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#do i care that they havent had a single interaction? no.
creapysummer · 10 months
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these are my ineffable bureaucracy
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echo-s-land · 1 month
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It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care
#vent ig#i wish i could#but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i#wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the#short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent#but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar#and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie#we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant#the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and#'im not even remotely interested by any of you'#its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT#NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up#on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.)#anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point)#am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as#a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened#i hate feeling apathetic#and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them#cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life
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dirt-str1der · 2 years
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Not to be a shipper but its so fun and makes me soo happy bobo
#Listen to my problems#this wasnt prompted by anything i was just thinking about how a lot of things for me are now skewed by the relationship persepctive not even#purely ‘romantic’ ones i just now think in terms of this person interacting with that person ... ...#i was also thinking about kiryu and majima again (i lied this is what really prompted this) and how they ddint even text each other#like you get wrapped up in all sorts of passions as a kid (in your twenties) and then when its over you part ways and not talk to each other#one of you is honourbound to stay behind and watch over things. and the other’s happiness and peace of mind depends on them ... kiryu told#him to take care of daigo and majima was like okie doki and dedicated his life to that#like i KNOW !! he had his own reasons for doing so. he wasnt just doing it for kiryu he was doing it for saejima (who by the way i havent#been introduced to a single member of his so called saejima (seajima) family) but it matters so much that he stayed and put up a fight about#it thinking since this is the last time we’re gonna see each other lets make it count !! and then get the crap beaten out of you and then#have a smoke break with him all well ... take care. because im not going to call or visit you lol. and i hope you forget about me because i#know ill be thinking about you and thats a pain in the ass innit ....#majima constantly has so much on his mind at all times always he cant even live for himself he just has to do it for other people ... so its#fucked up that kiryu just left him like that... call him at least let him know you think about him ... let him know its okay to come bother#you once in a while ..! bitch. that reminds me i have to finish watching breaking bad
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be-good-to-bugs · 1 month
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i need to go to bed but i dont wannnaaaaa
#the bin#i work at 7am and its 1:23 am i have GOT to go to bad but ugh. if i go to bed then that means ill have to go to work as sokn as im conscious#so the longer i stay up the more time i have. but km gonna be so tired at work. hhhhh.#i dont know why but ive felt so horrible today. super anxious. miserable and really sad#im trying to just deal with it. soon enough things are gonna change. its only 34 days till my planned moving date. i will only bave like 20#more shifts at this job. maybe less depending on what i get given. including tomorrows shift. and tomorrows shift is only 5 hours long#and the day after its only 4 hours and then i have 2 more days off. itll be ok. but i still feel so anxious and depressed and awful#i just wanna stay home and be high all the time. i feel so lonely always. literally the only thing that helps me not feel completely crushed#and paralyzed by how lonely i am is getting high. i know its not healthy to rely on getting high to feel better about stuff but idk what#else to do so who cares. when i dont do anything about it i i stead end up relapsing or worse so i think its an ok option#i hope i can meet nice people this year. year after year it doesnt happen but so much has changed!#it makes sense i havent met people since i moved out. and everything is so different from wwhen i last lived with them#all my siblings are in school. they have people over at the hair a fair bit afaik. my dad wont be there to me make feel awful. my sister#also wont be there to me me feel awful. i can figure something out. itll be ok. it has to be.#i just want to squeeze someone. i just want like. a hug. a good cuddle. and i need to talk to someone. its been so long since u had an actul#fun time hanging out with another person. i need to watch a movie with someone and joke around and. ugh.#how did my life reach this point? what happened that resulted in me spending ages 10-19 all alone. im not even 19 yet but i will be soon#and theres not a chance ill meet someone before then esp bc im moving. when i was little i didnt have mych friends but i had some#i had such high hopes for the future. i also thought the future would be terrible but i imagined id still have friends and peopwl to talk to#all ive wanted sincei was 10 is just to have people to talk to and hangout with. but i dont have a single friend. i can hardky name anyone#besides my family and coworkers. and like aa couple of my sisters friends. there isnt even like people i know who i dont really consider#friends but we talk sometimes. if i dont go to work. call my mom. or tex a sibling. i dont see or talk to anyone period#i guess unless i go to the store. that doenst really count tho.#i want to have a friends group. i want to have A friends. just like. a person. to interact with. what happened that made mw spend the past#8 years just not interacting with anyone? whats wrong with me.#its fine tho. becausebit will change. i acan heal from this and i can meet people. even if half my conscious life has been spent all alone#it will get better. it has to.
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milaeth · 10 months
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୨୧┊ 𝐈𝐈. 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒. ( charles leclerc )
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ꖛ ─ you’re reading part two ∿ part one ∿ part three
✧.* pairings ─ charles leclerc x fem! singer! reader
✧.* genre ─ social media au ⨾ fluff & chaotic
✧.* summary ─ in which your best friend George gets fed up with watching you and Charles secretly yearn for each other while claiming to be just friends. so, when you lose a bet to George, he takes control of your social media accounts for 24 hours, using the opportunity to help you make a move on your crush.
✧.* face claim ─ suki waterhouse
✧.* warnings ─ some suggestive jokes, other than that this is just as chaotic as the first part
✧.* mily’s thoughts ─ part three is coming soon! hope you enjoy mwah <3
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˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ charles <3 . ✧ ˚
y/n: hey charles i really don’t want to be a bother but i quickly wanted to apologize for the insta post that was made about us a few hours ago!
charles <3: Hey, don’t worry, you’re not a bother! :) And I don’t really care about the post.
y/n: wait
y/n: you don’t care?
charles <3: Nope, I thought the whole flirting thing (the comments etc) was just a joke between friends, yk. At first I was a little confused, to be honest, since we don't usually joke like that, but I figured it was just the way you interact with people you feel more comfortable with!
[ seen 1:29pm ]
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˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ princess george . ✧ ˚
y/n: i’m so scared
princess george: WHAT DID HE SAY
y/n: he thinks it was a flirty joke between friends
princess george: HUH? So I did all that painfully obvious flirting for nothing💀
y/n: AHA
y/n: SO YOU DID DO ALL THESE THINGS TO GET ME TO CONFESS TO CHARLES.
princess george: Someone had to do it! I'm sick of watching you guys literally be in love with the other and still claim to be "just friends" 🤓
y/n:🧍‍♀️
y/n: that isn’t the point now
y/n: the point is WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY
princess george: YOU HAVENT REPLY YET??
y/n: NO I LEFT HIM ON READ BC I PANICKED IDK
princess george: i'm going to have to call carmen to give you some girly advice if you don't start getting bold💀
y/n: OKAYOKAY BUT WHAT SHOULD I SAY
y/n: HURRY UP HES BEEN ON SEEN FOR FIVE MINUTES NOW
princess george: IDK ASK GOOGLE
y/n: GEORGE WTF
princess george: DONT ‘GEORGE WTF’ ME! YOU KNOW I DONT WORK WELL UNDER PEER PRESSURE
y/n: you’re a racing driver💀
princess george: your point?
[ seen 1:37pm ]
princess george: hello???
[ seen 1:38pm ]
y/n: I ASKED GOOGLE LIKE YOU TOLD ME TO AND THEY DIDNT DO SHIT
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y/n: they had the audacity to correct me too
princess george: 💀💀
[ seen 1:40pm ]
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˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ charles <3 . ✧ ˚
y/n: you think it was a joke?
charles <3: Well yeah
charles <3 I mean
charles <3: It couldn’t have been anything more
y/n: what if it was tho?
y/n: hypothetical ofc!!!!
charles <3: Well I honestly don’t know
charles <3: If we are speaking hypothetically, I think I would be flattered.
y/n: and if we aren’t speaking hypothetically?
charles <3: Then I would probably still feel flattered.
charles <3: Y/n? Hello?
y/n: SORRY MY PHONE FELL DOWN
charles <3: LMAO
charles <3: Does that mean those flirty jokes weren’t just jokes?
y/n: well.. to me, they’re not jokes, but i’m not the one who made them. i wasn’t supposed to tell you yet but i’m getting sick of george so idc
y/n: i lost a bet to him and had to hand over my main social media accounts for 24 hours, meaning all the comments/posts you saw from my main accounts were made by george😭
charles <3: That explains why I saw your private accounts constantly fight with your main accounts in random comment sections💀
y/n: yeah he was really messing with me
y/n: i’ve gotten lots of angry mails from my pr team
charles <3: I can imagine😭 It's only fair that you get back at him.
y/n: oh absolutely.
charles <3: Can I ask a question though?
y/n: sure!
charles <3: Is your newest single actually about me?
y/n: yes it is. i’m sorry you have to find out like this but i really like you, like a lot. i’ve liked you for a while now but i was too scared to talk to you about it because i thought you don’t feel the same.
charles <3: That’s not true
charles <3: I actually do feel the same, and I literally had the same dilemma!
y/n: WHAT
y/n: YOU ALSO LIKE ME??
charles <3: YES!! I really like you :)
y/n: SINCE WHEN
charles <3: Probably since the day I first met you
y/n: no way i thought you hated me back then💀
charles <3: No don’t worry I didn’t😭 My brother Arthur said I always have this certain look to myself when I meet new people. He said I tend to look a little “off” when I’m overwhelmed, so that was probably it lol
y/n: oh yeah, george said the same about you
charles <3: Aha very nice of him💀
charles <3: Btw I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by asking this, but what are we now? I’m just a little confused
y/n: how about we take it slow and start going on little dates? like trying this whole thing out and seeing if we can actually be more than friends.
charles <3: I had the same in mind :)
charles <3: And George still has control over your main accounts?
y/n: yep for the next 2-3 hours :’)
charles <3: alright, ready to get back at him?
y/n: ABSOLUTELY
[ seen 1:59pm ]
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˗ˏ ➶ IMESSAGE ➜ w/ princess george . ✧ ˚
princess george: Y/N DID HE REPLY YET?
[ sent 1:43pm ]
princess george: Y/N?
princess charles: HELLOOOO
[ sent 1:44pm ]
princess george: CMON I CAN SEE YOURE ONLINE
[ sent 1:46pm ]
princess george: DONT BE SO CRUEL
princess george: PLEASEEE
princess george: I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SAID
[ sent 1:50pm ]
princess george: UGH fine
princess george: Guess my finger slipped again🙄🙄🙄
[ sent 1:55pm ]
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yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, georgerussell63 and 8,379,158 others
yourusername save a horse, ride a char- COWBOY
tagged: charles_leclerc
view all 268,368 comments…
user375 HELP ME WHAT
user121 girl you gotta stop being horny on the internet😭
georgerussell63 Oh. My. God.😲😲 Y/n this isn’t your private account
user54 you’re acting very sus there mate
user488 well someone needs to get laid💀
user224 simp of the day🫵
pierregasly i can’t watch this
yourusername then look away🤷‍♀️😂
user865 you’re so relatable
user308 cowboy charles😍😍
urusername_alt🔒 YOU DID NOT
yourusername I did xx
urusername_alt🔒 DELETE THIS RN
yourusername Nopee
carlos55sainz I’m so confused
charles_leclerc my lap is free🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️
yourusername WHAT
urusername_alt🔒 wait- fr?🤭🤭
landonorris pause. stop right there.
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yourusername | 📍 paris, france
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liked by senelagomez, carlos55sainz and 21,488,321 others
yourusername feels good to finally have this account back
view all 170,325 comments…
zendaya stunning as always✨
liked by yourusername
user965 mother is mothering🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️
user233 does a stronger word than mother exist??
user355 @/charlesleclerc you better wife her up before i do
user212 there’s no way they’re actually together, now that she revealed that george was behind all those comments/posts
user593 i was NOT prepared
charles_leclerc come to monaco, we miss you
landonorris who’s we
yourusername @/landonorris stfu you salty bitch, you’re just jealous i didn’t visit you last year💀
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charles_leclerc just added to their story !
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∿ taglist ─ @81astri @ch3rryknots @cs55version @fdl305 @remuslupinsbtch @kissesandmartinis @teenagedreams-cl @headinthecloudssblog @mrsmaybank13 @glai1023-blog @luvrrish @hevburn @charlespear @bibissparkles @siovhanroy ( my taglist if you want to get tagged in my works )
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don’t forget to like, comment & reblog (it’s very much appreciated <3).
© milaeth | 2023
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idyllic-affections · 1 year
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what if kaveh adopted a child? (pt. ii)
summary. kaveh isn't exactly the best single dad out there, but he's doing his best.
trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.
tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff, slight angst. adoptive dad!kaveh & reader. alhaitham & reader. tighnari & reader. collei & reader. 1.7k words. they/them pronouns for reader. this post is an expansion of what if kaveh adopted a child?
author's thoughts. do you guys remember when i said i wouldnt expand upon this brainrot? i lied. it was pretty well recieved and got some nice interaction so i hope to replicate that effect with this one!! heres some more adoptive dad!kaveh 💖 this will not make sense if you havent read the aforementioned brainrot, so please do that before reading this one! also do be aware that this has hints of kaveh's backstory in it, so if you don't want to see implied spoilers, don't read this!!
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kaveh is a disaster single dad, but he's doing his best.
kaveh did inevitably take alhaitham's unsolicited advice and took them to gandharva ville. as much as he may hate to outwardly admit it... he knows he's not in a place to take care of a child alone, and he can't force alhaitham to help. that is simply not his roommate's responsibility. kaveh respects that; taking care of a child is a serious committment. it is not something that can be treated lightly, and it is certainly not something to force upon an unwilling caretaker. thankfully, the people at gandharva ville have no issue taking them in until kaveh is able to care for them properly.
tighnari and collei take really good care of them—especially collei. she adores them.
collei was very awkward with them at first, but she warmed up to them pretty quickly. something about having the opportunity to help a young child recover from trauma and learn to be stronger and smarter, having the opportunity to be like a big sister... it's very healing for her. she is being the person she herself would have needed all those years ago.
tighnari was also somewhat hesitant at first. children have a tendency to be bratty and loud, and he... does not have that kind of patience, but he was quick to get over any prior doubts after meeting them for the first time. they were very quiet. it was kind of worrying at first, but tighnari quickly realized that they just prefer communicating nonverbally.
the way they write is beautifully advanced and elegant, but it seems that their mouth finds it hard to keep up with their brain. that's all.
tighnari tutors them alongside collei. they're very advanced in language for their young age, and collei is a bit behind, so the two are roughly at the same level. he's also teaching both of them some of sumeru's many languages.
unlike collei, however, they are not from sumeru. they're from fontaine. as such, they have a lot of trouble producing some sounds that native speakers would have no trouble with.
(it's a source of very much frustration for them. collei is always there to console them when they get especially frustrated with themselves, wiping their tears away with gentle yet calloused hands and reassuring them that absolutely no-one expects them to be able to pronounce every word perfectly. even she messes up sometimes! she was away from sumeru for so long, after all. some sounds are difficult for her too.)
whenever kaveh visits them, they absolutely shine with excitement, as if he hasn't come to see them in ages. however... he's usually there multiple times a week (unless he's away for a project, and if he is, he always tells them before he leaves). they're simply always happy to see him.
it's really very cute, the way they gasp delightedly and run up to hug his legs since they're too short to reach any higher. it's impossibly endearing.
one time in particular stood out.
"Baba!"
Utter shock.
The silence that spread through Gandharva Ville was incredibly overpowering, but that didn't seem to deter them from running up to poor Kaveh—who had yet to completely process what they had said, how they had addressed him—and squeezing their little arms around his leg. The silence was quick to dissipate into fond murmurs and giggles as the Forest Rangers resumed their individual duties.
...
The blonde had no intention of replacing their parents; he'd feel awful if one or both of them turned up at some point, only for their child to have bonded with a different caretaker, but...
He also didn't have the heart to chide them. Who would? The way they gazed up at him with a smile that outshined the blazing sun itself was too sweet, too innocent. Kaveh couldn't possibly imagine why anyone would want to crush their soul like that.
He couldn't deny the warmth spreading in his chest, either.
With a smile, he raised his child into his arms, laying his forehead against their's. His gaze was gentle, affectionate, as he observed their expression. 'Enamored' didn't even begin to describe Kaveh's affection for them.
"Hello, little one. Baba's back."
from then on, kaveh absolutely addresses them as his kid. he just accepts that his role in their life is that of a father. family is not defined by blood, and archons know they need a parental figure that they can trust and rely on after what they went through in fontaine.
he never really saw himself being a father, at least not for a good while, but he adores them sm <3
alhaitham definitely warms up to them (eventually)!
he teaches them a few things here and there. most of the things he teaches them are language-related, but he'll sometimes present them with math problems. he'll even review some of their work for them if they ask, especially if it's something like an essay.
kaveh would absolutely pay special attention to his child's hair. if he doesn't already know how to care for their specific hair type, he would do everything in his power to learn how to.
kaveh spoils them whenever he can afford to. he oftentimes can't afford to do such things, which stings like a fresh wound would, but he knows they're happy even without being spoiled. he tries his best!
the architect wants to preserve their native culture, but they seem averse to the idea of returning to fontaine, and forcing them would do no good.
for now, the best he can do is obtain fontainian literature through foreign sources and ensure that their own language isn't erased by the sumeran languages they're learning.
his mother does live there. he could always ask her for a few favors when needed.
when the political climate cools down a little, he plans on taking them to fontaine, just not the capital city. anywhere outside of the nation's capital would do. ideally, he'd keep them as far away from the hydro archon as possible.
kaveh would never push his child to enroll in the akademiya, no matter how brilliant they are. unless they voluntarily want to go...
he will not do something that cruel to them. he wouldn't dream of it. honestly, even if they wanted to go, he would be a little hesitant.
(this view would change drastically after the sages are removed from office, however; once they're gone and the akademiya becomes less suffocating, he'd totally encourage them to go.)
if they did decide they wanted to go, however, he'd absolutely try to get them to enroll in kshahrewar.
like father like child!! they've been with the forest rangers for a while, so surely they'd be good with their hands by then.
alhaitham would try to get them into haravatat just to spite kaveh (those two are married, trust me!). his reasoning? they're far ahead of their peers in language. they'd thrive in an environment such as the one his darshan creates.
if they decide not to go? that's alright, too.
kaveh wants his child to thrive in an environment where they can safely and happily pursue whatever catches their interest, even if that means they regularly hop between subjects and ideas on a whim. inspiration is a skittish beast that would surely slip through their fingers if they aren't quick enough to pursue it; he understands this idea very well. it really isn't the end of the world if they don't want to go to the akademiya. they have plenty of scholars willing to teach them without all the academic stress attached—kaveh himself, alhaitham, tighnari, cyno...
(they're like a platonic co-parenting friend group LMAO they're raising [name] and collei together! they all help each other out!!)
kaveh is also very intent on teaching them to care for themselves before they try to care for anyone else.
he lives weighed down by guilt for things that weren't even his fault. he knows he's trapped by his own ideals; he'd be damned if he were to teach his child to be same way.
"do as i say, not as i do" kind of vibe. also definitely teaches his kid to "do no harm but take no shit"
(though, let's be honest: children learn through mirroring. if kaveh is not careful, his child will subconsciously adopt his self-destructive behaviors. thankfully, they do have other people to set them straight if they begin exhibiting such behaviors, namely alhaitham and cyno, who also do the majority of teaching them to "take no shit".)
ultimately, kaveh just wants his child to be happy, even if something were to happen to him. he doesn't want them to feel the way he does every moment of his life.
It wasn't often that Kaveh simply got to sit in calm silence with his child.
More often than not, they spent their time in Gandharva Ville with the forest rangers. However, every other weekend, Kaveh would take them back to Sumeru City with him; Alhaitham seemed to have no qualms with keeping them around after realizing the kind of child they turned out to be.
It was during the weekends the architect had them that he sought to spend as much time as possible with them.
Sometimes, that meant sitting peacefully in the silence together.
"...Little one," Kaveh called softly, hand stroking lovingly over their hair. They tilted their head back to meet his gaze, a small, inquisitive sound leaving their lips.
"Hm?"
"If something ever happens to me, I want you to know that you had nothing to do with it in any way, matter the circumstance. If something ever happens to me... it would not be your fault, okay? Do you understand?"
A heavy silence extended for a moment, and Kaveh could only watch as a variety of emotions crossed their face at once.
It unsettled him that they seemed to fight with themselves about how to respond, as if they couldn't agree with that.
Then again...
It wouldn't surprise him if they blamed themselves for the loss of their biological parents. Only time would tell if that pain would manifest into something worse as they got older.
"...Okay, baba. I understand."
He smiled, leaning down to kiss their forehead.
"Good."
please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!
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secret-sturniolo · 6 months
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just a long vent. read (or dont) idc
not that anyone really cares, but i just have some things i need to get off my chest because im currently alone in my room crying in the dark.
let me preface this by saying i dont have any friends. i literally do not have a single person i can talk to. i dont even have a therapist because she just quit. the last friend group i had, i found out they had a secret group chat where they were shit talking and making fun of me. so, the closest thing to friends i have are my 151 followers and the people in this fandom. when i log on here and i see that people have interacted with me or like my works, thats literally the highlight of my day. so to anyone who has talked to me or shown me support, i truly thank you and i love you.
if you met my family, you would think we have it all. my parents own a successful business, they (appear) happily married, and my brother and i have everything we could ever want or need. but heres the truth:
my parents are alcoholics. every night its the same thing. they get drunk, they fight and yell and say nasty things about each other until one of them goes to bed and they sleep in different rooms. im the one who has to mediate things. im the one who has to send my little brother to bed so he doesnt have to hear them. im the one who cleans up the spilled drinks. im the one who drove us to the hotel when my dad was being verbally abusive. and when my mom almost died in the ICU a month ago as a direct result of drinking, i was the one visiting her multiple times a day. i was the one at home doing all of the dishes, all of the laundry, all of the cleaning, and bringing my brother to and from school ON TOP OF my own schoolwork and going to work every evening all because my dad is lazy and doesnt get out of bed until 1pm.
they swore to me that they were done drinking. and when they lasted 3 days and got drunk again, i didnt shame them. i didnt say anything at all. in fact, i showed them support.
wanna guess what i get in return for all of that?
i get told that im the one whos tearing our family apart, that if they get divorced its my fault. that maybe if i was nicer we would have less problems.
and god forbid that i have a bad day sometimes like a normal human being, because then i get accused of not taking my medications.
they also like to act like my mental health problems are harder on them than they are on me as if they didnt literally play a role in me developing them. a year ago i had to go to another state to receive inpatient and residential treatment because i was anorexic and suicidal. let me tell you, thats not a vacation. i have clinically diagnosed ptsd from things i witnessed there. all those times they had to take me to the hospital? yeah, not fun for me either. i promise you, nobody has tubes shoved up their nose just for shits and giggles.
you guys, im only 17. i havent even graduated high school yet. if this is what life is like now, im terrified to be an adult.
i mean it when i say that this fandom keeps me going. it makes me feel appreciated, even just a little. so if you made it to the end of this, thanks for caring enough to read this absolute dumpster fire of a post.
love you all <3
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chihirolovebot · 2 months
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what puts yttd miles above dgr for me is the character relationships . i know its part of the plot but i do think dgr having all the characters being young adults means they're restricted on the diversity of the type of relationships shown. two characters can be like , friends, enemies, strangers or lovers ( they could've done something interesting with family members or people who knew each other before the killing game but that never really came up ? closest we got was enoshima and ikusaba and we never saw them interact ingame ) .
yttd is like . heres a 17 year old highschool girl and her 17 year old highschool boy best friend . and heres the 14 year old high school girl who sees sara as a replacement for her older sister . and heres reko and alice who are 20-something siblings who havent had contact for years and a strained relationship . and heres a 19 year old art student and her wacky 30 year old professor who cares about her so much he sacrifices himself just in case there was a threat . and heres the 22 year old job-hopper who is the other side of the coin to sara and is unknowingly the older brother of kanna . and heres the 30 year old ex-cop who starts off probably being pretty manipulative but grows to see sara like a daughter/younger sister figure . etc etc etc .
theres just SO MUCH. you can draw a line between most characters and find some evidence for how they feel about each other , even if their relationship isn't incredibly defined . and i think the character work is SO GOOD, it really really makes you care abt everyone . there isnt a single yttd character i can say i dislike ( though qtaro is probably my least favourite )
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single-malt-scotch · 1 year
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of course i have things to say about lim life and bdubs. you know its funny and great- of course i would love his pov. but i still feel satisfied by what i saw and i dont feel like i do. there is something very different about witnessing a player this way, something we really havent had at all. and of everyone its bdubs. the guy who is associated with time and the guy who acts out so well to the narrative in front of him. and we dont lose anything- bdubs is still bdubs.
after double life we see him team up with people he hadnt from LL-DL. something fresh. together they create a family themed around time and at the center of the map they make a clock tower. they watch every death that spawns for entertainment. regardless of his need to stay with the clockers he continuously shows attachment to TIES/etho (mostly etho). it may be in jest but the clockers point out numerous times that this behavior doesnt shock them, that of course hes like that with etho and of course its muddying his alliances. and lets not forget the grudges held by most members of TIES (eventually Skizz on the list for a bit due to killing him), a neat detail in this funny little situation.
and then for a good whole episode it does make a problem- in the sense it confuses him and everyone else as to where he lies. he later defends the hell out of etho even from the meta jokes of being washed up, later in game of putting himself in front of a group that wants to kill etho, again in offer his life that etho doesnt take. we dont get to hear his thought process, whatever commentary he may be giving about why he really wanted to be with etho again and why he struggled to make it happen. we see it through everyone else. cleo, who is amused at bdubs' very typical behavior but evermore trying to convince him to not go wot etho. etho, who gets glimpses at bdubs from afar and a few moments where they meet in private, having a connection only two close friends could have alone. the rest of TIES who takes him in in brief moments but never hearing more. overall in the end hes around and hes trying to do good, hes "trying his heart out", theres attempts being made but we can see them slip and falter from things outside of his control. the timing is never right.
but no im not done actually. his attempt to help isnt just tied to etho. bdubs has shown himself to be caring and kind, and putting himself out there in order to help others. i think thats where he fell apart- he wanted to keep it all good between clockers and TIES, despite the family dynamic putting in stone that it wasnt possible. as a whole he wanted to be in the middle and this extended to many other interactions. there wasnt a single person that bdubs was actively against this season (yes including skizz- their dynamic was on the same level after he first fight so it became mutual imo), no long building hate, and the clockers were welcoming to others too in their alliances but bdubs did still stand out as the clockers denied TIES and he held on to them. further in we get to the moments where bdubs then offers himself up. its like there was a realization on the game in episode 7, they were far enough in that he thought maybe he could help just before it got worse. he went up to jimmy who's known to die first (yet someone he hardly interacted with) and desperately and repeatedly asks to be killed and of course jimmy takes it, hes only a few minutes away. and then of course he tries again with etho, twice, including helping a fight and etho doesnt take it. you can hear bdubs in the background still laying out what etho could do.
as the season reaches its end let me wind back a bit to deaths in general. bdubs earliest death was certainly an interesting one, one fight he was so confident about and completely failed at, missing numerous hits. and this isnt a surprise to me. bdubs was actually pretty.... well he lacked a lot of kills this season. and not knowing his time for sure through the episodes made this all more interesting to watch, you know? he never seemed like he was really seeking it out. even in a stream before session 8 scar and grian both say they have no clue what bdubs' time is. im sure someone added this up but for everyone else and the average watcher, we see him fumbling or giving his time all while not thinking at all about what he had left just before the end. and then hes the first one to go out in episode 8. its not that it wasnt expected, but his time being in the dark for so much of the series leaves you not thinking about it. it didnt seem like he died that much, it didnt seem like his timer was that now- you wouldnt know for sure unless you saw his pov. most of all, we never really hear him asking for time? there arent any key moments with him saying he really needs to kill. hes fighting, hes helping, but theres barely a hint of desperation to hunt people down- he just stayed in the place he usually was, around the tower, hoping to lend a hand.
and death again. how does his series end? unexpected, completely unknowing to what would kill him. impulse had killed him once earlier and tried to a second time and the cute thing about it? they were laughing the whole time. this could be the moment where youd say impulse got the kill he wanted. and then we get to bdubs' perma death and its impulse again and he never saw it coming- out of the game first that session and left to spectate everyone until the next start to die. quietly until he gets in the chat.. not unlike LL, but not for nearly as long.
and of course, so much of his time is spent in around the clock tower. this led to all of the clocker's demise, with ow dangerous of a location it became, and its all the more in character for each of them to go out there. theres of course something poetic to take from that.
so what does bdubs give us this season? why does it still mean something despite his pov? well it can mean whatever you want it to mean, it can add up to whatever narrative you took from limited life. i dont know if we will know for sure why bdubs didnt upload outside of what he loosely stated on stream. but forever hes someone i look to for an act that has so much to take from it. intentional or not hes putting something in i never see from anyone else. there doesnt need to even be an artistic reason for his choice to not post but his choices always add up to something and i do think he goes out there knowing full well what he can do. he played a type only he can play, because its inherently just who he is and he will never stop being him and that is so great. ill never doubt his decision no matter if it was purposeful, or personal. bdubs is still bdubs and that is all that i wanted.
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sowthetide · 3 months
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GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS this is teainabowl AND IM BACK WITH MORE NONSENSE AS PROMISED. family crisis almost averted?? i havent slept in 2 days but lmao who cares. (you cant see me rn but i want you to know that im doing a happy little jump skip dance as im writing this)
BECAUSE!!!!! ok. lets talk about genderbending in fandom. i think what usually gives me the ick in those fics is they do nature vs nurture wrong??? like a lot of the time they’ll just change the NATURE of the character and use the different gender as an excuse which. idk idk it runs me the wrong way. BUT QUENN!!! shes very much still theon?? just, nurtured differently. am i making sense? i have been traumatized by some bio-essentialism bs in the past when trying to look into similar fics bc i love gender fuckery PEOPLE JUST DONT GET IT LIKE I DO (or you, appearantly hkdhhfjh i love your story it means so much to me) 
and asoiaf is SUCH a gendered world??? like it has so much untapped potential where even a single characters gender can have SO MUCH IMPACT (can you imagine if joffrey had been a girl?? or if sansa had been a boy???) 
but what originally started my spiel was the realization that jon wouldnt have gone to the nights watch if he was a girl. and. what then?? slightly horrifying tbh, and makes me wonder if one of the other character had been male (read; they had been given more agency and autonomy in their lives) what would have changed???
but back to jon, bc then i immediately thought, ok, lets backtrack a bit, who would jon even BE. bc a lot of jons character revolves around his (lack of) a relationship with catelyn, his siblings mother. but she would have a harder time avoiding him if he was a she, right?? am i making sense???? a girl isnt seen like as much of a threat to her children i thinks?? idk i love cat and jon so much a love picking apart their relationship bc bc bc ARGHhhgg yk? also i like to think of ned being haunted by lyannas carbon copy who happens to be great with swords (would he be permitted to practice swordplay??) idk
ANYWAYS no we come to the part where i tie it up to what you mentioned in your answer. bc as much as JON being a girl might change his relationship with cat, it would be much more fucked up if it were robb, me thinks. (i too am a bit guilty of using robb as an accessory to cat) but but but. are. are you seeing my vision. catelyn stark with her three daughters when ned leaves for the greyjoy rebellion. catelyn whos convinced that the reason her husband wont send his bastard away is because she cant give him any sons. in the books she calls bran her special little boy and. idk the double meaning this would give it. and bran!!! being the heir!!! hiw would that change things??? would the reception to his accident be different?? and speaking of, what about king robert and his obsession with joining his family with neds? i havent talked about how robb (robyn?) would be different in this au but i cant think hed be as pleased as sansa was? his first shown interaction with joff is him trying to curb stomp the fucker lmao. i dont think he would be likely to have a different opinion bc of gender changes. in the books hes often rash and impulsive and prideful, and id want him to keep those traits, but peoples reactions to them would be different?? and so he would shape them in different ways??? am i making sense i feel like im just rambling. this is getting way too long and wayy to incoherent i need to stop. ok bye for now ill be back (threatening)
GO TO BED!!!! GET SOME SLEEP!!!!! But yay! to family crisis averted? Maybe?
Okay. I'm gonna indulge in some haterism for a second cause I've actually poked around the ASOIAF genderbending tag quite a bit. Unfortunately, a lot of those fics? Lame as hell. There's a preponderance of genderbent Jon Snow, which I think is totally cool! Very interesting genderbend to explore because of how much it changes the trajectory of his story. But then the character isn't really written as Jon at all? Maybe I'm just picky about characterization, but oftentimes fem!Jon just becomes this cookie-cutter "strong/feisty" female protag and it's like...
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Sorry. I'm being mean. Obviously, there is no singular "correct" take on a given character, as we're all influenced by our own experiences and perceptions. My take on Theon isn't the exact same as yours, or goddcoward's, or Ashen's, or GRRM's. A unique Theon exists in all our heads, each one a bit different from the others.
But! Genderbends are so much more fun when you can see the underpinnings of the character you know, and there are moments where those aspects really shine through. And it's like OH!!! (pointing vigorously) THERE THEY ARE!!!! Otherwise, why not just write an OC, or adopt a minor character with very little canon characterization? (Admittedly, this can become a problem when you start collecting minor characters like Pokemon cards. I am my own evidence of this phenomenon.) If it ain't Jon, then why have it be Jon at all, y'know?
ngl female Joffrey has been rattling around in my brain lately... 👀fem!Joffrey would definitely be betrothed to Robb, which would be a complete and utter shitshow (appreciative/affectionate). Joffrey as a true mini-Cersei has such insane juice to it as a story idea, especially considering that Joffrey never liked Cersei all that much lol... the mother-daughter dynamic would be BONKERS.
Back to Jon though:
First, you're definitely right that fem!Jon wouldn't be seen as much of a threat to her siblings as Jon was. She would probably be married off pretty quickly once she came of age, as high as possible for a woman who was bastard-born. I don't see Catelyn liking her per se, but Catelyn wouldn't have the same misgivings about her as she did about Jon. Since fem!Jon probably wouldn't become the vessel of the wildling/Others plot, she might have an interesting role to play if she went south... to marry Robert's royal bastard Edric Storm, perhaps? I could see Robert "having his Lyanna" by marrying fem!Jon and Edric. But then shit hits the fan with the usual plot of AGOT, and maybe fem!Jon gets taken hostage by the Lannisters in King's Landing? Or gets caught in Renly's shit since she was with Edric at Storm's End? I am NAWTTTT talking myself into writing another fic. Go to hell. I need to finish Sow the Tide first.
fem!Robb (Robyn between myself and goddcoward) is even crazier. Catelyn would NOT be fucking happy to have Ned's spitting image hanging around Winterfell, while all her sons are under 10 and have the Tully look. I could see Catelyn successfully arguing that Jon should be fostered out, perhaps in the Vale (as a favor on the part of Jon Arryn)? Like, oh, Ned, you and Robert became such good friends fostering together in the Vale... that way, Jon is waythefuckoverthere and can't make any allies in the north.
I'd love for Robyn to have some of the same anger and pride, and she'd probably be similar to Catelyn in that she was raised as the heir for a good bit of time before the "real" heir came along years later (Bran+Edmure). Also, Catelyn would absolutely NOT trust Theon around Robyn. Not At All. Kinda fair though? Robyn would also be older than Sansa was in AGOT, so I think she'd be at least a little bit more worldly and pick up on Joffrey's... Joffreyness. Robb/Robyn are still dutiful characters, but I think there would be a lot more immediate friction between her and her betrothed. Double genderbend Throbb is my true love, however (Quobyn my beloved).
I've gotta finally go work on chapter 40 now, so I can't answer everything, but do come back... I'll be here... revolving all of these genderbends around in my head...
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ok so like despite spending years being constantly online and looking at the words Dungeons and Dragons, i am at a loss as to understanding what d&d is 😭😭😭 and i like ik you love jrwi so like... care to explain maybe??? i really wanna know fhdgdfkgk 😭😭
OH MY GID HM YMG SO MHYH GMYMDOG HI SAPPHO THANK YOU SI MCUH FOR ASKING ME HJS I AM GOING TO EXPLODE OKAY SO.
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As a premise i have played dnd but with a group of my friends for like 3 oneshots where i had no idea what was going on really and the dm was pretty inexperienced SO i am going 2 go off of all ive picked up from jrwi mostly since thats where ive learnt like. Everythin abt dnd. SO I MAY BE WRONG ABT SOME STUFF BUT IM EXPLAINING FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF SOMEONE WHO HAS LEARNT EVERYRHING LIKE THIRD HAND.
BUT. so dnd is. Fuck iidk what term u use to explain it but its basically exactly like playing pretend as an 8 year old except with more rules and its fantasy instead of like lego ninjago or whatever The Council of 8 year olds has decided 2 play today.
Im gonna relate EVERYTHING back 2 riptide btw forrrr ease of access SO YEAH OKAY.
In dnd, there r basically 2 roles u can be. Either the dm (the dungeon master) or a player. Simply these r basically like the narrator and the characters sorta. The players each have their own player characters (pc) that they play and they very rarely change who they play in a campaign. They might get a new pc if their old one dies or smth happens to them where they arent around for a while. The dm however, plays pretty much every single other npc in the campaign (and grizzly, the dm of riptide jrwi, does it so fucking well and he has a unique voice for like 80 different characters or smth hes insane). The dm also tells the story and presents the players w the situations they need to get past. The players then decide what they do. The entire thing however is a LOT of yes anding. For example, the dm might be like "so you step into this tavern and around you you see [description of tavern bla bla bla] and sitting at the tables r groups of people, many of them bald, [bla bla bla more description of everything happening round them]. And then with that the players might decide their characters talk to each other a bit and then slap each bald man, resulting in the dm then later creating a combat with the players fighting against a group of bald men. For example. But yea thats the dm n the players basically n yea
However beyond just usual roleplay of like characters interacting and chilling, theres the whole thing w ROLLING. Bc like. Just ROLL with it. Bc like any rpg every character, pc or npc or enemy or anything. Has stats in a few different skills. Since i barely remember playing dnd myself bc that was like almost 2 years ago or smth fuck if i remember, im just gonna list of what i do remember from hearin shit in riptide. So these skills r shit like charisma and strength and wisdom n acrobatics n whatever yknow and i dont actuallyyy remember but ITS FINE. and then there r 2 ways ppl can roll these things. Either checks, or saves. Its sorta difficult to explain the difference between a check and a save because in terms of technicality i dont actually know the difference. But usually checks are for if youve decided to just do an action, but saves are for if youre trying to negate a negative effect or. Whatever. For example, if youre trying to pick up something very heavy, youd make a strength check. But if you were like trying to. Fuck wait i cant think of an example of a strength save. Errr. Ok fuck it im switching 2 charisma examples. A charisma check would be if ur tryna like idk win someone over, but usually ud make a persuasion check or a deception check fuck wait er idk the difference. OKAY IGNORE ME HERE BC IDK THE TECHNICALITIES OF DND THAT WELL BC I HAVENT PLAYED IT IN A WHILE AND I ONLY DID A COUPLE VERY MESSY ONESHOTS. but a saving throw would be for smth likeee lets say someones tryna possess u and u dont want em to. U would make a wisdom saving throw to try to like Resist the possession. If u win the save, u dont get possessed. If u fail it, u get possessed. And the way u determine if something fails or wins, is with dcs. I do not know what dc stands for but its basically whatever number u have to roll higher than to pass.
ANYWAYS. With rolling n shit, with checks n saves, u roll on a d20 (a dice with 20 sides) and then add or subtract ur modifier in that ability. For example, gillion in jrwi has like a -4 to dexterity or smth absurd bc hes not dexterous at all. This means that if he rolls like a 15 on the d20, thatd become an 11 instead. If it is actually a -4 idk the exact number. Altho, chip jrwi has like a +11 to persuasion because hes fucking insane. So then if he rolls a 15 persuasion check thst becomes a fucking 26. Also, rolling a natural 20 or a natural 1 r like. Sorta big things as they r the highest and lowest u can roll. So like, rolling a nat20 is almost always an immediate success UNLESS whatever ur trying to beat has an insanely high dc. For example, at one point gillion had to make a constitution save with like a dc 35 because he had done some crazy shit. He rolled a natural 18, and with all his spells and all his modifiers to give him some kinda buff, he only made it to like a 32 USING ALMOST ALL HIS AND HIS FRIENDS SPELLS. So in this case he wouldve had to roll a nat20, but without the spells and buffs, that wouldnt have succeeded because it wouldve still been below the 35. Anyways.
Theres also a thing called rolling w advantage or disadvantage which is from whst ive seen, just rolling twice and taking whichevwr roll is best. So if u have like an advantage to a perception check bc like lets sayyy someones also looking with you so theyve given you advantage, you could roll twice and keep whichever roll ends up higher. And then vice versa w disadvantage.
Anyways theres a lotta mechanics i cant rlly fully explain bc i dont fully understand lol BUT smth i can explain to the best of my ability is COMBAT. so with combat, you begin with everything that is going to be fighting rolling initiative. This means player characters who r in the fight, enemies in the fight, and anyone who is going to join the fight later. The initiative rolls the decide the turn order, with the highest initiative going first, then down the turn order to the lowest initiative. Each turn, the character can do a buncha shit which i dont fully know BUT. I do know that everyone gets an action for their turn, so with that they could likee go to attack whatever theyre fighting, or use their movement to get away, or cast a spell to help themselves or their friends out or WHATEVER it can literally be like idk fuckin anything. Ur action could b shootin the bad guy in the face or it could b pullin down the pants of ur enemies. But then, some ppl also get a bonus action or maybe everyone or maybe idk i dont know the logistics but theres a number of Things u can do on ur turn until u decide that ur done doing things or if ur out of actions. Also tho bc its still very roleplayed, anyone can like talk to each other, regardless of turn. So like a character during their turn might shout to their ally, who can talk back instead of being locked in a stasis of Not Their Turn. However the person replying cant act on anything until it is their turn. Which leads 4 some kinds funny dialogue ig. Like 4 example it might be like. "Hey, ally, throw the Object over here !!" "I cant !" "Why not ????" "Its not my turn im stuck in my idle animation for the next 6 seconds !" Or whatevwr the fuck. But then they could throw The Object their next turn. Ummm and yeah. Also w combat p much most attacks have to pass the victims AC which is their armour class. So like, if one person wants to stab someone else, the dm will b like okay roll 2 hit. N if the other persons ac is sayyy a 15 (if they remember 2 put on their leather armour and dont forget to equip it for like 50 episodes) then that roll to hit has to end up above a 15, or itll miss. Or however thwy want to flavour it. Sometimes the miss will be flavoured as hitting armour and just clinking off of it, sometimes itll be the victim dodging, sometimes itll be just a complete fuck up, whatever rlly. And then yeah also in combat, if someones hp is reduced to 0, they do not automatically die unless theyre reduced to under double their max hp i think ? Idk the exact thing but no hit so far in riptide has instakilled i dont think other than one that was like crazy insane but that one was like crazy insane dc104 strength save holy fuck kinda blow. Actually i think its different when it comes 2 enemies bc the pcs have plot armour or smth idk man. But if someones hp is reduced to 0 they dont die, theyre knocked unconscious. And then, they remain unconscious until somebody heals them to above 1 hp, and for each round or smth they arent bsck, they make death saves. Idk if the dcs always the same or if its different for different ppl, it seems to just be a dc10 but idk. But if in total the character fails 3 death saves, they r just straight up dead. But if a character succeeds the death saves, theyre still unconscious, but not dead. If theu roll a nat1, thats automatically 2 failed saves in one. But if they roll a nat20, they recover a singular hitpoint and come back up.
Anyways thats all the mechanics shit out the way i do not understand it that well and a lot of it involves maths that im too scared to find out more abt BUT. in dnd as well there r races and classes. The race is like. Ur species. For example in riptide bc i love my examples, chip and jay r just humans, whereas gillion id a triton, so like. A fish guyyy. But with legs hes not a merman. And he is amphibious. Other races in dnd tho include tieflings and orcs and genasi and dragonborne and goliaths and That One Thing My Friend Was In Our Oneshot I Forgor and tabaxis and halflings and elves and a fuckkk ton of different races dude theres a lot. All of them r fantasy tho other than like. Humans. And also pets if there r any. Sometimes the pets r fantasy too. Like on the crew there was a bluebird called apple and she was just a normal bluebird. Well she had some shit going on but tbat wasnt important bc what was important was that her race was at that time just a normal bluebird. Altho theres also the most specialist girl in the whole wide world called pretzel and shes a frogtopus and she has the head of a frog and rhe body of an octopus but frogtopi dont exist irl but yea.
anyways, classes r different to races in that theyre less to do w genetics n more 2 do w abilities. For example, in riptide once again, chip is a rogue (i think hes taken like 2 levels in sorcery ? But hes primarily a rogue), jay is a hunter/ranger i forgot which one and an artificer, and gillion is a paladin and a sorcerer. These classes affect the abilities these ppl r good at and the things they can do, and if theyre magic, the spells they have and also the beliefs they hold. I thinkkk paladins r known 4 bein v like religious n shit bc a lot of the time the other players have been like Yeah Trust A Paladin To Thank God For Us Saving His Life or smth like that. But other classes include things likeee fighters and bards and warlocks and barbarians andddd i forgot any others becauseeeee yeahhhhhh awesomeeee but yeah!
Andddd yea honestly i think thats all the dnd stuff explained theres a few like other stuff ive probably missed out and ive probably got a buncha this shit wrong BUT this is enough 2 understand riptide atleast. I think. Basically, tldr, dnd is roleplay with more rules and fighting and fantasy and the dm is like god to ur players but like also god of the gods. The end.
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ihavenothingtodo10220 · 3 months
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do u ever think how in life we are told to aim for so much success and reach our full potential but then every other average person including celebs, idols etc etc are or have already done so, so why should we also need so much wealth or why should we need to put ourselves out there.
im constantly torn between wanting a simple affordable life that id be happy with maybe in the countryside (but its not affordable nowadays to live simply we still have to slave away) and the other side is that i have a need to constantly prove myself and to gain some type of recognition cause we are always told from kids to aim for the top paying jobs etc etc, most of that is what celebs have or do. i mean it cant always be that great what do rich ppl keep buying for each other dont they run out of things to own eventually cause they already own most rich people items?
fair enough if celebs and idols have talents but i dont im not even remotely pretty enough to do whatever it is they do but again its alwayd the what if i wouldve done things differently, maybe it would feel less narcissitic to want a bit of what celebs have if i already had done something differently yonks ago
the other issue is i no longer feel so attached to society if at all like i dont care to succeed i dont care to fail, im neither fussed if im alive or dead it just dont matter to me anymore, in the end the only thing thats going to happen is i will eventually pass away so no ones exactly going to miss me even in death or heaven as people still have their own lives i wouldnt or havent been anyone special at all
its almost saying how it only matters if its someone rich and famous so we have to be a somebody in order to be remembered otherwise we generally end up being a nobody as it is the way the internet goes into meltdown when celebs pass away as if it wasnt to be expected at some point. but if we arent on social media or we dont have a following we honestly do not matter even if we dont have partners or social group either like im so irrelevant no one gonna notice bar immediate family if i stop existing rofl
the way we have to do everything via a screen and screens are everywhere doesnt help me at all cause i feel further distanced from folk and like i dont belong, i dont need nor want a following but its almost being forced on all of us like people.
even idols cant do anything without needing to show their fans but the idols wouldnt notice every single fan to ever exist would they? all the interactions with celebs that fans have is always monentary or beifly. stays even treat bangchan like a long term permenanttherapist friend. yet neither if them truly know one another, so why do we get so attached to the idea of having thoughts and feelings towards someone whos never going to know us so again it dont matter if we do or dont exist as long as these idols and celebs briefly have enough fame for them to get by
but then what am i someone who just does nothing for a living cause i dont want what others want out of life if that makes sense? i either end up feeling like im from the wrong era dont belong with my generation dont belong with next generations would probably have preferred being in previous generations when things were simpler and affordable
sorry if this ask is a bit morbid, nihilistic or pessimistic i have so many mixed thoughts and feelings about existing lately what do you think? i mean obviously there is much narcissism in the world as it is so wouldnt we just be adding to it? am i just having nearly mid life crisis early? idfk anymore
Honestly people tell you to aim high because not only is it the best way to survive, but also because you can easily improve things. Many people who’ve done a lot were considered sub par, and the main reason they did was pure spite to the people who looked down on them and had more, and then they eventually became those people. It’s a cycle, and it’s human nature. And in this society, whether we like it or not, only the successful can truly be sure they can make it. Even middle-class families can easily crash and burn in the blink of an eye with losing their job and end up without anything to eat. But the successful don’t really have to worry about that, because they have a lot to fall back on. Things are also getting more and more expensive, and only the wealthy can really keep up with that. It’s sad, but reality.
And yeah, I think fans put so much pressure on idols because they’re just that. Idols. They idolize them and see them as these perfect beings far above any and everything, and they delude themselves into thinking they can be with them one day. So if an idol makes one wrong move, or dates someone, that false image comes crashing down. You don’t see that in the west simply because we don’t idolize celebrities to that same capacity. To us they’re not necessarily idols, and they’re much more open about their humanity.
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luckyqueenreign · 11 months
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Honestly, it took me a min to process this weeks episodes.
I have been reading people thoughts about the episodes, and i miss when the Islanders had their own personal opinion on MC.
I'm also getting tired of FB desperately trying to make LI so shady in this case, Lewie, for me.
Like pls make up your mind. Is Lewie a sweet guy, or is he a red flag. Is Jamal the chilled cool guy, or is he a snake. Like i get there has to be drama but why is everything surrounding MC at least season 2 and 4 we had Priya/Noah/Hope drama Lottie or mc/Rocco/Marisol drama and 4, the whole Lexi/Kobi/Valentina.
If this is an attempt to bring back the story line of MC and Bruno, they are failing horribly.
At this point, i just feel like Ozzy is obviously the main character, I like him, but i really wanted to pursue and look into the other routes before his slow burn.
I did like that we finally got to interact abit with amelia and she wasnt mixed in the drama, but Pls for the love of god just get over what you have to say because i promise you i dont care if its anything Zeph involved.
I liked Lewie getting jealous, and im not gonna lie. i liked the whole (Suresh/Arlo) moment looking at each other through the dates, i wish we could have flirted like we did then, but i was a Suresh Girlie. But definitely, last season gave me whiplash, and i was hoping for a cleaner route the first time around.
The whole recoupling was so rushed like i was literally just coupled up with Lewie the night before????
Also once again FB WHY ARE YOU MAKING HIM GO TO TALK TO CHLOE BEFORE US, then coming to me to sneak away with you at the day beds???
I'm calling it now, FB IF I SNEAK OUT AND I FIND THIS MAN WITH CHLOE IN A COMPROMISING POSITION IM RESTARTING MY ROUTE AND STICKING IT OUT WITH OZZY.
Like i love Lewie but i hate how they are doing his route filled with sneakiness.
Something bugging me is that we can't seem to talk to other ppl unless it's LI related. In Season 2 my MC was hooping around in my noah route. Right now, i feel like i barely spoke to Jamal or Roberto. it's either flirt with your first LI or Ozzy. Maybe they change it later. Sorry for venting!
no bestie dont be sorry because I feel the same right now!!
Every single season since s2 we've all been like bring back s2. give us what we had back then. and I know when s2 was out people complained that MC was constantly in someone else's drama and it was too centered around the villa and not us. but why didnt they tweak that just a tiny bit instead of giving us the most boring season of life with s3. s4 I think is the closest we ever got to s2 because we actually had routes that season but we also had one of the ugliest MCs of all time. no need to drudge up the past on s5...I was a suresh girlie too and man they put literally everyone in hell every single week. I have some ptsd after that season and still havent been able to replay it. I know we said we wanted recouplings back after having zero last season but we actually wanted some control over them!! we didnt want fb to just dictate them all over again. fb lowkey has ruined the LJR route for me. one I hate that those THREE guys all have the exact same route. and then if you aren't romancing the other two u literally never see them or talk to them. S2 I never romanced Ibrahim or Gary and was never coupled with them but I actually got to know them and even though we were just friends I knew so much about them. We know nothing about the other guys. Some people have sent me asks about head canons for Roberto and I havent been able to answer them bc I literally dont know that man. the only people I know are Ozzy and Lewie and even then the convos have been kind of surface.
ps you can vent anytime!! 💖
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So now we know that papyrus is aware of the ghost, but what does he think of each of them? (Doesn't need to be every single one but maybe just the ones he most often heard about? Tho i wouldn't mind all of em either)
Maybe why dream and killer are fond of him, and what do the others think?
(im sorry i havent answered this, ive just been so drained and i just dont have the mental or physical energy to draw for it, but the guilt has been eating me alive, so im gonna write this out, and i might edit it to add art after if i can)
lets work in areas, we'll start with the park ghosts, and then year order, then ill give paps answers as to how he feels about them at the end
Nightmare - He admires Papyrus's enthusiasm, and can see how he very clearly cares about his brother very strongly, and admires how close they are as siblings, something he wishes he had with dream. He also sees how him and dream similar, at least, how he remembers dream to be.
Cross - He sees the hidden strength that others do not in him, but also sees his peaceful nature within. Always sees the good in everyone, believing that they can be the best version of themself if they try, something he wishes he could have himself.
Dust - is kinda scared of him, but once he saw that he wasn't like his brother, he warmed up to him, wishing his brother was like him, someone who cared, and when sans told paps about this, paps offered to be his new brother, dust smiled for the fist time in a long while when he got the news
Horror - He wants so desperately to hug paps, and thank him for everything he has and still does for sans and their makeshift family. When paps learned of Horrors past, he told sans to bring him some of the spaghetti he was making, and leave it as an offering for him to have. Horror cried when he got the food. Paps insists that even when he doesnt go with sans to see them, that he take food for him, and Horror is so honoured
Killer - He sees Paps as the brother he never had. Killer didnt have any siblings, the only one i believe - minus blue who im working on behind the scenes - and in the ghost family, he's the youngest, he kinda sees paps as his baby brother, but doesnt want to share that cus he feels like he'd be stealing him from his real brother if he did, which is silly, paps has enough love for everyone.
Hospital
Dream - he relates to paps, and sees his younger self in his carefree attitude. He sees the adult Paps is, still so hopeful about the world, and wishes he still thought that way.
Geno - doesnt really interact with him much, he likes him, but theyre not very close. Genos kinda a mum friend, and sees paps as someone in the group of people he cares for, but they dont spend much time together
Town
Ink - routinely forgets of paps existence, when he's reintroduced, they get along great, and tend to hype each other up when talking about topics theyre interested in, very eager to hear about the others interests
Lust - while first wary, lust if very comfortable with him now. lust tends to be cautious with everyone he meets for the first time, due to his past, but he sees that paps is a good person, and sees him as what everyone should be, a shoulder to cry on, and a friend to lift your spirits ;)
Error - He doesnt really care about paps, he doesnt really care about anyone, but sometimes paps will offer him some wool or some knitting needles, and is now in his good books, though he'll refuse to admit it
paps :
Nightmare - he tries to help him see that he doesnt need to be so uptight all the time, everyone around him loves him, he doesnt always need to be "perfect," hes perfect to them all the same
Cross - He thinks Cross is so cool! While obviously paps is very cool, sometimes deep down he doesnt really believe it, but Cross really is! he hopes one day he will be just as brave and cools as him!
Dust - He feels really bad for him, he just want to give him a big hug, but he cant, so he'll make do with silent one sided comfort. he understands what its like for there to be so much noise in your head, that sometimes you want to scream, sometimes all you need is a hand to.... not hold
Horror - He's very glad that such a great baker likes his cooking! sometimes, he'll ask horror for new recipes, or tips to try, and together they run a small cooking blog online, stating that they have and old family cook book, and want the world to have access to those recipes, with sans typing it up for them - Its Ghost written ;)
Killer - He's very energetic! If he was visible to him, he'd love to show off cool magic attacks or have a friendly spar with him! They'd get along like a house on fire - just dont tell Nightmare that
Dream - Hes so sad to see the light squashed out of someone once a beacon of joy, and he hopes that with a few more people to speak to, and someone to show him the world can be good, that spark will rekindle - but maybe dont word it like that
Geno - He's very nice! Very mature, if a little morbid, he want to get closer to him, maybe he just needs to visit a little more!
Ink - Hes very cool! A very talented artist, and he like all papyrus's puzzles! sometimes they'll talk for hours about new ideas
Lust - he doesnt understand why lust wont show himself to him, that what his power is, right? But he respects that maybe he just doent want to! thats okay, he cant see the other ghosts either, if lust wants space to be happy, he can give him that
Error - He sees him as sort of like a cat, antisocial, but will begrudgingly tolerate your presence, one day he'll get him to like him! he refuses to give up!
Now, you have to remember, Papyrus cant see the ghosts, and while he can kinda feel where they are, he cant hear them (with the exception of horror, but thats not his voice) so -
Imagine Sans sitting in the corner translating everything for paps to hear FOR. EVERY. CONVERSATION.
mans just a walking Ouija board at this point
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allthatcattydatty · 8 months
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ANYWAY MOVIGN ON. right now the issue is with cute guy bc see.
yall know im terrible at romance ive never been in romance my only fling with romabnce is 4yearcrush guy and i haev to embrace that its coming to an end after he unknowingly gave me a reality check. im ace. i havent felt any other romantic attraction. i have legit no fucking clue what to do. i don tknow if im feeling romabntic attraction or just desperation to keep mhy new friend my friend for a long time
BUT CUTE GUY IS SO FUCING UCTE??!?!@?@!???!? LIKE REALLY HE HAS SUCH A CUTE SMILE. HE HAS A CUTE PERSONALITY. HE TAKES CARE OF CATS WELL HE HAS A PET CRAB. he loves animals hes so green flag. i like his humor we got the same morbid humor. we both got added into a big gc together and i reply to him and he replies to me. he genuinely thinks im funny and calls me a 'w'. im so torn oh my god do i like him or not. can he stop rizzing me up its Not Funny my heart is at stake
and ive been brushing this off (when i scream to my friends about this) as like ahaha im scared of social interaction and ive already had bad experiences talking to strangers bfore so i just want to be friends with him. and i do. he's great hes such a great person sometimes i wonder if im worthy enough to be his friend. but like i may or may not be infatuated with him. i may be jealous when i think of him liking another girl ... i may be swooning each time he ever so subtly gives me validation or when S sends me a pic of cute guy's cute ass face
if cute guy saw me having a breakdown over him he'd run away. no cute guy dont run
what if. if. not delulu. hypothetically. cute guy likes me i like cute guy back. what then. do i go for a relationship. bc so far ive built my past 2 years being so resolved on a future by myself. single girlboss catmom. what then, if a cute guy comes and introduces himself and i start to wonder if i want to have a relationship
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yyxgin · 2 years
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— tag game. ☔
recommend 5 or more of your own works that you would rec to someone asking what they should read first & explain a little bit about the work. these can be the most popular, the ones you think are underrated, or your own favorites! then tag five other writers! | tagged by @neo-shitty thanks toffee i love talking about myself! :p
you best believe i AM doing more than 5 because i write for a lot of groups and i truly believe those fics are worth reading!
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seventeen.
sympathy subtraction (chwe vernon). okay so there is NO way im not mentioning this fic. AND im putting it on first place because its literally my child. my longest fic and the fic i hold the closest to my heart. 40k full of undying love for chwe vernon, this is. it also really closely follows my emotions about every single falling-out i've ever had. the perfect slice of life, the perfect coming of age. i shamelessly reread this from time to time from how well written it actually is. i am not afraid to say that i am the biggest fan of my own fic bc oh well. i write the fics i wanna read <3
this february 14th (kim mingyu). okay here's the tea. for a while, i really didnt like this fic and i despised seeing it in my notifications, BUT. it literally has 1k notes so i reread it last night and i literally forgot what this fic was about i kid you not 😭 after reading it again, i came to the conclusion that my writing style in this is actually really good and even though the plot is not anything special, i still think it was really sweet :p
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nct.
happier than ever (huang renjun). a big FAT trauma dump. but i absolutely adore this fic. one of my absolute favorites. i somehow always give renjun the fics where i experience the most trauma lmao i treat writing for this boy like a therapy session. i think it has to do w the fact that i see myself a lot in renjun so it feels safe to write about him in this way :p anywAYS i still love the brother's best friend trope i incorporated in here. its also a fairly popular fic of mine, which is a pleasant surprise! a lot of coming of age/slice of life vibes, fluffy but also absolutely heartbreaking. <3
the borders (huang renjun). AAAAAAA another trauma dump 😭 hits a little less to home than the previous fic does, but still hits nonetheless. inspired by one of my most favorite songs ever! i always wanted to write a fic on this song, even back in my 5sos era, so i am glad i finally did it when writing for nct. handles very difficult themes, so i was a little scared of posting it, as it was the first full nct fic ive ever posted as well :) i said it the first time and i will say it again; handle this fic with care.
and i love her just like that (lee donghyuck). MY MOST POPULAR NCT FIC AND YOU KNOW WHAT? AS IT SHOULD BE. hyuck e2l just hitS 😩😩 i think about this fic at least two times a week when i go play table tennis with my dad. hyuck is a menace and i still wanna make out with him very badly at a ping-pong table. this fic represents just that. also slightly inspired by maniac by nct u bc hyuck ate
just saying (liu yangyang). my writing style in this >>>>> ngl i find myself really funny in this it might just be me but. this fic is top comedy. also i have a yangyang fic in my drafts that deserves to be in this list but i havent posted it yet😔😔😔 not yy being the only non dream member i write for from nct. his impact on me is truly impaccable.
seventeen going under (zhong chenle). another fic that might be difficult to handle and also another sam fender inspired fic. talks about suicide. with this, i wanted to speak up about the rate of male suicides and how we tend to overlook mental issues in men due to toxic masculinity. also, i loved the 'retro' film vibe and the chenji besties interactions i wrote in here<3
hypersonic missiles (na jaemin). bros i didnt expect this fic to get nearly as much attention as it has. idk man i dont really get much to say abt this one, other than the fact that its a sci-fi, which i dont usually write, but i fucking loved writing this it was so much fun i should do more sci-fi
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stray kids.
lee felix's guide to hating you (lee felix). another popular one!! loved every second of writing this. it handles my own feelings and emotions and the fic is very personal to me hihi it also lowkey made my blog "blow up"?? not that its big rn or anything, but i think that most of my followers came from this fic! :)
my only hate, my only love (kim seungmin). bruh there's just something about seungmin that only allows me to write angst for him. i think there's like one (1) fluff that i wrote for him and even that one is a short drabble. im sorry seungmin. 😭 anyways i am a literature hoe and wrote this despite not reading romeo and juliet fully once!! had a lot of fun with it. e2l stays superior (not actually, i prefer f2l but shh)
meet you there (kim seungmin). another heavy one ooof- inspired by sky castle! ngl i am very much in love with kim donghee and he always reminded me of seungmin a bit and i think that's what made me write this fic? 😭 not sure.
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tagging. @koishua @crispy-chan @chogiwow @mellow-midzy @aliceu @multi-kpop-fanfics @decembermoonskz and @tinami (if you come back to tumblr🤍) LETS SPREAD LOVE ABT OUR FICS AND ACT LIKE ARTISTS ON GENIUS EXPLAINING THE LYRICS 😡😡😡
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