When he spots the two girls enter the room, he immediately jumps out of his seat to meet them. He pulls his girlfriend into a tight embrace and gives her a tender kiss on the forehead, and then he places a firm and reassuring hand on his best friend’s shoulder. 

“How is she?” Ellie asks nervously. 

“Unconcious still, but she’s alive,” Jesse replies somberly. “The paramedics in the ambulance told me that they were pumping her full of adrenaline; and so now, they’re either still doing that or they’re just trying to get her heart rate back to normal. Apparently, her tongue was so swollen and her throat closed up completely, so they’ve got to reopen her airways ‘cause she’s having a hard time breathing.” 

“Oh, god…” Dina chokes out. 

“Don’t worry, D.” Jesse consoles. “She’s gonna be fine. She’s strong, and we know that. They’re taking care of her, and she’ll hopefully be awake soon.” 

“I know, I know…” Dina sniffles. “It’s really not like me to fall apart like this. But she’s like a sister to me, you know. I mean, she basically is.” 

“Me too, babe. Don’t worry. We all love her too. No need to explain.” Jesse says. 

Dina gives him a soft smile as he gives her another tender forehead kiss. Watching such a small but affectionate scene between the two makes Ellie feel as if she’s intruding on a private moment she shouldn’t be witnessing. Jealousy in the form of a knife in the stomach twists inside her while her heart aches to feel that kind of intimacy. 

“Oh, shit, I should call her uncle,” Dina suddenly realizes, pulling away from Jesse slightly. “I think I still have his number from freshman year. He should know what’s going on.” 

“Good idea.” Jesse agrees. “He’s one of her emergency contacts, but I’m not sure if he knows just yet.” 

“I’ll call the girls too,” She continues, referring to the other girls who lived in the Wilson Valley building with you and Dina during your freshman year. “I know that they’ll also want to know.” 

She pulls her phone out of her pocket before muttering a quick “be right back” and exiting the waiting room. 

Jesse and Ellie watch her walk out silently. After a moment or two, Jesse speaks up. 

“Are you okay, El?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Come on, man. Don’t do that. You know what I mean.” 

“I’m fine, Jess.” 

“Dude.” 

“What?” 

Jesse turns his whole body to face Ellie straight on, crossing his arms against his chest and frowning. 

“You’re completely red in the face, you look the most stressed out than I’ve ever seen you, and you’re here.” 

“So?” Ellie replies stubbornly. 

“Williams.” Jesse stresses sternly. “You know Dina and I saw everything you had in that desk drawer.” 

Ellie says nothing in reply and Jesse continues. 

“You literally still had her old EpiPen from like, two years ago. That entire drawer was full of her shit.” 

Ellie clenches her jaw and balls up her fists. 

“You still have all those old letters she used to write you all the time, all these mementos and knickknacks from when you two were together. You even have Barbie Bear.” Jesse points out. “Do you know that she’s been chewing Dina out nonstop about her for years because she thinks Dina stole her?” 

“Look, she and I just stopped talking to each other all of a sudden before sophomore year. I never had an actual chance to give her all of her shit back—” 

“You literally could have given them to me or Dina or even any of the Wilson girls so we could return them.” 

“Look—” 

“And what about the rest of it? Shit that you didn’t have to actually give back to her? It’s been years. You could have easily thrown it all out.” 

“You don’t understa—” 

“You didn’t even bother leaving all that shit back home in Jackson. You brought it all here with you to keep in our apartment.” 

“I… I—” 

“She could have fucking died tonight, El. And you’re still bullshitting me.” 

“Jesse.” Ellie croaks out through quivering lips and watery eyes. 

“You saved her life. She could have very well been in a worse state right now if it weren’t for you. You told me and Dina what to do. Nobody told you to do any of that. And by the sorry state of you, it looks like you just ran three marathons in a row just to get here and make sure she was okay in person.” 

Tears threaten to flow down from Ellie’s ocean green eyes, and it takes every ounce of strength that she has left in her to will them not to fall. 

“She means so, so much to me and Dina. And to a whole bunch of other people too. When she gets hurt, we feel that shit too.” Jesse says. “I need you to get your motherfucking shit together, Williams. Now.” 

Before Ellie can even form some kind of thought in response to his declaration, Dina suddenly reenters the waiting room. 

“Called her uncle and told him everything I know. He’s currently looking up the first flight out and he’ll hopefully be here sometime tomorrow.” Dina informs the pair as she walks over. “Just got off the phone with Astrid too. Most of the girls are either busy or asleep by now, but she said she’ll let them know too as soon as possible. If she’s awake tomorrow, they’ll try to come by to pay her a visit.” 

“Okay, good.” Jesse nods in response. “Thanks for doing that, D. I was so focused on what’s been going on, and none of that even crossed my mind.” 

“They deserved to know.” Dina smiles sadly before suddenly frowning. “But why did she even go into anaphylactic shock in the first place? They both asked me, but I realized that you never actually told either of us and I didn’t really know what to tell them.” 

“She and Anderson were making out, and Anderson had eaten some seafood bouillabaisse for dinner. Apparently, it had a bunch of chopped-up shrimp in it that she couldn’t see.” Jesse says plainly. 

Dina inadvertently glances at Ellie in slight sympathy, but Jesse looks at her with zero remorse on his face. 

“She didn’t tell Abby that she was really allergic?” Dina asks. 

“Anderson apparently had no idea, said that she wouldn’t have ordered it if she knew in the first place.” Jesse clarified. 

“Anderson should have fucking double-checked re-fucking-gardless.” Ellie angrily interjects. 

“It’s not Abby’s fault, Ellie. There’s no way she could have just known instinctively.” Dina reasons. 

“Doesn’t matter. Isn’t she studying to be a fucking doctor? Isn’t that some basic shit that they teach at med school or whatever? She should have known better.” Ellie seethes. “Where the fuck is she, anyway? I thought she came along.” 

“She went down to the food court for a breather.” Jesse says. 

“Oh, she needs a breather?” Ellie sneers. “Yeah, go ahead and catch your breath when the person you almost killed tonight can’t even fucking breathe—” 

“Ellie!” Dina scolds. 

“Whatever.” Ellie scoffs. 

“El,” Dina suddenly brings up. “Have you talked to Daniela yet?” 

“What about her?” Ellie asks. 

“Weren’t you supposed to meet up with her…” Dina checks the time on her phone. “... almost an hour ago?” 

“So?” 

“Ellie.” 

Ellie clicks her tongue. 

“Fine, let me text her right now that I won’t make it—” She begins to say begrudgingly, but she cuts herself off as someone else enters the waiting room. 

Abby Anderson quietly walks through the door, sipping a plain black coffee from a styrofoam cup. She looks up from her drink and gives Jesse an awkward but polite smile which he respectfully returns along with a nod. 

Ellie’s entire body goes cold with frigid, icy hatred, exacerbated when her furious ocean green eyes suddenly meet with Abby Anderson’s tired sky blue ones. 

“Actually,” Ellie suddenly says. “I’m gonna give her a call and see if she’s still free to meet up tonight. I still want my jacket back.” 

Both Dina and Jesse look as if they’re each about to interject with a response, but Ellie is too quick for either of them to say a word. 

Ellie storms out of the waiting room, not giving a second look at Abby Anderson. 

Ellie throws Joel’s old leather jacket onto her bed, sighing softly. She sheds her sweaty grey hoodie and throws it down next to the jacket before pulling her phone out. She proceeds to call Jesse, but she’s greeted with ten, empty-sounding buzzes before being redirected to his voicemail. She then attempts to call Dina but is greeted with an immediate automated message stating that the call could not be completed. 

Groaning in exasperation, Ellie collapses into her desk chair and roughly kicks off her Converse. After a moment or two, she notices the bottom-most drawer of her desk and the way it’s hanging off the frame precariously. Sighing, she crouches down on the floor and begins to rearrange its previous contents. 

At first, she shoves items back into the drawer at random, but she immediately pauses once her hand grazes across the fur of a pink stuffed animal. 

Barbie Bear. 

She picks up the stuffed animal and stares sadly into its plastic eyes. Noticing that the light pink ribbon around its neck has gotten loose, Ellie delicately attempts to retie it back into a bow. After a couple of lopsided tries, she’s eventually satisfied once she’s able to center the ribbon correctly. She carefully places Barbie Bear back into the drawer before returning to restore its contents with more consideration. 

After replacing a few pairs of old earrings of yours into a small box, she picks up a stack of old letters that she’d tied together with a piece of brown twine. Ellie resists the urge to go through each of them, but when she notices that one had fallen out of the stack and is now lying on the floor, her willpower dwindles almost instantly. 

Ellie picks up the envelope gingerly, almost as if she’s afraid that her touch will cause it to burst into flames. She reads her name on the front written with green ink and flips it over to where the flap of the envelope is torn open. She runs her fingers over the wax seal that had secured the letter inside: the design of Saturn amongst several stars. Nervously, she slips the card out from inside and unfolds it to reveal your handwriting. 

Dear Ellie, 

It is currently 4:27 A.M. and I can’t sleep, and for some reason, I can’t stop watching that story you posted on Instagram earlier over and over. The one of you singing and playing your electric guitar to that Aaron Taylor song. Not to be gay as fuck, but it is so easy to get lost in the sound of your voice. Also, I really like your lips. And your hands. 

I know I said this yesterday already, but you’ve been overworking yourself way too much lately. I’m glad that you’ve been putting a lot of effort into your schoolwork, but have you eaten? When was the last time you had a full meal (microwaveable ramen does not count)? Have you been taking any time for yourself? It’s really sweet that you still make time to come hang out with me most days, but you need some you time too, you know. 

Not that I don’t love seeing your goofy face all the time. I don’t know, I think me writing all that out is me casually acknowledging that I have attachment issues and attempting to work on it. Oh, well. I’m pretty attached to you, fucking dork. 

Okay, heading to bed now. Hopefully, I’ll actually be able to fall asleep this time. But hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow (I know I just said that you need to take more time for yourself, but shut up). You’re always the best part of my day. 

Ellie can’t seem to let herself read the final piece of the letter, the part where you’d signed your name. 

She delicately folds the card once more and places it back into its envelope. Turning it over in her hand and tenderly running her fingers over where you’d addressed her name, she wonders if your handwriting is still the same as it was all those years ago. 

Reluctantly, Ellie tucks the letter back into the stack before tying them all securely together once more. 

Earlier That Evening 

Ellie was fifty-two minutes late to her supposed “date” with Daniela. This was Ellie’s third failed attempt at reacquiring Joel’s old motorcycle jacket, and they had previously decided to meet up outside the coffee shop on campus where Daniela recently started working after the end of her shift. 

But after Ellie’s unexplained absence from their meeting, Daniela bitterly stormed back home to her dorm. She had half a mind to say no when Ellie called her with a half-assed explanation and asked if she could come over to retrieve her jacket. But after giving in, Ellie arrived at her dorm room within half an hour. 

It wasn’t a total shock to Ellie when she was greeted with a look of annoyance when Daniela opened the door for her. Ellie attempted to feign a guilty expression, but all that she could muster was an indifferent grimace. Daniela said nothing as she silently beckoned Ellie to follow her and come in, an AirPod playing music loudly in one ear. 

Ellie took a quick glance around the place, never having actually been inside Daniela’s room before. The twin-size beds, old wooden dressers, and scuffed-up desks were an all-too-familiar sight for Ellie, having gone through the same torturous experience herself only a couple of years back in her freshman year. But a few things were different as Daniela and her roommate had attempted to really personalize their living area. Ellie tried not to make a face of repulsion when spotting a few Taylor Swift concert posters above one of the desks. 

Daniela plopped onto, what Ellie had assumed was, her bed but made no gesture that welcomed Ellie to do the same. She merely stared at her passively as Ellie tried to avoid looking her directly in the eye. 

“You’re an hour late.” Daniela pointed out. 

“Only fifty-two minutes late.” Ellie attempted to joke. 

Daniela only hummed in response, unsmiling. She picked up a faded brown jacket that was sitting on top of her pillow by the collar and handed it over to Ellie. 

“Thanks,” Ellie muttered, tucking the jacket under her arm. “Uh, thanks a lot for looking after it. Needed it back ‘cause it’s really my dad’s old jacket.” 

“Oh, sorry. I would have given it back sooner if I knew that.” Daniela replied, not sounding the least bit sorry. 

“It’s okay.” Ellie mumbled awkwardly. 

There was an uncomfortable moment or two of complete silence where Daniela continued to merely gaze at Ellie, unwavering and unapologetic, while Ellie focused her eyes on her Converse as she wrung her hands together. 

“Hey, look…” Ellie eventually spoke up. “I really am sorry about being late. I just had a really important emergency that I had to deal with.” 

“It’s fine,” Daniela replied remorselessly. “Tara told me that you suddenly had to deal with some shit.” 

“Wait, what?” 

“Tara. Tara Maclay. She works with me at Ruston.” 

“Oh, right.” 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“Your ex-girlfriend, right?” Daniela asks unexpectedly. 

“What?” 

“Your ex-girlfriend. The shit you had to deal with tonight.” 

“Oh, uh…” 

“No point in lying, Ellie.” Daniela shrugged. “Tara already told me the gist.” 

“Oh. What did she say exactly?” 

“Not much. Said that you needed to help deal with something for someone you both know. She didn’t tell me exactly that it was your ex-girlfriend, but it was pretty obvious. I read between the lines.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“She really shouldn’t have told you all that.” 

“She was ranting to another co-worker and I overheard your name and I was curious.” Daniela shrugged again, unabashed. 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“So you still into your ex or something, Ellie?” Daniela spoke up again. 

“She’s not really my ex-girlfriend.” 

“Whatever.” 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“Well?” Daniela asked. 

“It’s kind of complicated.” 

“That’s just the bullshit way of saying yes,” Daniela rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t matter if she’s your ‘ex’ or whatever.” 

“Look, Daniela—” 

“I know we aren’t serious or whatever, but I don’t really feel like dealing with someone else’s ex drama.” 

“There’s no drama. I don’t even speak to her anymore.” 

“And yet you ditched me to go and help her out with something earlier.” 

“It’s not like that. And it was also an emergency.” 

“So you said.” 

Ellie wasn’t sure why she felt the need to explain herself to a girl she barely knew. Part of her felt compelled to do so as if she could continue to actively ignore her feelings by saying these things out loud. 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“God, you’re such an asshole fuckboy, Ellie.” 

“Hey, what the fuck—” 

“You know that you can get girls and do, but you just like to fuck around with them and play with their feelings.” 

“Alright, first of all, you said yourself that we’re nothing serious. We’ve barely even done anything.” Ellie said defensively. “Second, I literally just said that I don’t even talk to her anymore! Not even tonight!” 

Ellie scoffed as Daniela rolled her eyes once more. 

“Look,” Ellie continued through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry that I was late tonight. And I get it if your feelings are hurt. But nothing’s happening between me and my ex.” 

“You just said that she wasn’t your ex.” 

“Sh-she’s— she’s not, she’s—” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniela muttered as stood up from her bed. “At this point, I’m over it, and I really don’t give a fuck anymore. You’re hot and all, Ellie. But this is not worth it.” 

She popped an AirPod in her ear once more and sauntered over to the door. 

“Word of advice. Figure out your feelings for this ‘ex’ of yours and decide if you actually wanna be with her or not before getting involved with anyone else. Nobody deserves that hanging over their head, especially when you’re so clearly still in love with her.” 

And with that, Daniela opened the door and peered at her expectantly. Ellie took the hint and walked towards her direction and through the doorway. Before Ellie could fully turn around and give any parting words, Daniela shut the door in her face. 

Present 

Ellie collapses onto her bed next to Joel’s old motorcycle jacket. She pulls her phone out again, contemplating calling Jesse and Dina once more. But realizing they’ll probably call her if they have anything important that they feel she needs to know, she drops the phone down to her side in defeat. 

She continues to lay in her bed for a while, stewing in her unresolved feelings with nobody to confide in. Closing her eyes, her mind begins to race against her will with reminders of the path life led her down after you. 

First was Marisol. Less than two months into sophomore year of college, Jesse and Dina were completely aghast to see Ellie walking around campus with a girl they’d never seen her with before. She was in Ellie’s Aerospace Engineering class, and Ellie had claimed to have had an eye on her since last year. Jesse and Dina watched helplessly as their friend flaunted her new girlfriend around everywhere for the next couple of months. 

Ellie wasn’t initially sure what it was that attracted her to Marisol in the first place. She was naturally beautiful with her long, black hair and slender figure, and she was the textbook definition of a perfect girlfriend. It took two and a half months of overly extravagant dates and bouquets of Marisol’s favourite flowers and late nights spent at her dorm room for Ellie to understand what it was about Marisol that she was drawn to: it was her eyes. Down to the specks in her irises and how her eyelids curved, Marisol’s eyes resembled yours far too well. After coming to this harrowing realization, Ellie quickly broke things off with her tactlessly and with a half-assed, mostly untrue justification. 

The next was Luz who she had met during her near-daily workouts at the gym with Jesse. Ellie spent several autumn weeks with them, allowing Luz to whisk her about to different parties with different groups of friends every weekend. But one fateful night when they had dragged Ellie to a party at the same Sigma Eta frat house where you’d both first met, a bad acid trip cemented the end of her time with Luz. 

As Ellie’s dilated pupils focused intensely on Luz’s black boots, a pair very similar to your favourites, she felt a sensation begin to roughly tug at something inside her. From her spot on the living room couch, her eyes darted up to a spot by the wall where a small group of partygoers were congregating. She zeroed in on a random girl she’d never seen before whose multi-coloured features, as a result of LSD brain fog, began to morph into those of someone she was desperately trying to forget.

Once the last parts of the stranger’s face had fully formed to impersonate yours, she abruptly stood up from her slouched position on the couch, muttered an excuse to Luz about using the bathroom, and desperately begged Jesse to come pick her up immediately. After Jesse helped her click on her seatbelt in the passenger seat with a tight-lipped expression where he fought the urge to remind her of the significance of this house, Ellie never looked back and swore never to trip on acid again, subsequently ghosting Luz after that night. 

A couple of weeks before winter break, she met a sweet and quiet girl named Simi. They met through a dating app during one of Ellie’s crossfaded swiping sprees at 2 in the morning. Ellie’s affair with her was extremely short-lived, ending things with her a day before everyone left campus to head home for the holidays. While spending the day hanging out at Simi’s dorm room as her new girlfriend packed for her trip home, Ellie suddenly and unfairly started a fight with her after Simi had begun to mindlessly sing the song “Merry Christmas Darling” under her breath. 

Ellie had unkindly demanded for her to “shut up” immediately, understandably hurting Simi’s feelings. The fight was short and confusing, as Ellie had refused to elaborate on her sudden explosion. As she unceremoniously marched out of the dorm room, Ellie aggressively tried to suppress memories of you singing that same Carpenters song on a loop all of December of the previous year. You’d claimed you couldn’t get it out of your head and needed to sing it out loud at least fifty times a day so you could stop thinking about it. Though Ellie had playfully cussed you out and thrown several pillows at you on multiple occasions, that song now belonged to you forever and nobody else. 

After Simi were strings of countless others, some who had used Ellie as their brief college lesbian experience and many whose names Ellie would never be able to recall. She never hooked up with the same person more than twice, never actually took another one out for an actual date until Daniela. 

Ellie had found Daniela incredibly pretty when she’d first laid eyes on her on a warm September afternoon earlier in the year. She was lounging on the quad as Dina did her homework and Jesse lazily strummed his guitar when a group of freshmen walked by. Ellie hadn’t spared them a glance until one of the girls approached her, all shy and giggly, and said that one of her friends found Ellie very cute. After pointing Daniela out and asking for her number, Ellie shrugged and relented. She ignored Dina and Jesse’s identical judgmental looks and eye-rolls in her peripheral vision. 

Ellie enjoyed the undivided attention of someone completely enamoured by her. Daniela was constantly responsive, did whatever Ellie wanted to do, and was always so eager to please her. Ellie’d bring her to the movies, go on long drives with her in her Jeep, take her to whatever restaurants she’d want to eat at. 

To anyone who keenly observed when they were together, it was quite obvious who was far more invested between the two. Despite spending an ample amount of time with her in the past month or so, Ellie continued to keep Daniela at arm’s length. On multiple occasions when Ellie’d convinced Jesse and Dina to allow Daniela to accompany them, the long-time couple would watch how disconnected their friend was from this new girl she’d been seeing.

Dina would constantly give Jesse a raised eyebrow look that silently would ask, “Is she really serious?” to which Jesse would give her a tight-lipped, wordless grimace that replied with “We both know she’s a fucking dumbass.” They both placed bets on when exactly Ellie would eventually ditch this new girlfriend. 

Unbeknownst to them, it’s Ellie who was so easily discarded this time around. Feeling so unmoved and unaffected about the split with Daniela, Ellie tries to feel some kind of guilt over her lack of reciprocation. It’s her own actions, after all, that landed her dumped in the first place. She’s never fully seen Daniela as an actual girlfriend, and she knows full well that she shouldn’t have strung her along. 

But as she continues to lay in her bed, ocean green eyes shut and a hand woven through her auburn locks, she thinks of only you. 

Ellie can’t remember a single moment in her life when she’s felt more in need of another person’s company than she does at this very moment. Unable to trouble Dina to be her listening ear as she always is or bother Jesse to bluntly set her straight as usual, she feels the loneliness of the gloomy, dark room creep into her guilty conscience. 

Her fingers begin to mindlessly search her bedsheets as she continues to stare at her decrepit bedroom ceiling, seeking for her silver joint box that had fallen out of her pocket when she’d collapsed on her bed. Instead of the feel of cold metal, her hand comes across something smooth and warm. Pulling the brown leather jacket up to her face, Ellie’s mind murmurs a single word. 

Joel. 

She pulls her phone out to search for her father’s face within her favourite contacts. She hesitates for a moment but pushes herself to call. 

Joel picks up after only two rings. 

“Ellie? Jesus, kiddo, what the hell time is it?” 

“Hello to you too, old man.” Ellie chuckles. 

“Everythin’ alright?” Joel’s voice asks, tired but urgent. 

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I guess.” 

Ellie can almost hear her father sitting up straight in bed. 

“What’s wrong, Ellie?” 

“I-I…” She stutters. “Joel…” 

With a whimpering tone, she suddenly recounts the night’s events in complete detail. Joel listens attentively, only ever interrupting with sharp intakes of breath and hushed, imperceptible asides. After listening to his daughter’s sorrowful spiel, he finally speaks. 

“Oh, baby girl…” Joel utters. “I truly am sorry. It’s been a real rough night for all of y’all.” 

“Yeah…” 

“That poor kid… I’m glad she had you three lookin’ out for her tonight.” 

Ellie says nothing to this, pursing her lips. 

“How about you, Ellie?” Joel continues. “How are you feelin’ after everythin’ that’s happened?” 

“I-I’m not really sure. I’m not sure I know how to feel.” 

“That’s okay. You don’t have to just yet. It just happened and all.” 

“All I feel is so much fucking guilt, Joel. It feels like my mind is empty but overflowing all at the same time. I feel so motherfucking powerless and I don’t know what to do.” 

There’s a moment of silence before her father speaks again. 

“You given any thought to the conversation we had before you left for school, kiddo?” 

Last August: Jackson 

Ellie’s bedroom was full of boxes and bags packed with everything she planned to bring to college for her junior year. The space was slightly more barren, closet mostly empty and trinkets missing from her shelves. It was only a couple more days before she, Dina, and Jesse would be making their journey back to their university, and she was uncharacteristically ahead of schedule. 

Leaning against her desk with a box full of comic books on the floor next to her, she was casually perusing an old graphic novel when Joel appeared in her open doorway. 

“Knock, knock.” 

“The door’s open, old man. Also, you can literally just walk in, you know.” 

“Who raised you to have so much cheek against your elders, kid?” 

“You, dude.” 

The pair smirked at each other’s smart-mouthed retorts. 

“Need any help packin’ up?” 

“Nah. It’s pretty much done except for a handful of essentials.” 

“Including that book you’re holdin’ right now?” 

“Like I said: essentials.” 

Joel chuckled. 

“Well, the Changs sent over some dinner for us, if you want some. Wisa made K-kaw… Khao Tom Pa… no, Plah…” Joel stuttered, making an effort to pronounce the Thai dish correctly. “Khao Tom Plah, that’s it. She brought some over earlier, thought we might want some. She even made it without the prawns, just the way you like it.” 

“Sick. She’s the best. I’ll text Jesse later to thank her.” 

“Good.” 

Joel lingered as Ellie went back to reading her comic, wistfully looking around his daughter’s nearly vacated bedroom. His eyes fell on a small box sitting at the foot of Ellie’s bed. It was an ordinary, cardboard box just as the others were, except it was heavily sealed with multiple layers of silver duct tape. He frowned. 

“Still plannin’ on bringin’ that box?” 

“What do you mean?” Ellie asked, knowing exactly what her father was referring to without looking up. 

“You know you can just leave it here at home, right? It ain’t like I go through your doohickeys when you ain’t here.” 

“So you do go through my shit when I am here?” 

“Ellie.” 

“What?” 

“Why the hell are you doing this to yourself, kid?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“We’ve been having this same conversation for the past year now.” 

Ellie finally peeled her eyes away from her graphic novel, tossing it on the desk behind her and crossing her arms. 

“You’re the one who keeps bringing it up, Joel.” 

“I bring it up because I know that you ain’t been talkin’ about these feelings with anyone. Not me or Jesse or Dina. It’s been a year since you ditched that poor girl, and you’re still sulkin’ over it.” 

“She ditched me.” 

“Hold your horses; we both know that ain’t true.” 

“What do you want from me, old man?” 

“I want you to be happy, kiddo.” 

“What makes you think I’m not happy?” 

“Now, don’t try to bullshit me. You can grumble and deny it ‘til the cows come home, but even after all this time, all you ever do is brood and pine after that girl. Plain as day to anyone. You ain’t been the same since y’all broke up.” 

“We weren’t together.” 

“Yes, you were.” 

Joel ignored his daughter’s subsequent eye-roll before continuing. 

“You still have the box, Ellie.” 

“I just forgot I even had it.” 

“And yet, you’re bringin’ it to school with you, just like you did last year. Why?” 

“It was just in my closet stuffed in with all this other shit I don’t touch. Had to take it out while I was packing.” 

“That ain’t amount to a hill o’ beans. And you still ain’t answer my question.” 

“Sorry, dude.” 

“Ellie. You and I would down to Beacon Run all the damn time back when you were growin’ up. You used to beg me to go for dinner whenever you had a hankerin’ to order that cheesy crab dip with all those chips and jalapeños and such.” 

Ellie raised her eyebrow, unsure where her father was going with this. 

“Then all of a sudden, a few years ago, you seemed to hate the place. You’ll maybe get a plate of fries and nothin’ else. Matter of fact, I can’t, for the life of me, recall the last time I’ve seen you eat a plate of seafood with any kind of shellfish in it.” 

Joel’s greying eyes pierced Ellie’s ocean green. 

“Two years.” He continued. “It’s been two years. You almost never eat any kind of seafood no more, and even the Changs never cook us anythin’ that has shrimps or scallops or anythin’ of the like.”

Joel watched as his daughter stubbornly struggled to justify herself. He sighed sadly. 

“I wish you’d let yourself be happy, Ellie. You could be.” 

“That so? How do you figure that?” 

“First step is admitting exactly what is clear as day to everyone around you.” 

“Oh, yeah? And what is that?” 

Present Day 

“J-Joel… I-I…” Ellie sobs. “I love her.” 

“I know, baby girl.” 

Joel helplessly listens to his daughter’s desperate weeping from the other end of the line. 

“So,” He eventually asks in between her snivels. “What now?” 

“It doesn’t matter.” She sniffs. 

“Kiddo, why do you think your feelings don’t matter?” 

“Because relationships do not work for me. Love doesn’t work for me.” 

“Your relationship with her didn’t work. Past tense. It’s been years. It was a tough situation. You’re a different person now.” Joel clarifies. “And there’s plenty love ‘round you, kiddo. You got a lotta love in your life. I need you t’realize that.” 

“Except I-I’m not a different person, Joel. I-I am just an older, slightly more experienced version of myself. I-I…” Ellie stutters. “I’m afraid.” 

“Of course you are, kid. It’s only natural.” Joel replies. “But you can’t live your whole life closed off from the rest of the world. You need and deserve love, Ellie.” 

“Except I don’t, Joel! I fucking don’t!” She cries. “God, y-you just, you just don’t understand!” 

“What don’t I understand?” 

“She almost fucking died!” Ellie nearly screams. 

A silence falls between the two, only broken by Ellie’s hot and angry tears noisily dropping onto the old leather jacket. She grips it tightly in one hand before continuing. 

“I-if… if none of it happened… if I d-didn’t do all that to h-her all those years ago…” She stutters between shaky lips. “M-maybe she wouldn’t be where she is now. She wouldn’t have gone on a date w-with someone who didn’t know about…” 

Ellie chokes back a sob. 

“I-I… I would have known. I would have t-taken care of her. I would never have—” 

“Ellie.” 

“She needed me, and I… I let her down. Not just tonight. All those years ago. I couldn’t be what she needed. I fucking failed her.” 

“It’s not that simple, kid.” 

“Yes, it is! Her cousin fucking died! He was her whole fucking world, and she loved him more than anything, and he fucking died and I… I ran. I abandoned her.” 

The blurry memory of your sleeping figure in the passenger seat of Ellie’s Jeep appears in front of her, wrapped up cozily in her flannel as she drives you home from Jackson and naive to what lies ahead. 

“I know… I know what I’m capable of, Joel. I loved her so much all those years ago and… I still hurt her. I hurt her so fucking badly.” 

Your image transforms to one of you awake and livid, Ellie’s flannel torn off and tears streaming down your face. Anger and betrayal are etched all over your face, just like they were all those years ago. The shame she’d felt back then is incomparable to what she feels now. 

“I don’t ever want to do that to her again, ever. I just can’t. I won’t.” 

Joel sighs deeply before finally speaking. 

“Ellie. That fear is always gonna be there. But you’re young, and we make plenty of mistakes in our youth. God knows how much of my past I used to regret.” 

Ellie takes deep breaths as her father continues to speak. 

“Everythin’ that happened tonight? None of it was your fault. In fact, I reckon you’re the reason she’s still livin’ and breathin’ right now. I’m proud of you for that.” 

“All I did was—” 

“All you did was save her life.” 

Ellie sniffles but doesn’t respond. 

“Look, kiddo,” Joel continues. “As someone who has known you for a very long time, I know how much of a good heart you got. You’re a lovin’ person who deserves love. I wish you could believe that.” 

The sound of people entering through the front door echoes all around the empty apartment, but Ellie hears nothing else but the sound of her own agonized sobs. 

author’s notes:

belle posting TWO chapters of ncty within less than two weeks of each other??? what is this, may 2023???

saury for not posting this right away like promised yesterday, like i said, going thru some shit rn! but i hope y'all enjoyed regardless ♥︎

i'll give you a kiss on the mouth if you guess the bollywood movie i vaguely reference at the beginning of the chapter :)

the idea of reader being allergic to shellfish and going into anaphylactic shock came to me one day a while back when i was eating something with shrimp and randomly remembered that i am very allergic to shellfish and instead of being like, "i should go take some medicine immediately", i thought, "hmm this would be a wild plot point for ncty" LMFAOOOO

anyway, this is your reminder that if you have an epipen, don't be stupid, bring that shit with you wherever you go sldkfjsdl

the more of jesse that i include in this series, the more i enjoy writing him. he's such a fun character to write hehe

i thought having abby sipping on some hot, black coffee when ellie fucking canonically hates coffee was so hilarious, i pat myself on the fucking back for that one

yes i also pat myself on the back for the line regarding ellie's ocean green eyes and abby's sky blue ones. i fucking love parallels and symbolism. i'm a whore for them, in fact.

btw dina doesn't respond to ellie's phone call bc her phone died (prob from facetiming ellie for that long earlier in the night) and idk, jesse's either not paying attention or being petty LMFAO

the reappearance of barbie bearrrrr, my babyyyy. idk if y'all remember, but yes, barbie bear is a reference to the actual stuffed pink bear i sleep with every night named barbie. i had planned since chapter 4 (which is the chapter barbie bear is first mentioned) for ellie to have had her this whole time because i'm a fucking lunatic LOL

i mentioned in the author's notes section of the last chapter how reader's letterwriting hobby is inspired by me irl cause i do that all the time for friends, but reader's letter in this chapter is actually loosely based on a letter that soulmate ex wrote me, it's not word for word exactly, i altered it a bit to fit the story better, but it's very close because i'm INSANE, anyway

yes "i think i love you again" is on my playlist about my ex-girlfriend and "merry christmas darling" is on his playlist for me, go away

ellie's clear aversion to taylor swift is both a reference to a previous chapter where jesse subtly mentions her dislike for her and also to my personal belief that ellie really would not like her as a person or an artist at all irl lmfao

the names of all of ellie's ex gfs or whatever are inspired by something very specific but that's another heehee secret trivia that nobody else but me will ever know about (let's be real, i'll prob tell star later LOL)

i named jesse's mom after one of my fave co-workers hehe (and the dish she makes for them is thai bc my co-worker is from thailand)

ellie's declaration of love about reader that she makes to joel has also been a long time planned now, idk why i knew it was gonna be chapter 13 when i did it, but i just knew it was. it was always the plan for her to confess it out loud to joel first, above anyone else

the final conversation between ellie and joel is heavily inspired by a scene from one of my fave tv shows, crazy ex-girlfriend. the scene makes me bawl every time i watch it. please watch crazy ex-girlfriend. so good.

we really are thirteen chapters into this series, huh? crazy. anyway, love y'all. <3

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i was all over her | e. williams ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

PAIRING— dealer!ellie williams x fem!reader

SUMMARY— you and ellie are best friends, first year college roommates that never separated. when a friend asks for your help in making her ex jealous, you succeed... and seem to smash not one, but two hearts with one singular kiss.

WARNINGS— NSFW, smut [18+], mutual pining, sexual tension, college!au, alcohol use, explicit marijuana use/handling(?), jealous/protective ellie, ellie having dirty thoughts about you, ellie masturbating, hints of angst & fluff, kinda proofread.

WC— 7.5k

AUTHOR'S NOTE— thank you so much for 1k!! consider this a gift from me ♡ this is part one to a potential multi-part series... please feel free to leave feedback!! (also, stream i was all over her by salvia palth)

Soft footsteps mixed with whispers and the flicking of musky pages filled your ears while your eyes scanned the directory signs in the library. You were looking for a particular genre, your eyes jumping from the signs to Dina as she continued on about how Gentoo penguins use pebbles to propose to their girlfriends.

"I just think... if someone proposed to me like that, I wouldn't mind as long as their heart's there," Dina joked, causing you to playfully roll your eyes as you slowed in front of a large bookshelf. You needed a particular book for your world history course, your eyes scanning the titles as you responded.

"Well aren't you a hopeless romantic?" you quirked back, your eyes creasing as you softly laughed. You often found yourself hanging with Dina during the day, mainly due to you having classes together.

You shared more classes with Dina than Ellie did, but you weren't close with her like you were with Ellie, your best friend since the start of freshman year. Naturally, because you and Ellie had different majors, you found yourselves in different buildings during the day. While apart, your time was spent with Dina more often.

"You should come to this party later tonight," Dina said in a low tone to avoid disrupting near students as you pulled the book you wanted from the shelf, examining the cover. "Jesse might be there... I'd like to have you there."

You quirked a brow at her, knowing of her ex boyfriend Jesse. You've spoken to him numerous times, and you thought he was a cool guy. You felt the buzz of your phone in the pocket of your sweatpants, causing you to instinctively pull it out as your eyes shifted to Dina's face.

"I'm interested, but why do you want me there because of Jesse?" you raised a brow before glancing down at your phone screen.

Ellie: told kyle i'd meet at his party tn. you in?

"Who is it?" Dina whispered, glancing from the side of your phone to your face.

"Ellie. Whose party is it?" you asked quickly.

"Kyle's," Dina quickly answered, to which you nodded in understanding. It wasn't a surprise. Kyle was a cool dude and often had chill parties.

Ellie: doesn't matter. already told him im going so

Ellie: you are too.

Despite Ellie being your best friend, little things about her made your stomach twist in tingly knots. You loved how audacious she was, clearly taking the leading role in your friendship. Other than that, your feelings for her controlled your reactions as well.

"Looks like I'm already going," you sighed, tucking your phone back in your pocket before completely facing her. "But seriously... Are you wanting to avoid Jesse, or something?"

"Sh!" she whisper shouted, suddenly becoming nervous that someone could hear you say his name. "You're being loud."

"I'm whispering," you whisper-shouted defensively, causing Dina to playfully roll her eyes.

"I want to make him jealous," Dina admitted, a tiny smirk tugging the corner of her lips.

"Seriously?" you scoffed as the two of you made your way over to the counter, passing a few students studying with earbuds in on the way.

"Don't you think that's a little... I don't know... toxic?" you asked, unsure whether she saw it that way.

"Oh c'mon," Dina drew out, softly nudging your arm. "It's harmless. It's up to him if he wants to make a move."

"Or you could stop being stubborn?" you suggested with raised brows, nearly making Dina's jaw drop. Since you didn't receive a response, you pushed. "So.. what? You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend or something?"

"Not girlfriend, per se. More like... arm candy," Dina smirked, slightly spinning on her heel as she spoke. She seemed a little nervous to ask you, despite her outgoing personality. She gave you flirty eyes, the same eyes you fail to say no to every time. Sure, you thought Dina was cute, but you didn't have feelings for her. She was your friend, one that seemed to be too convincing at times.

A sigh puffed past your lips as you walked up to the counter, giving Dina one last glance before greeting the cashier. Dina's soft smile never went away as you checked the book out, and she was hot on your heels as the two of you left the bookstore with her shiny puppy eyes.

"Fuck, fine. I'll probably show up with Ellie, though," you explained, your shoes padding against the concrete as you walked alongside her, toward your next class. Dina softly squealed in excitement, thanking you before splitting off.

The rest of your day was a lot less exciting than what awaited you in the later hours. You felt a little anxious, but it was just for one reason. Your best friend.

Upon unlocking the door to your dorm and pushing it open, you saw Ellie sitting on your shared couch, manspreading to reach the coffee table. The various sidelamps and hanging lights illuminated the space. You both had a slight hatred for big room lights, your choice in smaller ones giving the space a comforting aura. There was enough light for you to pick up on the outfit she'd chosen for the party. Jeans, and a blue and white button down with a white wifebeater underneath. Her sleeves were rolled up just below her elbows, exposing her tattoo to wondering eyes. She drove you insane, in a good way.

Ellie's fingers were tending to the weed she was preparing to sell at the party, sizing bags as she'd summarize to you. Your best friend was also your roommate, and since she was a rather-lowkey dealer on campus, it wasn't a surprise to walk in and see her with the bud between her fingers.

"Hey," you greeted her with a small smile as you closed the door, locking it behind you as you both usually would. Ellie's attention had already snapped off her task, her bright green eyes meeting yours as you entered. She greeted you back with a smile, her eyes never leaving your face as her hands continued to work. Upon fully entering, you were blanketed in the slight smell of weed (of course) and a lit candle, sniffing and humming in satisfaction before questioning. "Is that cedar?"

"Yeah, it is. Smells good, doesn't it? Did you find what you were looking for?" Ellie inquired a rhetorical question before asking a real one, knowing you were going to the library for a particular book for class.

"Yeah," you sighed, kicking your shoes off by the door. You slipped your backpack off your shoulders, letting it rest on the floor next to the couch before sitting down beside her. "Dina went with me, and she also invited me to Kyle's party."

You didn't bother waiting before just airing it out, wanting to figure out the plan for the night. What you couldn't ignore, though, was how good Ellie smelled. She had hints of musk, spice, and fruits. She tended to switch between scents, but above them all, you could smell her. Ellie had her own scent, and it comforted you to no end. After a fresh shower, it was overwhelming. It was as if the atmosphere was blanketed with the smell of her. You loved it, really.

"She did?" Ellie asked, her eyebrows raising as she sealed a baggie closed before tossing it to a pile of various baggies of the same size.

"Yeah," you sighed again as you placed your water bottle you'd been holding onto the coffee table, making Ellie quirk a brow before a smile began to break on her lips.

"What happened?" Ellie laughed, suddenly becoming nervous as she wiped her hands on her knees, turning her head in your direction as you sunk into the couch beside her.

"Dina wants to make Jesse jealous," you explained, crossing your legs in your lap. "She asked me to help her."

"What does that mean?" Ellie asked, to which you shrugged.

"I don't know, but I said yes," you admitted.

"You what?" Ellie's eyebrows were knit together, her attention suddenly fully on you. Her hands halted from where she was pulling apart nuggets of weed. You watched as her back suddenly straightened after hunching toward the coffee table.

"I couldn't say no! She did the eyes," you frowned, making Ellie roll her own.

"I mean, how bad could it really be?" you defended, watching Ellie's fingers as she pinched weed onto the paper between her fingers, rolling a new joint despite the small pile of prerolls just inches from her slender hands. "If anything, just touching her hip in front of him would be enough."

"So..." Ellie trailed off, realizing that you had most likely agreed to arrive with Dina.

"Yes, we're picking her up," you confirmed what Ellie was thinking. "You didn't give me an option to come to the party, so I figured it'd be fine."

"You were already going!"

"You didn't know that!" you shot back, both of you having cheeky smiles plastered. Ellie didn't mind it, she did mind the task you had at hand, though. She had to admit that the thought of Dina using you to make someone jealous would only have the same effect on her.

Ellie couldn't bring herself to tell you that she didn't like the idea, ultimately ending the conversation as she brought the joint she was rolling to her lips, and you could feel your chest begin to tighten. No matter how many times you've seen it, it continues to have the same effect on you every single time.

You openly watched as she dragged her tongue across the top to seal the joint, and she knew you were watching despite her eyes tracking the paper. You always did, it wasn't new. She just wondered what you were thinking. And oh boy, you hoped she wouldn't realize.

"We have enough time to smoke a little before we go. You game?" Ellie suggested with raised brows as she finished sealing the joint. You knew Ellie had a high tolerance, and that the offer was merely for you. The idea of being a little high when you get to the party put you at ease. You'd hoped you'd feel relaxed in helping Dina.

"Definitely," you replied, sitting up from your slouched position against the couch. Ellie smiled with a nod, reaching into her jean pocket to retrieve her lighter. She then tucked the joint between her lips, sparking the lighter to allow the flame to burn the edge of the joint a bright orange.

Immediately, you were wafted with the smell of it, the familiar smell of herbs, wood, and a slight hint of plum invading your senses.

"Mm," you hummed, watching the smoke escape through Ellie's nose as she passed the joint to you. Her eyes flickered to yours from as you accepted it, lifting it to your lips to pull a drag. You nodded in satisfaction, the taste being familiarly smooth.

"Do you plan to sell a lot at the party?" you asked breathlessly before exhaling the smoke, watching as Ellie reached for your water bottle on the coffee table, handing it to you. She knew you always wanted to have a drink on you when you smoked, the light gesture causing butterflies to swarm in your belly. You accepted it from her as you passed the joint back to her, thanking her before taking a sip from it.

Ellie shrugged as she took a drag from the joint. You watched her face slightly scrunch and her eyes narrow as she stared at the tip of the joint.

Fuck, you thought. You wanted to clench your thighs together, the weed instantly making its way to your core. You knew you couldn't make a move, you were afraid. You had to suffer every single night. Everything you could imagine in a smoking interaction, you've seen it. Her tongue, her eyes, her smirks. It was all too much sometimes, and you'd have to go to bed early.

Ellie passed the joint back to you, to which you accepted before taking a rather-large hit. Ellie's eyebrows raised as she eyed your water bottle, noticing you had added one sticker to it after leaving it bare for so long. A sticker Dina had given you. Why that made Ellie jealous, she wasn't sure.

"A few kids are gonna be there that wanna buy," Ellie finally explained. "We're gonna make a few stops on the way, though."

"Should we leave soon then?" you asked.

"Err," she grumbled, pulling her phone out of her back jean pocket to check the time. "Yeah, probably."

You took one last hit of the joint, Ellie's bright eyes meeting your glossy ones as you finished inhaling, allowing her to take it to finish it off. You then lifted yourself off the back of the couch to prepare to stand, grabbing your water bottle as did so, her eyes remaining on yours eyes she lifted the joint to her lips. The prolonged eye contact had begun swirling more feelings than you'd like to admit, and you needed to avert your attention elsewhere.

"Are you changing?" Ellie asked, eyeing your sweatpants but mainly your ass as you stood up.

"What? Are these not hot?" you joked, turning around to motion toward them with silly jazz hands, causing Ellie to roll her eyes in response and take another hit of the joint, her eyes flicking right back on you as she sucked the smoke into her lungs. You sighed, muttering a drawn-out whatever under your breath as you made your way to your bedroom, which was right next to Ellie's.

Of course your sweatpants are hot. Everything you wear is hot, in Ellie's opinion. Ellie wanted to, but she couldn't stop her eyes from following you as you shuffled toward your bedroom. One thing Ellie couldn't control was her obsession with staring at you, watching you. Her stare was soft, sometimes hungry... but it was in admiration. Upon entering your room, you had decided to change into a comfortable pair of jeans, since you knew it was a somewhat casual party to begin with.

It wasn't long before you were in the passenger seat of her car, controlling the music from your phone as Ellie made various drop-offs. You remained quiet in your seat, greeting people you knew and ignoring those you didn't. Ellie chose which customers to deliver to wisely, not wanting particular people to see you, or try and spark a conversation. She chose the ones she clearly intimidated, and with some spots, she would even get out of the car to avoid them paying any attention to you. Some of her customers were frat boys, and although Ellie couldn't stand them, she needed someone to give less-favorable stuff to. She knew a cocky jock when she saw one, and that's when she would step out of the car. She didn't want to hear their pathetic attempts to bring you into the conversation, knowing well that you had zero interest to begin with.

She tried to hide it, but she was protective. She was cautious of who you were around, all the time, and you couldn't help but feel like she was attempting to shield you. You didn't mind it, though, hence why you never cared to mention it.

As Ellie was finishing up her last deal, her back was against her driver's side window, the only thing you could see being the back of her blue and white button up. You could hear her voice faintly, a deep chuckle leaving her lips before you heard her tug on the door handle, saying her farewells and slipping back into the car.

"Alright, you ready to get Dina? Is she ready?" Ellie asked, shifting the gear from park to drive with her right hand while her left remained on the wheel. Your eyes flickered from her slider hands back to your phone.

"I'll message her," you said, clicking her contact and texting her.

You: we're otw. ellie's driving

Dina: ofc she is. when is the last time you ever drove?

You: wtf i drive sometimes

Dina: LOL since when

Dina: passenger princess.

You scoffed with a laugh, pressing the power button on your phone to lock it before dropping it in your lap. When you arrived to Dina's place, Ellie rolled her window down to greet the girl, with you tilting your head to see her over Ellie's shoulder, waving her to the car. It was a cute sight that Dina would chuckle to herself about.

It wasn't long before you arrived to the party with Dina alongside you and Ellie behind you. Ellie planned to separate from you two shortly after entering, wanting to get her deals over with so she could find someplace to sit. Ellie wasn't much of a... partier. She preferred sitting or standing off to the side, her eyes wondering around her surroundings, and opening dealing from where she sat the entire night.

Most the time though, unbeknownst to you, she would watch you. She would watch you for multiple reasons, one being to purely take your appearance in and appreciate it. What else is a girl to do that's pining for her best friend? Instead of trying the numerous girls attempting to get in her pants by buying from her, her attention is completely taken over by her best friend.

Shortly after entering the house, you and Dina were immediately welcomed by fellow friends. The house was cutely decorated, surprisingly, with string lights hanging off the ceiling.

"Is there a theme?" you wondered near Dina's ear, not getting the memo for the party as Ellie continued to walk behind the two of you, her eyes scanning the house. You continued, "Because I really hope not... I'm wearing jeans."

"No idea," Dina answered loud enough for you to hear over the music. It wasn't blaring, but it was loud enough to make talking difficult. "Kyle shares his place with his sister, they rent together, or something. She probably decorated it."

"I'll be right back," Ellie told you with raised brows, waiting for you to nod in understanding before she left to find Kyle, you assumed. You averted your attention back to Dina, whose eyes were glued to something else, or rather someone else. Jesse was standing off, speaking to another girl. Funny how he was so easy to spot, but it was damning for Dina.

Dina grabbed your wrist, and before you could say anything, you were being dragged toward the bar to get drinks. Dina settled on a vodka cranberry, deciding to make you the same thing. Eventually, after lots of small talk, you and Dina were in the living room, sitting on the couch with a few other strangers, surrounding the coffee table.

You learned their names upon greeting, but the alcohol coursing through everyone's veins had them rather comfortable and giggly. You were playing truth or drink, and you just so happened to choose drink more than truth. You couldn't think of a lie on the spot for some of the personal questions, wanting to avoid mentioning Ellie's name, especially in front of Dina. After what felt like an hour, the auburn returned.

"Hey," you heard a familiar raspy voice from behind you turning your head to see Ellie behind the couch, looking down at you and Dina. Ellie's eyes nearly widened when she noticed the empty bottles on the coffee table.

"Oh, Ellie! Sit down," Dina urged before you could, to which Ellie obliged, taking a seat beside you on the couch. Why would she turn down the opportunity to stick by you?

"Don't mind if I do," Ellie replied, already wanting to sit and relax until you decided to leave. The party was rather calm besides the fairly large dining room, which was cleared to be a dance floor. Everyone was calmly drinking on one side, or loudly playing party games on the other.

Ellie lightly lifted her hips, your eyes unintentionally watching as she lifted her ass to retrieve a lighter and rolled joint from her pocket, not wanting to smash it. Ellie lifted the joint to her lips, sparking the lighter.

"Is this your girlfriend?" one of the girls asked you with a bright smile, you couldn't remember her name, but she was more than gone. Ellie's eyes shifted from the tip of the joint to the girl, the flame continuing to burn the tip until you cleared your throat.

"Oh, no. This is Ellie, the roommate," you explained with a gentle tilt of your head toward the green eyed girl. You had told them a funny story or two about Ellie while she was gone, nothing that would give Dina any suspicions of your feelings. You'd thought about telling Dina you liked Ellie, being good friends and all. It seemed as if you were just more afraid to admit it to yourself, preferring to ignore it and enjoy what you have.

"Oh, your roommate," she smirked, playfully wiggling her eyebrows at you and Ellie. A teasing smile began to tug the corner of Ellie's lips as she exhaled the smoke, glancing over at you.

"Not like that," you laughed, which secretly struck Ellie. You were telling the truth, she understood that, but she wished it was like that.

"Haven't I sold to you before?" Ellie asked, motioning toward the girl with her hand that still had the joint between her index and middle finger. She found the girl fairly familiar, not that it mattered.

"I'm trashed," the girl answered honestly with a flirty smile. "I have no idea right now, but..."

The girl's eyes trailed Ellie from head to toe, and she clearly seemed pleased, "Most likely."

Ellie's eyebrows lifted gently before she brought the joint back to her lips, unintentionally flirting with the girl. Ellie had an effect, that was true. One glance or smile had you convinced you were on her mind. It left you craving her attention, but since you were her best friend, you had it often.

Dina held back a gasp as she took a sip of her mixed drink, her eyes glancing up to the dance floor across the large room. She managed to spot Jesse dancing, but with who, she couldn't tell.

"You want a hit?" Ellie murmured to you, leaning closer to offer you the joint.

You accepted it with your left hand, placing it between your lips. Ellie's eyes immediately began to search for a drink you had on you, noticing the empty cup in your right hand.

"I'm gonna go get a drink, want something?" Ellie asked, instinctively offering as she knew you liked having a drink when you smoked. Though, she also just liked getting drinks for you.

"Sure, thanks," you nodded with a small smile after you exhaled, keeping the joint between your fingers as Ellie got up from her spot, the girls on the couch across from you and Dina going on and on about their own conversation, too drunk to pay attention to you and Ellie's smiles and Dina's longing eyes at Jesse on the dance floor.

Just as you pulled another drag, Dina grabbed your right hand, pulling you up to your feet. She began tugging you toward the dance floor as you laughed, passing Ellie at the bar on the way.

"Hey!" Ellie tried to call out for you as she watched Dina drag you to the dance floor with her joint between your lips. Ellie nearly overfilled the cup of water she was preparing for you, getting caught up in seeing you jog away. She hissed, feeling the cool water run over her bare hand. She then placed the cup of water on the bar top before beginning to make her own drink.

After getting a glass of whiskey, she turned around and pressed her back against the bar as her eyes quickly found you. She watched as Dina spun you around, your usual cheeky smile spread across your lips. Ellie began to feel as if the scene was in slow motion, her thoughts turning vulgar before she could take a second glance at you. The music was catchy, though it was nearly muffled to Ellie's ears since her eyes found you. Despite numerous pairs dancing together in the same room, Ellie managed to spot you. She always could.

Ellie smirked as she sipped her drink, watching you dance with Dina. She couldn't control her mind from wandering as her eyes scanned your body, the alcohol taking its course in her blood. She was completely immersed in you.

No, Ellie, she thought to herself as she finished sipping her drink, a small smile on her lips as she swallowed. She couldn't stop her lips from curling into their form as she caved, her thoughts taking a turn as you continued to dance. Sure, Ellie wanted to be in Dina's place, but the sight before her was something else.

She visualized you underneath her, looking up at her with your usual doe eyes you'd use when you wanted Ellie to do something for you.

"Please, Ellie," she imagined you whimpering, never losing eye contact as she kissed down your chest, between your breasts, then lower, and lower.

Ellie's tongue darted to swipe against her lips in a swift horizontal motion, the icy burn of the alcohol cooling against her tongue. She took another small swig, her eyes glancing back up at you after leaving for a split second to check the glass.

"Fuck, just like that," she imagined you moaning, the thought nearly sending shockwaves from Ellie's spine to her core. Sure, Ellie had heard you moan before, on occasions you thought she was asleep and you would release your own tension. You knew the walls were thin, but not that thin. Ellie wouldn't admit it to you, not wanting to embarrass you but also because she... liked hearing it. Ellie swallowed her whiskey thickly, feeling the coolness of the alcohol drill down her throat. She shook her head to herself, shaking the dirty thoughts out of her mind as she watched Dina bend you backward, your back bending enough to make Ellie choke down a groan. Oh, to be the one doing that to you.

Dina then pulled you back up, your face just inches from hers and that's when Ellie noticed Jesse looking from the sidelines as well. Ellie smirked to herself and glanced to the floor, thinking that Dina's plan was working, and she'd secretly hoped she wouldn't have to take Dina home since it was already late enough. Just as Ellie glanced back up to you, she saw Dina lean into you, her hands on your cheeks, and then it happened.

Dina kissed you. You weren't sure if it was due to the alcohol or the heat of the moment, but her lips were planted directly onto yours either way. Both Ellie and Jesse saw at the exact same time, all movements in their bodies tensing. As much as Ellie wanted to instantly convince herself it was part of the plan, she couldn't control the burning jealousy that began to boil in her stomach.

Although Ellie hoped it was part of the plan, she hated it. She didn't consider how it would feel to witness someone else kissing you, no matter the context. Since it wasn't her, it hurt, even though it shouldn't have. That is when Ellie realized you could have anyone you wanted. Ellie placed her glass of whiskey on the bar top, which was barely sipped on. Her eyes met yours one last time before she made her way out of the dining room.

You watched as Ellie made her way out of the room, a displeased look painting her face as her eyebrows furrowed together in frustration. You didn't understand what suddenly snapped, causing Ellie to storm off after meeting eyes for one mere second after the kiss. In fact, you began to grow a little nervous. She knew it was part of Dina's silly scheme, but you couldn't help but regret it as the auburn disappeared from sight.

"Do you think that worked?" Dina asked you as her back faced Jesse, her big eyes looking at yours as you looked past her to find him. He was staring, and finishing his beer.

"Oh yeah," you answered with a nod, looking back at her. "Is this where you leave me?"

Dina smiled, pulling you into one last embrace. She gave you a small wink before making her way out of the dining room, Jesse following shortly after. You stood alone in the loud room, your drunken eyes scanning the area for your best friend.

Ellie found a small bathroom to slip into, locking the door behind her. The music and loud chattering was instantly muffled, allowing Ellie to let out a huff of relief. She glanced at herself in the mirror, letting out a long sigh at the sight of her slightly hooded eyes. She knew she had to drive soon, and despite not feeling any sort of high, she still looked the part.

Ellie leaned forward and twisted the faucet on, the cool water shooting out against her slender hands. She cupped her hands to collect the water before splashing her face numerous times. She didn't like how she felt, angry. Jealous. She wouldn't admit it if you asked, that's for sure.

"Fuck," Ellie cursed to herself as she twisted the faucet off, wiping off the leftover droplets that remained on her cheeks and chin. She then hissed to herself, "You're being stupid, Ellie."

To pine after your best friend is one thing, but to get overwhelmingly jealous when you see them kiss someone else? That's a slight issue.

The door handle to the bathroom began to rattle, nearly making Ellie jump out of her skin. Ellie quickly unlocked it, no longer needing the bathroom anyway. Her green orbs nearly popped out when she was met with Dina and Jesse on the other side of the hallow door.

"Wha... you know what? I won't ask. Where is she?" Ellie asked Dina, knowing Dina would know who she was talking about.

"Still dancing, I think," Dina said with a smile, looking back up at Jesse as she was overcome with their sudden reformation. Ellie awkwardly stepped out of the bathroom, allowing Dina and Jesse to take the room as she searched the house for you.

After not spotting you in the dining room, she began to have a slight internal panic. Ellie found her way back in the living room, spotting the same girls you were hanging out with before Dina pulled you out to dance.

"Have any of you seen the girl I came with?"

"Oh, your roommate?" one girl teased, nearly making Ellie roll her eyes. "I think she went outside. Looked like she was ready to fall asleep."

Ellie took that as her sign to bolt to the front door, exiting the house. She quickly spotted you next to her car, leaning against the side of the hood with your arms folded over your chest. You looked exhausted, your eyes nearly closed as you hummed a tune.

"Shit, I'm so sorry," Ellie quickly apologized as she approached you, fumbling through her pocket to retrieve her car keys. You blinked, still conscious as Ellie pulled your door open in front of you. "Are you okay?"

"Mhm, I want to go home," you murmured, beyond consumed by exhaustion and the alcohol that continued to make your head spin. You quietly thanked her as you got into the car, Ellie closing the door after you were fully inside. You sunk into the comfortable seat while you lazily buckled yourself, your eyes hanging half-open, threatening to close. You were drunk, but not incapable of simple tasks.

"It's really cold," you softly whined, wrapping your arms around yourself as Ellie slipped into the car. Ellie shoved the key into the ignition, starting the car to get the heat going for you. She then buckled, her arms flexing as she tightened the strap over her chest, glancing over at you to make sure yours was on as well.

"We'll be home soon," Ellie assured you kindly, shifting the gear to drive. You were afraid you had upset Ellie, remembering how upset she looked after Dina kissed you. You weren't sure why, but you had the feeling Ellie had feelings for Dina, wishing it was her instead. Your mind ran and that's when you found yourself outside, waiting on Ellie to go home.

The entire way back to your dorm, Ellie would take occasional glances at your sleeping form. Her left elbow was pressed against her door, her right hand resting on the top of the wheel as she leaned against the door. You were fast asleep soon after the car started, curled into a ball in Ellie's direction. It allowed her to easily catch a glimpse of your face to make sure you were still okay, and to admire.

Ellie was aware of her obsession with staring at you. She couldn't help it, you were gorgeous. She learned every crevice and mark on your skin, the way your lashes would relax against your cheeks.

You entire walk to your dorm from the car, Ellie's hand was gently resting on your middle back, guiding you until you reached your door, her hand then moving to your lower back as she used her other hand to search her pocket for her keys. Ellie was used to taking care of you like this — making sure you wouldn't fall over, exactly.

"I'm fine, Ellie," you'd murmur, though she'd ignore it, since you have indeed fallen on her or the floor numerous times. She managed to swiftly unlock the door and guide you inside, pulling the keys out of the lock with her other hand, then closing the door behind her with her heel. Ellie felt thankful for her tolerance, feeling completely sober as she walked close behind you to your bedroom, stopping in your doorway as you kicked your shoes off.

"You don't have to babysit me," you tiredly slurred, nearly tripping as your hands landed on your bed, using it to stabilize yourself for a moment, a sudden swirl of dizziness finding its way behind your eyes.

"You sure?" Ellie asked, stepping inside your room to help you onto your bed. "C'mon, I got 'ya."

Ellie gently grabbed your forearm, her eyes glancing to your face before guiding you onto the bed. You plopped down rather harshly, sinking into the middle of your bed as Ellie pulled your blankets over your frame. She wanted to tuck you in but she didn't want to be weird with the state you were in, so she merely made sure your entire body was covered, excluding your face.

"Thank you," you murmured with your eyes closed, causing Ellie to smile as her eyes trailed from your eyelids to your nose. She was leaned to your level from covering you, instantly smelling the liquor from your lips, as well as the sweet smell of just you.

"Anytime," she smiled as she leaned back up, taking just one step away to leave until you spoke.

"Are you not sleeping with me?" you whined, reaching to gently tug on her button down, fully expecting Ellie to stay with you during your drunken state. Ellie smiled from how bold you've always been with your words when you were drunk, though they were respectful.

"I want to smoke a little bit," Ellie chuckled at your neediness. Sure, being your best friend and all, she became accustomed to your occasional need for affection, and sleeping in the same bed was one of them. 

"Will you come in after?"

"Maybe," Ellie joked, making her way toward your bedroom door after you released your grip from her shirt.

"Please?" you whined, lightly slurring as you fell into a slumber.

The sound made Ellie want to say fuck it and lay down with you right then and there. She could've sworn she felt her knees quiver, her breath halting as her hand froze on the door handle. It was obvious you were dozing off, if not already sleep talking. Ellie realized you were asleep and quietly snuck out of the room, leaving the door cracked before heading for the couch.

As she sat on her side of the couch in the quiet living area, Ellie could smell the leftover lingering of your perfume, instinctively making her grin to herself. She grabbed a pre rolled joint off the coffee table, something she needed to stop leaving out so carelessly. Lighting the joint for herself, she thought about the party and her reaction. She remembered meeting your eyes for that one moment before she left. She didn't want to leave that way. She was angry, and she hated she was. She hoped you'd forget about it... not want to talk about it.

She was annoyed with herself for not being able to forget about it. She wanted to, she really did. Her mind began to wander as she tugged the smoke into her lungs, softly puffing it back out through her nose and mouth. She watched as it slowly crept toward the cracked windows beside the couch, which were always open, of course.

To avoid the thought of the kiss, she thought about what happened beforehand. The way you were dancing, your beautiful smile, all of it was too much for Ellie to ignore. She couldn't stop the thoughts from running, the rather-dirty thoughts that would lead her to shiver in her seat in desperation.

"Fuck," Ellie grumbled to herself, feeling herself growing wet at the memory. Your smile and the way your back arched was something different. The weed was surely enhancing her arousal, and she quickly got lost in thought about you, sinking into the couch, laying across it as she continued to puff on the joint.

The overwhelming tension in Ellie's heart corresponded with her core, a desperate need for you in particular. She couldn't help herself as her left hand brought the joint back to her lips before she used both to begin unbuttoning her jeans. She needed to release at least a little bit of tension.

Her mind began to wander, instantly picturing you. She wouldn't admit it to your face, but she used her imagination a lot. A lot. She felt wrong... naughty, even. She would be blatantly lying if she told you she had never thought about you while touching herself from being so smitten, but also because she heard you before. She knew what you sounded like when you were making yourself feel good.

Picturing you back on the dance floor and the way she could see the crevices of your neck, the way you smiled as you spun— it drove her mad. She wished she could've been in Dina's place. Once Ellie had pushed her jeans off her hips just enough to give herself comfortable access, her right hand instantly found its way underneath the band of her underwear, her cold fingertips making contact with her throbbing bundle of nerves. Her index finger and thumb of her left hand pinched the joint, pulling it from her lips after she took a long drag, her eyes fluttering shut as her head fell back against the couch.

"F-fuck," Ellie muttered under her breath, nearly sounding like a gasp for air, the sensation sending pleasureful waves through her core as her high only intensified it. She thought about how you'd watch her when she was licking a joint or a blunt when she'd roll. She would notice the way your legs would twitch in the slightest, the way your lips would part ever so slightly. Ellie wouldn't watch you the whole time, of course, because you were watching her. She had good peripheral vision, though, and she took note of everything she could. She always has.

Her fingers then dipped down to her folds, tenderly swirling her own arousal on her fingertips before pulling them back to her swollen clit. Ellie pleasuring herself is a sight, one that no one ever had the chance to see. It was shameful, for if you were to accidentally walk in, you wouldn't know what to do. You would stop in place, your eyes locked on her. She'd thought about the situation before, and had admitted to herself that she would want you to watch.

She just wanted you. In any way she could. She couldn't deny the way she would feel herself grow more and more soaked at the thought of you begging for her.

Please, you had whined. Maybe you intended to make her feel that way, maybe you didn't. Either way, the thought of you begging as she teased you, the sexual tension she had built up over time was astounding. It's a wonder how she never caved, but it was for one thing only. She wanted more than that with you, and the thought of risking your friendship was unbearable.

"Shit," Ellie whimpered under her breath. She wanted to hear you beg for her, but at the same time, she knew that she wouldn't be able to hold herself back from pleasing you the moment you'd ask. She was so distracted with pleasuring herself, the joint was seconds away from slipping between her fingers.

She suddenly brought it to her lips to take a hit, muffling her own moans for a moment as she pictured herself above you, peppering kisses on the pretty, delicate skin of your neck. Ellie imagined saying various things to you, things she would be mortified to admit. It was almost as if she could hear the sounds of your moans, echoing in the back of her mind as she recollected the memory. She wanted to know what you felt like, tasted like, truly sounded like. Ellie knew she could make you feel good, having an internal battle with herself whenever she heard you pleasuring yourself, your soft moans bouncing against the thin walls. You wouldn't say anything besides a string or curses, and Ellie would never tell you that she hoped to hear her name.

"O-oh.. f-f..fuck!" Ellie whisper-shouted, followed by a harsh grunt as Ellie pressed her left forearm against her mouth, careful to avoid burning herself with the joint. She muffled her moans as soon as her peak crashed, her shoulders shuddering and her thighs clamping together, locking her own hand against her soaked cunt.

Ellie laid in the same position for a moment, allowing her muscles to relax as she caught her breath, lowering her arm from her face to glance at the joint. The ash was gone, and Ellie's heart thumped in her chest. She glanced to the side, an obvious burn mark in the couch just inches from Ellie's view.

"Oh, fuck," Ellie groaned, pulling her hand from between her legs to sit up. She tapped the edge of the joint against the center of the ashtray that sat on the coffee table before leaving the joint in it. She then stood up, rather comically, as she nearly fell over from the sudden weight on her feet.

She turned around to face the couch again, her eyes landing on the burn mark in the couch as she buttoned her jeans. She didn't think you would be upset, since it was Ellie's couch, but she wasn't sure how she was going to explain the cause. She reached to scratch the nape of her neck, too exhausted to finish the joint let alone worry about a cover story.

Although you begged her to lay down with you after she finished smoking, the sight before caused a gentle chuckle to erupt in Ellie's throat. Upon gently pushing open your cracked door, she saw you completely sprawled across your bed with zero room for her to join you. She shook her head to herself, unable to control her lips from curling into a small smile as she pulled the door back to its previous position.

Ellie stood outside your door for a moment, letting a soft sigh escape her lips before she turned on her heel and pushed open her own bedroom door, right across from yours. She was thankful you were asleep, unable to question her own inability to sleep as she laid in her bed, eyes open as she watched the city life outside her window beside her. It wasn't often that she would stay up, unable to fall asleep despite feeling such exhaustion.

Ellie was many things, and an overthinker was one of them. She couldn't help but wonder how you felt when Dina kissed you.

It was just part of the plan, Ellie thought over and over again.

Ellie was afraid that if she didn't consider Dina a friend of her own, she would have acted a lot differently. Over the time Ellie has known you, she never witnessed you kiss another person until Dina kissed you, and she had never prepared herself for the sight. The sight of you kissing someone else, no matter the reason. It struck her, and she knew she couldn't tell you. She just hoped you wouldn't question her for her reaction.

TAGLIST @kurosaaki @prrimordiais @bellswlw @rxllingstones @coeurify @dergy @elliesstar @elliephobic

#hazelnutsforellie #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams x y/n #dealer!ellie #the last of us game #tlou smut #the last of us smut #tlou ellie williams #tlou #ellie williams oneshot #ellie williams imagine

[iactuallykissedsharawheeler]

⭑⌗ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐇𝐂𝐒 + 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

✶ let's go ahead and clear that idea that ellie wouldn't be like. immediately obsessed with you and giving you secret discounts on the weed.

✶ she met you five seconds ago and she was like. why would she ever pay for anything?? she's literally my reason for breathing?? (ok babe 😭) so you're getting that stuff for lowest price she can possibly make it. and if you flirt a little?? she's wondering why she's not just handing you the bag for free.

✶ when you guys get closer, she notices you're kinda into pink so when she sees pink papers???? she's SLAMMING that card, best believe. when you're freaking and like HOWD YOU GET THIS she's trying to pretend to be all cool like oh idk just found 'em and thought it'd be funny but if you like 'em you can have them ... i guess 😒

✶ if you're a little inexperienced with it she's a little protective and is like oh i don't think you should try that this one's way better and gives it to you on the house like?? you're trying to pay for it and she's like noooo it's for you just take it even though that was some of her good weed and she never gives that out. but you're nice and sweet and her bestest customer so who is she to charge you??

✶ when y'all are closer she literally just starts buying shit for you. you're like oh my gosh this bracelet is literally so pretty and next time you come over she's like so.. guess what and there's the bracelet in a box under two pretty pre-rolls (that she's also not letting you pay for btw)

✶ n you're so worried about breaking her bank when she does it but she's literally living lavish because she's everyone's dealer and no one with weed isn't getting it from her. (charismatic queen tbh)

✶ plus if you think this is gonna kill her wallet just wait until you guys start actually dating. she's not even waiting for you to ask for shit, she's telling you to put your cart on public so she can surprise you all the time.

✶ you're like babe how am i gonna pay you back and she's like just .. be pretty for me, yeah? 's not hard for you at all. (just flustered myself give me a minute)

✶ and some random things i just think she'd do:

✶ texting you high out of her mind about dinosaur facts because she just knows too much and needs to get it out immediately (she's such a nerd I love it 😭)

✶ trying to shotgun with you but she sees your face lookin' all pretty n dazed, chokes on the smoke, and just simply never does it after that. (give her a week, she'll be back)

✶ reading a shit ton of sci-fi. she compulsively reads savage starlight all the time but she's actually obsessed with the whole genre n can't exist without it atp (she DEFINITELY owns a few space cowboy books and before meeting you she would always imagine she was the lead guy with the hot love interest who was definitely some kind of alien. don't question it.)

✶ if you're a plushie girlie (me fr) she's ALWAYS buying you plushies. but she always buys one that matches yours for herself so you guys are "always together" or something. idk she's a little bit of a loser.

✶ she's so bad at keeping up with skincare but now she just weaponises that and makes you do it for her. literally rolling her eyes and pouting if you do yours without her, mumbling shit like "oh yeah, just forget about ellie, huh? that's what they all do" until you're like babe what??? 😭

✶ also i know that everyone says this but she really does own some weird ass shirts 😭😭 she'll get high and buy weird shit like that shirt that just says tomatoes it's so wild going through her closet lmaoo

✶ and because of her high shopping she also has some weird ass bongs like. seriously. there's a an astronaut one with octopus legs for sure, i can feel it.

✶ high ellie tweets>> she's actually so out of pocket sometimes 😭 some of her greatest hits would probs be

✶ also she was so nervous around you and wouldn't look you in the eye for too long because she didn't wanna scare you but then she got a little bold when she found out you liked girls and then was just straight up cocky when she realised you liked her, too (that blunt flick when dina said she wanted her to kiss her .. yeah that ellie)

✶ she's just the bestest, silliest, nerdiest girl ever and the best girlfriend literally anyone could ask for 💞💞

hey guys back with another banger hope you guys enjoyed make sure to like follow and subscribe‼️ no but seriously give me opinions because i love hearing you guys have little convos and the reposts are always so wild 😭😭 thank you new jersey, and goodnight (also don't look at the tags im shy) as alwaysss creds to @ cafekitsune bc these dividers are so mf cute

#˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ — reine writes ! #ellie williams #tlou2 #the last of us #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x female reader #poc reader #dealer!ellie #dealer!ellie williams #dealer!ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou2 #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams tlou2 #and thats how sue sees it #sorry for the impromptu glee reference

[elsweetheart]

what you heard — part two.

synopsis: you start to develop feelings for your boyfriends dealer. part two of this fic.

♪ what you heard — sonder ♪

cw: reader is dating a man, mentions of cheating, mentions of weed, men being annoying, smutsmutsmut, brief mention of violence. some angst? kinda. i guess. happy ending tho yay!

an: hi! it’s here! thank you for alllll the love on the first fic, i can’t believe how much people enjoyed it! i’m actually super proud of this one, my favourite thing i’ve written me thinks …… anyways yea! there will be no part three so pls don’t ask! ily ♡

It’s been a week. You haven’t spoken.

There’s blue-magenta behind your eyes. It swirls into contours and bubbles, recognisable sights beginning to take shape. Things go stark white, and then pale pink. Chartreuse fades in to khaki green into pale grey before you see a brick orangey red. You start to feel, aware of your senses. The brick becomes hair, and the hair tickles your neck.

You hear next, your own sigh. Your fingers press into an arm — your tight grip creates a white halo in their skin. You grip tighter, you have red fingernails now. You don’t remember getting them painted that colour. Half moons dust their skin from your touch. Freckles too.

A familiar feeling inside of you, that searing, hot, beautiful pressure in your groin. It feels good this time, not rushed and fast. Something smooth drags in and out of you, smoother than you’ve felt down there before. Something smells herby… herby and familiar, mixed with something else you can’t make out. The feeling builds, and you’re being touched all over with tender hands. Hands. A pixelated tattoo — not remembering the details.

The picture gets clearer, and you see your own smooth thighs. The freckle on the centre of one of them. They’re being pushed up rhythmically at the same time, a body slot between them. You see purple plastic now, coated and slick— and you realise you can hear yourself again. Loud, whiny, on the edge of… of something.

“Doin’ such a good job taking me, you look so pretty.” The echoey voice belongs to Ellie Williams and you look up to see her face. She’s wearing the grey hoodie she wore the last time you saw her. She looks the same down to her hair, but — wasn’t her eyebrow slit on the other eyebrow? You become more aware and it switches when you blink. How are you blinking? Fingers brush your clit and you gasp for air, skin on fire. “Better than your boyfriend, huh?” You were struck with euphoria, the sound of the ocean deafeningly loud, roaring monstrously in your ears. White noise. Nothing.

You gasped, and you were on your back still — but this time your room was dark, you were still wearing your clothes, and no Ellie. Your heart thumps, and your body reacts the same way it would as if you’d had a nightmare. You barely catch your breath, and the bed shifts beside you.

“Babe — makin’ so much noise. Woke me up, fuck.” The irritated grumble of your boyfriend. You don’t remember him sliding in beside you, and when your senses arrived back into your body, having been borrowed by the dream version of you, you were hit by the familiar and yet not at all comfortable stench of beer. Louis’ skin was pink and clammy under the moonlight peeking through your window and you felt that ugly feeling you’d been cursed with lately, disgust. It piled up inside your stomach like bile before washing away into the numb feeling of regret. He had gone to a party near by, a frat house — Delta something? Or was it Alpha? Clearly he couldn’t be all that bothered to walk back to his own dorm, staying with you instead. Maybe you shouldn’t have given him your spare key card. You push the thought away, and you try to like him again.

You squint in the low light, fully waking yourself up now. You shifted, thighs clattering into eachother with not much room, Louis taking up the bed. At the shift of your legs, you’re alarmed by the way your pyjama shorts cling to your hot, wet centre and suddenly you’re brought back to reality. You were having a wet dream about Ellie.

Guilty, your head turns to look at the man beside you. The room is filled by his deep heavy breaths, and the scratchy sound your hair made against the pillow when you turned your head. A small brown birthmark splotches on his bare shoulder, and you wonder if you squint, it could look like freckles. Reaching out, your fingers brush over it — and you are ejected from the moment instantly as he groans at the contact, rolling over. To add insult to injury, he thrusts a pillow out from beneath his head and shoves it between the two of you half awake. Message received.

You stare at the square tiles of your ceiling. Ellie Ellie Ellie. You wondered what she was doing right now, probably fast asleep. You lift your head quietly to look at your alarm clock, a bright red ‘02:55AM’ scalding your eyes. She could be at a party still, dealing. You pictured her there, hands stuffed in her pockets, wearing that cute khaki green windbreaker jacket that you secretly loved and her black jeans— her hair up in that messy half up bun. You don’t stop your cheeks from pushing up as you close your eyes, thinking of your new friend fondly. Your eyes felt heavier now, and you let yourself immerse into the fantasy, too sleepy to reject it or bare any guilt for daydreaming. You’re there at the party too, wearing something tight. Ellie notices you right away, eyes flickering over you in that way she has about her which is somehow equally loserish and confident. You walk over to her, and you’re too tired to fathom a conversation — but you’re not too drunk like you were last time, and there’s giggling and touching, and best of all Ellie isn’t looking at any other girls. She isn’t even focused on dealing anymore. She gives you all of her attention.

You fall asleep that way. You don’t dream of her, or anything for that matter for the rest of the night but the sleep is peaceful and you wake up well rested.

It’s 9:22AM when you wake up, and Louis is gone. Probably to make his 9AM lecture, turning up still drunk which you’re sure was absolutely hilarious to him and his friends, whilst the professor was probably hoping he wouldn’t turn up at all. You rub your eyes, and that nagging feeling in your chest kicks in.

One could truly never appreciate those first thirty seconds after you wake up. Still dreamy and disorientated, no anxiety, no worries — just bliss. Until you remember the current affairs of your life, and your eyes open.

Your phone is cold in your hand when you reach over and take it off charge, your free hand rubbing the sleep out your eyes as you suppress a yawn. Your stomach bottoms out, which is honestly sickening so early in the morning, as your eyes immediately land on a text from Ellie herself. Oh God, please tell me I didn’t reach over and text her in my sleep about my daydreams. It was unrealistic, but you definitely wouldn’t put it past yourself lately. You feel a blossom of disappointment bloom below your rib cage when you read ‘30% off for my fav custys. Blue dream, Purple haze, OG Green Kush. Get at me. Can do pick up or delivery tonight 📢🧟‍♀️’ Just another mass text, after all — Ellie was a business woman.

You swipe back onto your lockscreen, and chase the red ‘1’ symbol besides the Instagram logo, following it all the way to your DMS. Oh? Oh.

You see the first few words of the message from the preview, and your stomach fizzes up like shaken pop.

‘hey girl, i know you don’t know me but this is weighing on my mind so i have to tell you. last night your boyfriend louis was at the party down at alpha phi and we made out a couple of times before going upstairs and having sex. i didn’t know he had a gf until afterwards bc someone told me and i feel really guilty. u deserve better babe! just thought i’d let u know. i’m so sorry!!!’

Right, okay. This is not how you thought your day would begin.

You sit up slowly, like you’re worried that if you sit up too fast you’ll freak yourself out. How could this happen? You knew Louis was a bit of a dick sometimes, but a cheater? He seemed kind of territorial around Ellie at that party if you remembered correctly. So why would he wanna cheat?

You stare at the wall. Cry, damnit. Cry!

You don’t. But maybe you’re in shock. You pick your phone up again and text the girl back, a simple ‘thank you, will dump him today’ which you admit sounded kind of casual and hilarious, but you truly didn’t know what to say. You wasn’t really sure what to do. Do you just go about your day as normal? No, you needed to dump him. Okay, yes. First order of business.

Not over text, no. You were classier than that — although he didn’t deserve more than a ‘bye loser!’ text followed by the blocking of his number. You squint outside at the sun, showered and got dressed, pulling another one of your many sundresses over your frame. Despite the nagging, nervous feeling in your stomach it felt like a normal day. Maybe it wasn’t the end of the world.

You sat at your desk, staring at the wall. You’ll get up and go eventually you thought. You stayed in your room for hours.

4:47PM. No music in your earphones today, it didn’t feel right. Your mind was too loud anyways, you weren’t quite sure you’d even be able to hear the music over your thoughts. Your body was on autopilot as you walk. Louis should be getting out of his afternoon class in 13 minutes approximately, you’ll just wait for him outside and confront him there. Quick and easy.

But there’ll be people around, and you don’t want to make a scene do you? What if he’s with his friends and they all laugh at you? You figured it was more embarrassing for you than it was for him. What were you thinking getting involved with a frat boy? Of course he was going to cheat. The building that his class would be in was in sight now, footsteps quickening. Your heart was quickening now too, not with nerves but with anger. Anger at him. Anger at yourself, moreso. How did you let him cheat? How did you let it go on long enough for that to happen? Why didn’t you cheat first?

Your own thought sends you skidding to a stop. That’s… not you. You’re not a cheater. Regardless of what the person you’re dating does, it’s not right. Noise attracts you up ahead, and you see gaggles of students begin to leave the building — class having finished early. You don’t think, just dart left and keep walking. Away from the building, and Louis. Your feet start to hurt in your shoes from the way the soles of your feet are pounding against the bright concrete in the late afternoon sun. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I chickened out. Your brain screams at you and you’re already heading in the direction of the place that quiets your mind. You keep walking until you’re inside Ellie’s building.

There’s no time to think as you walk up to the beige door you knew too well, the familiar whiteboard pinned to it reading ‘Ellie’ in her slightly messy scribble, with ‘Knock first, assholes.’ scribed beneath it smaller. You do just that, you knock. After you do, you stand back — catching your breath from the stairs you took up there. You hadn’t even thought of what you were gonna say. Did you have money on you? Yes. You could just buy some of the weed she sent out the mass text about, and see where it goes from there. Solid plan.

You were too busy rehearsing what you were gonna say to realise that you hadn’t heard any movement from inside her room. An image of her fast sleep, drooling on her pillow napping crossed your mind and if you weren’t so wired up you’d maybe smile. You knock again, a little more timidly this time but feeling the same level of urgency. You tried to recall if she’d ever mentioned sleeping with headphones on? Your brows furrow, and just when you knock again — the door beside Ellie’s opens, a ginger guy wearing a jersey and sweatpants poking his head round to look at you.

“If you’re looking for Ellie I saw her go out earlier. She’s not in.” He rasped, and you’d realised that your knocking had perhaps woken him up from a slumber, instead of the imaginary Ellie who wasn’t in her room. You feel your heart drop a few centimetres before pattering against your chest in embarrassment, face feeling hotter than it already was.

“Oh, okay. Sorry if my knocking woke you up.” You cringe with a polite smile that he doesn’t return.

“She’s a dealer, you’re meant to text before you come over so this shit doesn’t happen.” He grumbles, before sulking back into his room — door closing. Your eyes widen— Jheez. Touchy.

You stare at Ellies door again, rolling your lips into your mouth as you thought. Maybe this was a good thing, fate even. You shouldn’t have come here. You should have just gone straight to Louis and dumped his ass like you originally planned— not run straight to your emotional-support-dealer who was complicating things enough as it is. You could have really done with smoking first though, you realised — which actually made your eyes glaze over with tears. Ellie’s weed was just behind that door.

You finally managed to peel yourself away, shamefully plodding back the way you came. You were halfway down the hall, when the door you were headed for opened — the sound of an oh so familiar laugh reaching your ears before your eyes found her. Ellie was walking along side Dina, the two chatting as your dealer searched her pockets for her keycard. There was a second or two when they hadn’t seen you yet, and you slowed down your pace — eyes raking over her. There was no reason for her to look so good, you almost felt like it was on purpose — hair in that classic half updo and an old white wifebeater clinging to her frame, black backpack on her back with simple black jeans and scuffed vans. You panicked, turning around hoping she wouldn’t see you, realised there was nowhere to run to, and spun back around to the two girls. When you did, they were already looking at you cautiously.

Dina looked at you, and then looked at Ellie, then back at you. Ellie called your name, pace slowing and you smiled sheepishly, praying the embarrassed and stressed tears threatening to spill would get sucked back into your eyes.

“Hey. Sorry I should have texted I was just…” Your eyes remove themselves from her, flying up to the ceiling so that the tears wouldn’t spill. You suck in a calming breath. Why now? Why was it all hitting you now? You glanced back at her just to see her face drop upon inspecting your state, and looked back at Dina.

“I’ll just grab the textbook from you later on, or you can bring it to me when you’re done — it’s chill.” Dina shrugged, and you could tell she was trying to be casual and polite despite it perhaps being an inconvenience to do so.

“Yeah. I’ll bring it.” Ellie nodded vigorously, like she were just about to ask her to do so. “I’ll see you later, D.”

Dina sent you a sympathetic smile before backing up towards the doorway, heading out. You fist at your dress uncomfortably, a silence settling over the two of you as you both watch her leave.

“Uh, come in.” Ellie speaks gently, in lieu of your frazzled state. She taps her keycard on the reader and opens the door, pressing her back to it to hold it open for you before closing it behind you. You watch the way she instantly makes herself at home like usual, kicking off her shoes dropping her backpack, sitting on the bed. You don’t move, just standing there in front of the door watching her. This really wasn’t meant to happen, therefore you had no time to mentally prepare yourself. Your brain was catching up, forcing you to dawdle and have an outer body experience in Ellie’s dorm.

“You… okay?” She raised an eyebrow, eyes flitting over the way you were gripping your sundress like it was going to fly off your body if you didn’t. You nodded, non verbal for a moment, eyes not meeting hers. You seemed to be coping fine before, but being around Ellie made you… vulnerable. Like you were worried that everything would just come out, word vomit all over your dress, and all your emotions were brought to the surface instantly by her calming nature. When you didn’t speak, she did. “You want pre-rolls? I got a couple, I dunno if you got my text.” She starts to reach for her backpack again. “Sorry I wasn’t here — you didn’t tell me you were coming so I—”

“Louis cheated on me.” You blurt and she freezes, ceasing to reach for her bag and reverting to the position she was sat on the bed before. Her face scrunches up a little.

“What?”

“Yeah— he…yeah.” There’s no emotion behind your words now, staring past her at the wall. Her eyes squeeze shut, scrambling for words for a moment as she pushes herself to stand.

“What did— how did you find out?” She exasperates, slowly stepping your way.

“I just woke up to a DM on Instagram from some random girl spilling everything, saying that she didn’t know he had a girlfriend and fucked him. She was really nice about it though.” You ponder, shaking yourself back to your senses. It felt more real now that you had said it out loud, which was kind of comforting in a way.

“Damn.” Ellie whispers, now stood right in front of you. Her fingers nervously graze your arm, wanting to comfort you. “I’m… really sorry babe.” Babe. You don’t have time to register the nickname as she takes action on her impulses, suddenly wrapping her arms around you and pulling you in for a hug. You’re caught off guard, arms hovering for a moment before wrapping around her. You squeeze, and it feels good to be held by her. You nuzzle into her neck as she rubs comforting circles on your waist with her thumbs, your breathing synced up.

“I’m not.” It comes out muffled into her, and she pulls back slightly— warm breath wafting over your face as she stares down at you in confusion. “Huh?”

“I’m…relieved. I don’t feel anything. I don’t… care.” You admit, brows furrowing in a way that made Ellie think you felt guilty for having this outlook.

“Maybe you’re in shock.”

“Maybe I just didn’t like him.” You quickly admit even quieter, like the two of you were having a whisper off. She stared at you, not able to help herself from glancing at your glossed lips, and wondered if you could feel her heartbeat speed up as your bodies were pressed so tightly together.

“No?”

“Maybe I… was already cheating on him in my head.”

Green light, Ellie thinks — infact she’d never known a light greener. She closes in on you, your back rebounding a little off the door, eyes locked in on eachothers lips. They nearly touch, the two of you exchanging a breath when a deafening knock sounds on the wooden door you were pressed against, making the two of you jump. Ellie pulls back, smiling sheepishly at your nervous giggle and she presses into you even more, bringing her eye to the view-hole over your head in the door to see who it was, expecting a customer. She pulls back, face to face and her eyes are wider this time, cheeks reddening.

“Think someone came lookin’ for you.”

Your own eyes expand, and you spin around to look through — a fisheye lens view of Louis stood there, stupid backwards cap on his head and meaty hands stuffed into his board-shorts as he obnoxiously chewed his gum.

Ellie’s heart swells for you when you spin around, looking at her desperately in a panic.

“Don’t wanna see him! I — I can’t. Not yet!” You whisper, breath shaking in your throat and she nods, a comforting hand on your arm rubbing for a moment as she pushes you into the crevice of the wall where the door would open on, hiding you. He knocks again, and you hear Ellie’s neighbour groan, angry footsteps thudding towards his own door through the wall.

“S’okay. Hey, s’alright. Fuck it— uh, I’ll see what he wants.” She nods at your worried expression, opening the door before her neighbour gets to him— boxing you in behind it. You had kind of hoped the sleep deprived neighbour would have gotten to Louis first, giving him a piece of his mind.

“Yo.” Louis greet, uninterested and you cringed, already wondering how you ever dated that. Ellie stared at him, waiting for him to ask about you. Waiting for her chance to chew him out. “Lemme get a half ounce. You got purple haze?” He sniffed.

“Looks like I’m fresh out.” You could hear the anger in Ellie’s voice just from the sight of him, which concerned you whilst equally validated you. She was blunt, tilt her chin up the way she did at that pool party, exuding confidence.

“Damn. What else you got?” He sighed, not seeming to pick up of Ellie’s raging ‘Fuck you’ vibe. She didn’t move to rummage her drawers or invite him in. She simply stood, unwavering. Staring. Borderline glaring, urging him to just get the picture that he wasn’t welcome here tonight. Or ever again, if she was being honest.

“Got nothin’ for you, man.” She held his gaze. He faltered now. Oh? Eyes flitting all around her face like he was trying to work out what her problem is. What did she know?

“You’re all out?” He flattened his voice just a bit more. A tone to his voice that said ‘Are you fucking with me?’

“Looks like I am.”

You heard him shuffling awkwardly, before kissing his teeth and stepping away. “Aight.”

There was no blow up, no gross attitude from Louis, no flip out from Ellie where she’d punch him in the face in your honour. He simply laid down and accepted that he was gonna be weed-less tonight, and fucked off. You peeked, watching Ellie continue to stare him down with her stony expression as he walked away before closing the door softly, revealing you behind it — cramped up in the corner. You looked dishevelled and wide eyed, having had to make an effort to not breathe, let alone speak. She felt her heart just… soften at the sight of you. In a way, you’d kind of resembled a scared stray kitten who’s run away from their big bad owner, and who better to take you in than a loving student with plenty of catnip?

She cleared her throat, stepping back and allowing you to move out of the cramped space behind the door.

“Just hearing him makes me mad.” You huff, walking over to her bed and plopping down on the end of it, defeated. She wipes her hands on her jeans, a little awkwardly — still recovering from your near kiss turned near confrontation.

“Yeah. Kinda took me everything not to kick his scrawny ass.” She shook it off, eyebrows jumping up as she envisioned the scene. You did too, something stirring deep within you at the vision of Ellie beating him, knuckles splattered with blood, angry grimace on her face. You shoo it away quickly, not wanting to indulge in that sick fantasy. You let out a non committal hum, dragging your eyes away from her.

“So did you want any weed? I can hook you up with something…” She took a step toward her black backpack that was slumped against the floor. You shook your head quickly, knowing she wouldn’t let you pay for it yet again given your state and well — as much as you adored free weed, you couldn’t do that to her twice in a row.

“No, no. I don’t think I’m in the right headspace to smoke, you know? Probably not the best idea.” You conversed, staring ahead as you took a long deep breath — feeling the slightest spark of what could be relief that things were finally over, despite the betrayal of being cheated on. You thought you had buried what you really wanted deep inside, turns out it was right on the surface the whole time. Was it that obvious to Ellie how needy you really were for her the whole time? You thought back to your near-kiss a few moments back, heat crawling up the back of your neck like the feeling of being flustered was submerging you in it’s lusty molasses. You realised she was saying nothing, just watching you as she swayed on her feet — nervously toeing at the carpet.

Shit, maybe you’d overstepped.

“Sorry — I can head out now. I don’t know why I ran here I just — I didn’t know where to go. Sorry.” You stood up and Ellie’s eyes enlarged, her own heart thumping as she tried to muster up the words to just speak. She was unprepared, she’d admit — this whole thing was not how she thought it would go down. She’d always imagined you banging on her door in the middle of the night, begging her to fuck you, something about Louis not being able to do it right, and she was the only one who could do the job. You’d be on eachother in an instant, limbs and moans, loud and messy, and afterwards— afterwards is when you’d have the discussion. She’d tell you that she can treat you better, and you’d say that you’d always wanted her. Not… this. This was slow, bordering on awkward. Come on Ellie, get it together.

“Hey.” It came out gentle, and almost like a Pavlov response to her tone, you calmed — eyes melting into a soft gaze as her hand grazed your arm, stopping you in your tracks. “We don’t need to smoke to hang out. I’m cool to just… talk. If you wanna.”

So you did.

You talked, and in no time you were laughing away, problems seemingly forgotten as you laid side by side on the bed. Ellie had some kind of magic about her, a type that inspired time to stop when the two of you would hang out. You wouldn’t notice the sun going down outside the window, or the way your bodies would overtime shift closer and closer to eachother on the bed until your shoulders were pressed together. Your shoes were kicked off and the window was open — bringing a warm, balmy evening humidity into the dorm. At the dawn of summer, the warm and lethargic evenings were one of your favourite things about the season change. They were even better with Ellie, you thought.

“So, did it work?” She was smirking, the laugh clenching the back of her throat like she was on the verge of letting out a ridiculous school-girl giggle.

“Did what work? You can’t just start a sentence like that and expect me to know what you mean.” You picked up her brown stuffed bear from the bed and swat her with it— the memory of the last time you were in her room springing up. What went down on this very bed. Suddenly, you realised what she might have been talking about.

“Shut up.” She chuckled. “My handy tips and tricks. Did you ever get down to having a better time in the bedroom?” She wiggled her brows, the arm furthest from you coming up to rest behind her head as she turned slightly to look at you — face close enough to see the green speckles caressed by hazel in her limbal rings.

“Ellie.” You groan in embarrassment, covering your face (and more so, your sheepish smile.) The smile peeked from behind your palms anyway, and Ellie capsized onto her side, leaning on her elbow now with her own grin — caused by the adorable-ness of yours.

“S’just a question.” Her voice was gentle and flat in her deep drawl, pulling your hands away from your face with the help of her own fingers pulling it away. Her hand stayed on top of yours when you rested it on top of your ribs.

“Do I have to answer?” You squint and her mouth turned downwards in thought with a inattentive shrug.

“No.” That mischievous smile of hers crept back up. “But that won’t stop me from guessing your answer.”

You gaze down at her hand on top of yours. It was cold like it always was — having caught her touch through grazed fingers with a weed baggie between them and friendly arm caresses when running into eachother in public. You wondered how her hands were still cold, even in the smouldering warmth of her dorm. You avoid her smug gaze.

“Well what do you think?” You quieten your voice, smile still lingering as you wiggle your fingers beneath her palm, she squeezes your fingers with her own — pinning them down where they rest. Ellie thinks, briefly distracted by your hands flirting.

“Hm.” She pretended to think. “Maybe. You probably tried to help him, bein’ a good person n’all. But you know… what was it you said last time? You either got it or you don’t?”

You said nothing, considering her guess. She waited, for some kind of reaction giving away whether or not she was right or wrong. When it didn’t come, she prompt you.

“No?” Her thumb was on top of the back of your hand now, her other fingers tucked beneath your palm— her knuckles laying flat against your ribs. The touch being so close to your tits sent your mind reeling and it took you a moment to respond, her thumb just stroking slow languid circles on your own knuckles.

“Since that day I haven’t… me and him didn’t…” You admit, finally braving a glance up to her eyes. They’re intense, as inspected — flickering back up to your eyes from your lips, caught. “He wanted to, but… I didn’t want to even try anymore.”

“And whys that?” She rushed out, internally yelling at herself for the speed in which she prompted you. Patience Ellie, Jesus fucking Christ. You know where this is headed, and if you push too hard she’ll spook like last time. Be cool.

Your cheeks pushed up, and she assumes you’re fighting a giggle at her eager response. Luckily, you don’t mention it. “Lets say you wanted a sandwich…” You started. Okay, what the fuck. Where was this going?

“Uh— sure?”

“And there’s a sandwich store in your town. Their sandwiches… aren’t very good. You think, maybe I’m ordering the wrong sandwich. But all the sandwiches taste the same and they’re all… bad. But then a new sandwich place opens up down the street. The sandwiches look amazing, and everything about it is perfect. Would you keep going back to the bad sandwich store?”

Ellie squinted, slowly sitting up a little more with an exasperated expression as her brain caught up.

“You did all that… instead of just telling me that you couldn’t fuck Louis anymore because you wanted to fuck me?”

You burst into giggles. “I’m shy!” You whine, rolling away from her to face the wall beside her bed. She laughs heartily in disbelief, her hands coming to tickle your waist without a thought.

“Oh you’re shy?” She snickered through your squeals. “Fuckin’ Shakespeare over here — what sandwich store huh? No, really. I’m dying to know where that came from.”

You flipped to face her suddenly, her face unexpectedly close. You faltered, eyes dropping to her pretty, naturally red lips before pulling them away in order to get your words out. “It was the best way I could explain it, okay?”

“Alright, wordsmith.” She was not just smirking, but openly staring at your mouth now, so close her breath was tickling your nose.

“You’re so annoying.” You press your lips together, subconsciously hiding them in nerves.

“Yeah?” Kiss me. Kiss me before I fucking do it.

“Yeah. Always popping up in my dreams too.” You beam, leaning into her a little now. Please kiss me. And she nearly does, but your words hit her and her curiosity gets the better of her. Fuck. She pulls away a little, eyes boring back into yours.

“What dream? Tell me ‘bout your dream.” She’s whispering now, brow jabbing downward in curiosity. You sigh, eyes closing. Why would you bring that up? You drop your head back onto the pillow.

“I just… had these dreams. About you.” You open your eyes. There’s blu-tack stuck to her ceiling tile. Her finger almost makes you jump as it curls beneath your chin with the gentlest touch, turning your face back to look at her.

“What happened in these dreams? Hm?”

You suck on your bottom lip, taking the time to take in all her features. The way it seemed like nothing else in the world mattered, just the two of you laying close on this bed, backed into the corner against the wall. Your cunt was aching — you let yourself realise this now.

“We’d be here. Just like this.” You murmur, your own fingers running up her wrist to meet her hand where it cupped your chin. Her eyes followed your movements, glued to your baby pink fingernails. “We’d be laughing, and talking and suddenly… we’re kissing. And… you’re on top of me.”

Thank fuck for your sundress, Ellie’s eyes were truly blessed — dropping down shamelessly to your tits as they begin to push against the material, already practically spilling out from your compromising position. She realises that you’re drawing in a long breath, followed by shorter, wetter ones. You swallow, panting from the memory. Jesus fucking Christ loops around her head, bouncing off the walls of her brain in an echo-chamber of horny. What next? What happens next?

“And then you’re… pushing into me and it feels good. Better than… better than he could ever make me feel. And you’re telling me I’m pretty… and how good I’m doing… just like you said you would.” You’re even quieter, but your words couldn’t be louder to Ellie. She’s tormented, wanting you to finish off your story, the tale of your dirty dreams — but equally wanting to cut it short by shutting you up with her mouth on yours. Decisions, decisions.

Your brows are furrowed, your hand sliding her hand down to your throat— just pressing it there. Maybe for comfort, maybe just to feel her touch. Likely because it’s turning you on. She can feel your pulse thrumming violently against your skin. Ellie’s eyes are all pupil. Is that your heartbeat or mine?

“And I cum.” You grin slowly in disbelief, eyes glazed over completely like you’ve been crying, brows still pinched in that endearing furrow. “I actually cum. And it’s so good. Because it’s you. And only you can—”

Fuck it.

Her mouth is on yours in an instant, swallowing the surprised whimper when she rolls over to hover over you, her knee pressed between your legs. Her tongue introduces itself to yours quickly, the wet muscles sliding over eachother in greeting like they were old friends. Her hand still cupped your throat where you had guide her and she could barely think, her body on pure primal autopilot. Ellie liked to think she was fairly experienced, but shit — it’s never felt like this before.

Her hands are everywhere. You’re trying to count them because you’re sure — certain even that you can feel more than two sliding over you, pushing your dress further up your thighs, kneading your warm, plush breasts. Your legs are falling open wider, like her tongue had reached a spot in your mouth that had triggered you to just go limp, and with the movement her knee presses up just a little more snug against your hot cunt. You shift on it, on instinct and the friction of it just… you moan.

Ellie can’t help but notice how relieved it sounds, and she wants to coo at you, chuckle and tease you about being sooo pent up, because little Louis couldn’t find that pretty clit. But she couldn’t drag her mouth away from you, having journeyed right down to your neck, sucking and biting— marking you. You belonged to her now, and there was no doubt about that. You couldn’t go back on yourself now, no. Not with Ellie all over you.

You kept shifting on it, experimentally grinding your pantie-clad pussy against her jean covered knee. You don’t even recall ever being in this position with Louis, and you squeeze your eyes shut tighter, huffing out your nose. Get that man out of your head, before he ruins the mood.

You let out another quiet mewl, and God — Ellie just had to pull away and look at you. Just a little bit, just close enough to still be breathing hard into each-other’s mouth. When your eyes fluttered open, she swore she could have died right there. You look flushed, pupils blown out with that needy look in your eye. As the moment settled in, hips still weakly bucking against her knee and hands desperately grabbing at her shoulders — Ellie felt a small tremor beneath your body, like a tiny earthquake had occurred right below you. It travelled up your body, falling out of your mouth in the language of a trembling gasp. Were you…?

Ellie grinned, proudly — brows knit as if to say ‘awwww’. And then she did say it, mouth running without permission from her brain. “Aw, you’re shaking.” She whispered, like it was a secret being shared at a sleepover. You weren’t your usually giggly self now, getting shy on her and turning away — you just wet your lips, tilting your hips for more and pulled her back in to kiss.

Ellie’s hand were pulling at your dress before she remembered to ask, so she slowed down hoping you’d say something. As she peeled away the fabric, dragging your straps down your arms her lips followed, pressing chaste kisses to the warm skin. You sighed at the feeling, melting into her bedsheets and Ellie tugged just that bit harder, your tits free from the dress now that bunched around your waist. The dealers eyes were on them, and then on your face, and then back to your tits when she remembered she was actually allowed to be looking at them this time. Her hands followed, doing what she’d always dreamt of.

The coldness of her palms brought your nipples to a peak and you wanted to roll over and hide again, but you couldn’t — because Ellie was dragging her spread hands up your ribs and grabbing the fat of your tits and it just felt too good. Felt good to be appreciated, analysed, borderline worshipped as Ellie dragged her thumbs over your nipples making a low whine fall from your throat accidentally.

“Shit, babe.” She breathed in disbelief, looking up at you once more and retreating to drop a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You this pretty everywhere?”

You didn’t know what to say, so you said nothing at all— arching your chest into her touch. She gave them a firm squeeze before reluctantly pulling away to continue on her journey down your body, her mission to get your dress completely off still in full pursuit.

She immediately dives in to press a pouty kiss between your tits as soon as she can, letting her top lip drag slightly as she trails her lips downwards to your stomach. Don’t rush this, Ellie — she thinks, and for a moment she fears she accidentally said it out because you giggle. She looks up at you, a little wide eyed in confusion at your dazed titter. Her hands are curled around your sides now, thumbs resting on your rib cage, and your hand is creeping up the back of her head to caress the soft hair there.

“Tickles.” You mutter and she grins wolfishly, shaking her head ever so slightly as she gets back to it. A little impatiently, she tugs the dress down your hips, the material straining ever so slightly before she can slide them down your legs. You help her, kicking the material up and off and hearing it flump onto the floor beside her bed.

She was hungry now, closer and closer to what she wanted but her laser focus was on proving herself. You deserved to feel good, and that’s exactly what she was gonna give you. She needed to show you that she was the better option, that she could look after you right. Her hands were pushing your thighs open now, her face flushed and desperate as she pressed kisses to the inside. She hadn’t even spared a glance at your underwear yet, couldn’t even tell you what colour they were — just fixated on sucking marks into your skin, making sure that the dark purple were visible when she’d pull away with a pop.

Embarrassingly so, you bucked your hips against nothing— the stretch of material spread over your clit just barely grazing the button. You understood perfectly what her game was, she’d bet you’d never been teased before and she was right — but right now you needed her touch, after so long you just needed her.

“Please.” You finally let out as her hands stroke the crevices of your thigh crease, light fingers that tickled you enough to make you buck again. Her nose pressed against the skin beside the lacy leg hole of your underwear as she pressed a firm kiss there.

“Please what.” She didn’t even stop to look at you.

“Please t—ouch me.” You shudder, words nearly cut off half way through. She stops then, eyes wide like she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, before dragging them down to your panties. A soft pink, the outline of your fat lips spread due to the way she’d parted your thighs, the material stuck to them — creating the clear shape. What really caught her eye, was the growing darkness through them — soaked through from just her kisses and caressing. Confidence surged through her once again.

Her two front teeth grazed her bottom lip, bringing them down as if planning to say ‘Ffffuuuckk’ but it died on her tongue, just the ‘Ffffff’ sound whispered out. You watched her pupils double in size, and when she looked back up at you her lids were heavier.

“S’all for me?” She cooed, in this sickly sweet voice that made your fogged brain nearly not pick up on the fact that she was mocking you ever so slightly. You let out a shaky breath, and she didn’t take her eyes off you when she leant back in, pressing a soft and loving kiss over the fabric — right where your clit would be. She watched you then, jaw gaping and brows knitting, she even heard your toes clenching hard behind her because of the way the bed covers shifted. She remembered something being said about you liking when the other person took charge, and she wondered how far she could milk you into that space. How much could she force you to just let go and let her do all the thinking?

“S’right baby, just relax up for me yeah? You’re all tense.” She smoothes a hand over your tummy and Jesus, that was easy — you’re nodding furiously, body tensing and untensing a few times, actively trying to get yourself to follow her command. That’s okay, she thinks — we’ll get you there.

She starts pressing kisses around your panties again, your widened thigh crease, the spread lip peeking out from the material, along the waistband. She hears you breathing hard without looking up. Poor thing, must’ve really been unsatisfied to get this worked up so soon. Her own finger comes up to drag up and down your slit through the material, the plumpness of it having swallowed some fabric into its crease. You feel more arousal seep out of you when her finger tips circle around your clit and press down ever so slightly.

“Teasin’ me.” You manage in a strained whisper, trying to widen your legs even more. Your ankle hangs off the bed.

“Mhm.” She goes back in, pressing kisses to below where she was touching, her nose doing the work in nudging your button. She got to work, her tongue sliding out and licking up the juices that had seep through the soft pink material. You tasted just like she imagined, a little tangy and salty sweet— making saliva collect at the base of her tongue to roll down and soak you more.

The moans were flowing freely when she wrapped her toned arms around your thighs, bringing you down onto her mouth more. Through your hazy mind, you don’t quite recall ever getting to see her arms like this — and you’re just now noting how much muscle she truly had. For someone with a cocky side, she had to be pretty humble to hide them. It made the submission creep up more, the idea that she could do anything she wanted to you bouncing around your brain that was quickly emptying itself like an egg timer.

Ellie looked starved, practically unhinging her jaw to gather the saliva and arousal soaked material in her mouth and use the point of her tongue to push you where you needed her. The friction of the material between her and your clit rubbed against you in all the right ways, and just when you felt yourself drifting off into that hazy relaxed space, the same one you felt when you’d just woken up — your stomach involuntarily tensed and curled with something devastating building up. Surely not, surely Ellie wasn’t about to make you cum through your panties.

You let out a pathetic and almost fearful whine as your hand shaped itself into a claw at the back of her head, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull her away. You didn’t even think you’d be able to, her head moving vigorously with her face buried in your covered crotch. Ellie wasn’t planning on eating you out through your underwear to the point of making you cum, but as soon as you signified that there was a chance she could? It was game. Ellie was competitive by nature, and sometimes that even meant competing with herself. Bet you can’t do it, she taunts herself— and as she pins down your bucking hips that smug voice in her head responds. Bet you can.

You shake, pressing her face in further as you hit a peak — stomach clenching the same way it does when you ride a drop-coaster, seemingly plummeting to the ground on rickety tracks. Your cunt burned and ached as she frantically mouthed at your clit through the thin fabric, tongue working you in such a frenzy that you were certain if she went for any longer she’d burst a hole in the material and get to the real thing. You felt your warmth gush out, the entirety of your panties now three shades darker in colour due to yours and Ellie’s joint attack.

Her teeth scraped over your covered clit as she pant for her own breath and you jerked, oversensitive — prompting her to detach her mouth, instead choosing to rest her cheek above your waistband, pressing breathless kisses to the skin she could reach.

“Ohmy—gosh.” You whisper in the shape of a whine and she looks up at you again, a sheen of wetness around her chin and mouth from her own saliva and what had snuck through the fabric. Her thumb strokes your waist soothingly, a chuckle slipping past her lips.

“That was cute.” Was all she said and you felt the heat burn your cheeks once more. Whilst you were distracted, breathless love stuck smile hidden by your clammy palms she took the opportunity to peel your panties to the side, looking at what she’d created. She let out a warm sigh that brushed over your glistening mound, entranced by pretty much the most perfect pussy she’d ever laid eyes on. Your folds were sparkling in your own juices and she could see the way it trailed beneath you having dripped down from your leaking hole. A string of arousal still remained attached to the underwear she’d pulled aside, and she wanted to explode. She placed two thumbs either side of the lips, pulling you apart a little more and you ripped your hands away from your face to watch — a feverish whimper leaving you from her touch. “So fucking pretty. ‘My god.” She sighs, pink tongue licking a stripe of you bottom to top, savouring in your taste— now unfiltered and louder on her tongue with nothing between the two of you. You let out a sob, still a little sensitive and your knees come up beside your chest, hand trembling on her head. She sucks on your clit, directly this time and it gets too much, your thighs attempting to crush her head like a watermelon. She removes her thumbs from beside your cunt to slam her hands quickly into the back of your thighs, pushing herself deeper into you as she shoves your thighs up, keeping you open. She hums against you threateningly and you cry, burbling out her name and a load of nonsense.

“ElsEllie—Ell—ie— s’too much I’m— already—” you try but it barely makes it’s way past your lips. She pulls away with an obscene pop, choosing to pepper kisses to your pubic mound instead and looking up at you warningly.

“Just take it pretty girl, gotta be brave about it yeah?” Tough love, because she’s desperate to taste you just a little longer. You’re about to protest, something along the lines of ‘give me a breather’ or ‘wait a minute or i’m gonna cum again too fast’ when you feel the coarse pads of her fingers slide up beneath her mouth, applying just enough pressure to the skin around your clenching hole to silence you.

She just rubs, massages the area, attacking your clit with her tongue once more. The movements are more precise, more pointed — the tip of the muscle circling around your button dizzyingly before you feel her middle finger dip into your hole ever so slightly. “Let me have you baby, let me in.” She whispers on you and you’re nodding, against your will, head thudding back into the pillow and nipples pebbled like you wouldn’t believe. You can have me. You can have me forever if you keep eating it like this.

She sinks her finger in, and you go against your brain and squeeze hard against it— like— if she were wearing a ring you’d be able to pull it off, that’s how hard you squeezed. “Hey.” Was all she whispered, a line appearing in her forehead when she looked at you, the trace of something sterner behind her expression. “Not going anywhere sweetheart, loosen up for me.” She stroked your thigh and you whimpered, doing your best.

“M’sorry” you shivered and she forgave you by kissing your clit again, beginning to drag her finger outwards. Not long after, her other finger joined and you went blind for a moment when they pressed up against something soft and spongy.

“Theeeere she is.” She spoke, more to herself as you hiccuped, hands clutching yourself now, self soothing because holy hell — you’d never felt like this before. Not even by yourself. “Thats it baby, good girl.”

You squeezed again at the praise. Good girl. You’d been waiting for it, anticipating your favourite words from all of your fantasies and it sounded better than you could ever have imagined coming from her Texan drawl. She smiled, like she knew — and tsked at you tensing again. From the fresh tidal wave of arousal dripping out of you from her words, your pussy all but squelched when she started to move her wrist again, grinding against that special spot. “S’talking to me, pretty. You liked that huh? Like bein’ good for me?”

You knew she had it in her— but damn— Ellie really knew what she was doing. You swore if she had dared to call you a good girl in a more casual setting before today, you might have just folded and become the cheater you swore you’d never be.

“Mhm!” Was all you could get out as you found her rhythm, working with her as you rolled you hips down on her fingers. Your chest burned with that sappy feeling — admiring the way she really did know how to look after you and give you exactly what you need. You needed to feel closeness again, and you called her name. “Ellie!”

“Yeah.” She cooed in a deep groan, lazily mouthing at you. She drew back for a moment and you thought she would give you what you wanted, but instead she went above and beyond, spitting on your clit before chasing it up with the flat of her tongue. You gasped, threatening to cut the circulation off in her fingers again.

“Ellie.” You sobbed more urgently, mouth actually downturned now like you couldn’t help from actually crying — hot tears resting in the space below your eye. The tone caught her attention and she looked up.

“Whats up baby? You feelin’ good?” Her voice was high and sympathetic, making you push your bottom lip out — trying to gather her thoughts as she continued to press you, fingers grinding inside your gummy walls.

“Yeah. Need to— need to kiss you.” You sniffle and she’s pouting back at you, instantly pushing her body up without taking her fingers out your cunt. Not that you’d let her, sucking them in desperately.

“Okay baby, alright.” She murmurs, getting herself situated on her elbow and bringing her mouth down to yours. You moan when you kiss her, mainly because she gave into your craving of her, but also because you could taste yourself all over her tongue. “Cantastethatright? Tastesgood” It’s muffled by your own lips as she speaks against them, not letting her pull back enough to speak clearly as your need to kiss her had become insatiable. You have no choice however, when you feel the pit of your stomach crying out in familiarity once more at the intense feeling.

“Ohmygod— gonna cum ‘gain Ellie. Oh Ellie!” She recalls you almost sound frightened, like you just can’t believe that someone could make her cum once, let alone twice.

“Yeah? Gonna give me another one?” She pulled away from you so that she could look at you, hand cupping up to thumb at your cheekbone so that your gaze remained on her as she did. Your eyes grew wild and desperate, wet and weak as you tried to be good for her and keep them open. “Thats it, beautiful. God— m’so fucking lucky. Just needed me to take care of you isn’t that right? That’s it baby, that’s my good girl. Take what you deserve.” You can barely hear her at this point, drowned out by the roaring white noise blasting your ears once more, your own moans a backing track. Her lips were at your temple, dropping encouraging kisses but you weren’t there. You’d floated up past her ceiling tiles, no longer a person. Yeah. That fucking good.

You came back to your body, eventually — you’re not sure when you left and when you returned but you could feel now, your own hand shooting out of its weak trance to grip her wrist and cease her movements. “El” You rasp weakly and she slows.

You seemed like you could fall asleep — and Ellie was happy to let you. You looked adorable and sleepy, so she took you in her arms, pressing kisses to your cheeks. “Did so good for me pretty girl.” She whispers, and it’s so warm and familiar like you’d been with her forever. Like that awful man had never been given the chance to touch you. What was his name again? You pout against her neck, letting her manoeuvre you and baby you. She’d clean you up in a little while, for now focused on holding you and telling you how good you did. She’d made you cum like you deserved, and that was two more times than Louis did. Ellie was… satisfied. “You okay?”

You wrapped your legs around her hips, drawing her closer to your body so that she was half on top of you. She chuckled, pulling back a little to look at you. “Hm? Caught your breath?” There was no cockiness in her voice, all gentleness when she cups your face making your eyes flutter open.

“Ellie.” You murmur, your own fingers grazing her cheeks like you were seeing her for the first time in years.

“Thats right, baby.” She grins, sounding like she was proud of you which made your heart swell. Her sweatpants covered crotch fell against your own slightly and you winced, suckling on your bottom lip and lashes fluttering from the feeling of the material against your engorged clit. “Shit, sorry—” She went to apologise, but your leg locked around her ass, pulling her back into you. You wriggled your hips, humping her like a little bunny rabbit.

Oh… you weren’t done.

“Yeah?” She was still smiling, but a darkness bolted through them, something else there, the sweetness disappearing for something more stern. “Want more?”

You’re lifting your hips now, trying to get some kind of feeling against you as your chest rises and falls — back into the swing of it. You felt deranged, like there was chance you’d be this damn horny forever.

She reaches down to grip your hips and thumps her covered cunt against yours a few times making you hum. She looks pensive, and when she looks back to you she’s decided. “You want me to fuck you, don’t you?”

She’s pulling the harness over her boxers, sweatpants discarded next to your dress, before you’ve even registered her practically leap off the bed. The dildo attached is black, and your mind flashes back to your dream. Not purple then, huh.

She takes the time to look at you from a new angle, on your back, knees cutely pressed together. From where she stands, she can see the purple bruises her mouth had littered around your thighs. As she tightens the harness with one hand, she gently pushes you knee open with the other, getting a good look at your drenched, abused pussy. Your arms squish over your boobs, fists beneath your chin as you watch her in adoration.

Before you know it, she’s hovering over you again— leaning over to share a kiss, as if she’d missed you in the short amount of time she’d been apart from you. You feel the tip graze your slit and jolt slightly, fingers curling into her wifebeater. Pushing herself up to be able to see properly, she grips the cock in her fist before flushing.

“Fuck— uh, I don’t have lube.” She thinks, and thinks hard — this cock was undoubtably bigger than your now exes, and she didn’t want it to hurt. The idea of her splitting you open made her clit warm, but she was set on you feeling nothing short of amazing.

“S’okay.” You pout, high pitched and whiny as you tilt your hips down, trying to hump against the shaft — or the tip — or whatever you could reach.

“Nah s’big, babe. Need it nice n’wet for you.” She huffs. “Look, I can run down to the store. I know they sell it there and—”

She doesn’t even realise you’re pulling her desperately onto the bed, falling onto her back until she’s looking up at you. In any other situation, she’d expect you to suddenly be taking charge — asserting dominance, but no — you looked more fucked out than ever, staring down at her with big puppy dog eyes, whispering ‘Please’ over and over like a prayer.

She cups your cheek, pressing some of your hair against your face from her grasp and is about to clarify on ‘Please what, sweet girl?’ but the words catch in her throat when you crawl down her shakily, licking your swollen lips at the sight of her plastic cock. No way.

“You sure, baby?” The words died on her tongue as you start to mouth at it, pink tongue flattened desperately against the shiny strap. A low moan sounds from the back of your throat as you continue licking it like it had some kind of heavenly flavouring. Now Ellie knew it wasn’t strictly her dick, and maybe it was the way you were pressing the strap down into her crotch — but she couldn’t stop the curses from flying out. It felt… good. You drooled, the pearly, bubbly sheen dripping down the shaft before you took the tip of your mouth, obscene moans and sucking sounds bouncing around the room.

You pulled off with a pop for a second, glancing up at her with your hazy, submissive expression she’d grown fond of fast. “Feel like a slut.” You groan, high pitched and girlish. You had worry in your expression, brows knitted and eyes watery — but it didn’t quite meet your actions as you went back down, taking as much as you could in your throat. Ellie smirked, entertained as she pulled any hair out your face — watching your ministrations.

“You can be a slut for me if you want, it’s okay. Won’t tell anyone.” She cooes. You blink up at her, suckling on her tip. “Yeah. Don’t wanna be a slut for just anyone though do you? You want me to slut you out, like you deserve.” It doesn’t come out like a question in the slightest, her back teeth gritting when she watches your lashes flutter, eyes threatening to roll back. You pull off, dropping demure kisses to the now wet shaft. “You shy now? Come up here.” She’s grinning and you practically leap to straddle her.

You’re not focused on what she’s doing, busy kissing over her cheeks — and you’re suddenly confronted by her shifting you into position, sliding the wet tip through your velvety, leaking cunt. “You want it like this? Like how I taught you?” She tilts her head to look at you and you nod frantically, stopping yourself from lurching forward again and kissing every freckle on her face. Gotta be good for her, gotta be good for her — round and round your head like a broken record.

“Want it Ellie, please.” You whine and she’s shushing you, hot pressure searing within when she pushes in. It’s just like you dreamt, smooth— but small ridges catch inside you making you heave out a high pitched moan into her neck. Her free hand smoothes down your back, comforting you.

“I know.” She croons. “Gonna be a big girl and take it all, yeah?”

It takes you everything not to destroy the progress she’s made inside you and clamp down like a vice, so you fling in the opposite direction, arching your back into her to widen yourself. She feels this, feels you trying to help her push it inside and kisses your forehead. “Such a good fucking girl.”

She wants to give you time to adjust to the size, but as soon as it’s all the way in you rock against her, sliding it in and out. You choke out a pained whine and she tsk’s, holding you still.

“See? Just not cut out for doin’ any of the work are you?”

Something awake deep down within you past the submissive fog wants to be offended. But she’s right. You want whatever Ellie wants, and if she wants you to lay there on top of her and take it— that’s what you want too. She speaks again, and you almost hit a sudden orgasm, her feet flattening on the bed as she slowly bucks up, doing all the fucking for you as you lay limp on top of her. “Thats okay. Just my pretty pillow princess. Yeah, that sounds right doesn’t it.” She pants lowly, but the words echo around your head like she screamed it.

“Feels — so — mmpghm” Its muffled into her shoulder anyway, and her hands grip your ass cheeks, spreading you wider to take her deeper. You mewl.

“Oh that’s the spot, isn’t it babe.” The smugness is back, and you let her speed up, pounding that sore but needy spot inside you. “Fuck, gonna make me cum too with those pretty noises.” Her teeth are grit, and your mind reels. You didn’t know that was possible.

At this point, Ellie was beginning to use you to get off. The way she was tugging you back and fourth on her lap had you sliding the harness right up over her clit, the ridges inside pressing her through her boxers. If she could just hold on a little longer, put her focus back on you…

“Wish you… wish you could—” You choke on your moans, about to hurtle over the edge.

“Could what, hm?” She purses her lips, focused on her movements.

“Could cum inside me. Oh!” It hits you, and maybe it was your own words that did it. But she’s bucking off the bed soon enough, right behind you as her stomach tenses. The idea of her pearly white cum fountaining out your cunt when she’d unplug you making her go into fucking overload. She got sloppy, chasing her high but it was okay — you were crying again, the strap barely moving inside you from your clench but it didn’t stop Ellie from grinding, toes clenching and eyes squeezing shut. Fuck, fuck, shit. She was cumming.

You were pretty sure you blacked out. Because suddenly your eyes were fluttering open, senses returning to you slowly and you were just catching Ellie slipping into the bathroom, laying on your back now having been rolled over. You closed your eyes again sleepily, listening to the clattering of the harness hit the floor and a sighed out ‘Fuck’ from the dealer herself. The tap ran, and you dozed a little before Ellie returned with wipes.

“Mornin’ babe.” She chuckled, voice a little hoarse as you blinked up at her sleepily.

“Come n’cuddle.” Your voice was more hoarse, coming out cracked and squeaky. If you weren’t so sleepy, maybe you’d get shy about it.

“Alright, hold your horses. Need to get you nice and cleaned up first.” She shook her head, smiling at you affectionately as she settled between your thighs. Once she had wiped you up, helped you to the bathroom to pee, and pulled an oversized tshirt of hers over your head — then finally she was snuggling up beside you, pulling the blanket over you both. “There we go.” She stretched, arms above her head for a moment before they wrapped around you. “Ugh, I kinda stink.” She turned her nose up and you giggled into her chest. “Sorry bout that.” She chuckled.

“Don’t think you have to be sorry about anything ever again after that.” Your sweet voice is muffled, and your face warms again thinking about all the vulgar things she just did to you. All the vulgar things you did. You clamped your eyes shut, thinking about the desperate way you sucked her off.

“Good to know. In that case, definitely won’t be the last time I’m pulling that trick out.” She joked and you pulled back to look up at her with lovey-dovey eyes. She panicked, misreading. “Unless you don’t wanna…uh—”

You rolled your eyes. “I do. I want… I want you. Completely.”

Her expression softened, thumb drawing mindless shapes on your shoulder. “Yeah?”

“If you’ll have me, of course. Obviously gotta take care of… you know who, first.” You cringe, thinking it’ll surely ruin the mood.

“Can say his name you know, he’s not Voldemort.”

You giggle, snuggling back into her. “Just don’t wanna. Don’t wanna hear about that man ever again.” You smile, pressing the fat of your cheek into her small bust.

“I’m down for that.”

You let your eyes grow heavier, and when you’re silent for a few minutes — Ellie thinks you’ve fallen asleep. She smiles, in disbelief at the way things have turned out before turning her head to Dina’s textbook on the desk that she was meant to deliver to her at some point. Oops.

When she turns back to you, she almost jumps— your owlish eyes blinking up at her.

“Ellie, would you say a hot dog is a sandwich?”

She gapes down at you. “Hello?“

“Well I was talking about sandwiches earlier so now it’s on my mind!”

“Oh man, now we’re gonna have to argue. Who the hell said hot dogs are sandwiches?”

The two of you laughed, launching into a sleepy, delirium fuelled debate — and the world outside seemed to be held on pause. Maybe the reality of things would settle in tomorrow, but for now — you would just enjoy each others presence like you’d wanted to since the first time you’d met. This time, with no obstacles.

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