#didnt forget her lmao

[dipplinduo]

“She knows her worth, I guess.” --- Carmine, how can you say that when Sweetie Pie likes DRAYTON of all people?

I'm dead because I had to double check that this was a line I wrote, and it is indeed a line I wrote LOOOOL

AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I GOTTA SAY ABOUT SWEET APPLIN LIKING DRAYTON?

LADIES, GENTLEMEN, & FOLKS, MAY I PRESENT:

(@cosmic-seer's fire sweet applin depiction, obv 😎)

#my fics #dipplinshipping #kieran pokemon #kieran x juliana pokemon #juliana x kieran pokemon #juliana pokemon #kieran x juliana #juliana x kieran #applin supremacy #drayton pokemon #drayton being iconic #angel-sensei #angel did I make you proud #I am not allowing this smear campaign against my guyTM #i am totally not biased also #thats totally not why sour applin likes him too #carmine pokemon #didnt forget her lmao

[urostakako]

planning your own (and your twin's) birthday

quick thing for them - happy birthday zen'in twins <3

[ID: An image of Maki and Mai Zen'in from Jujutsu Kaisen. Both are wearing their school uniforms and are visible bust up. Mai stands to Maki's left and glares at her, annoyed, teeth gritted and a vein popping in her forehead. She wears a pink and white birthday cone hat with sparkly gold tinsel lining the rim and the top. Maki looks up and to her right, irritated, and holds a red balloon in her left hand. The words "Jan 20" are written in all caps in yellow color.]

#it kinda sucks kgreshgksdjbgfxjk i cant believe i almost forgot their bday but. whatever ! #i imagine theyre celebrating w the other students and mai is embarrassed being the one to wear this stupid hat #and maki didnt do anything besides bring this balloon. shes gotten shit from nobara and everyone for being too not-interested #in herself and is just over it by now lol #of course though she hasnt forgotten to get a present for her sister. saves her from getting shitted on even more lmao #mai eventually forgets about the hat but someone took a photo on that day and now shes mad about it forever #anywayz <3 #maki zenin #mai zenin #zenin twins #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanart #hanancouldyounot #hanancouldyoudraw

[sharkstatic]

you!! show me your ocs (pretty please)

OFC <3 oh man where to even start

i have about 22 active ocs i rotate lmao about 10 of those have fully developed story/background/personality

these are all ones i dont think ive posted much or at all but these are some of my fav designs/concepts:

memphis honey- catboy extreme, magic user, very loose morals, carved those symbols into his own skin before his scheduled execution so that noone could bring him back once dead. once took over a cult in order to blow it up.

diamond- legally a tattoo artist for powerful demons that would usually heal up tattoos and piercings. illegally most other things. that collar is very literally keeping their head on.

sixgill- very very very old sixgill shark. she lives in the deep ocean and protects an ancient evil and also the ancient evil's baby son. 27 ft tall.

dishi- 7ft tall super buff spirit medium and compulsive liar. a romantic but has the worst taste in men youve ever seen. sees ghosts, demolition expert. this is specifically him while possessed which happens more often than hes comfortable with bc the Veil Is Thin around him, hes like personified halloween

fangfei- sir thats a whore ass bitch. cloud dragon. their style can be summed up with 'cheap and gold'. had to fight their twin to the death at an early age. mommy issues. doing coke in the bathroom about it.

:D they are all fantastic i love them ty for giving me an opportunity to spit them all out on here

#i didnt wanna just post all the arts id already done dfshbdfggfd #so heres my faves #otherwise kuo and dou wouldve been on here but theyre on a post on my main blog i think #i dont think ive ever mentioned memphis or sixgill or diamond on here #they all have pretty extensive lore but it would be too much to put down here #diamond died and his brother made a deal with a dream demon to bring him back from the brink of death #memphis comes as a package deal with sigurd theyre besties #and he forgets morals exsist as soon as hes presented with something interesting and sciency but he KNOWS this so he trusts sigurd to check #ANYAWY TYTYTY FOR ASKING SORRY THIS TOOK A DAY I HAD TO DECIDE WHAT TO EVEN ANSWER WITH DFGSBHGHFDS #i decided to try not to just post all the art i already posted again #so new ocs be upon ye fdsghfds #thanks for giving me an excuse to show them off #this is like the worst picture of dishi but its also most interesting lmao #this also reminded me of another oc i should finish and post shes actually my favorite concept for an oc ever mostly for the pun in her nam

[good-beansdraws]

Little wip dump ~

#ft milgram shimamine - fantasy au ice queen yuno & knight fuuta - more outfit swap with lukas and fuuta - mahirus dream family from that #interrogation question - and very indulgent ballerina fuuta lmao #some need a lot more fixing up than others but i do plan on finishing them all #i just have had 0 desire to do linework rip 😅 #feeling happy with them though and wanted to share :3 #i did all my tasks today (almost - a bit of cleaning left in a sec) and ordered matching milgram merch with the gf ;--; #so im vibin!! #dont mind how many fuutas there are #ive been very normal about him recently i swear 🙃 #rose rambles #also Fuck i didnt forget yunos mole -- i was changing her hair around a lot and i just realized i erased it on my last minute swap from #pieces framing her face rip

[reinabeestudio]

you stop shaving as a woman and people just dont know what to call you anymore huh

#you ever get so annoyed that you draw ur irl self instead of your epic swag yass slay pretty sona #i didnt stop shaving for any statement btw it just drains me to do it & i havent been in the mood for months LMAO #i think i'm so used to the comfort of being surrounded by ppl presenting however they want and calling themselves whatever #sometimes i forget how. binary everything still is where i live #note that aint trans btw. i was afab & i dont fully identify as that currently but i have no problem being called a girl #and due to Health Reasons(tm) i get hairier than one would consider 'normal' for a woman (among other things) #(listen we all know gender is a nuanced spectrum but im not in the mood to talk about it in the tags of my own blog lol) #that + short + fat + voice breaks sometimes + mostly wears 'gender neutral' clothing. been mistaken for a prebuscent guy sometimes #(i say 'gender neutral' but its just regular ass baggy shirts and pants/jeans. 💥) #and if y'know me personally youre prolly reading this like 'what'. and yeah thats my reality sometimes LMAO #and im spanish so things are Extra gendered >8'D #i dont even bother explainin my gender to family its just not worth it so i take the she/her and move on #usually i dont talk about these irl things bc whatever but it's starting to irritate me lol #like. do i have to fuckin shave just to not be misgendered. fuckin christ dude #i need to get my yearly haircut btw. i dont like long hair on myself. its getting warm & it makes me sweat i hate it 🧍‍♂️

[cinnabeat]

the idea that teachers would make new transfer students stand up and like introduce themselves or whatever is soo fake bc i had a friend who transfered mid semester into my school and specifically one of my classes and not only did the teacher not force her to introduce herself but i didnt even know she transferred at all for like a good couple months of our friendship

#i also didnt know her name bc she kind of just appeared #but i wasnt the most observant in high school mostly bc i didnt care #and i was kind of dragged into a well established friend group so i was just like yeah ok i guess we're friends #i was too embarrassed to ask what her name was #tbh at this point i couldnt tell you if anyone actually told me her name like explicitly #her name was mentioned many times in front of me of course but like. i need to consciously be aware to remember something #and a name drop in the middle of a group convo is not a time my for my brain to get out of autopilot mode #i mean i also dont remmebe much of high school either #hilariously enough the most i remember abt highschool is incidents ive had with teachers #shout out to my one teacher that gave me a zero in a lab report bc i 'plagiarized' it #cuz no eleventh grader can write that advanced #and i was like ive literally written like that all my life you can literally check my essays for english class #why would i plagiarize this #and then when she was like fine ill believe you for now (bitch??) and gave me a B on it anyways #i hated her #ohhh and my chem teacher #she was so rancid i hated her so much #ooh who else did i hate......MY SPANISH TEACHER #i will never forgive her for giving me a D in spanish. bitch im a native speaker #and then had the audacity to ask me why i wasnt aware of homework and i was like cuz you never post it online AND im not the only one who fo #forgets why arent you bitching at everyone else #i swear i hated someone else who was it........ #i had a geudge against the new peincipal and his horrendous graduation plans but it ended up not mattering anyways cuz of covid #drivethru graduation lmao ✌️ #michi tag #not to talk abt highschool again LMAO

[todayisafridaynight]

Wanna put your friend in a lil terrarium just to see what wacky things she does stg 😂

i actually Cannot Stress the migraine she gives me every time we hang out. like without fail she'll always say or do something that ranges from mildly questionable or irritating but relatively Whatever to How Have You Survived This Long Without Burning Your House Down Boiling An Egg

#snap chats #and then there's her just forgetting things or being late despite the amount of times ill remind her #and i keep stressing to her i cannot stand it when people are late. and then she shows up to things an hour late anyway #or 'when shes late' by fifteen minutes because she didnt think to text me she's there. and im already stressed and annoyed I. UGH i swear. #LIKE. i have only really had two irl friends and both of them i lowkey had to parent in some way #at least my childhood bestie she's like. she's grown a lot and even if i havent spoken to her in a while im real proud of her right #THIS MOTHERFUCKER THO. OUUUUUGGGH.... youre not supposed to say anythin if you dont got nothin nice to say #which is contradictory to the main body text but point is let me Not be any more mean than how ive been already LMAO #even funnier about her looking at that comic is that LITERALLY masumi says he's talking to jo ☠️☠️☠️☠️ #did i already say i have to remind her who jo is every three seconds #like the entirety of chap 2 when ichi's out of jail she was all 'why doesnt he just say who ACTUALLY killed the guy' #and then when we finally run into the fuckass who 'actually killed the guy' she's just 'wait who's that' #then i tell her and shes like 'oh my god he's so old now' IT'S BEEN 18 YEARS DUMBASS #ngl did wanna make a comic based off that LMAO BUT POINT IS she tests my patience every day and i think its good practice #if im going to work with people in the future like ohh.. my god.... #she told me once she's never been on a date and its like. yeah i wonder why you can't even be assed to show up on time to hangouts ☠️ #like ive never had friends so maybe im just insane.. im not insane for wanting people to be on time tho.... #OK IM BEING TOO MEAN LET ME CAP IT THERE

[ayyponine]

Same venue. Same-ish crowd. Opposing seasons. Contrasting vibes.

#me #sometimes you have a few beers and yr feeling yrself. sometimes you feel too much like yourself and consider leaving early #for all the talk of yearning and intricate rituals let me tell you. a drunk girl sidled in right in front of me and the sense of rage i- #her and esp the guys she was with got kinda rowdy in the pit later on shoving each other also into the crowd whom did NOT want part of that #its a lot of people in a small room and at this point i was already further back and against a wall let me tell you #i think if someone had touched me i might have snapped fr #still had an ok time though once i got over feeling super embarrassed about my self and dared looking other people in the eye lol ah #one thing i do like abt the culture is the genderneutrality of it all... the most long and luscious locks in the room belong to some guy #and i can show up in sport bra and oversized shirt no typa bag no makeup wearin black laceup boots that could be m or f #my gender is uh. dont worry abt it lets just turn off the lights and vibe #got talking w someone tho who said she recognised me frm a diff event & i didnt much like that idea.. im not in the mood to be Perceived at #the venue IS p cool tho... like oo at a forgotten space on the other side of the tracks. by the water. by the skate park. yea #edit HOW could i forget. the rowdiest of drunk guys got either shamed into stepping out or str8 removed fr a lil while im not sure lol #and another guy wantedto crowdsurf but only 2 of his friends came to the stage to get him so he just kinda. crawled on top of them #and they awkwardly took a few steps carrying him round the vacated front. none of the crowd wanted shit to do w them lmao

[steakout-05]

headcanons i have about Craig the scientist :)

as are most of the characters i have headcanons for, Craig is on the autism spectrum. he has a flat effect to his voice and facial expressions, doesn't really get most social cues, doesn't know how to react to others in pain the "right" way, misunderstands metaphors and speaks in quite a direct manner because it makes the most sense to his brain. he's quite a literal thinker. he also tends to hyperfixate so hard on a task that he forgets his basic needs and hygene, and thus has quite an unkempt look underneath that hazmat suit of his (which i will get into later!). Barry often ends up needing to get Craig something to eat because of how long he hyperfixates on something.

Craig sometimes doesn't exactly pay attention to his tone of voice, so sometimes he can say something that, to him, sounds completely normal, but because of his tone, can end up sounding really ominous to other people by accident ("We know who you are, Barry.")

Craig has traumatic cataract in his left eye (or wherever the fuck craig's visor crack is supposed to be in canon lol) from the explosion in 'Level 2' and is half blind in that eye. his eye has a very clouded look as a result of the injury. he's also got a huge scar there too that required some pretty gnarly stitches later, and his skin is almost completely numb around that area.

Craig also never really had the best eyesight before the injury, so he's always wearing these big ol' nerdy glasses underneath his helmet. and yes, they are tacked together with a band-aid lol

Craig is one of the few scientists who is not a clone of Peter Simpkins, the late friend of both Professor Brains and (in my headcanon'd canon) Craig. i like to think that Craig and Simpkins knew each other when they were first recruited by Legitimate Research and was pretty close to both him and Brains, and since Simpkins died, Brains has kind of taken more of a liking towards Craig (mostly out of loneliness and needing someone to help around at the lab, but he has a genuine fondness for him under his demanding and angry exterior).

There's a bit of a fan theory that Craig is the same guy as the scientist in the 'Robot Bird' rock opera, which i like to believe is the case. i mean, he's got the same monotone voice as Craig, it's gotta be him. i hope this does end up becoming canon because i think it'd make for an interesting conflict between Barry and Craig!!

Craig may or may not be related to Lab Lady.

Craig's counterpart in the mirror universe is named Kayla.

Craig is demiromantic and is questioning his sexuality (he thinks he might be bi or pan), though he definitely knows he loves Barry <3

Craig has an unhealthy habit of wiping his embarrassing memories, like, a lot. he wipes memories of awkward accidents in the lab, particularly painful failures, and most importantly, the memories of losing literally all his stuff and his career to Barry, which is why he doesn't immediately recognise him in the shorts. Craig has a lot of trouble recounting stories from the past because of this memory-wiping and felt a sense of emptiness, which getting hit in the head certainly didn't help with, so he tried inventing that apple in the Multiverse Madness event to get some of them back. it was pure dumb luck that Barry didn't end up witnessing what happened to Craig in the 'Robot Bird' opera and both are completely unaware of the disastrous can of worms that could have opened. bro's gonna end up like wallflower blush if he doesn't keep that memory erasing under control

and finally...

under his helmet, Craig has messy dirty-blonde hair, a rounded face that has a few stray facial hairs he forgot to shave, a long scar down the left side of his face, hazel coloured eyes and pale skin. this design is inspired by the designs made by @dexterno-artz and @schnabel53 respectively :D

this is a sketch of my finalised(ish) craig design!!! i've shown earlier versions of this guy in a couple of older posts but i haven't really revised his design much until now. i kinda had the idea of him looking like a stereotypical nerd and then made him messier. i might tone the amount of hair he has down a tiny bit but also i really like the nerdy bird's nest thing he has goin on :) i like to think he literally hasn't brushed his hair in several weeks and it's just become a bird's nest from nights of staying up doing science stuff

how i feel about barry tbh. he's literally so dumb i love him

(also apologies for the photos being kinda blurry and me forgetting to turn off the filter. again. in my defence it looks really nice and orange on my phone)

sometimes i like drawing him saying stuff from the shorts to get a feel of how he'd look when talking and make sure he looks juuuust nerdy enough for me to go "yep that's craig". also his big,g, handns,s,

drew this as a quick side profile sketch to get a general idea of how i want to draw him from this angle. he's talking to barry offscreen and falling in love with him <3

stupid little comic with a stupid little interaction that would definitely happen between these stupid little guys <3 barry being a little asshole every now and then is very entertaining to me. i need to see him antagonising craig and starting an old couple bickering argument with craig, that would heal me i think

i think i'll post more of this design in the future, i really quite like it a lot :)

#jetpack joyride #craig jetpack joyride 2 #jetpack joyride 2 #headcanon design #yeag sorry the photos are so fucked looking #my room does not have good lighting.... like..... at all #my sketchbook is also literally falling to pieces lmao #i'm gonna get a new one soon but damn. my poor sketchbook #i didnt even do anything to it....... why must it fall apart and die on me.......... #anyway YEAH craig design!!!! #i quite like this design a lot #i feel like there's something that could be added to it but i don't wanna make his design more complicated than it already is #that first drawing of him kinda looks like his eye is bleeding lol #it's just a really big scar dw #craig having traumatic cataract was inspired by my dog getting traumatic glaucoma in his eye #also i think craig would go hard as like. a character who's similar to wallflower blush #except instead of everyone forgetting her but her remembering them #it's craig forgetting everything that happened to him and then finding a way to restore the memories and then he gets SO PISSED at barry #they'll sure need a lot of couple's counselling after that blunder #i kinda wanna make designs for steve and toni #especially steve!!! #how do you think they'd identify steve from the other scientists. would barry just stick a big piece of paper with an S on it to his face #answering my own question: yes he would absolutely do that #steve is the one i feel like both barry and craig tease the most #i find steve literally being so nervous about being perceived that he runs away and damages property to be extremely relatable #also fun fact: craig's hair and eye colours are kinda based off the colour i see the word craig in??? #ok this is gonna be tricky to explain but i think i might have grapheme colour synesthesia #it's basically a condition where you can see or VERY heavily associate colours to a specific number or letter #and for some reason my brain has christened 'craig' as being a very specific sort of yellowy green! it's what i see in my head when i think #-of the word 'craig' so i decided to make him kinda blonde and have hazel eyes (which is basically a mix of green and yellow)!! neato!!

[silverselfshippingchaos]

I forgot to mention but

I GOT THE WIFE FUNKO POP THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!

#ash rambles 💚 #a heaven full of stars 💙❤️ #sorry i forgot to mention #ive been forgetting a lot as of late LMAAOOO ive also been so fixated in a.dam j.ensen that admittedly i havent thought of much else #anyways #WIFE FUNKO!!!! I literally did a happy dance the moment i left the store!! #i didnt expect to find her actuallt #and the guy was like 'tbh i doubt we have her but- OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT SHELF' #and me and a crowd of the workers were like OH SHIT OH SHIT #epic ass moment #im just #ajshajdhenrhwndha #I'm just so happy!!!!! #my wife!!!!! thats my wife!!!!! isnt she perfect? #i also included some pictures of her with my wife plushie! and my red wayfinder too ofc! #excuse how messy my desk is haha #i love how she looks kinda angry and serious ajshajsjs it's cute lmao #muah muah muah ily wifey!!! girl of my dreams!! #I'm so happy shes in my collection now #shes perfect

[aezyrraeshh]

; OC AS A LOVE LANGUAGE

tagged by @indorilnerevarine to take this quiz for some of my ocs; thank you so much for the tag! <33 tagging @arklay @aartyom @risingsh0t @steelport @devilbrakers @liurnia @florbelles @shadowglens @calenhads @aelyosos @jillvalcntines @shepardgf @swordcoasts @cultistbase @brujah @girlbosselrond @camelliagwerm @reaperkiller @faarkas @veisshaupt @celticwoman & whoever else wants to do this!

; a knife called grief

You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything. You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.

; an undoing influence

Can someone tell you what to do? You have been carrying so much love within you for so long it is starting to turn into anger (why does it matter, all you see is red anyways) and you have been dragging this body through each day and every night you are split open on your bed and it is so so so lonely. If someone were to walk in while you were on your bed that way and they stitched you back in a new way, lining the seams with their love and kisses, you’d probably find this dreary world a little more bearable. You want someone to turn you over and over until you look in the mirror and see yourself looking back at yourself with a gentleness which has been lacking in you since forever.

; violent devotion

Everyone seems to think you are faithless, but the thing is you haven’t yet found someone who will bring you to your knees and make you raise your head in reverence. This world has stopped bringing you joy, you want more of the divine. You want to dedicate your entire existence to someone; you want to make them realise they are not something terrible, make them see just how much beauty they are bringing to this world. You want to be the only one for them, the only one they have chosen to love. There’s a god shaped pit inside of you and only they can fit in it. And what if they choose to walk away? Didn’t I say this was violent devotion?

#ty again for the tag !! #THESE OH MY GOD THESES HIT SO HARD I AM #''you have left your house you have left those people behind but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you'' #FOR LUNA I AM SCREAMING BC HER FAMILY? AND JOSIE? SHE RUNS AWAY FROM HER EMOTIONS BUT SHE STILL REMEMBERS THE GOOD TIMES EVEN IF SHE WISHES #SHE DIDNT #she will always remember the good and the bad but she wishes so badly that she could forget and be stronger than this #she is in a grip of longing and she cant escape AAAAAAAAAA #she likes to think she longs only for power but there is a thirst for connection too screaming and crying #and josie............................. i am dead #her result hits esp hard considering luna left her after josie had confessed and it's like.... her feelings drove away the person she loves #and even if she is angry at luna she is also angry at herself bc she should have known better than this #iwish someone was there for her to comfort her that it was not her fault oh my god #the anger.... screaming and crying x2 #ALSO I HAVE THE WEIRDEST WAY OF INTRODUCING OCS BUT MEET ELIAN #not going to say a lot abt him bc mystery lmao but *violent* devotion fits them all too well #too too well #anyways i am going to think abt these for the rrest of the day now #♡: tag games

[babydarkstar]

everybody loves to hypothesize an angsty griddlehark alecto-era reunion but i rly think it’s gonna be funny. or at least it should be, if thematics are to be followed. like i think theyre probably trying really hard to be dramatic and heartbroken about it all but it’s just objectively funny to everyone else around them bc kiriona is bringing up the fact that harrow still has never completed a single pushup in her life and harrow’s lecturing griddle about giving her one more body to hallucinate and also for narrating her depressive episode/psychotic meltdown in the back of her (their) subconscious like it was a mockumentary. everything is gibberish and sounds like teenaged exes after a tumultuous 2-month relationship comprised exclusively of hallway hugs between classes and dates at the mall instead of the devastating explosive lifelong-soulmate rehash that it is

#kiriona gaia is not angry with harrow. shes mad at herself. #‘die for her. you could have lived for her but you didnt know how’ #anyways ill still throw up blood about it regardless #tlt #tlt spoilers #also. ‘get in line thou big slut’ is the big teller for me tbh. lmao #yelling at the soul of a dead planet bc she stole your girl #i mean okay. maybe shes upset with harrow but i dont think shed ever actually be pissed #she’s heartbroken. it’s different #when youre sad because your girl didnt eat your soul to ascend and instead tried to forget you ;( #but you take it thr wrong way and think of it as rejection instead of her obvious attempt at salvaging your soul ;( #i mean i also think harrow would scream and cry and be very relieved to see her

[lorillee]

personally i think godot shouldve thrown more coffee cups at phoenix

#this is partially a joke but also . the people who hate him because he was mean to phoenix.......... lmao............... ok............. #lorillee.txt #see when edgeworth is mean to phoenix its because manfred personally made him do it #but when godot is mean to phoenix is because he has 0 trauma ever and is a normal well adjusted member of society #<- for the record not saying that trauma makes you not accountable for your actions #im just making fun of these people who like to conveniently scrub away every bad thing edgeworth has ever done #like sorry but ummmmmmmmm the likelihood of godot having sent any innocent people to jail is infinitely less #than mr. coacher of witnesses and hider of evidence 🤔 but hey who cares about that #when diego shoved phoenix into the snow in the anime that one time ! haha #(pain. and suffering) #and hey dont you forget that diego is the REAL misogynist because of a nickname that mia literally doesnt care about at all #and ummm *checks notes* a badly translated line. but edgeworth is a total 10000% feminist #despite talking down to mia her entire first trial because he doesnt respect her at all and calling her a novice bimbo. tee hee #sorry got a little too passive aggressive on this one. WHAT EVER !!!!!!!!!!! #it just truly is astounding the kind of double standards girlies will come up with #for their favorite light skinned twink vs a brown man w a latine name who was a little mean to their other favorite light skinned twink 🤔 #like. i love edgeworth. yall know i love edgeworth. if i didnt love edgeworth i wouldnt have typed out that whole 4k word anaylsis #of aai2 in like the span of 15 hours. including sleep + daily activities time. but the double standards. theyre killing me

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#so i got a message from my sister telling me something rather tragic had happened in our family #on my mom's side. one of my aunties passed away&my little sister let me know. #she also let me know that my mother is taking it really hard&shed probably really like to hear from me. #&its weird bc any sadness i felt about my aunty dying almost completely evaporated upon it becoming a way to guilt me #into talking to my mother-- like i was not almost dead for a long LONG time&she was actively disowning me bc i wasnt sick the right way #after a lifetime of refusing to believe i was sick AT ALL which directly lead to developing cancer she screamed at me in public #that i was lying about before pretending to drive off a cliff&then refusing to pick up her phone until she called me an hour later #after i had been calling not just her but anyone in our family who could possibly check on her to tell me that i never loved her #&i wouldnt have cared if she died&it would have been my fault. #so like. i dont really give a fuck if shes taking a death in the family poorly? like i dont actually fucking care that this-- like literally #everything else-- needs to center my mother's bad feelings. i just fucking dont lmao. #&im really fucking pissed off that i now have to feel like shit bc i dont feel like i properly feel bad #about my family member dying bc IT BECAME ALL ABOUT MY MOTHER IMMEDIATELY. #i do not fucking UNDERSTAND. #i cannot even put into words how this all makes me feel lmao. why. literally fucking why. #the cherry on top? my aunty died of gastric issues. you know. the family curse that i def didnt get so i got to work thru it all #while being called a liar. you know the type of illness that almost killed ME. that might STILL kill me. #but yeah my mom is sad so i should call&make sure to hold her hand like i always fucking did lets just forget an entire lifetime #&esp the last five years thatll be totally cool. #a tragedy happened in the family so fuck all MY tragedies actually i guess.

[irl]

in that same town because i was only out and about at night, i also got a reputation for myself. i joined the ranks of the local cryptids with the doll girl and the penny lady. i heard so many stories about myself from people who didnt know they were talking to the legend. and it was so dumb too lmao

small towns, an alternative looking person in all black that only shows up at night and wanders around the town square? thatll do it

#txt #i was actually friends with the doll girl #i forget her name ngl #but i was friends with her and her sister and their mother #and i met all of them separately from each other lmaoo #i went to school with her sister jojo #and her mom i met at a small little odds and ends antiqueish store that i was friends with the owner #their mother was a boisterous italian woman who always made me smile when we saw each other #it was wild when i found out they were all related lmao #the doll id met only a few times #we were on friendly terms but not friend friends ykno #i hung out with her sister #she was called the doll girl bcos she dressed in lolita btw lmao #and the penny lady is a rly tragic story #i love her to bits shes a sweet sweet sweet woman and idk if shes still alive #but she didnt deserve to have the whole town talking about her

[awek-s-archived]

it sure is hard having a 50 year old child when ur 25 lol

#im tired of raising my mom i rly am it takes such an emotional toll #i love her but its gotten to the point where sometimes she will just come home or walk into a room or #yell one time and it just drains my energy immediately #and every time i have like a bad mental health day or think back abt the decades of abuse im still recovering from bc of my brother #(it only ended last year so i have a lot of recovery to do) #i remember how she basically totally ignored all of it #and only took it seriously when it started to happen to her last year as well #and the other day she was like oh i had a panic attack once and she started trying to explain what they were to me im like mom i literally #have anxiety. im mentally ill. i get panic attacks all the time. #she thinks im a weirdo for it and that i need to grow up but when SHE had it it was different #like its just a lot to deal w lmao #obviously she helps me a lot but its like it takes more to raise a kid than giving them a roof under their head i feel like #a lot of ppl forget this #and we didnt even always have a roof either not that homelessness was any of our choice #but u know what i mean #like emotionally ive been parenting my mom since i was 5 years old its really srarting to eat away at me now #aweks.txt