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good-beanswrites · 7 months

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Could I request "cooking is an art form" with mahiru and presumbly orekoto? I read your Night drabble of those 2 and now the idea of a potential friendship has been stuck in my mind for days, that was probably the sweetest interpretation of him I've seen! Mahiru can't cook in the current state she's in though so I guess orekoto could act as her hands...?

Ah thank you so much!! I was so worried about doing Orekoto justice, that's so exciting you enjoyed 😭 We still don't have a ton of characterization for him, so bear with me, but I absolutely loved writing this. Thank you so much for the request -- with food playing such an important role in Mahiru's story/symbolism, and the pair's unique relationship, this made me so crazy to think about !!!

The knife twirled through Mikoto’s hands. He brought it down with a grunt. Emotion pulsed through his veins. He went back for another swipe, much harder than necessary. He wiped spatter from his face.

“You’re making a mess.” Mahiru observed from behind.

He glanced back to find her scowling at the tomato he was taking out his frustration on. “Who gives a shit? We’re not on cleanup duty.”

He wasn’t supposed to be on cooking duty, either. It was Mahiru’s night according to their usual rotation, but she was in no shape to do any physical activity. Mikoto must have volunteered, and also gotten into some fight about it, because now there he stood: angry at an unknown source, full of adrenaline, and worst of all, in charge of tonight’s curry.

“I suppose…” Mahiru said. “I think that’s Muu tonight, I’ll apologize to her later.”

It was unsettling, how she remained positively cheery as she walked him through each step of the recipe, despite her current condition and his bad attitude. Not that he’d ever turn his anger on her. Mikoto approved of her, and that was enough for him. She’d been going through so much at the hands of their common enemy, he wouldn’t say a single thing against her. Even as she tested his temper with her cooking instructions.

“No, no!” With her good hand, she tugged on the side of his uniform. “You have to turn the carrot as you cut it. Like -- yes, like that!”

Mikoto rolled his eyes as he did what he was told. “It’s all going to get cooked together anyways, it’s not a big deal.”

“It is! You have to take your time with things like this.” She placed her hand over her heart. “It’s about the process, not just the final product. Cooking is an art form!”

“It’s about the final product to me. I’m fucking starving.”

She was briefly distracted with the next set of instructions, telling him how to combine everything over how much heat. When she returned to the topic, her lighthearted voice was laced with a bit of desperation. “I mean it, there’s something magical about pouring your heart into something for someone else. Putting in your time. A little finesse here and there.”

“I know what it’s like to do something for someone else -- and there is absolutely no finesse involved. Or potatoes.” He gestured to the cut pieces before dumping everything into the pot over the stove.

“One of the most universal love languages is food, you know? People make meals and treats for their loved ones in every culture, in every time.”

“They do a lot of other things, too.”

“You went to art school, you understand. This is an expression of yourself!”

“It’s a waste of time.”

“It’s the surest way to help someone!”

“That’s a load of bullshit.”

There was a pause. Then a nervous laugh. Then, “yeah.” As she dropped into more uncharacteristic silence, he stole a glance at her.

Tears poured from her eyes.

“Mahiru?” Fuck, he didn’t mean to make her cry.

“It is.” she hiccuped. “I thought… I thought it could save him. I made this big meal… I thought… But I was so stupid…”

She buried her face in her hands, offering weak apologies for the sudden outburst. He threw the lid over the pot before stepping back to her.

“Hey, hey. Come on. Don’t cry.” It was a command rather than a comfort.

She didn’t listen. She just continued sobbing and blubbering on. “It was all stupid, worthless… I should have known…”

He crouched by the wheelchair. There didn’t even seem to be anything wrong, they’d just been talking about food. Why was she such a mess? He gave an impatient sigh. No reaction. What was Mikoto’s nickname for her again? “Listen, Mappi --”

She snapped her head up to look at him.

Her teary eyes flicked all over his face, making him scowl. “What?”

“Oh.” Her shoulders relaxed, though her breath still hitched. “Sorry. You said… and well… I thought you’d gone away. I want you to stay.” She took his hand. “You.”

His eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“Because you understand me.”

He did not. Like, at all. But he kept his mouth shut.

Thankfully, she was too talkative not to explain herself. “You love someone very much. That love turned out to be dangerous -- deadly. And you weren’t forgiven for it.” She pressed her lips together, suppressing the wave of emotion that almost overcame her. “And now we’re both getting what we deserve for it.”

“Like hell we are.” He felt the spark of rage again. “Neither of us deserve any of this shit, okay?”

“But --”

“No.” He glared at her. That familiar fire rose up inside him. “I’m tired of all your speeches and optimistic crap. You’re always falling over yourself for others. You’re pathetic. This place is hell, so you need to get your shit together and act like it. You might be willing to forgive the others, you might be able to treat them with that stupid sweetness all the time, but no one’s going to do the same for you. Stop letting them fuck with you.”

She gaped at him. He realized he’d leaned in very close. He prepared himself for more tears, or maybe some cowering away from him. Good. Mikoto didn’t need people like her who would convince him this verdict was deserved. He didn’t need any of these people. It was fine to push them all away.

Mahiru surprised him by leaning over. Her head rested on his chest. “It’s hard. It’s so hard, Mikoto. But… I’ll try.”

His attention was quickly ripped away by a hissing behind him. He yanked himself away from her to run to the curry, which was bubbling and burning and spilling out of the pan all over the stovetop.

With an outpouring of profanities and clattering of dishes, he cleaned the sad remains of dinner off the burner. When he looked back at Mahiru, she had dabbed at her eyes and composed herself slightly.

“It’s okay,” she said, “I’ll pick something easier you can make instead.”

“Nah, I’ll make more curry. Tell me how much of everything again.”

“A-alright.”

His agitation slowly faded as she began her gentle instructions again. Though he had just tore her apart for it, he was grateful for her patience with everyone around her. He probably could have left, then, seeing how calm the kitchen became. But he wasn’t risking ruining the meal a second time with an unexpected switch.

And maybe Mahiru’s words still played through his mind.

The food was back on the stove in no time. He stood diligently next to it. They’d lapsed into a content silence. He still didn’t know what had set her off earlier, but wasn’t about to ask questions.

Mahiru had regained her usual bright smile. “Hey, when I get better, I’ll cook something for you, okay? I think you don’t appreciate cooking because no one’s made something special for you before. I want to do that.”

He sneered. “Heh, sure. And I’ll let you in on my preferred art form.” His words were layered with sarcasm. By now, she could guess that included destroying things by putting all of one’s might behind a powerful swing.

But she giggled, completely unfazed. “Well, friendship is about give and take, right? I’d love to try.”

#milgram #mikoto kayano #mahiru shiina #trying to find a balance between his canon violent temper and harsh mannerisms #while showing hes not uncontrollable/frightening and is very protective of his friends as well as himself #he cares but he can only communicate very simply/bluntly #hes used to people being afraid of him specifically so hes suspicious of kindness (but still it means a lot to him)#i wasnt able to articulate it here but i think mahiru likes him so much because of his honesty #when she thought he looked like a cheater it was because she could pick up on his secrets/lies (even if he was unintentionally keeping it)#that and the fact she thinks theyre very similar #i mention he loves bokukoto -- this genuinely could be platonic or romantic depending on your thoughts #but mahiru definitely assumes its romantic asdfsdfds #omg the mental gymnastics i was going through when i first got this request because i wanted this exact setup but knew milgram wouldnt allo #prisoners to just be around all the dangerous utensils and kitchen items -- they could just steal a knife after all!#so i had all these meticulous plans to make it work and then amanes vd was like 'yeah anyone can just pick up a blade whenever' -_- ok #thank you again!! it really did make me crazy to think about it was such a good combination 👀👀👀#and i really was so relieved to do his character some justice ;-; thank you for your kind words!#drabbles

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commander-gloryforge · 5 days

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#damn . if i like. ever did something wrong i wonder why they dont just talk to me about it #like idk i thought when they like. vagued about *someone* i had to convince myself that it wasnt me #like i literally went through our messages to make sure i didnt say anything wrong #but apparently it was me after all? i just wish they wouldve. idk. talked to me about it #it feels so hypocritical? why are you allowed to say what you think and im not #unless i actually did what you claimed but i cant remember this happening nor can i find messages where it happens #and even then instead of vaguing about me when you know im not doing well you can just approach me #or is there a whole different reason? do you avoid me because of something else? am i just not on your level after all?#if it was any other person i wouldnt have cared so much but they were one of the first friends i made there #we worked out so well in the beginning and now you realised im not who you thought i was and instantly replaced me #why does this shit ALWAYS happen to me? is there something wrong with me or is it everyone around me?#this is why i dont approach people. this is why im so intimidated by others. it doesnt work. ill always end up being less.#everyone always ends up being better and more and i am the replacable one. idk. just sucks

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proserpine-in-phases · 6 months

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I hate how every job says they're looking for a person like this because I am none of those things? Where are the jobs willing to pay top dollar for an unmotivated unprofessional cold unpersonable non starter who is disorganized and pays very little attention to detail?

#also i wish my guidance counselor in high school had sat me down and said dont go to college without a career plan #instead of what he did do which was tell me my grades are so good i absolutely should go to college #wish he had said at least make sure you get an aa in like accounting or something to fall back on #am i bitter about never finding a job that uses my degree that wouldnt also include needing grad school?#kinda #capitalism makes fools of us all #crap #its shut down week at the ethanol plant that does nothing with my english or fine art degrees #and also nothing with my 15 years of retail and customer service experience either lmao #i fucking hate shut down so much it is inevitable i start thinking of quitting even tho i am making more money than i have in my life #how fucking insane is it that jobs that require a masters degree will pay 15 an hour and yet this job that requires a ged at most starts at #like 25 and this plant actually starts low judging by what other plants are offering like damn #every job ive ever had needed no degree at all how much farther ahead would i be if id just gone straight to work?#like i fucking loved the college experience but it didnt do a fucking thing for me other than saddle me with life crushing debt

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illustrious-slimeman · 2 years

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Self-Aware Mario guys for my pal @flamefran

Sorry it took so long, I had to remember how to draw literally everyone aside from the old men :)

(poses are from mario party 3 because I thought they were cute)

#hlvrai #hlvrai gordon #bubby #dr coomer #tommy coolatta #benrey #yes benrey is a goomba #it was the only possible way i could think of drawing him where people wouldnt imagine him kissing gordon #im sure they would still find a way but i did my best #frenrey shippers come beat me with a mallet i dare you

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niishi · 4 months

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Sensory issues that make me not want my hair to touch my neck/ears

vs.

chronic migraine disorder that can be triggered by wearing my hair up for too long or wearing anything on my head at all

vs.

ppl telling me they like me more with long hair&making me feel insecure about having short hair

#im gonna kms #its an every day issue #i dont have this problem when i have short hair #but i HATE feeling judged i get so hyperfocused on it and it makes me so sad and i cant cope w it tbh #its something i work tirelessly to change by trying to be mindful and not give a fuck but #its HARD #so many ppl express how much they like my long hair better and I just wish they'd keep it to themselves #bc now im like rlly insecure about having short hair again #idk.... i remember back in the day when i was working at the smoke shop and had short hair #there were a bunch of girls who would express how good it looked and how theyve always wanted short hair but #their face was too fat or it wouldnt look good on them #and i would encourage them and tell them if its what you want and it would make you happy then it will always suit you and look good #no one in this world has a “face” for short hair #all of our faces suit whatever hair we want for ourselves #but pol have this opinion based off of society constructed beauty standards #and will just outright way or imply #that you look better following those standards #i think ppl should find happiness and self confidence more attractive than adherence to beauty standards #i successfully convinced one of my coworkers and an old and younger customer to cut their hair short #and they were so bright and excited to show me after they did it #and i hyped them up to hell and back like it made me emotional bc it takes courage to embrace your happiness #despite others judgements #im just #not as brave anymore #im rlly tired tbh #anyways srry im just emotional bc my head hurts and im overstimulated from my hair touching my neck jshfjekduriwj

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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Yayoi Dojima should've stayed Chairman. Sure there'd be no further games w/Tojo drama b/c they'd have gotten they're shit together but she deserves to kick their asses.

no but actually let that woman stay in charge !!!!!! LET HER COOK

#snap chats #yayoi if you gotta have daigo here at least make him like. idfk patriarch of the dojima family then fuck it #i just think yayoi wouldve been the best chair woman ever #no im not biased im right and my supporting argument is that she married sohei #ok she's resilient she's a soldier she's based #yakuza 3 conflict who ? dont know her see daigo wouldnt even have gotten shot #yall think yayoi woulda sold kiryu's land. 💀💀#PART OF ME SAYS YES BUT PART OF ME IS LIKE 'does she respect kiryu enough not to do that or' 💀💀#either way kiryus gonna start swinging #yakuza 4 conflict dont even exist if mine didnt neck himself. yayoi prob woulda told katsuragi to kick rocks #daigo too friendly that his problem yayoi knows how to throw hands and when not to #yakuza 5 plot its like. My Son's Missing Mine Find Him #mine has to drag daigo back to the tojo kicking and screaming #'no mine please i have to repay this debt to my high school classmate who barely remembers me :(((((('#mine's not having it daigo needs to get his priorities straight and now he's gonna hear it from him AND his mom #top ten cringe son moments #yakuza 6. tojo aint even involved in y6 lbr LMAOOOO #and yakuza 7. i mean that can go as it did thats like The One Time daigo did something smart #and i reckon yayoi prob woulda come to a similar conclusion as he did listen he had to get his smarts somewhere #no matter how limited they seem sometimes hes smart #i rambled too long jfc anyways Stan Yayoi

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seraphim-soulmate · 1 month

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so how do I reconcile with just having big baby loser brain that decided I'd be mentally ill and perpetually stuck suffering instead of having just dealt with my shit in a more normal way? or is there some neuroscience that can explains that I don't have a cringefail brain but it's actually something else??

i mean. it's shame. shame I feel for struggling with things i consider i shouldn't struggle with, which i guess is kinda stupid bcs when i take a step back i realize it's understandable that im struggling with certain things ive lived through. being stuck in them doesn't entirely make sense, but I'm willing to accept that my past shaped me. not to mention that I'm also somehow kind of constantly going through really hard situations on top of also dealing with my past? but it also all (mental illness and emotional sensitivity, I mean) started with something, and my early childhood was my parents getting divorced.

but I consider that banal, plenty of parents get divorced and it doesn't mean their kid suffers from treatment-resistant depression and ptsd. I guess divorce is so normalized now that i don't consider it a valid thing to be traumatized over, at least not to the extent to which ive experienced symptoms. but I was separated from one parent, always missing one or the other, without any explanation that could make sense to a child's brain about why any of this happened and why i have to suffer because of it. can I get rid of the shame by validating the struggles I went through? would that make me feel better about having been disabled by my life experiences?

#personal #me #mental health #i don't mean this as an insult to other people who also struggle with the same shit i struggle with #its just rn im in quite an awful state and its a question that keeps replaying #but writing this out did make me realize how cruel it is to think this of myself ig #it doesnt make the thought any less extant though.#like is it that my brain and biology were structured this way? did i have a predisposition and then life events made me develop like thi #this*#its also possible its autism. but i don't know enough to know how to cope with that either.#from what I've gathered it means i actually have a genetic difference that made me more vulnerable to emotional difficulties?#i dont know what the point of finding out the answer to this is either. i guess to justify why its okay for me to be like this.#because so far it doesn't seem right. it doesnt make sense that i have this many mental issues.#maybe my expectations are unrealistic.#idk my psych at some point said i have these things in place so i wouldnt just fully lose my mind.#and i thought id gotten to a place where i didnt need dissociation as a coping tool anymore #but then more things that are super overwhelming keep happening in my life #and chronic pain plus sensory issues arent things that make you want to be present in your body either tbf

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rapidhighway · 10 months

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i have to go get a pen

#NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I CANT DO IT I CANT DO IT I NEED TO ACTUALLY DO STUFF TOMORROW I CANT GIVE MYSELF ANY OTHER TASKS #nnndsffdnsfngffggee #listen ive been TRYING to do this stupid thing for over a week now i managed to sit down to it for like half a day a few days ago i did lik #half an hours work this is all i got man i cant do it AAAAAAAAA #it would be better if i just started but its so hard for some reason #i used up all my strength to do work i cant do it anymore i need to chill i need to laugh and have a good time #god i went to so many people with this and everyone says just force yourself sir i would have to force myself to force myself do you see ho #that would work?????? IT WOULDNT #idk man idkkkkk #some of this isnt even that hard to do i just have a mental block because the sole existence of this stupid assignment #brings up so much stress just from memory of it AAAUUUGHHHRRFDHFSDBGFGFDFGD #i just want to be free of this!!!!!!!!!!#but im literally finding anything to distract myself from thinking about it #dude theres no way ill be able to keep a job i will literally kill myself if they make me do anything i dont feel like doing #AAUURFHDSFDFS #this post evolved into something terrifying ok bye

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waspstar · 3 months

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something a lot of band fanbases on tumblr do that really irritates me is that they'll post a photo no ones ever seen before with no context and then caption it with a woefully unfunny one liner and then when you ask them the context of the photo 6 times out of 10 they will not answer or not give you a source for the photo. and like they assume everyone knows waht the photo is from already. andif you dont then youre just an idiot i guess. info sharing in band fandoms in general has always been kind of an enemy to me. like am i crazy or do so many fans leave other fans in the dark about stuff and gatekeep things like photos or interviews or information in general. its so odd. maybe i am crazy. i have insecurity issues so maybe im imagining things. maybe im just projecting or something. i dont know. not sure

#they'll like post a photo of one of the members thats significant in some way to the bands history or a moment #even like something that was once said to not have pictures taken ever. and its like woah where did you find this clearly significant photo #like what do you think others dont care? i care. why should i have to askyou. why should i pry this info out of you. why is this the only #place im getting it #or they'll post something else it just. its something with a wide range of examples #you'll ask for a source and its either an ai generated article from this year or like. something someone told them 5 years ago #i know this is often the way of bands. i dont like hearsay in bands. i dont like oh someone said so and so did this weird scandalous thing #but i wouldnt know for sure bcs someone told me 20 yrs ago on livejournal and also we were both 13 #i dont know where im going with this. i just want band members and musicians in these fanbases to be treated like people #and i think theres a vague level of dehumanization when you start indulging in odd rumors about them #even if they have a sliver of proof most of the time the rumor doesnt even matter much #and obviously this goes beyond music fanbases. just saying it from the perspective of someone whos been in several #''been in'' is of course thinly used bcs i really dont interact with fanbases often. i just. observe. bcs im shy #ummm anyways. thanks for reading all of this if you did. idk #have you seen jackie?

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upsidedowngrass · 11 months

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i've always found it odd that stone knows everything and yet their plan failed so hard. like there's no way in hell that was the optimal sequence of events to rescue the contestants. maybe they aren't as omniscient as they claim.

the way i see, they actually ARE as omniscient as they say they are!! the thing is, is that it seems that their ability to know future events isnt set in stone (pun not intended), because it also accounts for EVERY variation of events, every way a person could act, how stone THEMSELF acts (given that stone DID predict most things, down to who would be the best people to have eliminated first, that the lightning on the smokestack would kill liam and bryce, etc, but also, stone is shown having to check what others are doing, likely to gauge what possibilities are currently possible based on the environment, to check how things are developing). because he can see everything and every possibility, he can STEER things a certain way, but i dont think that actually enables them to get things towards the Best outcome. i think stone was also operating on the best possible outcomes, but that said outcomes are EXTREMELY hard to put into place exactly, and had to cast a wider net that allowed for the best possible chance of things at least mostly turning out okay, rather than anything highly specific that would ACTUALLY be the best outcome

stone themself can alter events, but he cant fully account for how others will act, because there are infinite possibilities. they just had to pick the best ones, and hope for the best. hell, we dont actually know IF liam this was what stone wanted. the note with the five on it kinda indicates that the outcome was mostly the same, but who knows if everything was how 100% how stone intended. there are hundreds of ways liam couldve interpretted the notes, stone just had to set him on a path where it was more likely that things would turn out okay (and i think statistically there WOULDVE been at least ONE course of events that wouldve turned out good for everyone, but while it exists, i dont think stone had the power to put it into action all on their own. they cannot account for others, only nudge people as best they can)

#ask #for me ive never seen it as stone knowing one predetermined set of events #bc that is a weird form of precognition that appears often but i think it doesnt perfectly account for the fact that #the person WITH the ability could directly affect the possible outcomes #stone seems to have a form of precognition that isnt just one path #or a few possible paths #but infinitely many #because if you know everything you also have to know what everything COULD be #and he simply has to gauge the frequency better things happens #and hope for the best #simply put: i think stone is all-knowing but not all-powerful #i think they did the best they could but unfortunately they werent given much to work with #i think a lot of the events that yielded the best results were also based around people acting less predictably #inherently making the best course of events super unlikely #which i imagine hed only know what happened for sure once it HAD happened #so i think. they wouldve been back in their world when he would Find Out. but i think hed get little mental updates on how things wer going #but generally. i think they did the best they could. but i wouldnt be surprised if they felt a bit guilty that this was all they could do #this is long but i hope this was a clear response!!!#i could see the outcome not being perfect being an indicator that they arent actually omniscent but i actually see it as the opposite #given the rest of the information we have about them too

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